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Motivational And Inspirational Blog

80 Take A Break Quotes To Inspire You To Relax And Unwind

• April 10, 2024
• Inspirational Quotes

Looking for quotes about needing a break? We have rounded up the best collection of take a break quotes, sayings, captions, status message (with images and pictures) which will inspire you to take a much needed break from work and refresh your energies.

Related: Pamper Yourself Quotes

In this fast-paced world, it is very important to work hard for survival and put all your efforts to reach your goals. But amidst all the stress and chaos you need to take some time off and clear your mind.

Also See: Stress Relief Quotes

This helps you to think better and perform better in your profession/business. Taking break helps you understand yourself better. These inspiring quotes will help you understand the importance of taking a break from work, relationship, family, etc to relax and unwind.

Take A Break Quotes

• “Rest and be thankful.” — William Wadsworth
• “Find what brings you joy and go there.” — Jan Phillips
• “You have enough. You do enough. You are enough. Relax” — Unknown

Taking a Break Quotes

• “Taking a break can lead to breakthroughs.” — Russell Eric Dobda
• “It’s okay to take breaks and have fun sometimes.” — Elite Founder
• “Take a break and give your soul what it needs.” — Audrey Kitching
• “Taking a break won’t be the death of your business.” —  Jess Van Den
• “Once a year, go somewhere you have never been before.” — Dalai Lama
• “Sometimes giving yourself a break is the very thing you need.” — Unknown
• “Learn to take breaks from everything and chill once in a while.” — Unknown
• “Give time to empty your mind. It will let you build new dreams.” — Unknown

Quotes About Taking A Break And Relax

• “All that is important comes in quietness and waiting.” — Patrick Lindsay
• “Try to pause each day and take a walk to view nature.” — Lailah Gifty Akita
• “Take a break from life once in a while your mind needs to unwind.” — Simran
• “Once in a while you need to take a break and visit yourself.” — Audrey Giorgi
• “Leisure isn’t always relaxation and it’s relaxation that counts.” —  Marty Rubin
• “A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” — Roald Dahl
• “A lot of people in a LA need to take a break from taking a break.” — Dov Davidoff
• “Reminder… It’s okay to stop and rest or take a break when you need one.” — Unknown
• “Taking time to do nothing often brings everything into perspective.” — Doe Zantamata
• “Live your life like a butterfly. Take a rest sometimes but never forget to fly.” — Unknown
• “When he worked, he really worked. But when he played, he really PLAYED.” — Dr. Seuss
• “Ultimate relaxation and daily renewal nourish your mind, body and spirit.” — Lisa Wagner
• “Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges. So relax.” —  Bryant McGill
• “Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” —  John De Paula
• “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” — Plato
• “Almost everything will work if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” — Anne Lamott
• “There is virtue in work and there is virtue in rest. Use both and overlook neither.” —  Alan Cohen
• “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain
• “Sometimes you gotta take a break from all the noise to appreciate the beauty of silence.” — Robert Tew
• “Take a break… Pause… Rest… Start walking! That very brief space is to let the intelligent guide.” —  Rekha
• “In this game, everyone needs a break to refuel, recharge, and jump back in full throttle.” — Helen Edwards
• “Sometimes, you just need to take a break. In a beautiful place, Alone, To figure everything out.” — Unknown
• “It’s a good idea always to do something relaxing prior to making an important decision in your life.” —   Paulo Coelho
• “Sometimes when we take a break, we may find that solutions then present themselves.” — Catherine Pulsifer
• “I don’t feel any need to play the role of the clown. In my private life I take a break from humor.” — Gad Elmaleh
• “Take a break and chill because this is the time of the year to rejoice, celebrate and also feel rewarded.” — Unknown
• “If you’re burnt out and struggling, you don’t need productivity. Nope. What you really need is a break.” — Unknown
• “For a minute, walk outside, stand there, in silence, look up at the sky, and contemplate how amazing life is.” — Unknown
• “Even when you take a holiday from technology, technology doesn’t take a break from you.” — Douglas Coupland
• “Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.” —  William S. Burroughs
• “Sometimes, you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who are and who you want to be.” — Unknown
• “Take vacations, go as many places as you can. You can always make money, you can’t always make memories.” — Unknown
• “The opportunity to step away from everything and take a break is something that shouldn’t be squandered.” — Harper Reed
• “It’s very refreshing to go away and take a break, to clear your head, and just get into something else.” — Francois Nars
• “Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.” — Hermann Hesse
• “Be still. Wisdom comes once we learn to become still… In the silence of the heart, one learns the journey of the wise.” — Unknown
• “Sometimes we just need a mental vacation. Take a 15-minute break and start planning your next vacation.” — Catherine Pulsifer
• “I think it’s important to try to be present with whatever it is you’re doing. And if you can’t be present, take a break.” —  Emily Giffin
• “Relax and enjoy life. Know that whatever you need to know is revealed to you in the perfect time and space sequence.” — Unknown
• “Sometimes you need to take a break from everyone and spend time alone to experience, appreciate, and love yourself.” —  Robert Tew
• “It does good also to take walks out of doors, that our spirits may be raised and refreshed by the open air and fresh breeze…” —  Seneca
• “You need to take a break away from your work area so when you return you are more refreshed and ready to work.” —  Byron Pulsifer
• “Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.” — Ralph Marston
• “The obsession was so real and so prolonged. Sleeping was kind of like taking breaks from continuing the obsession.” — Jimenez Lai
• “When things are not happening as planned just stop worrying and take an unplanned break to regain yourself.” — Giridhar Alwar
• “Sit, relax, breathe… There are 1440 minutes in one day, so taking 5 of those minutes to re-energise will not be the end of the world.” — Unknown
• “Is there a place you can go to break away for a little while? If you haven’t yet built your tree house, it’s never too late to start.” —  Gina Greenlee
• “One day a week I seek to rest from earthly toil and sorrow. Revitalised, I find the strength to battle new tomorrows.” — Richelle E. Goodrich
• “Do something nice for yourself today. Find some quiet, sit in stillness, breathe. Put your problems on pause. You deserve a break.” —  Akiroq Brost
• “I saw that my image was changing or fading. One of the reasons for taking a break from clubs was to be missed-not forgotten.” —  Sammy Davis, Jr.
• “Richard Branson advised that entrepreneurs should also take some time off from work and enjoy the company of their family or friends.” —  Norbert Richards
• “She believed, she could, but she was tired. So she rested and you know what? The world went on and it was ok. And knew she could try again tomorrow.” — Unknown
• “People who work under constant stress must take time off to be in complete silence and meditate even if it is for ten minutes during tea or lunch breaks.” — Dianne Kane
• “And the night shall be filled with music, And the cares, that infest the day, Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs, And as silently steal away.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
• “The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of room, not try to be or do anything whatever.” — May Sarton
• “Although it is important that we be productive citizens and put in time at work, maybe we need to respect the importance of leisure time and relaxation a little more.” — Sage Wilcox
• “Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well.” —  Louisa May Alcott
• “Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us to withdraw from cares which will not withdraw from us.” —   Maya Angelou
• “Now this relaxation of the mind from work consists on playful words and deeds. Therefore it becomes a wise and virtuous man to have recourse to such things at times.” —  Thomas Aquintas
• “Find some quiet, private time. Allow yourself to slow down and relax. Find nature, meditate and relax. Find nature, meditate, or to nothing. Take a mental break. You’ll gain the benefits of a quiet mind.” — Tom Giaquinto
• “Let’s loosen up some time and take a break to re-calibrate our life. We need no endless over-thinking, though. Let’s just connect the dots, set the scene, and steam ahead. (“On a casual day without a tie”).” — Erik Pevernagie
• “It is a good thing for everyone who can possibly do so to get away at least once a year for a change of scene. I do not want to get into the position of not being able to see the forest because of the thickness of the trees.” — Franklin Roosevelt
• “I’ve found that sometimes it is best to take a break by going for a walk, or take a coffee break. This break can help clear your mind and calm your anxiety. It is a time to let your mind go to zero by not thinking of the issue at hand.” —  Byron Pulsifer
• “Sometimes it’s important to work for that pot of gold. But other times it’s essential to take time off and to make sure that your most important decision in the day simply consists of choosing which color to slide down on the rainbow.” — Douglas Pagels
• “Research shows that we need to take a break and decompress so we can be at our best at work—and at home. Maybe we should ask if the life we’re working so hard to create is fun to live? When’s the last time you disconnected and took a vacation?” —  Tina Hallis

