grandma from visit

The Visit Explained (Plot And Ending)

The Visit is a 2015  horror   thriller  directed by M. Night Shyamalan. It follows two siblings who visit their estranged grandparents only to discover something is very wrong with them. As the children try to uncover the truth, they are increasingly terrorized by their grandparents’ bizarre behaviour. Here’s the plot and ending of The Visit explained; spoilers ahead.

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Here are links to the key aspects of the movie:

• – The Story
• – Plot Explained
• – Ending Explained
• – The Sense Of Dread
• – Separation, Remorse, and Personal Fears
• – Frequently Asked Questions Answered
• – Wrap Up

What is the story of The Visit?

The Visit is about two kids visiting their grandparents for the first time. They are also going there to hope and rebuild a bridge between their mom and grandparents and help their mom heal after a painful divorce. The movie is in documentary form.

The Visit is one of the most unnerving and realistic horror stories. A good thing about classic horror movies is that, after the movie ends, you can switch it off and go to bed,  knowing that you’re safe . Vampires, ghosts, and demonic powers don’t exist, and even if you are prone to these kinds of esoteric beliefs, there are safeguards. If your home is not built in an Indian burial ground and you haven’t bought any creepy-looking dolls from your local antiquary, you’re perfectly safe.

However, what about the idea of two kids spending five days with two escaped psychiatric ward patients in a remote farmhouse? Now, this is a thought that will send shivers down your spine. It’s a story that sounds not just realistic but real. It’s  something that might have happened in the past  or might happen in the future.

This is  what  The Visit  is all about . This idea, coupled with documentary-form storytelling, is why the movie is so unnerving to watch.

The Visit: Plot Explained

Loretta’s past.

As a young girl, Loretta Jamison fell in love with her high school teacher and decided to skip her hometown with him. Before leaving, she had a heated altercation with her parents and hasn’t seen them since. At the movie’s start, she is a single mom of 15-year-old Becca and 14-year-old Tyler, and she  hasn’t spoken to her parents in 15 years .

What really happened on the day Loretta left?

Loretta’s mom tries to stop her from leaving the house, and Loretta hits her mom, and her dad hits her. Soon after, her parents try to reach out to Loretta, but she refuses to take their calls, and years go by.

Meet The Grandparents

Years later, Loretta’s parents reach out to  meet their grandchildren . The grandparents are, seemingly, wholly reformed and now even help at the local psychiatric hospital. Although initially not too fond of the idea, Loretta is persuaded by the insistence of her children. While she had no intention of visiting the parents, she permitted her children to pay their grandparents a five-day visit.

At The Grandparents’

Their first meeting with Nana and Pop Pop starts on the right foot. They start getting to know each other, and other than a simple generational gap, nothing seems too strange. The only thing that seems off is that they are warned  not to leave the room after 9:30 in the evening .

The kids break this rule, and on the first night, they notice  Nana acting erratically , projectile vomiting, scratching wallpaper with her bare hands, and running around the house on all fours. Grandpa appears paranoid and hides his adult diapers in the garden shed, and the situation escalates each day.

The Visit Ending Explained: What happens in the end?

The ending of Visit has the kids finally showing the elderly couple to Loretta. She, completely horrified, states that  those are not her parents . The pair posing as Pop Pop and Nana are escaped psychiatric institution patients who murdered their grandparents and took their places.

The kids survive, kill their captors, and are found alive and well by their mom and the police. Becca kills Nana with a shard from the mirror, thus symbolically overcoming her fear of her reflection. Tyler kills Pop Pop by repeatedly slamming him in the head with a refrigerator door after overcoming his germaphobia and anxiety about freezing.

The Sense Of Dread

The elements of horror in this movie are just  perfectly executed . First of all, the film is shot as a documentary. Becca is an aspiring filmmaker who records the entire trip with her camera. From time to time, we see an interview of all the characters, which just serves as the perfect vessel for characterization.

No Ghouls or Cults

Another thing that evokes dread is  realism . There are no supernatural beings or demonic forces. It’s just two kids alone in a remote farmstead with two creepy, deranged people. Even in the end, when Loretta finds out what’s happening, it takes her hours to get there with the police. The scariest part is that it’s not that hard to imagine something along those lines really happening.

The  house itself is dread-inducing . The place is old and rustic. Like in The Black Phone soundproofing a room  could have prevented kids from hearing Nana rummaging around the house without a clear idea of what was happening, but this was not the case, as the old couple weren’t that capable.

The  characters  themselves  are perfectly played . Something is unnerving about Pop Pop and Nana from the very first scene. It’s the Uncanny Valley scenario where you feel that something’s off and shakes you to the core, but you have no idea what it is.

Separation, Remorse, and Personal Fears

What this movie does the best is explore the  ugly side of separation, old grudges, and remorse . The main reason why kids are insistent on visiting their grandparents is out of their desire to help their mom.

They see she’s remorseful for never  working things out with her parents . In light of her failed marriage and the affair that caused it to end, she might live with the doubt that her parents were right all along. This makes her decision and altercation with her parents even worse. Reconciling when you know you were wrong is harder than forgiving the person who wronged you.

The Kids’ Perspective

There are personal fears and  traumas of the kids . Tyler, in his childish naivete, is convinced that his father left because he was disappointed in him as a son. Tyler tells Becca that he froze during one game he played, which disappointed his dad so much that he had to leave. While this sounds ridiculous to any adult (and even Becca), it’s a matter of fact to Tyler. As a result of this trauma, Tyler also developed germaphobia. In Becca’s own words, this gives him a greater sense of control.

On the other hand,  Becca refuses to look at herself in the mirror  or stand in front of the camera if she can help it. Both kids  had to overcome their fears to survive , which is a solid and clear metaphor for how these things sometimes turn out in real life.

Frequently Asked Questions Answered

The visit: what’s wrong with the grandparents who are the grandparents.

The people who hosted Becca and Tyler were runaway psychiatric hospital patients who murdered the real grandparents and took their place. Nana’s impostor (Claire) was actually responsible for murdering her children by drowning them in a well. Pop Pop’s impostor (Mitchell) wanted to give Claire a second chance at having kids / being a grandparent.

How did the imposter grandparents know about the kids’ visit?

It appears Claire and Mitchell hear the real Nana and Pop Pop brag about their grandkids’ visit. They also learned that neither the grandparents nor the kids had seen each other. The real grandparents appear to have been consulting in the same hospital Claire and Mitchell were being treated. The two crazies take this opportunity to break out, kill the real grandparents and go to the station to pick up the children.

The Visit: What is Sinmorfitellia?

Claire and Mitchell believe that Sinmorfitellia is an alien planet, and the creatures from there lurk on Earth. They spit into the waters of wells and ponds all day, which can put people into a deep sleep. They take  sleeping with the fishes  quite literally. Long ago, Claire drowned her children believing they would go to Sinmorfitellia.

The Visit: What happened to the real grandparents?

Claire and Mitchel killed Nana and Pop Pop and put them in the basement. This information went unnoticed because Becca’s laptop’s camera was damaged by Nana, so Loretta could not confirm the imposters. Claire and Mitchel were not present every time someone came to visit, so no one suspected foul play except Stacey, who received help from the real grandparents. As a result, she is killed.

What did Claire and Mitchel intend to do?

They plan to go to Sinmorfitellia with Becca and Tyler. They all plan to die on that last night and enter the well, which they believe is their path to the alien planet where they can be happy together. This is perhaps why the grandparents hang Stacey outside the house because they don’t care about being caught.

The Visit: What’s wrong with Nana?

We don’t know what caused Nana’s mental illness, but she was crazy enough to kill her two children by putting them in suitcases and drowning them in a pond. It appears she suffers from schizophrenia as she has delusions.

The Visit: Wrap Up

From the standpoint of horror, The Visit has it all. An unnerving realistic scenario, real-life trauma, and an atmosphere of fear. Combine this with  some of the best acting work in the genre  and a documentary-style movie, and you’ve got yourself a real masterpiece.

