my aunt visit us every weekend

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Weekends at Mommy’s

I’m a working adult and live three hours away, but my mom still wants to see me every weekend..

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Dear Care and Feeding,

I am 23 and have a full-time job with weekends off. I live in the same large city where I attended college, about 100 miles from my parents. A trip via train or bus to go visit them takes about 2½ or three hours each way.

Here’s my problem: My mother tries to guilt-trip me into visiting more often than I’d like to. I love my family, but the trip is long enough that I typically have to stay overnight to make the journey worth it. My hometown is small, and all my high school friends have left, so I don’t have much to do there aside from spend time with my sister and parents.

There’s only so much time I can spend with my family until it causes me great anxiety; my mom has a lot of close relatives nearby, and they are all Trump-loving boomers who love watching Fox News and throwing around bigoted remarks every time they hang out with each other. I try to push back when I can, but it’s exhausting when it’s me against a group of old people who love to turn around and attack me when I try to speak up. So I’ve decided it’s much better for my mental health if I limit my time with them. However, I don’t think there’s a gentle way to explain this to my mom, who becomes cold and angry if I don’t want to go home every two to four weeks.

There have been two instances within the last six months where I have had to go home for several weekends in a row due to family deaths, and I think my mom might have gotten spoiled by seeing me so frequently—but those were extenuating circumstances! I can’t be going home every weekend. I am trying to build a life in my new city, and I’m tired of having to turn down friends’ invitations because I have to go home.

A few days ago, I was on the phone with my mom, and she implied that she would like me to come home this weekend. I told her I couldn’t, citing some vague (nonexistent) plans, and she asked when she would see me again. I didn’t know how to answer. Honestly, I was home enough recently that the only way I could enjoy myself there again would be if I took a break for a bit. I declined to give a straight answer, and my mom has been very quiet and terse in our communication for the past few days.

I have an anxiety disorder, and this behavior is super triggering for me. I want to make her happy, but I also want her to realize that I am an adult with a life in my “new” home (I’ve lived here five years, so it’s not that new). How should I handle it the next time she tries to get me to come home for a weekend that I could spend doing something I enjoy?

—Mom Wants My Weekends

As much as I am inclined to say “Live your best life and leave the Trumpsters to rot without you,” I’m also prone to wonder if your mother has anxiety issues of her own that are heightened by your absence (and I told myself that she is not a Trumpster in order to channel this empathy because otherwise, go have fun, who needs a family anyway— bigly overrated).

When you have a kid, your heart lives outside your body. It’s cliché, and it’s no excuse for toxic, manipulative, or insensitive behavior, but it is true. Honey , you have not known longing until your child is many miles away from you, and there have to be major steps taken to change that. Factor in two recent family deaths and your mom is hurt, kid.

That said, you absolutely have a right to preserve your sanity and to establish your post-college life as you see fit. Talk to your mother openly and honestly about what you need—all of it, from the limited interactions with your extended family, to an adequate amount of time to find your footing where you live now. Talk to her about your anxiety; the more we avoid that topic with our loved ones, the more we set ourselves up to be triggered. Compromise! The holidays are coming—can you commit to spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with her? That lets you off the hook for another month and change. Also, invite her to come visit you ! She can help you pick out curtains and completely fuck up the kitchen organization system that works for you in an attempt to be “helpful.”

Let Mom know that you intend to ring in 2020 either on vacation or in your own town, and that you can come visit every other month or so when your schedule permits. Schedule FaceTime or Skype calls each week and communicate with her regularly via text, phone, or email in between. Set boundaries while also setting aside space to shower the woman who loves you so with a bit of the time and affection she needs from you.

• Tenses and Verb Forms
• Present Tenses

Simple Present

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Simple Present:

Present: present progressive, past: simple past, past: past progressive, past: present perfect simple, past: present perfect progressive, past: past perfect simple, past: past perfect progressive, future: will-future, future: going-to-future, future: future progressive, future: future perfect, the simple present tense, positive statements.