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Breaks for breakthroughs: The importance of taking breaks during the workday

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Breaks and work performance: two sides of the same coin

When should you take a break, a different break for every need, don’t lose self-control, see breaks as part of your workday, taking longer breaks to prevent decision fatigue, work hard, rest hard.

Have you taken a break today? Anything counts, even if it was your lunch break. As long as it gave you some downtime away from work , we’re happy. 

The importance of taking breaks stretc hes far and wide. Breaks help your productivity , energy levels, and ability to focus — not to mention your mental health and well-being.

But perhaps you struggle to take breaks. We know it’s not as simple as it sounds. You might think you’re shrugging off your work or being lazy, but you’re wrong. When you learn how valuable it is to give yourself a break while still in control, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start taking breaks sooner. 

It’s not a question of if we should take breaks. It’s a question of when and for how long . A break is a time for yourself. It’s when you have the chance to stand up and stretch, grab some food, or search for stress relief . Taking a break from work is a necessity for your productivity and focus.

The idea that we need to remain focused on one single task for as long as possible has been debunked by many studies. In fact, researchers have found that when our brains get used to something, performance and productivity begin to plummet . 

They also found that paying attention to single tasks for too long is harmful to performance — but taking short breaks ultimately helps us stay focused for longer. That’s why brain breaks are important: they allow us to regroup and gather our attention, rather than continue fighting for concentration — which just makes us unproductive in the end.

Some researchers have also found that lengthy breaks are counterintuitive because workers grow bored and fatigued more easily . T he amount of time we rest for matters. We need to ensure that we’re taking breaks that boost our energy levels. We also need to find the right time to take those breaks.

There are no set rules for taking breaks. However, it’s great if we take a break in the morning, afternoon, or evening — or better yet, during all those times. Taking breaks throughout our workday is necessary since we can’t focus intently for eight hours straight. We need to stretch, eat, and look at something other than our screens.

T he statistics on taking breaks at work are alarming. One survey by Tork explored how people feel about taking a break from work and how often they do it. Here’s what they found:

• 22% of workers feel judged when they take a break from work in the middle of the day
• 39% of workers only occasionally, rarely, or never take a break
• 94% of employees who take breaks feel like their breaks refreshed their perspective on work
• Over 9 in 10 employees were more likely to stay at a job if their managers encouraged people to take breaks

Even though taking breaks is beneficial, we mentioned that sometimes, we should avoid breaks. We shouldn’t take breaks if we’re in what’s known as a flow state , where we’re effortlessly focusing and enjoying our tasks. That’s when our productivity is at its highest, so we don’t want to interrupt it.

That said, here are a few signs that you should take a break:

• You feel Zoom fatigue setting in
• You’re working too much on one single task
• You’re hungry and need a healthy snack break
• You’re feeling frustrated and need to clear your mind
• You find it hard to concentrate on anything

BetterUp can provide the guidance you need to acknowledge when your body needs a break, and how you can make the most of your downtime. 

Breaks fulfill a variety of needs. Sometimes they fill our stomachs, lower our stress levels, and give us a change of scenery away from our workspace. And we can’t forget the importance of taking a break from social media. At the end of the day, we should value any reason to take a break. We’ll be grateful for all the benefits these breaks provide.

But perhaps you’re overwhelmed by the different types of breaks you can take. The right kind of break can have an impact on how beneficial it is. 

However, knowing what kind of break to take is challenging, so we’ll provide some suggestions. We also suggest incorporating the Pomodoro technique while taking breaks to help with time management . 

Here are a few different types of breaks to try:

• Nature break: Step outside and feel the fresh air. It’s nice to move away from our workspace and look at new things. That way, our focus recharges for when we return to work. Walking will get your blood pumping, but even sitting outside will help change things up.
• Social media break: Being mindful of your social media intake helps your mental health . It can also help you be more present. Setting limits on how much time you spend on certain apps is a way of enforcing your breaks.
• Power nap break: Napping isn’t for everyone, but some love it. Power naps boost our energy levels and help with difficulty concentrating .
• Dance break: Turn on your favorite song and groove for a bit. Dancing is a physical activity that’ll increase your heart rate and give you time to stretch if your job forces you to stay seated.
• Creative breaks: If your job doesn’t allow you to express your creativity , breaks can. You can do this by drawing, painting, journaling, or whatever form of creative expression you enjoy.
• Daydreaming breaks: Daydreaming while you work isn’t always a good idea, but doing it over a break is super beneficial. It allows your mind to wander, dream, and can even spark new ideas.
• Mindfulness meditation breaks: Mindfulness activities like taking deep breaths or tuning into your emotions can relax you. It helps you find stress relief and slow down your otherwise chaotic days.
• Food breaks: Everyone needs food to fuel their concentration and focus levels. So please, let’s take our lunch breaks. Taking a healthy snack break between bigger meals can even make a difference.