On the downside, the movie leaves you with a lot of open questions like:

• Considering the kids have never seen the grandparents and are going alone, Loretta didn’t ensure her kids knew what her parents looked like?
• How are Claire and Mitchell out and about so close to the hospital without being caught?
• Considering they are mentally ill, how did Claire and Mitchell plot such a thorough plan? (e.g. strategically damaging the camera of the laptop)
• I understand  Suspension Of Disbelief  in horror films, but neither kids drop their cameras despite the terror they go through only so we, the audience, can get the entire narrative?

What were your thoughts on the plot and ending of the movie The Visit? Drop your comments below!

Stacey is a talented freelance writer passionate about all things pop culture. She has a keen eye for detail and a natural talent for storytelling. She’s a super-fan of Game of Thrones, Cats, and Indie Rock Music and can often be found engrossed in complex films and books. Connect with her on her social media handles to learn more about her work and interests.

The Visit Ending, Explained: What’s Wrong With the Grandparents?

In M. Night Shyamalan’s 2015 horror film, ‘The Visit,’ the audience accompanies a pair of young protagonists on a trip that leads to more menacing outcomes than one expects from a visit to Grandma’s house. After their distant grandparents, Nana and Pop Pop, reach out to teenage sibling duo Becca and Tyler, the pair takes the former up on their invitation for a week-long stay. However, upon arrival, armed with several cameras for Becca’s documentary, the two quickly begin noticing the strange happenings that seem to occur at the house after nightfall. Thus, the kids find themselves fending for themselves as each day unravels more erratic behavior by their aging grandparents, with the night bringing something more sinister.

The found footage film builds a compelling thriller narrative that gradually boosts its suspense until the final act delivers a startling and much-anticipated plot twist that fans have come to expect from the filmmaker. Nonetheless, the same conclusive twist may have left some of the viewers with a few questions. SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Visit Plot Synopsis

In her late teens, Loretta Jamison ran away with a substitute teacher from her high school, Corin, causing a rift between herself and her parents. As a result, years later, after Corin has abandoned his family, Loretta’s 15-year-old daughter, Becca, and 14-year-old Tyler have never met their grandparents. However, their distant relationship stands to change when the old couple reaches out to their grandkids, extending a home-visit invitation. Even though Loretta is against the idea, she doesn’t try to stop her children after they decide to visit her childhood home.

As such, while Loretta leaves for a cruise with her boyfriend, her kids take the train to visit their grandparents with promises of routine Skype calls. Becca, an aspiring filmmaker, decides to document the entire thing in hopes of learning the specifics about her mother and grandparents’ falling out. Consequently, Bella and Fredrick Spencer arrive at the train station on Monday morning to pick up their grandkids with enthusiastic smiles. Their first day together goes smoothly, and as it comes to an end, the kids’ grandpa, Pop Pop, instructs them about a 9:30 bedtime rule.

Although the kids don’t think of it much at first, Becca learns the merit of following through with the rule after she ventures out for a midnight snack and witnesses her Nana, sick and frantically throwing up. Even more frightening, the morning after, the woman abruptly and manically chases the kids under the house’s crawlspace during an impromptu game of hide-n-seek. Throughout the day, the kids’ concern grows further after noticing a few disturbing things about Pop Pop, such as his lack of bowel control and tendency to attack strangers in a fit of paranoia.

The following night, Tyler’s worries grow after he spots Nana wildly scratching at the walls outside the kids’ guest room in a stark state of undress. However, after Becca asks Pop Pop about the older woman’s condition, she receives a plausible answer about Nana’s sundowning issue, establishing her concerning after-hours behavior is similar to sleepwalking.

The explanation satisfies Becca, who attempts to return to her mission to learn about her mother’s relationship with Nana and Pop Pop. Still, she doesn’t make much progress since the topic seems to trigger a violent episode in her grandmother. Meanwhile, Tyler remains weary of his grandparents’ actions and insists they should spy on them by setting up cameras in the living room. Although Becca is initially against the idea, she agrees after walking in on Pop Pop with a rifle’s barrel in his mouth.

Even so, the plan backfires when Nana spots the camera on her nightly manic episode and attempts to break into the kids’ room armed with a knife. Once Becca realizes their lives may be in danger after reviewing the night’s footage, she decides to ask Loretta to pick them up on account of the dangerous circumstances. However, the kids are in for a big surprise when they show the elderly couple to their mother from a window, only to learn that the people they have spent the past few days with are not their grandparents.

The Visit Ending: Who Are The Old Couple? What Did They Do To The Real Grandparents?

As a slow burn of mourning suspense and horror, the film reveals Nana and Pop Pop’s concerning attributes in slow bouts. At first, the behavior that the couple exhibits can be easily explained as a condition of their old age, with sundowning, memory issues, and paranoia forming the baseline. Yet, as the film progresses, the old couple becomes more and more dangerous— first toward themselves and then the kids.

Due to Loretta’s dramatic exit from her parents’ house, the woman seldom speaks to the couple, even as she regularly calls the kids. Furthermore, a seemingly innocent accident damages Becca’s webcam, robbing the mother of any visual cues. Therefore, it isn’t until Thursday morning, when Becca and Tyler have begun fearing for their lives, that Loretta glimpses at the old couple. Consequently, she realizes all this time, her kids have been living with a pair of strangers who are pretending to be their grandparents.

The revelation immediately sets Loretta into action, who tries to contact the cops and reach her kids as soon as possible. In the meantime, she advises her kids to seek help from the neighbors to put distance between themselves and the imposters. Nevertheless, the old couple prevents Becca and Tyler from leaving the house with the idea of a family game night. Thus, with tension in the air, the kids find themselves enduring a game of Yahtzee until the old woman’s incoming mental episode gives Becca an excuse to slip away.

Using the opportunity to explore the house and learn about the imposters, Becca ventures into the forbidden basement, where she suspects her actual grandparents to be. Inside, she finds all the answers to her questions as Becca’s hunch turns out to be true in the worst way possible.

As it would turn out, the imposter old couple is a pair of psychiatric hospital patients, where the actual Bella and Patrick Spencer volunteered. The psychotic couple believed they were from an alien planet, Sinmorfitellia. As such, the pair drowned their own kids inside a well that they believed to hold a passage to the alien planet. For the same reason, they were being under monitoring in the psychic hospital.

Nonetheless, the couple escaped their bounds after the Spencers revealed their plans for a family reunion with their grandkids. Envious of the other couple, the imposters, Claire and Mitchell, killed the former pair and overtook their identities to spend the week with Becca and Tyler. Consequently, the duo managed to evade outsiders anytime they came looking for them at the house and ultimately killed their neighbor, Stacey, when she realized their reality.

Soon after Becca learns this truth, Mitchell locks her up in a room with a psychotic Claire, undergoing her violent episode. Despite their earlier attempts at domestic bliss, the couple’s instincts compel them to harm the children. Nevertheless, before the older woman can choke Becca to death, the girl manages to get her hands on a mirror shard and stabs her attacker to death. Afterward, she rushes to her younger brother’s aid, whom Mitchel is psychologically torturing.

However, with his sister’s element of surprise, Tyler manages to overpower Mitchell, unleashing raw rage and bashing the older man to death by slamming the refrigerator door at his head. Ultimately, after killing the old couple pretending to be their grandparents, Becca and Tyler make it out of the experience alive and reunite with their mother.

Why Did Loretta Stop Talking To Her Parents?

By the film’s end, Loretta’s sore relationship with her parents remains the one last mystery. Arguably, the woman’s reluctance to speak to her parents played a part in the kids’ entrapment since the latter had no point of reference to distinguish their relatives from strangers. Furthermore, part of Becca’s curiosity about her grandparents stemmed from Loretta’s refusal to speak about them to her own kids.

As such, after Becca and Tyler have returned to the safety of their home, Loretta sits down for one last interview for her daughter’s documentary, where she speaks about her past with her parents. When 19-year-old Loretta tried to run away from home with Corin, her high school teacher, the former’s parents wanted to stop her. Nevertheless, the same only resulted in an altercation where Loretta hit her mother, followed by the former’s father hitting his daughter.