• With I, you, we, they , verbs in the simple present tense don't have any special ending. You simply use the infinitive form of the verb: I want.., You need.., We go.., They like.. .
• With he, she, it you need to add -s to the verb: he want s , she need s , he like s , he eat s , she meet s , it work s .
• He, she, it has
• Anna a cold. She a headache and doesn't feel well. That's why she to stay in bed. Pedro enters the room and says: "Hey Anna, we will have lunch soon. Can you get up?" Anna replies: "No, I can't. I a very bad headache." Pedro: "Ok, then lunch in bed today!"  
• Check  (  1  )
• Check and show solutions

Negative statements

• I don't like parties.
• You don't listen to me.
• We don't have a car.
• They don't have any money.
• I don't want any ice-cream.
• He doesn't like apples.
• She doesn't use a computer.
• It doesn't work.
• He doesn't have a swimming lesson today.
• She doesn't know that.

Questions in the simple present tense

Yes/no questions with do/does.

• Use "do" with the pronouns I, you, we, they.
• Use "does" with the pronouns he, she, it.
• I like parties. – Do you like parties?
• You eat ice cream. – Do you eat ice cream?
• He like s music. – Does he like music?
• She play s the drums. – Does she play the drums?
• It work s well. – Does it work well?
• We watch TV. – Do we watch TV?
• They like football. – Do they like football?
• he bother you?  
• he ride his bike?  
• it look okay?  
• she work with you?  
• you like me?  
• they watch TV?  
• you want to come?  
• it rain?  
• they like Spain?  
• I look good?  
• the party start at 6?  
• we leave soon?  
• ⁠? – Yes, she goes to college.  
• ⁠? – Yes, we have dinner at 6 pm.  
• ⁠? – Yes, they come to the party.  
• ⁠? – No, he doesn't play tennis.  
• ⁠? – No, we don't go to the movies.  

Short answers

• Do you like parties? – Yes, I do. or No, I don't.
• Does he like music? – Yes, he does. or No, he doesn't.
• Does she play the drums? – Yes, she does. or No, she doesn't.
• Does it work well? – Yes, it does. or No, it doesn't.
• Do we watch TV? – Yes, we do. or No, we don't.
• Do they like football? – Yes, they do. or No, they don't.
• Use do with I, you, we, they.
• Use does with he, she, it.
• Anna and Pedro talk about Michael and Josh, their next-door neighbours. Anna says: " Does you like them?". "Yes, I do . I think they are all right. How about you? Do you want to play with them again?" Anna: "Yes, I does . They seem nice. But Josh asked me yesterday ' Do your brother really play no sports regularly?' and I said 'No, he don't , but he likes other stuff like playing the guitar or working on his computer.' I don't know why he asked me that. I think it was strange."
• Does she really come from Italy? – Yes, she --- do does ⁠.  
• Does he live with you? – No, he --- don't doesn't ⁠.  
• Do you mind if I borrow your book? – No, I --- doesn't don't ⁠.  
• Do we need any milk? – Yes, we --- does do ⁠.  
• Do you live with your parents? – Yes, I --- does do ⁠.  
• Do they often eat at a restaurant? – Yes, they --- do does ⁠.  
• You always have lunch at 12.30 pm.
• It always does that.
• You never tell us about your parents.
• He sometimes calls me "Honey".
• We usually go to the cinema on the weekend.
• He always comes late. BUT He is always late.
• She never calls me back. BUT She is never at home when I call her.
• They sometimes come over to our place. BUT We are never at their place.
• We meet our friends every weekend.
• They have dinner at 6.30 pm every night.
• He eats breakfast at 8 o'clock every morning.
• We live in New York.
• He hates vegetables.
• I love you.
• My English teacher is very nice.
• She likes chocolate.
• The dog is 5 years old.
• Her name is Anna.
• They have two cats.
• Every morning, they (have) breakfast together.  
• On afternoon, Maria (have) an art class.  
• On morning, Anna (leave) late for school.  
• On evening, they often (go) to the cinema together.  
• On evening, Pedro usually (watch) his favourite TV show.  
• On afternoon, Anna sometimes (meet) her friends.  
• On evening, Pedro (like) going to the indoor swimming pool.  
• On morning, Anna and Pedro (go) to school at 7.45 am.  

