guilt trip clothing

Subscribe to be the first to hear about our exclusive offers and latest arrivals.

INFORMATION

Get in touch.

2880 Bergey Rd, Suite T

Hatfield, PA 19440

• © 2024, Cold Cuts Merch
• Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.

Your Account

• Account Settings
• Must Have It

- SAME DAY LOCAL PICK UP AVAILABLE + FREE SHIPPING ALL ORDERS $75+ ♥️

Item added to your cart

Shop UrGuiltTrip

Guilt Trip Hoodie

Couldn't load pickup availability

• Exclusive Guilt Trip Merch 
• Order true to size,  for oversized fit order size up!
• Model is wearing size  Small  in both hoodie & sweatpants. Height: 5'2
• Guilt Trip Hoodie with logo on upper left side & back side on lower back
• Logo on sweatpants on left side pocket area.
• Can be worn as a set, or separate. 
• Colors: Beige / Black 
• In Stock While Supplies Last.
• Once SOLD OUT, same color may not be available for restock. 

ALL SALES ARE FINAL

Shipping & Returns

Care instructions.

Wash on cold, HANG DRY ONLY

• Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
• Opens in a new window.

• 🇦🇪 United Arab Emirates Dirham AED د.إ
• 🇦🇱 Albanian Lek ALL L
• 🇦🇴 Angolan Kwanza AOA Kz
• 🇦🇺 Australian Dollar AUD $
• 🇨🇦 Canadian Dollar CAD $
• 🇨🇭 Swiss Franc CHF CHF
• 🇨🇱 Chilean Peso CLP $
• 🇨🇿 Czech Koruna CZK Kč
• 🇩🇰 Danish Krone DKK kr.
• 🇩🇴 Dominican Peso DOP $
• 🇪🇺 Euro EUR €
• 🇬🇧 British Pound GBP £
• 🇭🇰 Hong Kong Dollar HKD $
• 🇭🇺 Hungarian Forint HUF Ft
• 🇮🇱 Israeli New Sheqel ILS ₪
• 🇮🇸 Icelandic Króna ISK kr
• 🇯🇵 Japanese Yen JPY ¥
• 🇰🇷 South Korean Won KRW ₩
• 🇰🇾 Cayman Islands Dollar KYD $
• 🇲🇽 Mexican Peso MXN $
• 🇲🇾 Malaysian Ringgit MYR RM
• 🇲🇿 Mozambican Metical MZN MTn
• 🇳🇬 Nigerian Naira NGN ₦
• 🇳🇴 Norwegian Krone NOK kr
• 🇳🇿 New Zealand Dollar NZD $
• 🇵🇪 Peruvian Sol PEN S/.
• 🇵🇭 Philippine Peso PHP ₱
• 🇵🇱 Polish Złoty PLN zł
• 🇶🇦 Qatari Riyal QAR ر.ق
• 🇷🇴 Romanian Leu RON Lei
• 🇷🇺 Russian Ruble RUB ₽
• 🇸🇦 Saudi Riyal SAR ر.س
• 🇸🇨 Seychellois Rupee SCR ₨
• 🇸🇪 Swedish Krona SEK kr
• 🇸🇬 Singapore Dollar SGD $
• 🇺🇸 United States Dollar USD $
• 🇿🇦 South African Rand ZAR R
• Recently viewed
• Sign In Sign Up Dashboard My orders My Info Notifications Notify Me List Gift Cards
• 0 My favorites

Your bag is empty.

Have an account? Sign in to view your bag

• Navigation menu

--title-- --title--

• --link-label--

Fashion Nova

Download the app to shop and checkout faster.

• Help Center
• Track Order
• Shipping Info
• Want to Collab?

Quick Links

• Check Gift Card Balance
• Privacy Policy
• Terms of Service
• CA Supply Chains Act

women-new-in

women-clothing

women-dresses

women-matching-sets

women-bottoms

women-jeans

women-jumpsuits-rompers

women-shoes

women-accessories

women-lingerie-sleep

women-activewear

women-nova-luxe

curve-new-in

curve-clothing

curve-dresses

curve-matching-sets

curve-bottoms

curve-jeans

curve-jumpsuits-rompers

curve-shoes

curve-accessories

curve-lingerie-sleep

curve-activewear

men-clothing

men-everyday-essentials

men-graphics

men-bottoms

men-hoodies-sweats

men-accessories

Define a menu with kids-new-in

kids-clothing

Define a menu with kids-sale

beauty-novabeauty

beauty-makeup

beauty-hair

Define a menu with beauty-nails

Define a menu with beauty-body

beauty-skincare

Guilt Trip Maxi Dress - Black

Coming soon - Get notified

Just a few left. Order soon.

Get it by   with 1-Day Shipping

Free Shipping ($125+) *

• Available In Black And Nude.
• Heavy Ribbed Maxi Dress
• Bestie Guilt Trip Mini Dress
• Self: 89% Rayon 11% Spandex
• Contrast: 96% Polyester 4% Spandex

With limited exceptions, valid returns are refunded in the form of store credit. Damaged/defective items will be subject to an exchange if in stock.

All store credit, refunds, and/or exchanges that are due will be issued within 48 hours after the return is processed.

All final sale items are marked as such and cannot be returned for store credit.

You can find additional information about our Return Policy HERE .

See 20+ similar styles

Goes well with, compare similar styles, shipping details.

Estimated number of business days it takes until you will receive your order after placing it on the website. Business days do not include Saturdays, Sundays, or US holidays. This time includes processing and in-transit time for your order. For certain extended delivery zip codes, the order may arrive outside of the estimated timeframe. During holiday periods and certain promotional events, customers can expect an additional 3-5 days of processing time.

**Starts when your order has been shipped, and does not include standard processing time of up to 5 business days. Business days do not include Saturdays, Sundays, or US Holidays. For information on anticipated delivery (inclusive of processing and transit times), please refer to our   Shipping Policies .

***Orders must equal or exceed the amount shown after all discounts and coupons have been applied to qualify for the promotion.

**Starts when your order has been shipped, and does not include standard processing time of up to 5 business days. Business days do not include Saturdays, Sundays, or US Holidays. For information on anticipated delivery (inclusive of processing and transit times), please refer to our   Shipping Policies .

**Starts when your order has been shipped, and does not include standard processing time of up to 5 business days. Business days do not include Saturdays, Sundays, or US Holidays. For information on anticipated delivery (inclusive of processing and transit times), please refer to our Shipping Policies .

Same Day Delivery is only available in select zip codes in the Los Angeles Area; please check the list of zip codes to determine your eligibility.

Orders placed before 12pm PT will be delivered on the same day by 8pm PT. Orders placed after 12pm PT on Sunday-Thursday will be delivered by 4pm PT the following day; orders placed after 12pm PT on Friday and Saturday will be delivered by 8pm PT the following day.

By selecting "Same Day Delivery (Los Angeles Area Only, Order by 12pm PT)" you agree to receive text messages and telephone calls regarding delivery of your order. Delivery updates will be sent by SMS or email and you will be notified once your order is en route.

List of Eligible Zip Codes 90001 90002 90003 90004 90005 90006 90007 90008 90011 90012 90013 90014 90015 90016 90017 90018 90019 90020 90021 90022 90023 90024 90025 90026 90027 90028 90029 90031 90032 90033 90034 90035 90036 90037 90038 90039 90040 90041 90042 90043 90044 90045 90046 90047 90048 90049 90056 90057 90058 90059 90061 90062 90063 90064 90065 90066 90067 90068 90069 90071 90073 90077 90089 90094 90095 90201 90210 90211 90212 90220 90221 90222 90230 90232 90240 90241 90242 90245 90247 90248 90249 90250 90254 90255 90260 90262 90263 90266 90270 90272 90274 90275 90277 90278 90280 90290 90291 90292 90293 90301 90302 90303 90304 90305 90401 90402 90403 90404 90405 90501 90502 90503 90504 90505 90506 90601 90602 90603 90604 90605 90606 90620 90621 90623 90630 90631 90638 90639 90640 90650 90660 90670 90680 90701 90703 90706 90710 90712 90713 90715 90716 90717 90720 90723 90731 90732 90740 90742 90743 90744 90745 90746 90747 90755 90802 90803 90804 90805 90806 90807 90808 90810 90813 90814 90815 90840 91001 91006 91007 91008 91010 91011 91016 91020 91024 91030 91040 91042 91101 91103 91104 91105 91106 91107 91108 91123 91201 91202 91203 91204 91205 91206 91207 91208 91210 91214 91303 91306 91316 91324 91325 91330 91331 91335 91340 91343 91344 91345 91352 91356 91364 91367 91371 91401 91402 91403 91405 91406 91411 91423 91436 91501 91502 91504 91505 91506 91521 91522 91523 91601 91602 91604 91605 91606 91607 91608 91706 91722 91723 91724 91731 91732 91733 91740 91741 91744 91745 91746 91748 91754 91755 91765 91768 91770 91773 91775 91776 91780 91789 91790 91791 91792 91801 91803 92626 92646 92647 92648 92649 92655 92683 92701 92703 92704 92706 92708 92801 92802 92804 92805 92806 92821 92823 92831 92832 92833 92835 92840 92841 92843 92844 92845 92861 92865 92866 92867 92868 92870 92886

• choosing a selection results in a full page refresh
• press the space key then arrow keys to make a selection

This site uses cookies to provide an optimized shopping experience. By using this site, you agree to the use of cookies within our Privacy Policy .

Forgot password

Please confirm your identity by clicking the link in the email we sent to to get access to your account and past purchases.

The link to reset your password has been sent to

Often bought together

• Search for:

No products in the cart.

• BORN FROM PAIN
• BRUTALITY WILL PREVIAL
• CIRCLE OF DEATH
• COLD HARD TRUTH
• DAGGER THREAT
• DEAD END TRAGEDY
• DEAD MAN’S CHEST
• DOS DIAS DE SANGRE
• END OF DAYS
• HARM/SHELTER
• I AM REVENGE
• LOOK MY WAY
• MAD AT THE WORLD
• MALEVOLENCE
• MANU ARMATA
• NEGATIVE SELF
• RED EYED DEVIL
• RYKER’S
• SCREAMIN SILENCE
• THE LAST CHARGE
• THESE STREETS
• THRONETORCHER
• TWITCHING TONGUES
• WHATEVER IT TAKES
• WORST DOUBT
• WORDS OF CONCRETE
• WORLD OF PAIN
• BDHW CLOTHING
• LONGSLEEVES
• SWEATSHIRTS
• BAGS & BACKPACKS
• PINS & PATCHES
• POSTERS & WALLFLAGS

Showing all 6 results

GUILT TRIP “River Of Lies” 12″ VINYL (#400 BLACK)

GUILT TRIP “River Of Lies” T-SHIRT

GUILT TRIP “River Of Lies” HOODIE

GUILT TRIP “River Of Lies” CD

GUILT TRIP “mhc” HOODIE

GUILT TRIP “eye” T-SHIRT

ABOUT GUILT TRIP

Guilt Trip is a crossover/hardcore 5 piece hailing from Manchester UK, formed in 2015. From the beggining set out to be as Riffy and aggressive as possible, growing from each release and touring when and where we can. „Unrelenting Force“ was the EP that pushed Guilt Trip to the to the next level and continue to write an LP for BDHW Recs in 2019.

River of Lies has been in production for the past couple of years. With many set backs along the way including a full album re-write and member changes. River of Lies is Guilt Trip’s most down to earth release to date, touching on subjects such as mental health and betrayal it takes a deeper look into things that effect day to day life. Musically it is far more aggressive than anything they have done before, heavier breakdowns, more riffs and raw vocals throughout.

For more Videos visit our YouTube Channel .

GUILT TRIP “river of lies”

- INSTAGRAM - FACEBOOK - TWITTER - SPOTIFY

Username or email address  *

Password  *

Remember me Log in

Lost your password?

