longest cruise ship in india

The travellers will also visit the Bihar School of Yoga and Vikramshila University, allowing them to soak up the rich Indian heritage in terms of spirituality and knowledge.

The cruise will also traverse through the biodiversity-rich World Heritage Sites of Sunderbans in the Bay of Bengal delta, famous for Royal Bengal Tigers, as well as Kaziranga National Park, famous for one-horned rhinos.

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World's longest river cruise to set to sail from India

Vessel to travel 3,200km through five states over 51 days.

The two-storey Ganga Vilas cruise ship. Picture: Indian government

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi will on Friday flag off the world’s longest river cruise from the Hindu holy city of Varanasi in northern Uttar Pradesh.

The vessel will sail for more than 3,200km over 51 days.

The two-floor Ganga Vilas ship will depart Varanasi’s Ramnagar port for the marathon journey across two major rivers, the Ganges and the Brahmaputra.

It will cross into Bangladesh before returning to India and crossing five states.

The cruise ship is 62 metres long and 12 metres wide. It has three decks and 18 luxurious suites for 36 passengers.

The vessel has its own sewage treatment plant and uses purified river water for bathing. It also has noise control technology.

It will reach Dibrugarh in north-eastern Assam via Bangladesh, sailing across 27 river systems in the two countries.

The maiden voyage will host 32 tourists from Switzerland.

They will stop at 50 spots including world heritage sites, national parks, river banks and major cities in eastern Bihar, Jharkhand, West Bengal, Dhaka in Bangladesh and Guwahati in Assam.

The cruise ship has a lavish restaurant, spa and sundeck plus a 40-seat restaurant serving continental and Indian cuisine on the main deck, while the upper deck’s outdoor setting has a bar with real teak steamer chairs and coffee tables.

The cost for a suite is believed to 3.8 million rupees ($46,500).

It is hoped the trip will lead to more cruises in the country of 400 rivers.

“The Ganga Vilas, which is an indigenously built ship and operated by an Indian company, will be the longest river cruise in the world,” said Sarbananda Sonowal, Union minister of ports, shipping and waterways.

“The service is expected to unlock the huge untapped river cruise potential in the country.”

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Longest river cruise docks amid fanfare in Varanasi

The ganga vilas cruise, operated by antara cruises, scheduled to be flagged off by modi on january 13, will traverse 3,200km through five states in india and parts of bangladesh over 51 days..

On the banks of the Ganga, Ramnagar is no stranger to foreigners, or domestic tourists. In 2008, UNESCO classified its famous Ramlila as part of the “intangible cultural heritage” of India, and a decade later, Prime Minister Narendra Modi inaugurated the Ramnagar port as part of India’s first inland waterway corridor. Still, when the two floor MV Ganga Vilas, described as one of the world’s longest river cruises, pulled in to the Ramnagar port on January 10, locals flocked to the banks to see the luxury vessel arrive. Pankaj Chaurasia, a paan shop owner, was furiously clicking photographs with his children. “I have seen such cruises only on TV. It is even bigger than what we imagined. It’s like a floating five-star hotel.”

The Ganga Vilas cruise, operated by Antara Cruises, scheduled to be flagged off by Modi on January 13, will traverse 3,200km through five states in India and parts of Bangladesh over 51 days. The vessel with three decks is 62 metres wide and 12 metres in breadth. “There have been instances of river cruises spanning distances of around 2,400 km to 2,700 km. But the Ganga Vilas, which is an indigenously built ship and operated by an Indian company, will be the longest river cruise in the world. Besides connecting National Waterway 1 (NW1) that includes Ganga and National Waterway 2 (NW2) on Brahmaputra, the cruise will cross 27 river systems. The service is expected to unlock the huge untapped river cruise potential in the country,” Sarbananda Sonowal, Union minister of ports, shipping and waterways said on January 9.

For those in Varanasi who collected on the banks of the Ganga, the vessel’s arrival came after a little wait. The MV Ganga Vilas, in its maiden voyage, left Kolkata on December 22 with 32 Swiss tourists on board, and was first meant to reach Varanasi on January 6. Weather conditions and poor visibility meant that it reached Ghazipur, 65km from Varanasi, on January 8. “Due to the delay, they (passengers) checked out on Sunday morning and reached Varanasi the same evening by road. The ship, meanwhile, reached Varanasi on Tuesday,” said Priti Srivastava, deputy director of tourism department, Varanasi.

Ramnagar resident Sanjay Majhi said residents of the town were tracking the progress of the vessel closely. “According to newspaper reports, the cruise was to arrive here on January 6. Since then, we had been eagerly waiting for it. Finally, on Tuesday morning, we got to see it. It’s hard to describe how majestic it looks. You have to see to believe it,” Majhi said. The ship is expected to remain anchored in Ramnagar before it is taken to Varanasi for the flagging-off ceremony.

With a capacity of 80 passengers, Ganga Vilas boasts of 18 luxury suites, and a host of facilities. “Ganga Vilas blends cultural and modern amenities with minimalistic designs and is the definition of a boutique experience on the water. The suites have soothing interiors, furnished with numerous amenities such as French balconies, LED TV’s, safes, smoke detectors, and convertible beds,” said an official of the UP tourism department.

The cruise ship also has a 40-seater restaurant on the main deck, a spa, and a sun deck. “The upper deck features a bar,” a second UP tourism officials said.

Brigitte Reichlin, a Swiss national and one of the 32 guests on board the cruise, said: “Initially, I was planning to take a flight to Varanasi but when I found out about the cruise, I opted for it. I wanted to make my trip to India memorable, and this is a once in a lifetime experience.”

After alighting the Ganga Vilas, the first batch of tourists were taken to the tomb of Lord Cornwallis in Ghazipur, the Ganga Aarti at the Dashashwamedh Ghat, and the newly renovated Kashi Vishwanath corridor, said Jitendra Singh, coordinator of the cruise.

Once it is flagged off by the Prime Minister on January 13, the ship will make pit stops at 50 architecturally important places, and pass through Bangladesh. The ship will reach Patna on the eighth day of the journey and pass through Buxar, then to Kolkata, Dhaka and then finally Dibrugarh via Guwahati and Sibsagar. “Tourists will also halt at Sarnath, Kaziranga in Assam, and Majuli, the largest river island in the world in Assam.”

