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Caribbean Cruises

Plan your best caribbean cruise vacation, favorite caribbean cruise line.

Travel Awaits Best of Travel 2022 (Top 10)

The sun-kissed shores of the Caribbean are calling. Relax on gorgeous white sand beaches surrounded by crystal clear waters, discover the ancient treasures of the Mayans, or let your cares melt away while relaxing to steel drum melodies. Find the best Caribbean cruises sailing from Ft. Lauderdale, Port Canaveral, Galveston or New York to suit your vacation desires.

Find Caribbean Cruises

Eastern caribbean cruises, top-rated beaches and water play.

The laid-back Eastern Caribbean is home to many of the region’s most popular islands — gems like St. Thomas, St. Maarten and Grand Turk. Known for world-famous beaches, stingrays and limitless water activities, this is the perfect option for a sunny Caribbean cruise vacation, reconnecting with loved ones.

Western Caribbean Cruises

Historic spots and natural wonders.

Mayan ruins, exciting eco adventures and the friendly spirit of Jamaica await in the Western Caribbean. Enjoy the lush wildernesses of southern Mexico, unspoiled coral reefs of Belize and Roatan, underground caves on the Island of Cozumel and so much more.

Southern Caribbean Cruises

Local culture and colonial past.

Cruise options for the Southern Caribbean take you from the lush paradise of Dominica to the remote isles of Aruba, Curaçao and Bonaire. Immerse yourself in traditional Caribbean culture and life on islands that blend their colonial influence with native charms.

Bahamas Cruises

Exclusive Island experience

The Bahamas, a series of islands with sparkling waters and pristine beaches, is a top Caribbean cruise destination. Princess Cays, our Private Island resort, calls the Bahamas its home, and our guests get exclusive access to this tropical oasis on almost all Caribbean itineraries. Get away to the Bahamas for just a few days or during a week-long Caribbean cruise and you’re sure to relax and recharge.

Caribbean Getaways

Sun, sand and a short escape

White sand beaches and coral reefs await on Caribbean Getaway cruises. Soak up some vitamin D on Princess Cays, Princess' Private Island resort, and enjoy watersports or an encounter with stingrays in brilliant turquoise waters. Or explore the colorful buildings and exciting historical sites of Grand Turk. Do it all in just a few days on a short Caribbean cruise.

Featured Ports on Cruises to the Caribbean

One of the best parts of a Caribbean cruise is the freedom to spend your days however you like. Ashore that can mean relaxing on popular beaches, diving into the local culture or exploring the islands’ many natural wonders.

8 Top Cruise Line Private Islands

US News & World Reports

Long to dive into turquoise waters? The Eastern Caribbean's world famous beaches await. Prefer to explore historic Mayan ruins? The Western Caribbean's ancient wonders are calling. For those craving adventure in a natural wonderland, the Southern Caribbean is brimming with possibilities. Each voyage illuminates the heart of Caribbean life, so come see what makes these islands legendary.

Beaches & Sunshine

Lazy days beneath swaying palms

Let the soft sands and warm winds melt all your worries away. The beaches of the Caribbean are legendary for their natural beauty and tranquil turquoise waters. Relax with a tropical cocktail in your hand, swim with stingrays and sea turtles, or just take in the calming ocean air.

Culture & History

A diverse heritage

The culture and history of the Caribbean is rich, varied and deep. Walk the docks that once harbored the greatest fleet in the world at Nelson's Dockyard, taste and hear the deep West African influences in everyday Caribbean life, and experience the uniqueness of each island.

Exploration

Mother nature's playground

The Caribbean has been a land of adventure for hundreds of years, and there's excitement for every traveler, now more than ever. Zipline above the lush jungle, snorkel through a coral reef teeming with life, take an off-road vehicle deep into the rainforest or sail a catamaran out to explore a shipwreck. Adventure lives around every corner.

Island shore excursions

Experience the authentic Caribbean with award-winning shore excursions. In a region so full of new experiences, unique culinary delights and deep history, why trust anyone but the experts? Go swimming with stingrays in Grand Cayman, travel through dense jungles to hidden Mayan ruins on Cozumel, snorkel the world’s second largest barrier reef in Belize or sail on a thrilling catamaran in Antigua.

Late night departures

The Caribbean has a different feeling at night. Revel in its warm evenings and enticing music with our More Ashore program. Later stays on select itineraries in Aruba, Curacao, Grand Turk, San Juan, St. Maarten and St. Thomas let you soak up the full Caribbean experience, like a fresh-caught seafood dinner on the beach or street fair full of local crafts and flavors. With More Ashore, you get more time to enjoy the vibrant island nightlife.

Why Cruise the Caribbean with Princess

Year-round sailings. Family-friendly fun. A private beach party. And our newest ships. The question isn’t “why choose Princess?” but “why not?”

We sail the caribbean year-round

Each season has a personality all its own. Summer is a time for family fun in the sun. Fall invites the adventurous to immerse themselves in the islands. Winter is marked by festivals and other celebrations. Spring is the perfect time for renewal and relaxation. Cruise the Caribbean throughout the year, and you’ll encounter a different side of the Caribbean each time, unified by the distinctive experiences Princess offers.

See why families love the islands

Social media stars the Holderness Family recently set sail on a Caribbean cruise. Check out the music video to see why a Caribbean vacation with Princess Cruises is more than just a trip!

Want more? See the kids’ vlog of their experiences in Camp Discovery and adventures ashore, and watch the parents tackle cruise myths in their vacation recap.

Princess Cays®, private island resort

Relax on your very own beach playground, where 40 acres of white sands, bungalows, local crafts and a complimentary barbeque await. Snorkel in sparkling turquoise waters. Find serenity fishing from the rocky coastline. Feed stingrays or paddle through the lagoon in a clear-bottom kayak. And you can post your experiences with ease, thanks to Princess’ MedallionNet™, the best Wi-Fi at sea — now on land!

Our newest ships enjoy the islands

There’s no better way to cruise the Caribbean than on one of the bold, new additions to our fleet. We take travel to the next level: the exceptional features of Sky Suites and the unrivaled service, the glass-enclosed dome and balconies taking in the Caribbean sun and sights of beautiful islands and crystal clear waters. Cruise to the Caribbean in luxury with Princess.

Caribbean Cruise Onboard Experience & Featured Program

With award-winning onboard programs, regional cuisine from world-class chefs and celebrations of Caribbean life, Princess makes your ship a destination all its own.

Comfortable accommodations

Your stateroom is your home away from home on your voyage where you rest up and recharge between adventures. With the expertly designed Princess Luxury Bed, luxurious 100% Jacquard-woven cotton linens and specially created SLEEP program by a board-certified sleep expert, you might just get the best sleep of your life. We offer staterooms ranging from interior cabins to full suites, and we even offer connected rooms for families with more than four members traveling together.

