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Navigating Love: Understanding Relationship Milestones

Every relationship can be seen as a journey filled with special moments and big decisions that shape your bond. You can think of it like hitting different relationship milestones on a road trip. From the butterflies of the first date to the comfort of celebrating yet another anniversary, each of these phases can come with its own set of emotions and experiences. 

While some of these moments can fill your heart with joy, others might test the strength of your relationship. Turning conflicts into moments for growth can be an effective strategy for maintaining relationship health. If you’re struggling with relationship challenges, working with a licensed therapist online or in person may be helpful.

Early relationship milestones: Butterflies and firsts

The beginning of a new relationship can feel like a whirlwind of emotions. You’re usually getting to know each other, finding common interests, figuring out compatibility , and trying to contain all those butterflies in your stomach.

The first date is often seen as the official start of a romantic relationship. It’s typically that moment when you both take a chance on each other and step into the unknown. This exciting time can be filled with anticipation and hope for what’s to come, but it can also bring some anxiety and nerves as you try to make a good first impression.

As the relationship progresses, many other firsts can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. The first kiss, the first trip together, using affectionate pet names, and saying the three little words “I love you” for the first time may all be big moments that can bring a mix of emotions. These experiences often set the tone for the rest of the relationship and lay the foundation for future memories.

However, along with all the exciting firsts of this honeymoon phase, there may be challenges. It can be challenging to open up to someone new and trust them with your heart. You may also have different expectations or communication styles, which might contribute to misunderstandings and the first fight.

The early stages of can set the tone for how you navigate challenges in the future. How you handle conflicts, communicate, and show support can all impact the longevity of your relationship. However, the challenges you face at the beginning are often normal and can strengthen your connection. When you successfully overcome them, this process can build trust, improve communication, and deepen your bond. 

Try to embrace the butterflies and cherish the firsts. These first relationship stages may be a rollercoaster ride, but they can be an important part of your journey together. As you continue on your journey, remember that every relationship tends to be unique, and there’s usually no one “right” way to navigate these stages.

Deepening the connection: Meeting friends and family

As your relationship progresses and becomes more serious, meeting each other’s friends and family can be a significant milestone. This step can feel like a big deal and bring up a range of emotions. For example, you might experience the joy of introducing your love interest to the core people in your life. While you may want your partner to be accepted and welcomed into your loved ones’ lives, you may also feel anxious about how they will get along during the first meeting.

Meeting your partner’s parents is frequently seen as a rite of passage in a relationship. It typically shows that you are committed to trying to get to know your partner’s family and becoming a part of their lives. This milestone can also bring up insecurities, especially if you’ve had negative experiences meeting a significant other’s parents in past relationships.

It can be equally stressful when your partner meets your friends. You may want everyone to get along and for your partner to be accepted by the people who know you best. This milestone can also raise concerns about how your partner will fit into your social circle and whether they will understand the dynamics of your friendships.

Try not to worry; these worries and anxieties can be normal. Meeting each other’s friends and family can be a significant moment in any relationship, but it may also be an opportunity for growth. It may allow you to integrate into each other’s lives on a deeper level and get to know the people who are important to your partner.

It can be important to approach this milestone with an open mind, compassion, and understanding. Everyone usually has their own opinions and perspectives, and it can be natural for people to have different reactions. As long as you support each other through this experience, meeting friends and family can bring you closer and strengthen your bond.

Commitment and beyond

Your relationship status might already be clear to you, but having an open and honest conversation about it with your partner can be important. Defining the relationship is usually a significant step in any romantic relationship that can bring clarity and stability. This discussion might come around the four-month milestone or the six-month mark, acting as a pivotal point where you both realize your journey is headed in the right direction.

Defining the relationship generally means discussing your expectations, needs, and boundaries. It may also involve understanding where you both stand regarding exclusivity and commitment. For example, you might discuss marriage or how you want to move forward together as the relationship progresses. Whether it's talking about getting engaged or discussing long-term aspirations, this milestone can enable both partners to communicate openly and ensure they’re on the same page.

This conversation can feel intimidating, but it can be a positive step toward building a healthy relationship. It may allow you to establish trust, lay a strong foundation, and set realistic expectations for your future together.

While defining the relationship may not always lead to a clear “label,” it can be more about openly and honestly discussing your feelings and intentions. This relationship milestone is not necessarily just a one-time conversation but can instead be the beginning of an ongoing process of understanding and supporting each other as you grow together.

Weathering challenges together in a healthy partnership

Even a solid relationship can face challenges and difficulties. How you talk and resolve your first argument and other early conflicts can set a precedent for handling future disputes, making each challenge a stepping stone toward significant progress in your relationship. Some of the biggest relationship moments may come from experiencing tough times and overcoming them as a team. It's these moments that often happen to test and strengthen the connection between partners.

Supporting each other through tough times may deepen your connection and trust in one another. It may also empower you to better understand each other's strengths and weaknesses and how to support each other in the best way possible. In addition, embracing each challenge as an idea for growth may introduce you to a new person within your partner, enriching the connection.

• Financial struggles
• Career changes and job stress
• Health issues or medical concerns
• Family conflicts or disagreements
• Differences in values or beliefs
• Infidelity or trust issues
• Changes in family dynamics, such as having children or caring for aging parents

No relationship may be perfect, and it can be normal to face challenges. In general, how you handle these difficulties together is what truly matters. When you use these experiences to learn and grow as a couple, you can strengthen the foundation upon which your relationship is built.

Continuing the journey: Keeping love alive

Growing old together may seem like a far-off thought, but it can be important to actively work on your relationship to keep the love alive. It can be easy to get caught up in the routine of everyday life and forget to appreciate each other and the journey you are on together. However, taking the time to recognize and celebrate relationship stages can bring a sense of excitement and joy back to your relationship.

Getting through various relationship milestones is worth celebrating and can help maintain a vibrant and fulfilling partnership for years to come. Whether it’s celebrating anniversaries and birthdays or simply recognizing the little moments that make your relationship special, these gestures can keep the spark alive. You can make an effort to try new things together, create new memories, and keep evolving as individuals and as a couple.

If you find the relationship has become stagnant, don’t be afraid to shake things up and try new ways of connecting with your partner. From planning surprise date nights to exploring new hobbies together, there may be endless ways to keep your relationship exciting and evolve over time. These celebrations are significant moments that remind you why you fell in love in the first place, helping you to feel comfortable and connected as you plan for the future.

Every relationship tends to be unique and evolves at its own pace. What matters may be that you continue to communicate, support each other, and grow together. 

Turning challenges into opportunities 

While it may be natural to want to avoid challenges and difficulties in a relationship, they can actually be opportunities to enhance your relationship. Here are some ways you can turn tough times into positive experiences for your relationship:

• Communicating openly and honestly : Sometimes, we hold back our true feelings because we don’t want to upset our partners. However, open and honest communication is often crucial for overcoming challenges and building a strong relationship.
• Showing empathy and support : When your life partner is facing a tough time, it can be vital to show them that you understand and are there for them. You can offer comfort, support, and a listening ear without judgment.
• Making time for each other : During tough times, it can be easy to get caught up in stress and forget about your relationship. Relationship studies show that planning date nights can promote closeness and strengthen your bond, even during challenging times.

When facing any relationship challenge, whether it's a disagreement about dating priorities or navigating life changes, the words you choose can either build or break your connection. It's in these moments that being attentive and understanding can turn a potential conflict into a chance to realize how deeply you care for each other.

If you and your partner struggle to overcome a challenge on your own, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. Couples therapy can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate through tough times together. When you have the right support, even the toughest challenges can provide opportunities to build a stronger, more resilient relationship.

Seeking support from online therapy

Online therapy can be a helpful resource for couples as they work to overcome challenges. With the flexibility and availability of virtual sessions, you and your partner can receive support and guidance from the comfort of your own home. This added convenience can make it easier to prioritize your relationship and work through challenges together, no matter what life throws at you.  

According to a growing body of evidence, online couples therapy tends to produce the same outcomes as in-office couples therapy. The results of a 2022 study revealed increased relationship satisfaction and mental health for the couples that participated.

• 25 Relatable End Of Relationship Quotes For Support Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia , LCSW
• Helpful Tips To Try For Maintaining A Strong And Healthy Relationship Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia , LCSW
• Relationships and Relations

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The 5 stages of a relationship every couple goes through.

The five stages of a relationship are the Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, the Decision, and Wholehearted Love. Every single relationship moves through these five stages—though not only once.

Think of these stages not as steppingstones to a final outcome but rather as a series of seasons that we move through in an eternal cycle.

Here, the five stages of every relationship and how to navigate each one.

Meet the expert

The stages of a relationship are cyclical, not linear.

We often think all intimate relationships reliably progress from the initial meet-cute to giddy infatuation, to a series of small trials and tribulations, and finally to a blissful state of happily-ever-after.

It's a satisfying narrative we see all the time in the movies, TV, and music. In reality, love is a journey without a final destination.

We shouldn't expect that at some point in our relationship, we'll look back at the obstacles we overcame and say, "Well, that's it! We're here! We made it!" Because beyond wherever you are now, another hurdle awaits.

In other words, the stages of a relationship are not linear but cyclical. Even people who reach the fifth and final stage of a relationship—Wholehearted Love—will eventually find themselves looping back to Stage 1 to start the process all over again. But they can always find their way back.

This Love Cycles model is drawn from my experience as a couples therapist for the last three decades, studying couples at all stages of a relationship and identifying common patterns.

Here's everything you need to know about the five stages of a relationship and what skills couples need to weather each stage.

Stage 1: The Merge

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The first stage of a relationship is the Merge, aka the honeymoon phase . It's the initial, sweeping romance that often consumes a couple when they first get together, including an all-consuming joy in the presence of our partner and insatiable, passionate sex.

Often people in this stage of a relationship will feel as if they've found their " perfect match ," someone who is so eerily similar and compatible with them. They feel they always want to be together, and boundaries often melt away. The two seem to merge together, or at least feel eager to do so.

These emotions often drown out the rational part of our brain. Indeed, research tells us this first stage is marked by biochemical changes in our brain 1 —a cocktail of hormones that trigger and maintain a state of infatuation, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins.

This brain glow can often lead us to become "addicted" to our partners and to ignore incompatibilities, red flags , or other issues.

What to do in this relationship stage:

Enjoy this stage to the fullest—this is the stuff that makes dating so delightful and intriguing. At the same time, be aware of your heightened emotions. Take time to step back and observe your emotions and your relationship, and actively question whether this person really is the best match for you.

Get candid advice from friends who can make sure you're not missing any truly worrisome red flags while under this biochemical love potion.

Go slow with making any big decisions, too—the Merge can fog your vision and make you want to dive into situations that might not actually be wise or healthy for you in the long run.

In general, don't make decisions because you're "so in love"—because that's a temporary feeling of infatuation that will eventually fade.

RELATED: Honeymoon Phase: How Long It Lasts + How To Bring It Back

Stage 2: Doubt and Denial

The second stage of a relationship is Doubt and Denial, in which we finally start to actually notice the differences between us and our partners. We wake up from the trance of infatuation with a thump, finding that the same qualities that once seemed so perfect have begun to annoy us. (His reliability now feels rigid; her generosity seems irresponsible; their adventurous nature feels like unnecessary risk.)

And unfortunately, friction is natural once we run up against each other's differences. Power struggles increase, and we marvel at the change in our partner. Feelings of love mix with alienation and irritation. Perhaps we're not "perfect" for each other after all.

As our disappointment escalates, so do our biological responses to stress. Depending on our personality and circumstances, we may want to fight or to withdraw.

For example, you may feel the need to fight to defend your values, which may actually translate into the desire to have everything your own way. It makes little sense to expect another person to be just like we are, and yet, at some level, many of us do tend to ask, "Why aren't you like me?"

At this point, the skills of conflict management are essential. Learn how to deescalate conflicts and face relationship problems head-on while treating each other with care and respect.

Remember that power struggles and arguments are normal parts of a relationship; they're not necessarily a sign that love is ending or that the relationship isn't working .

You'll need to learn to identify the difference between healthy disagreement and unhealthy control issues; the former can be worked through, while the latter may be a sign you should break up .

Because this is the stage where you're starting to recognize your differences, this second stage of a relationship is also a good time to learn your love languages. There are five love languages , and it's important for each person to know how their partner wants to receive love.

RELATED: Why Differentiation Is The Key To Healthy Relationships

Stage 3: Disillusionment

The third stage of a relationship is the Disillusionment stage. This is the winter season of love, one that may feel like the end of the road for some couples. At this point, the power struggles in the relationship have come fully to the surface; the issues the couple have consistently shoved under the rug are now glaringly obvious.

Some people become perpetually vigilant, ready to fly into battle at the slightest provocation. Other couples might quietly move apart over time, putting less and less energy into maintaining the relationship and investing more outside of it.

At this juncture, our original experience of passionate love is often a distant memory. The "I" reemerges, a state that feels a lot safer than our former blissful experience of "we." Nevertheless, some couples may not question their commitment; instead, they may see this as a strong message that things need to change.

Clear the air and create space. Stop pushing problems under the rug and avoiding issues; as tiring as the repetitive arguments may feel, pushing them under the rug just leaves a lumpy carpet with much to trip over.

There may be a lot of negative energy in the relationship at this stage. To offset this, practice showing affection even when upset. Can you feel angry and be aware that something isn't working that you need to talk about—but still go to dinner and a movie together?

During the Merge, the brain notices only the positive and avoids anything that challenges that view. In the Disillusionment stage, the brain is zeroing in on all the relationship's deficiencies.

The things that are going right are ignored; the things going wrong get all our attention. Try to offset that process with an intentional gratitude practice .

Stage 4: Decision

The fourth stage of a relationship is called the Decision because you're at a breaking point. Emotional breakdowns, leaving the house for hours to get away from each other after a fight, and self-protective behaviors are all commonplace. So, too, is indifference and remoteness.

You know you're here when you begin to seriously contemplate leaving and even make plans for exiting the relationship. You may feel ready for an enticing new beginning with a new person.

In this stage, we make a decision—whether that's to leave, to stay and do nothing despite how miserable we are, or to stay and actually work on fixing this relationship.

When I see couples at this stage, I always encourage them to consider taking a new path, which is to decide to do some work before making a choice about the relationship. Many times, couples feel they want out of the relationship, but when they learn the skills to communicate effectively , years of resentment or estrangement can fade away.

Doing the work involves understanding your own role in your relationship's deterioration and committing to real change. If we make this last choice, we can learn the lessons that will help us become the best people we can be as we give our relationship the chance to grow and deepen.

Even if couples do make the choice to part ways, they can often do so in a constructive way, wishing one another well and understanding their own part in what happened.

RELATED: The 7 Stages Of A Breakup: How To Get Through & Move On

Stage 5: Wholehearted Love

The fifth stage of a relationship is Wholehearted Love—when our relationship is at its healthiest and most rewarding. It's love's summertime, when the fruits of a couple's labors are fully ripe and ready to be savored. Couples experience true individuation, self-discovery, and the acceptance of imperfection in both themselves and their partners, recognizing there is no such thing as a "perfect match."

There's hard work still involved in this fifth stage of a relationship, but the difference is that couples know how to listen well and lean into uncomfortable conversations without feeling threatened or attacking one another.

In this stage, couples also begin to play together again. They can laugh, relax, and deeply enjoy each other. They even can experience some of the thrilling passion, joys, and sex of the Merge as each person rediscovers themselves in ways that let them fall in love with each other all over again.

Nourish yourself. The Wholehearted Love stage is fueled by the qualities of two wholehearted people: generosity, humor, flexibility, resilience, good boundaries, self-care , and a life with meaning and purpose.

Couples are able to stay in this stage as long as they're able to continually sustain their own wholeness as individuals, so make self-care and self-growth continual goals.

Know that there will be new challenges waiting somewhere in the distance but that you can be well-equipped to deal with them when they come. In the meantime, relish the journey.

RELATED: 11 Signs Your Relationship Is Getting Healthier

• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7223160/

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The Relationship Journey: Beginnings, Middles, And Ends

I help people who feel stuck, trapped, broken, or confused by their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I work with people who feel there is something missing, or who... Read more

Just to state the obvious, relationships can be very rewarding but they are not easy. They are journeys that may bring challenges in the beginning, the middle, and the end. I want to share in this post a few of the difficulties and things to keep in mind, as couples navigate these stages.

To start a relationship we may need to overcome fears and doubts , old and new, that get in the way. Taking the risk of being open and vulnerable can sometimes be really difficult. Do we feel safe enough to let the other in? Do we allow ourselves to love and to be loved? Should we risk expressing our feelings despite the fear –or maybe the anticipation- of rejection and pain?

Many of the people that I have worked with in my practice have struggled with these questions. Some believe that their emotions are too big, they are too needy, or their baggage is too complicated, and wonder if they will be too much. Others, on the other hand, feel like there is something wrong with them and wonder if they will ever be enough. Some others carry a deep secret and a profound shame with them, and wonder: if they really knew me, would they run away?

These questions are not unusual, but can sometimes be paralyzing. The answers are never simple and cannot be known in advance. Becoming aware of our doubts, fears, hopes, and motives, accepting them as part of us, and understanding where they come from, are usually helpful first steps. While self-awareness is essential, sometimes we may think too much, so it is important to listen to our mind, our heart, and our body. Looking inside of ourselves with love and kindness is also crucial, in order to have a sense of what is important for us in a relationship, what we are looking for, and what our own personal boundaries are.

The more time we spend together with our partner , the more opportunities we have for connection and intimacy, but also for friction and disappointment. The more history is shared, the more opportunities to become closer and create meaning together, but also to harbor anger or to feel hurt. Whatever will happen to an established couple relationship is a function of three elements: the two individuals and the relationship itself.

The first two are each individual’s experiences, thoughts, and feelings. These will define what each person believes they need and want from a relationship, and how capable or willing they are to find a middle ground. For example, I once had a client who, a few months before his wedding, told me: “I want to do what my father did with my mom: I just want to tune out, find a way to ignore her.” The role-models we had in our life many times define, consciously or not, what we believe relationships are about.

The relationship itself is the third element, and it is bigger than the sum of its parts. For example, a dynamic I have observed often times can be called “pursuer-avoidant,” in which one person wants more from the other (more affection, more attention, more communication, more time, etc.), and the other is evasive or avoidant, whether because he feels uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or afraid. This dynamic sometimes leads to gridlock in the relationship, undermines the possibilities for negotiation, and can trigger resentment on both sides.

What to do when our baggage and our partner’s does not seem to match? There is no one single answer because a couple is a complex, ever-evolving entity. However, it is important to keep an open and curious mind about our partner’s experience, thoughts, feelings, needs, dreams, and goals. Truly acknowledging and respecting our differences is vital for understanding each other. Taking ownership and responsibility for our actions and the things we say (or do not say), as well as being open to receiving feedback, is important to maintain a strong friendship and a sense of safety and trust in the relationship.

Endings are almost never easy. Sometimes the difficulty resides in becoming willing or able to end a relationship that feels stale, is not meeting our needs, or has become toxic or abusive. Sometimes the challenge is to cope with the loss of a relationship, whether it was our own choice, our partner’s decision, or caused by life events out of our control.

The prospect of ending a relationship can be daunting, especially after a long time together. Are we making a rushed decision? Is there no way we can work this out? How much more can I stand? Have I been waiting for too long already? How can I deal with this uncertainty? These are some of the questions I have heard several times. As a therapist, it is not my job to answer them, but to be with my clients as they struggle with them, helping them untangle, make sense, and understand the meaning of the situation.

Most times this process is anything but rational and linear. A wide range of feelings will probably emerge, many times in conflict with our rational thoughts. Love, guilt, fear, pride, avoidance, grief, sadness, anger, and hope – we may feel them all at the same time, or we can go back and forth between them.

Paying attention to our patterns and personal history is equally important: do we tend to cut relationships as soon as we feel uncomfortable? Do we turn relationship into a personal project that admits no failure? Developing self-awareness to understand the nature of our fears is useful to reduce their effect on us. Kindness and patience with our difficulties, as well as respect for ourselves and our partners, are some of our best allies in this part of the journey.

Even though human beings are “wired” to be in relationships, these are not easy and sometimes require a lot of work. This “work” involves looking within and looking across. We must look within to become aware, accept, and understand our own thoughts, feelings, wishes, hopes, and challenges. We must look across to recognize, make space for, and honor our partner’s experiences and reality. Each step of the journey brings new challenges and opportunities for each person and for the relationship itself. It is in this journey, more than in any imagined destination, where the promise of love, connection, and fulfillment can be found.

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The 5 Stages of a Relationship That Most Couples Go Through

Ever found yourself wondering where your relationship is going? If you’ve been with your partner for a while now, it might be time to start thinking about your relationship timeline — where you’re at, and where you want to go.