Sonowal said that the vessel has a draft of 1.4 metres, can sail in depth of as less as 5 feet, but has two tugboats and dredgers in case it runs into sand. “The Ganga Vilas is part of Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s vision of increased and improved connectivity through our rivers, not just for cargo movement, but for passenger cruises as well. This will be a boost for tourism and will also open employments avenues. There’s already lot of excitement about Ganga Vilas. The first group of tourists has expressed interest to spread word about it in their country. We expect six more such trips within this year,” Sonowal said.

Oliver Fredrick is working in capacity of Senior Correspondent and is based in Lucknow. Other than covering important beats like Railways, Defense, Archaeological Survey of India (ASI), District Administration, he loves to write on human interest stories as it gives an instant connect with the readers. In his career of around 10 years, he has done several path-breaking stories which had forced the State Government authorities to take appropriate actions. Prior coming to Lucknow, he was based in Bareilly and was taking care of politically-sensitive West UP districts like Rampur, Moradabad, Pilibhit, Badaun,Muzaffarnagar and others. ...view detail

Utpal is a Senior Assistant Editor based in Guwahati. He covers seven states of North-East India and heads the editorial team for the region. He was previously based in Kathmandu, Dehradun and Delhi with Hindustan Times. ...view detail

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• Luxury Cruises

Top 5 Luxury Cruises in India

Even for the most affluent of the individuals, who might have experienced top of the line luxury and extravagance, the allure of a luxury cruise is undeniable. The amazing services, combined with the close emphasis on detail and priority for the satisfaction and enjoyment for the guests is something which cannot be ignored in case of these cruise ships when they are compared to the ordinary liners. There was a time when luxury cruises was some kind of a dream for an ordinary individual and only few could afford this extravaganza.

However, with the introduction of Luxury Cruises within the exotic locales of India, this dream became much more accessible.

Some of these liners, such as The Oberoi MV Vrinda, River Ganges Heritage Cruise, and The Sunderbans Luxury Cruise etc. have over the time gained much popularity within the tourist community for their excellent services, amazing comfort and abundant leisure to provide the visitors an incredible time that will remain indelible from their mind for a long time.

So, in addition to the luxury cruises mentioned above, which are the other ships in the line for such an incomparable indulgent experience on the waters of India and in the wonderfully exquisite locations? Let’s find out the Top 5 Luxury Cruises in India in the following article.

Sunderbans Luxury Cruise

The Sunderbans is one of the largest reserve of mangrove ecosystem and a declared 1985 UNESCO World heritage site. Being one of the most beautiful places on Earth, the location is a heaven of tremendous natural beauty, astonishing sites, exotic wildlife with a varied diversity of birds, reptiles, invertebrate species and of course the Royal Bengal Tiger and numerous water channels, creeks and streams flowing through its extensive area.

A sojourn through this incredible wealth of nature combined with memorable creek rides, thrilling forest walks, exploratory visits to fishermen’s coves and adventurous stopovers at the watch towers is one of the most cherished wishes for many. Bringing you this magical and exciting trip subdued in amazing luxury and amenities is Sunderbans Luxury Cruise. The fabulous excursion takes you through rambling water channels and creeks, into the serenity of the forests and letting you soak in the incredible ambience. This memorable journey is attended by an excellent hospitality ministered by expert chefs who take care of your appetite and are there to serve your taste buds by bringing you dishes of the recipes from all over the world.

Moreover, there is a facility of a gym, while soothing your nerves and muscles is the exclusive Ayurveda treatment and massage parlor. Moreover, there is also a library and a bar, a conference room with internet facilities and fax to enable travelers, both leisure and corporate, to have a useful and relaxing time. M.V. Paramhansa, the cruise letting you enjoy the beauty of Sunderbans is a spacious vessel, approximately 53 m in length with a total number of 32 cabins. All the rooms come with air condition and has the facility of attached bathrooms for the convenience of the guests. With 12 luxury rooms on the first deck and 20 deluxe rooms on the main deck, other attached amenities include a telephone, tea and coffee maker, ample reading stuff and also an emergency kit. With such a marvelous reception, comfort and luxury in such a wonderful setting is definitely an experience of a lifetime.

[Plan your Sunderbans Cruise ]  

The Oberoi M.V. Vrinda Cruise

The  Oberoi M.V  Vrinda is one of the most luxurious, private accommodations available on the backwaters of Kerala. Decked with fully furnished deluxe cabins with king-sized beds, paneled with shining teak flooring and filled with natural light, these cabins have been designed keeping the comfort and convenience of the guests in mind and are fixed with all the latest equipment and provided with top of the level services. These include a 42” LCD television, a DVD player, an electronic safe and internationally compatible plug points as well as other complimentary service include a 24-hour personal butler, hi-speed Wi-Fi and an in house entertainment system.

The in-house restaurant is a wonderful, all day long eating space, filled with natural light and refreshing air. For the entertainment of the guests, an exquisite seating arrangement is done and they are treated to traditional dance and musical performances.

Guests can book the whole boat or a small conference or seminar room for the business and corporate meetings. The Oberoi M V Vrinda Cruise takes you along through the largest backwater stretch, i.e. the Vembanad Lake, the vibrant waterways of Allepy. Within such a beautiful and wonderful settings and conducted with such luxuries and facilities, cruising with The Oberoi M V Vrinda is an experience worth being etched in your mind forever.

[Plan your Oberoi Vrinda Cruise ]

River Ganges Heritage Cruise

One of the greatest heritage and luxury cruises, taking you along one of the greatest rivers in the world-The Ganges, M.V Paramhansa, the luxury cruise ship, is all about grandeur, comfort and style, letting you soak the amazing local ambience around the India’s most sacred river.

The exquisite  hospitality on board will strike a chord with the guests as the ship with its 32 spacious, fully furnished rooms with latest of facilities like a telephone connection, reading material, tea and coffee maker etc. will make the guests enjoy the best of their leisure time and will be able to sufficiently relax and unwind themselves.

Almost all the needs of a luxury vessel has been taken care of in the ship as tourists are treated to the convenience of massage parlor, a gym and a modern library. Travelling by the cruise, one will enjoy an easy pace of life on board with amenities of international standards. On the other hand, for the pleasure of the taste buds, the chefs on the ship will prepare for you some the most appetizing, delectable multi-cuisine dishes for the best of experiences.