• go to the gym  
• meet my friend Bill  
• relax at home  
• business meeting  
• go out to clubs  
• visit parents  
• work late  
• On Monday  
• On Tuesday afternoon  
• On Wednesday morning  
• On Thursday night  
• On Friday night  
• On Saturday  
• On Sunday  

Learn more ...

T075 - Present Tense - Simple and Continuous

Gap-fill exercise.

Fill in the correct form of the Present Tense (Simple or Continuous) :

• The girls ( NOT ARGUE ) now. They ( WATCH ) a film together.
• Look ! Mary ( SING ) again. She often ( SING ) this song.
• My dad ( HAVE ) a lot of work to do every weekend.
• Please go to the supermarket and ( BUY ) me some food.
• Emma ( SPEAK ) English and French but her sister doesn't.
• He usually ( LEAVE ) home at 9.00 o'clock but today he ( LEAVE ) later.
• I ( VISIT ) my grandmother every Friday. My sister often ( VISIT ) her as well.
• She ( WRITE ) to her pen friend at the moment.
• They sometimes ( HAVE ) lunch at work, but today they ( GO ) to a restaurant.
• She can't talk to you. She ( HAVE ) a shower.
• Where ( ALEX , NORMALLY, LIVE ) ? - In France.
• Jane ( GIVE ) a party today because it ( BE ) her birthday.
• My mother always ( COOK ) in the morning.
• The lesson ( START ) at 9 every morning.
• What ( YOU USUALLY DO ) at the weekends ?
• After school I always ( CHECK ) my Facebook posts before I do my homework.
• Pay attention ! The teacher ( WRITE ) some examples on the blackboard.
• She never ( SMOKE ).
• He ( LIKE ) watching TV but he ( NOT WATCH ) at the moment because he is asleep.
• My brother can't play tennis because he ( HAVE ) a racket.

• AT the weekend or ON the weekend?

Saturday + Sunday = the weekend

Weekend is written as ONE word.

You do NOT write it as two words ( week end – incorrect) or with a dash/hyphen ( week-end – incorrect)

AT or ON the weekend?

Complete this sentence…

• I play football ___ the weekend.

Do we say AT the weekend or  ON the weekend?

What is the difference?

AT the weekend is used in British English

ON the weekend is used in American English

• I play football  AT the weekend. – British English
• I play football ON the weekend. – American English

Both prepositions can be used in this sentence. It depends on where you are speaking or using English.

• We used to always go to the beach AT the weekend. – British English
• We used to always go to the beach ON the weekend. – American English

Note: We do NOT say in the weekend.

More example sentences: (Think about when the sentence would be used… in British or American English)

• I think I’ll visit my parents at the weekend.
• What do you usually do on  the weekend?
• I read an entire book on the weekend.
• I’m going to set aside an hour at  the weekend to clean the bathroom.

On Fridays after work or school, you may hear people say “Finally, it’s the weekend!” even though it is not Saturday yet.

Last weekend – Next weekend

We do not use prepositions before LAST or NEXT.

• We went to the beach last weekend.
• I think I’ll go to the beach next weekend.

Here we are specifying that it was the weekend that just went by or the weekend that is coming up.

Both last and next can be replaced by at the/on the and retain the same meaning.

We also do not use prepositions before each, every, this, that + weekend .

Every weekend

We don’t say all the weekends , we say every weekend .

• I’m very active. I play football every weekend .
• When I was lived in Australia, I went to the beach every weekend .

Remember, after EVERY we have a singular noun (= every + singular noun) so we don’t say every weekends (incorrect)

Over the weekend / During the weekend

Sometimes you will hear people say over the weekend or  during the weekend

In general:  over the weekend = during the weekend = at/on the weekend

It can refer to the entire duration of the weekend

• My mother is coming to stay with us over the weekend . (= both days)

Or it can refer to something that happens at a single point but at some time within the duration of the weekend. It is not necessarily on both days.

• She said she would call me over the weekend .
• I’ll fix it  over the weekend . = At some point during the course of the weekend.