Email address  *

I do want to create a new account and accept the privacy policy .   *

• Trending Today
• Best Sellers
• All Collections
• Livestreams
• SPO Rewards
• Influencer Program
• Purchase a Gift Card
• Find a Simon Center

• Women Clothing Activewear Coats & Jackets Dresses Jeans & Denim Jumpsuits & Rompers Lingerie & Hosiery Pants & Leggings Shorts Skirts Sleepwear & Loungewear Suits & Blazers Sweaters Sweatshirts & Hoodies Swimwear Tops Handbags Backpacks Belt Bags Bucket Bags Clutches Crossbody Bags Hobo Bags Satchels Shoulder Bags Tote Bags Wristlets Shoes Athletic Booties Boots Flats Loafers & Slip-ons Mules & Slides Pumps & Heels Sandals Slippers Sneakers Wedges & Espadrilles Winter & Rain Boots Jewelry Anklets Body Jewelry Bracelets Brooches & Lapel pins Charms & Pendants Earrings Necklaces Rings Watches Accessories Belts Gloves Hats Scarves & Wraps Sunglasses & Eyewear Wallets Beauty Bath & Body Fragrance Hair Care & Styling Makeup Nail Care Shaving & Grooming Skin Care

• Home Bath Bath Accessories Bath Mats & Rugs Bath Towels Beach Towels Shower Curtains Bedding Blankets & Throws Comforters & Quilts Duvet Covers Mattress Pads & Toppers Pillowcases & Shams Pillows Sheets Home Décor Area Rugs Candles & Diffusers Curtains & Window Treatments Decorative Accessories Faux Florals Lighting & Lamps Seasonal Décor Storage & Organization Throw Pillows Wall Décor & Mirrors Kitchen Bakeware Cooking Tools & Accessories Cookware Cutlery Kitchen Storage Small Appliances Dining Dinnerware Drinkware & Barware Flatware Serveware Table Linens More Electronics & Accessories Furniture Housewares Outdoor & Garden Pets Sports & Fitness Toys & Games Travel
• Beauty Bath & Body Bar Soap Gift Sets Bath Additives Body Wash Hand Sanitizers & Wipes Liquid Hand Soap Fragrance Men's Fragrance Women's Fragrance Hair Care Combs & Brushes Hair Care Kits Hair Dryers Hair Iron Accessories Hair Loss Trreatment Hair Permanents & Straighteners Hair Straighteners Hair Styling Products Hair Styling Tool Sets Shampoo & Conditioner Makeup Blushes & Bronzers Eye Shadow Face Mirrors Foundations & Concealers Lip Gloss Lip Liner Lip Stick Makeup Brushes Makeup Sets Nail Care Manicure Tool Sets Nail Care Accessories Nail Clippers Skin Care Anti-Aging & Skin Care Kits Body Oil Facial Cleansers Facial Cleansing Kits Lotion & Moisturizer Skin Care Extractors Skin Care Masks & Peels Skin Care Rollers Skin Cleansing Brushes Toners & Astringents
• Collections

How to Stop Getting Taken on Guilt Trips

There's a solution, but it requires building some emotional muscle.

Posted April 8, 2014

• Coping With Guilt
• Find counselling near me

auremar/Shutterstock

Most of us like to travel, but I don’t know anyone who enjoys being taken on a guilt trip.

We all know that a guilt trip is designed to induce an unpleasant feeling of guilt in another person, in order to manipulate that person into doing what the guilt tripper wants.

Here’s the thing: Nobody can take you on a guilt trip, if you aren’t willing to pack your bags and take the ride. The reason you might keep being played is because, without knowing it, you have tipped your emotional hat and let the guilt tripper know you are an easy mark.

Think about a dog begging for food from your table. He flashes those hangdog eyes and cons you into believing he’s dying of starvation, and that the scrap he has his eye on is the only cure. Next comes your fatal move: You give in to his manipulation and throw him the scrap. Now you’ve trained that dog to manipulate you till the cows (or the Chuck Wagon) come home. This is operant conditioning in action.

The same conditioning happens in our two-legged relationships. If you have what I call a “guilt allergy,” meaning you can’t stomach the feeling of guilt, you are a prime target for a guilt tripper. In fact, the guilt tripper, like a dog, can sniff out your weakness.

But don’t worry; there is a solution. To stop being taken on guilt trips, you have to build up your emotional muscle. You can do this by training yourself to bear the uncomfortable feeling of guilt. At first, this will be very hard to do. But with practice, you will see that your emotional muscle—and your resistance—gets stronger. Then you will be able to bear the emotional weight and tolerate the guilty feelings that the guilt tripper is trying to induce in you, without giving the tripper what he or she wants.

What is so powerful about this solution is the fact that your refusal to "bite" creates a ripple effect that defangs the guilt tripper. In this way, you are actually re-training the guilt tripper and conditioning him or her to cut it out. By not rewarding the guilt tripper with what he or she wants—not throwing the scrap—the guilt tripper, like the dog, will eventually stop the routine. Remember, no behavior continues without it being fed. When the feeding stops, the behavior stops.

But beware: The guilt tripper, like the dog, will periodically test you. This means you are going to need to keep your guard up and consistently refuse to feed the beast. After about six weeks, your new muscle will be fully developed and the guilt tripper’s game will be broken.

In my new book, Kiss Your Fights Good-bye: Dr. Love’s 10 Simple Steps to Cooling Conflict and Rekindling Your Relationship , I share a list of all the dysfunctional behavioral tactics people use. I divide these tactics into two categories—Open and Secret Warfare--guilt tripping being one of the many forms of Secret Warfare.

All these tactics create relationship friction and fighting, and in order to maintain a healthy, thriving relationship, it’s vital to identify all the Fight Traps that are afoot and eliminate each of them. Sending guilt trips packing is the first leg on your journey toward a lifetime of lasting love.

PS: Since this article only addresses one aspect of guilt tripping (when it's used to manipulate another person), please read my answers to the comments regarding other aspects of this topic, such as when a person should be guilty, how to hold a guilty party accountable without using guilt trips, and much more.

Due to the hugely positive response to this article, I'm doing a radio show on the topic on Tuesday, April 22nd at noon EST. You can watch the broadcast live over Google Hangouts: https://plus.google.com/u/0/b/112925143622990580565/events/csa6p6i32bss7o19p94i6v8q2pg

and on YouTube: : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kobyWa0u2E

Afterwards, the show will be archived at askdrlove.com and on WebTalkRadio.net, iTunes and BlogTalkRadio.com.

Dr. Jamie Turndorf Ph.D., is a relationship therapist, emotional communication expert, author and advice columnist.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• International
• New Zealand
• South Africa
• Switzerland
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Therapy Center NEW
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

Understanding what emotional intelligence looks like and the steps needed to improve it could light a path to a more emotionally adept world.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

• Clothing, Shoes & Jewelry
• Novelty & More
• Tops & Tees

Image Unavailable

• To view this video download Flash Player

It's Not a Family Vacation It's a Guilt Trip T-Shirt

Return this item for free.

You can return this item for any reason: no shipping charges. The item must be returned in new and unused condition.

• Go to Your Orders to start the return
• Print the return shipping label

Men's Big and Tall

Women's Plus

Product details

About this item.

It's Not a Family Vacation It's a Guilt Trip, this is a great gift for you, your family will love it, Funny vacation Tee gift, trip humor quote gift for your wife, vacation gift family, this tee is amazing present for anyone who loves family gags.

• Show off your sense of humor with this '' It's Not a Family Vacation It's a Guilt Trip '' design for vacation. guilt trip, family vacation tee, happy birthday gift daughter, son party funny gift. sarcastic family sayings
• Lightweight, Classic fit, Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem

More products with this design

Product Description

Looking for specific info.

• Package Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 10 x 8 x 1 inches; 4.8 ounces
• Department ‏ : ‎ mens
• Date First Available ‏ : ‎ August 27, 2023
• Manufacturer ‏ : ‎ It's Not a Family Vacation It's a Guilt Trip Tees
• ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CGQ493HH
• #439,654 in Women's Novelty T-Shirts
• #464,681 in Men's Novelty T-Shirts
• #1,028,762 in Men's Fashion

Customer reviews

Customer Reviews, including Product Star Ratings help customers to learn more about the product and decide whether it is the right product for them.

To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.

No customer reviews

• Amazon Newsletter
• About Amazon
• Accessibility
• Sustainability
• Press Center
• Investor Relations
• Amazon Devices
• Amazon Science
• Sell on Amazon
• Sell apps on Amazon
• Supply to Amazon
• Protect & Build Your Brand
• Become an Affiliate
• Become a Delivery Driver
• Start a Package Delivery Business
• Advertise Your Products
• Self-Publish with Us
• Become an Amazon Hub Partner
• › See More Ways to Make Money
• Amazon Visa
• Amazon Store Card
• Amazon Secured Card
• Amazon Business Card
• Shop with Points
• Credit Card Marketplace
• Reload Your Balance
• Amazon Currency Converter
• Your Account
• Your Orders
• Shipping Rates & Policies
• Amazon Prime
• Returns & Replacements
• Manage Your Content and Devices
• Recalls and Product Safety Alerts
• Conditions of Use
• Privacy Notice
• Consumer Health Data Privacy Disclosure
• Your Ads Privacy Choices

• lol Badge Feed
• win Badge Feed
• trending Badge Feed

Browse links

• © 2024 BuzzFeed, Inc
• Consent Preferences
• Accessibility Statement

Beauty + Personal Care

Sports + Fitness

We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.

32 Pieces Of Travel Clothing For Anyone Who Doesn’t Want To Have To Struggle With What To Wear On Their Trip

You'll be able to focus on more important things like your fun plans for the day.

BuzzFeed Staff

Unless otherwise specified, all sizes in this post are listed in women’s.

1. A sweater loungewear set  for an effortlessly cool look that everyone in the airport will be obsessed with. Not only is this set so chic, but you can also wear each piece separately, which is great if you're only traveling with a carryon and have limited space.

Promising review : "First of all, it is a really nice, well-made outfit. Secondly, it fit perfectly and looks great. It is very comfortable and stylish. It is my second outfit from this company as I ordered it immediately after receiving the first one. They will be perfect for an upcoming travel." — gemgirl

Get it from Amazon for $36.99 (available in sizes XS–XL and 20 color combos). 

2. A knee-length halter dress  available in a variety of colors and prints, so you'll for sure be able to find one (or two) that fit the vibe of your vacation. Whatever you pick, you'll have a great option that'll keep you feeling cool, comfortable, and stylish the whole time.

Promising review:  "A friend of mine got this dress, and it looked gorgeous on her, so I went ahead and ordered it. I love this dress, and I am so glad I ordered it. It’s lined and has a removable matching belt. I washed mine separately and hung it to dry, and it looks like new. This dress is easy for travel and pretty wrinkle-free. I have ordered 3 more prints, and I can’t wait to get them. Highly recommend." — sherrie

Get it from Amazon for $38.99 (available in sizes S–XL and 38 styles).

3. A bodysuit  capable of being one of the best base layers you have in your suitcase. Reviewers call this a must-have because it's extremely soft and feels (and looks) expensive.

Promising review: "Obsessed with this piece!! It is made of a comfy and stretchy material, perfect for any occasion. I purchased it for a trip to a theme park since I wanted something comfortable that would still be cute." — Alejandra Mendez

Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in sizes XS–XXL and in 29 colors). 

4. A lightweight  striped lounge set  you can wear as a beach coverup or even just a cute exploring outfit. Plus, since it's two pieces, you can mix and match both to create so many outfits.

Promising review : " I bought this for vacation but also just a cute summer set, and I love it! The shorts fit great, and the top is oversized just like I wanted. I wore it with a white cropped shirt and kept the top unbuttoned." — Jessica

Get it from Amazon for $36.99 (available in sizes S–XL and 23 colors and styles). 

5. Slouchy overalls made with lightweight fabric *and* deep pockets, which are both essential while traveling. And the fact that you can wear these with so many different shirts underneath (we're talking tank tops, T-shirt, long-sleeved, turtlenecks), means this is a versatile piece you'll wear several times during the trip.

Some reviewers recommend sizing down, unless you're tall!

Promising review: "The pocket in front is very handy. It feels like I'm wearing nothing. The overalls are light and flow-y. The fabric quality could be better — it may not last long, but it's inexpensive. I get so many compliments when I wear them. I wore them for plane travel and on the beach in Maui and Mexico and were perfect for all. Would I purchase again? Hell yeah. Size down possibly; they are slightly large." — Jamie Pauluk

Get them from Amazon for $25.99+ (available in sizes S–3XL and in 17 colors and prints).

6. A  stretchy drawstring jumpsuit  so comfortable yet stylish, you won't mind staying in it for the rest of the day after the flight lands. Plus, it can totally double as a swimsuit cover-up when you head to the pool!

Promising review : "I absolutely love this romper. The stretch is amazing! I originally ordered a large based on reviews and it was way too big so I decided to order the medium and even that was big so I decided to order one more time and did the small and that fit perfectly! This romper is sooo comfy, perfect for traveling, running errands or just lounging in. " — Yvonne

Get it from Amazon for $29.99 (available in sizes S–XXL and in 18 colors/prints).

7. A two-piece tank top and shorts set  that's super darling and pretty much guaranteed to get you a TON of compliments. And the best part is that you don't even have to put thought into putting an outfit together — just throw on the top and bottom, and you're G2G.

Promising review : "I got so many compliments when wearing this set on vacation in Hawaii! The top is very comfortable and cropped at just the right length. The shorts were a little see through, but for the price, they were very comfortable." — Courtney Smith

Get it from Amazon for $32.99 (available in sizes XS–XL and in 13 colors/patterns). 

8. An  abstract-print bodycon midi  for a show-stopping look that will require you to post at least one picture in it with an epic background of your travels. I can already see all the likes and comments rolling in asking where you got this beauty of a dress.

Promising review:  "This product is very thick and good quality for the price . I bought it from seeing someone on TikTok wear it and it looks exactly the same. You could even wear this in fall with the right layering pieces." — Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for  $33.99+  (available in sizes S–XL and 16 styles).

9. A  ruched top and flare pants set  that screams "F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S." It comes in a variety of different colors, patterns, and also pant and short options because once you own one of the sets, you'll be racing back to the listing to grab more. Reviewers have worn the set on vacations , as a swimsuit coverup , and even worn the top and bottom separately .

