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Cruise ship tracker / tracking map live.

Track Cruise Ships Live / Real-time Cruise Ship Tracking

Track a specific cruise ship live by searching for it by name below or by selecting it from the cruise line options below. Tracking a specific cruise ship will give you additional details like the ship's current location, recent track, speed, course, next port destination, estimated time of arrival (ETA) and more.

Track A Specific Cruise Ship

If you know the ship you want to track, enter the cruise ship name or cruise line name in the search box below. Then select the ship from the available search results.

Track A Cruise Ship From One Of These 103 Cruise Lines

First select the cruise line below. You will then be shown a list of cruise ships that are available for tracking within that cruise line.

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Cruise Ship Tracker, Live Map Ship Tracking

• Move your mouse or finger over the vessel for live data.
• Click a ship for even more sailing details and real-time information.
• Zoom in close enough and you’ll see the ship moving in real-time.

Live Cruise Ship Tracker

Here, you can check the current location of cruise ships worldwide. You can use this real-time cruise live ship tracker to know where your desired vessel is. You’ll be able to see your current ship position and activity. Follow the vessel as it is docked in port and anchored, and even see live speed data in real-time via an interactive world map,

Cruise Ship Tracker

AIS ship tracking is a great way to stay up-to-date on the location of marine vessels. Using the AIS system, you can track the progress of a ship as it travels from port to port. This information can be beneficial for planning your  travel  itinerary and following your ship during your cruise vacation. Every cruise line follows its vessels to keep tabs on their time of arrival and current position as well as other items that might cause delays, such as weather or other marine traffic.

Want to stay up-to-date on cruise ship locations?

The AIS system is a network of transponders that sends information like ship name, location, course, and speed. This data can be used to track the progress of a cruise ship as it travels from port to port.

What Cruise Lines and Cruise Ships are tracked?

All of the world’s cruise lines use the AIS system to track each cruise ship in their fleet using updated data. It helps large vessels like cruise ships, and others know each other’s current location, speed, heading, routes, etc. You can look up a specific cruise ship or focus on a particular fleet from your favorite cruise line. Of course, this system also can show many other vessels such as cargo ships, pilots, yachts, passenger ferries, and many more.

Automatic Identification System (AIS)

The Automatic Identification System, or AIS, is a system used by ships and other vessels to identify each other and transmit their locations. This information can be used to track the progress of a cruise ship as it travels from port to port. The data transmitted by AIS includes the vessel’s name, course, speed, destination, ship type, and any safety-related messages. It also provides an indication of the vessel’s size, type, cargo, and maneuverability. The system also uses a network of base stations located on shore.

Vessel Traffic Services (VTS)

The vessel traffic services (VTS) system is used mainly for monitoring and controlling maritime traffic in an area of specific importance. With its modern  technology , it enables the authorities to observe, analyze, and coordinate the movement of vessels within a designated area. The system consists of various communication channels such as radar, AIS, VHF radio, and satellite.

Real-Time Cruise Ship Tracking Map

Today people are  cruising  more and more. The cruise lines make a great effort to offer passengers an enjoyable and safe experience. With AIS ship tracking, cruise lines can better manage their growing fleet. Cruise lines also have state-of-the-art fleet operation centers that enable real-time information sharing between the centers and the fleet. The fleet operation centers focus on more than just the ship’s location but also Nautical Operations & Safety, Procedural Optimization & Efficiency, and Sustainability.

What is Cruise Ship Tracking?

Cruise ship tracking is a technology that allows cruise lines to monitor their vessels in real time. AIS (Automatic Identification System) has become the standard for ship tracking, as it broadcasts the position of a vessel every few minutes. This data can be received by any receiver with an AIS system and can be used to track the progress of not only cruise ships but, other passenger vessels, cruise ferries, and even container ships. Modern vessel tracking allows authorities to see the positions of vessels in real-time. This might help you get a package on  time or in the case of cruises , plan for any delays arriving in a port.  Shore excursions  can be re-scheduled if needed well before the day arrived if a delay due to weather or another incident occurred.

What benefits of Cruise Ship Tracker?

By using the AIS ship tracking system, you can gain valuable insights about cruise ships and other vessels. The real-time data received from the AIS system allows you to stay up to date on the current location of a cruise ship, its speed, and its heading. This is great for  planning your own cruise itinerary  or just staying informed on the progress

Types of Ships Listed

The cruise ship tracking system provides real-time data for all types of vessels, not just cruise ships. This data includes a wide  variety  of vessels such as cargo ships, pilots, yachts, passenger ferries and many more. This means that you can track any vessel that is using the AIS system and receive detailed information about its current location and route.

Passenger Ships

AIS ship tracking provides real-time data for all types of passenger ships. This includes cruise ships, ferries, and other vessels that  transport  passengers from port to port. By using the AIS system, you can easily keep up with a passenger ship’s current location and speed as it travels around the world.

Cargo Ships

The AIS system also provides real-time data for cargo ships. This means you can track the progress of a cargo ship as it transports goods from port to port. This can be useful for businesses that depend on the timely delivery of their  products .

Other Types of Ships

The AIS system also provides real-time data for many other types of vessels. This includes yachts, fishing boats, tugboats, and other recreational vessels.