Therefore, Loretta’s last day on the farm gave birth to several familial complications. Although Loretta’s parents tried to apologize and solve things afterward, the woman continued to avoid them years and years into the future. For the same reason, Loretta imparts a lesson to her daughter to never hold grudges so hard that they end up ruining things. In turn, Becca, who despises her father for abandoning them, decides to learn from her mother’s mistakes. Unlike Loretta, who refused to speak to her parents, leading to regret after their death, Becca chooses to include home videos of her father in the documentary to close the narrative as a sign of her forgiveness.

Read More: Is The Visit Based on a True Story?

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‘The Visit’ Ending Explained: Family Reunions Can Be Torture

What's wrong with Grandma?

The Big Picture

• In M. Night Shyamalan's The Visit , the main characters discover that the grandparents they are staying with are actually dangerous imposters.
• The twist is revealed when the children's mother realizes that the people claiming to be their grandparents are strangers who have assumed their identities.
• The climax of the film involves a tense and dangerous confrontation between the children and the imposters, resulting in the reveal of the true identities of the grandparents.

M. Night Shyamalan is considered a master at delivering drop-your-popcorn-level twisty conclusions to his haunting films. People still talk about the end of The Sixth Sense as perhaps one of the greatest twists in the history of modern cinema. The jaw-dropper at the end of Unbreakable ranks close to the top as well. But there is another pretty decent curveball that the director tosses up in a lesser-known movie that is currently streaming on Max. In 2016's The Visit (which is currently streaming on Max ) he plays on the hallowed relationship between children and their doting grandparents. How could Shyamalan toy with the innocence of this? It is an excellent film that deftly blends found footage with the director's signature slow-burning tension to leave audiences with yet another "WTF?" moment . Let's dig into what exactly happens at the end of his underrated movie, The Visit .

Two siblings become increasingly frightened by their grandparents' disturbing behavior while visiting them on vacation.

What is 'The Visit' About?

Young Becca Jamison ( Olivia DeJonge ) and little brother Tyler ( Ed Oxenbould ) are sent away by their divorced mother Loretta ( Kathryn Hahn ) to finally meet and spend some time with their grandparents , Frederick, or Pop Pop ( Peter McRobbie ), and Maria, better known as Nana ( Deanna Dunagan ). They have a nice rural estate away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and it feels like this is going to be a heartwarming story of two generations of the Jamisons getting to know each other. It seems a bit odd that these two preteens have yet to meet their maternal grandparents, but Shyamalan explains that nicely in the first few scenes: Loretta has had a years-long falling out with her parents after leaving the family farm at the age of 19.

M. Night Shyamalan’s Eerie Found Footage Horror Movie Deserves Another Look

Loretta is still estranged from her parents but she wants her children to have a relationship with them — she only wants to go on a cruise with her new boyfriend and needs someone to watch the kids. So, the children have no idea what their Nana and Pop Pop actually look like. And you can feel something amiss from the very beginning of the film as the two precocious but excited kids set off to meet their grandparents. The entire film is told through the kids' (mainly Becca, an aspiring filmmaker) camcorder, as they have decided to document their trip. It's clear right away that Becca resents her father as a result of his abandonment, as she refuses to include any footage of her dad in her film.

Shyamalan Expertly Builds Tension in 'The Visit'

Upon the kids' arrival, Nana and Pop Pop seem like regular grandparents with regular questions like, "Do you like sports?" and "Why are your pants so low?" Nana tends to the chores like cooking and cleaning while Pop Pop handles the more rugged work outdoors like cutting wood. Naturally, Shyamalan tightens the screws immediately when the audience discovers that there is little to no cell phone reception, so he can isolate our four players into a single space. The Grandparents seem fairly easygoing but they have one strict rule — the kids must not come out of their bedroom after 9:30 pm. The very first night, Nana exhibits some bizarre behavior, walking aimlessly through the downstairs portion of the house and vomiting on the floor. However, the next morning she seems to be just fine.

Pop Pop explains to Becca and Tyler that she suffers from "sundowning" which is a very real diagnosis that usually affects the elderly . He tells them that at night Nana gets this feeling that something is in her body and just wants to get out. Pop Pop is clear and coherent, and yet again, we, along with our two young lead characters, assume the grandparents, while odd, are nothing to fear. A Zoom call with Loretta further assuages their fear by explaining away all the strange behavior as part of getting older. It's a back-and-forth that Shyamalan expertly navigates by pushing the audience only so far before reeling it back in with a logical explanation. But soon, things become inexplicably dire and dangerous.

"What's in the shed?" Tyler asks as he looks into the camera while contributing to Becca's documentary . "Is it dead bodies?" What he discovers is a pile of used, discarded adult diapers filled with Pop Pop's excrement. The smell sends Tyler reeling, and he falls out of the shed onto the snowy ground. This time, it's Nana who explains away Pop Pop's odd behavior. She tells her grandson that Pop Pop has incontinence and is so proud that he hides his waste in the shed. At this point, everything seems very odd to say the least, but there is nothing to suggest anything sinister is afoot . Not yet anyway. Even after he attacks a random stranger who he believes is watching him out on the streets on a trip into town, you still just think that maybe Pop Pop may just have a loose screw. However, the sense that these elderly people are something more than doting parents is intensified when Nana leaves Becca inside the oven for several seconds.

What Is the Twist at the End of 'The Visit'?

"Those aren't your grandparents?" Get the heck out of here! What?! Loretta finally sees the two people claiming to be her parents and tells Becca and Tyler via Skype that they aren't their beloved Nana and Pop Pop, but two complete strangers who have assumed their identities. Loretta immediately calls the police, but it will take hours for help to arrive at the remote farmhouse. Becca and Tyler are going to have to play along with these dangerous imposters. After the most tense and awkward game of Yahtzee in the history of board games, things get really, really ugly. Nana and Pop Pop haven't laid a hand on either of the kids in the movie so far. You can feel the slow and excruciating tension that Shyamalan is building . He knows that the audience is waiting for that "point of no return" moment when it is crystal clear that Becca and Tyler's lives are in danger. Becca manages to escape to the basement to discover the dead bodies of two elderly people murdered. Nana and Pop Pop are escaped mental patients from the nearby psychiatric hospital and have killed the real Jamison grandparents.

What Happens at the End of 'The Visit'?

Pop Pop realizes their cover is blown and becomes physical with Becca. He's upset that Becca is ruining Nana's perfect week as a grandmother. He tells her, "We're all dying today, Becca!" pushing her into a pitch-black upstairs room. Meanwhile, he grabs Tyler and takes him into the kitchen, and does one of the most foul and stomach-turning things ever in a Shyamalan film . He takes his used diaper and shoves it in the boy's face. He knows that Tyler is a germaphobe, and it is the most diabolical and traumatizing thing he could do to the boy. Becca is trapped upstairs with the sundowning Nana, fighting for her own life. After a struggle, Becca grasps a shard of glass from the broken mirror and is able to stab Nana multiple times in the gut.

She breaks the lock on the door and runs downstairs to help Tyler. She pulls "Pop Pop" off her traumatized younger brother. Suddenly, Tyler snaps out of his stupor and releases the pent-up anger of his football tackling lessons with his estranged father. He knocks Pop Pop to the ground and slams the refrigerator door on his head over and over . This is significant because earlier in the movie, Becca ribs Tyler about how he froze up during a big play in a youth football game, and this time he comes through to save Becca in the final kitchen scene conquering his biggest fears.

Loretta and the police arrive and the kids run frantically out of the house. The final scene has Loretta setting the record straight for the documentary about the traumatic moments surrounding her running away from home. 15 years before the events of the film, before Becca was born, Loretta fell out with her parents over her decision to marry her teacher. The argument led to Loretta and her parents getting physical with each other, and she left home that night and never responded to their attempts and pleas to reconnect. It's the most emotional scene in the film as Loretta is feeling a huge amount of guilt at never getting to say she was sorry for the strained relationship between her and her parents or getting to possibly hear an apology for the wrongs they also committed. Loretta tells Becca "Don't hold on to anger! You hear me?" The two then share a meaningful embrace. And the final shot is of the two kids with their dad on a birthday when they were much younger.

The Visit is available to stream on Max in the U.S.

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Screen Rant

The grandparents in the visit explained: breaking down the twist's clues & reveal.

M. Night Shyamalan's The Visit has a big twist and shocking reveal about the grandparents, and there were many clues to this throughout the movie.

