spongebob squarepants squid's visit dailymotion

Squid’s Visit

Patty Caper

Squid’s Visit: SpongeBob is desperate to have Squidward visit him at home, but Squidward says there’s no reason for him to come over, especially when he’s perfectly comfortable in his own home. So SpongeBob decides the only way to get Squidward to visit him is if his house is exactly like Squidward’s house-every square inch of it! To Squarepants or Not to

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Squid's Visit

"Squid's Visit" is the first segment of the sixteenth episode of season 6 , and it is paired with " To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants ." In this episode, SpongeBob borrows Squidward 's vacuum cleaner to make him visit his house , which he transforms into an exact replica of Squidward's house .

Characters [ edit ]

• Squidward Tentacles
• Eugene H. Krabs
• SpongeBob SquarePants
• Patrick Star
• Gary the Snail

Plot [ edit ]

When Squidward leaves the Krusty Krab as its about to close, SpongeBob asks him if he could visit him. Squidward angrily declines, making him upset as he's never visited him and begs him to come for the rest of the day. The next day, SpongeBob asks him again, only for Squidward to tell him he wouldn't leave the comfort of his home to visit him.

SpongeBob asks Patrick at his house if Squidward's ever visited him. He says he came once to take back something he borrowed, and tells SpongeBob he needs to borrow something from Squidward so he'll have to visit him. Later, Squidward is cooking, when he accidentally drops his pepper onto his plant due to SpongeBob doing home renovation. When he goes to get his vacuum, it turns out SpongeBob has "borrowed" it. He calls SpongeBob to ask why he "borrowed" his vacuum cleaner and that he'll be over there in 20 minutes.

He puts his casserole in his oven and walks over to SpongeBob's house. When he enters, it turns out SpongeBob has made his living room look exactly like Squidward's. He tries to find his vacuum, while seeing that SpongeBob has replicated all the rooms in his house. While in the bathroom, when Squidward sees that SpongeBob knew he had rash cream, he suddenly shows up, scaring him and making him slip on the rash cream several times until eventually knocking himself out.

He wakes up downstairs and lies to SpongeBob that he has to use his bathroom again so he can find his vacuum. He finds his vacuum in SpongeBob's replica gallery room in the closet. After retrieving it, he gets out of the house, only to realize his house was burned down caused by him leaving his casserole in the oven too long. SpongeBob invites him to stay at his house, which makes him pass out in shock. At night, Squidward is sleeping at the replica home while SpongeBob and Gary sleep on the floor which used to be Squidward's house.

• Season 6 episodes

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Squid's Visit/To Squarepants or Not to Squarepants

• Episode aired Jul 17, 2009

Spongebob's pants have shrunk in the dryer, so he buys some new, round pants, but no one recognises him. Spongebob's pants have shrunk in the dryer, so he buys some new, round pants, but no one recognises him. Spongebob's pants have shrunk in the dryer, so he buys some new, round pants, but no one recognises him.

• Vincent Waller
• Casey Alexander
• Zeus Cervas
• Derek Iversen
• Clancy Brown
• Rodger Bumpass
• Bill Fagerbakke
• 2 User reviews

• Patrick Star

• Sandy Cheeks

• Customer #4
• Casey Alexander (segment Squid's Visit)
• Zeus Cervas (segment Squid's Visit)
• Derek Iversen (segment Squid's Visit)
• All cast & crew
• Production, box office & more at IMDbPro

Did you know

• Goofs In "To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants", the store owner tells SpongeBob they're not expecting a new shipment of square pants for months. However, three days later (at the time of the episode's narration), SpongeBob is wearing his square pants again.

SpongeBob SquarePants : Question two. Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Hmm, what's a felony?

Squidward : Being too darn happy all the time!

SpongeBob SquarePants : Oh, yeah! Lots and lots of felonies.

• Connections Featured in WatchMojo: Top 10 Worst SpongeBob SquarePants Episodes (2018)
• Soundtracks SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song Written by Stephen Hillenburg and Derek Drymon Composed by Hank Smith Music Performed by Patrick Pinney

User reviews 2

• iratecartoons
• Apr 24, 2021
• July 17, 2009 (United States)
• United States
• To SquarePants or Not to SquarePants
• Morena Films
• Nicktoons Network Studios
• See more company credits at IMDbPro

Technical specs

• Runtime 24 minutes

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Squid’s Visit

Dear Vikings

Squid’s Visit: SpongeBob is desperate to have Squidward visit him at home, but Squidward says there’s no reason for him to come over, especially when he’s perfectly comfortable in his own home. So SpongeBob decides the only way to get Squidward to visit him is if his house is exactly like Squidward’s house-every square inch of it! To Squarepants or Not to