Bringing local life aboard

Embrace the spirit of the islands the moment you step on your ship with our Rhythm of the Caribbean program. Savor island cuisine, sip signature cocktails and engage in authentic regional experiences. Dance beneath the stars to vibrant island rhythms at exclusive parties, and immerse yourself in one-of-a-kind cultural activities — from concerts and crafts to talks from shark experts and treasure hunters.

Never miss a beat

Say goodbye to the daily grind with our new Sail Away Party poolside on the top deck, dance to local music at one of the many Caribbean inspired concerts, or be the envy of every pirate at our high-energy gold treasure-inspired Terrace Pool Gold Party. Throughout your cruise to the Caribbean there will be events that excite, enrich and challenge you to fully experience the islands.

Deeper experiences of the islands

Discover the history of local distilleries while sampling some of the region’s best rums, meet the parrots and macaws that call the Caribbean home in the ship's Piazza, or become a part of the rhythm with steel pan drum lessons. Our onboard activities give you the chance to gain a deeper connection and understanding of the gorgeous islands you'll visit on your voyage.

Discovery at Sea

Sharks, pirates and stars — oh my!

Discovery at SEA brings the expertise and excitement of the Discovery Channel™ on board your Caribbean cruise! Enjoy Shark Week all summer long with shark-themed activities, hear tales of sunken treasure and lost shipwrecks from the stars of Travel Channel’s™ Caribbean Pirate Treasure, and explore the constellations and spectacular galaxies of the night sky with the Voyage to the Stars indoor planetarium experience.

Ship Activities for Every Cruise to the Caribbean

Recharging your batteries.

Pamper yourself in the Lotus Spa® with a massage, facial or manicure, and feel renewed. Enjoy The Sanctuary, a lounge just for adults, where you can relax with a light meal, specialty drink and al fresco massages while digging into that novel you've been looking forward to reading. If you prefer your relaxation more active, we offer Zumba, yoga and tai chi classes to burn off stress and raise your heart rate.

Celebrations

The perfect place to celebrate

Almost 30% of all passengers who sail with us are celebrating an important milestone in their lives. Say "I do" at sea in a ceremony officiated by the captain. Arrange for an anniversary package and let us spoil you with romantic balcony dining, chocolates and more. For us, every day is a celebration.

Love blooms on the Love Boat

It's difficult to imagine something more romantic than sailing through the warm waters of the Caribbean, hopping between tropical islands and white-sand beaches from the comfortable luxury of your ship. While on board we cater to your romantic side with private dining on your balcony, whether a relaxing breakfast for two or a romantic sunset dinner, honeymoon packages for lucky newlyweds, flowers and chocolates delivered to your room and couples-only massages in the Sanctuary.

Food & Drinks

The flavors of the islands

The diverse cultural influences, local climates and history of the Caribbean combine to make one of the most exciting and unique regional cuisines in the world. From mofongo, a dish from Puerto Rico made from mashed fried plantains, pork and garlic, to the famous jerk chicken of Jamaica, we serve the Caribbean's favorite flavors to you on board. Thanks to Princess' world-class chefs you'll enjoy fresh, locally inspired dishes for your entire voyage.

Movies Under the Stars®

Outdoor cinema at its best

Enjoy many of the latest movies, exciting concerts and most anticipated live sports games on a massive poolside screen. The warm Caribbean night air, fresh popcorn and comfortable lounge chair with fleece blanket make for a viewing experience like no other. Not to mention the best theater in the world, the Caribbean ocean with a ceiling of stars!

Sailing with your crew

Enjoy a ship full of activities for the whole family, from Broadway-style shows to Discovery’s Shark Week all summer long, your family will be engaged in the Caribbean. Go Stargazing under the stunning expanse of the night sky with Discovery at SEA, compete in a family game night, and savor the flavors of the islands together.

Caribbean Cruise Articles and Videos

Read about colorful cultures, breathtaking landscapes, must-see attractions and preparation advice for cruising the Caribbean.

2024-2025 Caribbean Cruises

There’s no better way to truly experience the laid-back Caribbean than with Princess.

Caribbean Cruise Weather by Month

From radiant sunshine to turquoise waters, enjoy the best Caribbean cruise weather all year round when you sail to these tropical lands with Princess.

Top Five Caribbean Cruise Destinations

Whether you’re a history-lover, adventure-seeker or laid-back traveler, discover the best Caribbean cruise destinations for any guest with Princess.

Best Caribbean Cruises

Visit the best Caribbean cruise destinations with Princess and relax on white-sand beaches or embark on adventure that will leave a lasting impression.

Top Things to Do in Grand Cayman

From relaxing on the shores of Seven Mile Beach to feeding majestic sea creatures at Stingray City, discover the top things to do in Grand Cayman with Princess.

Best Time for a Caribbean Cruise

Discover the best time for a Caribbean cruise. From the offseason to the sunniest months to festival season, anytime is the best time to travel to the Caribbean.

Travel, Airfare, & Hotels: Let Princess Get You There

Princess EZair® Flights

Stress-free airfare

Remove the hassle from air travel and give yourself the gift of flexibility, time and a thicker wallet with Princess EZair flights. We negotiate lower rates with the airlines, allow you to modify your flight up to 45 days prior with no penalty and protect you if your flight is late or canceled.

EZair flight quotes are available on our cruise search result details pages.

Airplane to Ship Transfer

We get you where you need to go

Let Princess pick you up from the airport and take you directly to your ship or hotel when you arrive, even if you didn't book your airfare through us. A uniformed Princess representative meets you at the airport after you've retrieved your luggage and transports you directly to your ship or hotel without you having to worry about the logistics of navigating a new city.

Cruise Plus Hotel Packages

Stay longer and relax

Extend your cruise vacation, and simplify your travel plans with a hotel stay at the beginning or end of your cruise. With a Cruise Plus Hotel Package, a Princess representative meets you at the airport and pier, transporting you to and from your hotel. The package includes the cost of your hotel stay, transportation, luggage handling and the services of the representative.

Need help planning?

Princess Cruise Vacation Planners are a dedicated resource to help you every step of the way through the planning process of your cruise vacation. And the best part is, they are absolutely FREE!

Cruise deals & promotions

Find our top sales, deals, partnerships and promotions for our destinations all in one place. We run promotions throughout the year and sometimes run sweepstakes where you could win prizes!

#PrincessCruises Caribbean Connections

See the Caribbean through our guests' eyes.

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Top-Rated Beaches and Water Play

Local Culture and Colonial Past

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The best Caribbean cruise for every type of traveler

Editor's Note

There is no shortage of choices for a cruise to the Caribbean — the most popular place in the world for cruising. More than 200 cruise ships spend at least part of every year in the region. Cruise-selling websites list thousands of individual Caribbean sailings.

This can be great news for would-be Caribbean cruisers, but it also can be overwhelming. With so many options, where do you even begin? Which one of these ships and sailings is the best?

I get the latter question a lot — and I always answer the same noncommittal way: It depends. The best ship and sailing in the Caribbean for whom? The best for me? The best for you? The best for your kids?

