To revisit this article, visit My Profile, then View saved stories

We may earn a commission if you buy something from any affiliate links on our site.

My Surrogacy Journey: What I Wish I’d Known Before I Started

By Sophie Beresiner

Image may contain Clothing Apparel Human Blonde Teen Kid Child Person Sweater and Sleeve

Art is made in hindsight

If fully embracing the wonder of surrogacy is an art form, well, everything I fretted about seems entirely irrelevant now that I’m out the other side. Every worry I had about us bonding, or anxiety about the birth, or how I would feel about looking at my daughter and not seeing any part of myself in her perfect face. Even spending a disproportionate amount of time thinking what that face could possibly look like. In hindsight, with the benefit of having and loving the baby I’d longed for all this time, really, who gives a f*ck? Of all the things I wish I’d known before I started, I would’ve had a really great head start in the (self-imposed) race to acceptance had I known this. 

Image may contain: Human, Person, Clothing, Apparel, Hug, Animal, and Bird

You don’t have to carry a child to be a mother

Well, duh. This really should go without saying, since adoption, fostering, even fathering sometimes counts as mothering too, but when it’s me? When it’s my own ability to be, and feel like a mother? I had extreme doubts. They came down to insecurity, inexperience and militant infertility, all the “ins”. Would I ever feel like her mother if I didn’t spend nine months “knowing her from the inside”? YES is the obvious answer, but of course I didn’t know it at the time. Would I be able to love her unconditionally from the moment she was born? Yes, or at least, I think so! Is the answer, because I was drowning in a whole host of other complex emotions in that moment, but I’m pretty sure one of them was overwhelming love. And terror. And what the hell? Someone expects me to keep this tiny thing alive now, with zero qualifications? But I’m told that’s a common thread among all new parents, whether they carried, adopted, fostered or fathered the child themselves, or not. 

The UK can do better (but it is trying!)

When we were first embarking on our surrogacy journey we were scared out of doing it in our own country because the UK upholds some, let’s say, archaic laws compared to America, where everything is highly regulated but also commercialised. Now I can clearly see the pros and cons of both countries, but I wish legally the UK would catch up with its own societal and cultural progression. Firstly, for the first six weeks, the surrogate could change her mind and keep the baby if she wanted to, regardless of our biological connection to it, even if the eggs were mine. Genetically I’d be the parent, but legally I wouldn’t be. But that’s moot here because it wasn’t my egg. It was my husband’s sperm though, so is he “Father” on the birth certificate? Nope. That role goes to the surrogate’s husband. The only way Mr B would get a legal look-in would be if the surrogate weren’t married. Then he’s drafted in as back-up Father. I could take a DNA test to the High Court to prove paternal parentage and they would still rule against him. See? ARCHAIC. But the law commission is working on reform, so we patiently wait. And hope.

Elle Fanning Just Cut Off All Her Hair – And Joined Team Bob

By Calin Van Paris

Suki Waterhouse & Robert Pattinson Have Welcomed Their First Child

By Hannah Coates

Image may contain Clothing Apparel Human Person and Outdoors

“Would I ever feel like her mother if I didn’t spend nine months ‘knowing her from the inside’?” Sophie asked herself.

Infertility acceptance is like a staircase

From experience, I look at it like this: Fertility is like a staircase, descending from a beautiful bedroom where scheduled but romantic sex happens and a baby is made. Ah, that was nice. Nice and normal. The next step down is probably a gruelling schedule, one that the other half gets quite irritated with (“I am not a MACHINE”), and eventually, a baby is made. If not? Process, deal with it, step down into IVF. And so on, until you get to an infertility diagnosis, that you have to process and deal with before you can step down into egg donation. Process, deal with it, embrace it! Ah, fail, then step down again into surrogacy. (My staircase was a grand one). Surrogacy was the step in this infertility journey that excluded me from the whole process. Surrogacy meant remortgaging the house, becoming the most interesting person at the dinner party, working out the simplest explanation for any uninitiated friends and acquaintances, but also, ultimately, it meant relief. I would not have to be solely responsible for all this repeated failure, and I could give my broken system a break and still be a mother, universe willing. 

Nobody needs a surrogacy social

Until recently they might have thought they did, because in the UK it’s illegal to “advertise” for a surrogate, so how else do you meet one? If you aren’t lucky enough to know someone who would perform this enormous, incredible, entirely selfless act of extreme kindness, what do you do? Go to a social event, much like a singles night at your local village hall, but with 60 desperately single women to every available man. It’s like the Hunger Games , but hopefully with the creation of life at the end, rather than violent destruction of it. But only for a couple of the successful intended parents who battled their desperate peers to win the surrogacy match. 

That felt horrendous to me, to us, having to persuade someone to choose me over someone else in that context casts a bit of an ugly shadow on the whole thing. Not only would I have to be on my best behaviour, it would be better-than-YOU-behaviour. And an “every man for himself” compulsion among a room full of sad, infertile couples doesn’t sound like a party to me. Unless they have tequila. But that was then. Now there is a new, not-for-profit organisation in the UK that wants to do things differently. My Surrogacy Journey also sees the issue with surrogacy socials – they don’t want anyone to win a popularity contest, they want to match the right couple with the right surrogate in an entirely supportive and considered way, and my goodness, I am here for that. It’s the sigh of relief this country has been waiting for to be honest, and definitely the route we will take for number two. About that…

Image may contain Rose Flower Plant Blossom and Leaf

Sophie has documented her path to motherhood in a new book. 

Surrogacy is like childbirth

Bear with me on this one, but it definitely is its own kind of labour. Although ours lasted a good few years rather than the traditional 24 to 48 hours, and it wasn’t as intensely physically painful (so I’m told). But just like actual childbirth, you forget the pain. You have to, or your beautiful, battled-for child would never have a hope of a sibling. Now that we are a year into knowing and loving our daughter, are we ready for another one? Well, no, is anyone ever ready to start all over again? But we want to, and so we can only try. Here goes, eh?

The Mother Project: Making It To Parenthood The (Very) Long Way Round, by Sophie Beresiner, is out now

Why Hiring A Doula Was The Best Decision I Made While Pregnant

By Rebecca Cope

The Problem With Seeing Our Children’s Success As Our Own

By Rebecca Cox

How I Feel About My Nose Job 5 Years Post-Surgery

By Katya Morrison

Kate’s Heartfelt Plea For Privacy Should Force Us To Confront An Uncomfortable Truth

By Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

  • Share full article

my surrogacy journey review

What to Know Before Your Surrogacy Journey

Surrogacy is an important family planning option, but be prepared for a lengthy, expensive and emotional process.

Credit... Lucy Jones

Supported by

By David Dodge

  • April 17, 2020

This guide was originally published on Oct. 11, 2019 in NYT Parenting.

From the time they began dating as teenagers, Rita and Erikson Magsino, now 39 and 43, talked about the family they hoped to have together one day. Almost immediately after marrying in 2005, they tried to make that dream a reality.

But parenthood would have to wait — Magsino learned she had an aggressive form of endometriosis that made it difficult for her to become pregnant. For over a decade, the couple tried everything to conceive — including fertility drugs and advanced treatments like intrauterine insemination and in vitro fertilization. Twice, Magsino became pregnant, only to miscarry late in the second trimester. “After we lost twins at 20 weeks, we decided enough was enough,” she said. A generation ago, the couple’s attempts to have a biological child most likely would have ended there. Instead, thanks to improvements in reproductive medicine, they welcomed a baby boy into their home in May with the help of a gestational surrogate.

Surrogacy has also created an avenue to biological parenthood for thousands of others who can’t conceive or carry children on their own, such as same-sex couples and single men. As a gay, H.I.V.-positive man, Brian Rosenberg, 54, figured biological fatherhood was forever out of reach. But thanks to surrogacy, and a technique known as “sperm washing,” which prevents H.I.V. transmission, he and his husband, Ferd van Gameren, 59, welcomed twins, biologically related to Rosenberg, in 2010. “It’s still hard to believe,” Rosenberg said. “I thought this was a door that was shut to me.”

Still, would-be parents need to be prepared for a process that is far longer, more expensive and emotional than many people expect — it’s called a “surrogacy journey” for a reason. For this guide, I interviewed the types of experts you can expect to encounter during a surrogacy journey, including two fertility specialists, a lawyer, a psychologist and an agency caseworker.

Learn the lingo.

Research the laws in your state — then hire a lawyer., build your surrogacy “team” — and pick your professionals carefully., decide if you want a surrogacy agency, or if you want to go it alone., find your surrogate and donor, if needed., understand the costs and ways to offset them., be cautious if pursuing surrogacy abroad..

There’s enough jargon within the world of surrogacy to fill a Rosetta Stone course. You’ll no doubt be fluent by the end of your process (which, by the way, is frequently referred to as a “journey”) but here are some basic terms and definitions to help you get started:

A “surrogate,” or a “carrier,” is someone who agrees to carry a child for another individual or couple — who in turn are referred to as the “intended parents.”

In “gestational surrogacy,” the most common form practiced in the United States, eggs from either a donor or intended parent are used to create embryos, so there is no biological relationship between the carrier and offspring. In “traditional surrogacy,” a carrier uses her own eggs to achieve pregnancy — meaning she will be biologically related to the child.

“Compassionate surrogacy,” also called “altruistic surrogacy,” refers to an arrangement in which a carrier agrees to carry a child for intended parents without compensation. In “commercial” surrogacy, a carrier is compensated.

Though the United States is one of the few countries to permit commercial surrogacy, the laws vary “considerably” state to state, said Judith Daar, the dean of Chase College of Law at Northern Kentucky University, and the chairwoman of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine Ethics Committee. Some states have comprehensive surrogacy laws on the books, others are completely silent on the subject, and a couple of states (like New York and Michigan ) currently permit only compassionate surrogacy. Research the legal landscape in your state , said Daar, but don’t obsess over the details — that’s what you’ll be paying a lawyer for. An experienced lawyer can help you complete a surrogacy journey even in states with unfavorable laws.

[Read about the legal basics L.G.B.T.Q. parents should know.]

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but with surrogacy it can take a village simply to conceive one. In her book, “ Your Future Family: The Essential Guide to Assisted Reproduction ,” Kim Bergman, Ph.D., senior partner at Growing Generations , a surrogacy and egg donation agency, outlined the four main types of experts that will make up your team:

Medical specialists: A reproductive endocrinologist will conduct medical screenings, create embryos and help your surrogate achieve pregnancy. Dr. Said Daneshmand, M.D., a fertility specialist at San Diego Fertility Center, described this relationship as “incredibly intimate,” so “find a doctor you feel comfortable with.”

Reproductive lawyers: You will need to negotiate legal contracts with your surrogate and egg donor, if you are using one — both of which are complicated documents. So hire a lawyer with “extensive experience in these areas,” Daar said. Your lawyer will help you navigate two critical issues: the legality of surrogacy contracts in your state, and the steps needed to establish your parental rights and to sever those of your surrogate’s.

Mental health professionals: The American Society of Reproductive Medicine, the largest organization in the United States dedicated to the practice and study of assisted reproduction technologies, recommends that you, your surrogate and your donor — and each of your partners, where relevant — undergo screening by a trained psychologist early on in the process. This is “essential,” not a luxury, according to Dr. Bergman. “Using third parties to create your family can be intrusive and emotional, and a therapist can help you work through some of the unexpected feelings that can arise for you.”

Fertility insurance experts: You also may need to work with a fertility insurance expert to make sure your surrogate’s pregnancy is covered. “Sometimes a surrogate’s own insurance plan will cover her pregnancy, but not always,” said Dr. Bergman. If you plan to use an egg donor, you will also need a special form of insurance for her. Intended parents from outside of the United States will have a particular need to consult an insurance expert.

The ease of your surrogacy journey will depend on the effectiveness of this team, and how well everyone collaborates, “so meet with multiple experts and get recommendations before hiring them,” advised Dr. Bergman. All of these experts should offer free consultations, she added, and should be willing to refer you to previous clients. A good place to start your search is the American Society of Reproductive Medicine .

Independent surrogacy: Many experts caution against attempting surrogacy independently, particularly if your reasons are financial. If everything goes perfectly, you could save yourself roughly $30,000 in agency fees, said Dr. Bergman. “But what if you end up requiring more than one donor or carrier, or need multiple legal contracts?” An agency is paid to handle these complications, she said, but independently, “you’re left to navigate these problems and pay for them on your own.”

Still, you may have a good reason for independent surrogacy. For instance, if you are working with a “compassionate” surrogate, like a friend or a family member, you won’t need an agency’s matching services. If you decide to pursue surrogacy independently, Dr. Bergman suggested you first meet with and hire a qualified lawyer to understand the laws in your state, and build the rest of your team from there.

Surrogacy agency: There is no federal oversight or comprehensive set of standards surrogacy agencies must adhere to, which means the quality varies widely. “Surrogacy agencies are businesses,” Daar said. “Treat them as such when deciding between them.” Experts generally agree that the guidelines developed by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine for the ethical practice of surrogacy are the most comprehensive — so, at a minimum, make sure your agency lives up to those.

There are some online resources that can help you in your search for an agency. All Things Surrogacy and Surrogacy Advisor both maintain a directory of agencies, along with some reviews from past clients. For help finding an L.G.B.T.Q.-friendly agency, the nonprofit Men Having Babies has a directory, along with reviews and ratings from former clients.

But the best way to decide, according to Dr. Bergman, is to meet with several agencies and take an “active role” during these consultations. “Find out how long they’ve been practicing, their success rates, educational backgrounds, and what their screening process is like for donors and surrogates.” For L.G.B.T.Q. and international clients, she also recommended getting statistics on the number of clients they’ve served from these communities.

Surrogates: The relationship you have with your surrogate is unique among the people you will work with during your journey, said Heather Manojlovic, who has worked as a surrogate for two families and is now a surrogate coordinator at Circle Surrogacy, a surrogacy and egg donation agency. “Make sure she and her partner are people you want to go on this journey with,” she said.

If you are working with an agency, ask about its screening process. Some will do comprehensive health, criminal, financial and psychological screenings before you “match” with a surrogate, Manojlovic said. But others do partial pre-screenings, and complete the full process only after you and your surrogate have agreed to work with each other — meaning there is a greater possibility a match will fall through.

Only two percent of the women who start an application with Circle Surrogacy successfully match with an intended parent — those that do share some common characteristics, said Manojlovic. All will already have successfully carried a child to term, for instance, and will generally have had no more than one previous miscarriage. “Surrogates also won’t be dependent on this income as a primary source,” said Manojlovic — noting the average household income for a surrogate at Circle Surrogacy is $74,000.

Manojlovic encouraged intended parents to talk to surrogates about their motivations. “Most of these women are drawn to this work for reasons that go well beyond the financial compensation,” she said. Her inspiration, for example, came from watching her aunt struggle with infertility. “I saw firsthand how devastating it was, and now I’m in a position to help others like her.”

Donor relationships: Egg and sperm donation in the United States has experienced a “sea change” within the last generation, said Sam Hyde, president of Circle Surrogacy. “Fifteen years ago, 100 percent of our clients used anonymous donors when creating embryos.” But today, thanks in part to the popularity of home DNA-testing kits, and the ease of finding people online, “the idea of ‘anonymous’ donation doesn’t really exist anymore.” So intended parents should determine the “degree of openness” they are comfortable having with their donor. “There is no right or wrong way to do this,” Hyde said. Some families connect on social media but little else, he said, while others involve their donor as an integral part of the family.

Known donors and surrogates: Some intended parents come to the surrogacy process with a friend or family member who has offered to be a carrier or donor. Dr. Richard Paulson, M.D., director of U.S.C. Fertility and past president of the A.S.R.M, has seen plenty of these scenarios “play out beautifully,” he said — but known donors and surrogates still need to undergo many of the same rigorous screenings. Known surrogates, in particular, “are the least likely to go forward as a successful match,” he said. Often, they fail to pass the clinic’s health assessments, or drop out after “fully coming to appreciate what it means to carry someone else’s child for nine months.”

There’s no getting around it — surrogacy is expensive. Most of the experts interviewed for this guide put the average price for a surrogacy journey around $150,000. But the final cost will vary, considerably, depending on your circumstances.

Two main factors affecting cost are whether you need an egg donor, and how many rounds of I.V.F. are required before your surrogate conceives. If you don’t need a donor, the cost for each cycle of I.V.F. can be around $15,000 to $20,000, but if you do, this figure can rise to $50,000 per cycle. Dr. Bergman said that, as long as the eggs and sperm are healthy, 70 percent of surrogates achieve pregnancy on the first try, and 99 percent by the third. Still, you could be spending anywhere from $15,000 to $150,000 on I.V.F. cycles.

Travel expenses and insurance can also impact the overall cost, especially for international intended parents pursuing surrogacy in the United States. “Babies born to domestic couples will be covered under their own insurance plans,” said Dr. Daneshmand, who specializes in international surrogacy arrangements. “That’s not the case with international parents — they’ll need to get their newborn’s insurance separately.”