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Squid's Visit

Squid's Visit/transcript

• View history
• [The episode starts at the Krusty Krab, outside. The scene then cuts to the inside of the Krusty Krab where Squidward is reading a book called Art. SpongeBob's eye appears through the kitchen window, and he looks at him. Mr. Krabs walks up to Squidward, putting his arm on the cash register-boat, smiling. He tries to clear his throat to attract attention.]
• Mr. Krabs: Bleh!
• Squidward: [doesn't look up from his book, but his head raises] May I help you?
• Mr. Krabs: [Squidward lowers his head back down again] Well... it's almost quittin' time, Squidward. You... got any big plans for after work? [Squidward licks his tentacle, and flips the page]
• Squidward: Nope. [Mr. Krabs frowns at him and SpongeBob blinks. Mr. Krabs walks away and SpongeBob disappears from the window, then appears again next to Squidward at the cash register-boat. He blinks, and that is when Squidward notices him and squints at him, he starts grunting furiously]
• SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. [his voice is a little bit lower] Pretty incredible shift, huh?
• Squidward: [sarcastically] If you say so.
• SpongeBob: Any plans after work?
• Squidward: [annoyed] No.
• SpongeBob: [relaxed voice] Yeah, me neither. Just gonna be hangin' at 'Casa de Esponja'. Feel free to drop by if you're in the neighborhood. [giggles] [Squidward disappears, leaving his work hat and his book, Art, behind. The scene cuts and Squidward is seen walking away from the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob follows after him] Hey, Squidward. Wait up! Squidward! I realized I really didn't extend a proper invitation back there. [holds out his hand] So what do ya say, Squidward? How about you come over to my house for a visit tonight? [Squidward doesn't respond. SpongeBob pokes him] Squidward? [pokes him again] Squidward? [pokes him again] Squidward? [pokes him once more] Squidward? [Squidward stops walking, and SpongeBob walks right into him. He backs up a few spaces]
• Squidward: SpongeBob, thank you so much for that lovely invitation but I must respectfully tell you I will never visit you. [yells] Ever! [his yell blows SpongeBob away. A chicken clucking is heard, and Squidward walks away. Squidward sighs] Take heart, Squidward, it'll all be over soon. [he stops to see SpongeBob sobbing and holding onto his leg]
• SpongeBob: [sobbing into a puddle] Oh, please come over for a visit, Squidward! It's been so long! I can't even remember your last visit! [keeps on crying]
• Squidward: That's probably because I've never visited you.
• SpongeBob: [continues sobbing childishly] Please? Please? Please? [Squidward is at the bus stop] Please?! Please?! [bus comes up, and when it leaves, the puddles from SpongeBob's crying are still there. This scene is a quick cameo at the laundromat] Please? [The scene goes to Barg'N-Mart] Please? [cuts to a restaurant] Please, please, please? [cuts to Squidward's house] Please, please, please? Please? Please? Please? [Squidward is still dragging SpongeBob. He picks SpongeBob up, and shoves him of his tentacles on his doormat, walks in, stomps on him, and closes the door. SpongeBob immediately gets up]
• SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. Maybe some other time. [waves and walks away. Time card "24 Hours Later" appears]
• French Narrator: Twenty-four hours later... [Squidward is again reading a book called 'Art' at the Krusty Krab, when SpongeBob appears. Squidward moans]
• SpongeBob: Hey-ho, Squidward. You got any... [Squidward grabs SpongeBob's lips]
• Squidward: Before you ask me that question, ask yourself this: Why would I leave the comfort of my home for your dirty little hovel ? [keeps pulling on SpongeBob's lips which immediately pull back onto his face. SpongeBob smiles]
• SpongeBob: What if I got a couple of throw pillows?
• SpongeBob: [cuts to the outside of Conch Street. The camera keeps on slowly zooming in on SpongeBob's house. Next, the camera is inside SpongeBob's house where he and Patrick are putting together a puzzle] Patrick? Has Squidward ever visited you at home? [Patrick is trying to work two pieces of a puzzle with are both two shades of green together. The camera immediately goes to the next clip which is directly on Patrick]
• Patrick: Only once. To take back some stuff I borrowed. [The clip goes to SpongeBob whose finger is on a puzzle piece in a light shade of green and who is moving it back and forth]
• SpongeBob: He said he wouldn't leave the comfort of his own home for my "dirty little hovel."
• Patrick: [holding some glue, possibly puzzle glue. He glues it on a puzzle piece spilling lots of it onto the table] Borrow something, and he'll have to come over to get it back. [smushes the already-glued puzzle piece into the big pile of glue] Uhh! [scoots out of his chair and walks out of the kitchen] Well... hey, thanks for lettin' me play puzzle with you. See ya later! [goes outside, SpongeBob snaps his fingers]
• SpongeBob: That's it!
• Squidward: [from inside] A stick of butter, and just a touch of pepper... [Squidward is at his table cooking, pouring salt.] Dya—ah! [hammering on nails is heard, surprising Squidward, causing the pepper to fly up in the air, and to land in one of Squidward's plants. As it tilts, some of the pepper spills onto the rug] Not on the rug! [Goes to his window and opens it up] SpongeBob! Will you keep it down? I am trying to cook! [The window to SpongeBob's house opens, and there is SpongeBob holding a hammer]
• SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Squidward! Just doin' a little home improvement.
• Squidward: Well, you made me spill pepper all over my imported rug! [points his tentacle down and shuts the window. SpongeBob waves, smiling]
• SpongeBob: Oh, okay, Squidward. [Squidward sighs]
• Squidward: SpongeBob! [walks toward his closet] I need the right tool for the job. Huh? [sees a little note with a smiley sun, and SpongeBob in Squidward's thoughts reads what it says]
• SpongeBob: Dear Squidward, thanks for lending me your vacuum cleaner! Sincerely, SpongeBob SquarePants. [the note turns into SpongeBob's face who says...] Oh, P.S. [laughs each time the camera zooms on Squidward's face. Cuts to SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob hits his desk, and the telephone flies up in the air, and lands in SpongeBob's hand. SpongeBob is in a relaxed mood.]
• SpongeBob: SquarePants residence. [Squidward's red phone is seen]
• Squidward: Why do you have my vacuum cleaner?
• SpongeBob: [excited] Squidward! [wiggles fingers] It's been a while since I last got a call from my favorite next-door neighbor! [Squidward slaps his head]
• Squidward: [angered] That's because I've never called you! Now, why have you stolen my vacuum cleaner?!
• SpongeBob: I didn't steal it, silly, I borrowed it.
• Squidward: Are you done cleaning up that dingy hole you call home?
• SpongeBob: [excited] You won't even recognize the place, Squidward! [gasps excitedly]
• Squidward: Yeah, probably not. [SpongeBob keeps on gasp-like panting. Goes to the window between Squidward's and SpongeBob's houses who are looking at each other by their windows] I'll be over to get my vacuum in twenty minutes. [slams the window shut]
• SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward is finally coming over for a visit! [goes to Squidward putting a casserole in the oven, mumbling in anger]
• SpongeBob: [Cuts to the next scene. Squidward is knocking on SpongeBob's door. The door opens to see SpongeBob. The inside of his house is seen dark green with SpongeBob smiling] Squidward! I've been expecting you! Welcome to my humble abode! I hope that you will find comfort. And please don't hesitate to ask me if there's anything I can-- [Squidward pushes SpongeBob out of the way, mumbling softly]
• Squidward: I just want my vacuum back-- [with a shocked look on his face] You've made an exact replica of my living room! [camera pans left to right revealing everything in Squidward's house]
• SpongeBob: [Squidward's mouth drops wide open] Well, you said you wouldn't leave the comfort of your home. [puts out his hands] So I brought the comfort here! [louder voice] Isn't it great?! [SpongeBob laughs, Squidward gets angry]
• Squidward: [yelling] No! It isn't! You can't just steal my decorating style, and... [slaps his face, and rubs his tentacle down it] Never mind. Just give me my vacuum. [Ignoring Squidward, SpongeBob holds up a cup of iced tea with a blue bendy straw, a lemon, and a pink umbrella]
• SpongeBob: Would you care for a cool and refreshing iced tea? [Squidward throws it down]
• Squidward: No. [SpongeBob holds another dish up]
• SpongeBob: Hot hors d'oeuvres? [Squidward throws it down]
• Squidward: No. [holds another dish up]
• SpongeBob: Nachos? [Squidward throws it down]
• SpongeBob: Blancmange?
• Squidward: I don't even know what that is! [throws it down] Please just give me my vacuum so I can get back home. I have a casserole in the oven!
• SpongeBob: [raises his finger, still ignoring Squidward] Yes, of course. [brings Squidward to the couch] Please take a seat while I go grab your vacuum. [pats it] Please make yourself at home! [Squidward mumbles in anger as SpongeBob fluffs a pillow] Enjoying your visit so far, Squidward?
• Squidward: This is not a visit. You are going to get my vacuum. [grabs the pillow SpongeBob is fluffing from him] And stop fluffing this pillow!
• SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, just yell if you need anything. [walks away]
• Squidward: Imbecile. [gasps] How did he do it? [pans across Squidward's coffee table] He got my coffee table, my vase, snack bowl, coasters, and my Art of the Clarinet Coffee Table Book. [he picks up the pillow SpongeBob was fluffing] And this pillow looks just like the one Mommy made for me. He even copied her stitch signature! "For Squiddy, with love, Mama." [yells, SpongeBob appears out of nowhere]
• SpongeBob: You yelled?
• Squidward: [angry] Never mind! I'll find the vacuum myself! [puts down the pillow and walks away]
• SpongeBob: Then okay! Make yourself at home! Squidward sure seems to be enjoying his visit.
• Squidward: [peeks through an entrance in the hallway] My hallway... [blinks as he sees a dent in the wall] Dear Neptune! [shivers, shudders, sweats and blinks] He even got the chip in the paint from when I moved in! [he shudderly walks down the hallway] Okay, Squiddy. Don't get creeped out. Just get the vacuum and go home. [opens a door] Oh, right. Isn't this neat? My bathroom. [he flushes the toilet, and water comes out like a fountain. He walks over to the sink] I have to give him credit, though. Every detail is correct. [opens the medicine cabinet] How does he know the exact contents of my medicine cabinet? [his eyes grow at his rash cream] My rash cream? [closes the cabinet] That little sneak!
• SpongeBob: Did someone say "rash cream?" [Squidward screams in surprise and runs into the wall, making some of the cream jump out of the bottle]
• Squidward: [holding his nose] SpongeBob, you idiot!
• SpongeBob: Squidward, the rash cream. [Squidward keeps slipping on the rash cream and falls causing more rash cream to come out of the bottle] Oops. [Squidward comes out wearing his shower curtain over his head, and slips on the rash cream which causes more rash cream to come out] Oh, no! [Squidward has a drawer stuck in his neck, and he slips on the rash cream once more, and his head falls right into his toilet. The lid then falls and flushes. SpongeBob walks right toward him] I don't think I have a cream for that.
• Squidward: [sleeping on a pillow on the couch his Mom made for him. He then wakes up with a gasp, looks both ways twice, and sighs peacefully] Oh, what a horrible nightmare. [SpongeBob pops up from behind the couch]
• SpongeBob: So, are you enjoying your stay at 'Chez Spongè?' [Squidward screams rocking the entire house. Squidward is now freaked out with his teeth showing]
• Squidward: Uh... will you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the bathroom again. [SpongeBob points at him, and winks at him]
• SpongeBob: Tsk. [Squidward walks through a door] Hurry back, Squidward! [Squidward shuts the door]
• Squidward: [sweating] I’ve gotta find that vacuum and get out of here! [he runs up some stairs to another hallway]
• Squidward: [opens the door to a dark room, turns on the lights, sees that the room is filled with all of his self-portraits and screams. Petrified, he walks to the center of the room to view the paintings that covered every inch of the walls] He copied all 492 of my self-portraits... [camera directs on three of them individually] ...and they're better than mine! [starts sniveling, crying, and whimpering, sits down on the rug, and starts rocking himself] He even got the rug right. Get a hold of yourself, Squiddy, old bean. This doesn't mean anything. [touches the rug] This...all of this is just... [smiles] Mimicry! He doesn't possess your style, or your decorating acumen, or your love of the finer things. In fact, the only thing that he has is... is... my vacuum cleaner! And I'll remedy that... [walks over to a closet] posthaste! [he opens the door to see the things SpongeBob usually has in his house along with his vacuum cleaner, Squidward gasps] A-ha! He put you in here along with all his bad tastes! You're coming home... [he pulls on the vacuum without success, grunts and pulls on it harder] Home... with me... with me... [it finally comes out along with everything else, and Squidward yells as it all collapses on him, tilting the self-portraits, which are now crooked]
• Squidward: [Gary's food bowl lands on Squidward, who is on the couch, which is tipped over. Squidward sits up to realize he has the vacuum stuck inside of him] SpongeBob! [he loses balance out of the room, and falls down the stairs. He stops on one stair for the vacuum whirring, and his next step makes him fall off the final stairs before choking out the vacuum] Is it really you? [switches the vacuum to on, allowing it to whir. He picks it up] It is you! [kisses it] Come on, baby. You and I will walk out of this horror show the way we walked into it: with dignity and aplomb. [he walks out of SpongeBob's house to hear a siren, and sees firemen hosing his burnt house, while SpongeBob and Patrick are there] My house...
• Patrick: You just missed the fire. [Squidward walks to the firemen]
• Squidward: What happened to my house?! [fireman holds up a burnt casserole]
• Fireman: Oh, some knucklehead left a casserole in the oven.
• Squidward: [yelling] SpongeBob!
• SpongeBob: Aw, don't worry, Squidward. You're more than welcome to stay at my house until you get your house fixed. [Squidward becomes shocked with ominous music playing, he suddenly imagines himself at a table with his vacuum cleaner at the seat across from him]
• Squidward: Why, yes, I'd love another spot of tea, Mr. Vacuum Cleaner. [holds up the burnt casserole] Care for some casserole? [crazed laughter. Camera zooms in on his pupil, and the scene cuts back to real life]
• SpongeBob: Squidward? You okay? Squidward? [Squidward faints] [yelling] Squidward! [camera zooms out to see the burnt house with the fireman hosing again.]
• [Scene cuts to nighttime. Squidward was inside SpongeBob's replica. He was about to sleep in his bed.]
• Squidward: [sighs] Replica, sweet replica.
• [Camera goes to outside as Squidward turns out the light. It moves to Squidward's burnt house to see SpongeBob and Gary there. SpongeBob in a sheet, and Gary in a piece of paper with his bowl. SpongeBob yawns and stretches]
• SpongeBob: It sure was nice having Squidward over for a visit, eh, Gary? [he goes to sleep. While snoring, his sheet turns to ashes.]
• Gary: Meow. [screen fades out to black as the episode ends]
• 1 Season 14
• 2 SpongeBob SquarePants (character)
• 3 The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants

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Episode Transcript: Squid's Visit

Episode Article: Squid's Visit

[ edit ] Characters

• SpongeBob SquarePants
• Patrick Star
• Squidward Tentacles
• Eugene H. Krabs

[ edit ] Dialogue

(episode starts at the Krusty Krab, outside. Next scene, it is in the Krusty Krab. Squidward is reading a magazine on Art, and he blinks. SpongeBob's eye appears through the kitchen window, and he looks at him. Mr. Krabs walks up to Squidward putting his arm on the cash register-boat, smiling. He tries to clear his throat. Squidward blinks again)

Mr. Krabs: Bleh!

Squidward: (he doesn't look up from his book, but his head raises) May I help you?

Mr. Krabs: (Squidward lowers his head back down again) Well... it's almost quittin' time, Squidward. You... got any big plans for after work? (Squidward licks his tentacle, and flips the page).

Squidward: Nope. (Mr. Krabs frowns at him. SpongeBob blinks. Mr. Krabs walks away. SpongeBob disappears from the window, and appears again next to Squidward at the cash register-boat. He blinks, and that is when Squidward notices him, squints his eyes on him, and starts grunting furiously).

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. (his voice is a little bit lower) Pretty incredible shift, huh?

Squidward: (sarcastically) If you say so.

SpongeBob: Any plans after work?

Squidward: (annoyed): No.

SpongeBob: (relaxed voice) Yeah, me neither. Just gonna be hanging at "casa de esponja". Feel free to drop by if you're in the neighborhood. (giggles)

(Squidward disappears leaving his work hat and his Art magazine behind. Next, Squidward is seen walking away from the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob follows after him)

SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward. Wait up! Squidward! I realized I really didn't extend a proper invitation back there. (holds out his hand) So what do you say, Squidward? Why don't you come over to my house for a visit tonight? (Squidward says nothing. SpongeBob pokes him) Squidward? (Pokes him again. Then he raises his voice a little bit louder) Squidward? (Pokes him again) Squidward? (Pokes him once more) Squidward? (Squidward stops walking, and SpongeBob walks right into him. He backs up a few spaces)

Squidward: SpongeBob, thank you so much for that lovely invitation but I must respectfully tell you I will never visit you. (yells) EVER!!! (His yell blows SpongeBob away. SpongeBob hits the ground with the sound of a chicken cluck, and Squidward walks away. Squidward sighs). Take heart, Squidward, it'll all be over soon. (He stops to see SpongeBob is sobbing and holding onto his leg)

SpongeBob: (sobbing into a puddle) Oh, please come over for a visit, Squidward! (his eyes turn into giant black circles with three giant holes in them) It's been so long! I can't even remember your last visit! (He keeps on crying)

Squidward: That's probably because I've never visited you.

SpongeBob: (sobbing) Please? Please? Please?! (Squidward is at the bus stop) Please!!?? Please!!?? (A bus comes up, and when it leaves, the puddles from SpongeBob's crying are still there. Next scene is a quick visit to the laundromat) Please? (Next scene is another visit to the Barg'N-Mart) Please? (Next scene is at a restaurant) Please, please? Please? (Next scene is back at Squidward's house) Please, please? Pleeeaase? Pleaaaaaase? Please? Please? (Squidward is still dragging SpongeBob furiously who picks him up, and shoves two of his tentacles on his doormat, walks in, steps on him, and closes the door. He immediately gets up)

SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. Maybe some other time! (waves and walks away) (Time card "24 Hours Later" appears, in a design the same as the Slide Whistle Stooges title card)

French Narrator: Twenty-four hours later... (Squidward is again reading a book called "Art" at the Krusty Krab, when SpongeBob appears. Squidward moans).

SpongeBob: Hey-ho, Squidward. You got any... (Squidward grabs SpongeBob's lips)

Squidward: Before you ask me that question, ask yourself this: Why would I want to leave the comfort of MY home for your dirty LITTLE HOVEL? (he keeps pulling on SpongeBob's lips which immediately pull back onto his face. SpongeBob smiles)

SpongeBob: What if I got a couple of throw pillows?

SpongeBob: (Bubbles float indicating the next scene, which starts outside at Conch Street. The camera keeps on slowly zooming in on SpongeBob's house. Next, the camera is inside SpongeBob's house where he and Patrick are putting together a puzzle). Patrick? (Patrick blinks) Has Squidward ever visited you at home? (Patrick is trying to work two pieces of a puzzle with are both two shades of green together. The camera immediately goes to the next clip which is directly on Patrick).

Patrick: Only once. To take back some stuff I borrowed. (This clip is directly on SpongeBob whose finger is on a puzzle piece in a light shade of green and who is moving it back and forth).

SpongeBob: He said he wouldn't leave the comfort of his own home for MY dirty little hovel.

Patrick: (He is holding some glue, possibly puzzle glue. He glues it on a puzzle piece spilling lots of it onto the table). Borrow something, and he'll have to come over to get it back. (He smashes the already-glued puzzle piece into the big pile of glue). Uhh! (Patrick scoots out of his chair and walks out of the kitchen). Well... hey, thanks for lettin' me play puzzle with you. See ya later! (he opens the door revealing outside-- huh? SpongeBob snaps his fingers)

SpongeBob: That's it! (bubble-wipe to the front of Squidward's house.

Squidward (from inside): A stick of butter, and just a touch of pepper (This clip is inside of his house, where Squidward is at his table cooking, pouring salt. On the table are also a few dirty dishes that seem to have been smeared in chocolate, a bottle full of purple liquid, some purple spills, and salt). Ho-yahhh! (hammering on nails are heard, surprising Squidward, causing the pepper to fly up in the air, and to land in one of Squidward's plant. As it tilts, some of the pepper spills onto the rug). Not on the rug! (he angers furiously, and goes to his window and opens it up. (By SpongeBob's house is a ladder). SpongeBob! Will you keep it down?? I am trying to cook! (The window to SpongeBob's house opens, and there is SpongeBob holding a hammer).

SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Squidward! Just doin' a little home improvement.

Squidward: Well, you made me spill pepper all over my imported rug! (points his tentacle down. Shuts the window. SpongeBob waves, smiling).

SpongeBob: Oh-okay, Squidward. (Squidward sighs)

Squidward: SpongeBob! (walks toward his closet) I need the right tool for the job. Huh? (he sees a little note with a smiley sun, and SpongeBob in Squidward's thoughts reads what it says)...

SpongeBob in Squidward's thoughts: Dear Squidward, Thanks For lending me your vacuum cleaner! Sincerely, SpongeBob SquarePants. (the note turns into SpongeBob's face who says)... Oh, P.S., (laughs each time the camera zooms on Squidward's face. SpongeBob's purple telephone, though usually it is a conch shell rings. SpongeBob hits his desk, and the telephone flies up in the air, and lands in SpongeBob's hand who is in a relaxed mood, seeming like by his face).