So you’ve decided to take a break and do some daydreaming. You’re feeling quite relaxed during your downtime. That only lasts, however, until you realize you’ve been daydreaming for the past 45 minutes. Now you have to work twice as hard to get something done by the end of the day because you lost track of time. 

You don’t want to break like this. Your focus won’t be recharged — it will be taken away. Plus, it’s a form of procrastination . You aren’t being mindful of the important tasks at hand or truly resting.

Simple activities like watching a funny video or chatting with your neighbor can turn into hours of distraction. These things may seem light-hearted, but they diminish your productivity. Luckily, you can arm yourself with some tools to help you stay in control.

Here are a few ways to keep your breaks on track: 

• Use a timer when you take your breaks. Timers help you be exact with your break time and remind you when they’re over
• Use either a virtual or physical calendar to schedule regular breaks and stay on a set timeline
• Post-its or other notes around your work environment also remind you to take your breaks and when to finish them
• Doing a concentration exercise as a break and resuming work when finished

Some tools may work better for you than others, so try several until you find what works for you. Whatever tool you choose, make sure that you stick to it and hold yourself accountable.

The more you adjust to the idea that breaks should be a regular part of your day, the better. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Sometimes our days are super busy with time-sensitive work, and we feel like we can’t justify a pause. We should still make breaks a priority.

One study found that micro-breaks still have positive impacts on employee work performance . Micro breaks are things like standing up to stretch, filling a water bottle, or petting your cat. The researchers found that employees who took micro-breaks had higher work engagement, higher quality of work, and a more positive attitude toward work. 

Micro-breaks help our work performance, which shows that taking breaks increases our overall productivity. Even the smallest of b reaks are healthy to include in your workday. 

Even though micro-breaks have excellent benefits, sometimes we need longer breaks. We can’t forget about vacations and staycations , for example. They help us unwind and recharge our minds. 

Long breaks can also help us disconnect from work and technology. They encourage us to unplug and be more present. Think of them as opportunities to explore nature, try new things, or just kick our feet up and relax.

Long breaks help prevent decision fatigue, too. When we experience decision fatigue, our brains are sapped of creative ideas, we struggle to focus, and we can’t make deci sions as easily as we usually do. Luckily, longer breaks have been found to help us recover from work-related strains and improve our well-being . They give our minds a rest from the stressors of work and daily life. 

If our decision-making abilities aren't what they usually are, we must put in the effort to improve our situation. Knowing when our brains need a longer break is an essential part of self-care.

We love to work hard. Seeing all that our hard work brings us is rewarding, but so is learni ng the importance of taking breaks. 

Learning how to take a break while still having self-control helps us take care of our mental health and well-being. It shows us that we can work hard and value rest simultaneously. It’s a form of self-care because we choose to improve our physical and mental health rather than let our work harm it. 

We’re also demonstrating that we value our work-life balance when taking a break. By stopping to take breaks, we’re showing ourselves that there’s more to our lives than only working . And that’s pretty special.

Find support from someone outside of your work team.  BetterUp can provide the guidance and accountability you need to take more breaks. We’ll help you devise a plan that allows you to take scheduled breaks and learn how to recognize when you need a longer one.

Enhance your health and wellness

Create a plan for a healthier life with personalized guidance from our wellness coaches.

Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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How to Take a Break from Work (and Why You Need To)

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

ULTRA F / Getty Images

Risks of Not Taking Breaks

• Signs You Need a Break

Tips for Taking a Break From Work

Frequently asked questions.

Taking a break from work is essential, and yet many people leave their vacation time unused. Whether you plan a vacation, a staycation, or a playcation, it's essential to take a break from your job, your routine, and the demands of life to keep stress levels in check.

When you take a break, you're not shirking responsibility. You're taking care of yourself so you'll have the stamina to be your best. By learning the signs that you need a break, you'll know when to schedule some time away to help you feel refreshed and restored.

At a Glance

Taking a break from work is vital if you want to manage stress and avoid burnout. Signs that you might need to take a break include feeling cynical, exhausted, or withdrawn. By taking a break, whether its a vacation or just a short break during the day, you can come back to your work with a fresher, more rested mind.

The body is designed to respond to short bursts of stress. When stress is prolonged and the stress response is triggered repeatedly and regularly—as can happen in a stressful job or a conflict-ridden relationship —the situation turns into one of chronic stress, and real health problems can set in.

Chronic stress may make you more susceptible to conditions ranging from frequent headaches and gastrointestinal issues to high blood pressure, which brings an increased risk of heart disease and stroke.

When your allostatic load , or overall level of stress, accumulates to a certain level, stress can snowball because you're constantly in a state of reactivity.

At this point, even positive events can feel overwhelming if they take energy to enjoy. You're not able to respond from a place of strength and wisdom, but rather from a place of anxiety, or you work on auto-pilot.

If you don't take a break, you may experience burnout . It can leave you exhausted, unproductive, and even depressed.

Extended periods of stress can take a toll on your physical and mental well-being. Taking a break gives your brain and body a chance to reset, restore, and cope with the stresses of daily life.

Signs You Need to Take a Break

Sometimes, it's obvious that you need a vacation. In other cases, stress can sneak up on you. You may not necessarily recognize when you're at risk of being overwhelmed and burned out.

Everyone responds to stress in unique ways. That means that the signs of being overwhelmed are also highly individual. However, there are some general warning signs that apply in most cases.

If you're experiencing one or more of the following, start planning some downtime. This might mean a real vacation or even just a weekend staycation to recharge your batteries.

Key signs you need a break include:

• Changes in eating habits
• Cynicism about work
• Difficulty concentrating
• Getting sick more frequently
• Lack of energy
• Lack of motivation
• Frustration
• Feeling unfocused or fuzzy-headed
• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches
• Poor performance at work
• Sleep disturbances
• Using drugs or alcohol to cope with stress
• Withdrawing from friends, family, or co-workers

Don't Wait Until You're Burned Out

Don't wait until you've reached the point of exhaustion to step back and take a break. Unless you already feel energized, motivated, excited, creative, and fully engaged at work and in your relationships, you'd likely benefit from a vacation, because it's a good idea to manage stress before it feels overwhelming.