Promising reviews: " I just bought this for my trip to Barbados. I received more compliments in one night than I could count! I just got home, washed on delicate, cold and hung to dry, came out perfectly. So cute! Highly recommend." — Eileen Levy

Get them from Amazon for $27.99+  (available in sizes S–XL and in 27 colors, patterns, and styles).

10. A pair of  paper bag belted pants  reviewers swear are comfy enough to travel in because sometimes you don't want to wear leggings on the flight (yes, it does happen.) And if you're traveling for work, these are perfect to wear while you give that big presentation you've been working so hard on.

Promising review: "I wore them for five hours of travel plus lots of movement, and they were great. I thought they looked reasonably polished with a tucked-in blouse and a cardigan. I don't need them in different colors, but if I did, I'd buy another pair." — Amy

Get them from Amazon for $29.99 (available in sizes 16–24 and six prints, also in two-pair sets).

11. A long-sleeve boho dress  about to be your new favorite because it's super fun yet easy to wear. It's perfect for a nice dinner out or even a day of exploring. And as a bonus — it doesn't wrinkle so you don't have to worry about ironing during your trip.

Promising review: "LOVE THIS DRESS. I was hesitant to buy this because it was for a vacation. Because it's made of rayon, I was concerned about how well it would travel. I shouldn’t have worried. I iron a LOT of our clothes, but I can honestly say that this dress came out of the suitcase really nicely. I just hung it in the closet and the few wrinkles fell away. I wore this dress more on our vacay than any other one because it’s so diverse. Even when it got wet, it dried nicely and quickly. It’s a winner! Will be ordering more soon." — Sheri Terrell

Get it from Amazon for $33.99+ (available in sizes S–XL and 19 color combos).

12. A button-down A-line skirt  for a cute style that will still keep you covered enough that you don't have to add a scarf over your outfit when you go into a European church with a dress code. 

Promising review : "This skirt is so versatile. I usually have a hard time finding skirts because I have wider hips so skirts that are longer create a weird silhouette. This skirt is not that. I have been able to wear it to work and feel super comfortable. The fabric is sturdy, and it has a little of a wrinkled look so it is great to travel with. I would recommend this skirt to anyone who is looking for some flare in their wardrobe but doesn't want to break the bank. I got this skirt in red and plan on getting it in a few more colors. Also, it was true to size." — Christina

Get it from Amazon for  $23.99 (available in sizes S–XL and five colors).

13. A two-piece midi dress outfit  you'll be ~dying~ to wear as soon as you get to your destination — as a beach coverup or just a great dinner outfit. You're bound to have a great time when you wear this amazing outfit. 

Promising review: "I absolutely LOVE this outfit!! It is cute, sexy, and comfortable to wear. I bought this outfit as a 'travel outfit' to wear while going to the beach!! I should have bought two at the same time, but I didn't! I definitely will be ordering more colors next time."— Moni

Get it from Amazon for  $37.99 (available in sizes XL–5X and in 31 colors and patterns).

14. A two-piece crop top and wide-leg pants set  that will be the first thing you put into your suitcase when it's time to start packing and then the first thing you pull out when you get to your destination. Reviewers love this set so much and say it's a vacation outfit that they wear again and again , even after they return home.

Promising review: "I bought this outfit for a summer vacation in Italy, and it was perfect. I have since worn it a number of times and wear the pieces separately as well. The pants are a little long, but wearing a shoe with even a slight heel worked well." — Kindle Customer

Get it from Amazon for $34.99+ (available in sizes XS–XL and in 29 colors and styles). 

15. A bright and beautiful  tassel-detail dress  because nobody and nothing is going to ~rain on your parade~ when you wear this on the trip (even if it does actually rain). And with 30+ color and print options, you'll for sure find a style that fits your vibe.

Reviewer's recommend sizing up if you're busty!

Promising review: "Absolutely adore this dress!! The CUTEST! I bought it in the white/tan color and the really colorful turquoise. Love them both! I feel like they are cute multi-seasonal dresses. You can wear them with sandals in the summer or boots and a cute vest/jacket for fall. Fits perfectly!" — GEM

Get it from Amazon for $36.99  (available in sizes XS–XXL and in 33 prints).

16. An off-the-shoulder maxi  for an effortless look you can quickly grab when you spend too much time at the pool and have approximately five minutes to get ready before your dinner reservation. Reviewers confirm this maxi is stretchy, easy to wear, and (one of the best parts), has pockets!!

Promising review: "I bought this dress for my trip to Hawaii. It was my favorite dress I wore on this trip!! I bought a large thinking the medium may be too tight, but I could have been fine with a medium because of how stretchy and comfortable the material is. Buying more colors for sure!!!"— Maria E. Montoya

Get it from Amazon for $39.99 (available in sizes XS–XXL and in 16 colors and patterns).

17. A high-waisted palazzo trouser  to ~widen~ your wardrobe selection without having to pack several pairs of pants. This style can be worn with so many different tops and in so many different settings — from a tropical island to a European tour. Be warned though, these might just become your favorite pants .

Promising review: "I have these in two colors, and they are now my favorite pants ever. They are very comfortable. I wore them on a 9-hour international flight, and they go with everything. Easy to dress up." — BVanDyke

Get them from Amazon for $33.99+ (available in sizes XS–2X, short and 21 colors).

18. A flow-y tank dress that's essentially made with the same material as pajamas. This means you can wear it on the flight with your favorite jean jacket and be comfortable the whole time, but still be ready to go as soon as you step off the plane. Vacation starts N-O-W.

Promising review: "This dress has adjustable straps. It hugs you but isn't bodycon, which I liked. I paired it with a denim jacket for versatile temps of the airport, and it was great for travel." — Keeli

Get it from Amazon for $25.99 (available in sizes XS–XXL and in 33 colors and patterns).

19. A sleek satin midi skirt  perfect to add to your suitcase because you'll be able to wear it several times on the trip and not feel like you're wearing the same outfit over and over again. Just look at home many cute ways the reviewer styled it below! The possibilities are endless.

Promising reviews: "This skirt is absolutely stunning! The quality is amazing for the price. I’ve bought similar skirts at other stores that are at least $60 plus but this one is the best one I’ve owned. You won’t regret it!" — Abby

"The rich color of the skirt is what sells it for me. Wear it with several colors, different styles and you will be the hit at work or at dinner." — Jennifer Olvera

Get it from Amazon for $34.99+ (available in sizes S–XL and in 20 colors). And get a  similar version  also from Amazon that goes up to size 5X.

20. A Levi's denim jacket  about to be your go-to layer on your trip. Seriously, this is such a closet staple that you'll never go wrong with it, no matter where you take it. And as a little bonus, I know personally that it looks great with pins on it, so wouldn't it be so cute if you added a pin from each city you take it to? 

I've had a Levi's denim jacket for years now and still love it so much and wear it all the time. I've taken it on many trips with me and always find it a great layer to have. Plus, you can totally wrap it around your waist if it get a little warm. I currently only have two pins on it, but I love the look it adds and think it would be a great way to remember your travels!

Promising review: "This jacket has been one that I reach for constantly. It was the slightest bit smaller than I expected, but honestly, after I wore it a few times it definitely fit better. Really worth the price." — Cassandra Griffiths

Get it from Amazon for $44.90+ (available in sizes XS–4X and 11 colors).

21. A pair of  drawstring lounge pants  one reviewer confirms are the " perfect travel pants ." They're lightweight, comfortable, and can be worn for everything from hiking to a nice dinner.

Promising review: "Perfect travel pants! These pants are lightweight, really comfortable, and the perfect length. I'm planning to make these part of my travel capsule wardrobe and wear them for activities such as yoga and hiking, and they can even go from day to night with a cute shoe and top. The drawstring can be tucked inside the waistband to make the look more polished. Very happy!" — Randy

Get it from Amazon for $35  (available in sizes XXS–XXL and 23 colors).

22. A  flowing maxi dress  with one great feature – it has pockets! You'll be able to keep your essentials on you (lip balm, gum, etc...) without having to drag a huge purse with you everywhere you go. And it looks great with a jean jacket for those cooler nights!

Promising review: "I purchased this for vacation, and I'm glad I did. I wore it more than once. It's very comfortable, cute, and can be styled in different ways with knots, belts, etc. It can be used for casual dress or even a beach cover up. It washed up well no shrinkage or fading." — Autumn T

Get it from Amazon for  $35.99 (available in sizes S–XXL and in 38 colors).

23. A pair of Levi's Ribcage jeans  here to make you feel so on trend without compromising on your comfort. And the best part about these jeans? They'll instantly elevate any top you already have packed in your suitcase.

FYI, if you have  Amazon Prime  you can try before you buy!

Promising review : "I was on the hunt for that perfect 'French girl' jean for my trip to Paris to wear with a white button-up and trench coat. and I’m shocked that these fit. I’m 5’0 and have short legs, long torso, and these are the perfect length, just brushing the top of my shoes. So comfortable with stretch stretch but also enough structure. I may buy another pair when I get home from France! " — Melanie Abrams

Get them from Amazon for $55.60+ (available in sizes 22–32 Standard and 35–39 Plus and in 15 washes).

24. A printed cover-up  that will be the pop of color your travel wardrobe needs. Throw it on over your swimsuit, put it over a dress with a belt, or even with just a plain T-shirt and jeans. The possibilities are endless. 

Promising review: "I love a good coverup that can make my travel wardrobe versatile. I took this on vacation and was able to wear it with cotton Capri leggings, shorts and even over the top of a black dress for a little extra coverage in a cold restaurant." — Janna

Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in one size fits most and in 44 colors and patterns).

25. A cami jumper  one reviewer calls the "best travel outfit of all time." You can wear this on its own, or with a bralette, tank, T-shirt, or even long-sleeved shirt. Think about all those possible outfits!

Pssst! Reviewers also say this is a great option during pregnancy because it's bump-friendly and works long after baby is born!

Promising review: "This romper is so comfy. It is the best travel outfit of all time. You can dress it up or down. Wear it out for dinner or just to get groceries. I’m buying more in other colors!" — Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $39.99+ (available in sizes XS–3X and in 18 colors, prints, and styles).

26. A  tiered maxi dress  that comes in numerous solid colors that will always be a ~solid~ choice. Pair it with sneakers to explore or with heels and an evening bag for dinner. We love a dress that can basically do it all.

Promising review:  "Very comfortable and cool (great in hot weather), cute enough to dress up for wine tastings, and it has pockets large enough to hold your phone, keys, snacks (shrimp? You do you) . A stranger even complimented me on it, so 10/10 all around." — Mira

Get it from Amazon for  $41.93+  (available in sizes XXS–5X and in 20 colors and patterns).

27. A open-front blazer  you'll want to have in your suitcase if you're traveling for work and don't want to show up in a wrinkled jacket. Plus, you can totally wear it with a pair of jeans and feel comfortable enough to hit the highlights of the city during your small chunk of free time.

Promising review: "I love this jacket! It's lightweight and can travel very well! I didn't have to worry about it getting wrinkled when shoving it into a bag on my last work trip." — Erica Robyn

Get it from Amazon for $28.95 (available in sizes 4–22 and 31 colors).

28. A tie-front midi dress  you can wear all day long in even the hottest of places and feel comfortable. Just be prepared for random people to stop you and compliment you in this number.

Promising review:  "I got this dress in two colors. They are made from different materials, but I love them both. It feels like your favorite comfy t-shirt. I wore it to travel in, and I was very happy. It looks great, too — the little peekaboo under the bust is just perfect. It stays tied if you knot it well. I like tying it in a bow, but a double knot would be cute. This also means you can adjust the fit for your bust. 10/10 on this one; I want to get more colors/patterns." — Kellyann B

Get it from Amazon for $35.99 (available in sizes S–XL and in 20 colors and patterns).

29. A pair of buttery soft leggings  so great that more than 33,500 people gave them a 5-star rating. If you're an adventure seeker on vacation, these leggings will take you anywhere you want to go and back again.

Promising review: "These leggings are so worth it for the price!! Super buttery soft and squat-proof. I wore them rock climbing, and they held up well. I lift in them, and they stay up. I will be ordering more pairs in more colors." — The Real Slim Shani

Get them from Amazon for  $22.99 (available in sizes XS–XL and in 23 colors).

30. A Hackwith Design House shirt  actually made to be worn six different ways. This fact alone makes it a great shirt to travel with. But you're going to like the styles so much, I can pretty much guarantee you'll wear it more than once during your trip.

Hackwith Design House is a woman-owned small business that creates made-to-order apparel. This shirt can be worn as a V-neck, off-the-shoulder, boatneck, V-back, and even open as a jacket. And the color is simple, which means it can be paired well with many different bottoms. 

BuzzFeed Shopping Editor  Chelsea Stuart  says: "I have this shirt and I *love* it.  All credit for its discovery goes to TikToker  @jennifer.bianca  who I happened to stumble across on my FYP. It checks all my boxes: black, comfortable, versatile, and durable. My initial worry was that I wouldn't feel secure in it (I have a 38DDD chest and most wrap tops/dresses I've tried haven't stayed where they're supposed to), but I haven't had an issue with this! I've worn it tied in the front giving me a square neck (like the middle picture) and tied in the back giving me a V-neck up front (just like the photo on the right) — both were super comfortable, and I didn't have to adjust myself at all. As someone whose weight fluctuates, I also appreciate that this piece can handle pounds gained and lost. The fabric is medium weight, so I'll be wearing it season to season, and there's just enough elasticity in the arms that if you roll up your sleeves, they won't fall back down. All that is to say trust that I will be buying additional colors!"