While many families take out loans to afford surrogacy’s hefty cost, there are some other ways to bring down this total. “Definitely check with your employer to start with,” said Dr. Bergman. More businesses are starting to cover the costs of I.V.F. treatments up to a certain dollar amount, and others are starting to cover costs like travel expenses and legal fees. There are also limited grant and scholarship opportunities. The AGC Scholarship Foundation , for instance, helps offset some of the costs associated with surrogacy for those struggling with infertility. Men Having Babies offers sizable grants to gay men interested in forming their families through surrogacy.

Most experts warn intended parents against pursuing surrogacy outside the United States, where reputable agencies adhere to the standards put forward by the American Society of Reproductive Medicine. “It’s risky because you’re leaving a very structured, regulated environment, with professionals with a great deal of expertise,” said Dr. Daneshmand. Intended parents may have a difficult time leaving a foreign country with proper documentation, like birth certificates, he said. And most countries forbid commercial surrogacy contracts — so unless you are working with a compassionate surrogate, where no financial compensation is involved, “you may be out of luck.”

David Dodge is a writer focusing on non-traditional families and a proud father of three.

What to Know About I.V.F.

In vitro fertilization can be daunting, but preparation and learning about the side effects can make it a lot easier. Our guide can help .

There are still large gaps in our knowledge about how I.V.F. procedures affect women years later. Here’s why .

Some couples, aware of the difficulties of conception and pregnancy, are choosing I.V.F. as a first option .

Many insurance companies don’t cover I.V.F. treatments. But there are ways to ease the financial burden .

For L.G.B.T.Q. couples, the path to parenthood can be long . One writer shared her absurd but ultimately successful experience  using I.V.F. to become pregnant.

Have you gone through an I.V.F. treatment? Tell us about your experience .

Advertisement

  • Trying to Conceive
  • Signs & Symptoms
  • Pregnancy Tests
  • Fertility Testing
  • Fertility Treatment
  • Weeks & Trimesters
  • Staying Healthy
  • Preparing for Baby
  • Complications & Concerns
  • Pregnancy Loss
  • Breastfeeding
  • School-Aged Kids
  • Raising Kids
  • Personal Stories
  • Everyday Wellness
  • Safety & First Aid
  • Immunizations
  • Food & Nutrition
  • Active Play
  • Pregnancy Products
  • Nursery & Sleep Products
  • Nursing & Feeding Products
  • Clothing & Accessories
  • Toys & Gifts
  • Ovulation Calculator
  • Pregnancy Due Date Calculator
  • How to Talk About Postpartum Depression
  • Editorial Process
  • Meet Our Review Board

Perspectives: 7 Families Share Their Surrogacy Journey

Christian Alzate / Verywell

For our Perspectives series, we are interviewing diverse people around the country about their journey to having children with a gestational carrier.

While the number of children born each year in the U.S. via surrogacy is a small percentage of the total, the number of families turning to this practice has risen sharply in the last 20 years. According to a study in the Journal of Assisted Reproduction and Genetics , the percentage of surrogate births out of all assisted births tripled between 1999 and 2014, while the number of infants born annually via surrogate doubled between 2004 and 2008.

Even so, there is still a shroud of secrecy and confusion around the practice and the legality of surrogacy varies greatly from one state to another . To help demystify the process, we asked a diverse group of parents to share their reasons for pursuing surrogacy, what their experience was like, and the misconceptions that exist about the process.

One of the biggest ones: The definition of the word surrogacy, which many of the families here found themselves explaining to friends and loved ones. In most cases, as many of the parents explain, "surrogate" typically refers to a gestational carrier or a woman who becomes pregnant through in vitro fertilization (IVF) and is not genetically related to the child she is carrying.

Ahead, more of the questions families field and their experiences having children via surrogacy.

Gestational Carrier vs. Surrogate

"Gestational carrier" is a mindful alternative to the word "surrogate." "Surrogates traditionally were genetically related to the baby, while the term gestational carrier indicates no genetic connection to the baby," says Rachel Gurevich, RN, a fertility advocate and member of the Verywell Family Review Board .

Traditionally, surrogates are genetically related to the baby they are carrying, oftentimes artificially inseminated by the baby's father. The term gestational carrier acknowledges the possibility of a donated embryo from the intended parents, in which the gestational carrier has no relation to the fetus.

Randy Rowe and Kyle Keigan

Ages : 34 and 30

Location : Cincinnati, OH

Occupations : Assistant professor of Russian at the University of Cincinnati and art director at Steel City Brand (respectively)

Son's age : 4 Months

Why Did You Decide to Use a Surrogate?

We are a same-sex couple, and so our options for growing our family are limited to adoption or surrogacy. Given the hostile political climate that LGBTQ+ parents have faced with regard to marriage and children, we opted to use a surrogate rather than pursue adoption.

Many states have differing laws with regard to LGBTQ+ adoptions. Moreover, many adoption agencies are religiously affiliated. Under so-called “religious freedom,” these agencies are free to discriminate against same-sex couples seeking to adopt.

We chose to use genetic material from Kyle and my [Randy’s] sister to make embryos. We then found a wonderful gestational carrier who carried and delivered Oskar. We chose to use our genetic material, as well as our family’s in order to ensure that our parentage or legal relationship to the child could not be challenged because of the make-up of our family. This may seem paranoid, but we have seen this happen in places like Russia, and [we wanted to be sure].

How Did You Find Your Surrogate?

Our amazing gestational carrier lives in Colorado, and we would have never found her without the help of our incredible agency, ConceiveAbilities . We chose them as our agency mostly because of their “all-in” package, which made the logistical and financial aspects of our journey very easy and stress-free.

Furthermore, we wanted access to a large and well-vetted pool of potential carriers. We needed to have a carrier in a state that is legally friendly to surrogacy, and moreover, a state with established precedence for legal parentage procedures for same-sex families.

It turns out Colorado was an ideal state for us, and so we were introduced to our carrier through our agency. ConceiveAbilities has thoroughly vetted their carriers and surrogates with regard to health, mental, financial, and social stabilities. They also spend much time getting to know the surrogates/carriers, so that they can make a perfect match.

After spending a month getting to know me and Kyle, our match manager suggested that we meet our carrier and her husband. We met. We all loved each other. We all decided to go on this journey together within 24 hours.

What Was Your Role In the Birth?

Well, obviously, our carrier did all the hard work! We were lucky enough to have a carrier who has tremendous support from her family.

This is something that ConceiveAbilities requires of their candidates, but we didn’t know just how wonderful it would be for our carrier to have such a patient and loving partner. She and him did all of the hard work during the pregnancy, labor, and birth.

We actually had an induced birth, so the time from induction to birth was about 24 hours (Friday, 5/21/21 at 9:30 p.m. to Saturday, 5/22/21 at 9:30 p.m.). Kyle and I were in close contact with our carrier and her partner from the minute they arrived at the hospital for the induction.

We had taken a flight from Cincinnati to Denver two days prior and were at a hotel nervously awaiting any progress reports. Our carrier was relaxed and wanted to try to sleep after the initial administration of the induction medication, so we remained at the hotel the night of May 21, and we decided we would come first thing in the morning of May 22.

It was wonderful having almost 12 hours with our carrier. For the most part of the induction, she was not in a terrible amount of pain, so we were able to have many conversations and bond.

When we arrived there was still not much progress, so we settled in for the day in the room with our carrier and her partner. It was wonderful having almost 12 hours with our carrier. For the most part of the induction, she was not in a terrible amount of pain, so we were able to have many conversations and bond.

We didn’t have the opportunity to meet our carrier in person until the birth because of the COVID-19 pandemic. We sat and talked, laughed, listened to music, watched cheesy horror films on TV, and overall we cemented our little team. Team Oskar, if you will.

We, of course, offered our support in any way that we could. We brought her everything she asked for, and tried to anticipate her every need. Thank goodness for her partner! He was so wonderful in anticipating her needs. (He had done this with her three times prior.)

While we were offering all of the help we could think of, and her partner was there by her side, she was handling the labor and delivery with grace, confidence, and the mysterious strength of a woman giving birth. She was phenomenal beyond what we thought possible of a human being.

What Is a Misconception About Surrogacy And How Did Your Experience Contradict It?

Many peoples’ concern was that surrogacy and/or using a gestational carrier is somehow a shady business. That is to say that we fielded a lot of questions like, “Well, what if she doesn’t give you your baby?” or “What if she takes the payment and there is no baby?”

These questions are likely due to the stigma that still exists in talking about surrogacy. This is not something that is done in the shadows, and if more people felt comfortable being open about the process, then I think there would be greater understanding and a larger belief in the legitimacy of surrogacy.

Our agency and carrier were the utmost professionals. We had mounds of legal paperwork that were expertly handled by our agency-connected attorneys, and we had all of our finances handled by a professional escrow management firm.

When it came down to it, ConceiveAbilities ensured the professional handling of our journey’s logistics and finances, both of which were agreed to and contracted well before Team Oskar assembled officially. This made our relationship with our carrier stress-free and allowed all of us to focus solely on our soon-to-be baby boy, Oskar.

Josephine Atluri and husband Mode

Ages : 43 and 45

Location : Los Angeles, CA

Occupation : meditation and mindfulness coach for infertility and parenting

Children's ages : 14 (international adoption), 12 and 12 (IVF carried by Josephine), 5 and 5 (twins via surrogacy), 4 months and 4 months (twins via surrogacy)

Our path to parenthood proved to be very challenging. Due to an illness, we knew we would have to start with in-vitro fertilization (IVF) to conceive a child. After a few years of back-to-back IVF cycles, we finally became pregnant with twins only to lose them in the second trimester.

It was after this loss and during our time of grief that we pivoted to international adoption because I knew that I did not have the physical, mental, and emotional strength to do another IVF cycle.

After adopting our son we decided to try IVF one last time. We went to CCRM Fertility , instead of our previous provider. Since they did not know what caused our previous loss, a lot of precautions had to be taken during this pregnancy. I successfully gave birth to twins. After that difficult pregnancy and the emotional toll the entire IVF process took on me, we knew that I could no longer try for another pregnancy.

Josephine Atluri

Anyone who has gone through assisted reproductive technology (ART) knows the blood, sweat, and tears that go into creating these em-babies.

However, after that last round at CCRM , we had a number of great quality embryos frozen. Anyone who has gone through assisted reproductive technology (ART) knows the blood, sweat, and tears that go into creating these em-babies. It was always in the back of our minds as to what to do with them, especially when we would get our annual letter from the storage facility. 

We had always wanted to have a big family and wanted to give our embryos a chance. It was definitely a tough decision because it involved asking someone we didn’t know to help us in such an intimate capacity. It required a lot of trust and release of control on our part, which was not foreign to us given our experiences with international adoption and IVF on our own.

Granted, each experience was unique and came with its own challenges to navigate. But I would have to say that surrogacy was probably the hardest because it was like a combination of IVF and international adoption. It involved a lot of legal paperwork plus the medical aspect of a frozen transfer and working with someone to carry your child. 

Initially, surrogacy was too expensive for us to pursue so we saved up for five years. Coupled with a great benefit from my husband’s job, we found a surrogacy company recommended by CCRM , [our fertility company]. We asked Dr. Schoolcraft for a recommendation because we wanted to work with them again for the next attempt as we had such a pleasant and seamless experience with them for the last pregnancy.

The company they recommended was very professional and so helpful in guiding us on all the steps from start to finish. After a wait time of about half a year, we interviewed a few potential surrogates and found a great match. 

We pursued the surrogacy option one more time recently, as we had a few more frozen embryos remaining. We went with a different surrogacy agency, also recommended by CCRM , but with a lower cost point.

The path to parenthood is tough enough. The more ways you can reduce the challenges in the journey, the easier it is for your mental wellness.

As we knew the fertility center and doctor we wanted to work with, it was very important to us that they had a good working relationship with a surrogacy agency to make it an easier process. The path to parenthood is tough enough. The more ways you can reduce the challenges in the journey, the easier it is for your mental wellness.

Our second time with surrogacy was a slightly different experience but not by much. Once again, we were so lucky to find an amazing partner after only reviewing a few surrogate applicants. It is always hard to go through the applications and say no because you feel like you are losing your place in line and might have said no to someone who could have been a great match.

However, due to the time sensitivity, as others are waiting in line after you to receive surrogate referrals, you do have to trust your gut instincts as this is someone who will be carrying and caring for your child.

During the first time with surrogacy, our surrogate was in another state so we had a long-distance relationship which initially made it difficult to navigate. And for our second surrogacy experience, it was a little easier to connect as we lived in the same state, but because of COVID-19 we still didn’t get to see one another as much.

The surrogate and intended parent relationship is also inherently challenging because there are no social norms for how one should act. It is a very unique partnership that you never learn how to handle. With both surrogates, we had to get to know one another via phone, text, and Facetime. It was almost like creating a new friendship but with so much more at stake.

Initially, during the testing period and the medication cycle prior to the frozen transfer, it was challenging to talk and give updates because there wasn’t a child to connect over yet. So instead when we would talk, we went over updates on side effects and appointments. It definitely felt more formal in the beginning.

After the transfer, and especially once we had confirmation of a positive pregnancy, the relationship shifted as we now had a life that bonded us together to discuss. In both cases, I could not attend weekly appointments with her, so I would get updates from the nurses and doctors.

More recently, as the COVID-19 pandemic led to doctors’ offices being more flexible, they allowed video calls during monitoring appointments so I could see the ultrasound in real-time. I was able to attend two doctor’s appointments for both of our surrogates during the bigger 20-month screen and then one more prior to birth. 

For the actual birth, it was important for us to work with our surrogate on a birth plan that met both of our needs and made each of us feel comfortable. As we were long distance for the first one, the moment our surrogate felt like she was having contractions, my husband hopped on a plane and made it just in time to welcome our twin boys after their birth.

For our second surrogacy experience, it was a scheduled C-section so we were both able to drive over to the hospital and wait in a labor and delivery room while our surrogate gave birth to our twin girls.

I get a lot of questions about surrogacy pertaining to cost, the process, and the relationship. I feel like a lot of people think that we just pay a lot of money upfront and then nine months later the “mother” delivers the baby and hands her over to us.

One misconception is that it is purely a monetary transactional process. Yes, money is involved and it is a service at its core. However, what I found with both of our surrogates and what I have heard from so many other fertility mindfulness clients that I work with, is that surrogates are also doing this because they enjoy being able to care for a child. They enjoy positively impacting a family’s life in so many ways. Their sacrifice is the ultimate gift of kindness.

Surrogates are doing this because they enjoy being able to care for a child. They enjoy positively impacting a family’s life in so many ways. Their sacrifice is the ultimate gift of kindness.

Another misconception that exists about surrogacy is that the gestational carrier is the “mother” and we don’t have any relationship outside of receiving a child from her at the very end.  As I explained earlier, we chose to have a very involved partnership with both of our surrogates as it was important for us to form a bond with the woman carrying our children.

Everyone can choose the level of connection and the type of relationship that they want to have. It is up to you both to decide what feels right for your families and what you are actually able to do.

And let’s also use the right terminology if we’re talking about misconceptions. The woman carrying the child is the gestational carrier or surrogate, who typically does not have any genetic relation to the child being carried. The intended parents are the mothers and fathers. After going through such a long and arduous path to parenthood, it was always a sore point to be asked who was the real mother.

After partnering with two different surrogates to create our two sets of twins, I feel really lucky to have had this opportunity and to have worked with such amazing women. Whenever I look at my twin boys and my twin girls, I always think about them and their strength and generosity.

Crystal Patel and Kunal Mody

Ages : 38 and 39

Location : Chicago, IL

Occupations : Client development specialist at ConceiveAbilities and hospitality developer (respectively)

Daughter's age : 6 months

It was a difficult decision, but ultimately became one of the last options we had available. I suffer from fibroids (over 100 to be exact). There isn't enough room in my uterus for a baby to grow and develop.

After a miscarriage in 2019, we consulted with a radiologist to see if I was a candidate for uterine fibroid embolization surgery. This surgery carries a 10% risk of ovarian failure, therefore it was recommended I freeze my eggs in case the worst were to happen.

Come to find out through this process we learned that I also had very low egg quality, which made it difficult to create healthy genetically tested embryos. After four rounds of IVF, we were able to create one embryo.

We knew the odds of success were not on our side due to the state of my uterus which is why we decided to pursue surrogacy. We wanted to give our one miracle embryo the very best chance of life.

We found our surrogate through our agency ConceiveAbilities . After struggling with infertility over the last four years, my journey to surrogacy led me to make a career change. In October of 2020, I joined my agency as an employee while I was also a client. I wanted to help other intended parents such as myself and Kunal.

Due to COVID-19 restrictions, initially the hospital took a hard stance that we would not be able to be present for the birth of our child. The plan was once Zahra was born, she would be transported to our hospital room which was located right next to our surrogate.

Our labor and delivery nurses were the kindest people! Once we checked into the hospital the morning of induction and they learned our story they said there was absolutely no way we would miss the birth of our child.