For more cruise news, reviews and tips, sign up for TPG's new cruise newsletter .

When picking the best cruise in the Caribbean, as with choosing the best cruise anywhere, a lot comes down to tastes and preferences. Some people love the big-resort feel of the biggest-of-big ships . Others are horrified by the very idea of them. Some people demand (and are willing to pay for) the highest levels of luxury . Others are on tight budgets. The best cruise for a family with kids isn't necessarily the same as the best cruise for a couple looking for romance.

What kind of cruiser are you? It's important to think that through before narrowing down your choices.

The bottom line is that the best Caribbean cruise for you depends a lot on your travel style. Below, we'll help you narrow down the choices by looking at Caribbean cruises by broad category type. The good news is that in the Caribbean, at least, there really is something for everyone.

Best Caribbean cruise for megaresort fans: Royal Caribbean

If your idea of a great vacation is a week at a big, bustling resort filled with every sort of amusement known to humans, you'll probably want to start your Caribbean cruise search with a look at the biggest vessels from lines like Royal Caribbean.

If "more is better" is your mantra, skip the search and look up Icon of the Seas . At 250,800 gross tons, the new, 20-deck-high vessel is the biggest cruise ship in the world. No ship in the Caribbean is quite like it.

Some of Icon of the Seas' wow factors include an incomparably massive water park with six waterslides, a cantilevered infinity pool, a huge glass dome encompassing an indoor AquaTheater for acrobatic and diving shows, and innovative new cabin and suite layouts for families.

Royal Caribbean offers seven-night Eastern and Western Caribbean sailings departing from Miami aboard Icon of the Seas through April 2026.

Eastern Caribbean itineraries vary but include stops at St. Maarten; St. Thomas; Nassau, Bahamas; Basseterre, St. Kitts and Nevis; San Juan, Puerto Rico; and the line's private island Perfect Day at CocoCay, in the Bahamas. At the time of publication, prices for the seven-night Eastern Caribbean cruise started from $1,731 per person.

Western Caribbean ports of call include Puerto Costa Maya and Cozumel; Roatan, Honduras; Nassau; and Perfect Day at CocoCay. Prices start from $1,651 per person.

With at least two sea days per sailing, passengers will have ample opportunity to explore all the attractions the ship has to offer.

Related: Why you shouldn't 'freak out' about Royal Caribbean's giant new Icon of the Seas

Best Caribbean cruise for families: Disney Cruise Line

In the family cruise arena , it's hard to top Disney Cruise Line. As you might expect, the line caters heavily to families in every aspect of the cruise experience — from onboard attractions to family-friendly cabin configurations.

Disney's attention to detail transfers to its voyages on the sea. Kids receive the royal treatment with high-quality kids clubs and onboard attractions like the 765-foot-long AquaDuck water coaster. Plus, they have plenty of opportunities for photo ops with their favorite Disney characters.

Parents will find opportunities to unwind at adults-only sun decks and pool areas that are closed to kids; there are also bars and clubs that are off-limits to anyone younger than 18.

Additionally, many cabins on Disney's ships feature extra pull-down bunks and pull-out sofas that will allow four or even five people to stay in a single cabin. Most cabins have two bathrooms — one with a sink and a toilet, and one with a sink and a shower or tub. This is rare in the cruise world, and it's designed to make it easier for families sharing a room to get ready.

For family fun on the high seas, try a seven-night Western Caribbean cruise aboard Disney Fantasy. Departing from Port Canaveral, the ship stops in Cozumel, Mexico; George Town, Grand Cayman; Falmouth, Jamaica; and Castaway Cay, Disney's private island.

Also, depending on the time of year you sail, you can enjoy special onboard activities and events for Halloween or Christmas. Some itineraries also include a "Pixar Day at Sea," which features a day of playing, dancing, swimming and dining with your favorite Pixar characters. Prices start from $2,959, double occupancy, and include taxes, fees and port expenses.

Related: The ultimate guide to Disney ships and itineraries

Best budget Caribbean cruise: Carnival Cruise Line

The undisputed leader in the Caribbean cruise market when it comes to affordability is Carnival Cruise Line . Not only does Carnival offer lower fares than you'll find at most rival lines, but it also purposely deploys its Caribbean-focused vessels to a wider variety of U.S. "home ports." The idea is that a large percentage of the U.S. population can reach a Caribbean-bound Carnival ship by car, saving the cost of flights.

Related: The ultimate guide to Carnival ships and itineraries

Carnival ships are packed with fun-focused attractions, including multiple pool areas, water parks with waterslides, basketball courts, miniature golf courses and even roller coasters on select ships .

The cruise line is known for its multitude of included-in-the-fare dining spots. Every vessel has two main dining rooms and a casual buffet eatery. Most ships feature two of the best quick-serve poolside dining venues you'll find on mass-market ships at sea: BlueIguana Cantina for burritos and tacos as well as Guy's Burger Joint.

Carnival ships sail to the Caribbean from all the major Florida cruise hubs but also from ports as far-flung as New York City; Baltimore; Charleston, South Carolina; Norfolk, Virginia; Mobile, Alabama; New Orleans; and Galveston, Texas.

The line's 10-day Eastern Caribbean sailing from New York City on Carnival Venezia is a solid choice for budget-minded travelers seeking an affordable Caribbean escape. Passengers can swim with graceful stingrays in Gibbs Cay or tour historic Cockburn Town during a port call in Grand Turk, Turks and Caicos. In Amber Cove, Dominican Republic, you can take an exciting ATV tour through the lush backcountry.

Year-round sailings in 2024 offer ample itineraries to fit your schedule and budget. Rates start from $529 per person, based on double occupancy. Price does not include taxes, fees and port expenses.

Related: 6 ways to get a deal on a cruise

Best Caribbean cruise for solo travelers: Norwegian Cruise Line

When it comes to catering to solo cruisers, the king of the hill in the Caribbean is Norwegian Cruise Line — at least among the big-ship lines. The Miami-based cruise operator in 2010 began adding entire zones for solo travelers to the center of every new ship it deployed to the region.

You'll now find these zones on Caribbean-focused vessels like Norwegian Encore, Norwegian Breakaway, Norwegian Getaway, Norwegian Epic and Norwegian Prima. Each of these solo cruiser zones, which are unrepeated in the industry for now, includes dozens of cabins for solo travelers, all clustered around each other. There is also a private lounge with a bar and television where solos can mingle at daily hosted happy hour gatherings.

Known as Studio cabins, the tiny solo rooms in these complexes measure just 100 square feet. But they're superbly designed to maximize storage space. I sailed solo in one of the cabins on Norwegian Epic, and I was smitten. I particularly loved its futuristic "Jetsons"-like design and the multicolored mood lighting.