From the infatuation phases of love through to a healthy sex life and a more committed long-term relationship, no two journeys are the same. But are there specific stages of a relationship that every couple goes through? 

No matter what your love story entails, there are usually five stages of relationship growth that most couples can recognize. If you’re wondering where you’re at, considering these classic stages of a romantic relationship can serve as a barometer for where you stand with your partner! 

As a disclaimer, this guide is for consensual, monogamous relationships, but we may be able to apply these feelings to romantic partners in other settings. Ready to take it to the next level?

• The first stage is commonly referred to as the honeymoon phase. This initial stage is characterized by intense attraction, excitement, and the release of love hormones like oxytocin and dopamine.
• Following this couples enter a phase where the initial thrill settles into a more profound attachment. This stage involves building trust and having deeper conversations, marking the beginning of a more committed relationship.
• Next is the power struggle stage, or the point of doubt/crisis. This stage signifies a maturing relationship where couples face their first major conflicts and learn to navigate disagreements.
• Long-term couples who have surpassed numerous challenges then reach the deep attachment stage, involving deeper intimacy, evolving priorities like marriage or children, and a continual effort to maintain the relationship.
• The final stage known as the whole-hearted love stage, represents a mature, secure relationship where partners accept and understand each other completely. Maintaining the relationship spark is crucial even at this stage, where love is rekindled in new ways.

What are the normal stages of a relationship?

While relationship experts debate over the stages of a relationship, it’s generally agreed that most two-person, monogamous pairings follow a similar course. 

Every relationship starts with an initial attraction, before progressing through the various stages of love as time passes — with a whole pile of learnings along the way. 

So, how many stages are there in a relationship? We’re going to look at five, from those early moments through to the trials and tribulations of love.

What are the 5 stages of a relationship?

Stage 1: the honeymoon period.

The honeymoon phase may be considered one of the most fun parts of any blossoming coupling — and for good reason. This initial stage is full of butterflies and excitement, as you embrace the possibility of a new relationship with someone who you hope to foster an emotional connection with. 

This honeymoon stage is also infamous for sexual sparks flying left, right, and center! This chemical attraction is incredible, with the prospect of falling in love triggering the release of oxytocin, colloquially known as the “love hormone”, and  dopamine , the “reward chemical.” 

With such a charge of emotions, and hormones buzzing about as you get to know each other, you’re more likely to ignore any ‘quirks’ that they display during this period — as your love goggles prevent you from seeing these red flags! 

The early stages are so full of flirting and passionate sex, that it’s easier to ignore these issues early on. They say love is blind, after all. This is why it’s so important to get to know your partner before you start deeming them a soul mate!

While you may not be exclusive yet, the rush of emotions that accompany this stage of the relationship can make you feel like you’ve found the one. This is why it’s so important to get to know your partner and become aware of any incompatibilities before you start deeming them a soul mate!

This  honeymoon phase doesn’t have a set timeframe , with this stage lasting anywhere between 6 months to 2 years. (While some couples say it has never ended for them!) 

Stage 2: Attachment stage

The next stage of your relationship timeline is the attachment stage, where the early thrill of new love begins to settle — and you’re left with something pretty special in its wake. 

For some couples, this is the point where they become exclusive, or enter into a committed relationship. As the butterflies fade, this phase is about building trust, so you may start having deeper and more meaningful conversations that define a healthy relationship. 

Unlike the previous stage, you aren’t plagued by nerves or uncertainity, so you can both settle into the relationship feeling more supported and comfortable. With all of these things in place, you start to develop a deeper attachment to your loved one, and your true self (beyond the flirty banter) starts to come to the surface. 

This is a key crossroads for many couples, as with authenticity can come certain realizations about whether or not they can make the relationship work. At this key commitment stage, it’s important to try and take things slow — as you’re still only early on in your relationship journey. 

While couples reach this stage at different points in their journey, it usually takes place around the 1-year to 5-year mark. 

Stage 3: The power struggle 

Don’t be frightened by the title of this stage, it’s simply a sign of the relationship maturing. As the sheen of the honeymoon phase is wiped away, things start to get real — with doubts starting to creep in. 

This isn’t always a bad thing, as you come to accept that both you and your partner aren’t perfect, and are riddled with human flaws! This may also be the moment for your first real argument — with both of you battling it out as you learn about each other’s relationship needs. 

There’s no need to hit the panic button, or ring up your local couples therapist  — instead, it’s all about learning how to navigate conflict together and have a healthy argument. 

While it may seem controversial, you should take these early conflicts as a positive in your relationship. As you learn to reach a healthy conflict resolution and learn about the importance of compromise, you’re able to let your guard down. This vulnerability is crucial to the development of any healthy relationship.

Even though you’ve had your arguments, it’s exposed a whole new side to your relationship — where you can stand by each other, good times and bad. 

While this looks at the positive side of these crisis stages, it can be crunch time for many couples. This stage often appears at a certain crossroads in your relationship, commonly known as the “seven-year-itch”, and if you can’t make it through these struggles — it could spell the end of your relationship journey. 

Stage 4: Deep attachment stage

The deep attachment stage is for long-term couples who have gotten past an array of relationship obstacles, and who have witnessed an obvious evolution in their journey. 

At this point, you have likely done a lot of life together, and feel like you’ve “seen it all”, and are happy leaning into these changes in life. 

You have now done a lot of life together , and as you have learned to lean into the changes of aging, your sex has grown with you.

You have traded in some of the spontaneous energy of those first years for deeper intimacy that only can come with the trust that is built from the continuous work of inching closer to each other. 

Your priorities may have changed now as you’ve grown together, and perhaps you’ve got married or had children. Each of these changes will present its challenges, many of which may push your relationship to breaking point. You may even need mediators to come in for relationship advice — but in those hard moments, being brave to step out of old patterns to create new ways to connect can make it all worth it. 

Just because you made it through the trenches, it doesn’t mean that the hard work is over. Deep love takes compromise, whether that’s in your daily routine or your working life. Those honeymoon days may feel like a distant memory, but in its place, you’re left with trust, compassion, and a myriad of memories. 

Stage 5: The wholehearted love stage

You’ve made it through the five stages of a relationship, and have reached the promised land! 

At this final stage, you may have fallen in love all over again. This is when you feel like you know each other inside out — your hopes, dreams, qualities, and flaws — and you accept each other for it. 

You may have changed as a couple. You’ll be older, wiser, and maybe not in as good shape as you used to be, but your relationship is as good as ever.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you can get complacent. Make an effort to keep the spark alive, with the help of apps like Paired, to breathe new life into every part of your relationship. (Including the bedroom!) 

This fifth stage can be the most fulfilling, and ideally, the most secure.

How long do the stages of a relationship last?

It’s important to understand that the relationship life cycle isn’t always linear. In fact, relationship stages can be cyclical. For example, you may revisit the doubts and crises stage if you’re making big life decisions, or you may be back to stage one after seeing a marriage counselor.

In the first cycle, you can expect the first stages to last up to around 18 months, before settling into the deeper stages years into your relationship. There may be breakups and make-ups, but every couple is different.

What is crucial is to keep talking to each other. A truly intimate relationship requires communication, and this may be together or through a relationship expert. 

“Couples who are thriving during later in life stages have deeper confidence that when they do disconnect they know how to reconnect,” says Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a marriage and family therapist and In-House Relationship Expert for Paired. 

“So maybe in a fight or someone is preoccupied with something else that just must take priority for a moment, they have trust that they will be able to connect and plug back into each other.” 

What is the hardest stage of a relationship?

The hardest stage of a relationship may be the power struggle stage, where all your doubts creep in, particularly if you’re asking yourself whether these flaws are indeed red flags. However, some may argue that the first stage is the hardest as you decide whether or not to carry on, or perhaps the deep attachment stage as you navigate life’s challenges.

It all depends on your own individual journey, as there is no such thing as the perfect relationship — it’s all about what works best for you and your partner. Opting for transparency and open communication as you navigate these stages is key, as you can work as a team to overcome these challenges. 

What relationship phase am I in?

So, how do you know where you stand along this sliding scale of relationship stages? As we’ve reiterated many times, every couple is completely different — and that’s totally okay!

Never feel pressured to have reached a certain stage in your relationship just because everyone else has, or that’s what you’re supposed to do! Take everything at your own pace, and try to stage regular relationship check-ins both with yourself and with your partner to see where you stand. 

These are some helpful starting points to see where you stand when in the early stages of a relationship, and want to decide whether or not to progress past the glow of the honeymoon era. 

Am I ready to be exclusive with this person?

How would I feel if this person were seeing other people?

Do I see a future with this person?

Am I committed to them in other ways, like moving in together?

What are our long-term goals, and are we compatible?

Remember, nobody can define your relationship but you! We all go through different stages at different paces, and we may even go back and forth depending on what life has in store for us. 

After all, a linear relationship journey wouldn’t make quite as impactful a love story, would it? So here’s to sticking with your loved one through thick and thin, and hopefully coming out the end stronger than ever. 

Frequently Asked Questions

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4 Tips for a Meaningful Relationship

Romantic or platonic, meaningful relationships can help foster feelings of happiness, a sense of security, and much more.

Many of us aim to foster “meaningful” connections, with this word often being touted as somewhat of a Holy Grail when it comes to relationships.

According to Collins Dictionary , a meaningful relationship is: “A romantic relationship based upon mutual respect and supportiveness and marked by a sense of commitment and fulfillment.” Sounds pretty good to us, so it’s no surprise it’s something we strive for.

But how do we establish this type of relationship, and what qualities does it entail?

Why are meaningful relationships important?

We make numerous connections in all seasons and significance during our lives, from long lasting friendships to morning greetings with your coffee shop barista. So where do meaningful relationships fit into all of these?

“Meaningful relationships are the spice of life. They make life feel more worth it and generally bring more joy to this daily experience,” says Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania, licensed marriage and family therapist Jeanae M. Hopgood .

If you don’t have a romantic significant other in your life, it doesn’t mean you have to miss out on enjoying this type of connection.

Despite the dictionary definition, “meaningful relationships are not specific to one type,” Hopgood notes. “ Platonic , professional, familial, and romantic meaningful relationships are beneficial to us all, and can be linked to how satisfied a person reports being with their life.”

It can often be simpler to establish a meaningful relationship when there’s no sex involved.

“Many of us find it a little easier to maintain a sense of enjoyment around a meaningful relationship that doesn’t involve the sometimes messiness of romance,” says Dr. David Bowers , a licensed marriage and family therapist, and owner of Thriveworks Polaris in Ohio.

How can you tell if a relationship is meaningful?

Relationships aren’t black and white, and there’s no set checklist that works for each one. As such, evaluating them in this way is “not necessarily helpful when it comes to things like meaningful relationships,” says Bowers.

Instead, it’s more about what you individually feel .

“When you’re with a person virtually or physically, and you have that sense of being able to be yourself , and at the same time feel really attuned to the other person and their joys and needs, then you can be pretty sure it’s a meaningful relationship,” Bowers reveals.

Feeling “meh” about meeting that friend for a coffee, or finding yourself more interested in your phone than their conversation? Chances are, your relationship isn’t too meaningful to you.

“You know when you care what happens to people [and] when you take time to invest in and nurture the relationship,” says Hopgood. “You know when you desire to connect in some way, and when you leave the interactions feeling fed and nourished.”

What are the key characteristics of a meaningful relationship?

As mentioned earlier, no specific set of qualities must be checked off for a relationship to be deemed as having meaning.

However, according to Hopgood, some to look out for (and nourish) are:

Meaninful relationship qualities

• thoughtfulness
• interest and investment in repair
• openness and vulnerability
• validation , support, and encouragement
• safety and trust

A relationship of any kind has to be a two-way street to flourish and succeed — and if one person continually takes but never gives anything back, the dynamic will quickly fail. According to Bowers, a sense of mutuality is also particularly important in meaningful relationships.

“Things might not be equal in terms of knowledge, experience, or other aspects of life, but there is some sort of mutuality of joy in knowing and being known by the other,” he says.

Tips to promote a meaningful relationship

Just as there are best practices to help establish this type of connection, there are also approaches to steer clear of.

You’ve met someone you click with, so want to accelerate that connection. Yet, tempted as you may be, it’s best to take things steady. Not only do you want to avoid scaring someone away, but “building meaningful relationships takes investment of self, and that tends to take time,” says Bowers.

Be yourself

Meaningful relationships are founded on trust and honesty, so being yourself is crucial. “Avoid any false pretenses or facades when trying to actually connect with others,” shares Hopgood. “Try not to be who you think they want you to be.”

Get creative

Research from 2017 suggests different communication approaches can help foster some aspects of long-distance relationships.

Phone and video calls can encourage a sense of intimacy, for example, while writing letters promotes feelings of thoughtfulness. Even a 2021 study showed texting was linked to higher relationship satisfaction for folks in long-distance relationships.

Give and take

Once again for those in the back: Meaningful relationships aren’t one-sided . As such, “be careful about categorizing a relationship as meaningful that may be unbalanced,” Hopgood says. This works both ways, whether you’re the one feeling taken for granted or acting with selfish motives.

Let’s recap

Meaningful relationships can bring joy, make us feel secure and fulfilled, and cherished by another — to name a few factors.

They can be romantic or platonic, and exist in-person or virtually. While there’s no particular set of qualities that define meaningful relationships, some common attributes include thoughtfulness, kindness, openness, intention, and support.

Don’t forget to be yourself: Real connections are built on honesty — and if a person is worth your time, they’ll appreciate you for who you are.

If you’re interested in cultivating meaning and delving deeper with a friend or romantic partner here are two invaluable resources:

• How Deep Is Your Love? 40 Intimate Questions to Ask Your Partner
• 45+ Deep Conversation Starters to Bond with Friends and Family

Last medically reviewed on July 19, 2022

4 sources collapsed

• Bowers D. (2022). Personal interview.
• Hopgood JM. (2022). Personal interview.
• Janning, M., et al. (2017). Constructing shared “space”: Meaningfulness in long-distance romantic relationship Communication Formats. Available at:   https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X17698726
• Sprecher S, et al. (2021). Long-distance texting: Text messaging is linked with higher relationship satisfaction in long-distance relationships. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8669216/

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It's the Journey, Not the Destination—or Is It?

Culture influences our focus on the past, present, or future..

Posted January 30, 2018

Current culture in the United States emphasizes a focus on the present . “It’s the journey, not the destination”. It’s not where you’ve been or where you’re going. What is important is where you are now.

Scripture in the Book of Matthew tells us to be like birds who don’t worry. Worrying cannot add a single hour to our lives. A popular song when I was young told us to “ live for today and don’t worry ‘bout tomorrow”. Recent research shows that mindfulness meditation , which focuses on the present, reduces depression .

But what if the destination is better than the journey? Arriving in Hawaii is much better than the plane trip there. And being in Hawaii is much better than the plane trip back. The plane trips are tolerable only by anticipating being in Hawaii or good memories of being there. Sometimes where you’ve been or where you’re going is better than where you are.

A focus on the present sometimes has negative consequences. In a study of over 72,000 social media users, a focus on the present was associated with depression. In contrast, those who focused on the future were less likely to be depressed. If the present is unpleasant, an ability to see past it can be helpful. Eleanor Roosevelt said that the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams .

Research shows that focusing on the past can also have mental health benefits. These include recovery from depression and trauma . Analyzing a past problem can provide a perspective on it. As George Santayana famously said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it".

Not everyone is as focused on the present as people in the United States are. People from East Asia have been found to be more focused on the past and future than people in the United States. This is because the past and future provide a context for the present. People in East Asia tend to be more interdependent than those in the United States. Relationships are highly valued. So, focusing on the past and future guides one to behave in a way that will maintain relationships.

A key reason that people in the United States are more focused on the present than people in East Asia is that they are also focused on themselves . People in the United States tend to be independent . They are not as concerned about how their present behavior will affect past or future relationships. But an extreme focus on the self— narcissism —can result in depression for oneself and for others .

A balance between the past, present, and future is needed. And a balance between the self and others. Where you’ve been, where you are, and where you are going are all important. And who you’re with.

Dawood, S., & Pincus, A. L. (2017). Pathological Narcissism and the Severity, Variability, and Instability of Depressive Symptoms. Personality Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment . Advance online publication. doi: 10.1037/per0000239

Gao, X. (2016). Cultural differences between East Asian and North American in temporal orientation. Review of General Psychology , 20 (1), 118-127. doi: 10.1037/gpr0000070

Goldberg, S. B., Tucker, R. P., Greene, P. A., Davidson, R. J., Wampold, B. E., Kearney, D. J., & Simpson, T. L. (2018). Mindfulness-based interventions for psychiatric disorders: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review , 59 , 52-60. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2017.10.011

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion, and motivation. Psychological Review , 98 , 224–253. doi: 10.1037/0033-295X.98.2.224

Park, G., Schwartz, H. A., Sap, M., Kern, M. L., Weingarten, E., Eichstaedt, J. C., . . . Seligman, M. E. P. (2017). Living in the past, present, and future: Measuring temporal orientation with language. Journal of Personality , 85 (2), 270-280. doi: 10.1111/jopy.12239

Tokarev, A., Phillips, A. R., Hughes, D. J., & Irwing, P. (2017). Leader dark traits, workplace bullying, and employee depression: Exploring mediation and the role of the dark core. Journal of Abnormal Psychology , 126 (7), 911-920. doi: 10.1037/abn0000299

Watkins, E. R. (2008). Constructive and unconstructive repetitive thought. Psychological Bulletin , 134 (2), 163-206. doi: 10.1037/0033-2909.134.2.163

Gordon C. Nagayama Hall, Ph.D. , is a professor of psychology at the University of Oregon with a focus in culture and mental health.

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18 quotes about love being a journey (the beginning, middle & end).

These quotes about love are a tribute to you and all the ways you choose to love, even when it’s hard… whenever you can. It's all a practice and a path, and you make love your priority one decision, one breath at a time.

This thing called life on earth? We’re in it together. And it’s not easy, which is why it’s best to go hand in hand, one step at a time. Love: it’s how we make it through .

18 Quotes about Love Being a Journey

1. “Your task is not to see for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

2. “Our real journey in life is interior; it is a matter of growth, deepening, and of an ever greater surrender to the creative action of love and grace in our hearts. Never was it more necessary to respond to that action.” – Thomas Merton

3. “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula LeGuin

4. “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” – Albert Ellis

5. “Love is the spirit that motivates the artist’s journey.” – Eric Maisel

6. “Being driven is not the same as being passionate. Passion is a love for the journey. Drive is a need to reach the destination.” – Simon Sinek

7. “Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.” – Henri Frederic Amiel

6. “To love yourself is a never-ending journey.” – Oprah Winfrey

9. “Life is a journey and it’s about growing and changing and coming to terms with who and what you are and loving who and what you are.” – Kelly McGillis

10. “To fall in love is easy, even to remain in it is not difficult; our human loneliness is cause enough. But it is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose steady presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be.” – Anna Louise Strong

11. “I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love.” – Leo Buscaglia

12. “Love is the beginning of the journey, its end, and the journey itself.” – Deepak Chopra

13. “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.” – Marianne Williamson

14. “Love cannot be forced, love cannot be coaxed or teased. It comes out of heaven, unasked and unsought.” – Pearl S. Buck

15. “Love is meant to be an adventure.” – Gordon B. Hinckley

16. “We can only learn to love by loving.” – Iris Murdoch

17. “Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family.” – Thomas S. Monson

18. “This itself is the whole of the journey, opening your heart to that which is lovely.” – Buddha

Which of these quotes about love is your favorite?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know!

P.S. Make love a daily decision and get my book, Morning Affirmations: 200 Phrases for an Intentional and Openhearted Start to Your Day . It’ll be easier to enjoy the little things, give without feeling depleted, and keep your calm. And your life… it’ll be better.

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Journey vs destination: how to stay present.

• March 10, 2020
• Kendra Sand
• Social Science

Written by Tianna Zachariah

When I think of  journey , I immediately think of  destination . Think about it. Whenever a friend tells you they’re going on a vacation, a trip, or a journey of any kind, what’s the first question you ask? “Amazing! Where are you going ?” Then they usually respond with a destination. Hawaii, California, the mountains, maybe even Target. This also applies to other areas of our lives, from education to work, relationship status to self-help goals. Learn the difference between journey vs destination and ideas for how to stay present at any stage of the process.

So, how do we define and understand the relationship between journey vs destination? Which is more important? Which comes first? How can we enjoy and experience both at the same time? And, can we be more present and engaged in the now along the way?

If you think about any good story , we relate to it and we enjoy it because there is an end goal. There is always something clear that is needed or wanted. But if you look closely at those good stories, the destination is usually only one page or one chapter long, sometimes even one sentence. The juice of the story is in the quest. It’s in the journey. It’s the in-between stages that pave the road from where we are to where we want to be. 