Crystal Patel

[Our surrogate] has always been our biggest advocate and was no different at that moment.

We both went to grab a coffee and before we could take a sip, the nurse walked in and asked if we were ready to meet our daughter. We sped next door and my husband and I were next to our surrogate as she labored. Ten minutes and three pushes later our daughter had entered the world! My husband was able to cut the umbilical cord and then she was given to my husband and I for skin-to-skin contact. 

Our surrogate was amazing! Even as she was pushing she was reminding the OB/GYN to hand Zahra to me immediately, yelling at her husband to make sure and get pictures of everything so we could be in the moment. She has always been our biggest advocate and was no different at that moment.

I think our biggest fear was how can I trust that [our surrogate] was taking care of herself every day. Was she eating healthy foods? Was she making decisions throughout the day to protect our child that we worked so hard to create? One of the most difficult things to come to terms with is that no one will carry this pregnancy exactly like you. With time you will come to learn that it is OK.

One of the most difficult things to come to terms with is that no one will carry this pregnancy exactly like you. With time you will come to learn that it is OK.

Our journey looked quite different than I had hoped due to COVID-19, but technology was such a gift through the process. Our surrogate always video chatted me during all of her appointments if and when the obstetrician allowed it. She emailed the medical summary after every appointment once it has been uploaded electronically into her chart, even if I was there virtually for the appointment.

She took it upon herself to purchase Belly Buds, which allowed Kunal and I to read to Zahra. Then she played the audio for Zahara so she could learn our voices. As she progressed along in the pregnancy and could begin to feel Zahara move, she always texted to let us know if she was active that day. Or, she would warn us that Zahara was up at all hours of the night so we might have a party animal on our hands.

Ironically, a majority of the time when we were texting one another, we weren't even talking about the baby. I think she knew on some level that I needed to know that she and Zahra were safe. We would talk about the sports that her children were participating in, or talk about work, or what crazy ideas we were coming up with next to convince our husbands to partake in.

There are multiple ways to be connected throughout the process and it will look different for each family. I would encourage intended parents to be honest from the beginning of what their expectations are. This way your surrogate can help you feel connected throughout the process based on your preference.

Don’t let your mind travel to a dark place if [your surrogate] doesn’t text or call back immediately. She is also living her life as a mother, spouse, and support system. 

A piece of advice: Remember that your surrogate has a child of her own, maybe a career, or spouse as well that she is tending to. Don’t let your mind travel to a dark place if she doesn’t text or call back immediately. She is also living her life as a mother, spouse, and support system. 

Celebrate your victories—big and small. Put one foot in front of the other every day, and then repeat. You very much have control over what this will look like, but understand your surrogate is on your team. Her goal is to help you create or complete your family. 

Daniel Levine

Location : Waltham, MA

Occupation : Vice president of operations at a tech company

Child's age : 7 months

I had always wanted to be dad and to be a very involved parent. After a long-term relationship did not work out, I decided I would go it alone. This removed the worry that I could miss my chance to have children or end up making a bad decision and rushing a relationship (which could end divorce) to have children.

My surrogate is an extraordinary woman, and I am very lucky to have been matched with her, but I think the better question would be how I found my agency.

Surrogacy is certainly something you don’t want to cut corners on. I selected three different agencies, each considered one of the best. I interviewed each of them, and then I hired an independent surrogacy attorney that specialized in performing independent agency reviews, including the contracts. I had a great feeling about Circle Surrogacy , and my independent attorney agreed that Circle Surrogacy was the best [for me].

I was highly involved in the events leading up to the birth. But because of the COVID-19 pandemic and that it was a high risk pregnancy, I was in the waiting room while my daughter was delivered via C-Section.

That you have no idea when you start the journey what hurdles may be ahead—to some degree nobody does!

You have no idea when you start the journey what hurdles may be ahead—to some degree nobody does!

Robin and Sam Garcia

Ages : 43 and 40

Location : Marshfield, MA

Occupations : Accountant and artist (respectively)

Child's age : 2

To make a long story short, we had five years of failed fertility treatments.  We went through six IVF cycles, 12 transfers, and seven losses. We had three embryos left so we were faced with the decision of what gave us the best chance of success.

Through a very small local agency.

We were very involved as the surrogate lived 30 minutes away. We went to all the appointments and kept in touch with her daily.

For me [Robin], it was wondering if since you aren’t carrying the child (or if you used a donor and the child isn’t genetically yours) if you will feel the same love. The second the baby is there and in your arms, any and every question you had is gone.   

For Sam, the biggest misconception is that the child is genetically the surrogate's, meaning the surrogate's egg was used. Many surrogates are what is called a “gestational carrier” which means the couple using the surrogate has the embryos already and the surrogate is carrying the baby for them. 

Joseph and Juan Fobbs-Hernandez

Ages : 33 and 29

Location : Houston, TX

Occupations : Critical care nurse and emergency room administrator

Children's ages : 8 months

We explored many options when it came to having kids, but I think deep down we both wanted to try and have children that were genetically ours first.

Adoption was always and still is on the table, but I had heard so many horror stories regarding the process and placement. We both have friends that have successfully adopted, but there was a lot of struggle and heartbreak involved. Ultimately, we just didn't want to get our hopes up or have our hearts broken.

So, I did some research and came across an organization called "Men Having Babies" that created a network for gay men looking to have children. I attended one of their conferences in Austin, TX, and was pleased with all the information they provided. However, I was overwhelmed with all of the numbers and potential costs.

After months of deliberation, we decided to just pick a place based on success factors and set up and consultation with them. This led us to Houston Fertility Institute. The team there was super kind and compassionate. They ran through the process and quoted some costs to us and we were extremely relieved at how much more realistic and doable everything would be and that is what solidified our decision. 

I think we were just lucky and blessed to have caring people in our lives. We have been together for 11 years. Children have always been a topic of discussion, not just privately to each other but among our family and friends. We have always had a ton of female friends volunteering to "carry" for us if we ever decided to have children.

However, I [Joseph] was blessed with a twin sister, Jessica, who is selfless and compassionate. When she heard that we had actually scheduled the consultation and were going to start the process she stated, "Okay, let me know what is next and what I have to do." To which I replied, "What do you mean?"

That sparked a conversation and flashback to high school, shortly after I had just come out, when we had talked about us each wanting to have kids. She reminded me that she had already agreed years ago to help if and when I was ready.

I think her willingness to be a part of this journey made it extremely easy for us. Deep down inside, I don't think I would have wanted to go through this with a stranger if I didn't actually have to. Our surrogacy journey brought us closer than we already were. I could not have imagined doing it with anyone else.

My sister is very outspoken and made sure that we were a part of every single piece of the pregnancy. Our birth plan was a little complicated due to the COVID-19 pandemic, though. A lot of hospitals had changed their policies regarding the birthing process and who was allowed to be in the room or even visit.

I had gotten in touch with the director of women's services where our twins were to be born months prior to their birth. Our team was extremely accommodating. While surrogate pregnancies are becoming more common for LGBTQ+ individuals and others with reproductive complications, most hospitals do not have policies in place specifically addressing surrogate births.

Joseph Fobbs-Hernandez

After weeks of planning and talking to the staff, we came up with a plan that allowed both Juan and me to be present. Our twins were born via C-section, so I was in the operating room while Juan waited for the twins to be brought out.

At the time, the hospital's COVID-19 policy dictated only one person allowed to be present during the birth, which put us at a disadvantage—one of us would miss this birth. However, after weeks of planning and talking to the staff, we came up with a plan that allowed both Juan and me to be present.

Our twins were born via C-section, so I was in the operating room while Juan waited for the twins to be brought out. It was like this perfect dance. Everyone knew where to be and what to do. 

I believe one of the biggest misconceptions about surrogacy is genetics. Most people are just not familiar with the science. There isn't a need to be in tune with the process unless you're a healthcare provider working in this specialty or are actually involved from a patient perspective.  So, we get a lot questions like: Is your sister their mother? Who is the "real" dad?

As I mentioned before, my sister is very outspoken. She made sure everyone knew that she was their aunt and was just "helping out." She didn't want us to feel alienated from the pregnancy. Anytime someone had a question about the babies she would point them in our direction stating, "Ask their dads." 

As far as paternal genetics we opted not to know. We answer, "They are both our kids," and that tends to shut the conversation down. We both feel that it is important for others not to separate them based on who their biological dad is considering that they are both being raised in the same home by the same people.

We both feel that it is important for others not to separate them based on who their biological dad is considering that they are both being raised in the same home by the same people.

For the most part, people are respectful. However, I believe that going into this process you have to be prepared to educate others. It is just something that comes with the territory.

Chris and Joshua Metz

Ages : 33 and 34

Location : Alexandria, VA

We always knew we wanted kids, but never knew if it would be a realistic possibility. We took the "Maybe Baby" class offered by Rainbow Families in the DC area to learn as much as we could about all the options available for us to expand our family—adoption, surrogacy, etc. It helped us feel comfortable with what to expect and able to plan more realistically. Ultimately, we decided that surrogacy was the right choice for us and our family.

Our good friends recommended  Circle Surrogacy  to us. Circle helped match us with our surrogate with who we have developed an amazing, close relationship.

Our surrogacy journey happened during the pre-vaccine COVID-19 pandemic. Much of our journey occurred via Zoom. We were able to quarantine and visit our surrogate and her family once prior to birth. She and her husband were able to visit us once to meet our family as well.

When the time came we drove (overnight!) to Alabama just in time for the birth. We were able to be in the delivery room (a big deal given the pandemic!) to experience every second of our child being born. We are so grateful we were able to be right by our surrogate’s side to cheer her on and to be able to cut the cord and do skin-to-skin with our little one right after birth.

While we can’t speak for most people’s preconceived notions of what surrogacy is or isn’t, one thing we didn’t quite anticipate was how close we would be with our surrogate. We knew we wanted to form a relationship, but what grew out of an awkward first connection over a Zoom call was more than we could have ever hoped for. It may just be who we are as people, but it has been wonderful.

Birenbaum-Carmeli D, Montebruno P. Incidence of surrogacy in the USA and Israel and implications on women's health: a quantitative comparison.   J Assist Reprod Genet . 2019;36(12):2459-2469. doi:10.1007/s10815-019-01612-9

By Alyssa Sybertz Alyssa has been writing about health and wellness since 2013. Her work has appeared in print in publications like FIRST for Women, Woman's World, and Closer Weekly and online at places like TheHealthy.com, Allrecipes.com, and OnePeloton.com. She is the author of The OMAD Diet and has served as editor-in-chief for two magazines about intermittent fasting.

My Surrogacy Journey: Trista’s Story

We're thrilled that previous surrogate Trista is sharing thoughts from her surrogacy experience. Read on to see how the decision ultimately changed her life - and the life of the family she helped to build. 

Trista, a ConceiveAbilities Surrogate

About four years ago I started on a journey that would dramatically change my life: a journey to become a gestational surrogate . This was my journey to help a family grow by carrying their child for them, since they could not safely do so themselves.

To do this I had to conquer my intense fears and fight through countless injections. Although I started out terrified to even look at a needle, soon enough I was successfully giving myself intramuscular injections with a two-inch long needle every night. I took medications three times a day to control my hormones. I went to weekly and biweekly doctors appointments, sometimes driving 30 miles to do so. We suffered a miscarriage. After getting pregnant again with twins, I faced the loss of one baby and four weeks of strict bed rest. Seven months later, in April 2014, I went through a grueling labor that lasted over 18 hours and resulted in a cesarean section. Then I faced eight long weeks of recovery. I gave all that for a family I didn’t even know when I started.  I put my life, my other goals, and my family on hold.

And was it worth it? Absolutely.

You see, when all was said and done, this family’s life was changed forever. I helped bring them their own daughter that they had fought for for nearly 6 years. I helped bring their son a sister. I helped give their parents a granddaughter, their siblings a niece. They had done injections and hormones for years and years with no reward. They had been broken. They had faced loss. They had faced hopelessness. They had faced uncertainty and heartbreak over and over and over and kept on fighting together . I felt all their pain when I started and I wanted to fight for them too.

They were the real heroes here. I only played a small part.  I was only a blip on their life radar, but I was able to make a big impact. And they were able to make a big impact on me as well. On this journey I learned something about myself: I can . I can overcome my fears. I can face the impossible. I can help .

Our site uses cookies so that we can remember you and understand how you use our site. For information about how we use cookies, please read our Privacy Policy . By browsing our website, you consent to our use of cookies and other tracking technologies.

My Surrogacy Journey - The Podcast

My surrogacy journey - the podcast is the uk's number one surrogacy podcast. it's fun, educational and up lifting. if anyone can make you smile through this journey, it's these guys and their experts., latest episode.

my surrogacy journey review

14. S3 E14 ; The wonderful and heartfelt story of an adult born through surrogacy ft. Gee

More episodes, view all episodes.

my surrogacy journey review

13. S3E13: A Ukrainian Story ft. Senator Mary Seery Kearney, Sinead Gallagher, Ciara Merrigan and Cathy Wheatley

my surrogacy journey review

12. S3 E12 - What is MRKH and who can you talk to? Ft. Mr Ali Al Chami and Joanne, a mother via UK surrogacy

my surrogacy journey review

12. S3 E12; What is MRKH? Ft. Dr Ali Al Chami and Joanne, a mother via UK surrogacy

my surrogacy journey review

11. S3 E11; Known egg donation; Real stories and conversations ft. MSJ's Leanne Drewell and Debbie Evans

My Surrogacy Journey – Blog

Introducing New Foods to Fussy Eaters

Reading Time: 3 minutes Hi, I’m Holly, a Paediatric food consultant, Norland Nanny and Founder of Nanny Cooks!   I support and empower parents through the challenges of fussy eaters, using tried and tested…

my surrogacy journey review

What is an Independent Midwife and why might I want one?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Discover the Essence of Independent Midwifery with Zest: A Tailored Journey to Parenthood Welcoming a new life into the world is a profound experience, one that deserves personalised care…

my surrogacy journey review

Navigating Surrogacy: A Partner’s Perspective on Love, Challenges, and the Joy of Helping Others Build Families

Reading Time: 2 minutes Since Charlotte and I have been together I knew surrogacy was something she was interested in exploring. Eighteen months ago, she sat me down and told me she felt…

my surrogacy journey review

Reflecting on positive changes throughout 2023 at The Agora Clinic with Medical Director Carole Gilling-Smith

Reading Time: 5 minutes Article written by Dr Carole Gilling-Smith Reflecting on 2023 fills me with a great deal of emotion. All praise to my team of doctors, nurses, scientists, and admin staff…

my surrogacy journey review

A Guide to the Surrogacy Journey through a Clinic from Eligibility to Embryo Transfer

Reading Time: 4 minutes Becoming a surrogate is one of the most rewarding gifts a woman can give. Giving the chance to intended parents to hold their baby in their arms will be…

my surrogacy journey review

Taking on a challenge for change

Reading Time: 3 minutes My Surrogacy Journey Foundation launched in 2023 and we are excited to head into the new year with plans in place to grow The Foundation to create lasting change…

my surrogacy journey review

Government Update! A little update from Wes and Mike…

Reading Time: < 1 minute We wanted to update you all with regards to yesterday’s meeting at The Houses of Parliament that Wes and I attended related to the APPG Surrogacy Law Reform…

my surrogacy journey review

Navigating the Holiday Season: Coping Strategies for Fertility Patients

Reading Time: 3 minutes The holiday season is often synonymous with joy, celebration, and family gatherings. However, for individuals undergoing fertility treatment, this time of year can bring a unique set of emotional…

my surrogacy journey review

Financing solutions for Surrogacy!

Reading Time: 3 minutes Thinking about starting a family through surrogacy is an exciting and life changing decision. For many families and parents-to-be, a looming question at the start of the journey is…

my surrogacy journey review

Ho Ho No! Baby Talk: Tips for Avoiding Conversations about Having a Baby at Christmas

Reading Time: 2 minutes The holiday season is a time for joy, reflection, and celebration; however, for those on a surrogacy journey, it can also be a period of heightened emotions, expectations, and…

my surrogacy journey review

How parents can store stem cells from their child’s milk teeth!

Reading Time: 3 minutes Earlier this year we caught up with Amanda Williamson from Future Health Biobank who told us all about stem cells and cord blood banking. She’s back again, this time…

my surrogacy journey review

My Surrogacy Journey Foundation – what’s the vision?