Popular Cruising Companies & Lines

The AIS ship tracking system can be used to track a wide variety of cruise lines and companies.  Popular cruising  companies such as the following:

• Carnival Cruise line
• Royal Caribbean International
• Viking Cruises
• P&O Cruises
• Costa Cruises
• Marella Cruises
• AIDA Cruises
• Phoenix Reisen
• American Cruise Lines

This means you can keep up with the current location of your favorite cruise ship as it sails around the world. All modern cruise lines use the AIS system for fleet tracking to schedule port arrivals and make changes due to weather conditions in real time.

Safety and Security with Cruise Ship Tracker

The AIS ship tracking system provides an extra layer of security and safety for fleets. Not only can the system provide real-time data on the location of a vessel, but it also allows for quick response times to any potential emergencies that may arise. Cruise lines are able to use this data to better manage their fleets and respond quickly if necessary.

Environmental Benefits

The AIS ship tracking system can also provide environmental benefits. By monitoring the progress of vessels, cruise lines, and other fleets can better optimize their routes for fuel efficiency. This means that by using the AIS system, ships can reduce their fuel consumption and emissions, resulting in a greener fleet.

Can you track every cruise ship?

No, not every cruise ship can be tracked. Some cruise ships may not have an AIS system installed, and therefore cannot be tracked. Additionally, some countries may restrict the broadcast of AIS data for security or other reasons. For these reasons, it is essential to double-check the availability of AIS data before attempting to track a specific cruise ship.

United States Coast Guard Regulations

The United States Coast Guard requires all ships operating in US waters to have an AIS system installed. This means that all cruise ships visiting the United States must have an AIS system installed and active at all times. This requirement ensures that all vessels are visible and traceable while in US waters, allowing for improved safety and security.

Emergency Situations

In the event of an emergency, AIS ship tracking can be used to quickly locate and contact a vessel in distress. By using the system, search and rescue teams can quickly and accurately locate vessels in need of assistance. This can mean the difference between life and death in some cases.

View Vessel Photos

Vessel  Photos  are listed for most ships, in addition to providing real-time tracking data, the AIS system can also provide vessel photos. This allows you to quickly and easily identify any vessels in the vicinity of your chosen port. The photos can be used to check for damage or other irregularities before boarding a vessel. Other Great Ship Tracking Websites To Track Your Ship Accurately 1. Shipfinder 2. VesselFinder 3. myshiptracking 4. Cruisemapper 5. Ship location

Modern-Day Ship Tracking

Today, people are cruising more and more. The cruise lines make a great effort to offer passengers an enjoyable and safe experience. With AIS ship tracking, cruise lines can better manage their growing fleet. Cruise lines also have state-of-the-art fleet operation centers that enable real-time information sharing between the centers and the fleet. The fleet operation centers focus on more than just the ship’s location but also Nautical Operations and safety, Procedural Optimization and efficiency, and Sustainability.

 Cruise Ship Tracking FAQ

Q: what is a cruise ship tracker.

A: A cruise ship tracker is a tool that allows you to track the location and movement of cruise ships in real-time on a map.

Q: How can I track cruise ships using a tracker?

A: You can track cruise ships by selecting a specific ship from the list and clicking on it to display its live map and current location.

Q: Can I view the speed of a cruise ship using a tracker?

A: Yes, you can view the speed of a cruise ship on the live map tracking feature of the cruise ship tracker.

Q: Is it possible to see the destination of a cruise ship with a tracker?

A: Yes, you can see the destination and ETA (estimated time of arrival) of cruise ships on the live map tracking feature of the cruise ship tracker.

Q: How do I find a specific cruise ship on the tracker?

A: You can find a specific cruise ship by entering its name in the search option or selecting it from the list of ships currently available for tracking.

Q: Is the cruise ship tracker free to use?

A: Yes, the cruise ship tracker is free to use and provides live tracking of cruise ships around the world.

Q: Can I track multiple cruise ships at the same time using the tracker?

A: Yes, you can track multiple cruise ships simultaneously by selecting the ships you want to track and displaying their live maps.

Q: Does the cruise ship tracker provide additional information about the ships?

A: Yes, the cruise ship tracker provides additional information such as the cruise news, deck plans, and other industry-related details about the tracked ships.

Q: How often is the live map updated on the cruise ship tracker?

A: The live map on the cruise ship tracker is updated frequently to ensure you have the most recent information about the ship’s location and course.

Q: Can I use the cruise ship tracker to track specific port arrivals?

A: Yes, you can use the cruise ship tracker to track specific port arrivals and departures of cruise ships, providing you with real-time information about the ships’ activities.

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How to track a cruise ship

Ever spotted a major ship on the water and wondered which ship it could be?

Stop squinting! You can use a variety of cruise tracker websites — which follow ships of all sorts around the world — to help you identify a vessel.

For the nautical-obsessed, cruise trackers can show you a specific ship's location or traffic in a particular port. They can be handy in the event of a weather-based delay or some kind of emergency situation when you're trying to figure out whether a cruise ship has left or made it back to port. You can even track a ship when you're on it to see which destinations you're cruising past. For the most part, cruise trackers are more recreational rather than practical.

Here's a list of the best cruise ship trackers and how to use them.

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Can you track every cruise ship?

You can track most cruise ships, but if you're using free cruise tracking websites, you might not be able to spot your ship all the time.