Journey vs Destination: Don’t Overlook the Process

As great, important, and necessary as the destination is, I think too many times we get so caught up in where we want to end up that we completely overlook the process that gets us there. We want so badly to just be there that we forget about what it feels like to be here. Even though it’s so important where we want to go, it’s the journey that makes our stories great. It’s the process that prepares us in all the right ways for the vision that we see clearly at the beginning of every great venture. 

Also, when we are hyper-focused on the destination that can enable a rigid mentality within us. Sometimes as we go along a journey, the destination might change.

If we’re so focused on the destination we have in our minds, we don’t allow ourselves the flexibility and the openness to accept necessary detours that might, in the end, alter our destination.

I’ve heard it said that the journey is the destination. If that’s true, there could be nothing more in our favor than to hold this journey that we’re on with open hands—not only allowing changes that we didn’t expect but sometimes inviting them in. 

The Journey: How to Stay Present

Let’s explore this idea of the journey I’ve created a few challenges that remind us to stay present. These are things you can do every day to cultivate a little more presence on the journey you find yourself on.

1. Slow Down, On Purpose

We live in a time where we are constantly encouraged and admired when we struggle, strive, and live a busy life. But going from back-to-back activities without taking the time to breathe and relish in the moments, we are not allowing ourselves to live life. I truly believe that when we don’t take our time, we end up showing up for our commitments and our people at less than 100 percent. Since we live in a culture that glorifies exhaustion, it’s uncomfortable when we take things slow.

When we take our time, we feel like we’re doing something wrong, or we feel guilty because there is always so much to do. If there is time, we will find ways to fill it up. But what if we didn’t? How different would our world and personal lives look if we simply sat in the discomfort of leisure?

Right now, the world could use more people that slow down, on purpose. Stand in the long line at the grocery store, ride in the slow lane, walk to a favorite spot on the weekends. 

Do the things that force you into the pace that demands you be here, wherever here is. 

2. Recognize That You’re Living the Good Old Days, Right Now 

If we took some time to think, we all could come up with a moment in our lives that we look back on and remember with joy, even though at the time, it was a hard situation. We’re able to look back and realize the contribution it made to our now and see it as something we wouldn’t want to miss. We look back and see them as the good old days. But these don’t have to be the good old days someday, they can be the good old days today. 

We can choose to see hard situations as necessary grooves in the concrete that pave the road to our desired destinations. 

Alternatively, we can choose to truly enjoy the good days when they are upon us. 

3. Pack Light

A long journey requires endurance. Endurance demands lightness. We all know the textbook over-packer. Maybe that person is you. It’s important to remember that on any journey, you will have what you need when you need it. 

We cannot control everything, and we cannot prepare for things that are way out of our reach or the steps ahead on our timeline. Each step of the journey will change us, and in order for us to adapt to the changes well, we need to pack light—meaning that we can’t take everything with us on every journey. 

We must take only what we need right now and trust that what we need will be given to us the moment it’s needed. This demands that we stay present to what each step of the journey requires from us. 

If it’s something we must provide, we should give it willingly, and if it’s something that is gifted to us for the next step, we must receive it fully. In order to receive a gift well, we need to have the capacity to hold it, which means that we must not bring everything with us—only the essentials.

Get Curious 

The relationship between the journey and the destination is one that we must get curious about. Teju Ravilochan, in his talk titled “What Love Can Teach Us About Tackling the Impossible,”  shares this story about a mathematician that changed history. He tells about the destination and the three-year journey that led this man to his legacy-leaving destination. Teju mentions that this man had passion. Passion is Latin and it means suffering .

The journeys that we find ourselves on are often driven by passion. They are sometimes laborious and cause us unbearable suffering. 

I think that’s why so many times we choose to focus solely on the destination. In our dreams, the destination is not painful. Rather, it’s where we arrive once we’ve been through the pain. 

But, the three years that this man spent laboring and working and fighting for his goal, was just as important if not more important than the one day of glory that he lived, because it instilled in him a love of the journey. It created in him a joy of the process. And, if we choose to look at our journey’s this way, it can do the same for us.

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Life Is a Journey of Relationships 

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Lessons in life often come through our relationships with others.  

Relationships span three main categories: 1) Ones that hold us back; 2) ones that marinate us or provide support; and 3) ones that catapult us forward. Each is neither good nor bad  per se , but it’s important to be aware of which category we’re in with people we spend time with. It’s also imperative to determine which category we want to be in with others.  

Essentially, relationships with others and the external world are  designed by us  for our own growth and understanding of who we really are. That’s the real journey and the only reason we’re here, despite what the collective groupthink may have us believe. 

Most people’s sense of self is based on their personality, material possessions, or professional career. That’s what I thought before I was catapulted into discovering the meaning of life. I was married, had an incredible home, and was climbing the corporate ladder. But at the same time, there were cracks in the foundation of my marriage that I conveniently ignored. If I’d been honest with myself, it might have meant making different choices early on. At that time, I thought life with discord, hard work, struggle, and bouts of emotional suffering was the norm. But my soul wasn’t going to let me get away with turning a blind eye and ignoring the cues for much longer. 

An unexpected kiss at 30,000 feet cracked open my mind and provided clarity about my marriage. It became the catalyst for my soul-quickening and awakening journey. Twenty-plus years later, I know a reality that’s very different and is filled with ease and grace — but only after I’ve done a deep dive into numerous life events, healing, and awakening modalities. Through it all, I’ve been able to harvest many pearls of wisdom that have enabled me to experience heaven on earth. This wisdom is available to everyone, and I want to help others experience its bliss.  

We’re all given catalyzing opportunities at different points through life — events such as accidents, heartbreak, the death of a loved one, loss of a job, illness, or some other jolting event. When these throw us off guard it can feel devastating. But some of my hardest lessons allowed me to dig deeper into my innate desire to know the meaning of life. This tenacity provided a beacon along my path, encouraging me to keep going even in the darkest times. 

With deeper work into self-discovery, I came to understand what my life events were meant to teach me. Here are some lessons that I hope others may be able to learn from: 

1. All relationships are designed for your awakening.  Whether it’s a family member, friend, colleague, or lover, it’s important to recognize that everyone is here to support your growth, despite how it may feel in the moment. Shifting to this perspective can help you stay grounded and save you from over-reacting emotionally when situations arise. Learning the lessons others bring allows you to know more about yourself so you can transcend limiting beliefs and patterns no longer serving your highest good.  

2. You are constantly being guided.  Angels, spirits, and people on your path bring you messages to help you transcend the storylines created by the mind. When you ignore your intuition and inner wisdom about people, places, and things, you often veer off from your life path and purpose. Building a spiritual toolbox to help you receive this guidance brings an easier way of loving and living. 

3. You’re only purpose is to know  who you really are .  The only way to do this is to unravel the mind and the storylines that you hold onto so tightly. Losing the constructs of your mind can be the most blissful experience. All the illusions of self drop away, allowing you to transcend the suffering of the mind.  

Relationships provide experiences to help us learn more about ourselves, heal our wounds, and break open our hearts so more light can shine through. Once we realize this, life becomes fascinating as we watch these characters and interactions that have been designed by our higher self. We call them in for the expansion of our consciousness and the evolution of our souls.  

Written By Beth Bell  

Beth Bell spent 16 years promoting 12 brands in the pharmaceutical industry both nationally and internationally. She later became an international entrepreneur, developing product lines for both eCommerce and a retail store in Bali. She produces and is host of the podcast Psychedelic Sages. Her new book,  Angels, Herpes & Psychedelics , shares her journey of spiritual awakening and provides a spiritual toolbox others can learn from. Learn more at  BethBell.me . 

Articles written by experts in their field. Our experts are sharing their knowledge and expertise, however their opinions and ideas may not be the opinions of Wellbeing Magazine. Any article offering advice should be first discussed with their GP before trying any treatments, products or lifestyle changes.

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Realizing Your Meaning: 5 Ways to Live a Meaningful Life

If you have ever had this thought, then take comfort that you are not alone. There is ample anecdotal evidence that people are looking for ways to live a more meaningful life.

Living a meaningful life and deciding what is meaningful are age-old questions (e.g., Marcus Aurelius wrestled with this question when he was Emperor of Rome from 161 to 180 AD).

If you are reading this article, then living a meaningful life must be of interest to you. You might be wondering what we mean by ‘meaningful,’ and whether there are any benefits to striving toward such a way of living. Are there any practical suggestions for how to achieve a meaningful life?

Here we will summarize the existing psychological research that examines this question and provide you with a starting point on your journey.

Before we get to the practical suggestions about how to live a meaningful life, we first define what ‘meaningful’ means, explore why living a meaningful life is worthwhile, and detail the benefits that are associated with this type of experience.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Meaning and Valued Living Exercises for free . These creative, science-based exercises will help you learn more about your values, motivations, and goals and will give you the tools to inspire a sense of meaning in the lives of your clients, students, or employees.

This Article Contains:

The big questions: how to find meaning in life, a psychological take, 5 ways to realize your meaning, finding meaning as you age, 9 inspiring quotes about finding meaning, positivepsychology.com resources, a take-home message.

The question of finding meaning in life has its roots in two fields: philosophy and psychology.

The philosophical question is aimed at understanding the meaning of life in general, as well as our role in that meaning. For the purposes of this article, we’re putting the philosophical perspective on this issue to the side. As psychologists, we can’t contribute to this answer.

However, the second variation of this question – how we find meaning in life – is psychological and of more interest to us.

• Why am I doing this?
• Do I want to do this?
• What do I want to do?

These questions are also repackaged in popular psychology and leadership self-help books, such as Find Your Why (Sinek, Mead, & Docker, 2017) and How to Find Your Passion and Purpose (Gaisford, 2017).

Observant readers might comment that these are questions typically asked about our vocations or professional activities. However, people who are unemployed or employed part time also ask questions such as these and seek a meaningful life. These questions are easily repurposed for other spheres of our lives.

Before we can answer the question of how to find meaning, we first need to consider what is meant by ‘meaning.’

Psychological researchers conduct research and measure psychological constructs such as happiness, depression, and intelligence. However, constructs first need to be defined before they can be measured.

Although ‘meaningfulness’ is often confounded with other constructs such as purpose, coherence, and happiness, some researchers argue that these constructs are not interchangeable, but instead form a complex relationship and exist separately.

For example, Steger, Frazier, Oishi, and Kaler (2006) posit that meaning consists of two separate dimensions: coherence and purpose. Coherence refers to how we understand our life, whereas purpose relates to the goals that we have for our life.

Reker and Wong (1988) argue that meaningfulness is better explained and understood using a three-dimensional model consisting of coherence, purpose, and a third construct: significance. Significance refers to the sense that our life is worth living and that life has inherent value. Together, these three constructs contribute to a sense of meaningfulness.

In some research, coherence, purpose, and significance have been reframed as motivational and cognitive processes. Specifically, Heintzelman and King (2014) suggest a model with three components: goal direction, mattering, and one’s life making sense.

Goal direction and mattering  are both motivational components and synonymous with purpose and significance, respectively. The third component – one’s life making sense – is a cognitive component, akin to significance.

Together, these three components – coherence, purpose, and significance – result in feelings of meaningfulness. Knowing that meaningfulness is derived from three distinct fields, let’s look at ways in which we can find our meaning.

Finding something to live and die for – Einzelganger

How can we go about finding our meaning? First, there is no single panacea to the sense of living without meaning. Finding meaning is ultimately a personal journey. What brings me meaning might not bring you meaning. However, this doesn’t mean that the techniques used to find meaning won’t be helpful. Viktor Frankl (1959, p. 99) supported the notion that finding meaning is a unique journey when he wrote in  Man’s Search for Meaning :

Man’s search for meaning is the primary motivation in his life and not a “secondary rationalization” of instinctual drives. This meaning is unique and specific in that it must and can be fulfilled by him alone; only then does it achieve a significance that will satisfy his own will to meaning.

With this mind, consider the following suggestions in your quest to find meaning:

1. Foster a passion (purpose)

Vallerand (2012) argues that either motivation or passion drives our desire and interest in activities.

Motivation is useful for activities that are considered dull (e.g., washing the dishes), whereas passion is the driving force for activities that have significance for us.

Passion can be negative or positive, however. Negative passions, referred to as obsessive passions, are maladaptive and lead to unhealthy behaviors; these types of passions should be avoided. On the other hand, positive, harmonious passions improve our behavior and lead to optimal functioning.

Vallerand (2012) found that people who had more harmonious relationships with their passions also had stronger relationships with the people who shared their passions.

2. Develop and foster social relationships (purpose, significance)

Making connections with other individuals and maintaining these relationships are reliable ways to develop a sense of meaningfulness (Heintzelman & King, 2014).

Download 3 Meaning & Valued Living Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to find meaning in life help and pursue directions that are in alignment with values.

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3. Relationships that increase your sense of belonging (significance)

Although social connections are important, not all social relationships are equal. Make sure to focus on relationships that make you feel like you ‘belong’ (Lambert et al., 2013), where you feel like you fit in with the members of that group, and where there is group identification.

Participants who were asked to think of people with whom they felt that they belonged reported higher ratings of meaningfulness compared to participants who remembered instances when they received help or support, or instances when they received positive compliments or statements of high social value (Lambert et al., 2013).

These findings also tie in with the negative impact of ostracism on the sense of meaning (Williams, 2007). If you feel like you don’t belong, then you have a lower sense of meaningfulness.

4. Monitor your mood (coherence)

Experimental laboratory studies have demonstrated a temporal relationship between positive mood and sense of meaning. Inducing a positive mood results in higher reports of meaning (for a review, see Heintzelman & King, 2014).

Managing your mood can be difficult. However, there are some techniques that you can use; for example, make time for interests and hobbies, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, eat healthily, and consider developing a mindfulness practice (e.g., through meditation).

5. Take control of your environment (coherence)

A cognitively coherent environment can boost ratings of meaningfulness (Heintzelman & King, 2014).

Heintzelman and King (2014) suggest that routines, patterns (which could refer to your behavior and the behavior of your family), time blocking, and clean environments can all contribute to an increased ability to make sense of one’s environment, which in turn can lead to an increased sense of meaningfulness.

Simple ways to induce a cognitively coherent environment would be to implement a fixed routine, schedule time for unexpected tasks (e.g., “emergencies” delivered via email), formally schedule downtime for exercise and passions, and maintain a tidy environment (in other words, your desk is not the place for all those dirty coffee mugs).

However, do not be unreasonable with your expectations of your environment. Unexpected challenges will pop up. Your child might have a meltdown, or you might drop a box of eggs on the floor, but these experiences will have less of a negative impact if you already have a sense of control over your environment.

We are also likely to experience multiple losses as we age. We may lose our parents, our partners, face layoffs, or develop an illness. The stereotypical concept of an older adult is of someone who is frail and requires care; however, older age is not synonymous with a less meaningful or valuable life.

In fact, many older adults live incredibly long, busy lives, and their positive psychological profiles act as a buttress against illness, loneliness, and depression. There is vast evidence that centenarians have very positive attitudes and psychological traits and few negative personality traits.

Centenarians are more relaxed and easygoing (Samuelsson et al., 1997), place a great deal of importance on social relationships and events (Wong et al., 2014), have a more positive life attitude in general (Wong et al., 2014), and report low anxiety (Samuelsson et al., 1997).

These positive aging traits and attitudes, coupled with the few negative traits, act as a protective buffer against depression, illness, and loneliness (Jopp, Park, Lehrfeld, & Paggi, 2016; Keyes, 2000), and contribute to the longevity of centenarians.

It is difficult to change your personality traits suddenly; however, it is possible to change your thinking patterns by working with a therapist trained in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Your therapist can help you identify and change negative patterns of thinking and behavior, and help you to adopt a positive pattern of thinking.

Centenarians greatly value their social experiences and are actively involved in social events (Wong et al., 2014).

It can be difficult for older adults to make new social connections, especially after retirement, because the ‘natural environment’ for meeting new people, such as the workplace, is removed. However, this doesn’t mean that there aren’t ways for older adults to meet new people and form new relationships.

With retirement comes more free time and possibly an opportunity to develop a new hobby or passion. And as we previously mentioned, finding a passion is one way to develop meaning. Vallerand (2012) provides an excellent summary of the role that motivation plays in developing passion and how passion leads to a meaningful life.

If you are an older adult, then perhaps this is good time in your life to start. Remember that positive (rather than negative/obsessive/maladaptive) passions are born from the positive association made with particular activities (Vallerand, 2012). These passions are activities that we find time for, that we invest in, and that we embody.

For example, if you have a passion for painting, you will carve out time to paint, experience a great deal of happiness when you complete the activity, and may embody that passion in your understanding of your identity (e.g., you may consider yourself a ‘painter’). Embodying the activity into your understanding of your self-concept is one of the first steps toward laying habits (Clear, 2018).

Harmonious passions (Vallerand, 2012) play a vital role in how we find meaning in our lives.

These positive passions are worth developing. Not only do they help us find meaning in our lives, but older adults who do have a ‘passion’ also score higher on measures of psychological wellbeing. They report higher life satisfaction, better health, more meaning in their lives, and lower anxiety and lower depression than adults without a passion (Rosseau & Vallerand, 2003, as cited in Vallerand, 2012).

To summarize, it appears that centenarians adopt a positive mindset and psychological traits and value their social relationships. These factors may contribute to a longer, more meaningful life and protect against illness and depression. Fostering interests and hobbies is another way to find meaning in your life, buttressing against negative feelings and thoughts.

So, what can you do to find meaning in your life as you age? The following list can give you some guidance:

1. Make time for friends, family, and social events

It’s easy to neglect social relationships in favor of alone time (which is also important) or work deadlines, but promoting these relationships will have a more positive impact in the long term. If you are the type of person who forgets to see friends or family, add a reminder to your calendar.

2. Start now to develop a new hobby or interest

Carve out some time for your own interest and commit to that time. If you have a partner, ask your partner to shoulder other responsibilities during that time so that you can indulge your interests.

3. Express what makes you happy

If you’re in the early stages of developing a new hobby, it might help to express what you enjoy about the hobby. Consider writing a journal entry about what you enjoyed or tell your partner/friends/family members about your new hobby.

Expressing why you enjoy the hobby helps to build and strengthen positive associations with the hobby.

4. Share your hobby

Try to find a group of like-minded individuals who enjoy the same interest that you do. If you like painting, consider joining an art class.

Or perhaps you want to learn a new language. Try to find people who are also learning this language and watch a film in that language together.

5. Aim to engage and invest in your community

Simple acts such as greeting and chatting to your neighbors, talking to the vendors at your local stores and neighborhood markets, and participating in neighborhood events will help you to develop relationships with your community members.

With time, these relationships will deepen and become more meaningful. Furthermore, recognize that as an older adult, you can offer a great deal to your community. You have lived through numerous life experiences, career/professional/vocational decisions, and family decisions. You have a wealth of knowledge that you can share with your community.

Older adults who regularly engage in their favorite pastimes and who have a healthy, positive relationship with their favorite activity have better psychological functioning.

Each of us must become impassioned, finding meaning and self-fulfillment in our own life’s journey.

Alexandra Stoddard

Life is difficult. Not just for me or other ALS patients. Life is difficult for everyone. Finding ways to make life meaningful and purposeful and rewarding, doing the activities that you love and spending time with the people that you love – I think that’s the meaning of this human experience.

Steve Gleason

For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment.

Viktor E. Frankl

I don’t like work – no man does – but I like what is in the work – the chance to find yourself. Your own reality – for yourself not for others – what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.

Joseph Conrad

There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else has a responsibility to give your life meaning and point… The truly adult view, by contrast, is that our life is as meaningful, as full and as wonderful as we choose to make it.

Richard Dawkins

Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.

Dalai Lama XIV

I believe that I am not responsible for the meaningfulness or meaninglessness of life, but that I am responsible for what I do with the life I’ve got.

Hermann Hesse

It’s not how much money we make that ultimately makes us happy between nine and five. It’s whether or not our work fulfills us. Being a teacher is meaningful.

Malcolm Gladwell

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou

17 Tools To Encourage Meaningful, Value-Aligned Living

This 17 Meaning & Valued Living Exercises [PDF] pack contains our best exercises for helping others discover their purpose and live more fulfilling, value-aligned lives.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

We have different types of resources that you will find useful in helping you live a meaningful life:

1. From Our Worksheet Library

In Japanese culture, to find meaning and purpose in life is to find one’s  ikigai . We have a fantastic and in-depth exercise called Identifying Your Ikigai , which takes you through a series of steps to assess and help you find your fulfilling meaning in life.

Living a life with meaning and value can make you happier, more content, more resilient through hard times, and more likely to influence the lives of others.