SpongeBob in person: SquarePants residence. (Squidward's red phone is seen, and Squidward is in an unhappy mood, by the looks on his face).

Squidward: Why do you have my vacuum cleaner?

SpongeBob: (seemingly excited): Squidward! (wiggles fingers) It's been a while since I last got a call from my favorite next-door neighbor! (Squidward slaps his head)

Squidward: (angered): That's because I've never called you! Now, why have you stolen my vacuum cleaner?

SpongeBob: I didn't steal it, silly, I borrowed it.

Squidward: Are you done cleaning up that dingy hole you call home?

SpongeBob: (very excited): You won't even recognize the place, Squidward (gasps excitedly)

Squidward: Yeah, probably not. (SpongeBob keeps on gasp-like panting. This clip is on the window between Squidward's and SpongeBob's houses who are looking at each other by their windows. I'll be over to get my vacuum in twenty minutes. (slams window shut)

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward is finally coming over for a visit! (this clip is at Squidward's house putting a casserole in the oven, mumbling and angers).

SpongeBob: Bubbles float indicating the next scene. Squidward is knocking on SpongeBob's door. Squidward blinks. The door opens to see SpongeBob. The inside of his house is seen dark green. SpongeBob is smiling). Squidward! I've been expecting you! Welcome to my humble of ode! I hope that you will find comfort. And please don't hesitate to ask me if there's anything I can... (Squidward pushes SpongeBob out of the way, mumbling softly).

Squidward: I just want my vacuum back... (he makes a shocked look on his face) You've made an exact replica of my living room! (camera pans left to right revealing everything in Squidward's house).

SpongeBob: (Squidward's mouth is dropped wide open) Well, you said you wouldn't leave the comfort of my home, (puts out his hands) so I brought the comfort here! (louder voice): Isn't it GREAT!?!? (SpongeBob laughs, Squidward angers).

Squidward: (yelling): NO! IT ISN'T!! You can't just steal my decorating style, and... (slaps his face, and rubs his tentacle down it). Never mind. Just give me my vacuum. (SpongeBob holds up a cup of iced tea with a blue bendy straw, a lemon, and a pink umbrella.

SpongeBob: Would you care for a cool and refreshing iced tea? (Squidward throws it down).

Squidward: No. (SpongeBob holds another dish up)

SpongeBob: Hot o'durves? (Squidward throws it down).

Squidward: No. (holds another dish up)

SpongeBob: Nachos? (Squidward throws it down)

Squidward: No. (SpongeBob holds ANOTHER dish up)

SpongeBob: Blancmange?

Squidward: I-I don't even know that that is! (throws it down) Please just give me my vacuum so I can get back home. I have a casserole in the oven!

SpongeBob: (he raises his finger) Yes, of course. (brings Squidward to the couch) Please take a seat while I go grab your vacuum. (pats it) Please make yourself at home! (Squidward mumbles and angers. SpongeBob is fluffing a pillow). Enjoying your visit so far, Squidward?

Squidward: This is not a visit. (he blinks) You are going to get my vacuum. (grabs the pillow SpongeBob is fluffing from him). And stop fluffing this pillow!

SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward, just yell if you need anything. (walks away)

Squidward: Imbecile.

Squidward: (blinks, gasps) How did he do it? (it pans across Squidward's coffee table) He got my coffee table, my vase, snack table, coasters, and my Art of the Clarinet Coffee Table Book! (he picks up the pillow SpongeBob was fluffing). And this pillow looks just like the one Mommy made for me. He even copied her stitch signature! "For Squiddy, with love, Mama." (yells. SpongeBob appears out of nowhere. A few bubbles appear).

SpongeBob: You yelled?

Squidward: (angry): Never mind. I'll find the vacuum myself! (puts down the pillow and walks away).

SpongeBob: Then okay! Make yourself at home! Squidward sure seems to be enjoying his visit.

Squidward: (peeks through an entrance in the hallway) My hallway... (blinks as he sees a dent in the wall) Dear Neptune! (shivers, shudders, sweats, blinks). He event got the chip in the paint from when I moved in! (he slowly] walks down the hallway). Okay, Squiddy. (blinks). Don't get creeped out. Just get the vacuum (blinks) and go home. (opens a door, and blinks). Oh, right. Isn't this neat? (blinks) My bathroom. (he flushes the toilet, and water comes out like a fountain). He walks over to the sink). I have to give him credit, though. (blinks). Every detail is correct. (opens the medicine cabinet). How does he know the exact contents (blinks) of my medicine cabinet? (his eyes grow at his rash cream) My rash cream?? (closes the cabinet) THAT LITTLE SNEAK!! (he screams as SpongeBob appears)

SpongeBob: Did someone say "rash cream?" (Squidward runs into the wall, making some of the cream jump out of the bottle).

Squidward: (he is holding his nose) SpongeBob, you idiot!

SpongeBob: Squidward, the rash cream. (Squidward keeps saying "ow" as he slips on the rash cream that fell. He slips and falls causing more rash cream to come out of the bottle). Oops. (Squidward comes wearing his shower curtain over his head, and he slips on the rash cream that fell. That causes more rash cream to come out). Oh, no! (Squidward has a drawer stuck in his neck, and he slips on the rash cream once more, and his head falls right into his toilet. The lid then falls and flushes. SpongeBob walks right toward him) I don't think I have a cream for that.

Squidward: (he is sleeping on the pillow on the couch his Mom made for him. He then wakes up, and gasps, looking both ways, then sighs peacefully). Oh, what a horrible nightmare. (SpongeBob pops up from behind the couch)

SpongeBob: So, are you enjoying your stay at Chez Spongè? (Squidward screams rocking the entire house. Squidward is now nervous with his grin showing)

Squidward: Uh... will you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the bathroom again. (SpongeBob points at him, and winks at him)

SpongeBob: Tsk. (Squidward is walking through a door). Hurry back, Squidward! (Squidward shuts the door)

Squidward: (he is sweating) I gotta find that vacuum and get out of here! (runs up the stairs to another hallway)

Squidward: (opens the door to the room, turns on the lights and screams, Squidward walks in the center of the room, petrified). He copied all 492 of my self portraits... (camera directs on three of them individually, a sad crying clown, a distorted Squidward, and a statue with a fig leaf) ...and they're better than mine! (blinks, cries and whimpers, sits down on the rug, rocks himself, and feels the rug). He even got the rug right. Get a hold of yourself, Squiddy, old bean. This doesn't mean anything. (touches the rug). This... (blinks) all of this is just... (blinks, then smiles). Mimicry! He doesn't possess your style, or your decorating acumen, (blinks) or your love of the finer things. (blinks) In fact, the only thing that he has is... (blinks) is... MY VACUUM (blinks) CLEANER! And I'll remedy that... (walks over to a closet) posthaste! (he opens the door to see the things SpongeBob usually has in his house... along with his vacuum cleaner! Squidward gasps). A-ha! He put you in (blinks) here along with all his bad taste! (blinks) You're coming home... (he pulls on the vacuum) (grunts and pulls on it harder): Home... with me... with me... (it finally comes out along with everything else, and Squidward yells as it all collapses on him, and slams into the wall, tilting the self-portraits. Gary's food bowl lands on Squidward who is on the couch with the couch laying down. Squidward sits up to realize he has the vacuum stuck inside of him). (he says this with the vacuum whirring): SpongeBob! (he loses balance out of the room, and falls down the stairs. He stops on one stair for the vacuum whirring, and his next step makes him fall of the final stairs before choking out the vacuum). Is it really you? (switches the vacuum to on, allowing it to whir. He picks it up). It is you! (kisses it) Come on, baby. (blinks) We are gonna walk out of this horror show (blinks) the way we walked into it; with dignity and applaud. (he walks out of SpongeBob's house to hear a siren, and sees firemen hosing his burnt house, while SpongeBob and Patrick are there)

Patrick: You just missed the fire. (Squidward walks to the firemen)

Squidward: What happened to my house? (fireman holds up a burnt casserole)

Fireman: Oh, some knucklehead left a casserole in the oven.

Squidward: SPONGEBOB!! (screams)

SpongeBob: Aw, don't worry. You're more than welcome to stay at my home until you get your house fixed. (Squidward becomes shocked with ominous music playing, he suddenly disappears to him at a table with his vacuum cleaner at the seat across from him)

Squidward: Why, yes, I'd love another spot of tea, Mr. Vacuum Cleaner. (holds up the burnt casserole) Care for some casserole?? (crazed laughter. Camera zooms in on his pupil, and he reappears to the real life)

SpongeBob: Squidward? You okay? Squidward? (Squidward falls down) SQUIDWARD!! (screams. Bubble-wipe to that night)

Squidward: (he is in the replica of his house SpongeBob made) Ah... Replica, sweet replica. (turns out the light. It goes at Squidward's burnt house to see SpongeBob and Gary there. SpongeBob yawns and stretches)

SpongeBob: It sure was nice having Squidward over for a visit, eh, Gary? (snores as his sheet turns to ashes)

Gary: Meow.