Related: These cabins are great for travelers cruising alone

One big caveat with Norwegian's solo cabins: They're all "inside" rooms without an ocean view. That said, most have a window that looks out onto a corridor. Another downside is that these solo cabins are so popular they often sell out far in advance at prices not much better than booking a cabin for two.

Single cruisers seeking some extensive rest and relaxation should consider the "10-day Bermuda & Caribbean: Puerto Rico & Dominican Republic" cruise out of New York City on Norwegian Getaway.

The 3,963-passenger ship is chock-full of restaurants, bars, nightlife spots and fantastic entertainment, including Broadway shows. With Norwegian's laid-back dining plan, solo travelers aren't locked into set dining times and table mates, so they can invite newly made friends to dinner at a time convenient to everyone.

Bermuda is the first stop on this six-port sailing. From there, the ship visits St. Maarten, St. Thomas, San Juan, and Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic.

Rates for a Studio cabin start from $1,499, excluding taxes, fees and port expenses.

Related: The best credit cards for booking cruises

Best Caribbean cruise for luxury lovers: Windstar Cruises

For those who wouldn't be caught dead on a vessel that doesn't have butler service and free-flowing caviar, the Caribbean can be a tough spot. Many of the world's most luxurious cruise ships spend a lot of time in Europe and Asia or gallivanting around the globe on exotic world cruises . For some luxury lines, the Caribbean is almost an afterthought.

Also, you'll usually only see luxury sailings in the Caribbean during the winter months — from December through March. For luxury cruises in the Caribbean, the period between April and October is pretty much a dead zone.

However, if an upscale cruise experience is what you seek, Windstar Cruises can deliver. The line's seven-night Classic Caribbean itinerary aboard Wind Surf should be on your radar.

Windstar Cruises specializes in small ships carrying between 148 and 342 passengers each. The line calls them yachts, but the ships are structured more like tiny cruise ships with indoor lounges and communal dining rooms.

The 342-passenger Wind Surf features six decks, five masts and four types of cabins (all with windows only, no balconies). Accommodations range from 188-square-foot regular cabins to 376-square-foot suites.

Windstar Cruises ships also include a water sports platform. On select days when the ship is anchored (not docked at a pier) — and the weather, government regulations and planets align — passengers can enjoy varied water sports like stand-up paddleboarding, kayaking and swimming right off the back of the ship. You can also lounge on a float or admire the glittering, yacht-dotted harbor from a large foam flotation island.

Wind Surf is also home to multiple dining venues, a pool and hot tubs, a boutique, a spa and a fitness center.

The seven-night Classic Caribbean itinerary begins and ends in St. Maarten. It features sun-kissed beaches, secret coves and gin-clear waters in idyllic ports of call like St. Barts, St. Kitts and Nevis, Guadeloupe, Dominica and St. Lucia.

All-inclusive rates start from $2,622 and include Wi-Fi, gratuities and unlimited beer, wine and cocktails. Cruise-only rates start from $1,999 (and exclude taxes, fees and port expenses).

Related: The 2 classes of Windstar ships, explained

Best adults-only Caribbean cruise: Virgin Voyages

The brainchild of unconventional business mogul Richard Branson, Virgin Voyages appeals to vacationers averse to the traditional cruising experience who crave a hip, party atmosphere. Ships are blissfully void of children — cruisers must be over 18 — making it a prime choice for an adults-only cruise.

Virgin boasts unique onboard offerings like the first tattoo parlor at sea , lots of included dining options, free exercise classes and an app that lets you simply shake your phone to order Champagne (which is delivered to you just about anywhere onboard). Also, fares include all meals, soda, basic Wi-Fi and crew gratuities.

Virgin's first vessel, Scarlet Lady, launched in late 2021. The line added Valiant Lady and Resilient Lady in 2022 and 2023, respectively. The debut of the line's fourth ship in the fleet, Brilliant Lady, has been delayed but could take place in 2024.

Ships are filled with stylish, adult-oriented bars promising a hopping scene late into the night as well as hipster venues like a colorful karaoke lounge. Onboard entertainment is inventive and often edgier than what you might see on traditional-style cruises.

Cabins sport a minimalist look with futuristic touches, and suites exude a rock 'n' roll vibe with in-room turntables and peekaboo showers.

The line's Dominican Haze five-night itinerary to Bimini, Bahamas and Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, sails out of Miami on the 2,700-passenger Scarlet Lady. With two sea days, the sailing offers a good mix of onboard shenanigans and port-of-call exploration. Party by the pool or swim with stingrays during your day at Virgin Voyages' Bimini Beach Club . Chill out on a powder-white beach or go waterfall hunting in the jungle in the Dominican Republic.

Rates start from $913.75 per person, based on double occupancy (excluding taxes and fees).

Related: Virgin Voyages cruise cabins and suites: Everything you want to know

Best Caribbean cruise for couples: Holland America

Holland America offers spacious midsize vessels that carry no more than 2,700 passengers, providing a relaxed and intimate cruising experience ideal for pairs seeking quality time at sea.

Caribbean-craving couples will be sated with the nine-day Southern Caribbean Seafarer cruise sailing out of Fort Lauderdale aboard Rotterdam. The 2,650-passenger ship, which debuted in 2021, is Holland America's newest.

In addition to a main restaurant and casual buffet, Rotterdam features five separate specialty dining venues — everything from a pan-Asian eatery to an upscale steakhouse. Extensive onboard entertainment includes clubs featuring blues and classic rock as well as various musical performances in the main theater. Cultural programming, pickleball lessons, and food and wine tastings are among the complimentary activities available.

Of course, relaxing by the pool and indulging in a restorative spa treatment are also options.

On the Southern Caribbean Seafarer cruise, couples can visit Curacao, Aruba and Half Moon Cay, the line's private island in the Bahamas. An overnight stay in Curacao allows cruisers to dive deeper into the island's history, culture and natural lures. Aruba offers diversions below and above the water, from submarine tours and snorkeling to hikes and four-wheeling adventures. The stop at pristine Half Moon Cay provides an easy and relaxing beach day.

Rates start from $799 per person, based on double occupancy (excluding taxes and fees).

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Caribbean Cruises

Caribbean tijdens een cruise ontdekken.

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Caribbean – zon, zee en strand

Waar anders kunt u zo genieten van een heerlijk klimaat, leuke kleurrijke plaatsjes, prachtige stranden en glashelder water dan op de Caribbean. Soms wordt u ontvangen met de klanken van typisch Caribische muziek en dat brengt u gelijk in het ultieme vakantiegevoel.

Voor het gemak delen we het Caribisch gebied in drie delen in. Caribbean Oost, West en Zuid.

Caribbean West – met Cuba, Cozumel en Jamaica

In het westelijk Caribisch gebied treft u veelal de wat grotere eilanden aan zoals Jamaica, met zijn heerlijk Reggae klanken en het bij Mexico behorende Cozumel.

Caribbean Zuid – met de Nederlandse Antillen

In het zuidelijk Caribisch gebied bezoekt u doorgaans Aruba, Bonaire en Curaçao. Het Nederlandse tintje op deze eilanden zal u zeker niet ontgaan.