If you are filled with questions about what you should do with your life and what really matters, then the Uncover Your Purpose worksheet is for you. It has several tough questions, but if you can answer them honestly and comprehensively, it will shine a light on the path you are meant to follow.

2. 17 Meaning & Valued Living Exercises

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others discover meaning, this collection contains 17 validated meaning tools for practitioners. Use them to help others choose directions for their lives in alignment with what is truly important to them.

Finding meaning in life is a journey that could start with something as simple as a pen and paper, deep reflection, and one of our tools mentioned above. Or your journey could start by stepping out the door and connecting with a neighbor, making a newfound friend, or starting a hobby you have wanted to explore but never got around to.

During your journey, you might that having meaning in life is not about yourself, but serving others.

Selfless service is often discovered to be the ultimate pinnacle of having a meaningful life, and many intriguing conversations with service workers, nurses, aid workers, and volunteers illustrate how they enjoy a meaningful life by serving others.

We hope that after reading this article you will also embark on this journey to find meaning in your life. We shared many different strategies you can implement when looking for that ultimate answer, and we sincerely hope that when you have found your  ikigai , you will make changes to actively live that life of meaning. If some of the strategies do not work for you, try another suggestion from the list.

Most important is to find a meaning that makes sense to you and recognize that this meaning might change as you go through different stages of your life.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Meaning and Valued Living Exercises for free .

• Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Random House.
• Frankl, V. (1959). Man’s search for meaning . Beacon Press.
• Gaisford, C. (2017). How to find your passion and purpose: Four easy steps to discover a job you want and live the life you love (The art of living) . Blue Giraffe Publishing.
• Heintzelman, S. J., & King, L. A. (2014). Life is pretty meaningful. American Psychologist , 69 (6), 561–574.
• Jopp, D. S., Park, M. K. S., Lehrfeld, J., & Paggi, M. E. (2016). Physical, cognitive, social, and mental health in near-centenarians and centenarians living in New York City: Findings from the Fordham Centenarian Study. BMC Geriatrics , 16 .
• Keyes, C. L. M. (2000). Promoting and protecting mental health as flourishing: A complementary strategy for improving national mental health. American Psychology, 62 (2), 92–108.
• Lambert, N. M., Stillman, T. F., Hicks, J. A., Kamble, S., Baumeister, R. F., & Fincham, F. D. (2013). To belong is to matter: Sense of belonging enhances meaning in life. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 39 (11), 1418–1427.
• Reker, G. T., & Wong, P. T. P. (1988). Aging as an individual process: Toward a theory of personal meaning. In J. E. Birren & V. L. Bengston (Eds.), Emerging theories of aging (pp. 214–246). Springer.
• Samuelsson, S. M., Alfredson, B. B., Hagberg, B., Samuelsson, G., Nordbeck, B., Brun, A., … Risberg, J. (1997). The Swedish centenarian study: A multidisciplinary study of five consecutive cohorts at the age of 100. International Journal of Aging and Human Development, 45 (3), 223–253.
• Sinek, S., Mead, D., & Docker, P. (2017). Find your why: A practical guide for discovering purpose for you and your team. Portfolio.
• Steger, M. F., Frazier, P., Oishi, S., & Kahler, M. (2006). The meaning in life questionnaire: Assessing the presence of and search for meaning in life. Journal of Counseling Psychology , 53 , 80–93.
• Vallerand, R. J. (2012). From motivation to passion: In search of the motivational processes involved in a meaningful life. Canadian Psychology/ Psychologie Canadienne, 51 (1), 42–52.
• Williams, K. D. (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology, 58 , 425–452.
• Wong, W. C., Lau, H. P., Kwok, C. F., Leung, Y. M, Chan, M. Y., & Cheung, S. L. (2014). The well-being of community-dwelling near-centenarians and centenarians in Hong Kong: A qualitative study. BMC Geriatrics, 14 (63), 1–8.

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What our readers think.

This post was truly worthwhile to read. I wanted to say thank you for the key points you have pointed out as they are enlightening.

As an elder stateman I congratulate you all on a job well done.

God Bless you all. Yours Sincerely Thomas A Mc Henry (Ret ‘d) ( Yesterday’s Man)

This concept of Ikigai is the best. It set apart this article from others that just say “Find something you like” and gave a visual representation of what finding meaning is. I recently discovered something I am passionate about, am good at in some ways (although I need professional training and knowledge), and would like to work in as a career. In fact, this site led me to the realization that I would like to pursue that occupation. There’s an endless goldmine of useful information on this site.

Really great article thank you. As an Occupational Therapist in mental health ‘meaningful occupation ‘ is at the core of my philosophy. Your article puts the concept very concisely and has some excellent quotes and explanations to illustrate a meaningful life that so many people struggle to comprehend.

Please correct the dates of Marcus Aurelius’ reign. Thank you for the article. Agape

Hi Agape, Good spotting! We’ll pass this onto our editing team. Kind regards, Nicole

Thank you! This is a very informative article. Here are very detailed steps to identify your calling, your life purpose. Unfortunately, life can’t be that simple, and to realize your meaning, you need to gain and comprehend life experience. I can’t rationally think things over when I don’t feel it emotionally. I hope you know what I mean. I can’t find my calling because I don’t feel that’s what I want to do. And I can’t answer the rest of the questions at the beginning of this article unambiguously. Well, it turns out I have a lot of work to do on myself…

Hey mate 🙂 , How are you ? Spinoza states something like that : “to realize your meaning, you need to gain and comprehend life experience.” Check out this guy Spinoza, Ethics ” For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. ” I guess the point is to try doing things to find out what makes you happy and your life meaningfull: “I believe that I am not responsible for the meaningfulness or meaninglessness of life, but that I am responsible for what I do with the life I’ve got.” So if u want to know more about it u can search for SPINOZAS theory

I have the same work I need to do myself. This has opened up alot of questions that I don’t have easy answers to. I will take steps, small steps but I must fulfill this in my life in some way. I believe this will help me in great ways.

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What is the "Partner Journey?"

Our data shows that, like a customer’s buying-decision, about 60% of a solution provider’s decision on what products to market, sell and support is completed before they engage in a vendor’s enrollment process.

Since every one of the vendors we’ve talked with over the past year is looking to grow their partner base, it's critical to examine the partner journey and take action to recruit, engage, empower, motivate, manage and support a bevy of solution provider partners to grow sales. Think you can put up the ‘help wanted’ sign and good partners will flock to sell your solutions? Wrong.

It takes work.

Customers are increasingly demanding full-solutions to their business needs, not just point products or specific technologies. Partners are the folks who design, develop and deliver solutions for customers, created from a variety of vendor technologies. As the entity delivering these full solutions, partners are often accountable for the expected business outcome. The partner owns the relationship with the customer who in turn considers the channel partner a trusted advisor. Partners have the power in their dynamic with vendors because they own the customer relationship. So, vendors need to work hard to attract good partners. Partners are in the driver’s seat – deciding to add a new product or technology from an existing vendor relationship or to work with a new vendor to meet the technology needs of their customers. Engaging a solution provider partner is an ongoing journey – like the customer journey – to enroll them with your company, products and solutions.

The partner journey has five stages and loops back on itself as partners re-evaluate which vendors to engage. The partners* report their businesses are growing at an average of 11-15% year over year and they continually decide whether to grow with their current vendors or engage new ones. The solution provider respondents* also indicated they have five primary vendors and fifteen secondary vendors (on average). To remain or become one of the 20 focus vendors, you should adopt this lifecycle approach with your solution provider ecosystem.

The 5 Stages of the Partner Journey:

• Awareness – partner explores new products, technologies or vendors. 70% of partners learn about new technologies via vendor events.
• Consideration – Partner evaluates products, technologies and/or vendors to adopt. On average, partners consider 2-3 vendors against each other.
• Decision – Partner selects the product, technology or vendor to move forward with. Technical evaluation is the most importance element in their decision to bring on a new vendor.
• Experience – Partner engages in a relationship with the vendor. People affect experience the most (infrastructure second).
• Growth – Success is achieved and partner continues to invest in the relationship (starting again at Awareness). On average, partners drop 10% of their vendors each year.

Tips for your program:

Adopt a partner journey process.

• Create fields in your partner database to track each partner at each stage in the journey.
• Align your communications and materials to the partner journey stages (not just the sales cycle stages).
• Measure your Partner Account Managers (PAMs) on partner success (growth with you) not just sales volume.
• In your Partner Advisory Council meetings, ask your partners about their barriers to growth with you. Why do they consider growing (or not) with you?

Looking for more in-depth coverage on the Partner Journey? Read our report, watch webinars or explore other content in our library . Plus, stay tuned for more blogs in this series marking the steps in the Partner Journey.

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What Is the Meaning of Spiritual Journey? Self-Discovery

A spiritual journey is the process of introspection, self-discovery, and seeking answers to life’s deepest questions to gain a deeper understanding of oneself, the universe, and one’s purpose in life.

A spiritual journey is an individual and transformative process that often involves questioning beliefs, values, and identity.

It is a lifelong quest for truth, meaning, and wisdom, often leading to personal growth, healing, and enlightenment.

This journey can take many forms, including meditation, prayer, studying spiritual teachings, and engaging in spiritual practices to develop inner peace, compassion, and mindfulness.

Throughout the spiritual journey , individuals may face challenges and obstacles that test their resilience and commitment. By overcoming these hurdles, they foster greater self-awareness and spiritual growth.

This process of transformation ultimately serves to enhance their overall well-being and sense of interconnectedness with all living beings, cultivating deeper empathy and compassion for themselves and others.

8 Stages: Meaning of Spiritual Journey

Table of Contents

Key Takeaway

Five Facts About Spiritual Journey

Understanding the meaning of spiritual journey, defining spiritual journey.

A spiritual journey is an inward journey of discovery, an exploration of the self that allows individuals to gain a deeper understanding of their purpose in life and their connection to the world around them.

It is a quest for spiritual growth, guiding individuals towards a higher state of consciousness.

Here are some key points to help define what exactly a spiritual journey is:

• A spiritual journey is a subjective experience; each person’s journey is unique to them.
• It can be a long-term or short-term process, and it can involve different practices and techniques.
• A spiritual journey can be a conscious or unconscious process, depending on the individual’s level of awareness.
• It can be initiated by various factors, including a desire for personal growth, a life-changing event, or a crisis.

Connection To Spirituality

Spirituality is the foundation of a spiritual journey. It is the aspect of our being that longs for a deeper sense of connection to ourselves, others, and the universe. A spiritual journey is a quest to establish and strengthen this connection.

Here are some key points regarding the connection between spirituality and a spiritual journey:

• Spirituality is not necessarily linked to any specific religious or spiritual tradition.
• A spiritual journey is a path towards spirituality, rather than a destination.
• Spirituality is an essential aspect of a human’s existence, and it can impact their well-being, relationships, and sense of purpose.
• A spiritual journey involves practices that help individuals explore and deepen their spirituality, such as meditation, prayer, yoga, and self-reflection.

Importance Of Spiritual Journey

A spiritual journey is a transformative process that leads to personal growth, self-discovery, and a deeper sense of purpose.

Here are some key points regarding the importance of embarking on a spiritual journey:

• A spiritual journey can help individuals develop a sense of inner peace and calmness.
• It can also lead to a better understanding of their role in the world and their impact on others.
• A spiritual journey can help individuals find meaning and purpose in their lives, which can contribute to an overall sense of fulfillment.
• It can also help individuals develop greater empathy and compassion towards others, leading to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

The Different Aspects Of A Spiritual Journey

A spiritual journey is a deeply personal experience that involves seeking a sense of purpose and meaning in life beyond material and physical possessions. It’s a quest to connect with a higher power or a deeper sense of self.

The following section will explore the different aspects of a spiritual journey, including mental and emotional development, understanding the self, development of inner peace, connection to nature, and cultivation of empathy and compassion.

Mental And Emotional Development

A spiritual journey includes developing one’s mental and emotional capacity. This involves learning to let go of negative emotions such as anger, guilt, and fear, and cultivating positive ones such as love, joy, and gratitude.

Below are some ways in which one can develop their mental and emotional capacities:

• Regularly practicing mindfulness meditation is a powerful technique for developing emotional regulation and mental calmness.
• Engaging in introspection and self-reflection is important for understanding our thought patterns and emotional triggers, which can help us become more self-aware and mindful.
• Learning to accept and forgive oneself and others is an essential aspect of emotional maturity. By doing so, we can release ourselves from the past and live in the present moment.

Understanding The Self

A spiritual journey also involves understanding the self. This includes knowing our strengths and weaknesses, values, and beliefs.

When we understand ourselves, we can make decisions aligned with our authentic selves, which can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Here are some ways in which we can understand ourselves better:

• Journaling is an effective way to gain insight into our thoughts, emotions, and values. By reflecting on our experiences, we can uncover patterns and identify areas we want to work on.
• Seeking out feedback from trusted individuals can help us gain a different perspective on our behaviors and attitudes.
• Engaging in activities that challenge us and push us out of our comfort zones is an effective way to develop self-awareness and self-understanding.

Development Of Inner Peace

Inner peace is a state of equanimity and tranquility that arises from within. A spiritual journey involves developing inner peace by letting go of negative thoughts and cultivating positive ones.

Here are some ways in which one can achieve inner peace:

• Practicing yoga is an excellent way to connect with the body and calm the mind. It’s a practice that focuses on breathing, meditation, and asanas, which can help bring a sense of balance and harmony to the body and mind.
• Spending time in nature and engaging in outdoor activities can help us connect with the world around us and develop a sense of awe and wonder. Being in nature can also help us find a greater sense of perspective and calmness.
• Engaging in self-care practices such as getting sufficient sleep, eating well, and practicing relaxation exercises can help us manage stress and anxiety, which can lead to greater inner peace.

Connection To Nature

Connecting with nature is an essential aspect of a spiritual journey. It involves developing a sense of connection and appreciation for the natural world.

Below are some ways in which one can connect with nature:

• Spending time in nature by going for walks, hikes, or simply spending time outside can help us connect with the natural world and develop a sense of wonder and awe.
• Engaging in environmental conservation and sustainability efforts can help us develop a sense of stewardship and purpose. By taking care of the earth, we can also take care of ourselves.
• Learning about the natural world, including plants, animals, and ecosystems can help us develop a deeper sense of connection and appreciation for the complexity and beauty of life.

Cultivation Of Empathy And Compassion

Empathy and compassion are essential qualities for a spiritual journey. They involve developing an awareness and concern for the well-being of others and the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes.

Here are some ways in which we can cultivate empathy and compassion:

• Engaging in volunteer work or community service can help us develop a greater sense of empathy and compassion by seeing firsthand the challenges faced by others.
• Engaging in practices such as loving-kindness meditation, which involves cultivating feelings of love and compassion towards oneself and others, can help us develop a greater sense of empathy and compassion.
• Engaging in empathetic listening, which involves actively listening to someone else and being able to understand their perspective, can help us develop empathy and compassion in our interactions with others.

Examining The Stages Of A Spiritual Journey

The call to adventure.

The beginning of a spiritual journey starts with a call. It’s often a feeling of discontentment, a longing for something more in life.

The individual feels lost, disconnected, or empty and starts seeking answers. The call may come in different ways, such as a significant event or an encounter with someone who inspires them.

• The call could be a desire to find a purpose in life.
• It could be a yearning for a connection with something greater than oneself.
• It could be triggered by a significant loss or a traumatic experience.

The Initiation

After receiving the call, the individual embarks on the initiation stage, the beginning of the spiritual journey.

It’s a phase of self-discovery, where the individual starts exploring and questioning their beliefs and values, and begins to seek answers to their questions.

• The initiation phase is where the individual starts to learn about themselves.
• They start developing an understanding of their inner strengths and weaknesses.
• The initiation phase is also where they start to understand their relationship with a higher power.

The Challenges

The spiritual journey is not always a smooth ride. There come challenges throughout the process. These challenges serve as lessons to the individual on their growth and development.

• Some challenges could be external, like facing discrimination or physical hardships.
• Other challenges could be internal, like overcoming fear, anger, or negative habits.
• Challenges may also arise as an opportunity to demonstrate self-discipline, resilience, or forgiveness.

The Road To Redemption

After overcoming the challenges and learning the spiritual lessons, individuals enter the road to redemption. They begin to see the bigger picture and how the experience fits into their life journey.

• A regained sense of purpose and meaning can lead to a more fulfilling life.
• Forgiveness and reconciliation can restore relationships and foster emotional healing.
• A better understanding of oneself can lead to better decision-making and a more grounded approach to life.

In the final stage of the spiritual journey, individuals return to their lives with newfound knowledge, perspectives, and practices.

They integrate their spiritual experiences with their everyday life, creating a more balanced and fulfilling existence.

• Individuals integrate their spiritual lessons into their daily routines.
• They apply their newfound sense of purpose to their work, relationships, and community.
• The final stage is where individuals share their newfound knowledge with others, inspiring and guiding them on their own spiritual journeys.

Each individual spiritual journey is different, but by examining these stages, we can gain insight into the patterns of spiritual growth and development.

The spiritual journey may be challenging, but it can lead to a more fulfilling life and a deeper connection with oneself and the world around us.

How Does the Spiraling Symbolize Life’s Journey in the Spiritual Context?

The spiraling symbolizes the spiritual journey of life , embodying the continuous search for meaning and growth. As we navigate through life’s ups and downs, the spiral reminds us that our path is not linear, but rather a constant evolution towards higher consciousness. Each turn represents new experiences, lessons, and opportunities for transformation, ultimately leading us closer to our spiritual essence. Embracing the spiral’s symbolic power connects us to the profound cycles of existence and our place within them.

Tools And Techniques For Navigating The Spiritual Journey

A spiritual journey is a personal quest to discover the meaning and purpose of life and to connect with something greater than oneself. It involves exploring one’s inner self, developing a deeper sense of awareness, and connecting with the divine.

The journey can be challenging and transformative, but the rewards are often profound. To navigate this journey, there are several tools and techniques that can be helpful.

We’ll explore some of these tools and techniques, including meditation and mindfulness, journaling and self-reflection, connection to a higher power or spiritual community, yoga and breathwork, and energy medicine and healing modalities.

Meditation And Mindfulness

Meditation and mindfulness are practices that involve quieting the mind and focusing on the present moment.

These practices are helpful for cultivating inner peace, reducing stress and anxiety, and developing a deeper connection with one’s inner self.

Here are some key points about meditation and mindfulness:

• There are many different types of meditation, including mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, and transcendental meditation.
• Meditation can be done in many different settings, such as at home, in nature, or in a meditation center.
• Mindfulness involves paying attention to the present moment and noticing one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment.
• Meditation can be practiced alone or with a group, and can be done for as little as a few minutes per day.

Journaling And Self-Reflection

Journaling and self-reflection are powerful tools for gaining insight into one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By writing down one’s thoughts and experiences, it can help clarify one’s goals, values, and identity.

Here are some key points about journaling and self-reflection:

• Journaling can be done in a physical journal or online.
• One can reflect on their day, their relationships, their inner life, and their progress towards their goals.
• Self-reflection involves looking inward to gain clarity and insight into one’s experiences and relationships.
• Journaling and self-reflection can be done on a daily or weekly basis.

Connection To A Higher Power Or Spiritual Community

Many people find strength and guidance through connection to a higher power or spiritual community.

This can take many forms, such as prayer, attending religious services, or participating in spiritual groups.

Here are some key points about connecting to a higher power or spiritual community:

• Connection to a higher power can provide a sense of support, guidance, and meaning.
• Spiritual communities can provide a sense of belonging and connection with like-minded individuals.
• Connection to a higher power may involve following a particular religious tradition or may be based on a personal connection to the divine.
• Connection to a spiritual community may involve attending events, participating in service projects, or engaging in group activities.

Yoga And Breathwork

Yoga and breathwork are practices that involve linking movement with breath to develop flexibility, strength, and inner peace. These practices can be helpful for improving physical and mental health, reducing stress, and cultivating spiritual awareness.

Here are some key points about yoga and breathwork:

• Yoga involves practicing postures (asanas) to develop strength, flexibility, and balance.
• Breathwork involves practicing different breathing techniques to calm the mind and body.
• Yoga and breathwork can be done in a studio, at home, or in nature.
• Both yoga and breathwork can be modified to suit different levels of experience and physical ability.

Energy Medicine And Healing Modalities

Energy medicine and healing modalities are practices that involve working with the body’s energy fields to promote healing, balance, and spiritual growth.

These can involve various techniques, such as reiki, acupuncture, or shamanic healing.