Vacations, mental health days, and regular self-care can keep you functioning at your best.

"I think of these breaks as preventative care," says Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS , a licensed psychologist specializing in health and wellness. "We need to participate in them on a regular basis in order to be able to manage our stress and prevent burnout . The key is to prevent ourselves from getting to the point that we absolutely need the break."

When to See a Doctor or Therapist

It's important to note that many of these signs may also be symptoms of a mental health condition such as depression or anxiety . Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if these symptoms persist even after you take a break.

Benefits of Taking a Break From Work

Vacations and even shorter breaks (like an afternoon off) where you get some physical and psychological space from the demands of life can bring many rewards. Some of the benefits you may enjoy when you take a break include:

• Reduced stress : Obviously, you feel less stress when you're not in a stressful environment. But breaks bring more than that. They interrupt the cycle of stress that can lead to being overwhelmed.
• Rest : By breaking out of the cycle of chronic stress, you can restore yourself physically and mentally to a healthier place.
• Clearer thinking : A chronically triggered stress response can lead to decreased creativity, memory problems , and other issues. So a break in the stress cycle can lead to sharper thinking and increased creativity in all areas of your life.
• Increased productivity : All of this can make you better at your job, more available in your relationships, more energetic with your family, and more able to enjoy life after you return.

Taking a break not only gives you a chance to rest, it can also promote clearer thinking and greater productivity.

If you need a break, there are several different options for getting one. You can go for a long and luxurious break, a relaxing and simple one, or something short and sweet. You can even have minutes-long breaks that you take throughout the day to boost productivity and to keep from feeling overwhelmed.

A vacation is a real break, in the classic sense of the word, and taking a vacation is more important than many people realize. That's why many vacation days go unused when they should be enjoyed to the fullest.

The key to a restful vacation is to prioritize rest and fun when you go; don't overbook yourself with tourist activities or bring so much work with you that by the time you return, you feel you need a vacation from your vacation.

Many people feel taking a break adds too much work in preparing to be away and then making up for the missed time. While it may take some effort, the health and well-being benefits you'll gain more than make up for those costs. 

The staycation is becoming more and more popular, especially as people have a greater need to take a break, but with fewer means to pull off a longer trip. The staycation is all about rest and relaxation, and enjoying home sweet home—a place you are often too stressed and busy to really enjoy.

The key to a refreshing staycation is the same as the key to a restful vacation, though it can be somewhat trickier to pull off: Don't overdo it, and don't let work creep in.

That means no cleaning, office work, or dealing with regular responsibilities. You can either turn off the phones, ignore email, and make it a point to rest and play at home, or go to a nearby hotel to make it easier.

Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS

It's important to still put your 'out of office' up on your email and try to resist checking your email regularly.

"You can still check your email occasionally, as this sometimes helps decrease stress and anxiety while 'on vacation,' but just because you are home on a staycation, does not mean you are supposed to work," says Dr. Goldman.

Few people talk about having a playcation, but it's a great idea: Stay home, but make it fun! The difference between a staycation and a playcation is that staycations tend to focus more on resting and relaxing, while playcations are for—you guessed it—fun!

With the hard work and stressful routines that characterize many people's lifestyles, it's important to have some fun as a way to recharge your batteries and be sure you're enjoying life. You can devote several days to taking a playcation, or just be sure you pepper in some fun on a regular basis.

Short Breaks

Sometimes you just need to take a break from stress long enough to disrupt the body's stress response cycle, and then get back into action. If you just need a quick break, take a hike or a bike ride, enjoy a movie, or even have a five-minute meditation session.

Spending time outdoors and physical activity can also be great stress relievers. Incorporating these into your short break, such as going for a walk outside around the block, can help you get more bang for your buck from your short break.

Vacations can be a great way to take a break, but you don't need to leave town to unwind. Staycations and playcations are great (and often more affordable) options, but even brief intervals where you turn your mind and attention to more restful activities can be beneficial. 

What This Means For You

Everyone needs a break from time to time to relieve stress. Even if you can't take a big vacation, a staycation or short break can be a valuable way to feel restored and refreshed. It is also essential to take short breaks periodically throughout the day to recharge your attention and productivity.

There are many factors that impact sustained attention, but research suggests that the average duration that a person is able to stay focused on a single task without experiencing declines in attention or productivity is around 30 to 45 minutes.

A 2014 study performed by the productivity tracking company DeskTime found that the most productive people work for 52 minutes and then take a 17-minute break. When the study was repeated seven years later, the most productive people were working for 112 minutes before taking a break, an increase attributed to changes in work life due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

A good rule is that a short break every hour or so can help you stay productive throughout the work day.

Taking a break when you are feeling depressed is often challenging because many of the things that used to bring you pleasure no longer create the same joy. One way to handle this is to spend your break periods engaging in self-care activities. Exercise, deep breathing, and meditation may be helpful for managing symptoms of depression.

Spending 10 to 15 minutes on something like listening to music, writing in a gratitude journal, or enjoying a cup of your favorite tea are also great ways to take a break and practice self-care when you are feeling depressed.

A break should be a true break from work—which means no checking emails or other work-related duties while you are on break. Finding a way to refresh your mind and body can help you return to your tasks with a clear mind, so getting up to stretch or going for a walk outside can be helpful. So can stopping to chat with co-workers. Research has found that workers who socialize at work are happier and healthier.

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Workers’ access to and use of leave from their jobs in 2017–18 .

Mariotti A. The effects of chronic stress on health: New insights into the molecular mechanisms of brain-body communication . Future Sci OA . 2015;1(3):FSO23. doi:10.4155/fso.15.21

Maslach C, Leiter MP.  Understanding the burnout experience: recent research and its implications for psychiatry.   World Psychiatry . 2016;15(2):103–111. doi:10.1002/wps.20311

National Institute of Mental Health. 5 things you should know about stress .

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Private industry workers received average of 15 paid vacation days after 5 years of service in 2017 .

The Washington Post. What does America have against vacation ?

Fortenbaugh FC, DeGutis J, Germine L, et al. Sustained attention across the life span in a sample of 10,000: Dissociating ability and strategy .  Psychol Sci . 2015;26(9):1497-1510. doi:10.1177/0956797615594896

Gifford J. 52/17 updated - people are now working and breaking longer than ever before . DeskTime.