Itinerary of the cruise covers several sites of the eastern part of India which lies along the banks of the Ganges. Tourists will get to see the famous battlefield of Plassey, the sacred site of Navadvip, experience the elegant French ambience of Chandanagar, while they will also sail through the popular and historic cities and town of Kolkata, Dakshineshwar, Belur, Kalna, Mayapur and Murshidabad as well. The Ganges is considered holy for Hindus and has been a cradle for a major civilization of the world.

Thus, taking a cruise over this amazing and timeless river is one of the most incredible adventures of a lifetime.

 [Book your stay at River Ganges Heritage Cruise ]

M.V Mahabaahu Cruise

M.V Mahabaahu is a supremely luxury expedition on the mighty Bharamaputra river which flows through the state of Assam and drains into Bay of Bengal. The river spans from 3 to 40 kilometers through Assam and flows under the shadow of the mighty eastern Himalayas, some of which reach a height of imposing 7,400 meters. Visitors get to experience excellent luxury along with the natural beauty around the river within the comfort of two suites, nine superior cabins with attached balconies and 12 superior cabins without balconies.

The cruise takes the guests across a range of attractions some of which are beautiful forests, exotic sights, rice paddies of Assam and exquisite Buddhist monasteries and Hindu gurukuls, carrying a tradition of indigenous method of teaching for over 5,000 years. The ship is 55m long and 10 m wide and has 5 decks including one inside the hull and a top deck which is open to sun.

The MV Mahabahu was awarded the Tourism Award for 2012 by the CNBC News Channel. Whether a guest chooses three, five or seven nights down or upstream, they are treated with excellent hospitality and served with some of the most savory, multi-cuisine dishes.

Moreover, under the guidance of experienced senior officials, guests can explore the region, browse the ship’s own well-stocked library, enjoy the relaxing board games or even ease off in the ship’s rejuvenating health spas, message facilities and a range of other indulging treatments.

[Book your MV Mahabaahu Cruise Holiday ]

Lakshadweep Cruise

Lakshawadweep is one of the most exotic destinations in India rich with amazing diversity of marine life and astonishing sights with expansive sandy beaches, clear and azure sea water and incredible range of the flora and fauna. Making you experience these exquisite views and extraordinary beauty with incomparable comfort is M.V. Kavarati, the fabulous cruise ship designed especially for the Lakshadweep Islands to promote tourism.

The 120 meter long ship with a total carrying capacity of 700 passengers and 200 tons of cargo is the largest passenger vessel ever created in India that is built with a total estimated cost of Rs. 173 crore INR. A modern liner fixed with latest comforts and amenities, the ship has a world-class 152-seater cafeteria, a 100-seater dining hall, a gymnasium, a recreation room and a large airspace for the best of the cruise experiences for the guests.

The vessel has in total of 100 Deluxe Berths and 70 First Class Berths that accommodate enough guests according to their convenience and comfort. Built by Hindustan Shipyard, Vishakapatnam, the ship has a robust structure and a comfortable make up with elegant international standard services. It has independent galleys, halls, swimming pool and a helipad.

The guests are treated to some really delectable and mouthwatering dishes to let them have a memorable journey. Besides, there is a facility of on-call entertainment, doctor on-call, and upper deck promenade as well. Lakshwadeep has in total of 36 islands and is located about 220 km from the Kerala’s Malabar Coast.

It is one of the most popular tourist destination and an exotic traveler’s paradise. In addition to the this amazing cruise, travelers can enjoy numerous water sporting activities like boating, kayaking, jet skis, sea swimming, snorkeling and deep sea diving at Lakshwadeep. With such an incredible expedition along with stunningly beautiful views and in the lap of extraordinary luxury is an experience which is hard to miss.

[Book your luxury cruises holidays in India at IndianLuxuryTrains.com ]

Related Post  40 Awesome Ideas for Luxury Holidays in India

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Top 7 Amazing and Luxury Cruise Lines of India

The entire India is connect with rivers, serene backwaters, lagoons and sea. Cruising in India is the wonderful way of exploring aquatic life, unique ecosystem and marine fauna in a peaceful manner.

Angriya – Mumbai To Goa

Angriya is the India’s first luxury cruise that sail from Mumbai to Goa. The luxury cruise ship features dance floor, spa, restaurants, pool, deluxe rooms and luxury suites that accommodate 399 passengers.

Travel time of cruise from Mumbai to Goa is 14 hours and tickets price range between 7000 to 12000. The journey from Mumbai starts at 4 pm and reaching Goa by 9 am next day offering both sunrise and sunset during the journey.

Nefertiti – Kochi To Kozhikode

Kerala is all set to launch ultra luxurious cruise ship Nefertiti to promote cruise tourism in India. The Egyptian themed luxury vessel will be launched in October end from Kochi to Kozhikode, as part of the cruise tourism in Kerala .

Oberoi Motor Vessel Vrinda Cruise – Alleppey Backwaters

Oberoi Motor Vessel Vrinda Cruise sailing through the serene waters of backwaters of Kerala and let you explore the beauty of God’s own country. The five star vessel offers the best experience of the picturesque backwaters of Kerala and romantic holiday night journey.

How can I go to Andaman by Sea?

Andaman Islands is the must visit tourist place in India and the sea cruise rides across the Bay of Bengal offer the memorable trip. The cruise to Andaman only available from the ports of Kolkata, Vizag, and Chennai that operates MV Nicobar, MV Swaraj Dweep,MV Harshavardhana, MV Nancowry type cruises once a week.

MV. Harshavardhana – Cruises to Andaman

Most popular sea routes for the cruises to Andaman are from Kolkata, Vizag, and Chennai, These are non luxury cruise liners meant to transport passengers with all the basis facility and cost you around 5600 INR per person in first class cabin.

MV. Mahabaahu – Brahmaputra River Cruise

The luxurious MV. Mahabaahu Brahmaputra river cruise offers the opportunity to explore India’s most fascinating and diverse states, Assam by river cruise. The ship host private balconies, swimming pool and all modern safety features and the cruise sail to greatest river island and near by the Kaziranga National Park.

M.V. Paramhamsa – Sunderbans Cruise

Sunderbans cruise is the most amazing cruises in India that sail over the mangrove forest and river delta. The delta- estuarine national park of Sunderbans is home to list of mysterious wild animals such as swamp tiger, saltwater crocodiles and unique birdlife.