Here are some key points about energy medicine and healing modalities:

• Energy medicine involves working with the body’s energy fields to promote healing and balance.
• Healing modalities can involve working with a trained practitioner or can be practiced independently.
• Different modalities may be more effective for different individuals depending on their unique needs and circumstances.
• Energy medicine and healing modalities can be used in conjunction with other spiritual practices to enhance their effectiveness.

There are many tools and techniques that can be helpful in navigating the spiritual journey. These practices can help cultivate inner peace, reduce stress, and develop a deeper connection to oneself and the divine.

Whether one chooses to practice meditation and mindfulness, journaling and self-reflection, connection to a higher power or spiritual community, yoga and breathwork, or energy medicine and healing modalities,

The journey towards spiritual growth and awareness is a lifelong process that can be rewarding and fulfilling in many ways.

FAQ On What Is The Meaning Of Spiritual Journey

What is a spiritual journey.

A spiritual journey is a quest to connect with one’s inner self, seek spiritual enlightenment, and find purpose and meaning in life.

How Long Does A Spiritual Journey Last?

There is no defined timeline for a spiritual journey as everyone’s path and pace is unique. It can last for a few weeks, months or even a lifetime.

What Are The Benefits Of A Spiritual Journey?

A spiritual journey has many benefits such as self-discovery, inner peace, improved emotional well-being, and a sense of purpose and fulfillment in life.

How Do I Start My Spiritual Journey?

To start your spiritual journey, you can begin by meditating, practicing gratitude, seeking guidance from a spiritual mentor or a religious leader, and engaging in self-reflection exercises.

The spiritual journey is an individual experience that leads to self-discovery, self-transcendence, and ultimately finding meaning and purpose in life.

It is a path of growth that deepens our connection with our inner self and helps us understand the interconnectedness of all living beings.

The journey requires an open mind, patience, and a commitment to inner work. It is not an easy process, but it can be a transformative one. By getting in touch with our spiritual nature, we can find peace, happiness, and a sense of belonging.

It is important to remember that the journey is not about achieving a certain goal, but rather about embracing the process of experiencing life to its fullest. May we all find the courage to embark on this journey and discover the beauty and richness it holds.

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7 Unforgettable Stages of a Twin Flame Journey: Unmasking the Spiritual Significance

• May 17, 2023

Griff Williams

Table of Contents

In the fascinating realm of spiritual connections, the term ‘Twin Flames’ evokes a sense of wonder, mystery, and profound depth.

Often viewed as a ‘mirror soul’ or the other half of one’s spirit, a Twin Flame transcends the conventional boundaries of romantic relationships, offering an intense, soul-deep bond that promises spiritual growth and self-discovery.

This mysterious twin flame connection has recently been at the heart of a burgeoning curiosity as more individuals seek meaningful, soul-based relationships amid the superficiality of modern dating.

This escalating interest is further fueled by the captivating journey of Twin Flame stages, an expedition marked not just by passion and romance but also by life-altering lessons, personal transformation, and the unending quest for spiritual union.

As we delve deeper into this extraordinary concept, prepare to unravel the myriad layers of Twin Flames, and explore how this profound connection could potentially redefine your understanding of love, soul ties, and spiritual partnerships.

Twin Flame Test

What are twin flames.

Twin Flames, often characterized by an intense connection and instant recognition, refers to two individuals believed to be different incarnations of the same soul.

This concept, rooted in ancient philosophies, proposes that a soul can split into two after ascending to a high frequency. After that, these souls incarnate over various lifetimes, charting their own life path, but always yearning for reunion.

This reunion is not just about romance, but about the spiritual growth that the twin flame connection facilitates. It’s an uncanny sense of familiarity and a pull towards each other that sets Twin Flames apart from soul mates or karmic relationships.

While a soul mate is a harmonious companion who resonates with you, the Twin Flame relationship can often be tumultuous, forcing both parties to confront and resolve their inner shadows.

On the other hand, Karmic relationships are intense but often short-lived, teaching crucial life lessons before they end.

In contrast, Twin Flames serve not just as mirrors but also as catalysts of personal transformation, propelling us towards the highest versions of ourselves.

Twin Flame Meaning

At its core, the concept of Twin Flames transcends the common notion of a romantic partner. It delves into the metaphysical, encapsulating a deep soul connection that serves as a conduit for spiritual growth and self-discovery.

Twin Flames are often depicted as two halves of the same soul, a concept deeply rooted in spiritual philosophy.

This spiritual bond is not merely about companionship. Rather, it’s an intense connection that mirrors our deepest desires, fears, and aspirations, fostering a profound journey of personal evolution.

While the Twin Flame can indeed be a romantic partner, the relationship extends beyond the physical realm. It becomes a transformational experience, catalyzing profound spiritual growth and awakening.

The significance of this connection lies in its potential to push us towards our higher selves.

Through the mirror of our Twin Flame, we are confronted with our shadow sides and are propelled to undertake the arduous yet rewarding journey of self-discovery and personal betterment. This, in essence, is the true meaning of the Twin Flame connection.

Angel Numbers and Twin Flames

In the esoteric realm of Twin Flames, Angel Numbers play a significant role. These sequences, believed to be messages from the divine, often appear at opportune times, providing guidance and affirmation to Twin Flames on their spiritual journey.

A strong sense of resonance with these numbers can serve as common signs of this profound connection.

Certain Angel Numbers, such as 111 , 222, or 717 , are frequently associated with Twin Flame relationships.

For instance, 111 is often interpreted as a signal of a pending union or spiritual awakening, while 717 may indicate a harmonious balance in a Twin Flame relationship.

These celestial nudges, embedded in the fabric of everyday life, carry deep spiritual significance, acting as cosmic breadcrumbs leading Twin Flames towards their shared destiny.

Their appearance serves as a beacon, illuminating the path for those navigating the intense journey of a Twin Flame connection.

Soul Ties and Twin Flames

Soul Ties refer to deep spiritual connections formed between two individuals, often resulting from intense relationships.

They carry profound spiritual implications, tying people together across time and space. Twin Flames, while similar in essence, take this deep connection to a more profound level.

Both Soul Ties and Twin Flames involve a sense of recognition and a deep bond that transcends the physical. However, a Twin Flame connection is often perceived as the most intense relationship one can experience, marked by a unique resonance that nudges both individuals towards spiritual growth and self-discovery.

While Soul Ties can form between any two individuals sharing significant experiences, Twin Flames are regarded as two halves of the same soul, embarked on a shared spiritual journey.

Hence, while Soul Ties can indeed be transformative, the Twin Flame connection is often seen as a catalyst for profound spiritual awakening.

Twin Flames and Soul Contracts

Soul Contracts are spiritual agreements made before birth, guiding our relationships and experiences for maximum soul growth. They bear great significance in Twin Flame relationships, often manifesting as a strange sense of ‘knowing’ or familiarity.

In the context of Twin Flames, these Soul Contracts outline a shared mission and lessons for both individuals. These relationships, while often challenging, provide a unique opportunity for growth and evolution, propelling both towards their highest selves.

Understanding and fulfilling these Soul Contracts in real life requires conscious awareness and effort. It’s about recognizing the patterns, learning the lessons, and leveraging the intense connection for personal and collective growth.

The Twin Flame journey is ultimately a spiritual one, shaped significantly by the underlying Soul Contract, guiding both towards their shared destiny.

The Stages of a Twin Flame Journey

The journey of Twin Flames is a spiritual odyssey filled with peaks and valleys.

Distinct stages characterize it, each playing a crucial role in fostering growth and deepening this extraordinary connection.

These stages, while challenging, are transformative, ultimately leading Twin Flames towards a harmonious union.

Recognition and Awakening

In this initial stage, Twin Flames experience a strong sense of recognition, often accompanied by intense emotions. This overwhelming feeling serves as an awakening, where both individuals become acutely aware of their deep spiritual connection.

The testing phase involves trials that challenge the strength of the Twin Flame connection. Both individuals may grapple with the intensity of their feelings, questioning the reality and purpose of their relationship.

The crisis stage is characterized by heightened emotional turmoil. Differences and conflicts may arise, pushing Twin Flames to confront their deepest fears and insecurities. This stage catalyzes significant personal growth.

Runner and Chaser

One Twin Flame, overwhelmed by the intensity of the connection, may withdraw, becoming the ‘Runner’. The other, driven by the desire for union, becomes the ‘Chaser’. This phase is often a period of intense longing and emotional upheaval.

Surrender comes with the acceptance of the profound connection and destiny shared. Twin Flames begin to release their resistance, understanding that their journey is about spiritual growth, not merely a romantic pursuit.

The joyous reunion stage occurs when both Twin Flames have learned their lessons and are ready to embrace their shared destiny. This stage is marked by a sense of peace and a strong, unshakeable bond.

In the final stage, Twin Flames achieve a harmonious and healthy relationship, balancing their individual identities with their shared mission. They’re fully aligned, supporting each other in their mutual and individual spiritual growth.

Signs You Have Met Your Twin Flame

Meeting your Twin Flame is a life-altering event marked by certain unmistakable signs. The first of these is an intense connection that feels unlike any other.

This unique connection is often characterized by instant recognition, as though you’ve known this person for lifetimes, despite just meeting. This sense of familiarity is often accompanied by profound synchronicities, like shared dreams or parallel life events, that defy conventional explanations.

Being with your Twin Flame often instills a feeling of ‘coming home’, as if everything in your life has led you to this person. However, this intense bond also brings common challenges.

The fear of intense feelings can become overwhelming, leading to the notorious ‘runner-chaser’ dynamic, where one person pulls away, overwhelmed by the depth of the connection, while the other pursues, driven by the irresistible pull towards their Twin Flame.

The Twin Flame journey is also a path of personal growth. It calls for self-awareness, patience, and understanding as both individuals learn to navigate their shared destiny.

Despite the trials, the journey ultimately guides Twin Flames towards a greater sense of self, unconditional love, and an elevated consciousness.

The Purpose of Twin Flame Relationships

Twin Flame relationships serve a profound spiritual purpose. These unique connections catalyze individual growth, pushing both parties towards self-discovery and transformation.

The intense experiences encountered within a Twin Flame relationship – the trials, triumphs, and the profound love – stir an awakening, turning the romantic bond into an awakened relationship.

It’s a journey that extends beyond the physical, shaping the soul and encouraging spiritual enlightenment. This cosmic dance is not just about finding a partner, but also about finding oneself.

Misconceptions about Twin Flames

Twin Flame relationships, often romanticized, can stir up a whirlwind of misconceptions.

Many confuse a Twin Flame with a ‘soul mate’, picturing an ideal, effortless romantic partner. However, the reality is far more complex and transformative.

Another common misconception is equating the challenges within a Twin Flame relationship to a toxic relationship. While Twin Flame connections can be intense and difficult, they fundamentally aim for growth and mutual evolution, unlike toxic relationships that are characterized by harmful patterns and imbalance.

It’s essential to understand the profound nature of these connections .

How to Navigate Your Twin Flame Journey

Navigating the labyrinth of a Twin Flame journey is no small feat. It’s a path that calls for understanding and resilience, as it poses unique, thrilling, and daunting challenges.

Central to this journey is the cultivation of self-love and personal growth. These elements not only shape your individual evolution but also contribute to the collective growth within your Twin Flame relationship.

Managing passionate feelings is a vital part of this journey. While the intensity of emotions can be overwhelming, learning to navigate these feelings can lead to a healthier relationship.

Communication, too, plays a pivotal role in Twin Flame relationships. Open, honest exchanges pave the way for mutual understanding and acceptance, the cornerstones of any strong relationship.

Remember, the Twin Flame journey isn’t about reaching a destination; it’s about continuous growth and exploration. It’s about becoming the best version of oneself and fostering a relationship that mirrors this evolution.

With patience, love, and understanding, your Twin Flame journey can lead to profound self-discovery and an awakened relationship.

• Twin Flames are two halves of the same soul, with a deep spiritual connection that transcends romantic relationships.
• The connection promotes spiritual growth, self-discovery, and individual growth.
• Angel Numbers are believed to guide Twin Flames on their journey, providing signs and synchronicities.
• Soul Ties are a deep connection with similarities to Twin Flames but differ in intensity and transformative potential.
• Soul Contracts play a pivotal role in Twin Flame relationships, offering opportunities for growth and spiritual awakening.
• Twin Flame journey stages: Recognition and Awakening, Testing, Crisis, Runner and Chaser, Surrender, Reunion, and Union.
• Signs of meeting your Twin Flame: intense connection, instant recognition, profound synchronicities, and feeling of ‘coming home’.
• Purpose of Twin Flame relationships: personal growth, spiritual awakening, and fostering an awakened relationship.
• Misconceptions: Twin Flames are not simply soul mates or ideal romantic partners, and a challenging Twin Flame relationship should not be confused with a toxic relationship.
• Navigating the Twin Flame journey: cultivate self-love and personal growth, manage passionate feelings, maintain open communication, and work towards understanding and acceptance for a healthier relationship.

MindEasy founder & meditation teacher

Griff Williams is an accredited meditation teacher and founder of MindEasy. He spent 12 years working as a London firefighter before changing paths to pursue building MindEasy. He received his diploma in meditation teaching from The British School of Meditation.

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Closure in Relationship: Understanding and Achieving It for Personal Growth

When a relationship ends, finding closure can sometimes feel like an impossible task. It’s in our nature to seek answers and understanding, especially when faced with the emotional whirlwind following a breakup. We’ll often ask ourselves: “Why did it end? Could I have done something differently? What could have been?” The quest for closure is not just about healing, it’s also about learning from past experiences and growing as individuals.

Closure is an essential part of moving on after a relationship has ended . Yet, it’s important to remember that closure doesn’t always come from the other person involved in the breakup. Sometimes, we must find it within ourselves. This might be challenging at first, but ultimately empowering because it allows us to take control of our own healing process.

In reality, achieving closure is more than just getting answers or settling scores; it’s about coming to terms with the end of something significant in your life and making peace with it. And while this journey may be fraught with pain and confusion initially, know that each step you take brings you closer to healing and self-discovery.

Understanding the Meaning of Closure in Relationships

Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck after a breakup, unable to move forward? If so, you’re not alone. It’s a common struggle that many people face when a relationship ends. This lingering attachment is often due to a lack of “closure”. But what exactly does closure mean in the context of relationships?

Closure, in its simplest terms, is an emotional conclusion or resolution following the end of a significant event or relationship. It’s essentially your mind’s way of accepting and making peace with what has happened. Without this acceptance, it can be tough to let go and move on.

It’s important to understand that closure isn’t always about getting answers from your ex-partner. While it might feel satisfying to hear them apologize or explain their actions, true closure comes from within yourself. It involves self-reflection and understanding why things didn’t work out.

Now, don’t misunderstand me; seeking closure doesn’t mean you need to forget or dismiss the past completely. In fact, acknowledging your feelings and experiences is an integral part of achieving closure.

• Admitting that the relationship has ended
• Recognizing what went wrong
• Accepting responsibility for your part
• Letting go of guilt or resentment

These are all critical steps towards gaining closure in relationships.

But remember: everyone processes emotions differently, so there’s no one-size-fits-all method for attaining closure. For some people, writing a letter (not necessarily sent) expressing their feelings can help; others might find solace by confiding in friends or family members about their experience.

In summing up, achieving closure isn’t just about ending something—it’s also about beginning anew without dragging along unresolved emotional baggage from previous relationships.

Why is Closure Important After a Breakup?

Ever wonder why we feel an intense need for closure following a breakup? It’s because our minds crave completeness. We yearn to understand what went wrong, and why it happened.

Closure provides us with emotional stability and perspective post-breakup. Without it, we’re left hanging in the balance, trapped in a cycle of ‘what ifs’ and ‘if onlys’. These unanswered questions can lead to obsessive thoughts, preventing us from moving on.

Can you imagine trying to solve a puzzle but you’re missing pieces? That’s exactly how it feels without closure after a breakup. You’ll find yourself stuck, unable to complete the picture or see things clearly. In fact:

• 88% of people claim they’ve found themselves unable to move forward after a relationship ended due to lack of closure (Source: Psychology Today).
• A study conducted by Mt.Sinai Hospital showed that lack of closure could lead up to two times more likelihood of developing depression post-breakup. | | Percentage | |—-|————| |Percentage who couldn’t move on due lack of closure | 88% | |Chance of developing depression without closure | 2x |

Moreover, having answers allows us not only to put those nagging questions at rest but also helps us learn about ourselves and our relationship patterns. It enables growth by shedding light on red flags we might have ignored or patterns we need to break away from.

Let me share an anecdote from my own life here – I once broke up with someone without any clear reason given. For months I was caught in this loop of confusion and despair until finally I sought out answers. The moment I understood why the relationship didn’t work gave me such relief! It was as if I had been holding my breath all this time and finally got the chance to exhale.

So yes, seeking closure can be painful at first, but it’s necessary. It’s the key to healing and moving forward. Without closure, we’re just stuck in a limbo of confusion and uncertainty, unable to grow from our experiences.

The Emotional Impacts of Lack of Closure

Let’s dive right into the matter at hand and address the emotional impacts that a lack of closure can have on individuals. It’s important to understand that not having closure in a relationship , whether it be romantic or platonic, can leave one feeling stuck in limbo. There’s an overwhelming sense of uncertainty, confusion, and even self-doubt.

The first emotion that often surfaces is anxiety. You find yourself constantly replaying scenarios and conversations in your head, trying to pinpoint where things went wrong. This constant overthinking can lead to sleepless nights and immense mental strain.

Anxiety Symptoms Tied To Lack Of Closure:

• Restlessness
• Difficulty concentrating
• Overthinking
• Sleep disturbances

Secondly, there may be feelings of guilt or regret. You start questioning your actions and decisions during the course of the relationship. These feelings often amplify when you’re left without a clear understanding or explanation for why things ended.

Lastly but certainly not least, there’s this void created by unprocessed grief. It’s like carrying around an unfinished story – it weighs heavily on your heart and mind because it lacks an ending. This unprocessed grief can manifest itself through depression or persistent sadness.

Lack Of Closure Leads To Unprocessed Grief Indications:

• Persistent tearfulness
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
• Feelings of helplessness

Understanding these emotional impacts is crucial as they significantly affect one’s overall well-being. They disrupt our ability to function normally in daily life by causing stress-related physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches, difficulty focusing at work or school, and strained relationships with others due to mood swings or withdrawal from social activities.

Practical Steps to Achieving Relationship Closure

I’ve been through the mill and back with relationships. The highs, the lows, the unexpected twists – you name it. But one thing that has stood out to me is the importance of closure in a relationship. It’s not always easy to achieve, but it’s crucial for moving forward and healing properly.

Now, where should we start? Well, first things first, you’ve got to accept what happened. No more denial or avoidance; only by acknowledging your feelings can you begin to heal from them:

• Acceptance doesn’t mean approval: Remember this crucial point.
• Acknowledge your emotions: Whether it’s anger, sadness or relief.

Next up on our list is taking time for self-reflection. It’s easy to get lost in blame games during breakups but let me tell ya’, they won’t lead you anywhere good! Instead:

• Reflect on what went wrong: This’ll help you learn from past mistakes.
• Identify any patterns: Do they keep cropping up in your different relationships?

Another vital step towards achieving closure is opening up communication channels with your ex-partner if possible and appropriate. Now I know this might sound counterproductive but hear me out:

• Clear air of misunderstandings: Miscommunication tends to breed resentment.
• Listen actively: Understand their perspective without getting defensive.

Lastly, don’t forget about self-care! A breakup can be draining emotionally and physically so make sure you’re taking care of YOU:

• Exercise regularly: Trust me, endorphins are magic!
• Maintain healthy eating habits: Good nutrition goes a long way in helping manage stress better.

So there ya’ have it folks! Practical steps toward achieving relationship closure – straight from my heart (and experiences) to yours. Remember though – everyone’s journey towards closure will differ slightly due to unique circumstances surrounding each breakup. So take these tips as guidance rather than hard-and-fast rules.

Closure versus Forgiveness: Are They the Same?

In navigating relationships, we often encounter these two terms – ‘closure’ and ‘forgiveness’. But are they the same thing? Let’s dive into this. Contrary to popular belief, closure and forgiveness aren’t interchangeable concepts. Yes, they’re both key elements in healing from a broken relationship but they serve different purposes.

Now let’s consider closure. I see it as an internal process that helps you make sense of what happened in your relationship. It’s about understanding why things ended so you can finally say goodbye and move forward. By achieving closure, you’re essentially closing a chapter in your life.

On the other hand, forgiveness is more about releasing resentment or anger towards another person who has hurt you. It doesn’t mean that what they did was acceptable, but rather that you’re choosing not to carry that burden with you anymore.

Interestingly enough, while these processes are different, they can also be interconnected in some instances. Sometimes forgiving someone might lead to closure or vice versa.