Cruise ship trackers receive data through a tracking system called Automatic Identification System, according to Cruisin . Many vessels use some combination of AIS satellite relays and very high-frequency radios, known as VHFs, to transmit and accept AIS data.

However, all free ship trackers on the internet use land-based VHFs rather than satellite-based AIS to gather their ship data because it is less expensive, according to Cruisin. Since online trackers employ VHFs to track ships all over the world, you will not be able to receive data on a ship when it is sailing in the middle of the ocean.

Online cruise trackers are most reliable when a ship is closer to a shoreline or can receive AIS land-based reception.

Best cruise ship trackers

I tested several of the most popular, free cruise ship tracking websites. Here's what I learned about how to track a cruise ship.

CruiseMapper

Of the online cruise trackers I tested, CruiseMapper was the easiest to use. On CruiseMapper's homepage, you can select the cruise line you'd like to track, and then the website displays a map showing the routes of all the ships in that cruise line's fleet.

The arrows on the map indicate a cruise en route, while the points show where a cruise ship is docked.

You can also use CruiseMapper to search for a specific ship or port. When searching for a particular ship, CruiseMapper provides information about that ship's location and home base. CruiseMapper also offers links to additional details on cabins, news, recent accidents, itineraries and deck plans. CruiseMapper also provides a map of a specific cruise ship's location.

For ports, CruiseMapper offers a rundown of the port's location, city, recent news and a list of tourist activities. CruiseMapper also allows you to track the number of ships currently in or near a specific port. All you have to do is type the port you're interested in into the site's search bar on the homepage.

Compared to other trackers, CruiseMapper by far provides the most comprehensive information on cruise lines, cruise ships and ports.

Cruisin is another cruise tracker website that allows you to see maps of specific ships and port traffic around the world. While Cruisin's interface has a dated look, the website provides useful information on the ins and outs of planning a cruise trip and resources on tracking the weather ahead of an upcoming cruise. The tracker also has a forum where cruisegoers can connect and ask questions about their trips.

Other than cruise ships, Cruisin also lets you track U.S. Coast Guard and U.S. Navy ships.

To track a cruise ship on Cruisin, you have to select a cruise line first; the website allows you to choose from 124 different cruise lines. After selecting the cruise line, the website will then ask you to choose a specific ship within that cruise line. Once you click on the ship you want to track, Cruisin will take you to a page showing an interactive map with the ship's location.

The site additionally allows you to track port traffic in real-time. To do so, select "View Ship Traffic in a Port" in the website's "Trackers" section. Then, click on one of the 14 regions that interest you. After choosing a region, you can select a port from a list; the U.S. region lists 135 ports, for example. Once you choose a port, you can see a map of port traffic and have the option to view a live webcam of the port.

Cruisin offers much information on cruise lines and tracking them, but the site's dated interface can make it a little confusing to use, especially if you're using the site's trackers for the first time.

Also, the website includes the defunct White Star Line solely to track the wreckage of the RMS Titanic, but I personally found its inclusion on the list of 124 currently operating cruise lines added more confusion.

Cruisin provides the same live cruise data as Cruisemapper and can be a useful tool if you're well versed in all things nautical.

Cruise Hive

Unlike CruiseMapper and Cruisin, Cruise Hive shows live data for a greater variety of ships, ranging from cruises to cargo vessels. To track a cruise ship on Cruise Hive, simply search for the specific ship you want to see. The website also allows you to search for ports.

If you're interested in tracking ships that are not cruises, Cruise Hive can be a handy tool. Unlike Cruisin, Cruise Hive makes a clearer distinction between cruise ships and other ships. The website's homepage displays an interactive map with a legend denoting symbols for ports, cruises, cargo ships, fishing boats, navigational and tug crafts, high-speed vessels and tankers.

Cruisehive's map is also relatively easy to use; hover over a symbol on the map to learn more about any vessel or port.

Marine Vessel

Like Cruisin and Cruise Hive, Marine Vessel is not exclusive to cruises; you can track any type of ship on the site. For tracking cruise ships, use the search bar to find a particular vessel. Marine Vessel's interface is similar to Cruisehive's; both websites feature a map displaying live data for cruises, cargo ships, tankers and other watercraft.

The main difference between Marine Vessel and Cruise Hive is the interface. Marine Vessel's site looks dated compared to Cruise Hive's, but both still provide much of the same live data.

Bottom line

Cruise trackers can be a fun way to learn more about a ship you see out at sea or look up where in the world your favorite cruise ship is sailing. After testing a few popular trackers, Cruisemapper turned out to be my favorite because it provided the most accessible information on not only the cruise line but also tourist attractions near major ports. However, you'll find the information you're looking for on any of the sites.

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Founded in 2001 by Dominique Vaccaro, a passionate cruise ship and old liner enthusiast since his childhood. He was concerned that only a few web sites provided a helpful and practical search for obtaining and visualization of cruise ship deck plans and staterooms available. Those that did, usually offered very little interactivity to find the configuration and location of a stateroom. One would get lost and perhaps bored by the opening of dozens of windows searching for information.

That is why this site came into existence. To help visitors, first time or even experienced cruise customers and travel agents search and find, through an easy to use and complete interface, the stateroom that would be best for their tastes, means or requests.