Get it from Hackwith Design House for $145  (available in sizes XS–4X and in five colors). 

31. A stretchy  mid-length pencil skirt  reviewers confirm is as comfortable as wearing leggings but looks so much nicer. If you travel a lot for work, or just need a nice bottom option for dinner, this will be your go-to.

Promising reviews:  "I really like this skirt. Great quality…I ordered it twice just because I wear it so much for work and travel. It fits true to size. The color, material, fit, and style did not disappoint. I highly recommend!" — Dione

"Love, love, love this skirt!! I would normally wear a medium, but after reading some reviews about how small it ran, I ordered one size up. When I took it out of the bag today and looked at the waist, it looked so small I thought, NO WAY! But, the fabric is so soft and has so much give that it was fine. In minutes, I felt like I was walking around in my PJs! Yes, it’s THAT comfortable! From the side the fit is very close; it looks like I’m wearing leggings. If you think this would feel or look too tight for you, I would try two sizes up rather than one, although the thigh and leg area is the part of the skirt that fits the closest. But, I’m fine with it, and my husband said I look 'great' in it — sleek and well-dressed but not too sexy which was what I was going for since I’ll be wearing it to church! Came back online just now to order more in different colors but decided to write this review first!" — Lisa S.

Get it from Amazon for $33.99 (available in sizes XS–XXL and in seven colors).

32. A rib-knit ruched crop top that has a drawstring down the middle that's adjustable, meaning you can customize it to show as much (or as little) skin as you want. Combine this feature with the soft fabric and trendy style, and you've got yourself a winner of a top.

Promising reviews:  "I bought this top for my trip to Paris, and it fit perfectly! The material is very soft and comfortable. Would definitely recommend." — Manee Her

"I love this shirt. You can wear it at several different lengths. It is a soft stretchy material. Not see-through at all. Very comfortable for wearing all day and night. Pair this with a skirt or cute pair of jeans!" — Katrina

Get it from Amazon for $19.99+ (available in sizes XS–3XL and in six colors).

Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.

Share This Article

• Longsleeves
• Accessories
• Windbreakers
• Despised Icon
• Justice For The Damned
• Malevolence
• Rough Justice
• Distro Vinyl
• Create Account

Guilt Trip x Carhartt Cap

Guilt trip cap embroidered on official Carhartt workwear, Velcro strap. one size fits all.

• Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
• Press the space key then arrow keys to make a selection.

Guilt Trip: What Is It, Examples + How to Spot and Respond

Guilt can be a powerful weapon, and sadly, many people know how to utilize it skillfully.

Intentional or not, guilt-tripping prevents conflict resolution and healthy communication and it often evokes feelings of resentment and frustration.

But what is a guilt trip? How do we spot and respond to it? Here are experts insights.

Table of Contents

Guilt trip when someone emotionally punishes you in another way in an effort to get you to do something

Assess your intent, learn to say ‘no’, guilt trips are an attempt to manipulate you, prepare yourself by recognizing guilt trips, stop enabling bad behavior, attempting to make another person feel guilty is a problematic behavior, stick to your boundaries, frequently asked questions.

Ned Presnall, LCSW

Licensed Clinical Social Worker | Director of Clinical Services, Plan Your Recovery | Professor, Washington University

As human beings, we are very social creatures. We’re constantly engaged in positively and negatively reinforcing the behaviors of the people closest to us. We give small emotional rewards, and small emotional punishments in response to the things that they do.

We do this because we’re unconsciously trying to reinforce the behaviors that we most want to see — we do this with really anyone we’re invested in, be it a friend, a family member, a co-worker, or a group project member.

Guilt is an emotion that we feel when we think we’ve done something that will cause another person to reject us — Freud called guilt a fear of the loss of love. So if a person is giving us a “guilt trip”, they’re pushing us away to try to reinforce the behavior in us that they want to see. It’s sometimes intentional, and other times unintentional.

For example, if a friend is trying to get you to visit them and you initially refuse, they might guilt trip you by saying, “aww, but you never see me anymore!” That friend might be unconsciously trying to manipulate you, or they may have chosen those words very specifically.

You can recognize a guilt trip when someone withdraws their affection or emotionally punishes you in another way in an effort to get you to do something. It’s a sort of passive-aggressive way to express emotional needs — it’s far better to tell a person what you want than to try to motivate them through manipulation.

Related: How to Stop Being Passive Aggressive

So what can you do? If a person is withdrawing their affection from us, the most practical thing to do is to ask them if they’re unhappy, or otherwise try to communicate with them about their feelings.

Engage them in empathetic conversation, and attempt to see the situation through their eyes when speaking with them — you’ll be more likely to find a solution.

Candace V. Love, PhD, PC

Licensed Clinical Psychologist | President, North Shore Behavioral Medicine

The point I want to make about guilt is simply: We tend to feel guilty when we say ‘no’ to someone or their request. It’s important to know how to say no and not feel guilty for taking care of yourself, even if you just wanted to stay home and watch TV or relax. Yet, too often we beat ourselves up and feel we shouldn’t have said no, and now this other person is disappointed or hurt.

But, when one feels guilty they need to first ask themselves, ‘what was my intent?’ If your intent was not to hurt or disappoint someone, but actually to take care of yourself, then you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Sure, the other person may be hurt and feel disappointed but that is their issue to work out. That person needs to learn to self soothe themselves, which is a skill everyone should learn along with frustration tolerance. Unfortunately, many people have not learned these skills.

Too often guilt accompanies those people with people-pleasing issues – the disease to please – or another word for it co-dependent: where you put other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own.

Someone who does this is ripe for a narcissistic relationship because a narcissist is only too happy to have someone who puts the narcissist’s wants and needs always first.

Mary Joye, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor,  Winter Haven Counseling

Guilt trips are some of the most costly “excursions” you can take because they take a toll on you mentally and physically. If you feel guilty when someone asks you for something, this is the most obvious way to recognize if it is a guilt trip. When you recognize something, you can neutralize the effect with time and practice.

When someone uses guilt, it feels like emotional extortion and it is. This is particularly true of anyone who suffers from codependency, approval-seeking, or people-pleasing behaviors.

Related: How to Break Codependency Habits

Recognizing the guilt trip may have been elusive in the past, but it is easier than you think to in the future. There is biology to this and involves the vagus nerve which is your parasympathetic nervous system that kicks in when you are emotionally reactive.

If you see your phone ring knowing it is someone who guilt trips you, feeling the tension in your shoulder or neck, heart racing, feeling short of breath or nauseated, are vagus nerve reactions.

Guilt can be the most insidious of manipulation tools of narcissists or just plain selfish people who use your kindness and empathy to gain your sympathy. They get you to say yes when you want to say no. Saying no is very difficult but it can be done.

You can diplomatically say no in a three step way.

• Breathe slowly and don’t feel that you have to say yes or no right away. Take your time to leave silence. It lets them know you are thinking and not reacting in knee jerk fashion.
• Release the tension you feel and use a “gratitude sandwich” to say no. Example: Someone has called and said no one makes cakes as well as you do and no one is as nice as you are and asks you to bake ten cakes for their cause without payment other than this passive-aggressive compliment which was really flattery. You can say. “Thank you for thinking I can bake ten cakes for the benefit but I am overextended and will have to decline. But thank you for the compliment. This method is an authentic way to say no without having to say “no” at all.
• If the person pushes harder, you can straighten your posture and elevate your chin even if you are on the phone. Guilt makes you slump and a heightened posture makes you sound, feel, and look more confident. Then you can put up your and simply state with no more than a few more words, “I simply can’t say yes.”

Again, these are ways to say no to guilt trips that are more diplomatic. However, don’t expect anyone to applaud you for declining the emotional extortion.

It will take a while to recondition those who have conditioned you to cave into their guilt trips. Then you can save the time and energy to go on actual trips and enjoy your life by saying yes to yourself while saying no to others.

Related: How to Say No at Work Without Feeling Guilty

Lynell Ross

Resource Director, Education Advocates

Some people have a knack for knowing how to push your buttons and manipulate you by using guilt. Whether they are conscious of what they are doing or not, this tactic works for them so they continue to throw out subtle remarks such as, “Don’t worry about me. I’m used to being all alone.”

Or they might use not so subtle manipulations such as attempting to make you feel sorry for them because you have more money, a better job, or more friends. Beware of a friend that says as you sit down to a meal out, “I wish I had a job that pays as much as yours. I can’t afford expensive meals.” Then you feel guilty and treat them to dinner.

Next time you run across someone who lays a guilt trip on you, remember this. No one can make you feel anything. It is up to you to know how to respond, and you can protect yourself by understanding guilt trips for what they are, the person’s attempt to manipulate your feelings and get you to do what they want.

When you see their guilt trip as an attempt to manipulate you, then you can stop feeling guilty and respond with awareness. Decide what is best for you, realizing that it isn’t selfish to take care of yourself.

What’s more, when you give in to manipulation or do something for someone else that they should be doing for themself, you enable them to continue the behavior that is harmful to themselves. You can learn to say no without feeling guilty.

You may have lived with a family member who guilted you into doing things your whole life, so are used to it. But laying a guilt trip on someone is unhealthy and problematic behavior. When you stop letting them make you feel guilty, it isn’t your problem any longer.

Jessica LaMarre

Writer, Love Personal Growth

What I have learned is a guilt trip can come from external people. However, the most challenging guilt trip to deal with, for me personally, is the internal guilt trip.

Imagine an ice cream sundae; first I would scoop on the repeated story in my head, the second I would add another scoop of how it impacted me, others, and/or work, and third I would top it off with some self-criticism.

As a working mom of three, the amount of guilt trip sundaes I am served is like living in a Baskin Robbins. “Mom, you hugged her first”, “Mom, you spent more time with brother”, “Mom, do you have to go to yoga, I want to play”, “Mom, are you done working, yet” , play on repeat.

I have spent the last two and a half years transforming my life, which has allowed my guilt trips to subside. Now, I rarely go through the process below, except when it comes to my kids. Here are some examples of those guilt trip sundaes.

For the first scoop, the repeat story:

• “I don’t have time for this, I have so much work to do.” The word ‘this’ in my story, pretty much-equaled anything else.
• “I cannot believe I am taking this time for me, there is so much that needs to be done” . This story was rare because I did not do much for me. When I did, it would make me feel guilty.
• “I need to complete this project, then I can practice that work/life balance thing”. Not true. You’re welcome, just letting you know from experience no matter how much you accomplish or achieve, there will always be more.

For the second scoop, how it could impact me, others, and/or work:

• “I won’t be considered for the (fill in the blank) if I don’t put in 60 hours a week” or “My co-workers and customers are counting on me”
• “I don’t need to take time for me, who goes to every 6 month dental cleaning anyways?”
• “We are not going to win this proposal if we don’t have all of this information, we need to do more research, yeah we need more information, I can take it on.”

Then top it off with some self-criticism:

• “Why did I even sign up for this? I should have known better.”
• “See, now you don’t have enough time to finish what you needed to get done!”
• “You should have known this all along, how did not you see this coming!”

A guilt trip can make for a messy sundae, especially for our mental, physical, and emotional health. In the book, ‘Language of Emotions’ by Karla McLaren, I learned guilt and shame are a form of anger that arises when your boundary has been broken from the inside — by something you’ve done wrong or have been convinced is wrong.

Once I learned this, I noticed that when I am not holding to my boundaries, I feel guilty. Learning my boundaries and sticking to them, which often results in me saying no, has reduced my overall guilt.

Here are three steps to spot the guilt trip and respond.

• Step 1: Become aware – learn when, where, and with whom you experience guilt (who could be work).
• Step 2: How do you respond to the scoops? What is the repeated story you tell yourself? How do you believe this story impacts your life? What self-criticism follows?
• Step 3: Know it is OK to say No. The word no can be a complete sentence.

I love the quote from Warren Buffet: “The difference between successful people and really successful people is those really successful people say no to almost everything.”

Learn your boundaries and give yourself permission to say no. From experience, I can say there will be a lot less guilt-trip sundaes.

Why Do We Sometimes Respond to Guilt Trips?

Guilt trips are a form of emotional manipulation that exploit the feelings of guilt and responsibility in others. Here are some reasons why people may respond to guilt trips:

• Emotional Connection: Guilt trips often involve people close to us, such as friends, family, or partners. When we have a strong emotional connection with someone, we may feel obligated to comply with their requests or desires.

• Sense of Responsibility: People may respond to guilt trips because they feel a strong sense of responsibility for the happiness and well-being of the person making the request.

• Fear of Conflict: People may respond to guilt trips because they fear that saying no will result in conflict or disappointment in their relationships.

• Insecurity: Some people may respond to guilt trips because they are insecure and seek approval or validation from others. Feeling guilty can reinforce the belief that they are responsible for the other person’s happiness and can lead to a sense of validation.