Alaknanda – Gange River Cruise

Alaknanda is another luxury cruise vessel launched in Varanasi over river Ganga , The vessel is the first ever luxury cruise in Varanasi that roams around the ghats with sunrise and sunset and Ganga aarti in the evening.

What are the Sea Ports to promote Cruise Tourism in India?

Top five major ports of the country have been selected to promote Cruise Tourism in India. The facility and infrastructure will be build as cruise terminals at Cochin, Mumbai, Goa, Chennai and New Mangalore Port .

Lakshadweep Cruise, cruise port of Mangalore and Goa Cruise Destinations are few more popular destinations in India to promote Cruise Tourism .

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Inside the largest cruise ship in the world: 20 decks, 17000 square feet water park, an aqua theatre and more

By Umaima Saeed

The Icon of the Seas, hailed as the upcoming largest cruise ship in the world in gross tonnage, is set to debut in 2024. It is being hailed as the world's largest cruise ship in gross tonnage, making it an enticing choice for those seeking a luxurious cruising experience. The ship has already completed its first ocean trial in Turku, Finland. Here’s everything you want to know about the grand vessel.

Inside the largest cruise ship in the world: 20 decks, 17,000 square feet water park, an aqua theatre and more

The cruise ship is expected to start its operations in early 2024, departing from the Port of Miami on January 27, according to  News18 .

With a length of 1,200 feet (365 meters) and a weight of 250,800 tonnes, Icon of the Seas is reportedly the largest cruise ship ever built. The vessel is expected to accommodate approximately 2,350 crew members and 5,610 passengers on its voyage next year. However, the reported passenger capacity of over 7,960 indicates that the ship has the potential to carry more passengers.

The luxurious cruise ship has 20 decks, offering plenty of space for various amenities. Some facilities include a water park with six slides, seven pools - including the largest pool at sea, a dome area, an aqua theatre, and a swim-up bar with an infinity pool area. This will be the first suspended infinity pool found on any ship, according to  The Statesman . The floor-to-ceiling windows will offer passengers expansive views of the ocean.

The most captivating feature of Royal Caribbean's Icon of the Seas is the enormous waterpark at the back of the ship. This waterpark, called Category 6, is part of a larger neighbourhood known as Thrill Island, which covers a significant portion of the aft part of the ship.

The waterpark, spanning 17,000 square feet and occupying nearly the entire starboard side of the area, offers six different waterslides. Thrill Island also features Base Camp, a dining spot where you can enjoy fast food. Food and beverage options will include both complementary and for-purchase items. Other activities at Thrill Island include golfing, flowriding and rock wall climbing.

On June 19, 2023, the Icon of the Seas began its initial sea trials before returning to the Meyer Turku shipyard on June 22, where it will undergo final adjustments.

For a seven-night stay, the lowest available rate is $1,968 (Rs 1 lakh and 61 thousand approx.), according to Royal Caribbean's website. The most expensive ticket, with which you can stay in one of the suites, will cost $4.520 (Rs 3 lakh and 71 thousand). The prices will fluctuate depending on your chosen dates. The ship will start from Miami, Florida, and travel through Philipsburg, St. Maarten, Charlotte Amalie, US Virgin Island and CocoCay, Bahamas, before turning to Miami again. CocoCay is one of the Berry Islands in the Bahamas, used for tourism exclusively by the Royal Caribbean Group.

The Icon of the Seas is a project by Royal Caribbean International (RCI), a popular cruise line brand. RCI was originally founded in 1968 in Norway before becoming a wholly owned subsidiary of Royal Caribbean Group, a global cruise holding company, in 1997. Royal Caribbean Group, the world's second-largest cruise line operator, owns several other cruise line brands, including Celebrity Cruises, Azamara, and Silversea Cruises. It has its headquarters in Miami, Florida.

According to  The Statesman , Royal Caribbean filed a trademark application for "Icon of the Seas" in 2016.

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I sailed on Royal Caribbean's 2 largest cruise ships. They were shockingly similar for the $1,000 difference

• Royal Caribbean operates many of the cruise industry's biggest ships.
• Icon of the Seas  launched in January, dethroning its predecessor, Wonder of the Seas, as the world's largest.
• Here's how the two mega-ships compare in size, neighborhoods, amenities, dining, cabins, and costs.

Icon of the Seas, Royal Caribbean's new mega-cruise ship darling, was deemed a success before it was even built.

In January, the highly anticipated vessel — complete with more than 40 bars and restaurants, a six-slide waterpark, and a waterfall — set sail, dethroning its less than two-year-old precursor, the Wonder of the Seas , as the world's largest cruise ship.

Before its debut, Michael Bayley, the president and CEO of Royal Caribbean International, had already repeatedly called Icon its "best-selling product" yet. The company experienced its largest booking day ever when reservations opened for Icon of the Seas more than a year before its launch, it said

Despite all of this fanfare, you might be surprised by how similar it is to its predecessor.

I've sailed on both ships. Let's see how Icon and Wonder compare in six categories: size, neighborhoods, amenities, dining, cabins, and costs.

Both ships stunt the size of their competitors.

Wonder of the Seas debuted in 2022 as the then-world's largest cruise liner, measuring 235,600 gross-tons, 1,188 feet-long, and 18 decks-tall. The ship can accommodate up to 9,288 people, including 2,204 crew.

Icon of the Seas is, comparatively, 13,063 gross-tons heavier, eight feet longer, and two decks taller. It can sail up to 9,950 people, including 2,350 crew, although it's 52 feet less wide than its predecessor.

Both vessels feel more like amusement parks than traditional cruise ships.

Royal Caribbean invited me on complimentary, non-revenue sailings on both ships: two nights on Wonder in late 2022 and three nights on Icon in January.

I spent most of my time lost, overwhelmed, and exhausted.

It's no surprise both ships are operating weeklong itineraries this year. Any less, and you might not have time to experience all the activities and restaurants on your list.

Like other Royal Caribbean ships, Wonder and Icon have eight 'neighborhoods' that serve separate purposes.

The new ship shares three of Wonder of the Seas' neighborhoods : Central Park, Royal Promenade, and Suite.

Icon's other five — Thrill Island , Surfside, Hideaway, Chill Island, and AquaDome — are a first for the cruise line.