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How To Find Out How Full A Cruise Ship Is

Published: December 9, 2023

Modified: December 28, 2023

by Kaylil Cobbs

• Travel Guide
• Travel Tips

Introduction

Planning a cruise can be an exciting adventure filled with anticipation of the experiences and destinations that await you. One of the factors that can greatly impact your cruise experience is the level of occupancy on the ship. Knowing how full a cruise ship is can help you make informed decisions about your travel plans, such as choosing the right time to book or selecting a cruise line that aligns with your preferences.

However, finding out how full a cruise ship is can sometimes be a challenging task. While cruise lines may not openly disclose their occupancy rates, there are several methods and resources available that can provide you with valuable insights. In this article, we will explore some effective ways to find out how full a cruise ship is, allowing you to make informed decisions for your next cruise adventure.

By utilizing these strategies, you can gain an understanding of the occupancy levels on a cruise ship and make decisions that optimize your experience. So, let’s dive in and discover how you can uncover this valuable information!

Step 1: Check the cruise line’s website

One of the first places to start your search for information about the occupancy level of a cruise ship is the official website of the cruise line you are interested in. Cruise lines often provide details about their ships, including the capacity and the availability of cabins.

Visit the cruise line’s website and navigate to the section that provides information about their fleet or specific ships. Look for details such as the number of cabins, the maximum capacity of passengers, and any available indicators of availability, such as sold-out sailings or limited availability for certain itineraries.

Some cruise lines may even provide real-time updates on the availability of cabins or upcoming sailings. This can give you an idea of how full a particular cruise might be. Keep in mind, though, that the information provided on the cruise line’s website is often a general overview and may not reveal the exact occupancy level.

If the website does not provide specific information about occupancy levels, you can still gather valuable insights. Look for any promotional offers or discounts that are being advertised. If a cruise line is offering significant discounts for a specific sailing, it could indicate that the ship is not fully booked.

Additionally, some cruise lines offer the option to select cabins during the booking process. If you notice that there are many available cabins across different categories, it can be an indication that the ship is not yet at full capacity.

Remember to check the cruise line’s website regularly, as availability can change rapidly due to cancellations or last-minute bookings. By keeping an eye on updates, you can stay informed about the occupancy levels and make decisions accordingly.

Step 2: Contact the cruise line directly

If you want to get the most accurate and up-to-date information about the occupancy level of a cruise ship, it is often best to reach out to the cruise line directly. Contacting the cruise line’s customer service or reservations department can provide you with valuable insights regarding the availability of cabins and the overall occupancy rate of the ship.

Start by checking the cruise line’s website for contact information. Look for a phone number or email address that you can use to reach out to them. Be prepared with specific questions about the current occupancy level, as well as any desired sailings or itineraries you have in mind.

When speaking with a representative from the cruise line, explain your interest in knowing how full the ship is and ask if they can provide you with any information or insights. While they may not disclose exact occupancy numbers, they can often give you a general sense of the availability or suggest alternative sailings if your preferred dates are already heavily booked.

Remember to be polite and courteous when contacting the cruise line. Customer service representatives are there to assist you, and being respectful can go a long way in obtaining helpful information. Be prepared for the possibility that some cruise lines may not provide specific details about occupancy levels, as this information is not always publicly shared.

Even if the cruise line cannot provide you with exact information, they may be able to offer other helpful details that can assist you in gauging the occupancy level. For example, they may be able to tell you how quickly certain sailings have been filling up or provide insights on past booking trends.

By reaching out to the cruise line directly, you can gain insights that may not be readily available through other sources. This direct communication can help you make more informed decisions regarding your cruise plans and ensure that you have a memorable and enjoyable experience onboard.

Step 3: Use third-party websites and apps

In addition to checking the cruise line’s website and contacting them directly, utilizing third-party websites and apps can also help you gather valuable information on the occupancy level of a cruise ship. These platforms aggregate data from various sources, providing you with insights into availability and occupancy rates.

Start by exploring popular online travel agencies or booking platforms. These websites often display the availability of cabins and can indicate the level of occupancy for specific sailings. Look for indicators such as limited availability, close to sold-out, or discounts for certain sailings. While this information might not give you exact occupancy numbers, it can give you a sense of how full the ship might be at a given time.

There are also dedicated cruise websites and apps that provide data on occupancy rates. These platforms use algorithms to estimate the percentage of cabins that are booked or available on a particular cruise. While these estimates may not always be 100% accurate, they can still give you a rough idea of the ship’s occupancy level.

Some of these websites and apps even provide historical data or trends, allowing you to see how full a ship typically is during different times of the year or for specific itineraries. This can help you make informed decisions when planning your cruise.

When using third-party websites and apps, be sure to compare information from different sources to get a more comprehensive understanding of the occupancy level. Keep in mind that availability and occupancy rates can change rapidly, so check regularly for the most up-to-date information.

By utilizing third-party websites and apps, you can access a pool of data and insights from multiple sources, giving you a broader view of the occupancy level of a cruise ship. This information can help you make informed decisions and plan your cruise experience accordingly.

Step 4: Check social media and online forums

Social media platforms and online forums can be valuable resources for finding information about the occupancy level of a cruise ship. Many cruise enthusiasts and travelers share their experiences, including details about how full or crowded a particular sailing was.