• Lack of Assertiveness: Some people may respond to guilt trips because they lack assertiveness and feel unable to say no. They may also feel that saying no would make them appear selfish or unkind.

What Phrases Are Commonly Used to Guilt Trip?

Guilt-tripping is a manipulative tactic used to manipulate and control others by making them feel guilty, ashamed, or obligated to act in a certain way. There are several phrases commonly used in guilt-tripping, including:

• “I can’t believe you would do this to me.” • “How could you be so selfish?” • “I did so much for you, and this is how you repay me?” • “Don’t you care about me?” • “I thought you were better than this.” • “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?” • “I trusted you.” • “I don’t understand how you could do this.” •”I never thought you would hurt me like this.” • “I thought we had something special.”

If someone uses these phrases to control you, standing up for yourself and setting boundaries is essential. You deserve to be treated with respect and control over your decisions and actions.

How Do We Respond to Guilt Trips From Mom?

Responding to guilt trips from our mothers can be a challenging situation. However, some strategies can help us handle these feelings and communicate effectively with our mothers.

• Acknowledge your feelings: Understanding and acknowledging our guilt is important before responding to our mother’s guilt trip. This can help us stay calm and composed during the conversation.

• Communicate clearly: Be clear and direct in your communication. Let your mother know how her guilt trip makes you feel and why you will not comply with her request.

• Set boundaries: Guilt trips can happen when we feel like we’re not meeting our mother’s expectations. It’s important to set clear boundaries and communicate what we’re comfortable with.

• Empathize: Try to understand where your mother is coming from and her motivations. This can help you respond to her more understanding and compassionately.

• Focus on the present: Guilt trips often stem from past or future expectations. Try to focus on the present moment and what you can do right now to address the situation.

• Seek support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the guilt trip, reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support. Talking to someone can help you process your feelings and gain a fresh perspective on the situation.

• Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself can help you feel more resilient and empowered in the face of guilt trips. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax.

By using these strategies, we can respond to guilt trips from our mothers in a healthy and effective way. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize our own well-being.

How Do You Express Your Feelings Without Guilt-Tripping?

Expressing one’s feelings is an important aspect of communication and can help improve relationships. However, it’s essential to do so in a way that doesn’t make the other person feel guilty. Here’s how to express your feelings without guilt-tripping:

• Be clear and direct: Be clear and concise in your communication, and use “I” statements instead of blaming or accusing the other person. For instance, “I feel hurt when you don’t listen to me” instead of “You never listen to me.”

• Take responsibility for your own feelings: It’s important to remember that your feelings are your own responsibility, not someone else’s. So, instead of making the other person responsible for how you feel, express your feelings as your own experience.

• Focus on the behavior, not the person: When expressing your feelings, focus on specific behaviors or actions that are bothering you rather than attacking the person’s character.

• Be open to feedback: Be open to hearing the other person’s perspective, and try to see things from their point of view. This can help reduce tension and facilitate a more productive conversation.

• Avoid ultimatums: Avoid making demands or ultimatums, as this can create an environment of pressure and guilt. Instead, try to find a solution that works for both of you.

• Practice active listening: Listen attentively to the other person’s response, and try to understand their perspective. This can help avoid misunderstandings and create a more positive and respectful environment.

• Avoid blame or shame: Blaming can only worsen the situation and lead to defensiveness and further conflict. Instead, focus on finding a solution that works for you.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

As you found this post useful...

Share it on social media!

We are sorry that this post was not useful for you!

Let us improve this post!

Tell us how we can improve this post?

The Editors

Is Someone Guilt-Tripping You? How To Identify and Respond to This Form of Emotional Manipulation

“Guilt-tripping is intentionally or unintentionally causing feelings of guilt in another person to manipulate or control them,” says Monica Vermani, C.Psych , a clinical psychologist who specializes in trauma, abuse, and relationships. She says it’s all about exerting influence and power.

• Amelia Kelley, PhD, PhD, MS, LCHMC, ATR, RYT , a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster, and researcher
• Monica Vermani, C. Psych. , clinical psychologist, public speaker, teacher and author
• Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD , clinical psychologist

It’s vital to note that the person being guilted may not even be in the wrong. “The natural emotion of guilt is employed as a manipulative tactic to create a sense of responsibility for something they may or may not have done,” says Amelia Kelley, PhD, LCMHC , a trauma-informed relationship therapist, podcaster, researcher, and co-author of What I Wish I Knew . “The narcissists and emotional abusers will use guilt as a gaslighting tactic to make their target take responsibility even if they are not at fault.”

In various ways, this kind of behavior boils down to a desire to gain power or control. “Typically, when others guilt-trip you, they are attempting to have the upper hand in some way, get something out of you, or keep you on your toes,” says Nancy Irwin, PsyD , a clinical psychologist specializing in trauma.

People who've experienced negative relationships or are disempowered are often the type to utilize guilt-tripping as a means of claiming control. “It may be the fear of being hurt again [that leads someone to guilt-trip],” says Dr. Kelley, adding that this is common for someone with an insecure attachment style or a fear of abandonment . “It could also be a result of the guilt-tripper not feeling comfortable with vulnerability and struggling themselves to take responsibility for their actions,” she adds, describing a behavior typical in the victim narcissist (or the narcissist who acts as if others are always out to get them).

• 01 How do you know if someone is guilt-tripping you?
• 02 What is narcissistic guilt tripping?
• 03 Is guilt-tripping gaslighting?
• 04 What is the negative impact of guilt-tripping?
• 05 Why am I guilt-tripping myself?
• 06 How to stop guilt-tripping yourself
• 07 How do you respond to someone guilt-tripping you?
• 08 When to seek professional help

{{post.sponsorText}}

How do you know if someone is guilt-tripping you?

The experts say guilt-tripping can be either blunt and obvious or subtle and hard to identify. To tell if someone is manipulating you , they suggest looking for the following signs:

• Making passive-aggressive suggestions about how you haven’t done your “fair share”
• Reminding you of all the favors they’ve done for you
• Giving you the silent treatment ( yes, it’s a manipulation tactic !)
• A disapproving tone of voice, facial expression, or gesture to convey disappointment
• Making a cutting or unkind comment then saying they were “just joking”
• Continuing to bring up the “offense” or “mistake” either subtly or dramatically
• Glaring at you or deeply inhaling after hearing about a similar situation, or saying something like “Yes, I know the feeling”
• Making baseless accusations
• Struggling to take responsibility or ownership for their part
• Making you feel like you have to “make something up to them,” justify your intentions, or over-apologize
• An absence of an equal exchange of give and take, in which you’re always showing up for them without being able to ask for the same in return

Examples of guilt-tripping phrases

Generally speaking, there’s a key sign to look out for in these statements, Dr. Kelley says: dichotomous (aka, black-and-white) language.

Guilt-trippers “typically assign judgment and responsibility and are laden with blame and emotional blackmail aimed at the recipient of the comment,” says Dr. Vermani.

As specific examples of what a guilt-tripper may say, the experts listed the following:

• “You always/never….”
• “You make me feel…”
• “Men/women always…”
• “If you really cared or loved me…”
• “I thought you were on my side…”

What is narcissistic guilt-tripping?

Guilt-tripping behavior can be common among narcissistic people . “Narcissists are brilliant at projecting their own flaws or perceived inadequacies onto others,” Dr. Irwin says, noting they can’t own their mistakes, apologize, or self-correct. “Whatever comes out of a narcissist’s mouth, simply pause and ask yourself who they are really talking about.”

Guilt-tripping also gives them the control and power they seek, or more generally, what they want. “They seek attention and use guilt as a means of maintaining power over their victims,” Dr. Vermani adds. If the narcissistic person can make their partner think that they’re at fault, they may be better able to control how their partner acts.

Is guilt-tripping gaslighting?

Guilt-tripping and gaslighting are similar in that both are emotional abuse tactics used to manipulate and control, the psychologists say. They aren’t quite the same thing, though.

Gaslighting is making someone question their sanity, Dr. Irwin says, while guilt-tripping is informing someone of a claimed offensive and holding on to it.

Despite their differences, the two are often used in conjunction. “Gaslighting is meant to confuse or distort someone’s reality, which is not always the case with guilt-tripping,” Dr. Kelley says. “Commonly though, in order to employ a guilt trip, there needs to be distortions of reality that occur, which is where gaslighting comes in.”

She adds it can also be used to justify threats and accusations or engage the target in a power struggle. “[Targets] are constantly having to look at themselves and what they did wrong, which takes the spotlight of blame off the narcissist as the target remains on the defensive,” she explains.

What is the negative impact of guilt-tripping?

Guilt-tripping can hurt the relationship and the mental health of the person experiencing it. A 2010 study in Clinical Psychology Review 1 found that persistent guilt exacerbates depression, anxiety, and OCD symptoms, just to start.

“It has a direct impact on self-concept and self-esteem,” Dr. Kelley says. “If someone always feels they are to blame, or in the wrong, it can make it difficult to speak to oneself with compassion and continue to believe that you are worthy of the love and respect each and every one of us deserves.”

This can create an unhealthy power dynamic, she adds, as well as fail to properly address the situation at hand.

Further, Dr. Vermani notes that guilt-tripping can lead to resentment, a lack of trust, and anger in relationships, as well as an increased sense of powerlessness, anxiety, and/or mood disorders.

Why am I guilt-tripping myself?

People with insecurities or low self-esteem may be more prone to making themselves feel guilty, even for things they didn’t do. They may also be quick to assume someone is blaming them when they're not.

“As human beings, we all want to be heard, seen, and valued,” Dr. Vermani says. But when someone has low-self-esteem, she continues, they're highly critical and look for reassurance that their negative thoughts are right. “By assuming guilt for things that they have not done and are not their responsibility, they validate the narrative that they are inadequate and unworthy of love,” she says.

Self-imposed guilt-trips can be taught, too. Narcissistic people in particular tend to impose this kind of thing on others, according to Dr. Kelley.

“It is difficult to believe your needs and boundaries are valid if you are made to feel less than or like something is wrong with you,” she says. “Guilt-tripping can cause an enmeshed view of the self where what we do becomes who we are—which is not a correct or a healthy way to view the self. If you feel you are constantly causing damage in your wake, it can create an ongoing self-dialogue that becomes internalized assumptions about one’s negative impact on the world around them.”

Dr. Irwin adds another possible contributing factor in that situation: “Many times, people with low self-value want to be liked, and they will accept poor treatment to keep that person in their life,” she says.

How to stop guilt-tripping yourself

Sometimes, you may give yourself a guilt trip. When that’s the case, how can you stop feeling guilty ?

Give yourself compassion

This act of self-love, alongside being mindful of what exactly is going on, is crucial, according to Dr. Kelley. More specifically, she encourages leaning into the growth mindset , or the idea that we can improve as human beings. “[Know] that mistakes happen to all of us and they are there to learn from.”

Ask yourself if the guilt is appropriate or excessive

One piece that can help with self-compassion and letting go of guilt is by asking yourself: Is it called for? “Appropriate guilt is when you do/say something out of line with your ethics and integrity,” Dr. Irwin explains. “It calls you to a higher level.”

Excessive guilt, on the other hand, is unnecessary and unhelpful. It’s also usually “manufactured by someone else in order to manipulate you or to invite you to hold their guilt for them,” Dr. Irwin continues.

Foster healthy habits in your relationships

Surrounding yourself with healthy relationships can be a great self-esteem booster. Dr. Kelley encourages finding people who encourage you, setting boundaries with those who don’t.

Additionally, implement other healthy communication skills when the situation calls for it. “Make amends when needed and then practice the stages of forgiveness for yourself, whether or not someone else is granting that for you,” she says. The stages of forgiveness often begin with acknowledging the hurt or offense caused, followed by understanding and accepting the pain it inflicted. Then, a willingness to let go of resentment and anger gradually emerges, leading to a state of compassion and empathy toward the offender, ultimately culminating in a sense of peace and closure.

Remind yourself of key truths about guilt

Feeling external guilt is a red-flag emotion, according to Dr. Vermani. But what does that mean, exactly?

“It is a sign that there is someone who wants something from you—either your time, your energy, or your resources—that is in direct conflict with what you want for yourself,” she says. “When people expect things from you that are different from what you want to do, guilt is that red flag that arises to tell you that there is a conflict that you have to resolve…that is to say, the difference between what somebody wants from you and what you want from yourself.”

Aim to live authentically

Continuing on her above point, Dr. Vermani encourages people to do what feels right to them first and foremost. “Our goal in life is to live authentically,” she says, “not to people-please and sacrifice our limited resources of time and energy for others.”

How do you respond to someone guilt-tripping you?

Recognize what’s happening.

Acknowledging the fact that the person is guilt-tripping you—and what that means about the relationship—can be helpful in and of itself. Dr. Vermani reminds it’s “a red flag indicating that someone wants something of you that is not in alignment with what you want for yourself”—and remember, your goal is to live for yourself, not others.

Another key truth about guilt-tripping: It’s wrong and unhelpful. “Realize that guilt trips are a form of verbal and/or nonverbal hurtful and manipulative communication,” she adds. You don’t need that in your life!