• Episode Transcripts/Season 6

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Squid's Visit

• View history

"Squid's Visit" is an episode from Season 6 .

• 1.1 Time Cards Shown
• 1.2 Characters
• 3 Trivia/Goofs

Time Cards Shown [ ]

• 24 Hours Later

Characters [ ]

• Mr. Krabs (Beginning)
• Mama Tentacles (Mentioned)
• SpongeBob's House
• The Krusty Krab
• Patrick's House

SpongeBob tries to get Squidward to visit his house., but since it's not working, SpongeBob decides to decorate his house with Squidward's house's details exactly. Squidward must explore SpongeBob's house to fetch his borrowed vacuum!

Trivia/Goofs [ ]

• Squidward has already been in SpongeBob's house in I Was a Teenage Gary , SpongeBob Meets the Strangler , Party Pooper Pants , Can You Spare a Dime? , Night Light , and Pineapple Fever .
• Mama Tentacles is mentioned in this episode.
• Patrick said that Squidward visited his house once. In Patrick SmartPants , he tested Squidward's brain fluids inside the rock. And in I'm with Stupid , he told Patrick his parents arrived. Squidward also visited Patrick's rock in Breath of Fresh Squidward .
• Squidward said that the pepper went all over his imported rug, although only a tiny speck went on it.
• Two games based on the episode can be played at SpongeBob.com . Cook It 'n' Book It and Squidward's Sizzlin Scare are based on looking for the vacuum and the burning casserole.
• This is the second time there is a replica inside a building. The first time was in Welcome to the Chum Bucket when Plankton made a replica of the Krusty Krab kitchen in the Chum Bucket kitchen.
• The reason Squidward's vacuum looks different is that in House Fancy the old one blew up.
• This is the first episode where Squidward's house caught fire.
• The German Title is, " Besuch von Thaddäus ", which means " A Visit from Squidward ".
• The French title is "La visite de l'or", which means " The Visit of Gold"
• 1 The Power Within
• 2 Ghost Host

Top 20 Worst SpongeBob SquarePants Episodes

#20: “atlantis squarepantis”, #19: “spongebob, you’re fired”, #18: “waiting”, #17: “to love a patty”, #16: “squid’s visit”, #15: “truth or square”, #14: “rodeo daze”, #13: “choir boys”, #12: “someone’s in the kitchen with sandy”, #11: “demolition doofus”, #10: “boating buddies”, #9: “pet sitter pat”, #8: “big sister sam”, #7: “ink lemonade”, #6: “face freeze”, #5: “stuck in the wringer”, #4: “house fancy”, #3: “the splinter”, #2: “a pal for gary”, #1: “one coarse meal”.

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Le Corbusier’s triumphant return to Moscow

The exhibition of French prominent architect Le Corbusier, held in The Pushkin Museum, brings together the different facets of his talent. Source: ITAR-TASS / Stanislav Krasilnikov

The largest Le Corbusier exhibition in a quarter of a century celebrates the modernist architect’s life and his connection with the city.

Given his affinity with Moscow, it is perhaps surprising that the city had never hosted a major examination of Le Corbusier’s work until now. However, the Pushkin Museum and the Le Corbusier Fund have redressed that discrepancy with the comprehensive exhibition “Secrets of Creation: Between Art and Architecture,” which runs until November 18.

Presenting over 400 exhibits, the exhibition charts Le Corbusier’s development from the young man eagerly sketching buildings on a trip around Europe, to his later years as a prolific and influential architect.

The exhibition brings together the different facets of his talent, showing his publications, artwork and furniture design alongside photographs, models and blueprints of his buildings.

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Irina Antonova, director of the Pushkin Museum, said, “It was important for us to also exhibit his art. People know Le Corbusier the architect, but what is less well know is that he was also an artist. Seeing his art and architecture together gives us an insight into his mind and his thought-processes.”

What becomes obvious to visitors of the exhibition is that Le Corbusier was a man driven by a single-minded vision of how form and lines should interact, a vision he was able to express across multiple genres.

The upper wings of the Pushkin Museum are separated by the central stairs and two long balconies. The organizers have exploited this space, allowing comparison of Le Corbusier’s different art forms. On one side there are large paintings in the Purist style he adapted from Cubism, while on the other wall there are panoramic photographs of his famous buildings.

Le Corbusier was a theorist, producing many pamphlets and manifestos which outlined his view that rigorous urban planning could make society more productive and raise the average standard of living.

It was his affinity with constructivism, and its accompanying vision of the way architecture could shape society, which drew him to visit the Soviet Union, where, as he saw it, there existed a “nation that is being organized in accordance with its new spirit.”

The exhibition’s curator Jean-Louis Cohen explains that Le Corbusier saw Moscow as “somewhere he could experiment.” Indeed, when the architect was commissioned to construct the famous Tsentrosoyuz Building, he responded by producing a plan for the entire city, based on his concept of geometric symmetry.

Falling foul of the political climate

He had misread the Soviet appetite for experimentation, and as Cohen relates in his book Le Corbusier, 1887-1965, drew stinging attacks from the likes of El Lissitsky, who called his design “a city on paper, extraneous to living nature, located in a desert through which not even a river must be allowed to pass (since a curve would contradict the style).”

Not to be deterred, Le Corbusier returned to Moscow in 1932 and entered the famous Palace of the Soviets competition, a skyscraper that was planned to be the tallest building in the world.

This time he fell foul of the changing political climate, as Stalin’s growing suspicion of the avant-garde led to the endorsement of neo-classical designs for the construction, which was ultimately never built due to the Second World War.

Situated opposite the proposed site for the Palace of the Soviets, the exhibition offers a tantalizing vision of what might have been, presenting scale models alongside Le Corbusier’s plans, and generating the feeling of an un-built masterpiece.

Despite Le Corbusier’s fluctuating fortunes in Soviet society, there was one architect who never wavered in his support . Constructivist luminary Alexander Vesnin declared that the Tsentrosoyuz building was the "the best building to arise in Moscow for over a century.”

The exhibition sheds light on their professional and personal relationship, showing sketches and letters they exchanged. In a radical break from the abstract nature of most of Le Corbusier’s art, this corner of the exhibition highlights the sometimes volatile architect’s softer side, as shown through nude sketches and classical still-life paintings he sent to Vesnin.

“He was a complex person” says Cohen. “It’s important to show his difficult elements; his connections with the USSR, with Mussolini. Now that relations between Russia and the West have improved, we can examine this. At the moment there is a new season in Le Corbusier interpretation.” To this end, the exhibition includes articles that have never previously been published in Russia, as well as Le Corbusier’s own literature.

Completing Le Corbusier’s triumphant return to Russia is a preview of a forthcoming statue, to be erected outside the Tsentrosoyuz building. Even if she couldn’t quite accept his vision of a planned city, Moscow is certainly welcoming him back.

All rights reserved by Rossiyskaya Gazeta.

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Things to do in Moscow: how to visit Moscow | Unmissable, cool & unusual

• September 2, 2023

What are the best things to do in Moscow? What to do in Moscow? First, I will list the main places to visit by theme, passing by the must-sees, but also more unusual places in Moscow. Then, I will describe what to see in Moscow in one day and how to visit Moscow in 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 days. Let’s go!

Good to know. For more information, click on the places to open the dedicated blog posts.

Main places to visit in Moscow & best things to do in Moscow

I worked in Moscow and I loved this city for its dynamism and energy. We find there from time to time to see friends, remember good memories and enjoy this giant city! Then the time has come for us to share with you our practical guide.

TOP 5 must-see places in Moscow

• Moscow Red Square
• St. Basil’s Cathedral
• Cathedral of Christ the Savior
• Bolshoi Theatre

Places of cultural, historical and religious interest in Moscow

• Novodevichy Convent and cemetery
• Tretyakov Gallery
• Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts
• Kremlin Izmaïlovo (pseudo-historic place, recently built in the image of the old, one of the best things to do in Moscow for your Instagram account 😉 )
• Park and ancient village of Kolomenskoye

Visit Moscow of the Soviet era

• Moscow State University and Sparrows Hill
• VDNKh and the Museum of Astronautics, one of the key landmarks of the Soviet era in Moscow
• GULAG Museum
• Metro stations
• The Stalinist skyscrapers, scattered all over the city

Less touristy places in Moscow

• Gorky Park and the GARAGE museum
• The old Krasny Oktyabr factory
• Zaryadye Park
• Center for Contemporary Art, WINZAVOD
• Business center, Moscow City

Main districts of Moscow to visit

• Patriarch Ponds
• Tchistye Prudy
• Kuznetsky most
• Arbat Street

However, regardless of the length of your stay, whether you are going to visit Moscow in 4 days or in 2, you need a visa. The article Obtaining a tourist visa for Russia could then be useful in any case.

What to do and see in Moscow in one day?