Start by searching for cruise-related groups or forums on platforms like Facebook, Reddit, or Cruise Critic. These communities are filled with individuals who have firsthand knowledge of different cruise ships and can provide insights into the occupancy levels of specific sailings.

In these online communities, you can find discussions, reviews, and trip reports from people who have recently been on the cruise you are interested in. Look for keywords such as “crowded,” “busy,” or “full” to get an idea of the ship’s occupancy level.

Similarly, check the cruise line’s official social media accounts. They often provide updates and interact with their followers, who may share their experiences and observations about how full the ship was during their trip.

Keep in mind that the information shared on social media and online forums is based on individual experiences and opinions, so it may not be entirely accurate or representative of every sailing. However, these platforms provide a valuable insight into the overall sentiment and experiences of past passengers.

Engage in the conversation by posting questions or comments about the occupancy level of the cruise ship you are interested in. Many enthusiastic cruisers are happy to share their knowledge and help fellow travelers make informed decisions.

By checking social media and online forums, you can tap into a community of cruise enthusiasts who can provide you with valuable insights and real-world experiences regarding the occupancy level of a cruise ship. This information can help you set realistic expectations and plan your cruise accordingly.

Step 5: Consult travel agents or online booking sites

Travel agents and online booking sites can be excellent resources for finding information about the occupancy level of a cruise ship. These professionals have access to various tools and data sources that can provide valuable insights into the availability of cabins and the overall occupancy rate.

If you prefer to work with a travel agent, reach out to them and inquire about the occupancy level of the cruise ship you are interested in. Experienced travel agents often have direct communication channels with cruise lines and can provide you with up-to-date information on availability and occupancy rates.

Travel agents also have access to booking systems and databases that can indicate the availability of cabins for specific sailings. They can check availability in real-time and provide you with insights into how full or crowded a ship might be for your desired dates.

If you prefer the convenience of online booking, utilize reputable online travel agencies or booking sites. These platforms often display the availability of cabins and may even provide indicators of limited availability or sold-out sailings. By browsing through different sites and comparing the information they provide, you can get a better understanding of the occupancy level of a cruise ship.

When consulting travel agents or using online booking sites, be sure to ask specific questions about the occupancy level and any available data or insights they can provide. The more information you can gather, the better equipped you will be to make informed decisions about your cruise plans.

Keep in mind that availability and occupancy rates can fluctuate, so it’s important to stay updated and check regularly for any changes. Both travel agents and online booking sites can provide you with the latest information and help you navigate through the available options to find the best cruise experience for you.

By consulting travel agents or utilizing online booking sites, you can tap into their expertise and access valuable data to determine the occupancy level of a cruise ship. This information can guide your decision-making process and ensure a smooth and enjoyable cruise adventure.

Step 6: Consider booking during off-peak times

If knowing the occupancy level of a cruise ship is a significant factor for you, considering booking during off-peak times can increase your chances of finding a less crowded experience. Off-peak seasons typically have lower demand, which can result in lower occupancy rates and a more spacious and relaxed atmosphere onboard.

Off-peak times vary depending on the destination and cruise line, but they generally include periods outside of popular vacation seasons, major holidays, and school breaks. This may include shoulder seasons (just before or after peak seasons) or less popular travel months.

Booking during off-peak times not only increases the likelihood of a less crowded ship, but it may also come with other benefits such as lower prices, discounts, and promotions. Cruise lines often offer attractive deals to fill cabins during these periods, making it a win-win situation for budget-conscious travelers.

When considering off-peak times, keep in mind that it is essential to research and understand the potential impact on weather conditions, itineraries, and available shore excursions. Some destinations may have their own peak and off-peak seasons based on climate or cultural events.

By booking during off-peak times, you can increase your chances of enjoying a more relaxed and spacious cruise experience while potentially saving money. However, it is always advisable to weigh the pros and cons and consider your personal preferences and travel goals when making your decision.

Remember to plan ahead and book early to secure your preferred sailings during off-peak times, as availability may still be limited. Consulting with travel agents or utilizing online booking sites can help you navigate the options and find the best deals for your desired travel dates.

Ultimately, choosing to book during off-peak times can be a strategic way to enhance your cruise experience by avoiding crowds and enjoying a more tranquil and leisurely voyage.

Knowing how full a cruise ship is can greatly impact your overall cruise experience. By utilizing various strategies and resources, you can gather valuable insights into the occupancy level of a cruise ship and make informed decisions for your next voyage.

Start by checking the cruise line’s website for information on cabin availability, promotions, and discounts. Contacting the cruise line directly can provide you with personalized information and insights from their representatives.

Utilizing third-party websites and apps can give you a broader view of the occupancy level by aggregating data and estimating availability. Exploring social media and online forums can provide you with real-world experiences and observations from fellow cruisers.

Consulting with travel agents or using online booking sites can give you access to expert knowledge and up-to-date information on cabin availability and occupancy rates. Finally, considering booking during off-peak times can increase your chances of finding a less crowded ship.

Combine these strategies and resources to gain a comprehensive understanding of the occupancy level of a cruise ship. This knowledge will enable you to plan and book your cruise with confidence, ensuring a memorable and enjoyable experience.

Remember to regularly check for updates, as availability and occupancy rates can change rapidly. Keep your travel goals, personal preferences, and budget in mind when making your decision.