Many of the ships' amenities overlap, but in differing quantities.

Wonder has three waterslides. Icon has a six-slide waterpark complete with rafting and racing options.

Both have increasingly popular cruise amenities like decks-long dry slides, mini-golf courses, rock climbing walls, and playgrounds.

But instead of Wonder of the Seas' zipline , Icon of the Seas has Crown's Edge, a thrilling agility course with a small zipline that leaves travelers dangling 154 feet above the ocean.

Wonder’s Boardwalk neighborhood was my go-to.

Boardwalk delivered exactly as it had promised: an open-air space grounded by wood-planked floors, a hot dog stand, a sweets store, and kitschy, colorful decor.

Icon of the Seas' Surfside , designed for families with young children, felt like its closest dupe.

Both neighborhoods had a carousel, an outdoor playground, and family-friendly dining. But Surfside was more toddler-friendly, as suggested by the children's water play area and nighttime story readings.

On to entertainment: Both mega-ships have ice skating performances and exciting multi-disciplinary shows at the AquaTheater.

But travelers who enjoy musicals at sea will want to stick to Icon.

Unlike its predecessor, the new ship shows a rendition of Broadway hit "The Wizard of Oz" — Munchkins, a puppet Toto, and a 16-piece live band included.

The layout of Icon's amenities were better than its cousin.

Some of Wonder of the Seas' enticing outdoor amenities — like the surf simulator, zipline, and mini-golf course — are clustered on the deck above and away from the pools and water slides.

This layout might be difficult for parents with children who bounce from one activity to the next. Wouldn't it be easier to have all of these outdoor extras near each other, or at least on the same deck, for parental supervision purposes?

This is where Icon of the Seas excelled: All its exciting open-air activities were adjacent.

The rows of pools flowed perfectly into Thrill Island's waterpark , rock climbing walls, mini-golf course, and Crown's Edge.

The best part? The adult-only Hideaway — which flexes an infinity pool club with a DJ — is right behind Thrill Island, creating a clear separation between parents and their children without being too far from each other.

'Free' options like the buffet and build-your-own tacos and burritos bar are available on both ships.

But you won't find the larger vessel's five-stall food hall or mini-golf-adjacent finger food stand on Wonder.

As expected, Icon of the Seas has more dining options than its predecessor, although there are some overlaps.

Wonder of the Seas has 11 bars and 21 dining venues (9 complimentary and 12 upcharged).

Icon of the Seas has eight more bars, four more complimentary restaurants, and three more specialty dining choices.

Nor will you find the new ship’s plush $200-a-person Empire Supper Club on any other cruise liner.

The multi-course dinner, paired with cocktails and live music, stunts the cost of either vessel's other dinner options.

But if you love Johnny Rockets, you’ll be disappointed by Icon of the Seas.

Restaurants like the popular burger chain and Southern comfort-inspired Mason Jar are only on Wonder of the Seas. Fine by me: My fried chicken at Mason Jar was as dry as a desert.

The younger ship doesn't have Wonder's robot bartender-armed bar either. It does, however, have new watering holes with dueling pianos and live jazz.

Surprisingly, Wonder of the Seas has 65 more cabins than its new cousin.

But several of Icon's 28 stateroom categories are a first for the cruise line.

This includes the new family infinite balcony cabin, which has a small bunk bed nook for children.

Royal Caribbean assigned me an ocean-view balcony stateroom on both ships.

My Wonder of the Seas' cabin was 20 square-feet smaller than the one on Icon. But my bathroom on the latter was so tiny, I accidentally elbowed the walls at almost every turn.

Sailing on the world's largest cruise ship doesn't mean you'll have the world's largest cabin after all.

Wonder and Icon are both operating seven-night roundtrip itineraries from Florida to the Caribbean.

In 2024, Wonder of the Seas is scheduled for year-round sailings from Port Canaveral to the Caribbean and Royal Caribbean's private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay , starting at $700 per person.

Icon of the Seas is spending its first year in service operating nearly identical itineraries but from Miami instead. The cheapest 2024 option is $1,786 per person.

That's a difference of more than $125 per person per day.

"Bookings and pricing for Icon of the Seas can only be described as 'iconic,'" Naftali Holtz, the CFO of Royal Caribbean Group, told analysts in February.

Icon of the Seas’ name speaks for itself.

If your family is looking for a jam-packed kid-friendly cruise with enough amenities to stay entertained for a week, both ships are a great option.

But if you're a seasoned mega-ship-cruiser looking to experience something new, Icon of the Seas is your best bet.

They may be similar, but no other behemoth cruise liner has a waterpark for children and a pool club for adults just dozens of feet from each other.

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The top 10 biggest cruise ships in the world

M odern cruise ships continue to grow in size, with the biggest cruise ship, the Icon of the Seas , launching at the start of this year, and her sister ship the Star of the Seas expected to surpass her in size.

Both of these ships are operated by Royal Caribbean International, which operates five of the ten largest cruise ships in the world. Carnival Corporation, arguably the biggest cruise company in the world, features three times on the list through its subsidiaries P&O Cruises and Costa Cruises.

All of the heaviest cruise ships in the world were built within the last 20 years, although the majority – six of the ten – were built within the last five years.

So, here are the top ten biggest cruise ships in the world, by gross tonnage. 

10. P&O Cruises MS Arvia : 185,581 gross tonnes

The MS Arvia is P&O Cruises’ fourth ship to be built by German shipyard Meyer Werft. Weighing in at 185,581 gross tonnes, the 345m (1,130-foot) Arvia is slightly larger than her sister ship, the MS Iona . The 20-deck ship is the largest ship commissioned for the British cruise market and has a maximum passenger capacity of 6,264 passengers, with 1,800 crew onboard. 

The ship is the second liquefied natural gas (LNG)-powered Excellence-class vessel for P&O, following the Iona . Arvia is powered by a 61,760kW LNG drive system, with a propulsion power of 37 megawatts. The LNG-powered propulsion system allows the vessel to sail at a maximum speed of 21.5 knots.

After being floated out in August 2022, the Arvia mainly operates itineraries around the Caribbean or the Mediterranean.