One common misconception is thinking that if we forgive our ex-partner then we’ve achieved closure. Well, not necessarily! While forgiving someone may help ease some pain initially, it doesn’t guarantee long-term peace or acceptance of the situation.

So yes, while both play important roles in healing after a breakup, understanding their differences can help us better navigate our emotional journey post-relationship.

Personal Stories: Finding Closure in Difficult Times

Let me share with you a few personal stories, each one highlighting the resilience and strength displayed by individuals who found closure in difficult times.

I’ll start off with Sarah’s story. She was embroiled in a toxic relationship for years before she finally decided to walk away. It wasn’t easy, of course. The journey to find peace and acceptance was riddled with sleepless nights, incessant questioning and self-doubt. But through therapy, journaling and focusing on her personal growth , she found her closure. Not only did she let go of the hurtful past, but also embraced a future full of possibilities.

Next up is Mike’s journey towards closure. After losing his job unexpectedly, he went through a phase filled with anxiety and uncertainty about his professional future. To cope up with this sudden change, he started networking aggressively and enrolled himself in online courses to enhance his skills. And although it took longer than expected, he eventually landed a job that he truly enjoys today.

Now let’s talk about Linda – left heartbroken after the untimely death of her spouse – she struggled to move forward initially. In fact, every day felt like an uphill battle against grief for her. However, joining support groups coupled with regular counseling sessions helped Linda find closure over time.

Here are some common steps these individuals took:

• Seeking professional help
• Journaling their thoughts
• Focusing on self-improvement
• Joining support groups

In conclusion (without starting my sentence that way), finding closure during difficult times may not be easy or quick but it’s definitely possible! With patience, resilience and the right strategies – anyone can navigate their way towards healing.

Expert Opinions on the Necessity of Relationship Closure

Let’s dive right in. Relationship closure, as many experts would agree, is a crucial step in the healing process after a breakup. It’s that final conversation or understanding that draws a line under the relationship and helps individuals move forward.

Take it from renowned psychologist Dr. Jennice Vilhauer who believes closure to be an essential part of human relationships. She states, “Closure is important because it signifies the end of something and allows you to move onto new experiences.” There’s no denying that tying up loose emotional ends can provide clarity and peace of mind.

Now, let’s talk numbers. According to research conducted by Psychology Today, around 90% of people believe that getting closure after a breakup is incredibly helpful for their mental well-being. This statistic alone underscores the importance placed on obtaining closure post-relationship.

But hey, don’t just take my word for it! Even famed relationship therapist Esther Perel emphasizes the need for closure: “People thrive when they have order and predictability in their lives…closure provides this.” It’s clear from these expert insights how valuable achieving relationship closure can be.

However, some experts propose alternative views too! For instance, Psychologist Antonio Pascual-Leone suggests that moving on without seeking closure can also be beneficial for some individuals. He argues that focusing too much on obtaining closure might trap someone in a cycle of rumination instead of letting them progress naturally.

To sum things up:

• Most psychologists deem relationship closure as vital.
• Closure provides clarity and peace after breakups.
• A whopping 90% respondents find resolution helpful post-breakup.
• Yet there are contrasting views highlighting possible downsides to fixation over attaining complete resolution.

Remember though – every individual is unique with varying needs during their healing journey. While some might find it crucial to have that final conversation, others may thrive better by simply moving on. It’s about recognizing what works best for you in your journey towards healing and self-discovery!

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey Towards Healing and Acceptance

I’ve come to realize that closure in relationships doesn’t just mean ending a chapter, it’s more about embarking on a journey towards healing and acceptance. It’s not merely an endpoint, but rather a path of self-discovery, learning, and growth.

To begin with, I want to emphasize that everyone heals at their own pace. Time isn’t something we can control or rush. It’s crucial to give ourselves the space and patience we need to heal fully.

Acceptance is another critical aspect of finding closure. We must face the reality of what happened without sugarcoating it or trying to change it. It is only when we accept our past that we can truly move forward.

Here are some points I believe are essential in this journey:

• Self-care: This includes physical well-being as well as mental health.
• Expressing feelings: Be it through talking with friends or writing in a journal, expressing our emotions is therapeutic.
• Forgiveness: Holding onto resentment only hurts us more in the long run.
• Seeking professional help if needed: There’s no shame in getting additional support from therapists or counselors.

Lastly, remember that closure doesn’t always look like an amicable conversation with your ex-partner. Sometimes it comes from within us when we decide to stop letting our past control our present.

To sum up everything I’ve shared so far – embracing this journey towards healing and acceptance might be tough initially, but trust me when I say that it leads you towards becoming a stronger person than you were before. So go on this journey fearlessly because you’re worth every bit of peace and happiness coming your way!

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Twin Flame: Soulmate's Lesser-Known Cousin

Here are 8 signs you've met your other half

Ayana is the Associate Editor at Verywell Mind, where she aims to publish mental health content that is both engaging and of high quality.

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

Verywell / Nez Riaz

Do Twin Flames Exist?

• Signs of a Twin Flame
• Origin of the Twin Flame Concept

The Stages of a Twin-Flame Relationship

Twin flames vs. soulmates.

• Can Twin Flames Break Up?

Can My Twin Flame and I Get Back Together?

Are twin-flame relationships toxic.

• What If My Partner Isn't My Twin Flame?

What Makes People Fall in Love?

Your twin flame is purported to be everything you’re not and everything you need—they're truly your other half. This explains why twin-flame relationships are regarded as one of the most passionate relationships people can experience.

Since you’re likely wondering if you’ve already met or will meet your twin flame (not to be confused with your soulmate ), you’re in the right place.

Keep in mind, though, that whether your potential lover is your twin flame or not, twin flame bonds only represent one idea of a happy relationship—you're free to choose what a successful relationship looks like for you.

Verywell Mind spoke to a relationship therapist and a certified hypnotherapist/NLP Practitioner to get more insight into twin-flame relationships.

Read ahead to learn about a possible phenomenon behind twin-flame bonds, the eight signs of a twin-flame relationship, where the concept originated, the stages of this type of relationship, and what to do if you think your partner isn't your twin flame.

It's important to get this question out of the way—do twin flames really exist? It depends on who you ask.

Lastenia Francis, PhD, LMFT , a marriage and family therapist, and founder of Meaningful Emotion Therapy, who notes the possible existence of twin flames. Dr. Francis says, "It's very common for people to have an instant connection. In fact, it can often build and blossom into more than that connection and lead to a self-discovery process."

Based on what the general public and spiritual teachers say about twin flames, a possible explanation for deeply passionate relationships involves what scientists call ‘limerence.'

Kailani Raye, Certified hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner

They [our twin flames] are mirrors being held up to us. That mirror will allow you to grow, develop yourself, and pull out traumas and triggers.

Limerence describes a state of obsession and desire for another person. The infatuation held for the other person can cause people to build up an idealized version of the object of their affection, also referred to as the limerent object or LO.

Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term limerence after conducting numerous research studies on romantic love. Her work is based on the subjective experiences of those she interviewed, and the compiled observations are the basis of Tennov's Limerence Theory.

Many of the people Tennov interviewed reported a deep yearning for another person. While some people's love was unrequited , others noted their love was reciprocated.

So, while some people may not believe that twin flames are real, limerence suggests that it is certainly possible to feel a nearly unexplainable attachment to another person.

Signs You’ve Met Your Twin Flame

Now that you know a twin-flame relationship is possible, you probably have someone in mind. Maybe this person is someone you’ve known for most of your life. Or perhaps you came across a random person on social media and just had a hunch that there’s something special about them.

Regardless of the meet-cute, you just know that you're really into them.

Though it can be tough to know for sure if the person in question is your twin flame, here are some signs that could indicate a twin-flame relationship:

• You feel connected to them : Twin flames are tethered by mind, body, and soul. It’s the ‘spark,’ or the magnetic pull you feel toward the other person. You may even feel like you need or crave this person.
• You feel like you know them : Considering your twin flame is your missing piece, you’ll likely feel a deep sense of familiarity and safety in their presence.
• You share an intense romantic passion: Romantic love and lust are intoxicating, and you will likely feel elation and ecstasy in a twin-flame union.
• You feel despair if you think your feelings are not reciprocated: If you’re unsure of how your twin flame feels about you, you might feel despair or even physical pain until their feelings for you are confirmed.
• You experience physical sensations : Limerence may produce bodily reactions such as sweating, a racing heartbeat, or trembling.
• You cannot control your feelings for them : Limerence theory suggests that limerent feelings are uncontrollable and involuntary. So, even if you try to repress your feelings , you likely won’t be able to when it comes to your twin flame, and it'll be very hard not to think about them. You might even meet a twin flame even if you’re already in a relationship with someone else.
• You don’t feel this kind of intensity for someone else : It’s believed that you can only experience limerent feelings for one person at a time.
• Upon meeting, you fulfill a sense of longing : Twin flames spend the better part of their lives searching for each other. Upon meeting, you’ll likely find that a void in your life has been filled, and you’ll feel whole.

Where Did the Concept of Twin Flames Come From?

Although love is explored in numerous texts, movies, poems, and love songs, our general understanding of it and why it happens remains elusive and mysterious. But, Greek philosophy accounts for a lot of beliefs on love.

Twin Flames in Greek Mythology

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato sought to determine the meaning of love and did so in his seminal work—"Symposium."

The "Symposium" is a dialogue consisting of varying speeches that explore the meaning of love. Each speech is an ode to the Greek god of love— Eros .

One of the speeches in the dialogue, given by Greek comedic playwright Aristophanes , introduces the concept of twin flames.

Aristophanes' Speech

In his speech, Aristophanes says that humans used to be round and had four arms, four legs, two pairs of genitals, and two faces on one head. He said that one day, however, the gods believed these humans had far too much power and cut them in half, creating the human form we know today.

Thus, humans spent the remainder of their lives desperately searching for their other half—their twin.

If we use the concept of limerence to explain twin flame bonds, the Limerence Theory suggests that there are distinct stages of a limerent union:

• Initial meeting : A relationship begins when you meet someone you are attracted to .
• Feelings of uncertainty creep in : After this person catches your eye, you wonder if they might reciprocate your feelings.
• Obsession : This uncertainty may lead you to ruminate about this person.
• Passionate feelings increase : Whether the person reciprocates your feelings or not, passion will be high at this stage.
• A decline in feelings : Limerence Theory suggests that once a person’s love is reciprocated or denied, the uncertainty (which fueled the romantic feelings ) dissipates. Thus, the feelings begin to lessen in intensity or decline altogether.

While these intense relationships often run out of steam, Tennov’s research does indicate that the passionate stage can last for a lifetime.

Are Twin Flames Different Than Soulmates?

Yes! Since limerence can be a possible explanation for twin-flame relationships, we can use Tennov's observations and compare them to various soulmate definitions.

Kailani Raye , certified hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner who's worked as a life and mindset coach for two years and founded The Four-Letter Project says, "When I think about soulmates—they're the person we're supposed to do life with. In the spiritual realm, I feel like people are tied to us. We have multiple soulmates. However, we don't always end up with twin flames."

Raye says that twin-flame relationships are often meant to teach us something about ourselves. "They [our twin flames] are mirrors being held up to us. That mirror will allow you to grow, develop yourself, and pull out traumas and triggers."

According to Raye, our twin flames relationships will lead us closer to our soulmates.

A twin flame is your other half, and a soulmate is defined as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.” Another definition of a soulmate is “someone who you have a special relationship with because you share the same feelings, attitudes, and beliefs."

Based on the definition of a soulmate, it’s implied that your soulmate is someone you’re compatible with —this can be a romantic partner or platonic friend.

Based on intense romantic passion

Typically romantic/sexual in nature, may be platonic

Usually short-term but can be lifelong

Both partners are opposites

Based on compatibility

Can be romantic/sexual or platonic

Can be any length of time

Both partners share similar qualities

So, you might share similarities in character and personality with a soulmate. On the other hand, your twin flame is more than likely your opposite.

Can Twin Flames Break Up? 

Sadly, yes. Not all twin-flame relationships will stand the test of time. Dr. Francis says that "twin flames, like anything [any other relationship], have the potential to not be the greatest [union] because it paints an unrealistic expectation of such an instant connection."

Additionally, based on Tennov’s observations, twin-flame relationships are likely to result in a breakup. Tennov found that limerent relationships last an average of two years. Lifetime limerent bonds, according to Tennov’s observations, are rare.

Remember, though, that any relationship (twin flames or not) that's strained by unhealthy patterns, incompatibility, distance, or even bad timing can lead to a breakup.

Reconciliation in general, is always possible, and it really just depends on the people involved and whether or not they've made changes and can create a healthier relationship the second (or even third) time around.

Anything that is for you will never pass you by.

Raye says, "People, in general, have the ability to change. Sometimes, you need to experience people, and, at the moment, they serve as a twin flame where you'll experience all of your triggers and lead to many breakthroughs."

She notes that following this period, you and your twin flame may need space from one another because patterns are hard to break when you're still in the relationship. Raye also believes that "Anything that is for you will never pass you by."

Raye notes that she has also witnessed reconciliation before. She says that some people found their way back to each other after having space and time to grow. After the healing period, she believes that "twin flames have the ability to step into a 'soulmate-ship.'"

There isn't any conclusive evidence that says twin-flame relationships are inherently toxic. But Raye notes that the toxicity of a relationship really depends on the people involved in the relationship and their levels of emotional intelligence during their time together.

Obsessing About Love

If you find that you're thinking about your twin flame a lot, it could become an issue. For instance, it is possible, to become addicted to love.

Love addiction (also known as pathological love) describes an obsessive form of love . A person with love addiction might become so interested in another person that they neglect other aspects of their life.

When a Belief In Twin Flames Becomes Unhealthy

Raye cautions people not to place too much of their relationships on the concept of twin flames. She states, "If we're relying so heavily on this one thing [the concept of twin flames]" this belief can become unhealthy as we'll begin to "disconnect from our own intuitive power."

Raye suggests we still need to "be in control of our judgment, our thoughts, [and] actions."

When to Seek Help

If you find that thoughts of your love interest are taking over your life, it's recommended that you reach out to a mental health professional .

Also, if you're experiencing any form of abuse in your relationship or feel unsafe, seek help immediately.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database .

What If My Partner Isn't My Twin Flame? 

It’s totally OK if you don’t know or are unsure your partner is your twin flame. Because most evidence suggesting the existence of twin flames has been gathered from personal anecdotes, it is difficult to know that twin-flame relationships are 100% real.

Dr. Francis says that it's important to consider the commitment level in any relationship. "Most relationships can work if you are committed to the work."

It's worth mentioning that how you view your partner can also impact your relationship quality.

For example, one study noted that people who believed their partner was their ideal mate reported greater relationship satisfaction than those who did not believe they were in a relationship with their soulmate.

Given this, how you view your partner may have more weight than how you've decided to label your relationship.

Lastenia Francis, PhD, LMFT

If we drop this notion that someone is 'the one,' we make space for meeting our partner where they are at and doing the work necessary to build a thriving partnership.

The Concept of Twin Flames Is Subjective

Remember that the idea of twin flames (and soulmates) is highly subjective, and people develop romantic feelings for various reasons.

So, before you start side-eyeing your partner and taking relationship compatibility quizzes online, understand that the goal of any relationship is to create a bond in which you feel safe, secure, and respected. With that said, if you're happy in your relationship—embrace that!

If you're still worried about whether your special someone is a twin flame, other factors are said to play a role in what makes people fall in love (hint: none of them are twin flame- or soulmate-related).

Research shows that biological and personal preferences influence your attraction to another person . For instance, natural body odor , sex drive , and qualities such as kindness, intelligence, body shape, and commitment level are important factors.

Keep in mind that love feels and means something different to everyone. What one person views as a soulmate relationship, another might view as a twin-flame relationship. Additionally, some people may not believe in either of these concepts.

Frequently Asked Questions

There doesn’t appear to be any definitive way to find a twin flame. Most evidence is anecdotal. Basically, if you feel as though you’ve met a twin flame, it’s quite possible that you have. You’re free to define your love in any way that feels most accurate to you and your partner.

Based on Tennov’s Limerence Theory, you can have more than one twin flame in your lifetime. However, because of the intensity of the connection, it’s unlikely you’ll meet two at once.

No. Any relationship can come to an end. Aside from feelings of intensity and passion, several other factors determine the success of a relationship (e.g., shared values, goals, friendship, and good communication). So, rather than figuring out if your partner is your twin flame, it’s best to assess how happy you are in your relationship and if you genuinely see them as someone you want to spend your life with. If you’re experiencing any roadblocks or rough patches, a couple’s therapist can help you navigate any challenges you may be experiencing in your relationship.

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By Ayana Underwood Ayana is the Associate Editor at Verywell Mind, where she aims to publish mental health content that is both engaging and of high quality.

Equipping People for Spiritual Growth

What is the Christian Journey?

The christian journey to a meaningful christian life.

It is often said that the Christian life is a journey, not a destination.

The journey to a meaningful Christian life involves a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, learning and growing in faith, and actively living out one’s beliefs.

The Christian journey is often a term used to describe the spiritual growth and development as we follow Jesus Christ and seek to live according to his teachings.

The Christian Journey is . . .

• a journey of faith in God.
• a process of coming to know ourselves honestly and our Creator intimately.
• a journey of cultivating awareness, sensitivity, and response to God’s loving initiatives in our lives.
• a pilgrimage of deepening our relationship with God and His love for us that brings us into maturity.
• a process of receiving healing for emotional pain and harmful ways of thinking.
• a dynamic process of growing toward wholeness emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• a process of being conformed to the image of Christ.
• a spiritual journey where we continually confront twists, turns, and stages.
• The process is a quest for intimate relationship with God Himself.

This process has been known through the ages by a variety of names including spiritual growth, discipleship, spiritual formation/transformation, and sanctification.

Here are some steps of the Christian journey process:

• Accept Jesus as Lord and Savior . This is the foundation of a meaningful Christian life, as it involves making a commitment to follow Jesus and allowing Him to guide your life.
• Study the Bible . Reading and studying the Bible will deepen your understanding of God’s character, teachings, and plans for your life.
• Pray regularly . Talking to God in prayer helps to build a strong relationship with Him and allows Him to guide and direct your life.
• Serve others. Living a meaningful Christian life involves serving others and showing love and compassion to those around you.
• Christian community . Being part of a Christian community can provide support, encouragement, and opportunities to serve others.
• Seek accountability and mentorship . Building relationships with mature Christians can offer guidance and support and can be incredibly helpful in growing.
• Continuously grow and develop . A meaningful Christian life involves a lifetime of learning and growing in faith. So be open to new experiences, growth opportunities, and challenges that will help you to deepen your relationship with God.

The Christian journey also includes challenges and obstacles, but through prayer and reliance on God, individuals can overcome them and continue to grow in their faith.

It often involves changes in one’s lifestyle, values, and behavior, as well as a growing love for others and a desire to serve and make a positive impact in the world.

The ultimate goal of the Christian journey is to deepen one’s relationship with God. It involves becoming more like Jesus, so that we can live a life that brings glory to God and helps others.

The Christian journey is a lifelong process of growing in relationship with God and others. Each person’s journey is unique, yet similar.

What If I Get Stuck On The Christian Journey

However, getting “stuck” on the Christian journey is a common experience for many people.

There are various reasons why this might happen, such as feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges, facing temptations or sin, experiencing a crisis of faith, or simply feeling uninspired or disconnected from God.

If you find yourself in this situation, there are several steps you can take to get back on track:

• Confess and repent . If you’ve sinned or strayed from God, confessing your mistakes and repenting can help to restore your relationship with Him.
• Pray. Talking to God through prayer can help you to feel connected to Him and receive His guidance and comfort.
• Seek support from other Christians. Join a small group or talk to a trusted friend or mentor. This can provide encouragement and help you to stay accountable.
• Study the Bible. Spending time in God’s word can help to deepen your understanding of Him and renew your mind and spirit.
• Serve others . Volunteering and serving others can help you to shift your focus from yourself to God and His kingdom.

Remember, the Christian journey is a lifelong process, and it’s okay to have ups and downs.

With God’s help and the support of other believers, you can overcome obstacles and continue growing in your faith.

The Christian Journey is a Quest For a Deeper Relationship With God

The Christian journey is ultimately a quest to find a deeper relationship with God.

As we grow in our faith, we seek to deepen our understanding how God speaks . We grow in our love for God and learn to experience His presence in our lives more deeply.

Learn How to Feel The Presence of God & Practice His Presence

This deeper relationship with God also leads to transformation of our character, and we become more like Jesus and adopt His attitudes and behaviors.

This transformation is a lifelong process!

As we grow in relationship with God, we become more attuned to His will and more equipped to fulfill our divine purpose in life.

Throughout he Christian journey we learn to experience the fullness of God’s love. We become more like Him, so that we can bring glory to God and make a positive impact in the world.