Reading Time: 3 minutes When My Surrogacy Journey first began to support a new way of family building in 2017 the vision was very clear, we wanted to provide a service to people…

my surrogacy journey review

UK’s first ever Womb Transplant – Lister embryo transfer

Reading Time: 3 minutes The first womb transplant has been performed in the UK after more than twenty-five years of research and planning. This is a groundbreaking treatment which will give the life-changing…

my surrogacy journey review

What is the Greece Surrogacy Scandal?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Greece, a country previously known for its liberal stance on commercial surrogacy for international clients has sadly been engulfed in a surrogacy scandal. As the story broke, reports suggest…

my surrogacy journey review

Surrogacy in Mexico City – the legal landscape

Reading Time: 3 minutes Mexico is a federated state, which means surrogacy legislation is not a simple issue. However, it is important to know that surrogacy – altruistic or commercial- is not prohibited…

my surrogacy journey review

Osbornes is celebrating 50 years since its inception

Reading Time: 4 minutes Naomi Angell tells us about her time at Osbornes Law 2023 is an auspicious year both for me and for the law firm, Osbornes Law, where I have worked…

my surrogacy journey review

The importance of immigration advice when considering international surrogacy

Reading Time: 3 minutes When undertaking an international surrogacy, immigration may play a crucial role in returning to the UK with your baby. That said, it may be one of your last considerations…

my surrogacy journey review

Who are Utah Fertility Center and Nevada Fertility Center?

Reading Time: 3 minutes At the Utah Fertility Center and Nevada Fertility Center we have what you need to fulfill your greatest wish of becoming a parent. Many people need egg donors and…

my surrogacy journey review

Who needs Surrogacy?

Reading Time: 2 minutes At CRGH, everything we do is underpinned by our founding principle that everyone should have the opportunity to start a family of their own, without exception. Delivering on that…

my surrogacy journey review

Gay Family Building over 25 Years – The Changes I’ve Seen: How has family building for the LGBTQ+ community evolved?

Reading Time: 4 minutes We caught up with Guy Ringler MD of California Fertility Partners in Los Angeles to talk about the changing landscape of family building and how he has witnessed continued…

my surrogacy journey review

Supporting Fertility Patients: Wellbeing in the Workplace

Reading Time: 4 minutes Tracey Sainsbury, Fertility Counsellor, Lister Fertility Clinic Navigating the emotional and physical journey of fertility treatment is a significant challenge for individuals and couples alike. This journey to parenthood…

my surrogacy journey review

My Surrogacy Journey – meet our incredible coordination team!

Reading Time: 4 minutes At My Surrogacy Journey we believe a personal approach is key to making everyone feel welcome and included. As much as we aim to give you all the technical…

my surrogacy journey review

SKO Law – our thoughts on the latest Law reform

Reading Time: 6 minutes Are we one step closer to the new surrogacy law in the UK? The much anticipated, five years in the making joint Report of the Law Commission of England…

my surrogacy journey review

Seven factors when considering fresh versus frozen eggs

Reading Time: 4 minutes 1. Fresh eggs have better success rates than frozen eggs A 2020 study which analysed 36,925 IVF cycles found that fresh eggs have better success rates than frozen eggs:…

my surrogacy journey review

Equitable Fertility Treatment; gaps and recent wins for the LGBTQIA+ Community

Reading Time: 5 minutes The good news is that there is change in the air, but I have my reservations and, in my view, the current NHS approach to equality and diversity when…

my surrogacy journey review

Shelly’s story – An insight into family building within the LGBTQIA community

Reading Time: 4 minutes Spring Fertility is a world class fertility centre who puts patient needs first. Spring Fertility is committed to helping everyone create the family of their dreams and is proud…

my surrogacy journey review

What is allyship and how can law firms help LGBTQIA people?

Reading Time: 4 minutes I have always found it difficult to explain what an ally is and why I believe I am one. Some of the definitions I have come across include “unconditional…

my surrogacy journey review

Introducing CRGH City – the newest member of the CRGH Family

Reading Time: 3 minutes In January 2023 CRGH welcomed a new clinic to the group – CRGH City. This exciting expansion aims to provide even more patients with the opportunity to access convenient,…

my surrogacy journey review

Dr Gilling-Smith’s viewpoint on the final draft bill

Reading Time: 3 minutes As the Medical Director and HFEA Person Responsible of an IVF clinic which sees many intended parents (IPs) and surrogates (The Agora Clinic in Brighton), I am confident that…

my surrogacy journey review

What is the future of UK Surrogacy now we have the final draft bill?

Reading Time: 7 minutes Like most reading this article, this week’s news of the final draft bill being received was a huge occasion. Let’s face it, we’ve been waiting long enough. If you…

my surrogacy journey review

Building your family with donor eggs – The Apricity way

Reading Time: 2 minutes Knowing where to start with finding an egg donor can be an overwhelming challenge! There’s lots of information online, from whether fresh or frozen eggs are better, to understanding…

my surrogacy journey review

Introducing our Clinical Lead – Debbie Evans

Reading Time: 2 minutes Debbie Evans RGN Clinical Lead and Fertility Nurse Consultant I started my career in nursing in 1982 and have been fortunate to be a part of, and witness many…

my surrogacy journey review

Exploring the amazing life-saving properties of stem cells and how you can store them – Future Health

Reading Time: 3 minutes As part of our relationship with Future Health Biobank, we’re delving into the world of stem cell banking to discover the options for parents and intended parents. Firstly, what…

my surrogacy journey review

Why choose Mishcon de Reya’s Surrogacy & Modern Family’s Group?

Reading Time: 2 minutes You might know Mishcon de Reya for having represented Princess Diana in her divorce or Gina Miller in her unanimous Supreme Court success against Boris Johnson’s decision to prorogue…

my surrogacy journey review

Manchester Fertility Offers Advice to the Surrogacy Community via the ‘My Surrogacy Journey’ Directory

Reading Time: 3 minutes Manchester Fertility is offering surrogacy advice and support to gay, bi, queer and trans men, helping them to navigate their way through their surrogacy journey, as the latest UK…

my surrogacy journey review

The Summary of Report – Building Families Through Surrogacy

Reading Time: 4 minutes On the 29th March 2023, the Law Commission and the Scottish Law Commission revealed their Summary of Report. A hugely anticipated piece of work that involved a period of…

my surrogacy journey review

What is a Registered Surrogacy Organisation?

Reading Time: 2 minutes On the 29th March the Law Commission and the Scottish Law Commission revealed their Full Report, announcing their recommendations for Government. My Surrogacy Journey have a copy of the…

my surrogacy journey review

Meet the Surrogacy Team beside the seaside!

Reading Time: 4 minutes The ethos of The Agora Clinic is to ensure all individuals and couples, whatever their gender, sexual orientation or ethnicity are celebrated, educated and professionally supported throughout their parenting…

my surrogacy journey review

¡Vamos a México!

Reading Time: 5 minutes In December My Surrogacy Journey launched our latest membership, a fully inclusive pathway (with Parental Order on return) in Mexico City. Please also note; Surrogacy in Mexico City is…

my surrogacy journey review

First census estimates on gender identity and sexual orientation

Reading Time: 3 minutes You may even remember my little award from Census 2021 as I was awarded one of the 21 Purple Plaques to honour Census 21 Heroes; UK people that have…

my surrogacy journey review

California Dreamin’ (of regulating surrogacy agencies)

Reading Time: 6 minutes Lilly Frost and her international surrogacy scheme On 10 July 2022, the LA Times broke the story of Lilly Frost and her international surrogacy scheme. Unlike other surrogacy agencies,…

my surrogacy journey review

Men’s Health Month – Your swimmers?

Reading Time: 3 minutes To celebrate Men’s Health month we approached one of My Surrogacy Journey’s experts, to tell us more about Sperm, and how to look after it. Over to you Sam!…

It’s, like, against the rules of feminism!

Reading Time: 5 minutes Welcome to another guest blog edition written by friend of My Surrogacy Journey, Zaina Mahmoud, Researcher from London Womens Clinic. This week, last week we were in Cuba, this…

my surrogacy journey review

I like my families like I like my cigars, Cuban!

Reading Time: 4 minutes Welcome to another guest blog from our specialist guest writer Zaina Mahmoud, Researcher at London Womens Clinic. An interesting viewpoint on a new family code that could Same sex…

my surrogacy journey review

Hurry, grab your FREE ticket to this years Modern Family Show.

Reading Time: 2 minutes On September 10th 2022, The Modern Family Show returns to London following an exceptional launch at its first event in 2021. We have a limited number of tickets to…

my surrogacy journey review

My Surrogacy Journey Online Portal – have you logged in lately?

Reading Time: 2 minutes We pride ourselves on our Portal and the services it provides to our members. Membership Experience Manager Kelly Dwyer talks us through some important changes and updates so it…

my surrogacy journey review

Can we forget about Covid or is it still relevant in the surrogacy journey?

Reading Time: 4 minutes Even though masks are no longer mandatory and enforced isolation a thing of the past, Covid remains ever present. But how does that affect the world of reproductive medicine?…

my surrogacy journey review

Is this the future of creating a more educated society? The Surrogacy Network seem to think so

Reading Time: 3 minutes Since launching My Surrogacy Journey in February 2021 it’s co-founders Michael and Wes Johnson-Ellis continue to work hard to educate more people about UK surrogacy. A year on and…

my surrogacy journey review

The land of the free*: where potential life is more protected than actual life

Reading Time: 3 minutes *subject to certain conditions, see 1776 Constitution. Roe v. Wade Eight weeks after the draft majority opinion of the US Supreme Court (SCOTUS) on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization was…

my surrogacy journey review

The GENNET City Fertility Team

Reading Time: 3 minutes Dr Malini Uppal Dr Malini Uppal has over 20 years of experience working in fertility and assisted reproduction. She is the Medical Director at GENNET City Fertility and the…

my surrogacy journey review

Why dental pulp stem cell banking is vital?

Reading Time: 2 minutes My Surrogacy Journey® is committed to changing the landscape of surrogacy support. Our latest collaboration is with Future Health Biobank sets us apart from others in this space. For…

my surrogacy journey review

When a ‘mother’ is not a ‘mother’

Reading Time: 3 minutes Written by Zaina Mahmoud exclusively for My Surrogacy Journey®. When gender-neutral and inclusive guidelines are recommended or introduced, there is a backlash from people wanting to hold onto traditional…

my surrogacy journey review

The impact of Roe v. Wade for US surrogacy?

Reading Time: 4 minutes One of the many benefits about My Surrogacy Journey is the wealth of knowledge our professional network brings to our members and the general public. In this guest blog,…

my surrogacy journey review

Surrogacy and the Legal Considerations

Reading Time: 4 minutes What Are My Surrogacy Options at Home and Abroad? When you’re considering surrogacy,  as an intended parent, you may be weighing your options both at home and overseas. We…

my surrogacy journey review

What is your superpower?

Reading Time: 4 minutes This morning, I was watching After Life season 3 on Netflix; in episode 6 Tony talks to Matt about the death of Lisa – no spoilers here – don’t…

my surrogacy journey review

Surrogacy in Canada, your options?

Reading Time: 6 minutes You’ve come to the world of surrogacy to build your family. For many years, parents across the world have come to Canada to find a surrogate to help build…

my surrogacy journey review

An Attitude of Gratitude

Reading Time: 3 minutes The G-SPOT That sweet spot where it’s all happening. Where it’s about giving and receiving. The more you give, the more you get. Some might even call it a…

my surrogacy journey review

What’s in store for International Surrogacy?

Reading Time: 3 minutes After two years of COVID-19, lockdowns, quarantines and OMICRON, for intended parent(s) wishing to create their family via IVF and international surrogacy it has been an extraordinarily stressful and…

my surrogacy journey review

What are the key stages of the Surrogacy process?

Reading Time: 3 minutes For those considering fertility treatment, especially via surrogacy, it’s important to understand the timelines involved so you can plan ahead. By understanding each step it becomes easier to see…

my surrogacy journey review

Mindful Fertility Surrogacy Support Packs

Reading Time: 2 minutes Our Mindful Fertility Surrogacy Support Packs are here to bring calm and confidence to your journey. The packs give and show you simple tools that can make a massive…

my surrogacy journey review

Awkward Questions And Navigating The Christmas Holidays During Fertility Treatment

Reading Time: 3 minutes As life gradually begins to get back to normal, after a very strange twenty months or so, your attention may be turning to Christmas and planning time with extended…

my surrogacy journey review

Merry Christmas and Happy 2022; from us!

Reading Time: 2 minutes How is it December already? We wanted to say a huge thank you to each and everyone one of you who have signed up as members, partners or have…

Sorry – but we need to talk about the C word!

Reading Time: 2 minutes Written by Francesca Steyn; Co-Founder, Fertility Nurse and Clinical Lead. With so much information about coronavirus vaccines – it can be very tricky to decide whether the booster vaccine…

my surrogacy journey review

Sperm Facts and What They Mean for Your Health

Reading Time: 3 minutes Winter is usually a time for indulgence, Christmas Parties, work drinks and more than our fair share of fatty foods and treats. But how can this impact your sperm…

my surrogacy journey review

Family-forming support through Carrot Fertility

Reading Time: < 1 minute My Surrogacy Journey recently partnered with Carrot Fertility to make it easier for Carrot members to access our expert services. Carrot Fertility is the leading global fertility benefits…

US Airport Image

US Travel reopens to Intended Parents relief

Reading Time: 2 minutes Written by Anna Buxton, IP Coordinator and Advisory Board Member. Surrogacy in the US offers a clear and structured way to build a family with predictable time frames, world…

my surrogacy journey review

Are you LGBTQ+ and want a family?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Creating a family for the LGBTQ+ community has never looked so promising. The Modern Family Show 2021 arrives in London on the 18th September and is the creation of…

my surrogacy journey review

Shipping Sperm for Hybrid Surrogacy; we’ve got this!

Reading Time: 6 minutes Since the HFEA regulations changed allowing patients in the UK to ship their sperm, eggs and embryos Internationally there has been an increase in ‘Hybrid International Surrogacy’. This may…

my surrogacy journey review

Changing the narrative on Modern Parenting

Reading Time: 6 minutes With 50% of our Intended Parent Membership from the LGBTQ community, and Brighton Pride 2019 a distant memory, we wanted a blog that would set the tone of what…

my surrogacy journey review

Surrogacy trends for UK nationals; our exclusive findings

Reading Time: 8 minutes My Surrogacy Journey®, has collaborated with researcher Dr Kirsty Horsey, Reader in Law at the University of Kent, with a view to sharing findings from two fascinating sets of…

my surrogacy journey review

Our Founders and their Surrogacy Journey

Reading Time: 11 minutes Trigger warning; Contains information on Infertility, Birth and IVF Failure I’m Michael and I’m married to Wes. We met by complete chance in June 2012 at Birmingham Pride no…

my surrogacy journey review

The Story Behind the ReProductive Revolution

Reading Time: 3 minutes In an age of information, many of us are opting for choice over chance, yet when it comes to our reproductive health and fertility, the lack of information and…

my surrogacy journey review

Leading the way in Surrogacy, Hertfordshire’s finest

Reading Time: 3 minutes On the edge of leafy Hertfordshire, next to the Small River Lea in beautiful green surroundings, you’ll find a hidden treasure with a heart of gold. The unassuming Herts…

my surrogacy journey review

Behind the creation of My Surrogacy Journey®

Reading Time: 6 minutes Whilst I’m writing this, Wes is on his 5th Zoom call of the day, I’m also busy finalising our Newsletter (which you’re reading – so thank you!) and I’ve…

my surrogacy journey review

The Rise of a Single Parent Surrogacy Journey

Reading Time: 2 minutes Written by Andrew Spearman & Katherine Martyn “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t entertain the idea of me being a dad. My whole life’s been pointing to…

my surrogacy journey review

Mini First Aid; a first for Surrogacy support

Reading Time: 3 minutes Mini First Aid was set up in 2014 with the aim of offering quality baby and child first aid classes to parents and carers. Initially operating from her kitchen…

my surrogacy journey review

The all important Fertility Mentor

Reading Time: 2 minutes Written by Kelly DaSilva I’m Kelly and I’m a Fertility Support Expert, writer, speaker and Founder of The Dovecoat; Childress Support Organisation. Inspired by my own personal experience of…

my surrogacy journey review

Carrying my best friends baby.

Reading Time: 4 minutes Written by Emilana It was December 2014, and my best friend Sophie and her husband Jack came over to our house with our Christmas card. Inside was a scan…

my surrogacy journey review

How diverse is UK fertility treatment?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Written by Francesca Steyn, Co-founder, Fertility Nurse & Clinical Lead This month the HFEA (the UK’s fertility regulator) released a report looking into ethnic diversity and fertility treatment carried…

my surrogacy journey review

The need for legal advice

Reading Time: 3 minutes Written by Bev Jones, JMW Law. Before I begin, I feel I must start this article with a disclaimer. Yes, I am a lawyer and I know what you…

my surrogacy journey review

Choosing the right surrogacy agency for your journey

Reading Time: 5 minutes There is a truth universally acknowledged that surrogacy can be an overwhelming experience – emotionally, logistically, and financially. There are many reasons why people choose surrogacy to start or…

my surrogacy journey review

What My Surrogacy Journey Taught Me

N ow a mom to 3, one hopeful parent's surrogacy journey taught her something all of us need to learn: It's okay to give yourself some grace.

"What if?" That used to be my mantra, an open door to possibilities, discoveries and adventure. A romantic, despite the beat down of cynicism my beloved NYC had instilled in me during my 15-year tenure there, my thoughts in resting state were some form of: how do I make the impossible possible today? 