Mastroianni K, Storberg-Walker J. Do work relationships matter? Characteristics of workplace interactions that enhance or detract from employee perceptions of well-being and health behaviors .  Health Psychol Behav Med . 2014;2(1):798-819. doi:10.1080/21642850.2014.933343

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

How to Take a Better Break

With work intruding on home life more than ever, people are struggling to find respite. as research discovers more proof of the benefits of proper breaks, it’s also pointing to new and better ways to make time for yourself at home, at work, or at school..

By Psychology Today Contributors published January 4, 2022 - last reviewed on January 18, 2022

The pandemic has radically changed almost everything about work—where we do it, when we do it, even what the “workday” means. One thing hasn’t changed, though—the need to take a break from it.

The National Bureau of Economic Research reports that Americans are working, on average, 48 minutes more per day now than they did before the pandemic. But there’s no evidence that they are taking any more breaks.

There’s been a lot of debate about what’s driving “The Great Resignation”—the record rate of employees walking away from their jobs—but many experts cite the underacknowledged role of burnout: Recent surveys of workers find that half feel burned out and two-thirds believe their feelings of burnout have worsened. Such workers are less efficient, even if they spend more time at their desks, but a culture that historically has made people feel guilty for taking any time off remains a deterrent.

Respite shouldn’t be so hard to find: Some experts embrace methods such as the Pomodoro technique, named after the tomato-shape timer its creator used to stay focused on a task for 25 consecutive minutes—and no more. Work stops when the buzzer goes off, and an equally focused short break follows.

A midday break for reading, painting, listening to a podcast, or completing a puzzle can be similarly restorative, especially if we can avoid thinking of such acts as “unproductive.” Research shows that a half hour engaged with a compelling story, a practice known as “narrative transport,” increases positive emotions and decreases pain. Creative activity, time spent looking at nature, and short bursts of physical activity or exercise can all be mentally regenerative as well.

The need for breaks is not limited to the career -building years. Teens whose time in high school was upended by the pandemic are exploring gap years in unprecedented numbers. But whatever one’s situation, the first step toward embracing breaks of any length is allowing oneself to commit to them wholeheartedly.

A Break Is Never a Waste of Time

If we feel guilty indulging in leisure, then it won’t help us.

By Lynn Zubernis, Ph.D.

Since so many jobs have shifted into the home, finding an escape from work may be more vital now than ever. Unfortunately, while many people find some real benefits in working from home, they also report feeling increased pressure to be busy and purposeful at their makeshift workstations, leading them to feel selfish or guilty when they pursue even a few moments of leisure. New research, though, finds that devaluing leisure time can be detrimental for us, our work, and our relationships.

In a recent analysis of four studies with over 1,300 participants in four different countries, a team led by Gabriela Tonietto of the University of Rutgers Business School found that people who felt that leisure activities were a waste of time had higher levels of depression , anxiety , and stress than those who placed a higher value on those pursuits. Even when people who believed such activities are wasteful allowed themselves some leisure time, they were less able to enjoy themselves—and so, less able to experience the benefits. Believing that leisure is unproductive undermined their enjoyment of whatever activity they pursued but especially if the activity was undertaken as an end in itself without any specific instrumental goal.

The Benefits of Leisure

Far from wastes of time, leisure and recreational activities have been found to deliver significant benefits. Taking time to nurture the self, whether it’s enjoying a candlelit bath, taking a brisk walk in the park, or watching a favorite TV show, helps us manage pressure, provides a sense of balance, and bolsters self-esteem . The physical and psychological benefits include reduced levels of stress, anxiety, and depression; improved mood; and higher levels of positive emotion . Engaging in recreational activities can also lower cortisol levels, blood pressure, and heart rate.

Psychologists have long recognized the link between leisure and well-being. Albert Bandura believed that leisure experiences were essential for healthy social development, and Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs included leisure as a core component of self-actualization. Pursuing an activity that is not considered traditionally productive but is instead “just for me” can provide someone a sense of control and choice they may not feel in other aspects of their life.

Living through a pandemic reduced people’s sense of control, research has found, leading to greater feelings of helplessness and depression. Engaging in a leisure activity just for the pleasure of it can be a powerful antidote, as research finds that people who engage in such activities report greater satisfaction with their lives overall.

With more people working from home and online, there is ever-increasing pressure to be constantly productive, but working without true breaks actually tends to reduce productivity ; taking some leisure time can lead to renewed energy and cognitive efficiency, as well as a more positive mood when work resumes.

Fandom as “Serious Leisure”

One underappreciated aspect of leisure is the range of activities that fall under the umbrella of fandom. Fans who participate in creating fiction or art about favorite films, TV series, books, bands, sports teams, or other cultural touchstones, or who travel to conventions, concerts, competitions, or games, engage in what’s known as “serious leisure.” This concept is based on the idea of involvement, a psychological trait defined as a state of motivation , arousal, or interest toward a recreational activity or associated product. The level of involvement takes into account the pleasure a person derives from the activity, how often they engage in it and for how long, and how important it is to them.

Fans, like others, can struggle with feelings of guilt about devoting time and energy to something not widely seen as productive, but those who can look past those concerns and let themselves fully engage in their activities should reap such benefits as self-expression, a sense of belonging, and the experience of joy.

Any type of leisure activity can have a positive impact on your quality of life. However you use that time, try not to let feelings of guilt interfere with the joy those experiences can bring. Far from being a waste of time, these moments can bring us relief when we need it most.

Lynn Zubernis, Ph.D., is a professor at West Chester University in Pennsylvania and the author of There’ll Be Peace When You Are Done.

Research suggests there are good and not-so-good ways to seek respite.

By Nir Eyal and Chelsea Robertson, Ph.D.

Until recently, when I needed a break, I’d grab my phone. Whether I was bored, mentally fatigued, or just wanting a pick-me-up, I found relief by checking the news, Facebook, or Instagram . However, research suggests I could’ve done better: While some breaks can leave us refreshed and reenergized, others (like mine) are more likely to make us feel depleted and drained.

In their book, The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World , neuroscientist Adam Gazzaley and psychologist Larry Rosen explain that the right breaks can reduce mental fatigue, boost brain function, and help us stay on task for longer periods. But the wrong sort of break can actually leave us more susceptible to boredom —and then backfire by making us want to take breaks more often. Specifically, turning to a phone whenever we’re bored can train us to check it more often throughout the day, driving a cycle of unproductivity. It would be better, they suggest, to take breaks that restore the part of the brain we use to keep focused on our goals.

Located behind the forehead, the prefrontal cortex has many functions, but its main business is goal management —orchestrating attention , working memory , and other cognitive resources in order to help us get what we want. For example, if my goal is to cook dinner, my prefrontal cortex will help coordinate my brain functions to guide me through the necessary steps while making sure I don’t get sidetracked.