The Christian journey is a journey of faith, growth, and spiritual transformation that leads to a deeper, more meaningful, relevant, and intimate relationship with God.

Characteristics of Spiritual Growth on the Christian Journey

• The Christian Journey is a process of learning and growing. It is a process of coming to know ourselves honestly and our Creator intimately.
• It is a process of receiving healing for emotional pain and harmful ways of thinking.
• We learn to hear God’s voice more clearly.
• We learn to recognize and practice the presence of God.
• It is a dynamic process of growing toward wholeness emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
• Through this growth process, we grow into who God created us to be in His original design.
• The process helps us to get to know ourselves honestly and Creator intimately.

[1] Exod 3:1; Isa 2:3; Ezek 28:13-14,16 ;  Ezek 28:13-14.

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The journey toward Easter: The meaning of Lent and the mystery of divine love

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With the new year well underway and Easter approaching, Christians tighten their belts and deliberate over what they will give up for Lent.

Lent or Great Lent (or Great Fast) is a forty-day penitential season in the annual liturgical calendar of major Christian denominations. It is a preparation for Easter, which celebrates Christianity’s central belief — namely, the resurrection of Jesus from the dead.

Lent takes place during the northern hemisphere Spring and involves practices of penance, such as fasting, prayer and almsgiving. A forty-day Lenten fast became common practice among Christian communities by the fourth century CE, when church councils legislated for its universal observance.

Lent as spiritual renewal

The word “Lent” comes from the Anglo-Saxon lencten , which means “springtime”. Like Spring, Lent is a time of renewal and growth — spiritual, relational, personal — in the lead-up to the “new life” of Easter.

Lent is meant to dispose Christians to commemorate the central events or mysteries of Christianity during the “Sacred Triduum” (“sacred three days”), also known as the Paschal or Easter Triduum. The Triduum consists of Maundy (or Holy) Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Sunday. During these days, Jesus’s last supper with his disciple, his trial, torturous “passion”, and self-sacrificial death are remembered, and then culminate in the celebration of his life-affirming resurrection.

During these three days, the most important annual liturgies are celebrated for the Catholic, Orthodox, Anglican, Lutheran and other Christian churches. In the Catholic Church, the rituals can be regarded as one single liturgy stretching over three days. Each church commemorates the events in different ways, though with some major similarities (such as readings of Jesus’s suffering and death from the Gospels).

The liturgies of the Sacred Triduum are a celebration and an encounter, not a historical re-enactment. They are solemn, because they involve the most important mysteries of existence: life and death, sin and evil, suffering and injustice, love and forgiveness, God and humanity. Liturgy is about ritualising an encounter with “mystery” — that is, with the deepest elements of life that cannot be easily verbalised, but can only be experienced. Liturgy expresses the ultimate meaning in our lives rather than just the facticity of things.

In other words, liturgies involve the deepest meaning and realities of life — most importantly, the mystery of existence itself and of our relationship with the source of existence (the reason why “there is anything rather than nothing”). According to Jews and Christians, the source of being, God, has reached from outside of space and time into our finite reality to relate to us and love us. For Christians, this relationship goes so far as God becoming one of us and dying and rising for our sake. None of this is for God’s benefit — for God is perfect and complete in his own life — but is done out of gratuitous love.

But Lenten observance, like all liturgy, is not just about the past. It bears upon our lives in the present. The discipline of Lent is willingly accepted only because, as the late Pope Benedict XVI wrote , in that first Easter “love has here broken through death and thus transformed fundamentally the situation of all of us.” Hence Easter is now celebrated as an ongoing “fact” of contemporary life because love is revealed as the deepest reality at the heart of all creation.

During Lent, then, Christians undertake spiritual disciplines so as to experience the joy of Easter more fully in relationship with God and others. Each Christian’s initiation through baptism recalls this joy in which the Christian is “immersed” in Jesus’s death and resurrection — in the dying of the “old life” (that is, of unhealthy attachments and hurtful ways) and the rising of new life in self-emptying and self-giving love. Thus, through the spiritual disciplines that cultivate material detachment and personal conversion, Lent calls the Christian back to that fundamental encounter with the mystery of God in baptism. In this way, their most basic commitment, vocation, and life-orientation to God, through Jesus, is renewed.

This is why Lent is the culmination of the catechumenate in many churches. The catechumenate is the official process of formation and preparation of those who wish to be baptised into the Christian church (the catechumens). In the Catholic Church, this usually takes one year, and the baptisms traditionally take place at Easter, when the newly baptised sacramentally “rise” with Christ into new life.

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A time to open ourselves to the mystery of love

The Latin name for Lent is quadragesima , which means “fortieth” and refers to the “forty days” of its duration. An exact count of forty days was not always a concern for early Christians, because the focus was primarily on the spiritual preparation for Easter. Nevertheless, consistent practices and rules developed across Eastern Christianity (based around Constantinople) and Western Christianity (based around Rome).

The forty days have been calculated and observed somewhat differently in the East and the West. Sundays in Western Christianity came to be excluded from the Lenten discipline of penance and fasting. Meanwhile, the Eastern churches adhered to a continuous forty-day fast, though often with certain allowances made for Saturdays and Sundays (such as the use of wine and olive oil). Since Sundays are a celebration of Jesus’s resurrection, the Western church regarded penitential practices as inappropriate. Even still, the Sunday liturgies during Lent in the Catholic Church have a more muted sense — so, for instance, there is no use of “Alleluia” and the ancient hymn “the Gloria”.

Because when the forty days of Lent begins and when Easter occurs have been calculated differently in the East and the West, subtle variations have developed in the Orthodox churches and the Catholic Church respectively. For the Catholic Church, Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and extends for just over six weeks, with the forty days of penance excluding Sundays. While the Holy Triduum is not officially regarded as part of Lent, the Lenten discipline continues until Easter Sunday.

For the Orthodox churches, Lent starts on Clean Monday and involves forty consecutive days of fasting, with different levels of fasting depending on capacity and devotion. Fasting continues into Holy Week (the week starting with Palm Sunday and extending to Easter). Thus Lent and Holy Week together extend to seven weeks.

Why forty days? It recalls Jesus’s forty-day sojourn in the desert at the beginning of his public ministry (as recorded in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke), during which time he fasted and was spiritually tested in a similar way to the great Israelite prophets, Moses and Elijah. It also recalls the forty days of rain during the Great Flood when the world was renewed following great violence. Finally, it recalls the forty years of Israel’s wandering in the desert when its identity was formed and where it put God to the test.

Fasting as spiritual detachment

Fasting was one of the original practices of Lent and remains central to its observance. While it has more recently come into vogue for health reasons, fasting is a long-standing religious tool for spiritual renewal. As an ascetical practice important to Judaism and practiced by Jesus, Christians continued its use.

Fasting has been practiced in different ways throughout at least 1700 years of Lenten tradition. It originally involved complete abstinence from food, including meat, fish, eggs, and dairy (which is still practiced by some Eastern Christians). In contemporary Catholic practice, fasting is prescribed on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. During these days, only one major meal is taken (following historical practice) and no meat is eaten. On the other days of Lent, some form of penance is undertaken, such as abstinence from some food (such as red meat) or other habits, activities and possessions, and prayer, charitable works and almsgiving are increased. In the Eastern churches, a stricter fast can be undertaken during weekdays during Lent.

Fasting, for Christians, is not primarily an act to purify oneself before engaging in ritual. Rather, it is a spiritual discipline that seeks to tame bodily desire, in order to focus on spiritual and personal growth. Rather than being controlled by one’s desires, one can purify one’s heart and one’s relationship with God, thereby renewing one’s baptismal vocation and commitment.

In this way, fasting exemplifies the Christian aim of ongoing conversion or metanoia (which is sometimes translated “repentance”). Metanoia involves a radical change of mind and heart, a turning away from self-centredness and towards loving relationship with God and others. Fasting, then, challenges the Christian, in a measured way, to forget oneself in order to live for God and others — especially the poor.

Fasting recalls the tradition of “spiritual warfare” which acknowledged the challenge of breaking free from prideful, self-centred egoism and acquisitiveness. It also reminds Christians of their finitude and mortality as creatures, while emphasising that they are not just animals but spiritual creatures capable of transcendent, loving relationships and meaning.

For Christians, fasting — like almsgiving and prayer — is a physical symbol of spiritual detachment, in which one empties oneself as Jesus did when he became human and then died on the Cross in self-giving love. Christians are called to “empty-out” ( kenosis ) themselves like Jesus, so to be filled with God’s love (in prayer) and be available for service to others (almsgiving).

Fasting, moreover, aims to cultivate interior freedom from sin and evil in all their forms, especially egotistical self-centredness, pride, acquisitiveness, and domination. It seeks to test one’s deepest hunger and perceive what one truly desires. In this way, fasting, as a spiritual practice, recalls the existential yearnings that all humans have for a full and flourishing life. These yearnings guide what we do and who we are.

Lent, particularly through fasting, reminds Christians of these fundamental yearnings and asks whether they are being addressed in healthy or unhealthy ways. In this way, Lent involves a process of decluttering in a spirit of minimalism that combines with prayer and good works, so as to be more open and receptive to God’s love.

The journey to Easter

By focusing on existential hunger and spiritual receptiveness, Lent ultimately points to the fullness of life found in Jesus at Easter (or Pascha in Greek and Latin, which means “Passover”).

All of Lent’s penitential practices and acts of spiritual renewal find their meaning in the journey of self-emptying and self-giving love that Jesus undertakes in his death and resurrection: “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love” (John 15:9).

In this way, Christians discover that they can make the Paschal journey with Jesus, just as they have made the Lenten journey, because they — along with all humanity — are loved and “loved lavishly”, as Draško Dizdar writes, “gratuitously; yes, even recklessly, exultantly; indeed, absolutely and unconditionally, by the One [God] who knows us better than we know ourselves, and yet desires nothing other than that we should all flourish in the radiant light of his love.”

This journey of love is first made by Christians sacramentally in baptism, and then is spiritually renewed at Lent. With Jesus as companion and guide, Christians are moved to “passover” from the “world” of selfishness, evil, and pain into the gratuitous and unconditional love of God experienced at Easter.

Joel Hodge is Senior Lecturer in Systematic Theology at Australian Catholic University, and the author of Violence in the Name of God: The Militant Jihadist Response to Modernity .

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The Requiem Mass for Cardinal Pell and the Catholic reverence for the body

Why Christianity should embrace eschatological thinking

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The Science of Siblings

At the heart of this cozy coffee shop lies a big sister's love for her little brother.

Yuki Noguchi

Sibling Coffee Roasters owner Libby Powell poses with her brother, Benjamin Withem, outside her West Virginia coffee shop. In her hand is an early photo of the pair — one they are trying to re-create. Susana Raab/for NPR hide caption

Sibling Coffee Roasters owner Libby Powell poses with her brother, Benjamin Withem, outside her West Virginia coffee shop. In her hand is an early photo of the pair — one they are trying to re-create.

The Science of Siblings is a new series exploring the ways our siblings can influence us, from our money and our mental health all the way down to our very molecules. We'll be sharing these stories over the next several weeks.

There's a coffee shop in the historic center of Charles Town, W.Va., where Libby Powell's family memorabilia hang from the exposed brick walls.

On one shelf, there's a photo of Libby posing with her towheaded baby brother. A jar of oatmeal-and-butterscotch cookies called Salty Siblings perches by the cash register. An elegant copper roaster parked in the shop's front bay window churns out the store's custom blends, including a popular one with Ethiopian beans named after that baby brother: The Benjamin.

Powell named this place Sibling Coffee Roasters — and it stands as a testament to one of her most cherished relationships.

Powell was already 14 and in high school when her brother, Benjamin Withem, was born 34 years ago. By that time she'd already thought a lot about the significance of having a sibling in her life. She knew, through intuition and experience, what the scientific research now shows: That this connection can deeply affect our mental and physical health over the course of our lives , for good or for ill.

Libby Powell was 14 years old and a high school student when her brother, Benjamin, was born. Susan Raab for NPR hide caption

"We have a human need to bond," she says. "Your friends are going to come and go. But when it's family, if your sibling is your friend, they're going to be there forever."

About 80% of children in the United States grow up with a sibling. It's a relationship that usually comes with shared experiences of family and childhood — and maybe also shared bedrooms and rivalries. Research about siblings' influence on our development and psychology is a relatively new field . But scientific studies show those relationships shape us in myriad ways, seen and unseen. And the impact of those relationships — good or bad — endures well beyond childhood, into middle age and beyond.

In adolescence, siblings are very influential when it comes to risk-taking behaviors that can include things like sex or substance abuse . Even in middle age, being on good terms with our siblings continues to strongly correlate with our mental and physical well-being, especially during life transitions like a divorce or caring for ailing parents. Late in life, siblings can help support one another to maintain their health and companionship, and recounting shared memories can be a powerful antidote to loneliness .

"Siblings matter. They matter above and beyond our parents. They matter above and beyond our peers," says Shawn Whiteman, who studies human development at Utah State University.

A sibling worth waiting for

On this bustling Saturday morning, Powell picks up a bag of The Benjamin off the shelves by the cash register and reads its label: "Sibling's brotherly love blend." It is mild, in keeping with her brother's personality, with a blueberry-like flavor. "I definitely wanted that to encompass what his taste for coffee is," she says.

Powell says she once experimented with a dark roast she called "The Sibling Rivalry," but it didn't fit any part of her ethos.

"I hated it," she says. "And I don't like to fight with my brother, so I decided — we're not going to carry a dark roast."

As a girl, Powell — a Baptist preacher's daughter — yearned to have a brother or sister, and her parents, Mike and Naysa Withem, tried to have more children.

Sibling Coffee Roasters features a variety of house-made baked goods including a "Salty Sibling" cookie. Susana Raab for NPR hide caption

When Libby Powell was about 2, they started taking in foster children. Those experiences were inevitably marked by disappointment, because for one reason or another they could not stay, says Naysa Withem.

The last foster child, an older boy named James, stayed for seven years, and Powell grew up thinking of him as her actual big brother, complete with all the skirmishes and antics that come with traditional siblings.

"I remember the arguments, and getting into trouble with him, and doing things with him that were sneaky," Powell says.

But when he was 16, her foster brother chose to leave the family, a decision that left a 10-year-old Powell devastated: "I was alone. It was like all eyes were back on me, and I didn't know what that felt like because I don't think I remember being an only child." His absence, and the sense of isolation, fed her desire for siblings.

Her parents, meanwhile, were trying to have another child. "I remember my mom had gotten pregnant and I was so excited," Powell recalls. "I remember that feeling and thinking, 'I'm gonna be a big sister.'"

It was not to be: Powell was with her mother when she miscarried. "That was traumatic," says Naysa Withem.

Powell and her mother, Naysa Withem, load a display case with baked goods. Pierre Kattar/NPR hide caption

So when Baby Benjamin arrived two years later, his sister was waiting with open arms.

"I just remember just thinking: 'This is the prettiest baby I've ever seen in my life,'" she says, her voice rising with emotion. Her brother shuffles from around the counter in the shop's back kitchen and pulls her in for a tight hug.

Awash with gratitude that he was born alive and healthy, Powell says she doted on her brother like a doll, lathering him with lotions and changing his diapers and clothes.

Around the time Benjamin Withem was potty trained, Powell headed to college. Even though the time they overlapped in the same house was limited, her brother says he had developed a close connection with her that endured: "It's nice to always be reminded that you have these shared experiences that are constantly pulling you back together."

Sibling Coffee Roasters is a family affair; brother Benjamin Withem will stop by to indulge in a cold brew and chat with mother Naysa Withem, father Michael Withem, and sister and owner Libby Powell. Here, they pose in front of a quilt Naysa made for the shop. Susana Raab for NPR hide caption

An evolving relationship

The study of sibling relationships and their influence on how we think or act hasn't been as studied as other family relationships — like those between mothers and children, for example. Researching siblings also isn't easy, because no two families are alike. Variations like gender, age gap, or the number of siblings can really matter, making comparisons between families difficult and conclusions harder to draw.

One classic example where that can get complicated is birth order — something popularly believed to have a great deal of influence on our personalities. While some earlier studies suggested it might have some impact, most research doesn't bear out the idea that birth order has any lasting significance on who we become, says Utah State's Whiteman.

Still, siblings are overall very influential because they're usually our first peers. We might idolize them or battle them, but either way, through them we learn how to relate to others.

"Peers, if you have too many conflicts with them, they are just not going to be your friend anymore, but siblings really can't get away from it," says Nicole Campione-Barr, a psychologist who researches family dynamics at the University of Missouri. "So it's really one of our only training grounds socially to understand how to handle conflict in effective ways."

Powell says hello to her brother, Benjamin Withem, at her coffee shop. Susana Raab for NPR hide caption

Powell says hello to her brother, Benjamin Withem, at her coffee shop.

Libby Powell, for example, recalls how her brother used her as a sounding board — especially in his teen years, and especially after he'd made a mistake.

"If he was going to be in trouble or if he made a bad decision, he came to me first — and he was feeling out what my reaction would be," she says.

"I think he was testing the waters," she says, before having to tell their parents.

Naysa Withem, who's been watching her two children reminisce as she cleans the shop's kitchen, chimes in with a correction: "He was hoping you would cushion that with mom and dad," she says with a laugh.

The dynamics between siblings often change in young adulthood, as they explore independent paths. That was true also for Ben Withem who, after college, took a cybersecurity job in the Middle East — a world away from his sister in Charles Town.

Have a story about your sibling? Share it with us!

"That was definitely the most distance we've experienced," he says. And being that far was "almost like hitting the reset button" on their relationship, he says.

Powell found that "reset" difficult and says she felt angry. "I felt those same feelings when James left — when my foster brother left," she explains. At the same time, her brother had recently married, which meant Powell had to adjust to make room for another important person in his life. "That was hard for me because I'm sharing my little brother, who I thought that I had a little control over."

Libby Powell says that she and her brother were always close and have hardly ever fought. Susana Raab for NPR hide caption

It was the only time they remember any tension existing between them. They had one fight, which culminated with Powell accepting her brother as an adult peer.

"He was taking a stand as an adult for the first time ... and I was put exactly where I needed to be put," Powell recalls, nodding approvingly toward her brother. Benjamin Withem, the more introverted sibling, agrees silently, deferring to her memory.

Through their adult lives, coffee played a big role in keeping them connected. Withem loved good coffee, and Powell says she relied on bad coffee for decades to get her through working overnight shifts as a nurse. He tried roasting beans in his popcorn popper; she eventually began following her younger brother's lead and upgraded to their current, kitchen-table-size industrial roaster.

Powell discovered she loved the taste of her own freshly roasted beans, as well as the coffee culture and social life that surrounded it.

Powell roasts her own coffee beans at her shop in West Virginia. Pierre Kattar/NPR hide caption

"I just found that coffee — the way that he would describe it — it wasn't just a drink, but it was a relationship," she says.

When she opened Sibling Coffee Roasters five years ago, Powell saw it as a kind of extension of that relationship, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood. She says the shop connects her to the community she's lived in her whole life, and it gives her an excuse to talk to people about their lives and their troubles.

"I always wanted to feel cared for, and I always have felt that way," she says, "and I know that there's just way too many people out there that don't."

Powell says the coffee shop is a kind of extension of her relationship with her brother, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood. Susana Raab for NPR hide caption

Powell says the coffee shop is a kind of extension of her relationship with her brother, a chance to share the warmth and support she associates with siblinghood.

Sibling Coffee Roasters also reflects the dream that Benjamin Withem will eventually open up another shop as they grow old together.

It's a sentiment he shares, he says. "I see the name she picked as the open invitation."

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What the April 2024 Solar Eclipse Could Mean for You Astrologically

By Emily Newhouse

Have you made your total solar eclipse party plans yet? While several eclipses happen every year, and astrologers always clock them, the one happening on April 8 is kind of a big deal because it’s actually going to be visible to a lot of people reading this. (Hopefully you already have your eclipse glasses ; I am not a scientist or a doctor but I know the one way you can’t watch an eclipse is by looking directly at it, even with sunglasses. Safety first! ) The magnitude of being able to watch a total solar eclipse live perfectly encapsulates the importance of eclipses in astrology: They are times of intensity, excitement, and (sometimes) chaos, when great, swift change and growth are possible, pushing us further on our soul’s journey.

• When is the April 2024 solar eclipse and can I see it?

How can solar eclipses affect you, astrologically speaking?

This eclipse is in aries. what does that mean, how do we know the significance of this particular eclipse, which saros series is this and what does that mean, how do you know if this solar eclipse will be significant for you, when is the april 2024 aries solar eclipse and can you see it.