This mentality may have kept me afloat past multiple failed embryo transfers and back-to-back rounds of IVF . Heck, it may be the reason that I didn't blink at the thought of using a gestational carrier to fulfill that ever-common dream of growing a family —not including the cost of fertility treatment . I certainly blinked, gawked and had to take a seat at the price tag, which can range from the highest of high five figures to well into the six, which is where we ended up. 

"Surrogacy, or in our case, gestational carriership, was our last play. It was 4th quarter, with 17 seconds left, and we felt we just had to go for it. My husband and I  prepared ourselves with the understanding that there were stringent laws. At the time of our contract, many states made it difficult for you to have your own name on the birth certificate. In fact, in many states we would have been in a position to adopt our own flesh and blood."

Surrogacy, or in our case, gestational carriership, was our last play. It was 4th quarter, with 17 seconds left, and we felt we just had to go for it. My husband, Chirag, and I prepared ourselves with the understanding that there were stringent laws. At the time of our contract, many states made it difficult for you to have your own name on the birth certificate. In fact, in many states we would have been in a position to adopt our own flesh and blood.

While our parents were very supportive—once we talked them out of the carrier needing to be South Asian, or even vegetarian, like our families are—neither they nor we were comfortable with having to adopt our own biological children. The legalities and loopholes made us nervous about putting that much faith into this very odd financial transaction. We understood that between legalities and culture, we were not likely to match with a carrier anywhere near where we lived. And the surrogacy agency made it very clear that this could take a while.

Related: Sharing the 'Deep Details' of IVF Makes the Road Easier to Navigate

"What if?" now became a cause of anxiety. And an irritating one at that. The earworm of all earworms: 

What if we never match with a carrier? 

What if she lives across the country? 

What if an embryo splits and the carrier gets pregnant with triplets, and she doesn't want to reduce? What if we don't want to reduce? 

What if the carrier's life is at stake? 

What if the embryos don't implant at all? 

What if we get conned out of our money? 

What if our apartment doesn't sell and we can't cover the costs?

The amount of "What if" ground we covered before matching with a carrier was impressive. By worrying about it, I felt hyper-aware, and over-prepared. Like nothing could come at me that I could not catch. 

In early January of the following year, we signed with the surrogacy agency and forked over nearly $20,000 for their support to help us find, match with, and work out a legal contract for a gestational carrier. That money would be lost in the ether if we didn’t find a match within a year. (They did offer a slightly pricier two-year contract, but with graduate school tuition also looming over my head, I took the cheaper option.)

A few months after signing with the agency, we were contracting one of their carriers to do what my body could not. Grow our children. If the idea of hiring a practical stranger to do this wasn’t frightening enough, the contract you sign with the surrogate that seems like the size of The Deathly Hallows and makes you liable for her life will have you hiding under the covers. At least it did me, as I sobbed in my bed initialing every numbered statement or page. Something else came with the fear, though. It was freedom. It was the passing of this responsibility onto someone else’s body.

A few weeks after that, the Universe threw us the first “what if” that I hadn't thought of: What if I get pregnant after we hire a surrogate? Because sure enough, there was a positive pregnancy test sitting in my garbage can that I was too scared to acknowledge. How do we tell the surrogate? Holy crap, what if she gets pregnant with both embryos we had transferred? Are we going to have non-triplet triplets? Three kids was the plan! But not all at once!

Before we could tell Mia*—our sweet, loving carrier—that we were pregnant, we received a call from her, in tears. Our embryos didn't stick. We told Mia that the collective we may not be pregnant—but it turns out we, Chirag and I, were. Her tears of disappointment quickly turned to those of joy and then of confusion. Now what?

With anxiety-what-ifs infiltrating my brain, I impulsively asked her to stay on contract with us. We knew she was still a part of growing our family; I just wasn't sure how. We needed to hold on to her. This, of course, came with a fee out of respect for her time. 

The next unexplored "what if" that came into play was that space between miscarriage and viability. The gray area I never thought much about. That was, until I went into extreme preterm labor and gave birth, taking our newborn directly to the NICU, and my OB told us to start planning my daughter's funeral. We’d been praying for her for three years, yet we’d only had her for three days—and he wanted us to prepare for goodbye? She had been born septic. My complaints of pain had gone unheard and untreated, and she arrived in the world at 25 weeks gestation, a micro-preemie weighing 1.5 lbs. and 13 inches long. 

"What if?" went from an anxiety-inducing irritant to a dark force that was detrimental to my mental health. 

What if we lose her? 

What if I could have just held on a little while longer? 

What if they could have figured out where my pain was coming from? 

What if I'd gotten a cerclage sooner?

Despite those questions, we had zero interest in planning any funerals. Our focus was decidedly to love and fight for our daughter for as long as we were allowed to. But the reality was that the best-case scenario would likely leave us with a child with significant delays, if not worse. What if she had a home team to cheer her on, to push her forward? Siblings. She needed healthy, happy siblings. 

We gave our carrier the green light to start a cycle for us. I was in the NICU watching our daughter fight for her life while Mia was having two more embryos transferred. A boy and a girl, with the hopes at least one would take.

And then, another what if: Shortly after the transfer, I lost my job. As a contractor, I had few rights to fight the termination—and as a NICU parent, I had even less energy for it. Mia was pregnant with our twins at that point, and her enthusiasm for her journey with us warmed me despite the anger I housed. Despite the fear. 

The last twisted "what if" that came to visit us was: What if Mia goes into extreme preterm labor, too? While we had broached the topic with her doctor, who didn't think it was likely. After all, we had moved forward with an outsourced uterus for the chance at a healthier pregnancy and delivery.

But Mia went into labor at 25 weeks and was hemorrhaging so badly that she couldn't make it to the hospital with her birth plan and high-quality NICU. Instead, she landed at a bare-bones hospital. They couldn't stop the labor, so like their "big" sister, my son and daughter arrived at approximately 1.5 pounds.

"There is an enormous amount of self-blame that comes with preterm labor. I felt an overwhelming need to approach Mia’s experience with grace. To not place blame. To not live in (constant) anger. But I had to learn to let it go."

The Universe may have had a plan after all. Not one that I'm fond of to this day, but a plan nonetheless. 

Perhaps I went through extreme preterm labor to understand this situation with much more grace than I would have before. That was the only explanation. Without my own experience, I would not have been able to fathom the level of terror, feeling of failure, or witnessing of miracles that were about to happen.

"Thank you for not being mad at me," Mia had said as we stood by the twins' isolettes. All I could do was hug her, grateful to be there for her. "But look," she continued. "You have your three babies."

What if we get everything we wish for in the most unexpected way imaginable?

There is an enormous amount of self-blame that comes with preterm labor. I felt an overwhelming need to approach Mia’s experience with grace. To not place blame. To not live in (constant) anger. But I had to learn to let it go. Because I didn’t want either of us to miss the magic that was about to occur. And in giving Mia grace, I asked myself the most important “What If.” 

What if I afforded myself the same grace I afforded her? No, Chirag and I did not plan our early parenting years to include two traumatic births, 3 micro-preemies, and up to 15 therapies a week. But as we watch our now 6-year-old daughter and 5-year-old twins daily challenging themselves and the odds, with grace, we can witness the true alchemy of love and science.

*Name has been changed to protect her identity.

Related: What Are the Costs of a Multiple Pregnancy and Birth?

For more Parents news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on Parents .

GETTY IMAGES

Episode Details

What's ahead for season 2.

We're excited to tell you about Season 2 of My Surrogacy Journey, the podcast! Proudly sponsored by Herts & Essex Fertility Centre.

It's been a while since the end of Season 1 but Michael and Wes are back soon with some amazing guests and this trailer gives you an exclusive sneak peak of what's to come! From surrogate stories, international surrogacy tips and tricks, a Mexico City special and even an episode on MRKH plus much more we're convinced you'll love this season more than our first.

Buckle up, launching 31st July.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More from My Surrogacy Journey - The Podcast

my surrogacy journey review

  • Become a Surrogate
  • Become a Parent
  • Service Costs
  • Surrogacy Timeline
  • Requirements
  • Compensation
  • Referral Program
  • Team Golden
  • Surrogacy Talk™
  • Surrogacy 101
  • Profile Login
  • 800.824.4428

The Surrogacy Journey Overview

March 15, 2023 by Frank Golden

“Where do I start?” This is a question I often get asked during consultations with Intended Parents. It is a very important question and, depending on who you ask, will come with a variety of answers. If you are speaking with a fertility expert, they might recommend you start with their clinic. An attorney might suggest you begin with legal. An agency might tell you to start with them. But I am going to give you the only correct answer and then dive into the surrogacy journey overview where I will break down what every step of your surrogacy journey will look like if you choose to work with us here at Golden.

First things first: where you should start. The only correct answer for where you should start is to stop and put a budget together. You might be skeptical about why an agency director is not telling you to start with them. But don’t worry, there is no catch. I have gone through the process of becoming an Intended Parent and I know how overwhelming it can be. As you consider entering into your journey, you deserve to be as informed about the process as possible. Let me tell you why the best thing you can do for your journey at the start is to slow down and create a budget.

First, let’s look at why you should not start with a fertility clinic. If you are a couple who needs to create embryos for their surrogacy journey, you may run into a situation where your first egg yield or embryo creation process is not successful. This is not uncommon, and is an event couples should be prepared for. However, if you started your journey at a fertility clinic, this situation can be problematic. Surrogacy journeys can be expensive, and if you find yourself in a situation where you need to find a new donor or do a secondary retrieval, these unexpected incidentals can negatively impact your ability to find an agency you can afford. Or, if you have already found an agency at this point and have paid the agency fee, you may find that you can no longer afford to create additional embryos. These may be hypothetical situations, but there are real cases where couples run into unexpected circumstances that are detrimental to their journeys. For this reason, I tell couples to stop and determine a budget before doing anything. With a proper budget you will find that you can weather any storm, regardless of which stage of the journey you are on. Whether it be embryo creation or the Surrogate search, you will be able to navigate that stage in a way that produces the best outcome (an adorable baby and money left over to give them a sibling).

Once you have put your budget together, I recommend you find a surrogacy agency (you know, like Golden😉). A reputable surrogacy agency will be able to go through the process with you and determine service providers you will need on your journey that fall within your budget. If you are a couple who needs to create embryos for their surrogacy journey, Golden would send out a referral for you to visit with a fertility center. We would do this with three to four fertility centers because we want you to select a doctor and clinic you trust, and we want you to validate that they meet your budgetary requirements. Now that we determined you should start with an agency following the creation of your budget, I am going to provide an overview of the next steps on your surrogacy journey.

Agency Documents

Coming from the side of the agency, the first thing we will do is send out all our agency documentation. These would include retainer agreement and background checks. The fun begins after this step!

Intended Parent Profile and Orientation

Next, you will complete your Intended Parent profile and we will schedule your orientation call. This is a time for you to tell us who you are in an effort for us to get to know you better and find you the perfect match.

Embryo Creation Phase

Following this step, you will be working with your fertility clinic. The goal for this stage is to have your embryos ready to go by the time your agency finds a match. If you have embryos that are created, tested, and cryogenically preserved at the time of matching, you can move right into that stage. If you were an Intended Parent who already have cryogenically preserved embryos, that is great! All that is left to do is sit back, relax, and let us find your match.

Matching Phase

The matching process is arguably the most important step on your surrogacy journey. It is also one of the most stressful steps. From an agency standpoint, we do our best to alleviate any additional stress.

“Is this person qualified?”

“Has she been vetted?”

When you are working with Golden, these are things you do not need to worry about. We pre-screen all of our Surrogates in advance so that when you hop on your match call, you can rest easy knowing she is qualified and vetted. In fact, we send her information to your Reproductive Endocrinologist for preliminary approval. This all happens before you even see her profile. At Golden, we want you to focus on getting to know your potential match without having to worry about the other details.

Match Confrence

If you are interested in pursuing her as a potential match after seeing her profile, we will schedule a match conference. This is a time where Intended Parents and Surrogates get to meet under the supervision of the agency’s care team. To prepare you for the match conference, we will send you a match call guide and do a preparatory call. We do this to make sure you are fully aware of what to expect, prepare potential questions, and alleviate any concerns or nerves you feel going into the call.

Post-Match Screenings

Once there is an official match and both Intended Parents and Surrogate agree to move forward, the next step would be for your Surrogate to visit your clinic. This is the first opportunity for her to meet with your Reproductive Endocrinologist. They can conduct all additional screenings, such as a saline ultrasound and bloodwork. Once your Surrogate receives the seal of approval from your clinic, we are ready to jump into legal.

Legal Phase

Golden will refer you to an independent attorney that is not affiliated with our agency. We do this because it is best practice that the attorney representing you and your Surrogate come from the state your Surrogate lives and gives birth in. Golden has a network of the absolute best professionals in the industry. These reproductive law experts are familiar with all the family-building statutes surrounding an agreement in their states. During this stage Golden will facilitate helping you attain legal counsel and will review the first draft with you to ensure that the contract coincides with all the documentation you signed here at the agency. We also supervise all legal components to make certain you are having a smooth legal experience from beginning to contract finalization. Legal typically takes somewhere between 4-8 weeks. The exact amount of time legal will take depends on a variety of factors such as your attorney’s availability or the time of year. Trust us when we say that we are doing everything we can to move you through this stage in an expeditious manner. Once we have a finalized contract, your attorney is going to send over a document to your clinic called, “the legal letter of clearance.” This letter essentially lets the doctors know that there is a proper legal document in place and that the Surrogate is authorized to begin medical procedures.

Monitoring Appointments

It is at this point that your clinic will put together a medical calendar for your Surrogate that corresponds to her cycle and scheduling. This is protocol and typically takes 15-20 days with a combination of medication and monitoring appointments. During monitoring appointments, your clinic is checking hormone levels as well as conducting ultrasounds on a remote basis and transmitting that data back to the clinic. If the cycle goes well, following the 15-20 days you will receive a tentative embryo transfer date.

Embryo Transfer

This is a momentous time in your surrogacy journey. I always recommend Intended Parents attend this appointment even if they are not local to the clinic. This is essentially the day of conception, and we want you there to celebrate this moment with your Surrogate. If your embryo transfer is a success that means that your Surrogate is officially pregnant! CONGRATULATIONS!

For the rest of your journey, your care team is monitoring your Surrogate by making sure she is attending her OB appointments and checking in on her. A very important component of the surrogacy journey is communication between you and your Surrogate. To ensure we have a cohesive relationship, your care team will conduct regularly scheduled “check-ins.” This is a time to chat with your Surrogate and receive status updates. If there is a time you need help initiating dialogue with your Surrogate, that is what Golden is there for. We exist to be by your side every single step of the way.

And there you have it! These are some of the key steps when going through a surrogacy journey with us here at Golden Surrogacy. As you can see, the surrogacy journey comes with ups and downs and the best thing you can do to prepare at the start is to create a budget. Once you have your budget, reach out to us here at Golden and you will have a team of experienced professionals to guide you through the downs and cheer alongside you during the ups. While creating a family can be a long journey, it is a journey that no one should do alone, and an experience that everyone deserves.

Blog Search

my surrogacy journey review

Intended Parents

Social media.

  • Massachusetts
  • Pennsylvania

Intended Parent Requirements

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse the site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Cookie and Privacy Settings

We may request cookies to be set on your device. We use cookies to let us know when you visit our websites, how you interact with us, to enrich your user experience, and to customize your relationship with our website.

Click on the different category headings to find out more. You can also change some of your preferences. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer.

These cookies are strictly necessary to provide you with services available through our website and to use some of its features.

Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, refusing them will have impact how our site functions. You always can block or delete cookies by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. But this will always prompt you to accept/refuse cookies when revisiting our site.

We fully respect if you want to refuse cookies but to avoid asking you again and again kindly allow us to store a cookie for that. You are free to opt out any time or opt in for other cookies to get a better experience. If you refuse cookies we will remove all set cookies in our domain.

We provide you with a list of stored cookies on your computer in our domain so you can check what we stored. Due to security reasons we are not able to show or modify cookies from other domains. You can check these in your browser security settings.

We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. Changes will take effect once you reload the page.

Google Webfont Settings:

Google Map Settings:

Google reCaptcha Settings:

Vimeo and Youtube video embeds:

You can read about our cookies and privacy settings in detail on our Privacy Policy Page.

my surrogacy journey review

Smartsurrogacy   Reviews

In the Pregnancy Care Center category

Visit this website

Company activity See all

Your profile picture

Write a review

Reviews 4.8.

Most relevant

Smart Surrogacy is a really good…

Smart Surrogacy is a really good agency. They take care of you all through the journey . Amber is the best to work with!

Date of experience : February 21, 2024

Decided to come here to become a Surrogate and created a friendship. Love working with Amber. She has been amazing though my whole prosses. She has been there to answer every call and any questions I had through my prosses. Getting matched was quick. I would recommend this agency and Amber to anyone!!