Spoilers for M. Night Shyamalans' The Visit.

• Loretta's strained relationship with her parents and lack of photos and communication were clues to The Visit's twist.
• Becca and Tyler had never met their grandparents before and didn't know what they looked like.
• The grandparents had strange rules, and Nana's odd behavior during hide-and-seek hinted at their true intentions.

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Visit has every element that makes a Shyamalan horror movie, including a plot twist that was hinted at throughout the whole movie. After rising to fame in 1999 with The Sixth Sense , M. Night Shyamalan has continued to make movies, mostly horror ones that often include a twist and shocking reveal. Although these elements led to predictable and disappointing reveals and movies, there are others with interesting twists that added to the tension of the story, as was the case of the 2015 found footage horror movie The Visit .

The Visit follows siblings Becca (Olivia DeJonge) and Tyler (Ed Oxenbould), who live with their divorced mother, Loretta (Kathryn Hahn). Loretta hasn’t talked to or seen her parents in 15 years, but when they get into contact with her, Becca and Tyler convince her to let them visit them for a week. As they have never met their grandparents, Becca decides to make a documentary film of the experience. Once with their grandparents at their isolated farmhouse, it all seems normal at first but gets gradually stranger and more disturbing, leading to a shocking reveal: the “grandparents” aren't the real ones, and they killed Loretta’s parents to pose as them .

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Loretta had no relationship with her parents in the visit, loretta didn’t even take her children to the farm..

The first big red flag in The Visit that pointed at this not being a typical trip to the grandparents’ house was Loretta’s relationship with them. At the beginning of The Visit , Loretta explained that she left her parents’ home after falling in love with Becca and Tyler’s father, whom her parents never approved of. Loretta didn’t share more details at first, but at the end of The Visit , it’s revealed that she had a major argument with her parents in which she hit her mother and her father struck her, and after that, she ignored all their attempts to contact her.

Loretta’s resentment and anger went as far as not showing her children photos of her parents , nor did she make the effort to accompany her children to her parents’ house – after all, it was their first time going there and meeting their grandparents. Loretta’s estranged relationship is one of the biggest and earliest clues to The Visit ’s big twist.

Becca & Tyler Had Never Seen Their Grandparents Before

Becca & tyler had no idea what their grandparents looked like..

Not making them part of her and her children’s lives, and not having any photos of them, made it so Becca and Tyler had no idea of what they actually looked like.

Loretta’s difficult relationship with her parents led to her not talking about them, not making them part of her and her children’s lives, and not having any photos of them, so Becca and Tyler had no idea of what they looked like. This certainly made it easier for the fake grandparents to lure Becca and Tyler in , but it was yet another hint at this not being a normal trip to visit the grandparents.

The Kids Weren’t Allowed To Leave Their Room After 9:30 pm.

The grandparents had a couple of rules that had to be followed..

The first rule was because the “grandparents” were hiding the bodies of the real ones in the basement.

Once at the farm, it seemed like a quiet and calm place and the grandparents seemed pleasant, but they had a couple of rules that Becca and Tyler had to follow. The first one was that they weren’t allowed to go into the basement because it had mold, and the second one was that bedtime was at 9:30 every day, and they weren’t allowed to leave their room after that. The first rule was because the “grandparents” were hiding the bodies of the real ones in the basement, but the second one was more complicated.

Nana acted erratically at night , projectile vomiting, running around the house, crawling like an animal, and ripping the walls while naked, among other disturbing things. Leaving their room after 9:30 pm would have not only endangered Becca and Tyler, but it would have also revealed there was something wrong with the grandparents.

Nana’s Odd Behaviour During Hide-and-Seek

One of the visit’s biggest scarejumps..

With not much to do at the farm, Becca and Tyler decided to play hide and seek under the house, but to their surprise, Nana was also there. Nana chased Tyler and Becca, crawling like an animal , and when they all got out, she acted as if nothing had happened and went back inside the house. That same behavior was repeated later on in the movie, further disturbing Becca and Tyler.

Pop Pop Attacked An Unknown Man On The Street

Pop pop believed he was being followed..

Another red flag in Pop Pop’s behavior (after the reveal of the shed with piles of soiled diapers) was when he and Nana took Becca and Tyler to see the school Loretta attended when she was younger. There, Pop Pop saw a man on the other side of the street and, believing he had been following them for a while, attacked him. It wasn’t until Becca stopped him that Pop Pop realized he didn’t know the man, and though this was brushed off by Becca and Loretta as “old people” behavior, Tyler knew something wasn’t right.

Nana “Accidentally” Covered Becca’s Laptop Camera With Dough

Nana temporarily left becca & tyler without their webcam..

Becca and Tyler kept in touch with Loretta through video calls every day while Loretta was on a cruise with her new boyfriend. One day, Nana apologized to Becca for ruining her laptop as she spilled dough on it and tried to clean it but couldn’t get rid of the dough on the camera. Loretta wasn’t able to see her kids because of this , but it was soon clear Nana did it on purpose so Loretta couldn’t see them and thus tell the kids they weren’t the real grandparents.

Dr. Sam’s Visit To Check On The Grandparents

Dr. sam’s visit was a big clue to what happened to the grandparents..

Had the grandparents been home when Dr. Sam arrived, The Visit would have ended earlier.

During their time at the farm, only two people came to visit. The first one was Dr. Sam, who worked at the same hospital where Becca and Tyler’s grandparents volunteered. The grandparents weren’t around when Dr. Sam arrived, but he told Becca and Tyler that he wanted to check on them as they hadn’t gone to work in a couple of days. Had the grandparents been home when Dr. Sam arrived, The Visit would have ended earlier.

Nana Asked Becca To Clean The Oven

Nana had other intentions..

In one of the most suspenseful and strangest moments in The Visit , Nana suddenly asked Becca to help her clean the back of the oven. Becca did so to help her, but Nana insisted that she reach the far back of it, thus getting in completely. Although Nana didn’t do anything to Becca the first time, the second time she asked her for help she closed the oven to clean the outside and then opened it again, letting Becca out.

This moment is reminiscent of the tale of Hansel & Gretel and how the witch tried to trick Gretel into getting inside the oven.

Stacey’s Visit & Confrontation

Stacey realized these weren’t the real grandparents..

The second visit was from a woman named Stacey, whom Becca and Tyler’s real grandparents had helped in counseling at the hospital. As the grandparents weren’t home when she arrived, she returned later and came face to face with the fake grandparents. Stacey tried to get them to leave with her to take them back to the hospital, but they ended up killing her and hanging her body from a tree. Stacey realized these weren’t Becca and Tyler’s real grandparents , but the siblings didn’t understand her reaction.

Why Nana & Pop Pop Killed The Real Grandparents

Becca & tyler never got to meet their real grandparents..

Nana was revealed to have committed murder in the past, and they were both jealous of the real grandparents’ happiness and the visit of their grandkids.

During Becca and Tyler’s final night at the farm, the truth was unveiled: Nana and Pop Pop were patients at the mental hospital where Becca and Tyler’s grandparents volunteered, and the real ones were murdered by them and their bodies kept in the basement. Nana was revealed to have committed murder in the past, and they were both jealous of the real grandparents’ happiness and the visit of their grandkids , so they killed them and took their place.

Clues like Loretta having no photos of her parents and the kids never having met them were necessary to keep the big reveal of The Visit a secret, while others like Dr. Sam and Stacey’s visit added to the horrors that were about to be unleashed at the farm.

From director M. Night Shyamalan, The Visit follows two siblings who are sent to stay with their estranged grandparents while their mother is out of town on vacation. Realizing that all isn't what it seems during their stay, the siblings set out to find out what is really going on at their grandparents' home. Olivia DeJonge and Ed Oxenbould star as Becca and Tyler, with Deanna Dunagan, Peter McRobbie, and Kathryn Hahn making up the rest of the main cast. 