Assert your boundaries

When setting boundaries around your time and energy, try to remember your power and stay calm, knowing you did nothing wrong. “This issue is not your fault and you will not be held responsible for it,” Dr. Irwin says. “Don’t go on and on explaining…you lose power.”

She encourages speaking succinctly and making eye contact while setting and reinforcing your boundaries.

Consider whether the relationship is worth continuing

Besides setting boundaries, Dr. Kelley encourages assessing whether you want to have this relationship anymore. “If someone makes you feel you are at fault all the time, this is not a healthy dynamic, and the sooner you set a solid boundary, the less long-term damage the person can have on you and your self-esteem,” she points out.

Practice making mistakes and getting through them

Yep, you read that right—allow yourself to mess up! “Try new things and experience making mistakes on purpose and then surviving those mistakes,” Dr. Kelley says. After all, without failure, there is no growth.

Encourage conversations that move you forward

When someone is guilt-tripping you, they may go on and on about the mistake you made. Dr. Irwin urges refusing to get on their guilt train, even when you hurt them in some way.

“Assertively communicate to the person that you know you made a mistake, have apologized/corrected it, and wish to move on having learned from it,” she says. “No need to hang onto negative feelings.”

Work on your self-esteem

Boosting your level of self-esteem is another suggestion from Dr. Vermani that can serve as “armor” when a guilt-tripper is trying to tear you down. Spending time with people who make you feel good about yourself, challenging negative thoughts, avoiding “should statements,” and recognizing triggers are all helpful self-esteem exercises .

Remind yourself of your power and right to say “no”

You aren’t powerless here, nor do you need to “give in” to what the guilt-tripper is throwing at you. Dr. Vermani encourages working on getting comfortable with saying “no.” Besides simply saying the word, she continues, this may look like calling the person out. Show them you won’t allow them to treat you that way.

Work with a mental health professional

Let’s be real: Setting boundaries is easier said than done. If you’d like a little extra support, consider seeing a counselor. They can help you create positive change, Dr. Vermani says.

When to seek professional help

For Dr. Irwin, the answer is simple: “As soon as one or both parties are in enough pain.” Assess for any gut feelings signaling this.

Dr. Vermani shares additional signs, including:

• Experiencing extreme distress or mental health concerns
• Noticing your day-to-day functioning is negatively impacted
• Realizing you’re engaging in manipulative behavior
• Struggling with feelings of low self-worth and hopelessness

A more proactive approach may be your best bet, though, according to Dr. Kelley. She encourages seeing a professional ahead of time, saying “before it even feels problematic, as I believe we all deserve an amazing support system and therapist in our corner.”

Otherwise, she continues, reach out when you feel like you’re losing parts of yourself or distancing yourself from other healthy relationships. Remind yourself regularly that you deserve better.

• Tilghman-Osborne, Carlos et al. “Definition and measurement of guilt: Implications for clinical research and practice.”  Clinical psychology review  vol. 30,5 (2010): 536-46. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.007

Loading More Posts...

The Beach Is My Happy Place—and Here Are 3 Science-Backed Reasons It Should Be Yours, Too

Your official excuse to add "OOD" (ahem, out of doors) to your cal.

4 Mistakes That Are Causing You to Waste Money on Skin-Care Serums, According to an Esthetician

These Are the Best Anti-Chafing Denim Shorts—According to Some Very Happy Reviewers

{{ successMessage }}

Please wait a moment...

• Bipolar Disorder
• Therapy Center
• When To See a Therapist
• Types of Therapy
• Best Online Therapy
• Best Couples Therapy
• Best Family Therapy
• Managing Stress
• Sleep and Dreaming
• Understanding Emotions
• Self-Improvement
• Healthy Relationships
• Student Resources
• Personality Types
• Guided Meditations
• Verywell Mind Insights
• 2023 Verywell Mind 25
• Mental Health in the Classroom
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Review Board
• Crisis Support

What Is Guilt Tripping?

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

damircudic / Getty Images

• Getting Help

Frequently Asked Questions

A guilt trip means causing another person to feel guilt or a sense of responsibility to change their behavior or take a specific action. Because guilt can be such a powerful motivator of human behavior, people can wield it as a tool to change how others think, feel, and behave. 

Sometimes this might involve leaning on something that someone already feels guilty about. In other cases, people might induce feelings of unjustified guilt or responsibility to manipulate the other person's emotions and behaviors.

If someone has ever made you feel bad about something you’ve done (or didn’t do) and then used those bad feelings to get you to do something for them, then you have experience with guilt tripping.

This article discusses the signs, types, and impact of guilt trips. It also covers some of the steps you can take to cope with this type of behavior.

Signs of a Guilt Trip

Guilt trips can be intentional, but they can also be unintentional. There are chances that you have even guilt-tripped people into doing things before.

Sometimes guilt tripping behavior can be easy to spot, but it can also be much more subtle and difficult to detect.  Some key signs that others may be guilt-tripping you include:

• Making comments suggesting that you have not done as much work as they have done
• Bringing up mistakes that you have made in the past
• Reminding you of favors they have performed for you in the past
• Acting as if they are angry but then denying that there is a problem
• Refusing to speak to you or giving you the silent treatment
• Making it clear through their body language , tone of voice, and facial expressions that they disapprove of what you were doing
• Suggesting that you “owe” them
• Engaging in passive-aggressive behavior
• Making sarcastic comments about your efforts or progress

It is important to note that this type of indirect communication can occur in any interpersonal relationship. Still, it is more likely to take place in relationships that are marked by close emotional connections.

It can show up in romantic relationships, but guilt trips may also be utilized in family relationships, parental relationships, and even work relationships.

Types of Guilt Tripping

There are many different types of guilt trips that people may utilize depending on the ultimate goal or purpose of the behavior. Some of the different purposes of a guilt trip include:

• Manipulation : Sometimes, the primary goal of a guilt trip is to manipulate someone into doing something that they normally would not want to do.  
• Conflict avoidance : In other cases, people may use guilt trips to avoid directly talking about an issue. It allows them to get what they want without having to engage in direct conflict.
• Moral education : Guilt trips can also be a way of getting someone to engage in a behavior that the individual feels is more moral or “right.”
• Elicit sympathy : In some cases, guilt-tripping allows the individual to gain the sympathy of others by casting themselves in the role of someone who has been harmed by the actions the other person is supposed to feel guilty about.

Guilt isn't always a bad thing. While often troubling and unpleasant, it can serve an important role in guiding moral behavior. When people experience guilt, they can fix their mistakes and avoid repeating the same errors in the future.

Researcher Courtney Humeny

A guilt trip does not appear to induce the benefits of guilt, such as making amends, honesty, and mutual understanding.

Impact of Guilt Trips

Invoking feelings of guilt to change someone’s behavior can have a wide variety of effects. Whether guilt is wielded intentionally or not, it prevents healthy communication and connections with others. Some of the most immediate effects of this form of covert psychological manipulation include:

Damage to Relationships

Research suggests that guilt trips can take a toll on close relationships. One study found that people hurt by their partner's criticism were more likely to use those hurt feelings to make their partner feel guilty and offer reassurances.

However, the study also found that the partner who had been guilt-tripped into offering assurances was more likely to feel significantly worse about the relationship.

In other words, inducing feelings of guilt may work to get your partner to do what you want—but it comes at a cost. It can impair trust and cause the other person to feel that they are being manipulated. 

One of the reasons why guilt trips can poison relationships is because they can lead to lasting feelings of resentment.

"A guilt trip imposes aversive states associated with guilt, along with feelings of resentment from feeling manipulated," Humeny suggests.

A single occasion of someone using a guilt trip to alter your behavior might not have a serious impact on your relationship. Repeated use of guilt trips can leave you feeling bitter.

If you feel that your partner is always going to guilt you into something that you don't want to do, it can decrease intimacy, reduce emotional closeness, and ultimately make you start to resent your partner.

Research suggests that appeals to guilt are a common type of persuasion technique . However, while guilt can compel people to take certain actions, it can also sometimes backfire.

Low-level guilt tends to motivate people to act on the persuasive message. High levels of guilt, however, often fail due to what researchers call "reactance." 

"An individual in a state of reactance will behave in such a way as to restore his freedom (or, at least, his sense of freedom), for example, by performing behaviors that are contrary to those required," explain researchers Aurélien Graton and Melody Mailliez in a 2019 article published in the journal Behavioral Sciences .

In other words, guilt trips can backfire and lead people to behave opposite how someone else wants them to act. For example, someone guilt-tripping you into calling them more often might actually result in calling them less.

Poor Well-being

Feelings of excessive guilt are associated with several mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression , and obsessive-compulsive disorder . Being subjected to guilt trips may contribute to the development or worsening of such conditions.

Experiencing guilt can also lead to many immediate and unpleasant emotions and symptoms such as anxiety, sadness, regret, worry, muscle tension, and insomnia.

This type of covert manipulation may also sometimes contribute to the development of a guilt complex , which is a persistent belief that you have done (or will do) something wrong.

Over time, guilt can lead to feelings of shame. Shame can affect your self-image, which can then contribute to social withdrawal and isolation.

How to Cope With Guilt Tripping

There are a number of tactics that can be helpful when dealing with a guilt trip. Some steps you can take include:

• Acknowledge the request. Let them know that you understand that it is important to them. Responding with empathy and showing that you see their needs may help them feel that they are not simply being ignored. Validating their emotions may help lessen the intensity of those feelings.
• Share your feelings . Explain that you also see how they are trying to make you feel guilty so that you'll do what they want. Then tell them how that type of manipulation makes you feel. Suggest that interacting in that way will lead to resentment and that more direct communication forms would be more effective. 
• Set boundaries . Boundaries help set limits on what you will and will not accept. Even if you do end up helping them with their request, make sure you clearly articulate your limits and explain the consequences of crossing those boundaries. Then be sure that you enforce those limits if they are crossed.

Other things that you can use include protecting your self-esteem and distancing yourself if needed. You're more likely to fall for a guilt trip if you already feel poorly about yourself, so find strategies to build up your sense of self-worth. 

If the other person keeps trying to manipulate you with feelings of guilt, reduce your communication with them or even consider ending the relationship.

Protecting your own well-being should be a top priority. A person who tries to manipulate you with toxic feelings of shame and guilt does not have your best interests at heart.

Getting Help for Guilt

If you are experiencing feelings of guilt or related symptoms of anxiety, stress, or depression, talk to your health care provider or a mental health professional. They can recommend treatment options such as psychotherapy or medications that can help manage symptoms and improve the quality of your life.

Your doctor or therapist may suggest a type of therapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) , which may help reduce inappropriate guilt feelings. This type of therapy can help you identify and change the negative thoughts and cognitive distortions that can contribute to feelings of guilt.

Your therapist can also help you learn to recognize the signs of a guilt trip—and help you practice strategies to cope with this type of emotional manipulation.

An example of guilt tripping might be your friend calling you and saying, "I know you are too busy with work to hang out. I'll just spend the evening by myself. I just thought that since I helped you get that job you would make sure to make a little more time for me." This type of comment is designed to induce feelings of guilt and bring up the idea that you "owe" them in some way.

Guilt tripping is often designed to manipulate other people by preying on their emotions and feelings of guilt or responsibility. This can be a form of toxic behavior that can have detrimental effects on a person's well-being as well as their relationships.

While both behaviors are destructive and toxic, they differ in key ways. Gaslighting is a type of emotional abuse that involves denying another person's reality and making them question their own experiences. Guilt tripping, on the other hand, is about causing another person to feel guilty in order to get them to change their behavior.

Humeny C. A qualitative investigation of a guilt trip . Conference: Institute of Cognitive Science Spring Proceedings.

Overall NC, Girme YU, Lemay EP Jr, Hammond MD. Attachment anxiety and reactions to relationship threat: the benefits and costs of inducing guilt in romantic partners . J Pers Soc Psychol . 2014;106(2):235-56. doi:10.1037/a0034371

Aurélien G, Melody M. A theory of guilt appeals: a review showing the importance of investigating cognitive processes as mediators between emotion and behavior .  Behav Sci (Basel) . 2019;9(12):117. doi:10.3390/bs9120117

Tilghman-Osborne C, Cole DA, Felton JW.  Definition and measurement of guilt: Implications for clinical research and practice .  Clin Psychol Rev . 2010;30(5):536-546. doi:10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.007

Miceli M, Castelfranchi C.  Reconsidering the differences between shame and guilt .  Eur J Psychol . 2018;14(3):710-733. doi:10.5964/ejop.v14i3.1564

Herr NR, Jones AC, Cohn DM, Weber DM.  The impact of validation and invalidation on aggression in individuals with emotion regulation difficulties .  Personal Disord . 2015;6(4):310-4. doi:10.1037/per0000129

Cleantis T. Boundaries and self-care . Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation.