Date of experience : January 31, 2024

Great Experience …

My surrogacy journey has been extremely great. I want to especially thank Amber for being such an amazing and caring person though out my journey. Even after my surrogacy journey she reached out to make sure I was doing well. I highly recommended smart surrogacy they are very professional and care deeply about your wellness.

Date of experience : October 24, 2023

BEST SURROGATE AGENCY

l have met Amber last year and I admire her work etiquette. It has been a journey working with her. There were ups and downs during the process but Amber always saves the day! When you have questions and concerns, she will provide you answers. She was literally my cheering squad, so I can always move forward with this journey. You will never regret working with this agency especially with Amber!

Date of experience : September 05, 2023

This agency is so awesome!

This agency is amazing! I love how Amber understands me and answer all of my questions and concerns. I'm a first time surrogate and so far my journey is going great! I would recommend this agency to anyone who asks me what agency I'm doing my surrogacy journey with! Thank you Amber for everything that you are doing for me and my intended parents ❤️❤️

Date of experience : July 06, 2023

Smart Surrogacy was extraordinarily…

Smart Surrogacy was extraordinarily helpful in my journey. Amber was a sincere pleasure to work with, taking into account my preferences and situation to find the best surrogate fit for my family. After five long years of struggling, I would never have believed it would have positively ended with the birth of my baby girl. Please rest assured that this agency will take care of you and provide the best service to help you reach your baby goals

Date of experience : March 16, 2023

1st GC journey!

My husband & I are in the process of our first surrogacy journey. We were referred to Smart Surrogacy by a friend. I am so glad I listened & chose this agency! Amber has been wonderful through the entire process! She answers all my questions & keeps me up to date with what is going on behind the scenes. We have worked together on weekends & holidays. She is so sweet, caring, & timely! I’m excited to move forward with our IP’s & Smart Surrogacy! I wouldn't hesitate to recommend them or do another journey with them!

Date of experience : May 13, 2021

So excited to be on this journey with…

So excited to be on this journey with the best team! It has been a great experience working with the family Smart Surrogacy matched me with and I will definitely do another journey with the agency! Amber is my go to for anything and Everything.

Date of experience : October 14, 2023

I really loved working with Smart…

I really loved working with Smart Surrogacy because they have surrogates ready and available to go, there’s no waiting a year. Amber, the owner, also lets you review the profiles before committing, but you are going to want to commit, because it will be the fastest journey will ever go on. Once we signed on, and got everything going, we had our son within a year! paperwork, legal work, transfer, pregnancy, and birth all within a year! Amber is very responsive, you can even text her and she will respond right away. We are getting ready for our second journey with Smart Surrogacy, and I already have a surrogate, ready to go, and she’s even already cleared by my clinic. I’m so excited to start my second journey with Smart Surrogacy.

Date of experience : April 28, 2022

Smart Surrogacy helped me reach my dream.

To get set up as a surrogate and matched with an intended parent was an easy process. Amber was very quick to reply by phone, text, or email. I am very excited to continue this journey with this agency to help guide me. After a visit with my doctor for medical clearance the whole process was quick and easy. I would recommend this agency for any woman looking to become a surrogate. I plan on having one more surrogate baby and I will be using Amber and Smart Surrogacy.

Date of experience : December 30, 2018

Reply from Smartsurrogacy

Hello, Brandy, thank you so much for your review! Since we worked together, you have been a superstar for us. You are very responsible, helpful, trustworthy and easy to work with. It is an honor to work with you. Thank you very much again for your review, Brandy.

I have been looking into surrogacy for…

I have been looking into surrogacy for a long time. I’ve spoken with other agencies none of which stood out tome, and then I found Smart Surrogacy. Smart Surrogacy has been extremely helpful in answering the many questions I have had as well as being patient with me throughout this journey. Everything has been wonderful so far and I will definitely be reaching out to them in the future if I choose to be a surrogate again. I look forward to see what more is in store in our future.

Date of experience : October 14, 2019

Nothing but praise for Amber of Smart…

Nothing but praise for Amber of Smart Surrogacy A difficult journey but if Amber is around, you are rest assured you are in good hands. She always take the extra mile and go beyond her scope to help, show concern and comfort you as a friend. I feel very assured and safe in her hands and I know deep down in my heart, the journey will not be as smooth-sailing if not for her. I strongly recommend her to anyone who wants to start on this journey and NO ONE can be a better fit than Amber.

Date of experience : January 14, 2019

Trustworthy and dependable

Never doubted this agency, although I was an inexperienced surrogate. Walked me through every step of the way and stayed in touch. This agency has been experienced in all aspects of the fertility journey. I had international IP’s as a first time surrogate, So there were challenges. Smart Surrogacy made it comfortable and I knew I could trust the follow through including Legal, insurance and every aspect. I plan on taking my second journey through Smart Surrogacy and know that I will be supported and they will have my best interests.

Date of experience : March 11, 2022

Thank you smart surrogacy!

I am very amazed at how quickly smart surrogacy was able to set me up with a GC & how Helpful they were with my process. I greatly recommend smart surrogacy for those that are wanting to make they’re dream families come true. Extremely pleased with everything from start to finish.

Date of experience : October 05, 2019

Dream come true

Hello, this is Tracy from the east coast of the United States. Our fertility clinic strongly recommended Smart Surrogacy to us a year ago. Upon our outreach, Amber from the team called us right away. She is the best agent. She is very experienced, patient, sweet, caring, professional, and honest. We were matched by Smart Surrogacy with a wonderful surrogate quickly. The attorney recommended by the agency is great as well. The Smart Surrogacy team makes everything flow easily and smoothly. We were very nervous about the process. We are so happy that we have found Smart Surrogacy and especially Amber. Whenever we have any questions, concerns, or needs, Amber of her team reaches out and helps us find the solutions. We are about to have our twin boys now. We have been waiting for this for many years. We are very grateful to the team and especially Amber. We STRONGLY recommend Smart Surrogacy to any intended parents.

Date of experience : June 10, 2022

BEST PLACE EVER

I have never worked with such a amazing surrogate agency before! They are very helpful, communicative, and nice. AMBER has been the best person I could have ever asked for. She takes good care of all the girls that come in. She made me feel welcome and wanted and like I mattered! She is the best I wouldn’t go anywhere else

Date of experience : August 11, 2023

Amber is phenomenal

Amber is phenomenal, she personally cares for her surrogates, manages everything in a timely matter and will answer any questions you might have along the way. Matching was thought through, very fast. Amber's network of clinics, insurance and attorneys is very good.

Date of experience : November 27, 2019

Smart surrogacy is great!

I am still in beginning stages of the Surrogacy process. So far it's been a great experience, smart surragacy has been great. My contact person is thorough, very informative, always easy to contact with any questions or concerns. I'm so happy to be in this journey and have Smart Surrogacy by my side.

Date of experience : August 10, 2019

First time Surro

I am in the process of starting my first journey and I am in love with the staff! Amber has been very welcoming and has worked closely with me throughout the entire process! Communication has been great and I’m looking forward to moving forward with my IP’s and the agency. ☺️☺️

Date of experience : October 25, 2019

Smart Surrogacy

I have nothing but wonderful things to say about smart surrogacy and their awesome staff. They treated me like family and even though i am not new to surrogacy it was great to have the staff there to answer all my questions when i had them. I absolutely love the IP that I am matched with ,it seems like the staff really listen to me because I couldnt have asked for a better IP. All my emails and phone calls where answered back in a very timely manner and I never felt over whelmed. Like I said I have had nothing but wonderful and great experience with Smart Surrogacy. I would definitely recommend them to anyone looking to become a future surrogate or any Ips searching for awesome surro mom.

Date of experience : February 25, 2019

  • Surrogacy Success Stories

Below you'll find just a small sample of the many surrogate mothers and intended parents who provided West Coast Surrogacy reviews, testimonials and surrogacy success stories.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate or an finding a gestational carrier , or simply have further questions about our surrogacy agency please contact us .

"Amy Benes - Working with you was an absolute dream and I am so thankful for your kindness, encouragement and all of your insight throughout the journey. I felt so nurtured and supported from the moment we met until the end. You’re the best ❤️" – Surrogate Terra
“Debbie, I wanted to thank you for all your help with this case. You have been absolutely wonderful to work with. The high level of involvement and support you provide as a Case Manager is so appreciated. I wish all Case Managers and agencies were like you! ❤️” – Third party coordinator from a California fertility center
"I just wanted to write an email to say how thankful I am to have you all a part of my last journey. Amy, thank you for everything you have provided for me. You were on call around the clock for me and my IPs. You were such a huge support to me and I cant thank you enough. Debbie, you have been such a trooper. Helping me from questions, to jumping in for support and help. It didn’t go unnoticed and I greatly appreciate everything. When Amy had taken time away, you were there and always made me feel comfortable talking to you. Rebecca, you were my cheerleader. You always checked in on me prior to transfer, and after. Thank you so much for that extra layer of support. Ellen, where do I start, haha. I enjoyed my talks with you. That’s definitely one thing I’m going to miss. You have given me so much support, such great advice. Even when I doubted some feelings, you validated my feelings were normal and helped me understand more on the why I felt that way. I could go on and on about how truly amazing you all are. I hope you all know how amazing you are. Helping surrogates, helping families. You all tell me how amazing I am, but I feel that way about all of you. Your support, your kind words didn’t go unnoticed from me. It truly was a blessed journey and I have all of you to thank for this. I love being a part of the WCS family and it’s so sad I’m done in this journey. Thank you all for doing what you do." – Experienced WCS Surrogate
We cannot speak highly enough of WCS. We have been impressed for a number of reasons but the most important for us was the love and support we received from Amy [founder] and Natalie [case manager] to realise our dreams of becoming parents. They really got to know us as a couple, understand our journey and made this the most incredible and positive experience. We felt that as IPs we were supported and guided but also our surrogate, who was a fantastic match, was also offered support and it was obvious through our regular catch ups that she was enjoying the process of surrogacy and the gift she was giving us, which was incredibly important to us. Amy’s agency ensured all the background work was meticulously followed up so we could just enjoy the fun and excitement of the journey. The team were always at the end of the phone to advise, offer their experience and guidance as needed and attended many of the scans and appointments to share in the joy! We got our dream baby, but more than that we met amazing people along the way and had renewed faith in humanity and the kindness and love that can get you through tough chapters in life. Thank you so much to Amy and her fantastic team. – Katie and Bryn, Intended Parents
I just recently finished my first surrogacy with WCS and I couldn’t be happier with how everything went. Everyone here is incredibly friendly and helpful. They did an amazing job with matching my family and I with our IP and they gave what I felt was the perfect amount of support. I can’t wait to come back to them for a second journey! – Maggie, Surrogate
My journey with WCS started in 2016 since then I’ve had the privilege of delivering a baby in 2017 for an amazing couple and currently pregnant as a 2nd time surrogate for another amazing and deserving couple. Everyone at WCS work together in order to make each journey run smoothly and special for everyone involved. The staff is so involved and caring of their surrogates and Intended Parents. From the moment I called for information, I knew that this is where I could get the help to make my dreams of being a surrogate successful. I highly recommend WCS to anyone that is interested in helping by egg donation, becoming a surrogate, or Intended Parents who want to build or expand their family. I love West Coast Surrogacy!!❤️ – Victoria, Surrogate
I could not have asked for a better agency. They are always there when you need them and have no problem answering any and all questions. I am so lucky to have had them with me through both my journeys. I was so happy with them that my step sister who had been a surrogate before me with a different agency switched to West Coast for her second journey. Thank you West Coast!! – Danielle, Surrogate

Surrogacy Success

"As we write this our beautiful daughter is sleeping next to us and we are so grateful to Amy and the West Coast Surrogacy team for their expertise and support in handling our surrogacy. From the initial call with Amy through to the day our daughter was born we couldn't have asked for a better experience. Amy was so knowledgeable and understanding of our situation and quickly found us a perfect surrogate match. Our case manager Andrea was extremely caring and supportive and took care of every possible detail throughout the process. Surrogacy is an highly emotional and at times stressful journey and we are so thankful to the West Coast Surrogacy team for successfully helping us every step of the way throughout our journey. We highly recommend West Coast Surrogacy!" – Anonymous Intended Parents
"This is my first time being a surrogate for West Coast Surrogacy but not my first time going through the process. I previously used another agency and the experience was horrible. After that I was very hesitant about going through another surrogacy process but when I met Andrea I knew it would be different. She was so kind, caring and definitely had my best interest in mind. The entire agency is very organized which is a plus considering everything a surrogate has to endure and especially for an A type person like me. Lol I am very lucky to have met Andrea and I look forward to going on this journey with all the wonderful people of West Coast Surrogacy. Thank you!" – Geneva, Surrogate
Dear Amy, "Thank you for starting WCS. You did a great job of making a welcoming and warm agency with amazing people. When I think back on this year to find what I was thankful for, a lot had to do with WCS. I was thankful for meeting my IP and helping bring this precious baby girl into his life; I was thankful for [our case manager] Debbie, always there to help and have a friendly word; I was thankful for the support of all the surrogates in our Facebook [group]; all of the employees at WCS that help when I need it; and I am thankful to you! Without you, I would have had none of that to be thankful for!" – Audra, Surrogate Mother
"On this Mother's Day evening [May 9, 2015] I am reflecting on how I made someone a mother of 2 beautiful healthy babies which she could never have on her own. Wish I could do it for many more women out there. What a dream come true. Thank you Amy Stewart Kaplan and Sue Ann Gonis and all the wonderful people at West Coast Surrogacy for making women mothers. Sean Daneshmand [thank you] for taking great care of all the wonderful moms to be out there." – Jessika, Surrogate Mother
"I have worked with Amy Kaplan at West Coast Surrogacy for many years. I have always found them to be helpful, straightforward and reliable. I always know that they will take good care of any clients I match from start to finish." – Gail Sexton Anderson, Ed.M. - Founder

Surrogacy Success

"After having done a lot of research, in different countries and different agencies, we chose West Coast Surrogacy, California. From the first moment the agency made us feel welcomed and understood, it was very personal attention from the very beginning." As the agency understood our situation and wishes right away! It was incredible finally finding an agency that was both professional but warmhearted. We met our case manager, Debbie by chance when we were at the [IVF] clinic, she came over to us and presented herself to us, telling us that she had recognized us from the pictures we had send us, and we spoke for a while. She made us feel very comfortable and it was easy to speak with her. We found our surrogate mother with [Debbie's] help, it was good to have her by our side when we spoke to our surrogate for the first time, as it can be a bit tricky to find out what to say sometimes. Debbie was so professional and supportive during the whole process. Our surrogate and the agency kept us well posted on everything that was going on. We were very lucky that we got pregnant with our little baby girl, Freia. Our surrogate was so loving towards our baby, she also told her children about her, and they all called her by her name and spoke with her during the pregnancy, which we are so grateful for, she could never have been in better hands." – Anne-Marie and Igor, Intended Parents
"We were really blessed to find Amy and West Coast Surrogacy a year and a half after I just experienced another roller coaster of conceiving and miscarrying after 8 weeks of pregnancy. At that time we were just deeply desperate, and thought we would never be parents. It was Amy from West Coast Surrogacy who lighted the flame of new hope and made us feel secure and comfortable with her professional and detailed explanation about the whole process of surrogacy; also the referral of our fertility doctor who was also extremely amazing! West Coast’s team found us the most amazing woman to be our surrogate and carry our baby girl. She is just an excellent match for us! We have created a very unique relationship with her and her family! Lindsay, my case manager, is absolutely awesome! She is truly professional, informative, supportive, and an extremely caring person. She drove 4 hours on the weekend to our delivery hospital to support us and welcome our baby girl! The entire journey with West Coast was just perfect, and no words could adequately express our gratitude to everyone on the team! Now our first baby girl is in our arms and our dreams have come true! We are looking forward to our next journey with West Coast Surrogacy in the very near future!" – Jasmine and Victor, Intended Parents
"I have nothing but wonderful things to say about you, the agency, Valentine and every person I interacted with. I feel so lucky to have been guided through a scary process by your team. And I don't have enough words of gratitude for you. Thank you with all my heart." – Anonymous Intended Parent
"West Coast Surrogacy is an amazing agency. As a first time surrogate, I knew that helping someone have a family was something I wanted to do, however, I had no idea how life changing this would be. I was matched with a wonderful couple -- it could not have been any better of a match. For this couple, I carried twins, a boy and a girl. Throughout my pregnancy, I felt supported, cared for, and appreciated by my IPs and everyone at West Coast Surrogacy. When I look back on my experience, I realize that I have given a couple a beautiful family, gained a good friend [Mom], and developed a new level of closeness with my husband. I am changed forever in a beautiful way!" – Nicole, Surrogate Mother