Caribbean Oost – met Dominicaanse Republiek, Puerto Rico en St. Lucia

In tegenstelling tot het westelijke deel van het Caribisch gebied bevinden zich in het oostelijke deel meer kleinere eilanden op korte afstand van elkaar.

Caribbean Cruises – routes

De meeste cruises vertrekken vanuit Florida en dan met name vanuit Fort Lauderdale en Miami. Voor een cruise in het oostelijke Caribisch gebied kunt u ook kiezen voor een cruise met vertrek vanuit Puerto Rico met San Juan als vertrekpunt.

Klantbeoordelingen - Caribbean

4883 beoordelingen, details van de totale beoordeling, aantal aanbevelingen, alle opmerkingen, beoordelingen, het complete caribbean cruise aanbod in een overzicht, 1.935 cruises gevonden.

• 1.830 zonder vlucht
• 1.057 Inclusief vlucht
• 1.855 Suite
• 1.695 Balkonhut
• 1.626 Buitenhut
• 1.682 Binnenhut
• 114 Antarctica
• 146 Atlantische Oceaan
• 278 Australië
• 79 - Indische Oceaan
• 283 - Oost-Azië
• 193 - Zuid-Oost Azië
• 99 Azië en Emiraten
• 257 Britse Eilanden
• 206 Canarische Eilanden
• 1.935 Caribbean
• 617 - Oostelijke Caribbean
• 384 - Westelijke Caribbean
• 27 - Zuidelijke Caribbean
• 106 Mexicaanse Riviera
• 2.186 Middellandse Zee
• 935 - Oostelijke Middellandse Zee
• 1.122 - Westelijke Middellandse Zee
• 9 Midden-Amerika
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Westelijke Caribbean Cruise vanaf Miami naar Miami - 88942

8 dagen met de icon of the seas.

Caribbean Cruise vanaf Miami naar Miami - 86277

15 dagen met de msc seascape.

Caribbean Cruise vanaf New York naar New York - 83206

8 dagen met de msc meraviglia.

Westelijke Caribbean Cruise vanaf Miami naar Miami - 86274

8 dagen met de msc seascape, westelijke caribbean cruise vanaf port canaveral naar port canaveral - 80985, 8 dagen met de wonder of the seas.

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15 dagen met de enchanted princess.

Midden-Amerika Cruise vanaf Montego Bay naar Montego Bay - 57944

15 dagen met de mein schiff 1.

Caribbean Cruise vanaf Miami naar Miami - 84832

21 dagen met de nautica.

Caribbean Cruise vanaf Miami naar Miami - 84126

Westelijke caribbean cruise vanaf port canaveral naar port canaveral - 86263, 11 dagen met de msc seashore.

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Enjoy 75% off your second guest’s cruise fare and get bonus savings of up to $150 on the stateroom you want. Plus, additional guests in your stateroom sail free on select sailings.

South America Cruises

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• View South America Cruises

From the remote, icy beauty of Antarctica to the glorious beaches of Uruguay’s cosmopolitan Punta Del Este, a cruise to South America is a revelation. There are so many contrasts to experience; the extraordinary street art of Valparaiso, sizzling steaks and fine wines in Buenos Aires, the serrated, snowy mountains of Patagonia, and the vast, empty sands of the Falkland Islands, populated by thousands of penguins. Let Celebrity show you this magnificent continent in style on one of our ships.

Featured South America Cruises

Embark on the adventure of a lifetime with South American cruises, sailing round-trip from Buenos Aires on a 14-night voyage to the isolated, British-owned Falkland Islands and then south to the icy beauty of Antarctica. Marvel at enchanting penguins, basking seals, pods of humpback whales, and towering mountains draped in snow.

Patagonia & Argentina

From the sultry rhythm of tango that pulsates through the streets of Buenos Aires to the rolling vineyards of Chile, a voyage between the Argentine capital and Valparaiso unlike any other. Spot whales in Puerto Madryn, follow in the wake of the great explorers around windswept Cape Horn, and marvel at the backdrop of jagged peaks and pristine forests as your ship glides through the scattered jigsaw of islands off the tip of wild Patagonia.

Galapagos Islands

Each evening, you'll come home to one of three vessels that are as extraordinary as the islands. The 100-guest, all-suites Celebrity Flora—the first and only ship in the region to receive a Forbes Travel Guide Four-Star Rating. The popular 48-guest Celebrity Xpedition. Or the intimate 16-guest Celebrity Xploration. Everything you want or need will be included—stunning accommodations, inspired food and drink, unlimited Wi-Fi—all delivered with superlative service.

View Popular South America Cruise Destinations

Falkand Islands

Find Your Perfect South America Cruise

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South America Ships

South America Shore Excursions

Let Celebrity show you the very best of this enchanting continent on a cruise to South America, whether you’re fascinated by cosmopolitan cities or Antarctica’s pristine, ice-strewn bays and channels.

After thrilling days ashore, return to our contemporary, design-led ships. Rejuvenate your spirit in The Spa, unwind by the pool, and meet friends for cocktails at the Martini Bar before heading to dinner in any of the superb restaurants on board.

Our menus are designed by a Michelin-starred chef, with a chance to try anything from mouth-watering seafood to classic Italian and gourmet French cuisine. Elevate your experience to the next level at The Retreat®, with access to a private lounge, and dining at the exclusive Luminae at The Retreat.

Experience South America your way with our range of shore excursions, from Destination Highlights to Small Group Discoveries and custom-designed Private Journeys. Trundle into the mountains on a vintage train in Ushuaia. Marvel at the vast penguin colonies in the Falkland Islands. Photograph dazzling street art in Valparaiso, Chile. Discover it all on a South America cruise with Celebrity.

Trace the coastline from Buenos Aires to Valparaiso, Chile over the course of 12 or 13 nights, or take a 14-night voyage to the pristine glaciers and ice-strewn bays of Antarctica.

Featured Articles

Insider’s Guide to Ushuaia, Argentina

The city of Ushuaia is at the tip of South America on the south coast of Isla Grande, the largest island of the Tierra del Fuego archipelago in Patagonia.

7 Best Countries in South America to Visit

South America is a world in one continent. In the space of a single visit, you could be gazing at jagged mountain ranges, arid desert, dense rainforest, rolling wine country, creaking glaciers, steaming volcanoes, and deep fjords.

Where to See Penguins in South America

With their dapper tuxedos and comical waddles, there’s just something about penguins that make them so very endearing to us.

13 Things to Do on a Machu Picchu & Galapagos Cruise

Exploring the sprawling site of Machu Picchu and the fascinating Galapagos Islands are two extraordinary experiences worthy of any traveler’s bucket list.

10 Best Places for Hiking in Chile

Chile is such a long country from north to south that it incorporates an amazing variety of terrains.