When we work, the prefrontal cortex makes every effort to help us execute our goals. But for a challenging task that requires sustained attention, research shows, briefly taking our minds off the goal can renew and strengthen motivation later on. Breaking for activities that rely on brain regions other than the prefrontal cortex is the best way to renew focus throughout the work day.

The rapid rewards we get from skimming our newsfeeds, Gazzaley and Rosen explain, alleviate boredom for a few moments, but also train our brains to seek out similarly stimulating blips of joy every time we feel a twinge of fatigue, so “the next time we are bored, our past experiences, having gained reinforcement from our smartphone, will drive us to self-interrupt.”

Fortunately, there are better ways to take restorative breaks and return refreshed to your essential tasks:

1. Seek Nature. Research shows that nature exposure is restorative for the mind. One study reported better working memory scores after a walk in a natural environment, but not in an urban setting. “Natural environments capture our attention in a bottom-up fashion,” Gazzaley and Rosen write, “because natural stimuli are so inherently compelling to us (presumably owing to evolutionary factors). They draw us in but generate minimal [prefrontal cortex] responses.” Even if you work in a city, just noticing the sights and sounds of natural features around you—plants, fresh air, a fish tank, or a fountain—can help you recharge. Sit down, take a deep breath, and notice as many details as possible. If you are stuck indoors, research shows that just looking at some photos of nature can help, too.

2. Daydream or Doodle. Moments with nothing to do are increasingly rare, and too many of us dodge even the briefest hints of boredom with phone swipes. Avoiding those idle moments, though, can have unintended negative effects, denying ourselves time for deep thought or reflection or, as Gazzaley and Rosen put it, “letting our random thoughts drive us places we might not have gone while immersed in directed thinking.” Daydreaming and doodling, on the other hand, give some prefrontal cortex functions a rest. Try sitting alone, with your alarm set for 10 minutes, taking deep breaths, and being patient with yourself. You can practice with shorter durations by letting your mind drift while you wait at a crosswalk, a train station, or an elevator lobby.

3. Exercise Your Eyes. Our eyes bear the burden of our tech-charged lives, so try “20-20-20” eye breaks to alleviate their strain and fatigue. Here’s how it works: Every 20 minutes, stare at something 20 feet away for 20 seconds. This type of break is restorative, Gazzaley and Rosen explain, because it “requires blood flow to brain areas that are not related to sustained attention.”

4. Laugh. Laughter increases heart rate and respiration and gets our blood pumping. While the long-term benefits of laughter remain a matter of debate, research on short-term effects finds that bouts of giggling reduce cortisol and increase dopamine , lessening stress and, for older adults, fostering improvements on memory tests. Take a break for a comedy podcast or a standup’s stream or keep a funny book at the office to help you get through your afternoon slump and still meet your deadlines.

5. Exercise. We all know by now that regular extended exercise benefits the body and the brain, but research shows that even seven- to 10-minute bursts of activity can boost attention and memory performance. So find a secluded space for a brief workout, maybe of push-ups and planking, or just climb some stairs or take a brisk walk around the block.

Nir Eyal is the author of Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. Chelsea Robertson, Ph.D., is a product scientist at 23andMe.

Too Much Free Time Can Be as Much of a Problem as Too Little

Finding your Goldilocks zone.

By Christopher Bergland

“I’ve got nothing to do and all day to do it. I’d go out cruising, but I’ve no place to go and all night to get there. Is it any wonder I’m not a criminal? Is it any wonder I’m not in jail? Is it any wonder I’ve got too much time on my hands?” —“Too Much Time on My Hands” by Styx (1981)

Asked to imagine a Utopian world, many of us might fantasize about a hedonic existence with endless amounts of free time to do whatever we felt like, every hour of every day. When our daily grind involves being constantly overscheduled and overworked, it’s easy to imagine that the opposite—having nothing on the calendar and infinite discretionary time—would fill us with eudaimonia and lead to higher levels of subjective well-being. But new research suggests that we should be careful what we wish for.

The study, by a trio of researchers from the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School of Business and UCLA’s Anderson School of Management, found that too much free time is almost as detrimental to our subjective well-being as too little. The researchers—Marissa Sharif, Cassie Mogilner, and Hal Hershfield—found that there’s a “Goldilocks zone” of discretionary time that appears to be just right: about three and a half hours per day. In their research, both very low amounts of discretionary time (less than 30 minutes) and very high amounts (more than seven hours) were associated with lower subjective well-being scores. Entire days of blank schedules and empty to-do lists, the team concluded, may actually leave people feeling unhappy. They encourage us instead to try to arrange moderate amounts of free time.

Productivity and Purpose

The team’s analysis of data from the American Time Use Survey, conducted between 2012 and 2013, found that, for the 21,736 American respondents who gave a detailed account of what they’d done in the previous 24 hours, more free time was associated with higher subjective well-being up to about two hours, but started to decline if people had more than five hours of daily free time on their hands.

To pinpoint how much productive vs. unproductive discretionary time was truly just right, the researchers conducted two online experiments. In the first, they asked 2,550 participants to imagine having various amounts of discretionary time at their disposal every day for six months: low (15 minutes per day), moderate (three and a half hours per day), or high (seven hours per day). The participants were randomly assigned different imaginary free-time allotments and asked to mentally simulate to what extent they’d envision feeling happiness , satisfaction, and enjoyment. Notably, participants in the high and low discretionary time groups imagined that they’d feel worse than people in the moderate (three-and-a-half hours) time group.

In the second online study, the researchers asked 5,001 participants to imagine having different amounts of free time each day after being given a definition of discretionary time as “time spent on activities that are pleasurable or meaningful to you.” The researchers aimed to prompt participants to imagine and describe what it would be like to have a given amount of free time—what they would do each day, and how they’d feel about it. Their survey showed that when people were engaged in activities that felt unproductive, too much discretionary time was linked to lower levels of subjective well-being, but when they were engaged in productive activities that increased their sense of purpose, even abundant free time had less of a negative impact on their subjective well-being scores.

“In cases when people do find themselves with excessive amounts of discretionary time, such as retirement or having left a job,” Sharif wrote, “our results suggest these individuals would benefit from spending their newfound time with purpose.”

Christopher Bergland is a retired ultra-endurance athlete turned science writer and public health advocate.

4 Reasons to Consider a Gap Year

Families should talk about four factors when deciding whether their teens should take a break before college.

By Marcia Morris, M.D.