Surrogacy Success

"We couldn’t be more impressed with and thankful for West Coast Surrogacy’s professionalism and personalized service. The difference with WCS is that they are focused on providing dedicated attention to their clients. Their service quality is head-and-shoulders above many other agencies that we interviewed and worked with. WCS was recommended to us by a friend who was involved in the reproductive medicine field, and who has worked with all the major agencies in the country. WCS delivered a very warm experience for us as Intended Parents. Crucially, they accommodated to our intended surrogacy process, which was relatively "bespoke" with us having selected the fertility doctor, lawyers, egg donor agency, all separately. They coordinated with all the relevant parties perfectly. WCS’s owner Amy Kaplan was able to engage with us at the critical moments [surrogate selection, contract negotiation] and was very nice, professional and organized. We had a fantastic case manager, Lindsay, who was very warm and supportive towards us, and more importantly, towards our surrogate who did all the hard work during our one-plus year “journey” to have children. Lindsay was a perfect combination of the "personal touch" and also being very detailed and determined on our case. WCS helped navigate us through tricky situations with locations [we live overseas], insurance providers, and also the situation of having another baby at the same time [working with a different agency]. We have already recommended WCS to a couple in our city, and that couple has already been successfully matched with a surrogate. If we did surrogacy again, we will definitely work with WCS as this has been such a positive and warm experience!" – Anonymous, Intended Parents
"I started down my road to become a surrogate in early 2011. After looking into a number of surrogate agencies online and researching what it meant to be a surrogate, I chose 2 agencies to potentially work with - West Coast Surrogacy was one of them. I requested application packets from both agencies at the same time and returned them at the same time. By the time the other agency had contacted me for their initial screening, which was weeks after I had returned my completed packets, I had already completed all my screening through West Coast, had a few phone conversations with my case manager, and had gotten all my questions answered and knew what to expect from that point forward. The feeling and attention I got from West Coast was great and gave me a sense that I was making the right decision with what agency I was going to work through. Within a few months I was matched with a couple and before I knew it our 1st attempt at an embryo transfer was turning into attempt #2. Through the process I had great communication with all the ladies at West Coast. Anyone I needed to call or email for any reason was always great at getting back to me and always treated me as if they had known me for a long time. Embryo transfer #2 turned into a singleton pregnancy. The entire experience of being pregnant again, being a surrogate, and helping a couple have a baby was all that I had hoped it would be. There were no complications on the business end since I had selected such a great agency to work with - the ladies at West Coast took care of everything, guided me through the process, but still allowed me to make the experience my own. Though I have to wait a while before I can be a surrogate again due to my own medical reasons, it is something I feel I would like to repeat. While I know the experience with each set of IP's will be different, I know things will be the same with West Coast. Their commitment to the people they work with, the support they give their surrogates, and their attention to the business side of things is something I do not take for granted and appreciate all the same. The fact that the ladies who work at West Coast have been surrogates and mothers themselves just helps things even more. West Coast Surrogacy has my recommendation for any woman thinking of becoming a surrogate or for any IP's who are looking to work with a good agency that offers good surrogates. My experience was what it was thanks to the help and support I received from West Coast Surrogacy." – Charleen, Surrogate Mother
"Ellen Winters-Miller has been an integral part of my surrogate experience. She has been invaluable throughout this whole process. Her support and commitment has helped my confidence in this whole process. During times of adversity and disappointment, she has been there to validate my feelings. Friends and family, those who love me, are important, but Ellen has contributed a perfect blend of being objective, realistic and compassionate. She has always been available, even after hours to be that ear...or that shoulder to cry on...or that cheerleader rooting us on. Whatever the case, she makes me feel that my concerns are valid and of priority. On more than one occasion, I have asked myself “What would I do without Ellen? As surrogates, I don't think we can imagine the potential emotional stress and challenges that are ahead. Having someone qualified and experienced like Ellen, makes the whole process and experience smoother and more enjoyable for all. My IPs and I have had our smiles and our tears. I am so grateful to have Ellen there at my side. I wouldn't trade her for the world. I have her to thank for my positive attitude... my hope... and my determination with surrogacy." – Susan, Surrogate Mother
"My husband and I had a beautiful girl on Feb. 26., and I can't describe how happy and excited we are. I'd like to take this opportunity to say thank you to all of you. My husband and I are so appreciative of everything you did for us, and we finally have a perfect baby girl who has made our family complete. We liked our surrogate very much, she is amazing and a wonderful women. Amy, thank you for introducing her to us. Tyler, you are so kind and willing to help all the time, thank you for your patience. Andrea, you did so many things for me, helped communicate with our IVF center and with our surrogate, the Hospital, the OB doctor, the cord blood company, and et cetera. It is so complicated, especially for foreigners like us. Without your help, we could not have gone through this process smoothly, thanks again. We are ready for a second child now, and hope that with your continued help, we can have a second child next year." – Sunny, Intended Parent
"Anyone who has ever been pregnant knows that pregnancy is a stressful time, no matter how ideal. Carrying a baby for someone else has the potential to be even more stressful. Amy and the staff of West Coast Surrogacy are experts at minimizing the stress to both the surrogate as well as the intended parents. I am so grateful that when I made the decision to become a surrogate that I found Amy! She and Ellen are so wonderful at matching the surrogate and parents personalities, to create the best working partnership imaginable. I couldn’t have dreamed of having an easier time with either of my two surrogate experiences. Even though I didn’t have any major issues, it was comforting to know that someone was available, day or night, if I needed them- for anything! I would [and have] recommend West Coast Surrogacy to anyone considering it, either surrogate or parent!" – Suzie, Surrogate Mother
"We had the most incredible and life changing experience with Amy and our surrogate. Amy found a perfect match for us and guided us through the process, the outcome of which are our beautiful twins. We interviewed several agencies, but it was Amy's personal touch that convinced us. She is sensitive to all the emotions involved and makes everyone feel valued. We are considering a second surrogacy, and we wouldn't think of using anyone else but West Coast Surrogacy." – Maureen and Gary, Intended Parents
"Amy with West Coast Surrogacy is AMAZING! The thought of trying to find a surrogate was terrifying for my husband and me, there were so many so many agencies to choose from and so many details, this was all so foreign to us, where do we start with this whole process of starting a family? We found Amy Kaplan, with West Coast Surrogacy on-line and compared her agency to 5 other agencies in California and the initial phone call was one that I will always remember. Amy called me right back after I had left a message, and we ended up chatting for about 30 minutes on the phone about all of the details. She immediately made me feel secure, and was so knowledgeable about the whole process. Her attention to detail, level of "service" and commitment to making us happy and feel comfortable and our privacy was much different than the other agencies we interviewed. Everything from where to start with a potential surrogate to attorneys, to laws in California, to the appointments, etc., was just SO helpful. She found us the most amazing woman to be our surrogate and carry our twins, one who we truly trusted and knew would be an excellent match for us. Through the whole process [over a year] she was always incredibly accessible, would return phone calls or emails very promptly, she was able to make arrangements to be with our surrogate at appointments when we could not be there for us, she was always forthcoming, honest and very clear with all costs and expectations of the intended parents. We created a unique relationship with her as she was our advocate and partner during this process to the many individuals who were all involved, [Nurses, Doctors, our surrogate, our Therapist, those at the hospital, etc.] She will truly be a very instrumental person in our lives as she introduced us to our surrogate, who helped give us a family, one we have always dreamed of for many years. Thank you Amy!" – Steve and Jackie, Intended Parents

Surrogacy Success

"I was really blessed that my fertility doctor referred me to West Coast Surrogacy and specifically Amy. I was really quite anxious about the whole process but my first meeting with Amy completely put me to rest. I found her not only extremely professional, but sympathetic and understanding as well. It was really important for me to "click" with a surrogate and she found me a wonderful person that matched me extremely well. I call Amy one of "my angels" as she has always been so informative, supportive, and extremely kind. I would recommend West Coast Surrogacy highly and without reservation." – Anonymous, Intended Parent
"Within the field of IVF and surrogacy, I have found Amy Kaplan from West Coast Surrogacy to be outstanding. Amy is not only experienced, knowledgeable, and professional from a business standpoint, she also shines in her abilities to communicate. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for eight years [lots of exposure to the industry]. Last year, we decided to work with a surrogate, and were led to Amy's agency. As a massage therapist and yoga teacher, I am always interested in healthy communication with attention paid to treating others compassionately with respect and kindness to go the extra mile if you will. Amy has consistently met my desire for these attributes, which is a rarity in my experience. Last, but not least, she has also provided us a wonderful surrogate, who is a beautiful spirit and a lovely person whom I believe is a true gift to us and our future child! Thank you, Amy!" – Tamara, Intended Parent
"I know choosing a surrogacy agency will be one of the toughest decisions you will be faced with in this incredible and often complicated process of creating your family. I remember how scared and confused my wife and I were when we started gathering information on the IVF process. There was so much information and we were totally overwhelmed! We interviewed several surrogacy agencies, but we chose West Coast Surrogacy because of how we felt about Ms. Amy Kaplan. We wanted to be with an agency that would be there every step of the way in this very emotional and to us, complicated journey. I remember telling Amy, she needed to "always be there for us, and to hold our hands every step of the way." And, to her word, Amy was ALWAYS there for us. It started with Amy constantly responding and answering all of our many questions, phone calls, and emails in a very prompt manner. She then introduced us to our wonderful surrogate mother, and she personally attended a great majority of our appointments; this was very comforting to us and to the surrogate mom. Unfortunately, we did not have the outcome we had hoped for, we lost our baby at around 20 weeks and my wife decided she did not want to try again. But, even in this extremely difficult time, Amy was right there by our side... Every step of the way! To me, you call tell more about a person/business in how they react in bad times, than in good times. Anyone can be there when things are going good, but it takes a truly wonderful person/agency to ALWAYS be there in the difficult times as well. Amy was definitely always there for us.... in good times, as well as bad ones. For this and many other reasons, I can highly recommend her and her company to you." – Mike, Intended Parent
“Like many couples exploring surrogacy, we'd experienced more than our fair share of fertility treatments and procedures. There were surgeries, delays, medications, more surgeries, diets, invasive procedures, IUIs, IVFs, Frozen transfers, pregnancies... There were successes too. We lost Matthew and Isabel at 22 weeks which was the most devastating loss of our our lives yet eighteen months later, in a very complicated pregnancy, we were blessed with Lucas and Sabrina. "Luke" and "Bree" are healthy and beautiful, but the complications associated with their birth meant we couldn't have any more children of our own without surrogacy. This is when we met with Amy to discuss our options. We felt very comfortable with Amy. She was very knowledgeable about the entire process having worked in the field AND having been a surrogate herself. We felt it gave her a unique perspective when interviewing potential surrogates and IPs. She paired us with a wonderful surrogate and has managed the entire process from matching to legal to IVF procedures...and ultimately to a successful result. As we write this, our surrogate is carrying our next pair of twins! Throughout it all, Amy provides support, is an outlet when needed, bridges communication gaps and so much more. She attends to all the details and presents them easily and readily so we can focus on the pregnancy and our relationship with the surrogate. The personal and undivided attention has really helped our journey. It's been a wonderful experience.” – Mike & Lisa, Intended Parents
“My husband and I had an excellent experience working with Amy. She helped guide us through the initial phases of getting to know a potential surrogate. Amy was professional, organized, friendly, and warm throughout the process. During our first face-to-face meeting with the surrogate, Amy did a great job of guiding the conversation so that our questions were addressed and that all of us were on the same page in terms of plans for the pregnancy. She took the responsibility of evaluating our match very seriously. Later, when some unexpected problems arose, Amy listened to our concerns and offered honest feedback on the situation. We always felt that Amy was motivated to ‘do the right thing’ rather than simply whatever was easiest. We valued her integrity and support.” – Anonymous Intended Parents
"Amy and the whole West Coast Surrogacy Agency have been amazing through this whole experience! I have had all the support I could ever ask for. Amy called me on a daily basis to see how I was doing. Ellen Miller called a few times to check on me. Amy took great care of me the morning of by driving me everywhere I needed to go. She even drove me to the hotel and made sure i was all set before she left that day. She even came back and brought me a birthday cake for my birthday. It was so sweet of her! I made the absolute best decision by going Amy's agency. She makes me feel so special, unlike other agencies who treat you like a number. West Coast Surrogacy is by far the best surrogacy agency to work with!" – Jackie, Surrogate Mother
"Working with West Coast Surrogacy has been a great experience. I enjoy having someone there to ensure that everything is being taken care of. With the last agency that I worked with it was my sole responsibility to make sure that things got done. That the right tests were done, to find somewhere to take the tests, and to make sure I stayed on track. With West Coast Surrogacy they make sure that everything is complete and that things are going smoothly. For me it has been really nice to call and talk to a real person that knows who I am and is willing to help with anything I need. I am in my second surrogate relationship and have found that it is an emotional roller coaster no matter who your coupled with. With my previous agency I could only call during certain hours if I wanted to ask a question and then I would have to give all my information so they could find me in there system. For me it has made all the difference in the world to have that personal relationship with someone who cares about my journey." – Jovita, Surrogate Mother
"It is rare anymore to find someone who is truly passionate about their career and exhibits the same degree of compassion. Amy Kaplan embodies this kind of dedication and tremendous kindness, which cannot be replaced or reproduced and is undoubtedly genuine. Choosing to be a surrogate and to have a surrogate, is a calling and not without heartfelt considerations. One of Amy's many gifts is her honesty and she is more than qualified to shed light on these considerations because of her extensive work and personal contributions in the field of reproductive medicine. Regardless of the capacity in which Amy is a part of your life, anyone would be lucky to be a part of her vision and that of West Coast Surrogacy." – Amber, Surrogate Applicant
"All I have are wonderful things to say about West Coast Surrogacy and Amy. As an experienced surrogate who has been with another agency all I have to say is the care and service Amy provides to all her surrogates and intended parents is unsurpassed. She is always on top of everything, taking care of every detail and is available whenever you need her. My other agency experience isn’t bad, but I had to make many of my own arrangements and keep them apprised of all of my appointments, transfer dates etc. The support Amy as well as the group of other surrogate moms make West Coast Surrogacy feel like a second family. Thank you for being AMAZING Amy!!!!" – Laura, Surrogate Mother
"One of the most prestigious IVF clinic in Los Angeles referred me to West Coast Surrogacy. I had a wonderful experience working them in the past year. The brilliant matchmaker Tyler always does his best to bring the right surrogate and client together. I have worked with two case manager Debbie and Lindsey, both of them are easy to work with and I can even reach them on the weekends and evening. I also met the owner Amy, she is the most reasonable, understanding and kind lady. I mean, all the staff at West Coast Surrogacy are very friendly, responsible, flexible, caring and professional. I can always reach the staff easily, and they are efficient as well. They handle case by case, and try their best to bring miracles to life. I would highly recommend West Coast Surrogacy to people who need it, you will not be disappointed with them." – Anonymous, Intended Parents
"I know some people think that surrogacy agencies are just middle men taking advantage of surrogates and clients. We personally feel West Coast Surrogacy is the glue that holds everything together. Even though we now quite experienced with the surrogacy process, we would only do it again with WCS. Their fees are quite reasonable given the amount of time and resources they put into the relationships. Their outstanding reputation also means they partner with the best quality surrogates, doctors, lawyers and other professionals. Our first experience many years ago showed how important it is to work with the right people to achieve success through surrogacy. Amy Kaplan, Debbie Esquival and the entire WCS team are the right people." – Anonymous, Intended Parents
"I found WCS after a referral from a friend. Boy was I impressed! I have had one very successful surrogacy journey that resulted in me delivering a beautiful baby girl to the most amazing couple, of whom I remain good friends with! I am now working on my second surrogacy journey with another very lovely couple. There are so many great things I could say about West Coast Surrogacy, such as the amazing caring staff, professionalism and compassion they all hold, but if I could only say one good thing it would be how determined they are to make sure that they find the perfect match between IP and surrogate so that they may have the best experience. My life has changed so much since having been a surrogate and I recommend West Coast Surrogacy to any other surrogate or IP!" – Anonymous, Surrogate Mother
"WCS provides excellent services for everything we expect, and we do mean top-notch. One might say that is just meeting clients' expectations, but we have lived long enough to know that is the culmination of many years of experience and that it takes a very competent organization starting from the top down. As immigrants, we tend to be tough graders because things are more competitive where we came from, but our experience with WCS has been so good -- they truly are top of the world. We know a good thing when we see it and we know we struck gold with WCS. Our only regret is not going to them in the first place but we are surely glad we finally did." – Anonymous, Intended Parents
"I found West Coast Surrogacy after deciding to become a surrogate and doing research on several companies. I loved how personable they were, and the ease of availability when you needed to speak with someone regarding any issue at all. I was matched with a wonderful set of parents [IP's], and we had a beautiful journey together, resulting in their healthy twins." – Anonymous, Surrogate Mother
"My husband and I looked at two agencies; West Coast and another, bigger agency. At West Coast we met with the owner, Amy, and her son, Tyler. We were very impressed with how involved West Coast is right from the start. Tyler sent us profiles of surrogates until we found a really great match. Debbie was assigned as our case manager. I would call her on her cell phone all hours of the day and night, and she always cheerfully answered. It was so nice to have a friendly voice on the line during such a stressful and emotional time!" – Anonymous, Intended Parents
"My experience as a surrogate with West Coast Surrogacy has been amazing. I have had the amazing opportunity to work with more than half the people in the agency over the course of two surrogacy journeys. The matching process was very quick and I have been matched with two wonderful families. Both of my case managers were amazing and we're always there when I needed them." – Anonymous, Surrogate Mother
"I would like to extend my gratitude to you and your team. I would like you to know that every person whom I have had contact with on the West Coast team has been absolutely wonderful. From the beginning, my surrogacy journey has had a ton of bumps in the road. Your team has helped me and shown so much patience and kindness and for that I am so grateful. In the beginning, Casey and Malika were absolutely wonderful in helping me keep all of my ducks in a row. Tyler was so kind and understanding when I met him. He took the time to listen to my "requests" when it came to matching with a family. Andee was a dream at my medical screening. I was SO nervous and had no idea what to expect. She helped ease my mind and felt like a long time friend rather than someone that I am essentially working with to make these dreams come true. Now, Nicole has been more than wonderful and responsive when it comes to my concerns and joys. She has gone above and beyond and been available to me through a ton! Again, I am so appreciative of your team and would like to thank you for allowing me to be a part of making dreams come true. Thank you so much, I look forward to making miracles happen. " – C.C. , Surrogate Mother
"I just wanted to write an email to say how thankful I am to have you all a part of my last journey."