South American Food: 20 Best Dishes To Try

South American food encompasses a large variety of cuisines. Food lovers will find a very tempting choice of dishes to try.

Wildlife in Patagonia: 20 Amazing Species

With its high, frozen peaks, barren desserts, and dramatic weather, Patagonia might seem inhospitable to animals. But nature always finds a way, and the wildlife in Patagonia is extraordinary.

10 Best Beaches in Uruguay

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Top South America FAQs

What is the best time of year to cruise around South America?

The seasons are reversed in the Southern Hemisphere, so the warmer months, from November to March or April, are the best time to cruise, which is when our Celebrity Eclipse will be sailing the region in 2024. 

The Galapagos is completely different, as the islands lie across the Equator. The Galapagos is a year-round destination, with far fewer variations in climate, and benefits to sailing in any given month.

How safe is it?

For Celebrity Cruises® and parent company, Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd, the safety of our guests and crew has always been our highest priority. We encourage you to leave valuables on board when you go ashore, and to use the safe provided in your stateroom for your valuables.   

As with any big city with lots of visitors, you should take precautions in places like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires. Don’t carry your cell phone or wallet in your back pocket, and keep your purse and camera close to you. Do not leave your belongings unattended on a beach.

What are the typical ports of call on a South America cruise?

Celebrity offers a wide variety of South American cruises with many exciting ports of call. You could sail between Buenos Aires and Valparaiso with two ports of call in wild and beautiful Patagonia, as well as two in sophisticated Uruguay, and a day in Puerto Madryn, Argentina. Or you could pick a similar itinerary that included the Chilean Fjords, an area of vast glaciers, narrow channels, and jagged peaks.

If you prefer a warmer climate, pick an itinerary that sails between sophisticated Buenos Aires and exotic Rio de Janeiro. You’ll also visit Buzios and São Paulo in Brazil, and Montevideo and Punta del Este in Uruguay. 

To many, the ultimate adventure is a cruise to Antarctica , a world of icy beauty, towering mountains, and extraordinary wildlife. These itineraries include Ushuaia, the most southerly city in the world, and the fascinating Falkland Islands.

Galapagos cruises visit several islands and landing points over the course of a week, with multiple opportunities for wildlife spotting, hiking, snorkeling, and exploring pristine beaches and mangroves.

Are there any vaccination or health requirements?

There are no compulsory vaccinations for South America, but you should make sure your regular inoculations are up to date, as you may be traveling to remote areas. If you are arriving from a country where yellow fever is prevalent, you may need a yellow fever vaccination certificate, so check with your physician in advance.

Celebrity does not sail to areas where there is a high risk of malaria, so you will not need anti-malarial medication.

How do I handle currency exchange for the different countries visited?

Some South America cruises visit as many as four countries, and each will only accept its own currency. You will be able to use credit cards in big cities like Buenos Aires, Montevideo, and Rio de Janeiro, but in more rural areas, you may need cash. 

You will find ATMs on shore, and you can also change money on the ship. Make sure you understand the exchange rate in each port before you go ashore and spend money.

What types of wildlife and natural landmarks can I expect to see?

South America is an enormous continent and you will see extremes of climate, geography, and wildlife. You might see whales around Puerto Madryn and Magellanic penguins in Patagonia. If you visit Antarctica, you’ll see gentoo and chinstrap penguins, leopard seals, and most likely, several kinds of whales. On the Drake Passage, you could spot graceful wandering albatross, the bird with the widest wingspan on the planet. Excursions in the Falkland Islands take you to look for five different species of penguin, while in Ecuador and Chile, you could see magnificent condors soaring on the thermals.

In the Galapagos, you’ll see endemic species including marine and land iguanas, Galapagos penguins, Galapagos sea lions, reef sharks, sea turtles, and many more.

Is a cruise a good way to see South America?

A cruise is an exceptionally good way to see South America. Distances are long and it would be very time-consuming to visit the number of destinations you can see on a cruise if you were traveling by land and air. 

A South America cruise offers wonderful contrasts, too. For example, in the space of 12 nights you could be enjoying a sultry tango show in Buenos Aires, exploring the wilds of Patagonia, sailing around Cape Horn, and admiring the famous street art in Valparaiso. You could see the beautiful Chilean Fjords and the Lake District, or experience the ultimate adventure, a voyage to Antarctica.

How long are South America cruises?

The majority of our South America cruises range from 12 to 14 nights. Galapagos cruises are seven nights, but if you add on a land extension, the whole experience will be 10, 11, or 16 nights.

Where do they depart from?

South America cruises depart from Buenos Aires, Valparaiso, and Los Angeles. Galapagos cruise and land packages start in Quito. Alternatively, you can join your ship in Baltra, in the Galapagos itself.

What should I pack?

A South America cruise could take you through many different climates. If you sail between Buenos Aires and Valparaiso, for example, you should pack for warm summer days and beach weather in the cities, and much cooler, windier weather in Ushuaia and Punta Arenas. If you are headed for Antarctica, you will need layers, fleeces, gloves, a hat, and a good waterproof jacket. If you’re traveling to Brazil, on the other hand, pack breathable fabrics and loose clothing for the tropics.

For the Galapagos, pack clothing in neutral colors that will protect you from the sun, as you could be out walking for hours at a time. You will need a hat, walking shoes, and a lot of space on your camera’s memory card as you will take a lot of photos. Wetsuits and snorkel gear are provided on board the ship.

Throughout the ship, casual resort wear, sundresses, shorts, polos, or button-downs are appropriate, paired with sandals, low heels, and loafers. In main and specialty dining, we ask guests to refrain from wearing swimsuits, see-through cover-ups or robes, bare feet, tank tops, T-shirts, and baseball caps. 

Smart Casual attire is required for entry to main dining, specialty dining, and the Celebrity Theatre. Smart Casual means you look comfortable yet tasteful in a dress, skirt, long pants, or jeans with a stylish top or button-down. Shorts and flip-flops are not considered Smart Casual. 

Each itinerary features one to two “formal” nights that we call Evening Chic. Evening Chic means you dress to impress, glamorous and sophisticated in your own way, with a cocktail dress, skirt, slacks, or designer jeans, an elegant dress top, or blazer—some guests even pack a tuxedo or gown for onboard photos. 

The daily program, delivered to your stateroom and available at the Guest Relations Desk, will be your guide to the correct attire each evening. If you do not wish to participate in Evening Chic, Smart Casual attire is acceptable for dining and attending the theater.

Cruises to the Galapagos are less formal and there are no Evening Chic nights, as these are expedition voyages. In the Galapagos, for women, we recommend resort-casual attire (pants, skirts, or even casual dresses), and for men, a comfortable shirt and pants in the evenings.

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Schedules, terminals, wiki, news, live port maps,  hilo , hawaii island.

Hilo is a port town and the largest settlement on Hawaii island (aka Big Island), with population around 45,000. The town overlooks Hilo Bay, located upon two shield volcanoes: Mauna Kea (dormant...