With the right information and insights, you can set sail on your dream cruise adventure, knowing the occupancy level of your chosen ship and enjoying a well-planned and unforgettable journey.

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Your Guide to the Disney Dream: Everything You’ll Find Onboard This Cruise Ship

Learn about the Disney Dream, including what it’s like to take a cruise on this Disney Cruise Line ship, where you can travel, and what you’ll find onboard.

For over a decade now, the Disney Dream has been sailing guests throughout the Bahamas and Western Caribbean, visiting destinations from Grand Cayman to Cozumel to Disney’s own Castaway Cay. A staple in the Disney Cruise Line fleet since its very first sailing back in 2011, it’s a ship many cruise enthusiasts have come to love.

What’s in store when you board the Disney Dream for a Disney Cruise Line vacation? We’ve got your guide to the ship’s theming, stateroom options, dining venues, entertainment, and more so you can plan the perfect cruise.

• About the Disney Dream
• Disney Dream Theming
• Disney Dream Staterooms
• Disney Dream Dining
• Disney Dream Entertainment
• How to Book a Cruise on the Disney Dream

Attraction Issue Bundle

Attraction special – haunted mansion, attraction special – jungle cruise, attraction special – pirates of the caribbean, about the disney dream cruise ship.

The Disney Dream joined the Disney Cruise Line as the third ship in the fleet. It followed the Disney Magic and Disney Wonder, and it was the very first of its kind and class. Back in 2007, Disney Cruise Line revealed two new ships were coming, which would be part of the new-at-the-time Dream class.

Construction got underway for the first Dream class ship – the Disney Dream – back in 2009. The ship’s maiden voyage took place on January 26, 2011, marking a grand milestone for Disney Cruise Line. The following year, the Dream’s sister ship, the Disney Fantasy, also set sail.

For its first years out at sea, the Disney Dream sailed to Nassau and Castaway Cay. 40 percent larger than the Disney Magic and Disney Wonder, the Dream weighs 129,690 gross tons, stretches 1,114.7 feet long, and has room for 2,500 passengers across 1,250 staterooms (though it can technically fit up to 4,000 passengers!). For some time, the Dream and its sister ship, the Fantasy, were the largest in the Disney Cruise Line fleet.

Where Does the Disney Dream Sail?

Since its very first sailing back in 2011, the Disney Dream has stuck with its route throughout the Atlantic Ocean. It sails three- and four-night itineraries to Castaway Cay and Nassau in the Bahamas. 

However, in 2023, the Disney Dream embarked on new routes: Itineraries debuted for European destinations for the very first time. These summer sailings took the Dream to destinations like the United Kingdom, France, Spain, Norway, Denmark, Greece, and Italy.

Since those European sailings wrapped, the Dream has moved back to the Bahamas. In November 2023, the ship moved into a new home port at Port Everglades in Florida, where it’ll continue offering sailings to Castaway Cay and Nassau. 

Theming on the Disney Dream

Photo by Jimmy Taylor

The Disney Dream, like every Disney Cruise Line ship, has its own unique theming, with specific stern characters, a special atrium design with character statue and chandelier, and Disney characters and stories that are represented on board. 

When you step onto the ship for your sailing, you’ll be welcomed into the atrium – where you’ll spot the bronze sculpture of Admiral Donald Duck. Overhead, an Art Deco inspired chandelier hangs, embellished with countless glittering crystals (or, to get specific, 88,680 Swarovski crystal beads!). 

Throughout the interior of the Dream, you’ll find Art Deco design cues and touches of magic alongside state-of-the-art technology. For example, the interior cabins feature Magical Portholes, which offer a virtual look “outside” with appearances from animated Disney characters.

Want to find out where everything is located? Check out a deck-by-deck map so you know exactly what’s on board! 

Staterooms Aboard the Disney Dream

The staterooms you can book on the Disney Dream cover a wide range of different options. You can choose from 10 different stateroom types:

• Standard Inside Staterooms , which measure 169 sq. ft. and fit two to four guests
• Deluxe Inside Staterooms , which measure 204 sq. ft. and sleep three to four guests
• Deluxe Oceanview Staterooms , which measure 204 sq. ft. and offer room for two to four guests
• Deluxe Family Oceanview Staterooms , which measure 241 sq. ft. with room for up to five guests
• Deluxe Oceanview Staterooms with Navigator’s Verandah , which measure 246 sq. ft. and offer room for up to four guests
• Deluxe Family Oceanview Staterooms with Verandah , which measure 299 sq. ft. (with verandah) and sleep up to five guests
• Deluxe Oceanview Staterooms with Verandah , which measure 246 sq. ft. (with verandah) and fit up to four guests
• Concierge Family Oceanview Staterooms with Verandah , which measure 306 sq. ft. and sleep up to five guests
• Concierge 1-Bedroom Suites with Verandah , which measure 622 sq. ft. and offer different room layouts for guest parties of different sizes
• Concierge Royal Suite with Verandah , which measures 1,781 sq. ft. and sleeps five guests (but offers an impressive amount of space inside!)

Every type of stateroom was designed to meet the needs of families of various sizes. While the layouts and square footage may differ, the theming is actually pretty consistent – most staterooms feature touches inspired by Peter Pan , a classic Disney animated film that captures the magic of dreaming. 