Hedman E, Ström P, Stünkel A, Mörtberg E. Shame and guilt in social anxiety disorder: effects of cognitive behavior therapy and association with social anxiety and depressive symptoms . PLoS One . 2013;8(4):e61713. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0061713

Johnson VE, Nadal KL, Sissoko DRG, King R. "It's not in your head": Gaslighting, 'splaining, victim blaming, and other harmful reactions to microaggressions .  Perspect Psychol Sci . 2021;16(5):1024-1036. doi:10.1177/17456916211011963

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Electrostal History and Art Museum

Most Recent: Reviews ordered by most recent publish date in descending order.

Detailed Reviews: Reviews ordered by recency and descriptiveness of user-identified themes such as wait time, length of visit, general tips, and location information.

Electrostal History and Art Museum - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (2024)

• (0.19 mi) Elektrostal Hotel
• (1.21 mi) Yakor Hotel
• (1.27 mi) Mini Hotel Banifatsiy
• (1.18 mi) Elemash
• (1.36 mi) Hotel Djaz
• (0.07 mi) Prima Bolshogo
• (0.13 mi) Makecoffee
• (0.25 mi) Amsterdam Moments
• (0.25 mi) Pechka
• (0.26 mi) Mazhor

Na Ulitse Yalagina 13B Apartments

Property Policies

Frequently asked questions, how much does it cost to stay at na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments, what are the check-in and check-out times at na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments provide airport transfer services, what amenities and services does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments have, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments have a swimming pool, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments have fitness amenities, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments provide wi-fi, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments have non-smoking rooms, does na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments have a restaurant, is parking available at na ulitse yalagina 13b apartments, popular hotels, popular attractions, explore more.

On first day of testimony in murder trial, officer says Karen Read said ‘this is all my fault.’ Here’s a recap.

T he murder trial of Karen Read , the Mansfield woman accused of backing her SUV into her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O’Keefe , and leaving him for dead during a blizzard in Canton in January 2022 after a night of heavy drinking, began on Monday.

Paul O’Keefe, John O’Keefe’s brother, was the first witness to take the stand. Paul’s wife, Erin, and Canton Police officer Steven Saraf testified after him. Earlier Monday, prosecutor Adam Lally and defense attorney David Yannetti delivered their statements.

Read has pleaded not guilty to charges of second-degree murder, manslaughter while operating under the influence of alcohol, and leaving the scene of personal injury or death.

Advertisement

Here’s how Monday’s proceedings unfolded.

Plus, read more coverage:

• What to know about Read , O’Keefe , the lawyers in the case , and the judge, Beverly Cannone
• See key court documents in the case, including prosecution and defense arguments

First day of testimony concludes in Read trial — 3:57 p.m.

By Travis Andersen, Globe Staff

Testimony ended with Officer Saraf still on the stand. The defense will cross examine him on Tuesday.

”Please do not discuss this case with anyone,” Judge Cannone told jurors. “Don’t do any independent research or investigation into this case. If you happen to see, hear, or read anything about this case, please disregard it and let us know.”

Officer Saraf describes more footage — 3:54 p.m.

Saraf pointed to the area on his cruiser camera video where he saw Read, the two other women, and O’Keefe’s body. As the footage played, a female voice can be heard screaming in the background. A distressed Read appears on camera at one point, frantically moving around the area while at times bringing her hands to her head and face.

Footprints around O’Keefe’s body — 3:35 p.m.

Officer Saraf said there were “footprints and track marks” around O’Keefe’s body but “none coming from the residence.”

The footprints, he said, were “basically all around him, because people were walking around him.” He said he asked Read what happened and “she couldn’t really tell me too much about what happened. ... She was very upset.” He said one of the other women told him they had all been “drinking in a couple bars downtown.”

Saraf recounts Karen Read’s behavior at the scene — 3:29 p.m.

Saraf testified that he observed Read giving CPR to O’Keefe when he arrived on scene.

”She had blood on her face,” he said. He went to retrieve his AED device from his cruiser, he said, but fire officials arrived “and they took care of Mr. O’Keefe.”

When Saraf first arrived, he said, O’Keefe had blood on his face that was “wiped away.” Read during that time “was visibly upset,” Saraf said. “She kept saying ‘this is all my fault. This is all my fault. I did this.’ And she was very hysterical.” Read, Saraf said, kept asking if O’Keefe was dead. “I just said they’re doing the best that they can,” Saraf said.

Officer Saraf on O’Keefe: ‘I couldn’t find a pulse’ — 3:22 p.m.

Officer Saraf testified that when he first approached O’Keefe’s body he asked the women if he was having a drug-related issue, and someone responded no, telling Saraf that O’Keefe was a Boston officer.

”I couldn’t find any pulse or anything like that,” he said. “And he was cold to the touch. ... He was lying on his back.” O’Keefe’s body was located on the left side of the property, Saraf said. “I would say it was near blizzard conditions. It was snowing really, really hard.”

Police officer recounts responding to scene — 3:19 p.m.

Saraf said “it was snowing pretty good” a little after 6 a.m. when he responded to the scene, and that “it was dark out.” He said workers were plowing the roads at that time, and that “the roads were definitely slippery. It took me a while to get to the destination.”

He said he used a hand-held spotlight to try to locate the house on Fairview. “As I got to my destination I saw three people on the lawn in the snow waving at me.” He said three women, including Read, were present, as well as a “male subject on the ground,” whom he later learned was O’Keefe. He said he did not know O’Keefe previously.

Canton police Officer Steve Saraf takes the stand — 3:12 p.m.

Officer Steven Saraf of the Canton police took the stand next for prosecutors. A 27-year veteran of the force, he said he was working a midnight to 8 a.m. shift on the day O’Keefe died. He said he received a call for a person unconscious outside 34 Fairview Road in Canton. He said Fairview Road is in west sector, an area he was typically assigned to patrol.

Erin O’Keefe describes text from Read on Jan. 28 — 3:00 p.m.

On the afternoon of Jan. 28, Read texted her to ask if she was out without her husband, she testified. At the time, she was waiting for her daughter’s school bus to arrive.

”I asked her if everything was okay, if something was up,” she said. “And she responded, ‘just another day, I wish I didn’t talk to an O’Keefe after 2004,” when they briefly dated. “She said that he spoiled them,” referring to the children.

Erin O’Keefe discussed Aruba trip — 2:55 p.m.

Lally also asked her about the large family trip to Aruba a month before the fatal crash. She said Read had texted her on the flight down that the flight attendants were named Karen and Erin, like the two of them. Erin O’Keefe said Read later indicated that she and John O’Keefe had argued about Read’s belief that he’d kissed the other woman.

Erin O’Keefe says Read spent time at O’Keefe’s house — 2:51 p.m.

Read was at O’Keefe’s house for “the majority of the time” they were together, but not always, she said.

”I do know that she liked to go home on Mondays just to kind of have a fresh time by herself and Thursday, she was teaching an online class, so she would be home on Thursdays as well,” she said.

Lally asked if she was aware of any issues the couple had. “I think normal relationship stuff everyone goes through,” she said. “My in-laws being there often could be stressful.” She said Read indicated at one point that if she and John O’Keefe ever broke up, “she hoped that she and I would stay friends.”

Erin O’Keefe says John O’Keefe became guardian — 2:44 p.m.

John O’Keefe became the legal guardian of his niece and nephew, she testified. She said John O’Keefe had two long-term relationships after becoming their guardian, first with a woman named Amy and later with Read. She identified Read in court: “Black or blue blazer,” she said when asked to point to the defendant. Asked what legal rights Read had in respect to the children, she said, “Legal? None.”

Erin O’Keefe discusses sister-in-law — 2:40 p.m.

Erin O’Keefe said her sister-in-law, Kristen, received a cancer diagnosis in 2013 and died six months later. Kristen’s husband died two months later, leaving the two children parentless.

”Paul and Johnny went out to lunch one day, and we had kind of assumed because Johnny was out, you know, on the streets doing his job, that Paul and I would take the kids and Johnny said he was going to do it.”

Erin O’Keefe takes stand — 2:36 p.m.

The prosecution’s next witness is Erin O’Keefe, Paul O’Keefe’s wife and John’s sister-in-law. Among the O’Keefe siblings “Kristen was the oldest, Johnny was next, and Paul being the youngest,” she said. O’Keefe’s niece is “16 now” and his nephew is 13.

Paul O’Keefe discusses shoveling — 2:30 p.m.

Lally also played a video clip of Paul O’Keefe shoveling his brother’s driveway on Jan. 29 as a heavy snow fell. O’Keefe said he did not recall police arriving at the home that day. Lally also showed video footage of O’Keefe leaving his brother’s home on the evening of the 29, this time with just his sibling’s vehicle and his own visible on the tape.

Paul O’Keefe testifies about car layout — 2:23 p.m.

Assistant District Attorney Adam Lally also showed O’Keefe video footage from the morning of Jan. 29 that depicted his brother’s car on the right side of the snowy driveway, with Read’s vehicle to its left. He said his vehicle was positioned behind his brother’s.

Paul O’Keefe describes his brother’s house — 2:08 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe was shown a photo of his brother’s home on Meadows Lane in Canton and explained the dimensions of the driveway on the side of the home. He said his brother “had a 1971 Ford LTD” convertible on the left side of the garage and his other vehicle was typically parked on the right side.

Paul O’Keefe returns to the stand — 2:00 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe returned to the stand at 2 p.m. He testified that he didn’t speak with Read or her relatives when they were at his brother’s house on the morning of Jan. 29.

Judge announces recess — 1:00 p.m.

By Sean Cotter, Globe Staff

Cannone announced the court will be in recess until 2 p.m. The jury left first, then O’Keefe’s family, then Read’s.

Paul O’Keefe discusses Read’s arrival at the house — 12:59 p.m.

He said Read arrived at his brother’s house about 20 minutes later with her father, and that her brother and his wife arrived later.

”When Karen and her father arrived I was shoveling the walkway out front,” he said, adding that Read stayed for about a half hour. Read and her father went upstairs at one point and came back down about 15 minutes later with some of her belongings.

”They got in their cars and drove back to Dighton,” where Read’s parents live, he said.

Paul O’Keefe testifies about ride back from hospital — 12:53 p.m.

He said weather conditions that day were treacherous.

”Probably the worst driving conditions I’ve driven in as far as weather,” he testified. The family returned to his brother’s Canton home late on the morning of Jan. 29. “Karen Read called me and asked me if it was okay to come over and just see the kids and I said ‘sure,’” he said.

Paul O’Keefe describes Read’s continued ranting at hospital — 12:49 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe said the family again saw Read in the hospital after they viewed his brother’s body. She kept screaming “Is he alive,” and at one point, “I actually blew her a kiss,” he said. He said he thought Read “was a good influence on my niece and nephew. I appreciated all the help that she was providing my brother with the kids.”

Paul O’Keefe describes brother’s injuries — 12:47 p.m.

O’Keefe paused briefly when asked to describe his brother’s injuries at the hospital. “He was pretty banged up,” he said. “His eyes had swelled up” and blood was coming down his mouth. “What really stood out to me was, you know, the eyes,” he said. “It was almost as if, like, there were ping pong balls under his eyelids.”

Paul O’Keefe describes last message to his brother, John O’Keefe — 12:37 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe said he and his brother planned on getting together on Jan. 29, 2022, but “a big snow storm hit the area,” and they decided “it’s probably better” to “just stay home and off the roads,” so they canceled the planned get together the night before.

On Jan. 28, a Friday, Paul O’Keefe’s daughters had basketball games, he testified. They returned home around 8:30 p.m., he said. He said he “noticed the first flurries” of snow between 10:30 p.m. and 11 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe also described his last communication with his brother, a group text with family members on the afternoon of the Jan. 28. “He was excited because our niece ... had gotten accepted to Bishop Feehan High School,” he said.

At 6:40 a.m. on Jan. 29, he said, he got a call from his mother, who told him, “something happened to your brother,” and that he was found in the snow. “The only thing I was able to get [at the hospital] was that he was cold and they needed to warm him up.”

Paul O’Keefe discusses Read on stand — 12:27 p.m.

Paul O’Keefe said he first met Read in May 2020 and that his brother and Read “very briefly” dated previously in 2004.

“I believe my brother reached out to her in March of 2020, right at the beginning of COVID.” He said Read would stay at John O’Keefe’s home three or four times each week. During the pandemic, he said, “Karen would be at home with the kids during the day while she worked remotely.”

Paul O’Keefe said his brother rarely discussed any relationship issues he was having with Read. John O’Keefe, his brother testified, objected to Read spending “a lot of money on the kids” for gifts, and there were also arguments over what she fed the children.

During one vacation on a 2021 trip to the Cape, he said, he witnessed a verbal argument between Read and his sibling, describing it as “an intense fight.”

He said he recalled Read complaining his brother “wasn’t nice to her,” and that “I was kind of the referee in that entire situation.”

Paul O’Keefe takes stand — 12:20 p.m.

By Travis Andersen and Sean Cotter, Globe Staff

The prosecution’s first witness was Paul O’Keefe, John O’Keefe’s younger brother. He said John O’Keefe took in his niece and nephew when they were 6 and 3 after both their parents died from cancer. He struggled to maintain his composure when prosecutor Adam Lally asked him to name his siblings growing up and he paused momentarily before referencing his late sister and “my brother John.” Everyone called him Johnny, he said, “especially if you were family.”