List of things to see and do in Moscow in one day:

• Go to Red Square
• Visit St. Basil’s Cathedral
• See Kremlin walls (but not to visit)
• Visit Cathedral of Christ the Savior
• Discover Kuznetsky most districts and see Bolshoi Theatre building
• And if you have time at the end of the day: go to the Sparrows Hill or to the Moscow City for a beautiful view

Things to do in Moscow in 2 days

If you want to visit Moscow in 2 days, there are 2 purposes: do not miss the essential places of Moscow and optimize travel.

• First day: Red Square , Saint Basil’s Cathedral , Zariadye Park, Bolshoi Theatre , Kremlin
• Day 2: Cathedral of Christ the Savior, the former Krasny Oktyabr factory on Balchug Island, Gorky Park, Moscow State University (one of the Seven Sisters buildings ) and Sparrow Hill

As 2 days os really short, be sure to choose an accommodation in the best districts where to stay in Moscow .

Walking on Red Square in Moscow: one of the unmissable things to do in Moscow

Iconic place and one of the must-see places in Moscow and even in Russia! Besides, if there was only one place to visit in Moscow in 2 days, this place would then be Red Square, without hesitation. Therefore, starting the city tour with Red Square is ideal . Several buildings are on the square, but not all of them have to be visited. Check out my blog post about Moscow’s Red Square in detail to learn more and not miss anything.

Visiting Saint-Basil’s Cathedral inside

Even more emblematic than Moscow’s Red Square! Built in the middle of the 16th century under the orders of Tsar Ivan Le Terrible, this cathedral is one of the most beautiful monuments of Orthodox art, and definitely one of the unmissable places in Moscow. Visiting Saint-Basil’s Cathedral inside is one of the most beautiful things to do in Moscow!

• Visit estimate time : 1h30
• Entry ticket : 700 RUB. Tickets can be purchased on the cathedral’s official website 45 days before the tour.
• Audio guide (recommended): 500 RUB
• Opening hours : June to August 10 am-6pm; from November to April: 11 am-5pm; May, September, October 11 am-5pm. Cathedral closed on Wednesdays. Entrance is closed 45 minutes before closing.
• Find out more in the dedicated article: Saint Basil’s Cathedral in Moscow

Take a walk in Zariadye park: one of the coolest things to do in Moscow after visiting Red Square

Zaryadie Park is just a 10-minute walk from St. Basil’s Cathedral, so it’s easy to include in your itinerary if you’re going to visit Moscow in 2 days. From its heights, you can see the red walls of the Kremlin. But, the most impressive point of view is the platform which overlooks the Moskva river. A must see! And clearly one of the coolest things to do in Moscow!

• Open 24 hours a day
• Good to know! Park Zaryadye is also a place to visit in Moscow in winter. Find out more here: What to do in Moscow in winter?

See the Bolshoi Theatre and discover the Kuznetsky Most district

The Bolshoi Theatre is the most famous Russian theater in the world. The most economical way to see a presentation at the Bolshoi Theater is to take the tickets on the theater’s official website in advance, so here is our tutorial to help you: How to buy entrance tickets to the Bolshoi? In addition, several pedestrian or one-way streets

The Bolshoi Theater is the most famous Russian theater in the world. The most economical way to see a presentation at the Bolshoi Theater is to take the tickets on the theater’s official website in advance, so here is our tutorial to help you: How to buy tickets to the Bolshoi? In addition, several pedestrian or one-way streets are located north of the theater. It is therefore very pleasant to find them to leave the main axes of the megalopolis.

Visit the Moscow Kremlin

Visit Kremlin is on top of things to do in Moscow. A place of power for centuries, the Kremlin then shows us a whole different image when viewed from the inside. If you want to visit Moscow in 2 days, the Kremlin is certainly one of the must-see places in Moscow.

• Opening hours : Daily from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., except Thursday.
• See our blog post about visiting the Moscow Kremlin

Visit the Cathedral of Christ the Savior

This impressive Moscow Cathedral is the seat of the Russian Orthodox Church. It is a must see if you visit Moscow in 2 days and clearly one of the things to do in Moscow. The Cathedral of Christ the Savior was first built in 1883 in memory of Russia’s victory over Napoleon’s Grand Army. Then in 1931 Stalin ordered its destruction. It was then rebuilt again (identically) only in 2000.

• Where? Ulitsa Volkhonka 15. At the foot of the Kropotkinskaya metro station.
• Opening hours . Daily: 10: 00-17: 00, except Monday: 13: 00-17: 00
• Free entry (some closing restrictions, for example a short)

Good to know! In orthodox religious places, one must avoid excessively uncovered clothing. Women should cover their heads. After visiting the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, you can explore Bolotny Island and Gorky Park. This is one of the routes our guide to Moscow.

The old Krasny Oktyabr factory: one of the coolest things to do in Moscow

If you cross the Moskva River by a pedestrian bridge which is located just in front of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, you will enjoy a beautiful view of the city and at the same time you can discover Balchug Island. Furthermore, if you want to visit Moscow in 2 days, you can include this island in your itinerary between the cathedral and Gorky park. Here is the old confectionery factory Krasny Oktyabr, which has gradually turned into a fashionable micro-district. There are then some elements of street art, cafes and restaurants and some Moscow bohemian side. At the end of the island you can see a gigantic 98-meter-high monument dedicated to the Russian reforming tsar Pierre The Great.

Good to know! You can find on this island are the trendiest nightclubs in Moscow. On weekends, there are taxi caps after midnight so there are so many people. On the other hand, if you go there in winter and during the day, the island is quite empty and less interesting to see.

Gorky Park is one of the TOP places to visit in Moscow, because it allows you to better understand the life of the locals and their rhythm. In fact, it’s a huge entertainment park. For example, in winter there is a giant ice rink and in summer – free dance or yoga lessons, sandy beaches for playing volleyball, an outdoor cinema. So, like the locals, have a Stakantchik (ice cream or cooked corn), and enjoy the atmosphere of the place: that’s one of the interesting things to do in Moscow to discover the city.

• Where? Krymsky Val 9. 20 minutes’ walk from Krasny Oktyabr, along the quays.

Sparrow Hill and Moscow State University

The Sparrow Hill, Vorobiovy Gori in Russian, is the highest point in Moscow. It is rather known to Russians, but less to travelers. A nice view on Moscow opens from the hill, and in particular on the Luzhniki Stadium. In addition, on the hill itself is the Moscow State University: an impressive skyscraper from the Soviet era.

• How to get there? By bus T7 (35 min) from Oktyaborskaya station, near Gorki Park. By metro (Vorobiovy Gorki station) + climb the hill on foot. On foot along the Moskva along the Gorky Park (1h30) + climb in funiculars.

Good to know! It is possible to cross the Moskva river by funicular. We actually tested it and it was pretty cool! That is one of our favorite things to do in Moscow!

What to do in Moscow in 3 days?

If you are going to visit Moscow in 3 days, it would be interesting to dive into the Soviet era which strongly marked the country and the city. After the Bolshevik Revolution, the capital was transferred from Saint Petersburg to Moscow, in order to mark the change of power. Moscow then became the world showcase for communist ideology. Here are the best things to do in Moscow for 3-day-trip!

VDNKh, visit Moscow of the Soviet era

VDNKh is a large exhibition center in the north of Moscow, where there are still several striking witnesses of the USSR. The most interesting are the Museum of Cosmonauts and the Statue of the Worker and the Kolkhozian , which will certainly impress you with its size!

GULAG History Museum

The explanations of the museum are very well done. We really have the feeling of going back in time. If you are going to visit Moscow in 3 days and you are interested in history and this subject in particular, I recommend this museum. Visit the GULAG History Museum is one of the most interesting things to do in Moscow.

Discover the Patriarche Pounds district

It’s a nice neighborhood in Moscow where you can come across rather affluent locals, but not necessarily very bling-bling. Take a walk in this area is really a cool thing to do in Moscow! In addition, the Ponds of Patriarch is one of the places of Bulgakov’s novel “Master and Margarita”. As this is an interesting area to see, we have included it in a walking tour of Moscow. The route ends at the Moscow Kremlin, which is very convenient, because you will be able to visit Moscow in 3 days by optimizing your trips.

What to visit in Moscow in 4 days: TOP things to do in Moscow in 4 days

If you want to visit Moscow in 3 days, you will already see a lot of things. On the other hand, if you stay one more day, you have plenty to do! The Novodevichy Convent, the Tchistie Proudy district and the Izmaylovo Kremlin are very good candidates for you, if you are going to visit Moscow in 4 days.

Visiting Novodevichy Convent in Moscow

The Novodevichy Convent is one of the most brilliant examples of Russian architecture, according to UNESCO. This beautiful complex was built in 1524 and today consists of the convent, but also of a cemetery whose status could be compared to that of Père-Lachaise in Paris. Visiting Novodevichy Convent is one of the great things to do in Moscow, if you want to go a little bit outside of the center!