 Gythion , Greece

Gythion/Gythio is a port town located in Greece's Laconia/Lacedaemonia region (southeastern Peloponnese Peninsula) with population around 7,000. Gythion was Ancient Sparta's principal seaport and...

 Santorini Island , Thira, Greece

Santorini Island (Greece) is among the most popular ports of call on Eastern Mediterranean/Aegean cruises. The island is in the Aegan Sea and is the southernmost of the Greek Cycladic Islands...

 Civitavecchia-Rome , Italy

Port Civitavecchia is the passenger (ferry and cruise) and cargo port of Rome City - Italy's capital and largest city. Civitavecchia is approx 80 km / 50 mi northwest of Rome. The arriving cruise...

 Miami , Florida

PortMiami and Port Everglades/Fort Lauderdale are the world's largest/busiest cruise ports and the USA's main turnaround/departure ports for roundtrip Caribbean voyages. Both seaports and their...

 Fort Lauderdale , Port Everglades, Florida

Port Everglades (Fort Lauderdale's cruise port) is a major seaport in Broward County (Florida USA), and currently ranked the world's 3rd-largest cruise port - after PortMiami and Port Canaveral. Port...

 Kotor , Montenegro

Kotor is an Adriatic port town in Montenegro, located in Bay of Kotor (aka Boka) and with population around 15,000. The port is surrounded by fortifications created during Venetian period - when the...

 Southampton , England

Port Southampton is the UK's largest passenger (ferry and cruise) port and Britain's second-largest cargo/container port (following Felixstowe). Its first dock was opened in 1843. Most of its...

 Hong Kong , China

Hong Kong is a deepwater port city and one of China's two Special Administrative Regions/SARs (together with Macau) with total area approx 2755 km2 / 1064 mi2, of which ~60% is water. The city has...

 Busan , Korea

Busan (aka Pusan) is South Korea's largest seaport and by population (around 3,6 million) it is ranked Korea's second-largest city - after Seoul. Currently, South Korea has 4 cruise ports with all 5...

 Aomori City , Japan Aomori

Aomori (Aomori-shi) is the principal port and the capital city of Japan's Aomori Prefecture (Honshu Island's Tohoku region) with population around 290,000. Port Aomori (locode JPAOJ) serves cargo...

 Sitka , Baranof Island Alaska

Sitka is a major cruise port and city located on the western shore of Baranof Island in the Alexander Archipelago (Southeast Alaska). During Alaskan season 2023, Sitka reported a record year with...

 La Goulette-Tunis , Tunisia

Port La Goulette (locode TNTUN) is the cruise port for Tunis City - Tunisia's capital and largest city, with population over 1 million (metro 2,6+ million). The port town La Goulette is on the...

 Harbour Island Bahamas , Dunmore Town

Harbour Island is part of Out Islands (Bahamas) and is located off the Eleuthera Island's northeastern coast. Its population is under 2,000. The island's only town - Dunmore Town, is named after...

 Kochi City , Japan Kochi

Kochi (Kochi-shi) is the principal seaport and the capital city of Japan's Kochi Prefecture (on Shikoku Island's southern coast) with population over 330,000. Port Kochi (locode JPKCZ) is also the...

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

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Breaking news, father of florida cruise passenger, 20, who jumped off royal caribbean ship after argument believes his son is still alive: report.

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The father of the 20-year-old passenger who jumped off a Royal Caribbean cruise ship last Thursday in a reportedly drunken, impulsive leap believes his son is still alive nearly a week later.

Francel Parker, dad of missing Levion Parker, told the Daily Sun that he believes his child — whom he called a master diver — is still alive in the waters off the Bahamas.

“As soon as he went off the side, I prayed over him. I was confident the prayers I said over my son were heard. I stand on the word of God. I believe he is alive,” Francel Parker said to the local Florida paper Wednesday.

The US Coast Guard called off its search for the North Port man a day earlier.

The younger Parker allegedly jumped off the 18-story Liberty of the Seas around 4 a.m. in front of his helpless dad and younger brother after getting into an argument with his father, witnesses previously told The Post.

But Francel, who runs an AC business in Port Charlotte, told the local newspaper that he wasn’t arguing with Levion and that his son wasn’t trying to take his own life.

He said Levion is a skilled diver who works on a commercial fishing boat, and he is demanding to know how his underage son was given alcohol on the four-day cruise to Cuba and the Bahamas’ Grand Inagua Island.

“We don’t drink,” Francel said. “I’d like to know how my son was served so much alcohol.”

Another passenger onboard the cruise who witnessed Levion’s heart-stopping jump said Francel was “fussing at him for being drunk.”

Bryan Sims told The Post that he was hanging out with Levion and his 18-year-old brother, Seth, in the hotel tub of the ship in the early hours of April 4 before they went their separate ways.

After Sims had used the restroom and dried off, he bumped into the brothers and their father near the elevators.

“As we were walking from the hot tub back to the elevators, his dad and brother were walking towards us. His dad was fussing at him for being drunk, I guess,” Sims said of the moment before Parker jumped.  

“When we got to them, he said to his dad, ‘I’ll fix this right now.’ And he jumped out the window in front of us all,” Sims said, calling what he witnessed “surreal.”

Another cruise guest described the frantic chaos that followed.

“There was a lot of yelling, and the crew was alerted immediately,” Deborah Morrison told The Post.

“His family was horrified. Just beside themselves. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going through.”

Francel told the Daily Sun that he threw six life rings off the ship in hopes of saving his son before the massive vessel was able to come to a stop about 20 minutes later.

Royal Caribbean said it “immediately” launched search boats to look for the 20-year-old and alerted the Coast Guard, which later took over the search.

At least 406 people on major cruise lines and ferries have gone overboard between 2000 and 2024, according to data collected by retired professor and cruise industry researcher Ross Klein.

Death rates among overboard passengers and crew members vary significantly among cruise lines, but even the safest cruise companies were only able to rescue about 40% of people who fall or jump off the ship, Klein told the Washington Post in July.

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Royal Caribbean Cruises Has Upside To Estimates, Says Bullish Analyst

Zinger key points.

• The company can drive price by including more unique destinations, says analyst in the initiation note.
• Royal Caribbean Cruises plans to inaugurate Royal Beach Club in spring or summer 2025.

A mix of quality ship assets and differentiated destinations helps Royal Caribbean Cruises Ltd RCL drive upside to estimates, according to Mizuho Securities .

The Royal Caribbean Cruises Analyst: Ben Chaiken initiated coverage of Royal Caribbean Cruises with a Buy rating and a price target of $164.

The Royal Caribbean Cruises Takeaways: The company can drive price by including more unique destinations, Chaiken said in the initiation note.

"RCL should be able to drive incremental demand through the expansion of existing destinations (e.g., CocoCay), the development of new attractions (Hideaway Beach and Royal Beach Club), as well as differentiated ships (e.g., Icon of the Seas)," the analyst wrote.