Several jurors took notes as testimony began. Any who wished had been provided with notebooks.

During a break, Yannetti speaks with Read’s father — 11:59 a.m.

During a break, Yannetti speaks with Read’s father for a few minutes. After openings, Yannetti spoke with Read’s father for a few minutes. As prosecutors and defense lawyers talked quietly to each other during the break, Read talked to a couple of her relatives, giving them a smile.Several of the 10 or so family members on each side of the courtroom had brought seat cushions for the hard wooden seats. The trial is expected to last as long as two months.

Defense says prosecution won’t prevail — 11:54 a.m.

As his opening drew to a close, Read defense attorney David Yannetti reiterated that his client was “framed, and the evidence shows that.” He said prosecutors “will fail to prove this case beyond a reasonable doubt. ... You will reasonably doubt their case because Karen Read was framed.” The attorneys on both sides approached Cannone at sidebar after Yannetti concluded. The first government witness is expected to take the stand shortly.

Driver who plowed the street did not see O’Keefe’s body that night, Yanetti says — 11:46 a.m.

Yannetti said Read’s defense team interviewed a plow driver that police never spoke to. The driver said that when he plowed the street around 2:30 a.m., he did not see anyone’s body lying in the yard, according to Yannetti. A short time later, the plow driver said he saw a truck parked near where the body was found.

”The Commonwealth will not be able to dispute any of those facts,” Yannetti said.

He said O’Keefe’s body looked as if he “had been attacked and beaten up.” He said an expert will testify that some of his injuries looked like scratch marks and claw marks consistent with an attack from a German Shepherd.

Yanetti says ‘car did not cause’ O’Keefe’s arm injuries — 11:44 a.m.

Yanetti told jurors that scratch marks on O’Keefe’s arm couldn’t have come from a vehicle. “You’ll take one look at that arm, and you will conclude that a car did not cause those injuries,” he said. He said the Albert family had a German shepherd named Chloe who was “rehomed” after Brian Albert testified before the grand jury.

Yannetti disputes time of Google search — 11:36 a.m.

Yannetti told the jury a defense expert will testify that the woman who searched “hos [sic] long to die in cold” actually Googled that on her phone at 2:27 a.m., not four hours later at Read’s request as prosecutors maintain.

Yannetti says Read woke up ‘in a panic’ — 11:30 a.m.

Yannetti told jurors Read “had a sinking feeling” that something was wrong when she woke up at O’Keefe’s home around 4 a.m. and saw he had not come home. When she later backed out of the driveway, her taillight hit O’Keefe’s car, he said, an assertion that prosecutors dispute. “You will witness the wheels and the hubcaps on John’s car jostle and move” on surveillance video, he said.

Jurors listen to defense opening — 11:26 a.m.

Defense attorney David Yannetti provided a more colorful opening than prosecutor Adam Lally, leading with “Karen Read was framed” as he spoke loudly to the jurors from the podium. The jurors appeared to listen intently, as they had to Lally. Off to the side, a few of Read’s family members periodically nodded or shook their heads as Yannetti described different parts of the case and claimed various investigators were conflicted, including Trooper Michael Proctor, an investigator on the case. “Michael Proctor predetermined the outcome of this case,” he said.

Yannetti describes Proctor texts about Read

On the day of O’Keefe’s death, Proctor texted his friends that he hoped Read “would kill herself” and seized her phone, Yannetti said. He “told his high school buddies that he was searching for nude photos of Karen Read,” Yannetti said. When a friend texted back that the homeowner would catch “a lot of grief” for a body being found on his lawn, Proctor replied, “nope,” since the homeowner was also a Boston police officer. “His fingerprints are all over the Commonwealth’s evidence,” Yannetti said.

Yannetti faults State Police probe — 11:19 a.m.

Yannetti told jurors that the lead State Police detective on the case, Michael Proctor, has “deep ties” to the Albert family and never asked Brian Albert for permission to enter the home the morning O’Keefe died. “He focused exclusively on Karen Read, the outsider,” Yannetti said. “Karen Read was a convenient outsider.”

Defense lawyer David Yannetti says ‘Karen Read was framed’ — 11:14 a.m.

In his opening statement, Yannetti told jurors Karen Read was “framed for a murder she did not commit.” He said it was “no accident” that O’Keefe was found dead on the lawn of the home owned by the Alberts, a family connected to law enforcement. “You will learn, in short, that the police did no real investigation of the case, and you will question why. ... You will question why they focused solely on Karen Read.”

Lally describes forensic evidence — 11:12 a.m.

Lally told jurors they’ll hear testimony that DNA “on the defendant’s taillight is consistent with Mr. O’Keefe.” A hair found on the bumper was also “consistent with” O’Keefe, Lally said. There will also be testimony about swelling around O’Keefe’s eyes and bleeding on his brain. He said O’Keefe was knocked to the ground by the impact of Read’s SUV, causing him to hit his head on the ground, which caused the swelling.

Lally describes Aruba trip — 11:04 a.m.

About a month before the crash, Read, O’Keefe, and O’Keefe’s niece and nephew joined a larger group for a trip to Aruba, Lally said. During that trip, he said, Read became angry when she thought he was “making out” with another woman who had greeted him with a hug. The niece and nephew later witnessed a “20-minute screaming match” in the hotel room between O’Keefe and Read.

Lally says no one saw O’Keefe go inside the home — 11:01 a.m.

Lally told jurors that no one inside the home on Fairview Road in Canton saw O’Keefe enter the residence where the afterparty was being held. Around 4:30 a.m., Read entered O’Keefe’s niece’s room “in a frantic state” saying that O’Keefe hadn’t come home, Lally said. Read later showed two other women who arrived at O’Keefe’s home the damage to her rear taillight before they drove back to Fairview Road to search for O’Keefe. Read saw him in the blizzard, but the other two women initially did not. While they waited for paramedics, Read asked one of the women shortly after 6:20 a.m. to Google how long it takes to die in the cold, Lally said.

Jury listens closely to prosecution’s opening statement — 10:50 a.m.

As Lally delivered his opening statement, the 17 members of the jury appeared to be listening intently, some with their heads slightly cocked as they took in Lally’s detailed descriptions of the events leading up to O’Keefe’s death, the relationship between Read and O’Keefe, and the discovery of O’Keefe’s body in the snow. He talked about the witnesses who will testify and what evidence the jury will hear from people who knew the couple and were with them that night.

Lally describes scene to jurors — 10:46 a.m.

Lally told jurors Read repeatedly confessed her guilt to emergency responders at the scene. “The defendant stated repeatedly, ‘I hit him, I hit him, I hit him,’ " Lally said. O’Keefe was later pronounced dead at Good Samaritan Medical Center, Lally said. Read later made statements related to self-harm and when she was driven to the hospital as a result she indicated that she and O’Keefe had gotten into an argument the night before, Lally said.

Fifth Amendment protects defendants from double jeopardy — 10:38 a.m.

By John R. Ellement, Globe Staff

Read’s Fifth Amendment protection against double jeopardy took effect when Assistant Clerk Magistrate James McDermott swore the jury in. If she is acquitted by the jury, she cannot be tried again for these charges under the constitutional ban on people being repeatedly prosecuted for the same offense.

”The prohibition against double jeopardy protects primarily ‘against three specific evils — a second prosecution for the same offense after acquittal; a second prosecution for the same offense after conviction; and multiple punishments for the same offense,’ " the Supreme Judicial Court concluded in a 2020 ruling.

Lally recalls John O’Keefe in opening statement — 10:37 a.m.

Prosecutor Adam Lally began his opening statement by telling jurors that O’Keefe grew up in Braintree and took in his niece and nephew several years ago when their parents both died of cancer. O’Keefe was a “proud member of the Boston Police Department,” and “raised these children” for about eight years, he said. His niece was about 14 and nephew was around 11 when O’Keefe died, Lally said.

The courtroom is quiet as jury hears instructions — 10:35 a.m.

The small but crowded wood-paneled courtroom was quiet as Cannone spoke to the jurors. Those assembled were quiet, save for the click-click of reporters typing on laptops and the chirping of birds outside the open window. Cannone’s soft speaking voice intoned much the same information as she had told the pools of hundreds of prospective jurors over the past two weeks. “This trial will be decided by you,” Cannone said, “A jury free from outside interference.”

Jurors will be allowed to have notebooks during trial — 10:32 a.m.

Cannone told jurors they’ll be permitted to take notes during the trial, but their notebooks will be kept secured at the end of each day of testimony. She said the notebooks will be placed in a confidential area every day, and that they’ll be destroyed after trial. Taking notes isn’t required, she said. “Some jurors may feel that notes are helpful,” Cannone said. “Other jurors may feel that note taking is a distraction and may interfere with hearing and evaluating the evidence.”

Cannone advises jurors to pay close attention to testimony — 10:26 a.m.

Cannone urged jurors to pay close attention to the testimony. “That is the best way to ensure that you decide this case based on the evidence and the law, instead of upon unsupported assumptions,” Cannone said. Jurors should take each witness’s testimony on a case-by-case basis, she said. “Consider them as individuals rather than as members of a particular group ... Finally, I might ask myself, would I view the evidence differently if the people were from different groups, such as different racial, ethnic, or gender identity groups?”

Judge addresses the jury — 10:19 a.m.

After jurors were sworn in, the clerk read out the charges and Cannone informed them that “the defendant starts this trial presumed to be innocent.”

Only the jury, Cannone said — “in other words, you folks” — will decide whether the government has proven its case. She told jurors a charge is proved beyond a reasonable doubt “if, after you have compared and considered all the evidence, you have in your mind an abiding conviction to a moral certainty that the charge is true.”

Court is in session — 10:16 a.m.

Seventeen members of the jury came in around 10:10 a.m. It appears that 10 are women.

Cannone enters and a court staffer announces the session is now beginning. “God save the Commonwealth and this good court,” he says. “Thank you, and this court is now in session.”

Judge Cannone enters the courtroom — 9:58 a.m.

Cannone entered the courtroom just before 10 a.m. and began a quiet sidebar conversation with the lawyers.

A look inside the courtroom — 9:47 a.m.

The snug courtroom that Judge Beverly Cannone moved the trial to last week held only a small collection of people. A half dozen members of Read’s family sat behind her, and O’Keefe’s loved ones sat on the side.

A dozen media members and courtroom staff rounded out the room.

Read, clad in a black dress, talked quietly with members of her family, including her father, Bill, and brother, Nathan, as she waited for court to come into session.

Karen Read enters the courthouse — 9:20 a.m.

Read walked through the media gauntlet, entering the courtroom as someone yelled “We love you, Karen.” Several supporters followed, each wearing an article of clothing in some hue of pink.

Before Read’s entrance, the crowd of pink-clad supporters grew, swelling into the dozens on the edge of the 200-foot buffer zone from the courthouse. Some waved flags and others held “Free Karen Read” signs.

Read supporters have taken to wearing pink during court sessions since they are not allowed to wear clothing or buttons that refer to the case.

There’s a 200-foot buffer zone outside the courthouse — 8:58 a.m.

The judge presiding over the case ruled earlier this month that she’ll implement a 200-foot buffer zone to keep demonstrators a distance from the courthouse.

In her ruling, Judge Beverly J. Cannone said that a government request to keep protesters at least 500 feet away is “far too excessive.”

Read the full story.

Jury was finalized last week — 8:50 a.m.

By Sean Cotter and Travis Andersen, Globe Staff

A jury of 12 plus four alternates will decide Read’s fate.

Jury selection ran five days and churned through about 500 potential jurors. A heavy majority of the potential jurors who were summoned to Norfolk Superior said they’d heard of the Read case, and about a quarter said they’d formed an opinion on it, leading many to be excused.

A look at the scene outside the courthouse — 8:43 a.m.

By 6 a.m., the media frenzy was well underway.

At each of the corners of Ames and High streets, TV reporters were speaking into cameras, brows furrowed. A line of press had already formed outside of Norfolk Superior Court under the morning sun four hours before openings were scheduled to start.

Catch up on the key players in the case — 8:31 a.m.

By Globe Staff

Here’s what to know about Read , O’Keefe , the lawyers in the case , and the judge, Beverly Cannone .

The case has drawn heavy media coverage — 8:26 a.m.

The case has drawn heavy media coverage and become a topic of intense speculation.

Aidan Kearney, a controversial blogger known as Turtleboy, has aggressively championed Read’s claims of innocence and faces separate charges of allegedly harassing and intimidating witnesses in the case. He has pleaded not guilty and will be allowed to attend the trial.

A brief primer on the case — 8:20 a.m.

Karen Read, 44, is accused of intentionally backing her car into her boyfriend, John O’Keefe, a Boston police officer, and leaving him for dead outside a Canton home during a blizzard after a night of bar hopping.

Read’s lawyers maintain she’s being framed as part of a massive police coverup and that O’Keefe was actually beaten by people at the Canton home and his body left outside during the snowstorm on Jan. 29, 2022. His body was discovered the following morning on the snowy front lawn of the home, which was then owned by a fellow Boston police officer.

The trial is being held in Norfolk Superior Court and is expected to take several weeks. Read has pleaded not guilty.