We’ll experience a total solar eclipse on Monday, April 8, 2024 at 2:18 p.m. ET at 19 degrees and 22 seconds of Aries . A solar eclipse happens when the moon and sun line up and, from our perspective, the moon blocks out the sun. However, a total solar eclipse, as NASA tells us “is only possible when the Moon is closer to Earth than average.” If you happen to live in the umbra or path of totality, you'll experience a total solar eclipse; all of us in the penumbra will get a partial one. For instance, here at Allure’s headquarters in NYC, we’ll have 90% visibility (meaning there will still be a tiny sliver of sun peeking out from behind the moon) but the path of totality will go through 15 U.S. states as well as some of Mexico and Canada. You can see precise maps of where the eclipse will be visible here .

While the eclipse physically happens on one day for only a few minutes, New York-based astrologer and National Council for Geocosmic Research board member John Marchesella looks for events two weeks before the first eclipse, the two weeks in between eclipses, and the two weeks post-eclipse giving a total of six weeks in eclipse season . You may recognize this pattern from when a planet transits an important part in your chart. If your Saturn return is coming up, for example, you will start to feel it as soon as Saturn enters the sign your return is in as well as while it is approaching.

Like lunar eclipses , solar eclipses align with the moon’s nodes, invisible points in the solar system where the sun’s ecliptic and the moon’s orbital path intersect. We might expect lunar eclipses to be more ruled by the moon, having to do with emotions, feelings and our inner world and solar eclipses to be more about shining in the world with events that are more outwardly obvious. But this is not always the case: What might be an inner experience for one person (like the deep reflection they do leading to a decision to end a relationship) will turn out to be a complete, front-facing shock to the person on the receiving end of that growth.

We do know that, since this eclipse is on the north node, it’s about transitioning into something new. But don’t expect a huge change all at once on the eighth: Marchesella tells us that that point in the sky where the eclipse occurred remains active for as long as six months or even a year after. Even if you don’t notice anything when the eclipse happens, when the sun comes to to square (a 90 degree angle) three months later, it will once again trigger the eclipse energy, creating what Marchesella calls an “eclipse aftershock. ”

The eclipse is happening in Aries — a sign of independence, invention, and initiation — which means the event is likely to be about finding our individuality. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, marking the beginning of the astrological year and the spring equinox. Aries is so important that astrologers can read a chart for when the sun goes into Aries (this year that was March 19 at 11:07 p.m.) and it can be used to predict what the whole year will be about for the collective from that location. In the metaphor where each sign is a human baby learning about the world, Aries is “I am.” While they can be known for being very concerned with themselves and their world, they are also people whose dynamic, charismatic, powerful energy we need. One would expect the eclipse to be about embodying the lesson of individuating oneself.

Each eclipse is part of a series of eclipses that the Babylonians charted in the 600-700s B.C.E called the Saros series . Looking at a list of eclipses in a given year , they will seem random but the Babylonians found eclipses do follow a pattern, albeit one that can only be seen over thousands of years. A series starts when a small partial eclipse happens at one pole of the earth. Every 18 years, another eclipse happens diagonally in longitude from the previous one. Six hundred and fifty years later, there is a total eclipse at the equator, half way through its cycle. And 2300 years later, the cycle ends at the opposite pole. About 42 cycles are all happening simultaneously over a given period. This phenomenon is well accepted and documented by not only astrologers but also astronomers .

In order to understand the impact of an individual eclipse, it's important to consider the entire series in which it exists. If this seems abstract to you, imagine that we are watching the TV show Saros . The first episode aired May 17, 1501 and the finale will be June 23, 2745. If you started watching a show in the middle — say, starting with the Red Wedding episode of Game of Thrones — wouldn’t you be rather confused? And since multiple series are happening simultaneously, trying to relate the ones you've personally witnessed to each other would be like trying to draw conclusions from watching the fifth episode of Friends, the 26th episode of Breaking Bad , and Seinfeld finale. None of us will ever get to live through even half of a complete cycle, but we can look at records from the past to help give the eclipse we're currently experiencing some context.

If we look at the chart of the first eclipse in the series — the script of that first episode, if you'll allow me to continue the metaphor — we can understand a little bit of what we’re supposed to be watching. You have a birth chart and so does an eclipse, the chart of the first in its series. As preeminent astrologer and eclipse expert Bernadette Brady says in her book Predictive Astrology: The Eagle and the Lark :

“Inventiveness and flashes of insight are the hallmark of this Saros series. The individual will have intuitive leaps, insights, good ideas, visions, or vivid dreams. This new-found inspiration will pull the person away from his or her social life or relationship, thereby causing strain in the private life. This is a time when the person needs to be free, if only for a few weeks.”

All this means that the April 2024 eclipse season could be a big period for eureka moments, both in our personal lives and for society at large. In the next six months we could start to see some really great technological or scientific discoveries. It's even more likely some individuals during this eclipse will bring much needed solutions to the world’s ills when they're old enough to do so.

No individual eclipse interacts directly with everyone in the world's chart. Do some moments in your life stand out as turning points (a move, a departure of someone in your life, a breakup, a birth, a marriage, a job change, a realization that changed your life forever)? Those were probably times when an eclipse was active in your chart. The only way to know for certain if an eclipse touches your chart is to look at your own chart and see if this eclipse is making any aspects to yours in important ways.

By Loren Savini

By Jennifer Hussein

By Marci Robin

So while we can’t tell all our readers how likely it is that this eclipse will affect you, we can tell a small portion of you that for you, yes , this eclipse is meaningful. If you're an Aries born between April 7 and April 12, this is likely a big moment for you as the solar eclipse is happening on the sun in your chart and is likely to coincide with some major event (that you may even already know about). Likewise if you’re a Libra born between October 11 and 15, this could be an important time for you, especially regarding relationships.

You can always look at the past Aries eclipses that were at similar degrees: April 1921, April 1986, and April 2005. Do any of these correlate to important events in your life? If so, the 2024 one might be too. This one will likely be a big one for me. The one in April 1986 happened two months before I was born — my pre-natal eclipse — and the one in April 2005 coincided with my second semester of my first year of college when I had a lot going on. I'm hoping this one will also bring a gift from the universe. You can also look for significant moments during the most recent eclipses in this Saros series (February 1934, February 1952, March 1970, March 1988, and March 2006).

Regardless of whether or not this total solar eclipse will bring big moments in your life, the fact that the event will be visible in parts of the United States is certainly exciting. At the very least, it could be an exciting opportunity to see a celestial event we rarely get to see in our own backyard. So be careful, be patient, and if you are traveling somewhere, build in lots of extra time — after all, Mercury is still retrograde until April 24.

More astrology:

The Personality of an Aries, Explained

Learn More About Your Zodiac Sign

Read Your April Horoscope

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Can the eclipse impact your astrological sign? An astrologer weighs in

By Kristine Johnson

Updated on: April 5, 2024 / 6:14 PM EDT / CBS New York

NEW YORK —  We're just a few days away from the April 8 solar eclipse , and everyone will be looking skyward to watch this amazing cosmic phenomenon,  with the proper glasses  of course. 

Astrologers who look to the stars say that if you feel a little different during an eclipse, there's a reason. People are impacted by this alignment of the sun, the moon and the earth, according to astrologer Rebecca Gordon.

Gordon acknowledged to WCBS that, for some, astrology is all smoke and mirrors, but she encourages keeping an open mind. She says not all signs will be affected equally during the eclipse.

"Aries will definitely be impacted. Also, their opposite sign of Libra will be. And the signs of Cancer and Capricorn, as well, will certainly be impacted," she said. "Let's just say that every member of the zodiac will be impacted. Nobody gets out of an eclipse without impact." 

Gordon believes the planets always assert an influence over events and our behavior, and eclipses only magnify what is happening. 

"You look at patterns and cycles," Gordon said. "Big things happening on eclipses. That you simply cannot argue with." 

Gordon points to what she calls patterns of significant historical events that have occurred at key astrological times. And she says the impacts of the moon's path are significant in astrology.

"When the moon is full, the tides are high. All crustaceans are born on full moons. Did you know jellyfish are often born on full moons? So essentially, the waters of the ocean swell. What is your body made up of?" Gordon asked. 

"You are sort of in the eye of the needle of eclipse season. That is when there might be a bit of chaos and confusion. So in your life, there might be - why did that job let me go, that relationship just began, that relationship ended? There can be a whole lot of change... You want to not plan too much, leave space open, because you will need that space to react thoughtfully." 

CBS News New York will have complete coverage of the eclipse on April 8, from 2 to 4 p.m. 

Kristine Johnson currently co-anchors the 5 p.m. & 11 p.m. news at the CBS owned and operated station in New York City. She joined CBS 2 in the fall of 2006. Since then, she has been the recipient of several Emmy awards.

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Maressa Brown is a Los Angeles-based journalist and astrologer who has written astrology, pop culture and general lifestyle content for nearly two decades. Brown is a member of the International Society for Astrological Research and is the author of Mercury Magic: How to Thrive During Retrogrades and Tap Into the Power of the Messenger Planet All Year Long and Raising Baby by the Stars: A New Parent’s Guide to Astrology .

A total solar eclipse is coming today. As an astrologer, I’ve been fielding questions about how this phenomenon — during which the moon will block the sun — might shake up people’s horoscopes . Astrologically speaking, eclipses deliver stunning shifts that accelerate the pace of life and catapult you farther down the road to your future. And with this particular solar eclipse falling in Aries, the dynamic, action-oriented cardinal fire sign, you could be especially inspired to launch a thrilling, enterprising new adventure. Here’s what everyone can expect from the total solar eclipse, and which zodiac signs will be most affected by the game-changing event.

When is the total solar eclipse?

The precise time at which you’ll actually be able to get a view of the total solar eclipse will depend on where you are in its path .

In astrology, the solar eclipse coincides with a new moon , which occurs when the sun and the moon meet up at the same exact degrees of one of the 12 zodiac signs . And this time, the two celestial bodies meet at 19 degrees Aries at 2:21 p.m. ET. But because this is a particularly intense astrological event, you’ll likely feel its effects for much longer — about one week before and after. And if it is hitting your astrological birth chart closely (more on that in a moment), its effects are part of a larger story you’ll be experiencing for months to come.

What does a solar eclipse mean in astrology?

In general, new moons occur every month — rarely, twice a month — and are wonderful opportunities to plant seeds you want to see flourish over the next two weeks (when the moon’s cycle culminates with the full moon) and the next six months (when we get the full moon that corresponds to any new moon). But when a new moon happens in tandem with a solar eclipse, the emotional intensity of the moment is amplified, and everything feels a little more dramatic.

It also bears noting that eclipse energy is so intense that it is preferable to meet it with more of a hands-off, albeit informed and aware, approach than you would a typical new moon. In the days around a regular new moon, you might journal, meditate or talk through an aspiration or strategy with someone you trust in order to manifest your aim. But, as one of the most intense astrological events that occurs every year, you can think of an eclipse as an extraordinarily wild thunderstorm bringing shake-ups, realizations and gasp-worthy change. In other words, unlike a basic new moon, eclipses do the work for you. The best thing you can do is ride the wave and try to remain open to whatever lesson you’re being nudged to learn.

What does the solar eclipse in Aries mean?

Today, the solar eclipse and new moon falls in Aries, the cardinal fire sign and first sign of the zodiac, known for being enterprising, energetic, direct, competitive and dynamic. You can anticipate highly action-oriented, dynamic, fierce and driven energy around this eclipse. The stunning change that it delivers could be related to motivation, independence and courage.

You could experience a heightened desire to begin something new, make a bold move to come out on top or take the reins on a passion project in an unapologetically fiery new way. Because Aries is associated with the first house of self, you could be reflecting on ways in which you can more courageously assert yourself, whether that’s on the job, in a relationship or in another area of your life. You might also have the urge to be more direct, straightforward and self-assured as a result of speedy Aries’s lack of interest in beating around the bush.

That said, because Mercury, the planet that rules communication, will be in retrograde — and therefore, not functioning at full capacity — from April 1 to 25, there may be some confusion or crossed wires in the days around the eclipse. It might take until Mercury moves forward to know exactly how to proceed. 

There’s also a tendency to consider the past as you move through this eclipse. What steps do you want to avoid retracing, and what are some takeaways from past experiences that you can apply to what you’re dealing with now?

Which zodiac signs will be most affected?

While eclipse season affects everyone in some way, you’ll feel the solar eclipse the most if it’s closely connecting with your natal, or birth, chart. This is the case if you were born when the sun, moon or other planets were in Aries — specifically, within 5 degrees of 19 degrees Aries — when you were born. (You can determine if this is the case by casting your chart on my website or by using an app like TimePassages .) Those with Aries placements will experience this eclipse by itching to rethink their persona or how they’re presenting themselves out in the world.

People with Aries placements aren’t the only ones who will feel this eclipse the most. Fellow cardinal signs Cancer, Libra and Capricorn are also more apt to experience shake-ups and shifts. (Again, you’ll feel it even more if you have planets around 19 degrees of these signs.)

Cancer placements can expect the eclipse to affect their professional life. Libras can expect change related to partnerships, whether platonic, professional or romantic. And Capricorns might find they’re moving in a new direction when it comes to their home life and relationships with loved ones.

But, ultimately, whether the solar eclipse is directly hitting your chart or not, the eclipse is an opportunity to tap into your inner fire and drive, and own whatever makes you authentically yourself. Know that emotions could be running high and staggering change is likely inevitable now, but whatever happens is part of a larger story that will continue over the next 12 months.

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What the solar eclipse in Aries on April 8 means for your zodiac sign

An eclipse is coming to North America — but you probably knew that already.

Live updates: Following along for our total solar eclipse live blog

The 2024 total solar eclipse, dubbed the Great American Eclipse, will be visible across much of the United States. But it will be felt , astrologically, across the world.

Total solar eclipses occur when the moon fully blocks the sun's light. During the minutes this occurs, called totality, the sky darkens and the temperature drops. Eclipse comes from the Greek word that means “abandonment” because the sun briefly abandons us.

How can I see the total solar eclipse on April 8?

According to NASA , the eclipse will cross from Mexico into the United States, ultimately arriving in Canada.

A partial eclipse will be visible in 48 contiguous states. A total eclipse, in which the moon fully blocks the sun, will be visible in about 15, barring weather.

In the U.S., the eclipse path starts at Texas and goes through Oklahoma, Arkansas, Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine. Areas of Tennessee and Michigan will also experience the total solar eclipse, per NASA.

The eclipse will also be live streamed and available to watch for free on sites like Space.com, Time and Date and NASA .

What are the astrological effects of the total solar eclipse on April 8?

This solar eclipse offers the chance to heal from the past. Think of a solar eclipse as a very potent new moon. In astrology, new moons represent new beginnings — but only if you do the energetic work to move on without ties to the past.

The upcoming solar eclipse falls in the sign of Aries. It occurs on the lunar nodes of destiny — the astrological name for the elliptical path the moon travels — which are currently in Aries and Libra. The lunar eclipse March 25 was in Libra .

Astrologically, Mercury in retrograde and the constellation Chiron, known as the cosmos’ healer, will connect with the eclipse degree, bringing closure to the past. It will be a time of goodbyes and hellos. Embrace this magical journey..

How the solar eclipse will affect your sign

Eclipses are thought to affect all signs. Here's how it may impact yours.

The eclipse is going to be eye-opening, giving a new window to the past. You’ll be able to see the role you played in certain situations, which may push you to make amends with others.

By confronting your fears and delving into your subconscious, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself. You will come to realize that many of your fears are created in your mind, and are not based in reality.

You’re undergoing a personal metamorphosis, bringing in relationships with those who share your values and goals. There might be some changeups in your social circle as you gravitate toward these new relationships.

You might think you have everything figured out. But actually, you’re sitting on so much untapped potential. Pitch something new to the people in your life or your work, and show them there are still surprises left in you.

If you’re itching for an adventure and eager to break free from your mundane routines and responsibilities, try embarking on a low-key trip to an unfamiliar place. The key to having an enjoyable and authentic experience is not the destination itself, but the company you keep.

Virgo, try your hardest to avoid overanalyzing. Take time to think about what you really want before committing to a choice at the moment. Keeping your options open can help you navigate the situation with more ease and confidence, without second-guessing your decisions.

Instead of immediately dropping whatever is bothering you, think about how you can change the situation. What are you contributing to a dynamic? How can you alter your behavior to benefit the world around you? Do some reflecting.

If you are facing persistent issues with your co-workers, it might be time to consider a new approach to communicating with them. Consider bringing in a third party to mediate the situation. This can help to resolve the issue with minimal drama, allowing for a peaceful conversation.

Sagittarius 

To fully enrich your eclipse encounter, consider channeling your creativity into an artistic endeavor. Whether it’s capturing the eclipse through photography or painting, or expressing your emotions through writing, share your unique perspective of the world with the world.

Lately you prefer spending time at home to running around town. Nesting and connecting with your dwelling can be a rewarding experience. In fact, you might even consider hosting a dinner party with a few friends to enjoy good times in the privacy of your own home.

You've been pouring the best of you into other people. While it’s admirable to be so giving, remember to take care of yourself as well. Take a break, rather than constantly running around trying to please everyone else.

Shift your focus from lack to what you do have. Try to cultivate a sense of peace with the present. Ironically, feeling good about where you are right here, right now, could attract a brighter life.

Lisa Stardust is a New York City-based astrologer. Stardust is the resident astrologer for Oprah Magazine, Teen Vogue and The Hoodwitch. She has two upcoming books: “Saturn Return Survival Guide: Navigating this cosmic rite of passage” is due out this May from Hardie Grant Books and “The Cosmic Deck” from Chronicle Books is due out in November. Follow Lisa on Instagram for her daily horoscopes @lisastardustastro.

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Twenty years ago, the United Nations bigwigs largely ignored climatologist Jack Hall's warnings about environmental concerns — until his research proved true after an enormous superstorm developed, setting off natural disasters around the world.

Among them an earthquake, followed by a solar eclipse and then Manhattan wiped out by a flood.

Ok, so that's the plot of an early 2000 sci-fi disaster movie, but this month we're on track with Friday's earthquake and Monday's solar eclipse.  Let's hope the flood is just the stuff of Hollywood's “The Day After Tomorrow,” that warned in 2004 of the dangers of climate change.

But the coincidence of a 4.8-magnitude earthquake and the April 8 (4/8) solar eclipse has some people wondering if a big screen blockbuster has foreshadowed the future much like episodes of “The Simpsons” TV show. 

“4.8 earthquake in North Jersey. Are you awake yet?  4.8  When is the eclipse? 4/8,” Omar Retamar Serrano posted on his Facebook page Friday, shortly after the earthquake struck from its epicenter in Lebanon, New Jersey, just across the Delaware River in Hunterdon County.

His post  generated at least 75 comments and 84 shares as of Friday afternoon for Serrano, who describes himself as a longevity advocate and founder of C.H.O.S.E.N Tribe (Community of Hybrid Online Social Economic Networkers) and Master Builders Alliance, from Newark New Jersey.

Rare earthquake hits Northeast U.S. 4.8 earthquake before the 4/8 solar eclipse. Is there a connection and what could it mean?

“Earthquake today… Eclipse on monday, We are ready for Jesus’ return ,” posted a preacher with LiquidChurch.com, which describes itself as a “bible-based and Christ-centered” church.

“It shook the UN building I think God is trying to tell the white house to leave Isreal (sic) alone and to stop threatening them. I hope those clowns are paying attention. God isnt playing. Also its been since 1884 major earthquake hit NJ.. And a 2.0 aftershock in BEDMINSTER NJ,” wrote another commenter.

Bedminster being the home of former President Trump's golf club.

Others online expressed doubts about the source of the ground shaking.

“No there wasn't any earthquake, it was road work being done, I don't believe anything the news says anymore,” one commenter wrote.

As for any connection between the two rare natural phenomena, there is none, according to science. In March 1982 all nine planets in our solar system nearly aligned with the sun relative to earth and nothing happened.

Bucks reacts to quake: Bucks County rattled at rumbling and rocking from East Coast earthquake: 'What was that?'

“The short answer is, ‘No,’ solar eclipses and the behavior of celestial bodies do not cause earthquakes,” said Alexandra Hatem, an earthquake geologist at the U.S. Geological Survey. 

Earthquakes on the East Coast are uncommon, and tend to be infrequent and smaller than on the West Coast, Hatem added.

For anyone concerned about the 4 and 8 connection, relax.  

In numerology, the two numbers are considered compatible, at least as far as relationships go, according to the Enneagram Institute, which researches a model of human psyche that centers around nine interconnected personality types. 

“Both types bring passion, intensity, energy, and deep (often unconscious) feelings to all aspects of the relationship. They are attracted to each other's storminess, the other's vulnerability, and the other's “hidden” qualities: neither is what they seem to be on the surface.”