Entertainment

'The Visit's Grandparents Are Seriously Twisted

The new horror film The Visit , from writer/director M. Night Shyamalan, deals with the most classic of horror movie villains: grandparents. Yes, senior citizens provide the scares in this film, said to be Shyamalan's scariest yet, and anyone who has seen the trailer for The Visit knows how creepy these geriatrics can be. In the movie, two kids head out to the country to stay with their grandparents, whom they've never met, for a week. Everything is fine initially, but then their relatives impose a bedtime of 9:30 p.m. and warn the kids not to come out of their room at that time. Of course, they do, and they find their grandparents scratching the walls, making bizarre noises, and running around all possessed-like. You know, typical grandparent stuff. It's disturbing behavior for sure, so you're probably wondering: what's wrong with the grandparents in The Visit ? Spoilers to follow!

Toward the end of The Visit , the kids discover that the elderly couple with whom they're staying are not actually their grandparents . Instead, they are two escaped mental patients who murdered their actual grandparents and took their place. The kids discover the truth after finding their real grandparents' corpses and mental institution uniforms in the basement of the house. It's a twist ending for sure, since for awhile, it seems there may be a supernatural explanation for what's going on, but anyone familiar with Shyamalan's work shouldn't be too surprised. The director has a reputation for his movies' twist endings , so here are the other times he's pulled the rug out from under fans. Again, spoilers ahead.

The Sixth Sense

Shyamalan's first and best-known twist comes from this Oscar-nominated film where Bruce Willis was dead the whole time. You obviously already knew that because everyone knows that , so I'm moving on to the next movie.

Unbreakable

Expectations were high for Shyamalan's first film after The Sixth Sense , and Unbreakable didn't disappoint. Bruce Willis returns, this time as David, a seemingly ordinary man who discovers he has superhuman powers with the help of comic shop owner Elijah (Samuel L. Jackson). The twist comes when David uncovers that Elijah is in actuality a villain, and has killed countless people in his quest to find David, whom he believes to be, as title suggests, unbreakable. Like The Sixth Sense , this is a movie where the twist was totally justified and in many ways, it made the film.

This alien invasion thriller, starring Mel Gibson as minister Graham Hess, was the first of Shyamalan's films where the twist felt a little forced. The director clearly knew he had a reputation to live up to with his ending, but the twist here ended up being the most criticized aspect of the film. Throughout the movie, Hess's daughter leaves glasses of water all around her house. Concurrently, Hess often recites his dying wife's last words to him, "Tell Merrill (Graham's brother) to swing away." Both of these plot points come into play at the end of the film, when they learn the aliens' weakness is water. Since they happen to have plenty of just that lying around the house, Merrill "swings away" with a baseball bat to knock glasses of water into the aliens. The buildup was great, though, and the twist didn't really take away anything from the movie — it just felt a little shoehorned in.

The Village

Speaking of twists taking away something from a movie. I'm not gonna lie, The Village remains the most disappointed I've ever been in a movie theater. I was a big Shyamalan fan and was super excited for The Village , but the twist left me feeling cheated. The entire movie takes place in a 19th century village surrounded by woods, woods that are stalked by supernatural monsters that won't let the villagers leave. Sounds cool, right? And it was... right up until the end when viewers learn that the village actually existed in a patch of woods in modern times and was created to shield themselves from the scary modern world. Oh, and the monsters are fake. The ending negated all of the suspense and drama the film had produced and gave critics and audiences alike the impression that Shyamalan was more interested in pulling one over on filmgoers than entertaining them.

The Happening

Possibly Shyamalan's worst reviewed film (17 percent on Rotten Tomatoes), The Happening features a toxin in the air that's causing mass suicides. Scary stuff. Then the twist comes: Plants are releasing the toxin to kill humans as a means of self defense. That's right, plants. This results in a lot of Mark Wahlberg running from the wind and trying to reason with plants, which is as funny as it sounds. The twist happens much earlier in this film than in Shyamalan's other offerings, but in this case he may have been better served saving it for the end.

As you can see, Shyamalan has had varied success with the twists he inserts into his films, and it's not clear yet how fans will react to the twist in The Visit . But hey, whatever the reception is, at least the grandparents aren't plants!

Images: Universal Pictures

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Grandparents' Visitation Rights

Divorce, family misunderstandings strain loving relationships with grandchildren.

by Amy Goyer, May 28, 2009

What is happening to American families? It used to be unusual to hear about families that were splintered, keeping grandparents and grandchildren separated. Now it is the most common challenge, from what grandparents tell me. These grandparents are in every state and at every socioeconomic level, and each of their situations is unique. But they have one thing in common: They are heartbroken to be kept away from their grandchildren.

• Do Grandparents Have the Legal Right to See their Grandchildren? Read
• Grandparents Ride Seesaw Over Visitation Rights. Read
• Grandparents Fortify Families of Autistic Kids. Read

"They withhold my grandkids, which is one of the most painful things I have experienced."

Families develop strained relationships for many reasons. Some parents and grandparents have sudden disagreements and make snap decisions to "withhold" visits with grandchildren. I've heard from grandparents who were stunned and confused when, after expressing an opinion different from their grandchildren’s parents on something they thought was a minor issue, they got an unexpectedly negative reaction. The next thing the grandparents knew, they were not allowed to see the children. Often the grandparents are not sure what they should have done differently, and the lines of communication are simply cut off from the other end.

One young mother asked me, "If my daughter's grandmother doesn't agree with my decisions as a parent, should she be allowed to see her grandchild?" She was considering using her daughter as a means to punish the grandmother for disagreeing with her. In that situation, who’s really punished? A child deserves to have as many loving adults in her life as possible. Children are not pawns, and neither grandparents nor parents should use them as such.

"My son and his wife divorced, and she will not let me see my grandson. Is this healthy for him? I was very close to my grandson. "

Some families have long-term communication problems or control and boundary issues. In some cases, there may be substance abuse or other chronic problems among the generations. Quite often, there has been a change in the family, such as divorce or a relationship breakup, or the death of a parent. Most often, I hear from paternal grandparents who cannot see their grandchildren because their current or ex-daughter-in-law does not want them to. Unfortunately, when parents break up, often the extended family gets shut out as well.

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"I raised my granddaughter the first four years of her life. She is now seven, and her mom won't let me see her or call. I'm afraid she (my granddaughter) will feel abandoned."

Some of the most striking cases are situations where grandparents have actually raised their grandchildren for years, and then suddenly, the parent reenters the picture, takes the grandchildren away, and won't allow the children to see their grandparents. When children have bonded with a grandparent as their sole care provider, the sudden and/or prolonged separation from the adult they depended upon can cause irreparable damage. Unfortunately, too often, the effect on grandchildren who can't see their grandparents is not taken into account. It seems to be all about the relationship between the parent and the grandparent—and the child is caught in the middle.

"I have three grandchildren I am not allowed to see, communicate with, or give presents to, due to the parents. I am worried sick about what this is doing to the kids. We are so close. What can I do? Are there grandparent's rights? This is breaking my heart, and I want to know what I need to do to be able to legally see my three grandchildren.  Can they do this to me?"

No grandparents have automatic legal "rights" to see or "visit" their grandchildren. But in some states, they may have rights to petition the court for visitation in certain situations—frequently in the case of families separated by events such as divorce, incarceration, or the death of a parent. In states that do allow grandparents to petition for visitation, the standard for determining whether or not visitation is awarded varies. Some states ask grandparents to prove that it is in the "best interest of the child" to have a relationship with them. Other states require grandparents to prove it will "harm" the child if they do not have a relationship. Proving harm is much harder than proving that it is in the best interest of the child to see grandparents. Unfortunately, there are also states that don't allow grandparents to petition the court for visitation with grandchildren under any circumstances. While some grandparents do obtain court-ordered visitation arrangements with their grandchildren, most do not. "I miss my grandchildren so very much. My heart breaks a little more each day. I feel so empty inside. I'm 62, and tomorrow isn't promised. How can I break the ice and heal this family before it's too late?" Addressing family discord when it starts is probably the most important step to preventing a situation in which grandparents and grandchildren are separated. Healing small disagreements and family rifts before they fester and become full-blown breaks is essential. Sometimes all parties in a disagreement need to step up to the plate as adults, swallow their pride, and compromise. It can be very hard to do, but in these situations, you have the greatest motivation of all: the love of a child. Tips for Families and Grandparents

• Focus on effective communication. Many family disagreements are simply a result of miscommunication and damaged relationships. Look for counseling, workshops, or support groups that help you improve your communication skills so you can get the desired results.
• Consider family counseling. Approach it with a "we're all in this together" attitude and a willingness to learn and compromise. You can find a referral for a therapist by visiting www.psychologytoday.com or the online Mental Health Locator Service established by the U.S. Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. For help finding a mental health agency in your local community where you might find free or low-cost services, call the Mental Health Information Center, toll-free, at 800-789-2647.
• Connect with other grandparents. Sometimes it helps just to know you are not alone and to learn from other grandparents. Get involved in the AARP Online Community Group " Visitation With Grandchildren ."
• Try mediation before court. The adversarial nature of taking a family member to court can tear families apart and cause waves of damaged relationships. Most grandparents want to avoid going that far. Family counseling and mediation services are an option that families can consider when they can't come to agreement on their own. To find a trained family mediator in your area, visit www.mediate.com .
• Find legal information and local legal assistance at www.findlegalhelp.org , a site on which the American Bar Association (ABA) posts information about finding a lawyer and finding legal information—including how to handle a legal issue yourself ("pro se," or "self help") or how to find free or low-cost legal assistance. You can also contact the ABA by calling 312-988-5000 or by e-mailing [email protected] .  The ABA also has tables summarizing all the states’ visitation laws .