9. Costa Cruises – Costa Smeralda : 185,010 gross tonnes

The Costa Smeralda is the first LNG-powered vessel in the Costa Cruises fleet. With a gross tonnage of 185,010gt, the 20-deck Excellence-class ship measures 337m (1,106 feet) in length. The second LNG-powered cruise ship to enter operation in the world, she has a maximum capacity of 6,554 passengers with 1,646 crew and a service speed of 21.5 knots.

Construction of the Costa Smeralda began at the Meyer shipyard in Turku, Finland, in September 2017. Meyer Turku collaborated with the Meyer Werft Papenburg shipyard to develop and integrate the LNG propulsion plant for the ship. She is fitted with four 16-cylinder, Caterpillar MaK 16VM46DF engines, with 15.4 megawatts (20,710 horsepower) output per engine, resulting in a maximum power of  37 megawatts (50,000 horsepower).

The ship, which was named after the Emerald Coast of Sardinia, entered service in December 2019 , departing Savona on its maiden voyage in the Mediterranean, where it has sailed since.

8. Costa Cruises – Costa Toscana : 186,364 gross tonnes

The Costa Toscana is the sister ship of the Costa Smeralda and is also powered by LNG . measuring 337m (1,106 feet) long and weighing in at 186,364 gross tonnes, the Toscana has a maximum capacity of 6,338 passengers and 1,678 staff across her 20 decks.

Like her sister ship, the Toscana was also built at the Meyer shipyard in Finland, with construction completed in 2021. She is also powered by four MaK-Caterpillar engines, with a total power of 57.2 megawatts (76,706 horsepower), and two ABB Azipod motors , resulting in a service speed of 17 knots.

Named in homage to the Tuscany region of Italy, Costa Toscana mainly sails around the Mediterranean Sea but Costa Cruises has also used the ship to sail itineraries further afield, such as around Brazil and the UAE.

7. MSC Cruises – MSC World Europa : 215,863 gross tonnes

The only entry in the top ten from MSC Cruises, MSC World Europa measures 333m (1,094 feet) in length. With 215,863 gross tonnage, she can house more people than any other ship in the MSC fleet: up to 6,762 passengers across 2,633 cabins spread over 22 decks, in addition to 2,138 crew.

Built by Chantiers de l’Atlantique in Saint-Nazaire, France, the World Europa ’s LNG-power propulsion system was subcontracted to Finland-based Wärtsilä. Five LNG-powered, 14-cylinder Wartsila 46DF dual-fuel engines power the vessel, with a propulsion power of 44 megawatts ( 59,005 horsepower). She also features nitrogen oxide reduction (NOR) units, two Wartsila LNGPac fuel storage and supply systems, seven thrusters, and two fixed-pitch propellers. 

The MSC World Europa was floated out at the end of 2021 and was initially used as an accommodation vessel for fans attending the 2022 FIFA World Cup, with the ship berthed at Doha Port in Qatar during the tournament. Following the competition, the ship subsequently travelled several routes around the UAE, before sailing to the Mediterranean, where it has sailed itineraries since.

6. Royal Caribbean International – Allure of the Seas : 225,282 gross tonnes

The first of many entries on this list operated by Royal Caribbean, Allure of the Seas weighs in at 225,282 gross tonnes. Measuring 362m (1,187 feet), she is only 50mm (2 inches) longer than her sister ship the Oasis of the Seas . The Allure has a maximum capacity of 6,780 passengers and 2,200 crew across 18 decks.

Built at the Turku Shipyard in Finland, the Allure took two years to build , floating out in 2010. She features six Wärtsilä 46 diesel engines with a total power output of 97 megawatts (130,053 horsepower). It is propelled by three electric Azipod azimuth thrusters. The ship can travel at a cruising speed of 22 knots.

With a homeport of Galveston, Texas in the US, the Allure mainly serves itineraries around the Bahamas but she is scheduled to sail routes around the Mediterranean in 2025.

5. Royal Caribbean International – Oasis of the Seas : 226,838 gross tonnes

The oldest ship on this list, the Oasis of the Seas has been in service for over a decade. She was the biggest cruise ship at the time when floated out in 2009, with a gross tonnage of 226,838gt and a length of 360m (1,181 feet). The Oasis has a maximum capacity of 6,699 passengers and 2,181 staff across 18 decks.

The Oasis took two years to build at the Meyer shipyard in Turku, Finland, with the keel laid on 12 November 2007 and the ship arriving at her homeport of Port Everglades in Florida, US, on 13 November 2009.

The Oasis is powered by eight Wärtsilä V12 diesel engines, which generate 5.6 megawatts (7,500 horsepower) each, alongside four bow thrusters. The main propulsion system consists of three 20-megawatt (26,820 horsepower) electric Azipod motors, resulting in a combined propulsion power of 82 megawatts (109,964 horsepower) and a standard cruising speed of 23 knots.

The Oasis mainly operates routes around the Caribbean, but occasionally repositions to offer itineraries in the Mediterranean.

4. Royal Caribbean International – Harmony of the Seas : 226,963 gross tonnes

The third Oasis-class ship built by Royal Caribbean, Harmony of the Seas weighed in bigger than her existing sister ships at launch in 2016, with 226,963 gross tonnage, but she has since been surpassed by newer vessels. With a total length of 362m (1,188 feet), Harmony has a maximum capacity of 6,780 passengers and 2,300 staff across 18 decks.

Royal Caribbean placed an order with STX France for the construction of Harmony of the Seas in December 2012. The first steel for the ship was cut at STX France’s Saint-Nazaire shipyard in September 2013, while the keel-laying ceremony was held in May 2014.

The Harmony is powered by three 18.9-megawatt Wärtsilä 16V46 16-cylinder main generator diesel engines and three Wärtsilä 12V46 12-cylinder engines producing 13.9 megawatts each. The propulsion power is provided by three electric Azipod azimuth thrusters and manoeuvring is assisted by four 5.5-megawatt Wärtsilä CT 3500 tunnel thrusters. The propulsion system results in 82 megawatts (109,964 horsepower) and enables the ship to sail at a standard speed of 23 knots.

Harmony of the Seas embarked on her inaugural seven-night Western Mediterranean cruise from Barcelona, Spain, in June 2016, and currently operates itineraries around the Western Caribbean from her homeport of Galveston, Texas in the US.