A long weekend

A long weekend is a weekend that has at least three days due to a public holiday falling on either the Friday or Monday.

Friday is a public holiday so the Friday, Saturday and Sunday is a long weekend.

Weekend or Weekends?

Weekend is mostly used in singular form. However it can be used in its plural form ( weekends ) when we are referring to a number of different weekends over a period of time.

• We went to the beach at/on the weekend. ( = only one weekend, the one that just went by)
• We spent many weekends at the beach. ( = numerous weekends in the past)

One final thing, we don’t write weekend with a hyphen in the middle.

• week-end (incorrect)
• weekend (correct)

Summary Chart

What do you normally do on the weekend?

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Prepositions in english.

• Angry WITH / Angry AT / Angry ABOUT
• Beside vs. Besides
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• Between vs. Among - What is the difference?
• For vs. Since
• Made + preposition – made of, made from, made by

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I will be going to visit my aunt.

• Thread starter Hiden
• Start date Mar 31, 2020
• Mar 31, 2020

I’m sure we can say both (a) and (b), but how about (c)? Can we say (c)? (a) I will visit my aunt. (b) I am going to visit my aunt. (c) I will be going to visit my aunt. If you can say it, in what kind of context would it sound natural?  

Senior Member

You can only say (c) because in that case the going is not meant in the future sense of “ going to ”. Instead, the modal verb will denotes the future action of physically going to your aunt’s house.  

lingobingo said: You can only say (c) because in that case the going is not meant in the future sense of “ going to ”. Instead, the modal verb will denotes the future action of physically going to your aunt’s house. Click to expand...

Please don’t ever edit your original post without showing what you’ve changed. Now we don’t know what you originally asked.  

lingobingo said: Please don’t ever edit your original post without showing what you’ve changed. Now we don’t know what you originally asked. Click to expand...

Is the usage of “be going to do” in (c) the same as that of “go (to) see movies”?  

The verb go is one of the most common in the language. It’s used in all manner of contexts, often in the form of a phrasal verb, in combination with a preposition or adverb. But its basic literal meaning is to move, travel, leave (go from ) one place and/or make your way to another. In this type of use, it’s usually a noun that indicates the destination: He goes to work five days a week. / We’ re going to the park later. / I’ m going home now. ​ The compound verb “ to be going to ” (+ infinitive ) – which denotes the future in that it expresses the intention to perform an action or arrive at a state – applies that idea of movement specifically to time, not place. He’ s going to cook supper tonight. / We’ re going to walk to the park. / I’ m going to set off now. ​  

lingobingo said: The verb go is one of the most common in the language. It’s used in all manner of contexts, often in the form of a phrasal verb, in combination with a preposition or adverb. But its basic literal meaning is to move, travel, leave (go from ) one place and/or make your way to another. In this type of use, it’s usually a noun that indicates the destination: He goes to work five days a week. / We’ re going to the park later. / I’ m going home now. ​ The compound verb “ to be going to ” (+ infinitive ) – which denotes the future in that it expresses the intention to perform an action or arrive at a state – applies that idea of movement specifically to time, not place. He’ s going to cook supper tonight. / We’ re going to walk to the park. / I’ m going to set off now. ​ Click to expand...

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How Often Should I Visit my Parents and Other Family Members?

It's a good idea to visit relatives whenever you can — within reason of course. Everyone is busy with their lives and many families are scattered in different states. It can be especially rewarding to visit with parents and siblings, but visiting your extended family members such as aunts, uncles and cousins can also renew family bonds.

Although advances in technology can keep us in closer contact these days, it's still nice to visit family members in person when you get a chance. How often you decide to visit your parents and other family members should depend on how often you want to do that and how often time and distance allow you to. Of course, you must also be considerate and not invite yourself to stay with your relatives just because they are your family members and you expect them to look after you. No one wants or deserves free loaders of any description.

If you're genuinely interested in spending time with your family, however, they would probably enjoy having you stay in their home for a few days every now and then. Of course, you can return the favor by inviting them to visit you. If your parents live near you, then you don't have to worry about staying in their home and can drop in for visits during the day or in the evenings. The main thing to remember is to think about what types of visits they would prefer.