Dining on the Disney Dream

Photo by Julie de La Fe

Like the other Disney Cruise Line ships, the Dream features rotational dining – which means you’ll get a chance to dine at a different table service restaurant each night. On this ship, your rotational dining experience includes:

• Enchanted Garden
• Royal Palace
• Animator’s Palate

Additionally, you’ll also find a number of casual dining options on board – like Cabanas, the buffet-style restaurant – as well as lounges, bars, and adults-only sit-down restaurants like Palo and Remy .

For a complete look at all of the dining options you’ll find onboard, check out our restaurant guide here .

Entertainment on the Disney Dream

Photo by Bill Ryan

Lastly, you won’t want to skip all of the entertainment found onboard the Disney Dream. While your cruise will undoubtedly offer the opportunity to join excursions at your various ports of call, you’ll also find plenty to do and explore on board. 

For example, one of the highlights in entertainment is found inside the Walt Disney Theatre: a musical production of Beauty and the Beast on stage. You can also watch Disney’s Believe, the heartwarming family story about the power of Disney magic, or check out “The Golden Mickeys,” a Hollywood-style award show with dazzling performances.

For adults, Senses Spa & Salon and Rejuvenation Spa both offer relaxing experiences and services that’ll make your sailing a total treat. Plus, there are adults-only bars and lounges to check out (complete with dancing, drinks, and live sports). 

There’s also plenty of entertainment themed for kids of all ages. The Oceaneer Club features themed play spaces (like Andy’s Room from Toy Story , Pixie Hollow, Star Wars : Millennium Falcon, and the Disney Infinity Game Room). Plus, there are Disney character experiences on board that’ll bring beloved stories to life via Disney’s Once Upon a Time, Puzzle Playtime with Mickey and Friends, and Jedi Training: Experience the Force.

Of course traditional character meet and greets are also offered on board! Depending on your sailing, you may be able to catch Mickey Mouse and friends, Disney Princesses, or other characters onboard meeting with guests regularly throughout the day.

If the whole family is looking for some fun, Goofy’s Sports Deck offers mini golf and basketball.

Lastly, no guest will want to miss the pool deck on the Disney Dream! There are two family-friendly pools, plus a small Mickey waterslide, a Finding Nemo splash pad for little kids, and the AquaDuck, an incredible water coaster at sea (the first of its kind!) that takes guests over 765 feet of distance and a four-deck-tall drop. 

Book a Sailing on the Disney Dream

Ready to set sail on a cruise to the Bahamas and Castaway Cay – or maybe even Europe? The experts at Destinations to Travel are ready to help you plan your dream itinerary! Whether you’re a first-time Disney Cruise Line guest or a repeat cruiser, you can enlist their help for free below:

The post Your Guide to the Disney Dream: Everything You’ll Find Onboard This Cruise Ship appeared first on WDW Magazine .

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

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Passenger speaks out on what happened moments before man, 20, ‘jumped off’ cruise ship in front of family

The royal caribbean have provided a statement following the devastating incident.

A 20-year-old man went overboard on an 18-story cruise ship, sparking a search and rescue mission.

Reports have stated he ‘jumped off’ Royal Caribbean's Liberty of the Seas in front of his family.

The ship was sailing between Cuba and the Bahamas' Grand Inagua Island and the man is said to have jumped around 4:00 am on Thursday (April 4).

Onlookers state that his father and brother looked on ‘helplessly’.

It is hard to imagine what could have possibly led to the unnamed man leaping from the 15-deck ship.

The tragic news has been further confirmed by passengers, who said it appeared to be an ‘impulsive’ and ‘spur of the moment’ decision.

The Royal Caribbean have given a statement, provided to The NY Post, following the incident. They said : "The ship’s crew immediately launched a search and rescue effort alongside the US Coast Guard, who has taken over the search.

“Our Care Team is providing support and assistance to the guest’s family during this difficult time. For the privacy of the guest and their family, we have no additional details to share.”

There are a number of passengers who were onboard at the time of the tragedy who have recollected the events.

One man, Bryan Sims, said: "I had hung out with him and his brother in the hot tub until 3:30.

"It was standing room only. He sat right beside me the whole time.

“He was pretty drunk.”

Sims then continued: “As we were walking from the hot tub back to the elevators, his dad and brother were walking towards us. His dad was fussing at him for being drunk , I guess.

“When we got to them, he said to his dad, ‘I’ll fix this right now'. And he jumped out the window in front of us all.”

Reflecting on what he witnessed, Sims concluded: "It was insane. It was just surreal.”

A second passenger onboard, Deborah Morrison, added: "There was a lot of yelling, and the crew was alerted immediately.

“ His family was horrified. Just beside themselves. I can’t even begin to imagine what they’re going through.”

While it is impossible to picture the horror on board the Liberty of the Seas, a third passenger has tried to shed some light. Amy Phelps Fouse said: "The early morning was definitely sombre as so many people came out of their cabins to stare at the sea, hoping to be able to aid in finding the person.

“Royal Caribbean has been excellent at communicating updates throughout the day.

“They have asked that people act with compassion in light of the tragic situation.”

LADbible Group contacted Royal Caribbean and the Coast Guard for comment.

Topics:  Cruise Ship , News

Kya is a Journalist at Tyla. She loves covering news, trends, and issues surrounding identity, sex and relationships, and mental health. Contact: [email protected]

@ kyajbuller

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Travel | 8 new ships coming to Norwegian Cruise Line,…

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Subscriber only, travel | 8 new ships coming to norwegian cruise line, sister brands plus dock at great stirrup cay.