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grandparents

If nanna and pop pop are not the real grandparents then who are they? And who are their real grandparents ? And how did they end up with the wrong people?

Ok, so i know this is weird because this answer is 4 to 5 years from when you asked this question. But, what happened is the real grandparents were working at the asylum. and the fake grandparents broke out and went to there house, knowing they had kids. They killed the real grandparents with the hammer. Hitting them a lot in the skull in face. and so when they came over, they got the wrong grandparents. and the mother did not know because the grandma put batter on the camera so she could not see. she called it an "accident". ok, so nana and pop pop are escaped convicts from the asylum who are insane and see things and do weird things. there real grandparents were killed by the mental convicts who escaped from the asylum. and they ended up with them because they basically killed the real grandparents and put them inside the box and hid their asylum suits in there too and changed into the real grandparents clothing. Boom!

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What does a visit from Grandma mean to you?

When Grandma comes to visit do you enjoy a special tradition? Does she bring you a treat or a present? Maybe you have a favorite card game or recipe you prepare together. Often, the relationship between a grandparent and grandchild is a special bond, filled with quality time and activties. Grandmas seem to have that little bit of extra time and life experience to share that a busy parent might not. 

Grandmas everywhere are special and   all over the world we use different names for grandma .  What do you call your grandma?

Nana, Bubbe (Yiddish), Meemaw, Gammy, GiGi, Oma (German), Grandmere -less formal Mamie (French), Mimi, Granny, Meme, Abuela (Spanish), NaiNai (Chinese), Gram or Grandma. 

Here are some of my favorite books about grandmas.  Make sure to check the catalog for even more great books about grandmas. 

Dear Grandma 

Susanna Leonard Hill- author. John Joseph- illustrator.

There's no one else quite like grandma . And now, every child can express their love and celebrate their special bond with Dear Grandma , an enchanting picture book perfect for all ages! Filled with heartfelt text, adorable illustrations, and space to write or draw a special message to grandma, this book makes the perfect read-aloud experience and will be a wonderful keepsake for years to come! - Goodreads-2021.

Michelle Sterling- author. Aaron Asis- illustrator.

For one young girl, summer is the season of no school, of days spent at the pool, and of picking golden limes off the trees. But summer doesn't start until her Lola- her grandmother from the Phillipines comes for her annual visit. When Lola visits, the whole family gathers to cook, eat, and share in their happiness of another season spent together.

 Lola fills the house with the aroma of mango jam, funny stories of baking mishaps, and her quiet, sweet singing in Tagalog. And in turn, her granddaughter brings Lola to the beach, to view fireworks at the park, and catch fish at their lake. Goodreads-2021.

My Mindful Walk with Grandma 

Sheri Mabry- author. Wazza Pink- illustrator.

When a girl walks through the woods with her grandma , she's so excited about reaching their destination that she misses out on what's around her. But with Grandma's help, she learns how to breathe, be peaceful, and notice the little surprises along the way. Find mindfulness in nature through this gentle story. Goodreads-2020.

Bindu's Bindis 

Supriya Kelkar- author. Parvati Pillai- illustrator.

This charming picture book is about a little girl who loves her bindis(and the many creative shapes they come in)! The bindis are also a connection to her Nani who lives in India. When Nani comes to visit Bindu and brings bindis to her, it is just in time to wear something new to the school talent show. Bindu and Nani work together to shine their brightnest and embrace their sparkle, even when they stand out from the crowd.- Goodreads-2021.

Molly Beth Griffin- author. Maribel Lechuga- illustrator.                                    

Moving in with Gram is a big change for Lily. She's not happy about living in the middle of nowhere in empty old Iowa. But when Gram suggests they look for ten beautiful things during their road trip to Lily's new home, Lily finds more and more to appreciate along the way.

Ten Beautiful Things leaves the exact cause of Lily's move ambiguous, making it perfect for anyone helping a child navigate change, whether it be the loss of a parent, entering or leaving a foster home, or moving. Goodreads-2020.

Vanessa Brantley-Newton- author & illustrator.

When Grandma Mimi comes to visit, she always brings warm hugs, sweet treats...and her purse. You never know what she'll have in there--fancy jewelry, tokens from around the world, or something special just for her granddaughter. It might look like a normal bag from the outside, but Mimi and her granddaughter know that it's pure magic!

In this adorable, ode to visits from grandma, Newton shows how an ordinary day can become extraordinary. Goodreads-2018.

Dave Eggers- author. Woodrow White- illustrator.

What do you do when your grandma wants to become a jaguar? You become a jaguar, too. When she runs through the jungle and over mountains, you should too. When she drinks from moonlit lakes, you should, too. And when it's time to return home and school... Well your grandmother will explain everything.

A vivid celebration of imagination and adventure and mysteries our elders embody. Publisher-2021.

Birdie's Beauty Parlor 

Lee Merrill Byrd- author. Francisco Delgado- illustrator.

If your grandmother looks tired, it's time for a do-over! The old gal will need to be lying down because it has a lot of moving parts- chinney-chin-chin hair removal, face powder dumps, long stretches of blush, slashes of lipstick and eye shadow. Earings, scarves, the works! birdie knows best: she owns that beauty parlor! Goodreads-2018.

Nana Akua goes to School 

Tricia Elam Walker- author. April Harrison- illustrator.

In this moving story that celebrates cultural diversity, a shy girl brings her West African grandmother-whose face bears traditional tribal markings-to meet her classmates. Zura's Nana , who is her favorite person in the world, looks a little different from other grandmas. Nana Akua was raised in Ghana, and, following an old West African tradition, has traibal markings on her face.  

This book is a reminder that what makes us different is also what makes us special.  Goodreads-2020.

Carole Lexa Schaefer-author. Pierr Morgan- illustrator.

Explore world languages and different cultures as we see--and hear- grandmothers' chickens in the United States, Mexico, Kenya, Japan, India and France, in this delightful book that introduces children to cultural diversity.

A great read aloud full of onomatopoeia and simple international vocabulary. Bright, charming illustrations show multigenerational families and chickens in different enviroments. Universal is the special relationships grandmothers have with grandchildren all over the world. Publisher-2021.

And a Cat from Carmel Market 

Alyssa Stin Capucilli- author. Rotem Teplow- illustrator. 

Bubbe goes to the outdoor Carmel Market in Tel-Aviv to shop for Shabbat, but in addition to buying the challah, candles, chicken, tablecloth, flowers, and other necessities, she also finds herself coming home with lots of stray cats. The cats' howling begins to disrupt the lovely Shabbat dinner she has planned, but they all calm down once Bubbe lights the Shabbat candles. Goodreads-2021.

Dance Like a Leaf

A. J. Leaf- author. Claudia Navarro- illustrator.

As her grandmother's health declines, a young girl begins to lovingly take the lead in their cozy shared autumn traditions. Poetic prose paired with evocative illustrations make for a beautiful celebration of life and introduction to the death of a loved one. Goodreads-2020.

Enjoy your Grandma!