Want to share your West Coast Surrogacy success story with others? Send us a review or testimonial !

Better Business

  • Search Please fill out this field.
  • Newsletters

Erin Andrews on Surrogacy, IVF, and Overcoming the ‘Forever’ Mom Guilt

The famous Fox Sports reporter has partnered with Enfamil for a campaign to help others feel less alone.

GettyImages/Wesley Hitt/Contributor

Almost a year into motherhood, Erin Andrews is seeing her son Mack Roger Stoll reach several special milestones. He’s “crushing” the transition to solids , says Andrews, along with crawling , pulling himself up, and “ teething like a beast right now.”

He’s recognizing certain songs and books, and “if he figures out a game, we’re like, ‘Woo! Look at you; you're a genius,” jokes Andrews.

These moments are fun and fascinating. But the famous Fox Sports reporter's road to parenthood was anything but easy. 

The sportscaster was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 2016, at age 39, and was encouraged to freeze her eggs before beginning treatment, which she did. Andrews underwent two surgeries for the cancer. She also had to have some real conversations with her then boyfriend, now husband, retired hockey player Jarret Stoll, about having children together.

Their grueling fertility journey eventually began: they had nine unsuccessful cycles of in-vitro fertilization (IVF) . They dealt with egg production difficulties and failed embryos. The couple eventually decided on surrogacy , which presented its own challenges, but Mack was born in June 2023. 

Andrews decision to open up about her fertility journey stems from her outspoken personality, but also the fact she was, well, fed up. 

“I’d been pumping myself with hormones for nine years,” she says. “Like, this chick was ready to burst; I was just over it.”

She’s continuing to speak out about all that comes with motherhood, including feeding babies . “We were faced with the reality of having to research a lot of formulas, and feed him formula because that's what you have to do when you have a surrogate,” explains Andrews. 

The couple was introduced to Enfamil in the hospital and they have since been giving their baby the brand’s Enspire Optimum. 

“One of the things that we really liked about Enfamil Enspire Optimum was the fact it had lactoferrin in it, which of course is the protein found in breast milk and colostrum ,” says Andrews, who has also partnered with the company for the Bottle Up campaign to highlight the fertility struggles many people face, while providing support for all roads to parenthood. 

Sharing Her Infertility Struggles

Opening up about her fertility journey didn’t come naturally at first. Andrews recalls trips to the fertility clinic and initially not wanting other patients to spot her.

Around her eighth retrieval, she overheard another patient speaking about her first retrieval through the sheet that separated them in the clinic. Andrews remembers coaching her behind the sheet, saying, “Your first day sucks, but this is the easiest thing through the last month that you've been through. You're going to be fine.” 

The emotional moment inspired Andrews to use her platform to speak up about infertility.

“There's so many people that are dealing with it and the reality is it's really freaking hard,” explains Andrews. “There's a lot of stories that are unsuccessful and heartbreaking. I want to tell people they're not alone.”

Research shows up to 15% of couples have trouble conceiving after one year of having unprotected sex. Options like IVF and surrogacy are becoming more commonplace thanks in part to figures like Andrews who are normalizing them. 

The lengthy and expensive process of surrogacy was difficult for Andrews and her husband, particularly because of their embryo issues. “We knew we didn't have a lot; we didn't have room for error; we didn't have room for failed attempts because we just didn't have a lot in the bank,” says Andrews. 

The couple admittedly also did not fully understand the realities of the process and that surrogacy doesn’t guarantee a live birth. They used two embryos for their first surrogacy attempt in 2021, and the transfer was unsuccessful. 

“That was extremely difficult in terms of grieving because we had dealt with so much failure in the IVF process, we thought we were golden when we made it this far,” she says. “And it's even harder because you have to go through interviewing a person, you have to go through getting them prepped, you have to pay their medical, you have to have them go through medical, you have to go to these appointments with them. I went to the transfer. There’s a lot of bonding and then when it didn’t work, it was like, ‘God, what now?’”

Ultimately, Andrews says she and are her husband are lucky to have been matched with the organization that helped them find their surrogate for Mack.

Dealing with Mom Guilt

Since her baby’s birth, she’s faced other challenges like navigating that ever persistent mom guilt. 

Less than eight weeks after Mack was born, Andrews was back at work reporting during football season. It was hard, she says, because she felt she missed a lot in his first six months. She’s still a force on the sidelines, while also running her sports apparel companies, Wear and Baby Wear, but Andrews is learning to go easy on herself.

“I’m grateful because I have a lot of women in the NFL, in sports, that have reached out and kind of given their advice, like, ‘Don't be too hard on yourself—get ready, this is just the beginning of mom guilt,’” she says. “It's going to be there forever, I guess.”

But, in the beginning, Andrews couldn’t shake feeling guilty for complaining that motherhood felt hard, especially because she had help. Her baby nurse helped put things into perspective: “She said, ‘No, you need to be honest to moms and say this takes a village. Don't think you can do this all by yourself because you shouldn't feel like you have to,’” says Andrews. “She was like, ‘You don't have to feel ashamed for this.’”

Now, Andrews can proudly embrace the fact that she’s a career woman and acknowledges that it just makes her a better parent.

“Listen, I love my job. I love what I've created for myself in terms of being a broadcaster, and the brand that we have with the team apparel line I run,” she says. “I know I wouldn't be the best mom, or the best wife to my husband, if I wasn't involved in that. It's my passion. I feel like it brings out the tired version of me, but my best self. So, I'm going to stay the course.”

How common is infertility? National Institutes of Health . 2018.

24. Everything You Need to Know About Surrogacy with Jessie Jaskulsky About Health and Hormones

Jessie Jaskulsky is the owner of Surrogacy Simplified, a surrogacy consulting and white glove concierge that guides Intended Parents through the entire process of surrogacy. Jessie is a former Intended Parent and now has two daughters through surrogacy. Jessie founded Surrogacy Simplified as a way to elevate Intended Parents' experience with surrogacy and ensure all of her clients have an amazing journey knowing that all details, both big and small, are attended to. Listen in to hear Jessie Share: Her personal journey to motherhood through surrogacyJessie's journey through surrogacy, from facing challenges like a 22-week loss and secondary infertility to ultimately becoming the mother of two daughters through surrogacy.Insights into surrogacy's emotional, logistical, and legal aspects of surrogacyThe cost of surrogacyCommon misconceptions and societal views surrounding surrogacyspecial considerations for Jewish families navigating surrogacy.Supporting parents through their surrogacy journey.The benefits of having a surrogacy consultant throughout the process+ so much more Connect With Jessie Instagram Website I’d love to connect with you! Sign up for my newsletter Follow me on Instagram or and head to my website to get 60+ free hormone healthy recipes, download my free Ebook, How to Boost Your Egg Quality, learn about my coaching programs and stay up to date on all my latest workshops and courses! Thank you so much for listening to the About Health and Hormones Podcast! If you loved today’s episode, I would love to know! Please leave a rating and review so I can make this podcast even better for you all. I would love to connect with you. I’m so glad you were here today, and I wish you all health and happiness! This episode was edited and produced by Intent Media.

  • More Episodes
  • Copyright 2024 Lauren Allen

IMAGES

  1. Our Founders and their Surrogacy Journey

    my surrogacy journey review

  2. The difference a month makes...

    my surrogacy journey review

  3. How Does Surrogacy Work? The 7-Step Journey

    my surrogacy journey review

  4. Behind the creation of My Surrogacy Journey®

    my surrogacy journey review

  5. Behind the creation of My Surrogacy Journey®

    my surrogacy journey review

  6. Surrogacy Process and All You Should Know Before Starting

    my surrogacy journey review

COMMENTS

  1. My Surrogacy Journey: What I Wish I'd Known

    Writer Sophie Beresiner documents her surrogacy journey in her new book The Mother Project, which British Vogue 's beauty director Jessica Diner read "cover to cover in two sittings, heart in mouth, following every twist and turn with anticipation". "The journey to motherhood can be more complex for some than others," says Jessica.

  2. Home

    Michael & Wes Johnson Ellis. Michael and Wes are the co-founders of My Surrogacy Journey and are Dads to their two children born via UK independent Surrogacy. Talulah was born in 2016, and Duke was born in 2019. They built their family through friendship and developed a solid relationship with their gestational surrogate, Caroline and her family.

  3. What to Know Before Your Surrogacy Journey

    Two main factors affecting cost are whether you need an egg donor, and how many rounds of I.V.F. are required before your surrogate conceives. If you don't need a donor, the cost for each cycle ...

  4. Resources

    The All Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) have also been keen for a Surrogacy Law reform which has already been debated in Parliament in January 2020, a full transcript can be read here.The APPG also met with a vast group of Surrogacy advocates in 2018/2019 including Michael and Wes Johnson-Ellis, Founders of TwoDadsUK, The Modern Family Show and My Surrogacy Journey.

  5. Families Share Their Surrogacy Journey

    While the number of children born each year in the U.S. via surrogacy is a small percentage of the total, the number of families turning to this practice has risen sharply in the last 20 years. According to a study in the Journal of Assisted Reproduction and Genetics, the percentage of surrogate births out of all assisted births tripled between 1999 and 2014, while the number of infants born ...

  6. My Surrogacy Journey: Trista's Story

    I only played a small part. I was only a blip on their life radar, but I was able to make a big impact. And they were able to make a big impact on me as well. On this journey I learned something about myself: I can. I can overcome my fears. I can face the impossible. I can help. We're thrilled that surrogate Trista shared her surrogacy experience.

  7. ‎My Surrogacy Journey on Apple Podcasts

    My Surrogacy Journey is the UK's number one surrogacy podcast, that is made to support, educate and entertain, whatever stage of the surrogacy journey you're at. The hosts, Wes, Michael and Anna have all had their own surrogacy journeys and use their experiences to share stories and advice. ... Customer Reviews 4.6 out of 5. 20 Ratings. 20 ...

  8. My Surrogacy Journey

    My Surrogacy Journey® - The Podcast is back for a third season sponsored by Manchester Fertility. Welcome to the UK's number one, award winning surrogacy podcast, that is made to support, educate and entertain, whatever stage of the surrogacy journey you are at.The hosts and founders of My Surrogacy Journey are Michael and Wes. They have had ...

  9. My Surrogacy Journey

    Michael Johnson-Ellis / October 4, 2023 /. Reading Time: 3 minutes When My Surrogacy Journey first began to support a new way of family building in 2017 the vision was very clear, we wanted to provide a service to people…. read more. Educational , Genetics , News , ttc.

  10. Welcome to the My Surrogacy Journey Podcast! Meet your hosts

    Welcome to My Surrogacy Journey the podcast. The series is designed and made to help anyone starting on their surrogacy journey, whatever stage you are at. Each week, the hosts Anna Buxton, Michael and Wes Johnson-Ellis are joined by specialists in their field to discuss surrogacy and share practical, educational and helpful tips and advice. My Surrogacy Journey brings together experts and ...

  11. New Surrogate Stories; Kay and Megan. Their body, their decision!

    My Surrogacy Journey - The Podcast is the UK's leading multi award winning podcast from a non profit surrogacy organisation. Welcome to Episode 1; Surrogate Stories Mike and Wes chat to two first time surrogates, Megan and Kay - both with very different stories to tell, but both aligned on one fact. Especially an episode for the extreme feminists; their body is not being exploited, listen in ...

  12. What My Surrogacy Journey Taught Me

    Self. Parenting. Parents. What My Surrogacy Journey Taught Me. Story by Nidhi R. Mehta. • 4mo. Now a mom to 3, one hopeful parent's surrogacy journey taught her something all of us need to learn ...

  13. My Surrogacy Journey.

    Hi, my name is Shanelle, and I am a gestational carrier. . This year I had the amazing opportunity to help someone with their family building, and I am excited to share my surrogacy journey! Let's go back to the very beginning. For years I have always thought about becoming a gestational carrier. I wasn't really sure what the process was or ...

  14. What's ahead for Season 2?

    We're excited to tell you about Season 2 of My Surrogacy Journey, the podcast! Proudly sponsored by Herts & Essex Fertility Centre. It's been a while since the end of Season 1 but Michael and Wes are back soon with some amazing guests and this trailer gives you an exclusive sneak peak of what's to come! From surrogate stories, international surrogacy tips and tricks, a Mexico City special and ...

  15. The Surrogacy Journey Overview

    As you can see, the surrogacy journey comes with ups and downs and the best thing you can do to prepare at the start is to create a budget. Once you have your budget, reach out to us here at Golden and you will have a team of experienced professionals to guide you through the downs and cheer alongside you during the ups.

  16. Smartsurrogacy Reviews

    Smart Surrogacy was extraordinarily helpful in my journey. Amber was a sincere pleasure to work with, taking into account my preferences and situation to find the best surrogate fit for my family. After five long years of struggling, I would never have believed it would have positively ended with the birth of my baby girl.

  17. Membership

    Check the Membership infographic for more information and become a surrogate with My Surrogacy Journey. Membership Benefits. Known Egg Donors. Our unique Known Egg Donor professional matching service has also been designed around those Intended Parents and Donors who want exceptional service and support throughout their Surrogacy journey. With ...

  18. My Surprising Journey to Surrogacy

    My surrogacy journey changed the course of my life in completely unexpected ways. Although I loved teaching, and I thought I'd retire as an old lady, surrogacy completely stole my heart. I still consider myself an educator, but now I'm educating women, and with such I have a further reach. Everyone's surrogacy journey is unique.

  19. Surrogacy Success Stories

    Below you'll find just a small sample of the many surrogate mothers and intended parents who provided West Coast Surrogacy reviews, testimonials and surrogacy success stories. ... Surrogate My journey with WCS started in 2016 since then I've had the privilege of delivering a baby in 2017 for an amazing couple and currently pregnant as a 2nd ...

  20. My Surrogacy Journey Reviews, Healthcare in 6 S Molton St, London

    Read 1 customer reviews of My Surrogacy Journey, one of the best Healthcare businesses at International House, 6 S Molton St, London W1K 5QF United Kingdom. Find reviews, ratings, directions, business hours, and book appointments online.

  21. Erin Andrews Opens up About Her Surrogacy Journey

    The couple eventually decided on surrogacy, which presented its own challenges, but Mack was born in June 2023. Andrews decision to open up about her fertility journey stems from her outspoken ...

  22. Our Team

    Rachel West is a partner at Carbert Waite, LLP in Calgary, Alberta Canada. Rachel regularly works with couples and individuals who wish to become parents, as well as surrogates (gestational carriers), in all aspects of surrogacy and fertility law. Rachel works with local and international Intended Parents, surrogates (gestational carriers), and ...

  23. ‎About Health and Hormones: 24. Everything You Need to Know About

    Her personal journey to motherhood through surrogacyJessie's journey through surrogacy, from facing challenges like a 22-week loss and secondary infertility to ultimately becoming the mother of two daughters through surrogacy.Insights into surrogacy's emotional, logistical, and legal aspects of surrogacyThe cost of surrogacyCommon ...

  24. About Us

    Our Mission. It's all about our Members. Our commitment is to ensure we define a parental pathway through Surrogacy that is trusted, professional and is supported every step of the way. The unrivalled levels of counselling and practical support from a network of surrogacy professionals and experts, medics and clinicians, combined with some of ...

  25. Surrogacy Laws

    Law Commission Review. 2023 is an important year for UK surrogacy. On the 29 th March 2023 The Law Commission and the Scottish Law Commission released their final bill following the period of consultation. ... My Surrogacy Journey, as well as other UK surrogacy organisations and academics have been campaigning and raising awareness for law ...