Royal Caribbean Cruises plans to inaugurate Royal Beach Club in spring or summer 2025, which is "particularly geared for the short-duration cruise" and could be "a material yield driver," he added.

The company has removed some costs from the system, which could drive upside to estimates, Chaiken further stated.

RCL Price Action: Shares of Royal Caribbean Cruises had risen by 0.74% to $127.55 at the time of publication on Wednesday .

Read Next: What’s Going On With Intrusion Shares Today?

Photo: Courtesy Royal Caribbean

© 2024 Benzinga.com. Benzinga does not provide investment advice. All rights reserved.

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Why a major Miami cruise company has canceled over a dozen international trips for 2025

M iami-based Norwegian Cruise Line has canceled at least 14 cruises on 7 ships in 2025 as a booming industry confronts global conflict and other issues.

The cancellations include trips in May and September on Norwegian Viva, the company’s newest ship, and ones in April through June on Norwegian Sky, which frequently sails from PortMiami.

Norwegian said customers who are affected will get a full refund and a 10% discount on future sailings through Dec. 31, 2025.

In a statement, the company said that the cancellations “are a result of varied events, including the ongoing situation in the Red Sea and Israel, modified dry dock schedules for ship enhancements, a full ship charter, and lastly, to accommodate the demand for shorter close-to-home voyages to the Bahamas.”

Suspended trips include the Norwegian Jade from Feb. 20 through March 24, 2025. That ship often departs from Port Canaveral.

Norwegian remains optimistic about cruising. This week, the company ordered eight new ships, its largest ever single purchase, a milestone celebrated at Seatrade Cruise Global, a four-day annual industry conference at the Miami Beach Convention Center. They will be delivered between 2026 and 2036.

Since the terror group Hamas attacked Israel and the Gaza war started in October, cruise companies have been canceling trips to the Middle East.

Next year’s cruise cancellations affect passengers of the Norwegian Epic, Norwegian Sky, and Norwegian Viva.

A March 28 letter to passengers said: “We have been monitoring the situation in Israel, and despite our best hopes that it would de-escalate, we have made the decision to alter published itineraries that transit through and around the region.”

For Epic, the decision was made “in order to reroute her and accommodate the early start to her Caribbean cruise season.”

The Sky will be rerouted around Africa and deployed to Eastern, Western, and Southern Africa, a letter to those passengers said.

Viva is being sent to the Mediterranean, passengers were told in a letter.

Despite any security risks, major airlines including United and Delta have said they will resume flights to Israel. Next week, El Al resumes non-stop service between Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport and Tel Aviv twice a week. The Israeli airline continues to offer five flights a week from Miami International Airport.

Norwegian in its statement said the cruise company remains committed to taking its guests to “some of the most sought-out destinations around the world.” But sometimes, itineraries need to be modified to “accommodate certain circumstances.”

Other reasons for the cruise changes

But security in the Middle East isn’t the only reason for the changes.

The Norwegian Star canceled because of a “full ship charter.” That means a private organization offered to rent out the whole ship for an entire trip.

The Norwegian Spirit underwent a planned renovation in less time than anticipated, and so now wants to use that time for a longer trip. “As the renovation period will be complete prior to schedule, we now have the opportunity to enhance the originally scheduled January 21, 2025 itinerary, and offer a longer and more immersive experience,” it told guests in a letter.

Meanwhile the canceled sailings on the Norwegian Jade from Feb. 20 through March 25 is “part of a fleet redeployment to accommodate strong demand for cruises through the Panama Canal and to the Bahamas,” the company wrote in a letter to passengers.

Cruise cancellations list

Here is a full list of cruises canceled by Norwegian is listed here, provided by the company:

• Norwegian Spirit: Jan. 21, 2025
• Norwegian Jade: Feb. 20 through March 24, 2025
• Norwegian Sky: April 19 through June 5, 2025
• Norwegian Star: May 17 through June 9, 2025
• Norwegian Viva: May 18 and 27, and Sept. 20 and 29, 2025
• Norwegian Pearl: Oct. 15, 2025
• Norwegian Epic: Nov. 1 and Nov. 11, 2025

©2024 Miami Herald. Visit miamiherald.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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BIODIVERSE BEAUTY

South america cruises.

Hunt for cultural treasures and outdoor thrills in South America.

Central and South America are a lively mix of cultures, history, music, cuisine and natural landscapes. Lose yourself in the charm of Cartagena, Colombia's colorful and colonial capital city. Travel deep into the lush rainforests of Costa Rica in San Luis Park. Lay back on white-sand beaches like Dzul Ha and Chen Rio in Cozumel, Mexico. Go snorkeling in the warm waters lined with vibrant coral reefs off Belize, and see the Mayan landmark El Castillo in the rainforest near Belize City. Cruise to Central and South America to stroll through the Spanish colonial-era streets of Antigua, Guatemala, with its Baroque churches backdropped by dramatic Volcan de Agua volcano.

This Is What Adventure Looks Like

Hunt for cultural treasures and outdoor thrills in South America

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CULTURE CLASH

South America is diverse in all realms, with cultural treasures waiting to be discovered. Walk the cobblestone streets of Cartagena, Colombia, and Antigua, Guatemala, lined with regal plazas and opulent churches. Then, stop by the local markets to peruse the hand-embroidered, brightly colored traditional garments and take in the fragrant smells of dried chiles.  

CANAL ACROSS A CONTINENT

Sail from the Pacific to the Atlantic side (or vice versa) of the South American coast on a Panama Canal cruise. As you make your way between the two oceans, you'll pass Soberania National Park: Take in the stunning views of its lush rainforests, and keep your eyes peeled for rare parakeets and capuchin monkeys. 

PANAMA CANAL

CABO SAN LUCAS

LOS ANGELES

FIND YOUR PATH TO ADVENTURE IN SOUTH AMERICA

From the Panama Canal to the beaches and Mayan ruins of Mexico, you can choose your own path to South American adventure.

EXPLORE MORE

MEXICO YUCATAN

COZUMEL & CANCUN

SOUTHERN CARIBBEAN

Every country has its own particular history and influences: Get to know the locals to discover what makes them unique.

Learn a few words and phrases Spanish — they'll come in handy as you interact with the locals.

Dare to go beyond the tourist areas and find your way to the places where locals hang out. You'll get a closer look at the typical daily life of the country.

Related Ports

Explore the many adventure-filled ports of South America and the Caribbean: Zip-line over rainforest in Puntarenas, Costa Rica, and trek to ancient ruins in Tulum, Mexico. Or take a Panama Canal cruise and see the man-made and natural wonders that line this historic body of water between stops at colonial cities like Cartagena, Colombia,  Antigua, and Guatemala.

St. John's, Antigua

Roatan, Honduras

Banana Coast (Trujillo), Honduras

Cartagena, Colombia

Puerto Quetzal, Guatemala

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