Discovering Tchistye Proudy district

It’s one of the most popular areas of Moscow, with many cafes, restaurants and bars nearby. It is therefore a place to discover if you want to visit Moscow in 4 days. It is just as pleasant for a stroll as for the discovery of local life. For example, in winter the pond turns into an ice rink.

Visiting the Izmaylovo Kremlin, one of the coolest things to do in Moscow!

The Izmaylovo Kremlin is more of a tourist than a historic place. On the other hand, it is a pretty impressive place to discover, especially on weekends. Inside the Kremlin, there is a flea market where you can find a little bit of everything, but mostly good souvenirs to bring from Moscow. For example, chapka, traditional Russian scarves or matryoshka (Russian dolls). Add the Kremlin and the Izmaïlovo market to your itinerary if you are going to visit Moscow in 4 days, because it is a nice and very colorful place! Visiting the Izmailovo Kremlin is one of the things to do in Moscow, if you want to put colors in your Instagram account! 😉

In 4 days, we will have the opportunity to see several Moscow: Classic Moscow, Moscow of old Russia, Soviet Moscow and a little bit of the new Moscow. So what to visit in Moscow on the 5th day of travel?

What to visit in Moscow in 5 days?

Art lovers will be delighted to discover the Tretyakov Gallery and the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts, while others will prefer to stroll along Arbat Street, see the buildings of Moskva-City or visit Bunker 42.

Admiring Russian art at Tretyakov Gallery

Founded in 1856 by an industrialist and great lover of art, the gallery has grown over the decades, and then bequeathed to the state. Today the collection includes more than 140,000 pieces, 15,000 of which are paintings. Visiting the Tretyakov Gallery is one of the things to do in Moscow if you want to discover Russian art!

• Where? Pereoulok Lavrouchinski 10. A 5-minute walk from Tretiakovskaya station
• Opening hours. Open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. Thursday and Friday. Closed on Mondays.
• Entry tickets. 500 RUB.

Visiting the Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts

The Pushkin Museum of Fine Arts presents the treasures of ancient Egypt, the paintings of Rembrandt and Cézanne, a fine collection of Impressionism.

• Where? Ulitsa Volkhonka 12
• Opening hours. Daily: 10: 00-20: 00, except Thursday: 11: 00-21: 00. Closed on Mondays. The boxes close an hour before closing.
• Entry tickets. The prices vary according to the collections from 300 to 750 RUB.

Walking on Arbat Street

All Russians know Rue Arbat. So, walking on Arbat street is one of the things to do in Moscow. However, after the years, little by little it became very touristy. This is a pedestrian street only. There are souvenir shops, restaurants and cafes there, but it is no longer the most authentic neighborhood in the city.

Seeing the buildings of Moskva-City (Moscow City)

Moskva-City is Moscow’s business center, much like Paris’s Defense district. The skyscrapers of Moskva-City are among the tallest in Europe: 373 meters high! Very nice place to see at dusk.

Good to know! You can admire a nice view of Moscow City from the docks of Tarasa Shevchenko. It’s especially beautiful in the evening with all the lights on.

Bunker 42, one of the most unusual things to do in Moscow

Bunker 42 is a secret military complex which was to be used by the Soviets in the event of a nuclear attack: a space of 7000 m² 65 meters underground!

• Where? 5 Kotelnitcheski Lane, 11.
• Prices. 2200 RUB per person
• Opening hours. Open daily from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
• Restaurant inside. Original, but rather a tourist trap.

What to visit in Moscow in 6 days or more?

There are still so many places to see, because Moscow is a big megalopolis and there is always something exciting to do there. For example: the ancient Kolomenskoye village or the WINZAVOD contemporary art center .

If you are interested in history and want to see Russian cities on a rather “human scale”, it would certainly be interesting for you to discover the cities of the Golden Ring . For example, it is very easy to get to Sergey Posad from Moscow (less than 2 hours in train). Visiting the Golden Ring is one of the best things to do in Moscow if you are staying more than a 5-6 days.

There are still plenty of places to see in Moscow, however I did my best to list here the best things to do in Moscow, what to see in Moscow in one day, but also in 2, 3, 4 or 5 days in Moscow!

Moscow travel tips:

• Airport transfer: how to go to Moscow?
• Where to stay in Moscow (hotels, districts)?
• Tourist voucher for Russian visa
• Christmas and New Year in Moscow
• What is the best time to visit Moscow?

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Shooter Files by f.d. walker

Street Photography Tips, Interaction, Travel, Guides

Apr 24 2017

City Street Guides by f.d. walker: A Street Photography Guide to Moscow, Russia

*A series of guides on shooting Street Photography in cities around the world. Find the best spots to shoot, things to capture, street walks, street tips, safety concerns, and more for cities around the world. I have personally researched, explored and shot Street Photography in every city that I create a guide for. So you can be ready to capture the streets as soon as you step outside with your camera!

At over 12 million people, Moscow is the largest city in Russia and second largest in Europe by population ( Istanbul is #1). An urban, cosmopolitan metropolis with more than enough glitz and glam to cater to the elite, but without losing its fair share of Soviet era roughness around the edges. It can be fast paced, brash, busy, and trendy like other big cities, but it has its blend of West meets Russia atmosphere and beauty that provides plenty of unique interest. The Red Square is as famous as it gets, but there’s so much more to this city, including the most beautiful subway system you’ve ever seen. It would take years to capture all of Moscow, but that means you have an endless amount of areas to discover.

So here’s a Street Photography guide so you can be ready to capture all that Moscow has to offer before you even arrive!

• Patriarch’s Pond
• Old Arbat Street
• Maroseyka Street
• Tverskoy Boulevard

Top 5 Street Spots:

1. red square.

The Red Square is the most famous square in not just Russia, but all of Eastern Europe. The name actually doesn’t come from the color of the bricks or communism, but from the name in Russian, Krásnaya, once meaning “beautiful” before its meaning changed to “red.” This large plaza is what you see on the cover of guide books and magazines for Moscow, with St. Basil’s Cathedral being the center piece next to Lenin’s Mausoleum surrounded by the Kremlin Wall. Of course, the Red Square attracts hordes of tourist due to the main attractions, but all that activity around an interesting atmosphere does provide street photo opportunities. It’s also the central square connecting to the city’s major streets, providing a good starting point to explore outward.

You’ll also find the popular pedestrian only Nikolskaya Street connecting the Red Square to Lubyanka Square. This line of expensive shops includes plenty of activity, while also leading you to another popular square. Filled with history rivaling any city, the Red Square and surrounding areas are the heart and soul of Russia.

2. Patriarch’s Ponds

Patriarch’s Ponds is one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in Moscow. Despite the name being plural, there’s only one large pond, but it’s worth a visit with your camera. It’s a popular spot for locals and expats to come relax or take a stroll around the pond. You get an interesting mix of young and old too, from young love to “babushkas” feeding pigeons. It’s a very peaceful park atmosphere in one of the nicer areas within the city center, while bringing enough activity for street photography. 

The pond is shallow and in the winter becomes a popular spot for ice-skating too. The area is also well-known for the location in the famous Russian novel, The Master and Margarita. 

3. Old Arbat (Stary Arbat)

Old Arbat is the most famous pedestrian street in Moscow, and dating back to the 15th century, also one of its oldest. Originally, it was an area of trade, but soon became the most prestigious residential area in Moscow. During the 18th century, Arbat started attracting the city’s scholars and artists, including Alexander Pushkin. Cafes lined the streets and impressive homes filled the neighborhood. Since then, New Arbat street was created as a highway in the area, while Old Arbat was paved for a 1km pedestrian only walkway.

Due to the historic buildings, famous artists that lived here, and the bohemian atmosphere, Old Arbat has become a big attraction for tourists today. Now, there’s a mix of cafes, restaurants, souvenir shops, street performers, street merchants and other attractions for visitors, and some locals, to come enjoy. It can get really busy here and there’s usually something interesting going on so it’s a good street to come walk with your camera for guaranteed life.

4. Gorky Park

One of the most famous places in Moscow is Gorky Park. The official name is Maxim Gorky’s Central Park of Culture & Leisure, which gives you an idea of what goes on here. When built, it was the first of its kind in the Soviet Union. Divided into two parts, it stretches along Moscow River. One end contains fair rides, foods stands, tennis courts, a sports club, a lake for boat rides, and more. This end brings more active life due to its number of attractions, while the other end is more relaxed, where you’ll find gardens, trees, older buildings, and an outdoor amphitheater.

Gorky Park attracts mostly locals so it’s a good spot to capture the non-tourist side of Moscow life. Muscovites come here to escape the city and unwind in a picturesque setting. The park remains alive outside of the warmer months too, especially when the lake turns into the city’s largest outdoor skating rink. I’d recommend taking the metro out here to spend at least half a day exploring the massive park’s life with your camera.