“Do you want to take a gap year?” is a question I never asked my children when they were applying to college. But today I recommend that all families consider the option as they contemplate life after high school.

Taking time off before starting college is not a new phenomenon, of course. Some countries have long encouraged or required a year or two of national service after high school. When my father had a difficult time as a 17-year-old college freshman, he left school to join the Navy for two years, gaining life skills that allowed him to flourish when he returned to campus. “Some elite colleges have long encouraged gap years in the same breath as offering admission,” college admissions counselor Joni Burstein reports. “They recognize that a break filled with purposeful activity can do a child good and make for a more focused and refreshed freshman.”

Today, gap years may be more widely accepted and encouraged by schools than they have been in decades, and counselors like Burstein say the gap-year question is being raised by more parents, and earlier in the college search process, than ever before. In recent years, 2 to 3 percent of graduating high school seniors in the U.S. typically took a year off before college—to work, perform public service, travel, or learn a new language. That compared with 15 percent of Australian students and over 50 percent of those in countries like Norway, Denmark, and Turkey.

The number of kids taking a gap year soared for the high school class of 2020 as campuses across the country shut their dormitories during the peak of the pandemic and kids opted out rather than take college classes in their childhood bedrooms. At some top universities, as many as 20 percent of incoming first-year students stayed away. It remains to be seen if the numbers will remain close to those levels in the years ahead, but even before the pandemic, an increasing number of schools had taken steps to make deferrals easier; some major universities now offer scholarships to make gap years available to students of more diverse backgrounds.

I recommend that parents consider four factors when deciding if a gap year would be a net gain for their child’s future success and, equally important, his or her mental health and wellness:

1. Academic. Is your child somewhat underachieving and unmotivated? Or are they a high achiever who is feeling burned out? Young people in both groups may benefit from a gap year. Feeling a need for personal growth and maturity and recovering from burnout are among the top reasons students seek a gap year, according to surveys by the Gap Year Association, and other research suggests that a gap year can lead to improved college performance and a higher GPA, especially for previously underachieving students.

2. Financial. For some, a year off is necessary to work and save money for college. Having savings on hand to meet expenses is strongly linked to one’s ability to finish college; among those who drop out, two of the most-cited reasons are being unable to afford school tuition and the need to work full time.

3. Social. Gap years can promote social growth and development and ease the adjustment to college life, if approached properly. According to one recent survey of students who took a year off, 81 percent said they would recommend it, citing benefits like being in a new environment and building new connections with peers.

4. Emotional. Positive mental health benefits of a gap year include increases in sense of purpose, resiliency, perspective, and motivation. If a child is dealing with mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or ADHD , a gap year could be particularly beneficial. Assess your child’s ability to cope with stress and challenges. If there are valid questions about their ability to manage the pressures of the college years, sit down with them and their guidance counselor or mental health provider to evaluate their readiness. A year of additional therapy , focused on coping skills, while a child works or volunteers in the community and gains greater levels of independence, can be beneficial.

“Why should we live with such hurry?” Henry David Thoreau asked. It’s a question well worth asking today. A gap year may help students grow socially and emotionally, gain maturity, or get a stronger academic footing so they can achieve greater success in the college years and beyond.

Marcia Morris, M.D., a psychiatrist at the University of Florida, is the author of The Campus Cure: A Parent’s Guide to Mental Health and Wellness for College Students.

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100 Creative Ways to Take a Break

Some of us don’t need to be told to take a break, because the act of not working is second nature. I would venture that being productive , in fact, is the break from our natural inclinations, though this idea hasn’t quite caught on yet.

Others, however, do need to be told – and in a hundred different ways. Here they are: the short and  long, bizarre and bleeding obvious, mindless and actually a bit challenging. All in a snazzy list – how wonderful.