Bonnie Sherr Klein- author. Elisabeth Eudes-Pascal- illustrator.

Kate is upset when grandma (Bubbie) gets a motorized scooter, will Bubbie still be Bubbie in that scooter? Kate slowly warms to the scooter after she sees what a good friend it is to Bubbie. And shopping at Granville Island turns our to be so much fun! Her little brother Nate loves the scooter's bell and whistles, and Kate makes new friends on their joyous outing. Goodreads-2021.

Blanca Gomes- author & illustrator. 

On a snowy day, a grandmother and grandchild find an injured bird. They take it home and care for it until it can fly around the living room. It is fantastic-just like everything at Abuela's house! But a fantastic moment is also bittersweet, for the little bird's recovery means that it's time to let it fly free. Drawing inspiration from a formative childhood experince, Gomes crafts a deceptivley simple story that is morally and emotionally resonant and is brimming with love, wonder, and a deep respect for the natural world. Goodreads-2021.

Taro Gomi- author & illustrator. 

Yumi and her grandmother have the same great idea: they want to see each other. So they each head out to do just that, only to completely miss each other along the way! No problem-they'll just head back home and wait for the other to return. The trouble is that they have the same great idea-again-resulting in the ultimate missed connection! Will this duo ever find each other?  Goodreads-2018.

Memory Jars

Vera Brosgol- author.

Freda is devasted when she can't eat all the delicious blueberries she's picked. She has to wait a whole year before they're back, and she doesn't want to lose them! Then Gran reminds her that they can save blueberries in a jar, as jam. So Freda begins to save all her favorite things. But it turns out that saving everything also means she can't enjoy anything, and Freda realizes that some things are best saved as memories. Goodreads-2021.

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6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness

Tom Merton / Getty Images

Physical Proximity to Grandchildren

Frequency of contact with grandchildren.

• Grandparents' Role in the Family

Family Expectations

Emotional bonding with grandchildren, reaching a consensus on values.

Grandparents often wonder at what age their grandchildren may lose interest in them. This phenomenon varies quite a bit from child to child. However, it mimics the common experience of many parents as kids gain autonomy and get increasingly interested in their friends. Generally, at around age 10 into their teen years, some kids start drifting away from their grandparents.

But there are things you can do to keep your relationship solid. In fact, some grandparents enjoy close relationships with their grandchildren as they grow up. There are many varied circumstances, personality traits, and lifestyle factors that influence these pivotal relationships. However, research has found some clear patterns that help to determine why some grandparents are closer to their grandchildren than others.

Social psychologists Merril Silverstein and Vern L. Bengtson, among others, have studied the concept that they call "intergenerational solidarity." They identify six key factors that influence this "solidarity" or relationship closeness. Understanding these factors can help you foster a closeness with your grandchild that's more likely to last.

While some of these factors are beyond our control, others are not. Awareness of the overarching components of the grandparent-grandchild relationship can help you focus on what you can influence to build closer bonds.

Not surprisingly, geographic closeness is one of the strongest predictors of a close relationship between grandparents and grandchildren . This may be out of the control of some grandparents, although some have demonstrated a willingness to move to be close to their grandchildren.

Another way to develop closeness is to visit frequently, if possible. But some grandparents' health and financial status can limit travel. Geographical distance isn't terribly important for grandparents who are fit, healthy, and financially able to afford the cost of frequent trips to see grandchildren .

Although there is no substitute for face-to-face interaction, technology has made it easier to build a relationship with grandchildren across the miles. Many grandparents visit with their grandchildren daily or weekly via FaceTime, Skype, or other video chat platforms.

Older grandchildren often appreciate text messages, as long as they are not overly frequent. Social networking sites are also good for staying in touch with tweens , teens, and young adult grandchildren. The bottom line is that loving grandparents can find a way to bridge the distance, even if they can't be there in person.

Grandparents who stay in frequent contact with their grandchildren have closer relationships, but physical distance isn't the only obstacle to contact. Parental divorce commonly has a drastic effect on contact between grandchildren and grandparents. Often contact increases between the custodial parent and their parents, and contact with grandchildren increases, too.

However, the parents of the non-custodial parent frequently find their contact with grandchildren greatly reduced. Since mothers more often receive physical custody, sometimes maternal grandparents have greater opportunities for time with their grandchildren after a divorce, while paternal grandparents may have a reduced role.

Today, more fathers are winning custody, and joint custody is on the rise. Perhaps in the future, divorce will not affect the grandparent-grandchild relationship as radically as it often does today.

Grandparents' Role Within the Family

When grandparents provide child care for grandchildren or become actual or surrogate parents to their grandchildren, they have a greater than average opportunity to bond. Some grandparents may take more of a parental role rather than functioning as a typical grandparent.

Interestingly, research shows that it is the regular presence of grandparents that results in closeness, rather than the functions that they perform. Whether you are a grandparent who is a guardian to your grandchildren, babysits them, mainly plays with them, or takes them on outings, you can be close to your grandchildren.

Studies show that families that expect strong relationships between the generations are more likely to have them. That's because children are taught from an early age that family members share obligations. Those obligations may include caregiving for children and for older people, financial assistance, and general sharing of tasks. And the assistance flows in both directions—from younger to older and from older to younger.

Families that have this type of culture are more likely to demonstrate strong grandparent-grandchild bonds than families in which individuality and independence top the list of values. Such families also adopt practices that keep extended families close, such as regularly sharing meals.

Although grandparents and grandchildren often report mutual closeness, grandparents may report a greater degree of closeness than the younger generation. That's just natural.

When families work as they should, children are closest to their parents and siblings. Grandparents usually occupy their second circle or tier of emotional proximity. As children grow, their circles enlarge, and their peers become vitally important to them. Sometimes, grandparents may be further displaced.

Grandparents, on the other hand, often live in a world of shrinking circles as their peers and older relatives die, move away, or suffer from serious health issues. Their children and grandchildren may come to occupy a larger space in their lives.

What is important, however, is that grandparents who establish early emotional bonds with grandchildren will find that those bonds last. Such bonds usually survive the passage of years and the many changes that both generations go through.

Research also shows that the middle generation is of vital importance in determining closeness. When grandparents and their adult children are close, closeness with grandchildren tends to come more naturally and easily.

Grandchildren often get their early values from parents and grandparents. As they mature, however, they are more likely to develop their own set of values. Families are closest when they share values, but few families will ever be in total agreement across generations.

Researchers say a generation gap sometimes develops when younger generations find older generations lacking in social tolerance and even prone to hypocrisy. Grandparents certainly do not need to abandon their values and standards, but a willingness to listen to the younger generation can go a long way. And grandparents should be sure that they practice what they preach.

Just knowing what makes a great grandparent-grandchild relationship won't magically improve family bonds or solve every issue. Of course, there are many personal and family dynamic issues at play. If a grandparent has lost contact with their grandchildren or has deep-seated family conflicts, more interventions or family therapy may be needed to restore these relationships.

A Word From Verywell

Remember that although all of these six factors can have a big influence on grandparent-grandchild closeness, the attitude of the grandparents is the most important one. And while research shows that devotion to one's grandparents isn't always a given, the grandparent-grandchild relationship can thrive when the effort is put in to build and sustain it.

In other words, grandchildren don't automatically value their elders. Instead, they learn to value their individual grandparents and the way they occupy that role. Ultimately, it is the grandparent who is determined to build a strong and lasting relationship with grandchildren who is most likely to succeed.