5. Maroseyka Street

Maroseyka Street is a popular area not too far from the Red Square. The long, winding street turns into Pokrovka and is lined with restaurants, cafes, bars and places to stay. It’s actually where I like to stay when I’m in Moscow due to its location and solid street photography opportunities itself. You have Kitay-gorod station near and if you keep walking southwest, you’ll get to the Red Square. But if you walk northwest, as it changes to Pokrovka, you can find a long street of activity for photography with its own interesting atmosphere.

6. Tverskoy Boulevard

Tverskoy Boulevard is the oldest and longest boulevard in Moscow, beginning at the end of Nikitsky Boulevard, and finishing at Pushkin Square, a spot to come for activity itself. The boulevard is made up of two avenues, with pedestrian walkways in-between. You’ll find grass, shrubbery, trees, benches and more walking it’s almost kilometer length. Many people come here to enjoy some relaxation, walk their dog, or just to use it to walk wherever they’re going. Its center location also provides a nice place to walk with your camera near plenty of other spots you’ll want to check out anyway.

Sample Street Walk:

For a full day of Street Photography, covering some of the best spots, you can follow this sample street walk for Moscow:

• Start your morning walking around the Red Square (1), while exploring the surrounding area, including Nikolskaya Street
• Then walk northwest to Patriarch’s Ponds (2) and slowly walk the pond and surrounding area with your camera
• Next, walk east to the Pushkin Monument and stroll down Tverskoy Boulevard (6)
• Once Tverskoy Boulevard (6) ends, it will turn into Nikitsky Boulevard. Follow this down until you get to the start of Old Arbat Street (3), across from Arbatskaya station
• After you’re done walking down Old Arbat Street (3) for more street photography, spend some time checking out Moscow’s beautiful metro stations
• To finish off the day with more street photography, get off the metro near Red Square (1) again, Maroseyka Street (5) or wherever you’re staying for the night.

3 Things I’ll Remember about Shooting in Moscow:

1. museum metro.

The Moscow metro system was the first underground railway system in the Soviet Union and today includes 203 stations across 340km of routes. The elaborate system has some of the deepest stations in the world too, with escalators that seem to go on forever. None of this is what makes it so special, though. Many of its stations feel like stepping inside a museum, making it without a doubt the most interesting and beautiful metro system I’ve been in.

When built, Stalin wanted to make the metro stations “palaces for the people” with marble, chandeliers, and grand architecture. The best part is the variety of architecture and styles used, making many of the stations a completely different experience visually. You could easily spend a whole day traveling the stations and there are even tours available for people who wish to do just that. My advice, though, would be just to buy a ticket and hop on and off at different stations, while exploring different lines. The museum-like surrounding mixed with the crowds of characters can make for a great photography experience.

Since there are so many stations, here are some of my favorites to check out:

• Novoslobodskaya
• Mayakovskaya
• Elektrozavodskaya
• Komsomolskaya
• Ploschad Revolyutsii
• Dostoyevskaya
• Prospekt Mira

2. Moscow is Big

It’s no secret that Moscow is a big city, but it can feel even bigger with how spread out much of it is. This is especially true if you compare it to cities outside of Asia. If I compared it to cities in Europe, I’d probably say only Istanbul would warrant more time to really discover the depths of this city. Most only explore around the Red Square and surrounding area, but that is such a small part of the city. Although, that central area does give you plenty to see on its own.

Fortunately, I had a good friend living in the city to show me around, but it opened up my eyes even more to how much there is to discover in Moscow. It’s a big city with a variety of atmosphere that can take you from “east” to “west” and trendy to rugged depending on where you go. I’d imagine you’d have to live here a while to really know the city.

3. Cosmopolitan Mix of East meets West

Modern skyscrapers mixed with amazing architecture, a world-class metro system with museum-like beauty, trendy fashion and chic clubs, Moscow is a rich mix of Russian culture and history in a more western cosmopolitan package. There is a push to keep the Russian culture, while also pushing forward with a modern metropolis the whole world will envy. This comes with an impressive skyline, that continues to grow, and endless modernities, but with soviet nostalgia and atmosphere mixed in for good measure.

Mixed in with this grand western cosmopolitan atmosphere, is a strong national pride in Russia. This includes their famous leader, Vladimir Putin. Maybe no other place will you see a country’s leader more often. All over, from the pricey tourist shops to the underground walkway stalls, you’ll find goods with Putin’s likeness covering them. From t-shirts to magnets to Matryoshka dolls. There’s a strong national pride that can be seen around the city, which also extends to their leader. Moscow is many things. It’s East meets West, modernizations meets Soviet era, and a whole lot more.

What To Do For a Street Photography Break?:

Eat at a stolovaya.

Stolovayas are Russian cafeterias that became popular in the Soviet days. You grab a tray and walk down the line of freshly prepared local dishes, and select whatever you want from the chefs. They’re usually inexpensive and a much better value than restaurants, while giving you the opportunity to try from a wide selection of everyday Russian food. They’re also very tasty. I always include some borsch on my tray and go from there. The places themselves are all over Moscow and usually come with Soviet-era aesthetics to complete the experience.

Street Safety Score: 7

*As always, no place is completely safe! So when I talk about safety, I’m speaking in general comparison to other places. Always take precaution, be smart, observe your surroundings and trust your instincts anywhere you go!

Being the 2nd largest city in Europe with over 12 million people, you’re going to have your dangerous areas, but for the most part, it feels safe walking around. Russia is statistically higher in crime compared to most of Europe, but this generally doesn’t apply to tourists and visitors. Around the Red Square and surrounding city center, you should feel completely safe walking around. Pick pocketing can happen, but no more than other touristic places. I always explore Moscow freely without coming across too much to worry about. It’s a spread out city, though, so of course it matters where you are. Just use basic street smarts, know where you are and Moscow shouldn’t give you a problem. 

People’s Reaction Score: 7

Moscow is fast paced, big city life, which usually means people aren’t too concerned with you, or your camera. I don’t find people notice or pay much attention to me when I’m out taking photos in Moscow. For the most part, people just go about their day. You shouldn’t get too many looks or concern. But it can depend on the area you are in. The more you stick out, the more you might get noticed with suspicions. I’ve never had any problems in Moscow, or Russia, but just be careful who you’re taking a photo of if you get out of the city center. Other than that, it’s about average for reactions. 

Street Tips:

Learn the alphabet .

Much of Moscow, including the metro system, doesn’t use english. The Russian alphabet uses letters from the Cyrillic script, which if you aren’t familiar with it and don’t know the sounds, can be hard to decipher the words. This is most important for street names and metro stops when trying to get around. It can save confusion and make it easier getting around if you learn the basic alphabet. At the very least then, you can sound out the words to see which are similar in the english conversion, which can help matching them to maps. When out shooting street photography, getting around is as important as anything. So save yourself some time and frustration by learning the Russian Alphabet.

Use the metro

While Saint-Petersburg feels very walkable for a city its size, Moscow can feel very spread out, even for its bigger size. Outside of the Red Square area, you can have plenty of walking before getting anywhere very interesting, so you’ll need to take the metro a lot if you really want to explore the city. Maps are deceiving here too, it will always be further than it looks.

Another reason it’s less walkable than Saint-Petersburg is its completely different set-up. Moscow’s streets are mostly contstructed in rings with narrow, winding streets in-between. This is common with medieval city cities that used to be confined by walls, but you usually don’t have it in a city this massive. Saint-Petersburg has a more grid-like pattern that also uses the canals to help you know your way around. When it comes to navigating on foot in Moscow, it can be more difficult, so bring a map and take the metro when needed. It’s why Moscow’s metro carries more passengers per day than the London and Paris subways combined.

Explore other areas if you have time

Moscow is really big. While most people stay around the Red Square within the Boulevard Ring, there’s so much more to the city. I covered some other spots outside of this circle, but if you really want to see the city, you’ll need time. If you do have time, some other areas I’d check out first are Zamoskvarechye, along some of the south and western Moscow.

Inspiration:

For some more inspiration, you can look through the Street Photography of Moscow photographer Artem Zhitenev  and check out 33 of my photos taken in Moscow .

Conclusion:

Moscow’s name brings a certain mystique, but once you’re there it might bring a different atmosphere than you expect. It’s big and sprawling, but beautiful in many ways. It can feel like a European capital on a grand scale, but you can definitely find its Russian side in there.

The urban sprawl of Moscow can be intimidating, but give it enough time and you’ll be rewarded with plenty to discover. All with the world’s best metro system to take you around.

I hope this guide can help you start to experience some of what Moscow contains. So grab your camera and capture all that Moscow has to offer for Street Photography!

If you still have any questions about shooting in Moscow, feel free to comment below or email me!

(I want to make these guides as valuable as possible for all of you so add any ideas on improvements, including addition requests, in the comment section!)

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(A New Guide Posted Every Other Wednesday)

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