Remember, there are no rules about how often you should visit relatives, whether they are your parents or your cousins. Just try to base all aspects of your visits on mutual respect and remember that no one will be around forever. You don't want to regret not visiting a special relative when you had the chance. If your family is geographically spread out, you may want to have a family reunion if and when everyone would be able to attend.

AS FEATURED ON:

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• What is an Extended Family?
• How Should I Communicate with Controlling Parents?
• What is a Conjugal Visit?
• What does "Woulda Coulda Shoulda" Mean?
• What is Quality Time?
• What are the Various Levels of Cousins?
• What does "Blood is Thicker Than Water" Mean?

Discussion Comments

Post your comments.

• By: Pix by Marti Visiting extended family can help strengthen familial bonds.
• By: bloomua While modern technology allows people to communicate, it is nice to visit with family in person.
• By: majesticca Cousins who are close in age may share a lot of interests.
• By: Minerva Studio A person should encourage relatives to visit whenever they are unable to travel.
• By: yanlev Most siblings outgrow rivalries and develop strong bonds.

Speaking from experience, being an aunt is one of the greatest joys in life. I know that people always make jokes about aunts being able to have all of the fun without any of the responsibility, but being an aunt is so much more than that. You're your niece's or nephew's adult confidant, role mode, and you get to be there for every step of their lives. It's an incredible journey that only gets better over time. You're probably always looking for new ways to bond, so you should check out these fun places to go with your niece or nephew that will totally solidify your "cool" aunt status.

From Disney World to New York City, there are a ton of options if you're looking for unique vacations to go on with your niece or nephew. These vacations ensure you'll have plenty of opportunities to bond with them, you can introduce them to something new, visit a place you've never been before, and of course, be a crucial part of their coming of age journey.

Being an aunt is one of the most incredible titles you can have in your lifetime, and if you're like me, you're always looking for ways to be the best aunt you possibly can be. Try taking these trips with your niece or nephew to add a few extra "cool" points to your aunt meter. Your nieces and nephews will definitely thank you for it.

No matter what age your nieces or nephews are, it's unlikely they'll ever get tired of going to Disney. The theme park has fun activities for people of all ages so that you can enjoy a day or weekend bonding with each other on rides, at shows, and in fun restaurants.

Everyone should visit New York City at least once in their life, and you're the perfect person to take your niece or nephew there. You can show them all of the fun touristy spots as well as some of your personal favorites from your own trips to The Big Apple.

I'm definitely partial because I grew up next to the Gulf of Mexico, but I think that beach vacations are a wonderful way to bond with someone. Destinations like St. Petersburg and Clearwater, Florida offer you the chance to enjoy the beautiful scenery of the beach, but also offer a quiet place where you and your niece or nephew can hang out, explore, and recharge.

If you're able to swing a trip to Hawaii with your niece or nephew, you'll probably be considered the greatest aunt ever (and I hope you'll pack me in your suitcase). Depending on their age, you can spend your vacay with your niece or nephew relaxing by the pool, snorkeling in the ocean, and hiking around volcanoes. You'll savor delicious traditional Hawaiian cuisine, and have the absolute best time ever.

Cruises are a fun and easy way for anyone to take a vacation, and they're especially great for kids. If you're looking for a fun vacation to take with your niece or nephew, consider jumping on a cruise with them.

Some cruises are as short as four days, so you won't be gone for too long. It's just enough time for you to bond, do some fun activities together, and explore a new destination.

A road trip is a great way for you to spend quality time with your niece or nephew. You don't have to go too far — maybe just a few towns over — but being in a car with someone gives you the opportunity to get to know them in a different way. You can collaborate on the ultimate road trip playlist and play fun car games together. Once you arrive at your destination, explore the sites and grab some ice cream.

This one will have to wait until they're a little older, but a music festival or even an outdoor concert are great places to take your niece or nephew if you want to make new memories and bond over a shared common interest: music. You can help them get festival-ready with a cute outfit and some glitter to sprinkle on their face, and hopefully they'll still be light enough for you to carry on your shoulders so they can get the best #views in the house.

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