Timonen V, Conlon C, Scharf T, Carney G. Family, state, class and solidarity: Re-conceptualising intergenerational solidarity through the grounded theory approach .  Eur J Ageing . 2013;10(3):171-179. doi:10.1007/s10433-013-0272-x

Bengtson VL, Oyama PS. Intergenerational solidarity and conflict . In: Cruz-Saco MA, Zelenev S, eds. Intergenerational Solidarity . Palgrave Macmillan US; 2010:35-52. doi:10.1057/9780230115484_3

Dunifon R, Bajracharya A. The role of grandparents in the lives of youth .  J Fam Issues . 2012;33(9):1168–1194. doi:10.1177/0192513X12444271

Moffatt K, David J, Baecker RM. Connecting grandparents and grandchildren . In: Neustaedter C, Harrison S, Sellen A, eds.  Connecting Families . Springer London; 2013:173-193. doi:10.1007/978-1-4471-4192-1_10

Attar-Schwartz S, Fuller-Thomson E. Adolescents' closeness to paternal grandmothers in the face of parents' divorce . Child Youth Serv Rev . 2017;77:118-26. doi:10.1016/j.childyouth.2017.04.008

Doyle M, O’Dywer C, Timonen V. “How can you just cut off a whole side of the family and say move on?” The reshaping of paternal grandparent‐grandchild relationships following divorce or separation in the middle generation . Family Rel . 2010;59(5):587-98. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2010.00625.x

Cancian M, Meyer DR, Brown PR, Cook ST. Who gets custody now? Dramatic changes in children's living arrangements after divorce . Demography . 2014;51(4):1381-96. doi:10.1007/s13524-014-0307-8

Xu L, Silverstein M, Chi I. Emotional closeness between grandparents and grandchildren in rural China: The mediating role of the middle generation . J Intergen Rel . 2014;12(3):226-40. doi:10.1080/15350770.2014.929936

Hakoyama M, MaloneBeach EE. Predictors of grandparent–grandchild closeness: An ecological perspective . J Intergen Rel . 2013;11(1):32-49. doi:10.1080/15350770.2013.753834

Blundon A. The role of grandparents . In: Singh A, Devine M, eds.  Rural Transformation and Newfoundland and Labrador Diaspora . SensePublishers; 2013:243-250. doi:10.1007/978-94-6209-302-7_21

Monserud MA. Continuity and change in grandchildren's closeness to grandparents: Consequences of changing intergenerational ties .  Marriage Fam Rev . 2010;46(5):366–388. doi:10.1080/01494929.2010.528320

Hlebovy S, Waithaka AG, Gitimu PN. Grandparent-adult grandchild relationships: Perspective of attachment among college students . Int J Social Sci Hum Res. 2016;4(1):26-34.

Augustine ME, Stifter CA. Temperament, parenting, and moral development: specificity of behavior and context .  Soc Dev . 2015;24(2):285-303. doi:10.1111/sode.12092

Janmaat JG, Keating A. Are today’s youth more tolerant? Trends in tolerance among young people in Britain .  Ethnicities. 2019;19(1):44–65. doi:10.1177/1468796817723682

Mansson DH, Myers SA, Turner LH. Relational maintenance behaviors in the grandchild–grandparent relationship . Comm Res Rep . 2010;27(1):68-79. doi:10.1080/08824090903526521

Timonen V, Arber S. A new look at grandparenting . In: Timonen V, Arber S, eds. Contemporary Grandparenting: Changing Family Relationships in Global Contexts . Policy Press. 2012:1-27. doi:10.2307/j.ctt9qgrr8.5

By Susan Adcox Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild.

This Toddler’s Reaction To A Visit From Grandma Is Too Precious!

T here’s nothing more adorable than the pure, unadulterated excitement of a small child. One Instagram video is going viral for capturing one of these unique moments of joy! Mom Liz K has shared the most precious footage of her toddler screaming with delight when Grandma arrives for a visit, and the internet can barely handle the cuteness. The clip has gotten over 5 million views!

“Find someone that freaks out when they see you the way she does when she sees her grandma,” Liz joked in her video text. In the caption, she added, “That’s grandma’s baby.”

“You just know that grandma is the sweetest woman,” wrote one commenter.

Watch the video below to see how much this toddler loves her grandma!

You can find the source of this story’s featured image here .

The post This Toddler’s Reaction To A Visit From Grandma Is Too Precious! appeared first on InspireMore .

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A Visit From Grandma and Grandpa (Little Golden Book) Hardcover – March 26, 1990

• Language English
• Publisher Golden Books
• Publication date March 26, 1990
• ISBN-10 030710155X
• ISBN-13 978-0307101556
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• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Golden Books (March 26, 1990)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 030710155X
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0307101556
• Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.24 ounces
• #330,320 in Children's Books (Books)

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Catherine kenworthy.

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Idaho woman, 85, fatally shot home intruder in 'heroic' act of self-defense

An 85-year-old Idaho woman shot and killed an intruder in her home in what a county prosecutor called "one of the most heroic acts of self-preservation I have ever heard of."

Bingham County Prosecutor Ryan Jolley said in a case review that the woman, identified Wednesday as Christine Jenneiahn, acted in self-defense and ruled it was a case of justifiable homicide.

"That Christine survived this encounter is truly incredible," Jolley wrote. "Her grit, determination, and will to live appear to be what saved her that night."

According to the review, posted on Facebook by the Bingham County Sheriff's Office, an intruder, identified as Derek Condon, broke into Jenneiahn's home at around 2 a.m. on March 13. Jenneiahn told prosecutors she was asleep in her Bingham County home when she was awakened by an intruder who was wearing a military jacket and black ski mask and was pointing a gun and a flashlight at her.

She said her disabled son was also home.

The review says Condon most likely hit Jenneiahn in her head while she was in bed, because Jenneiahn said she'd been hit and because investigators found blood on her pillow and on her bedroom floor.

Condon then handcuffed Jenneiahn and took her to the living room at gunpoint, according to the review. There, he handcuffed her to a wooden chair and asked about her valuables. When she said she didn't have much, he put his gun to her head, the review said.

According to the review, Jenneiahn told Condon she had two safes downstairs. He left her handcuffed in the living room as he looked through several rooms of her home in search of her valuables, prosecutors said.

"At some point," the review says, "he discovered that Christine's son was also in the home and became angry at Christine for not telling him."

Condon started to make numerous threats that he wanted to kill Jenneiahn, according to the review.

While Condon was searching downstairs, she dragged the wooden chair to which she was handcuffed into her bedroom and grabbed her .357 Magnum revolver from under her pillow, the review says. Back in the living room, Jenneiahn hid the gun between the armrest and a cushion as she "waited to see what Condon did next."

"Christine's memory of exactly what occurred next remains somewhat unclear," according to the review.

Jenneiahn told prosecutors that at some point, when Condon returned to the living room after having rummaged through her home, he again threatened to kill her.

"She ultimately made the decision that it was 'now or never' and drew her concealed 357 magnum and engaged Condon striking him with both her shots," the review says.

Condon returned fire, striking Jenneiahn multiple times in her abdomen, a leg, an arm and her chest with a 9 mm pistol, according to the review. Condon went to the kitchen, where he died from the gunshot wounds.

Jenneiahn, still handcuffed, fell over and remained on the floor for about 10 hours until her son came upstairs in the late morning and gave her a phone to call 911. Deputies responded at about 12:17 p.m., the review says.

EastIdahoNews.com reported that Jenneiahn was taken to Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center in Idaho Falls. She has been released and is recovering, it reported.

Subsequent investigation turned up a broken window in the back of the residence and a screwdriver near where Condon broke in, according to the review. On his body, Condon had a lock pick set, his car key, a handcuff key and a bag filled with items stolen from the home.

Condon's car was also found near the home, according to the review, and a set of footprints leading from the vehicle in the direction of the home was discovered.

Based on Idaho's self-defense law, which states, "No person in this state shall be placed in legal jeopardy of any kind whatsoever for protecting himself," Jolley ruled the killing justifiable.

"This case presents an easy analysis of self-defense and justifiable homicide," Jolley wrote. "It also presents one of the most heroic acts of self-preservation I have ever heard of."

He added: "Absent a clear attempt by Condon to retreat from the residence or surrender, which based on the evidence clearly did not occur, Christine was justified in taking any and all means necessary to defend herself and her son that night."

Rebecca Cohen is a breaking news reporter for NBC News.

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The life and music of Amy Winehouse, through the journey of adolescence to adulthood and the creation of one of the best-selling albums of our time. The life and music of Amy Winehouse, through the journey of adolescence to adulthood and the creation of one of the best-selling albums of our time. The life and music of Amy Winehouse, through the journey of adolescence to adulthood and the creation of one of the best-selling albums of our time.

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• Trivia Marisa Abela did all the singing in this film herself. She trained extensively to mimic Amy Winehouse 's vocals.

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• Runtime 2 hours 2 minutes

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