The parent company to Norwegian Cruise Line announced Monday a major order for eight new ships among its three brands as well as the construction of a pier to allow its cruise ships to dock instead of tender to its private Bahamas island for the first time.

Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings said it was planning to bring on four new ships for NCL, two new ships for upper premium brand Oceania Cruises and two ships for luxury brand Regent Seven Seas, all to be built at Fincantieri shipyard in Italy and debut during a 10-year run from 2026-2036.

The NCL ships would be the largest ever built for the line at around 200,000 gross tons and capacity of about 5,000 guests. They won’t arrive until after the final delivery of its Prima-Plus class ships expected between 2025-2028, the larger sister ships to the Norwegian Prima and Viva that debuted in the last couple of years. The four ships from the unnamed class of vessel would arrive in 2030, 2032, 2034 and 2036.

The new class for Oceania Cruises, which in 2023 debuted its first new ship in more than a decade — the Oceania Allura — will also be the largest ever built for the line at 86,000 gross tons and a capacity of 1,450 guests. They’re expected in 2027 and 2029.

And the Regent Seven Seas fleet’s new vessels will also be larger coming in at 77,000 gross tons with a capacity of 850 guests. They’re expected in 2026 and 2029. Regent just debuted the third of its Explorer class ships in December 2023.

“This strategic new-ship order across all three of our award-winning brands provides for the steady introduction of cutting-edge vessels into our fleet and solidifies our long-term growth,” said NCLH president and CEO Harry Sommer in a press release. “It also allows us to significantly leverage our operating scale, strengthen our commitment to innovation and enhance our ability to offer our guests new products and experiences, all while providing opportunities to enhance the efficiency of our fleet.”

No other details about the ships were released. Financing is already in place to fund 80% of the cost for the four ships among the Oceania and Regent orders, but financing for the four NCL ships is not finalized.

The eight ships expects to add 25,000 more to the three cruise lines’ passenger capacity.

In addition, the line is set to construct a multi-ship pier at Great Stirrup Cay, the popular Bahamas private destination visited by all three brands. The move follows the introduction of a dock that can support two Oasis-class vessels at neighboring Perfect Day at Coco Cay for Royal Caribbean while other private Bahamas destinations including Disney’s Castaway Cay and its new Lookout Cay at Lighthouse Point feature tenderless docks for easy access.

“We are likewise excited with the addition of a new pier at Great Stirrup Cay to support our increased capacity in the Caribbean and multiple ships to call on the island, enhancing our guest experience and bringing seamless and reliable access to our private island year-round,” Sommer said.

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The Family Cruise Guide To Voyager Of The Seas

Level up your next family vacation onboard a cruise ship designed for maxing out on memories..

By Amanda Mesa | Published on April 5, 2024

Savvy travellers know that Royal Caribbean® ships deliver the best family cruises, with plenty of thrill-filled onboard attractions, top-notch cruise dining options, and spectacular, family-friendly cruise entertainment sure to wow guests of all ages. Whether you’re traveling with your little ones, teens, or grandparents; every ship in the fleet was designed with families in mind . The Amplified Voyager of the Seas® is one cruise ship that really shines in this department. 

Beloved by guests, this award-winning fleet-favourite offers countless ways to level up family bonding during your next sun-soaked escape. Like adrenaline-amping, tide-taming sessions on the FlowRider®* surf simulator, epic glow-in-the-dark laser tag battles, poolside movie nights under the stars and so much more. The food scene onboard Voyager of the Seas is also top-notch and bound to please even the pickiest eaters.

With so many unique experiences onboard, having a game-plan before you embark on your getaway will help ensure a fun holiday for the whole family. Here are some of the top cruise activities for kids and parents sailing onboard the Amplified Voyager of the Seas . 

Spark Your Competitive Side With Family Cruise Activities

Chase Adrenaline-amping Thrills At Sea

Enjoy Your Time Poolside In The Sun

Introduce Your Kids To An Onboard Fun Zone All Of Their Own

Make Every Family Dining Experience Different From The Next

Enjoy The End Of Each Night On A High Note

When you sail onboard a cruise ship like Voyager of the Seas , the memory-making continues long after sundown thanks to award-winning entertainment at the Royal Theatre and Studio B. If you’re into Broadway-style musicals, you’ll love Broadway Rhythm & Rhyme , which celebrates classic and contemporary stage hits from the Great White Way. Hardcore movie buffs will find lots to rave about in Music in Pictures , an irresistible revue of memorable scores and songs from classic films. And in Studio B, you can watch as world-class figure skaters wow the crowd with head-spinning twirls, gravity-defying jumps, and flawless figure-eights. You’ll be happy to learn every show onboard is complimentary for cruise guests. 

When it comes to incredible family holidays, nothing beats a Royal Caribbean cruise. Though every ship in the fleet delivers spectacular shows, delicious dining, and unforgettable activities for guests of all ages , the Amplified Voyager of the Seas is a great choice for families looking to maximise their time away from home. These are just a few of the many wow-worthy attractions onboard — there are plenty more thrills, restaurants, and family-friendly experiences to discover during your cruise getaway. 

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