3. Royal Caribbean International – Symphony of the Seas : 228,081 gross tonnes

At launch in 2018, the Symphony of the Seas surpassed the Harmony as the biggest cruise ship, weighing in at 228,081 gross tonnes. Measuring 361m (1,185 feet), the Symphony has a maximum capacity of 6,680 passengers and 2,200 staff across 18 decks and was the testing ground for Royal Caribbean's new muster drill . With a total length of 361m (1,185 feet), She is roughly 30 metres (98 feet) longer than the largest military ships , the US Nimitz-class aircraft carriers and the USS Gerald R. Ford .

The keel-laying ceremony for the Symphony of the Seas was held in October 2015 at STX’s Saint-Nazaire shipyard in France, and the ship sailed out in June 2017. She is powered by six diesel sets, each composed of three Wärtsilä 16V46D engines and three Wärtsilä 12V46D engines, as well as three 20-megawatt electric Azipod main engines – resulting in 82 megawatts (109,964 horsepower) of propulsion power and a standard cruising speed of 22 knots.

The Symphony commenced her seven-day maiden voyage from Barcelona in April 2018, and since then has mainly operated itineraries around the Caribbean from her homeports of Miami, New York, and Fort Lauderdale.

2. Royal Caribbean International – Wonder of the Seas : 235,600 gross tonnes

Royal Caribbean's flagship, Wonder of the Seas is the fifth Oasis-class cruise ship built for the cruise company. Weighing in at 235,600 gross tonnes, the Wonder was the largest ship in the world when she was completed in January 2022. Measuring 362m (1,187 feet) in length, the 18-deck Wonder has a maximum capacity of 7,084 guests across its 2,867 staterooms, as well as housing 2,369 crew.

Built by Chantiers de l’Atlantique in Saint-Nazaire, Wonder is powered by two Wärtsilä 16V46D engines and four Wärtsilä 12V46D engines; and uses three 20-megawatt electric Azipod engines for propulsion, combining for a propulsion power of 82 megawatts (109,964 horsepower and a standard cruising speed of 22 knots.

The Wonder sailed her maiden voyage in March 2022 from Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and has since served itineraries around the Caribbean from her homeports of Miami and Cape Canaveral.

1. Royal Caribbean International – Icon of the Seas : 248,663 gross tonnes

Weighing 248,663 gross tonnes and measuring 365 metres (1,1967 feet), the Icon of the Seas is the largest cruise ship in the world. Christened on 23 January 2024, the Icon has a maximum capacity of 7,600 passengers and 2,350 crew across 20 decks. She is the lead ship of the new Icon-class, with a sister ship the Star of the Seas due to be delivered in 2025 and another ship planned for delivery in 2026.

Built by Meyer Turku in Finland, the Icon is the first ship in the Royal Caribbean fleet that can be powered by LNG. It uses three Wärtsilä 14V46DF and three Wärtsilä 12V46DF for its main generator engines, which provide 67.5 megawatts of energy to run the ship. She is propelled by three 20-megawatt Azipod thrusters as well as five 4.8-megawatt Wärtsilä WTT-45 CP bow thrusters, with a cruising speed of 22 knots.

After sailing her maiden voyage on 27 January 2024, the Icon now sails year-round itineraries of seven-night trips around the Eastern and Western Caribbean from her homeport of Miami, Florida.

"The top 10 biggest cruise ships in the world" was originally created and published by Ship Technology , a GlobalData owned brand.

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Tangled in Steel With No Way Out: How the Crew Stuck in Baltimore Is Faring

Twenty-two seafarers from India find themselves not only trapped in the ship that struck the Francis Scott Key Bridge, but also in an unexpected spotlight.

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By Eduardo Medina

Reporting from Baltimore

Even from miles away, the destruction of the Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore is a jarring visual: Chunks of steel jut above the water like metallic icebergs. Twisted gray beams protrude in crooked positions. From a park near Fort McHenry, visitors can see the giant cargo ship that struck the bridge and remains lodged in the wreckage.

Less visible, however, are the 22 crew members from India who have remained on the ship, named the Dali, since the disaster on Tuesday.

Little is publicly known about them other than that they are seafarers who embarked on a journey aboard the 985-foot-long cargo ship that was on its way to Sri Lanka, carrying 4,700 shipping containers, when it lost power and struck the Key Bridge, causing the structure to collapse.

Since the accident, which killed six construction workers, the crew members have found themselves in an unexpected spotlight. While keeping the ship operable, they are answering a deluge of questions from officials investigating the nighttime catastrophe, as the evidence of what occurred lies around them in mangled ruins stretching across the bow and deck.

While officials investigate what could have caused the tragedy, another question has emerged this week: What could the crew members, who have limited access to the outside world, be going through right now?

“They must feel this weight of responsibility that they couldn’t stop it from happening,” said Joshua Messick, the executive director of the Baltimore International Seafarers’ Center , a religious nonprofit that seeks to protect the rights of mariners.

Even so, officials have praised the crew’s swift mayday message that was transmitted over the radio as the ship lost power on Tuesday. Before the Dali struck the bridge, traveling at a rapid eight knots, the mayday call helped police officers stop traffic from heading onto the bridge, most likely saving many lives, the authorities said. A local harbor pilot with more than 10 years of experience was onboard, as well as an apprentice pilot in training.

As the ship remains stuck in the Port of Baltimore, where it may remain for weeks, the lives of the crew members have entered an uncertain phase. But one thing is certain: They will no longer cruise through the sea around South Africa toward their destination in Sri Lanka anytime soon.

But they are not going to imminently dock at the port either, as they must wait for enough debris to be cleared to free the ship and reopen the channel to one of the busiest ports in the United States. On Saturday, the governor of Maryland said officials planned to remove the first piece of the debris.

So, for now, crew members are most likely working a grueling schedule to maintain the ship that is similar to the one they would be if they were out at sea. The difference, though, is that they are in an immobile state as the eyes of the world fixate on them, experts said.

“The captain of the vessel and the crew have a duty to the ship,” said Stephen Frailey, a partner at Pacific Maritime Group, which helps with marine salvage and wreck removal.

According to Chris James, who works for a consulting firm assisting the ship’s management company, Synergy Marine, the crew members have ample supplies of food and water, as well as plenty of fuel to keep the generators going. Indeed, when Jennifer Homendy, the chair of the National Transportation Safety Board, went onboard the ship this week, she observed the cook cooking. “It smelled very good,” she said.

But there is still no exact timeline for when the ship might be extracted from the wreckage, Mr. James said. Once the N.T.S.B. and the Coast Guard finish their investigations, he said, “we’ll look at potentially swapping the crew out and getting them home.”

India, the home country of the crew members, is one of the world’s largest hubs for seafarers, according to John A. Konrad, a ship captain and the chief executive of gCaptain, a maritime and offshore industry news website. Though Indian captains and engineers are paid less than their American counterparts, Mr. Konrad said, they make a decent living when they work for three or more months out of the year at sea.

Working on a cargo ship, he said, is a 24-hour ordeal with no weekends off: Every day, decks are checked for maintenance and safety, cooks and cleaners serve the other members, and workers in the engine room keep things on track.

Cargo ship crew members do have some leisurely activities available to them onboard, though, such as video game breaks in cabins, workouts in gyms, table tennis sessions and movie nights. The Dali crew has at least a TV, magazines and books onboard, said Andrew Middleton, who runs Apostleship of the Sea, a program that ministers to sailors coming through the port.

Clistan Joy Sequeira, an Indian seafarer who was not on the Dali but who docked in Baltimore from another cargo ship on Friday, said in an interview that he feared the repercussions that the bridge collapse could have on his industry and his country.

“I’m scared that because this crew is Indian, our international image will suffer,” said Mr. Sequeira, 31. “Maybe we lose jobs.”

Some in Baltimore’s port community have had some contact with the Dali crew, albeit brief, through third parties or WhatsApp. Mr. Messick said he sent the crew two Wi-Fi hot spots on Friday because they did not have internet onboard.

Mr. Middleton said he had been keeping in touch with two crew members, reminding them that “we’re here for them.”

“When I’ve asked how they’re doing, their answers range from ‘good’ to ‘great,’” he said. “So, by their own accounts, they’re OK.”

Mr. Messick said he had also sent a care package to the crew through a salvage company helping with operations. In the package were candy, home-baked muffins from a concerned local and thank-you cards from children.

With so many questions still unanswered about the crew members’ next steps, Mr. Messick said he was eager to provide them with trauma care and emotional support. On Friday, he wrote a letter to the captain, which was delivered by another vessel.

“We’re here to support you,” it read.

Mike Baker contributed reporting.

Eduardo Medina is a Times reporter covering the South. An Alabama native, he is now based in Durham, N.C. More about Eduardo Medina

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

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The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

This major cruise line operator just announced its biggest ship order ever

One of the world’s leading cruise operators unveiled its biggest ship order ever on Monday.

Norwegian Cruise Line Holdings Ltd. will take delivery of eight ships between 2026 and 2036 across its three brands. 

Norwegian Cruise Line will welcome four ships in 2030, 2032, 2034 and 2036, each with a capacity of close to 5,000 guests. The additions are subject to financing.

The vessels will follow the line’s previously announced Prima-Plus class vessels.

The upscale Oceania Cruises will take delivery of two 1,450-guest ships in 2027 and 2029, and luxury line Regent Seven Seas Cruises will add two ships in 2026 and 2029, each accommodating 850 passengers.

"This strategic new-ship order across all three of our award-winning brands provides for the steady introduction of cutting-edge vessels into our fleet and solidifies our long-term growth,” Harry Sommer, the company’s president and CEO, said in a news release . “It also allows us to significantly leverage our operating scale, strengthen our commitment to innovation and enhance our ability to offer our guests new products and experiences, all while providing opportunities to enhance the efficiency of our fleet.”

Specifics about the ships’ accommodations and amenities will be announced “in the coming months,” according to the release.

The company will also add a new multi-ship pier at its private Bahamas island, Great Stirrup Cay, scheduled for completion by late 2025. The pier will be able to accommodate two large ships at once.

Nathan Diller is a consumer travel reporter for USA TODAY based in Nashville. You can reach him at [email protected].

Heavy traffic congestion alert as cruise ships arrive in Cape Town

City of cape town officials warn commuters to expect delays.

The City of Cape Town has warned there will be heavy traffic congestion over the next three days due to incoming cruise ships, including one of the world’s largest ocean liners.

“While traffic congestion is a headache at the best of times, it is important to keep in mind that events such as these are a sign of economic prosperity that ultimately enhance quality of life for all our residents,” the city said.

“We are going to try to manage the traffic congestion, but if you are heading into town ... please choose your route wisely to avoid being stuck in traffic,” cautioned safety and security MMC JP Smith.

“A lot of passengers will be boarding. It is also bringing a lot of tourists. But what we need the most, it also brings a lot of jobs,” he added.

The Queen Victoria is due to dock on Thursday morning and depart on Friday evening. Its sister ship the Queen Mary 2 is due on Friday morning and departs on Saturday evening. The scheduled times are dependent on the weather.

Traffic officials plan to use CCTV cameras “to pinpoint the location and extent of vehicle queues throughout the day and activate appropriate signal timing plans to best manage the queues,” said the city’s head of urban mobility Rob Quintas.

Cruise liner collides with cargo carrier in Cape Town harbour

“Operators will be in constant contact with Cape Town traffic services and operations personnel at the Victoria & Alfred Waterfront. Where appropriate, variable message signs of the Cape Town freeway management system will be used to alert motorists to areas of congestion on roadways.”

South African ports have seen a welcome increase in visiting ships due partly to security problems in the Red Sea that have forced some shipping companies to divert vessels around the Cape, rather than risk the shorter route through the Suez Canal.

The increase in marine traffic coincides with growth in the cruise sector, with 67 cruise ships counted in Cape Town so far this summer season — up from the average of 35-40 ships counted between 2016 and 2019.

“This is a sector of tourism that is deeply valuable for us, with research by Wesgro (travel and investment promotion agency) revealing that cruise tourism injected R1.2bn into the Western Cape economy between November 2022 and May 2023,” said the city’s head of economic growth James Vos.

“In addition, for every 30 arriving cruise passengers, the Western Cape cruise industry created one full-time job. This is worth bearing in mind when considering the thousands of passengers on board the Queen Mary 2 and Queen Victoria. The city will continue working closely with its partners to make Cape Town stand out on the global cruise travel map.”

Five things not to miss aboard the MSC Splendida

Blooming success for local business as ports welcome cruise liners, superyachts, local cruising gets an upgrade with msc splendida: here's what it's like on board.

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