• Siesta time : Though popularly associated with Spanish-speaking countries, the midday kip is traditional to many hot climate cultures and serves as a natural coping mechanism to the most strenuous part of the day. There’s no reason however, why we shouldn’t adopt it over here – not only is it the perfect antidote to work-related stress, but is widely acknowledged to have rejuvenating qualities. [i]
• Immerse yourself in nature : Not everyone has a garden, or immediate access to acres of sprawling woodland, but it’s always worth seeking out the green spaces near you – whether they are a walk, cycle, or bus ride away. The health benefits are numerous, with nature’s stress, anxiety and depression relieving qualities commonly cited [ii] , not to mention the opportunity for exercise and a bit of wildlife spotting.
• Stretch ! An effortless and easy way to incorporate break is the humble stretch. While good posture will save you a lot of grief in the long run, it’s also important to shake some life back into those dormant muscles from time to time. Reach to the sky! Touch your toes! Roll back your shoulders! Just get off your bum.
• Snack! (healthily): Breaks are associated with habitual behaviours, with snacking among the most instinctive. While eating between meals has gotten a bad rep, it can be essential to maintaining energy levels over the course of a demanding day. The trick is to substitute high sugar and fat foods with healthier, more filling alternatives such as fruit with natural sugars, filling the void whilst still providing a nice little reward.
• Pop on the tunes: Possibly the greatest pick-me-up that isn’t food. Whether it’s K-pop or grindcore, you owe it to yourself to throw on the bangers.
• Breathe: Most doctors would advise you do this already. If you forget though, it goes like this: inhale… two…three… four… and exhale … two… three… four . If you did it that way you should actually be a wee bit calmer.
• Move really slowly: This one is a bit less conventional, but no less valid. Used in practice by renowned performance artist Marina Abramovi ć , this exercise can be carried out anywhere with enough walking space and simply involves travelling from A to B as slowly as possible. A surprising – although initially patience-testing – way to become more aware of your body and surroundings.
• Care for a creature: If you have the space, time, energy and resources for adopting an animal, then it is absolutely worth considering. Dogs can be a bit of a fuss, though, so there’s no shame in going for something a bit more low-maintenance, like a tortoise (they sleep though a good part of the year) or tank of stick insects.
• Sports: From ping-pong to mud-wrestling to cheese-rolling, the word ‘sport’ encompasses such an extreme diversity of activities that you really are spoilt for choice. My personal favourite is chess-boxing, a game truly for the body and mind.
• Put down your thoughts to paper: We all have many thoughts that we don’t really know what to do with, and there’s no better place for them than the page.
• Learn an instrument: This possibly won’t feel like a break at first, but don’t be discouraged – the little victories will make it all worthwhile. And if guitar, piano or trumpet is not working out for you, well, you can always get one of those wooden frogs that croak when you scrape their back with the stick. They’re pretty neat.
• Learn a language: There are over 7,000 languages in current use, however, I would start with learning just one. C’est amusant!
• Go for a run: A way to produce natural endorphins along with reams of health benefits. It turns out you really can run away from your problems.
• Read a book: It doesn’t need to be Crime and Punishment or Anna Karenina. Plenty of good books are very accessible and kind to the reading-adverse: scan your local bookshop or library for a healthy selection, and if you need, acquire the assistance of one of the mousey assistants who will chat you up about their favourite picks for days. I’m pretty sure they live there.
• Switch off: Prolonged screen-time causes eye-strain, neck-pain and tiredness, so use your breaks to do just about anything else and you will feel all the better for it.
• Meditate: There are many ways to meditate. Really, lots. Lots of them. I can’t list them all. You have to take my word for it.
• Feed the birds: You don’t realise how many birds there are until you start feeding them. Now I’m afraid to go outside…
• Phone a friend: Not only a lifeline in Who Wants to be a Millionaire? but a thing you can do in real life. Tell them about your day! Just make sure it’s not their bedtime.
• Explore your local area: It’s true that we rarely appreciate things on our doorstep, or even know they’re there. Being a local tourist is not only cheap, but occasionally very enlightening.
• Write for fun: While it’s potentially true that everyone has a novel in them, you should probably start with a short story. Writing can be a lot of fun when you let go of all inhibitions; anything you plop onto the page is valid, and nobody is going to judge you for it – I promise.
• Water plants: They can be house plants or the scraggly flowers you are desperately trying to cultivate in your garden. Seeing them flourish is an easy boost for your mental health. [iii]
• Tidy up: It might seem like more work, but actually clearing living and working spaces can be the right kind of distraction, inviting tranquillity and order into your world.
• Punch: It can be a punching bag, the air, or anything else appropriate for hitting. The perfect way to expend some of those pent-up feelings.
• Dance: You don’t need a lot of space, just the will to boogie. Oh yeah.
• Become an animal: If you are bored with being a person, try being an animal. I often find myself being a sloth, which is very enriching.
• Read poetry: Poetry is so much more interesting and enjoyable than your schooling would have you believe. Check out Poetry Foundation for a comprehensive run down of some of the best from every era. Sylvia Plath will knock your teeth out (in a good way).
• Look at the sky: Watch the clouds roll by, and imagine what it’s like to be so light, fluffy and aimless.
• Plan the next big adventure: Planning a holiday can be less stressful than actually embarking on it, and is enjoyable in its own way. The possibilities are endless!
• Volunteer: If your free time is leaving you feeling unfulfilled, why not use if for a good cause? There is usually an abundance of volunteer opportunities in cities, with many online programs too.
• Put your feet up: Oh, this is a break? I thought it was a lifestyle. Of course, elevating our feet has numerous health benefits [iv] as well as just feeling good, which is the main reason you’ll be doing it.
• Practice astronomy: No better antidote to the stuffy, artificially lit indoors than stargazing, a hobby and field of interest that harks back to the dawn of civilisation.
• Get politically involved!: Few things are more demotivating than having an awful government that messes up everything. While overthrowing them may be challenging, we common folk still have the ability to change things on a smaller scale by protesting, spreading awareness in our immediate circle or taking part in a campaign. While not ‘relaxing’ in the conventional sense, these activities are certainly a break from the helplessness that underpins our usual engagement with politics.
• Read to someone else: A far less ambitious, but nonetheless impactful change is reading to somebody. The benefits to children are clear, but other demographics – the elderly or those trying to learn English– are easily overlooked. I would advise not doing this to random people, however, unless you want to be reading from the A&E.
• Tend the garden: If you have a patch of green to call your own, it’s worth sprucing it up a bit. A beloved pastime of Henry VIII, when he wasn’t executing his wives or silencing dissenters.
• Get creative with your cooking: Spice it up in the kitchen by making something you didn’t even know existed until a few moments ago.
• Listen to a podcast or audiobook: If you find reading more wearisome than relaxing you should try listening, a highly underrated skill in today’s noisy world. Nowadays there’s no limit of audiobooks or niche podcasts to pop on while you occupy yourself with something else, or simply do nothing.
• Go birdwatching: There is no greater satisfaction to be found in life than knowing the difference between a dunnock and a house sparrow.
• Swim: A traditional leisurely activity that gets you using all sorts of muscles. Also the closest you’ll get to achieving your secret aspiration of being a fish.
• Learn art or calligraphy: As hobbies go, art does not have to be that expensive: a pencil and sketchpad will do, or you can whack out the watercolours. Calligraphy is another option for those who would like to write
• Interior decorate: Before tidying up your life you should start with your living space. Adding little flourishes here and there can also bolster your mood in subtle ways. Make it pretty!
• Laugh at yourself: It feels good to not take yourself too seriously. Look at you : bloody ridiculous.
• Find out your local history: A great way to give you a fresh perspective on your area and ground you to the past. The countries forming the UK are pretty old so there is no shortage of interesting heritage to uncover.
• Sew worn clothes: Rather than throwing away garments that accrue holes, why not pretend you are a cottage-stricken grandma in the 19 th century and mend them? Not only is it more resourceful, saving time and avoiding needless waste, but the act itself is pretty satisfying and therapeutic. No wonder generations of downtrodden housewives were so fond of it.
• Look into your ancestry: Did you know that your great uncle played Toto from The Wizard of Oz? Truly an underrated actor.
• Contact family or old friends: Oh, you’ve been meaning to do it. Now you have a spare moment, there’s no excuse.
• Write a letter: Dearest Theobald. By the time your eyes grace this hastily produced missive, I will have announced my arrival at your doorstep with a ‘couple of cold ones’. Why, you ask, did I expend my energy in sending you this message? I liked writing ‘couple of cold ones’ in pen and ink. Ah yes. Couple of cold ones.
• Be aware of your own body: Unless you are a ghost or other non-material being, it can be valuable to use downtime as a way of getting back in touch with your body. Toes, hello? Are you there? Just checking in.
• Take a bath: An absolute classic.
• Play a puzzle game: You may interpret this as Tetris, the weekly sudoku or even the humble jigsaw kicking about in your cupboard. The great thing about puzzles is they offer complete detachment from the complex human problems of the real world. Also extreme levels of frustration.
• Make a sculpture: Sculptures, rather than being plopped into galleries fully-formed, are the product of many tiny constructions or chippings. The process is only as arduous as the artist desires – who says you can’t work on one over a few lunch breaks? Nor do you need to splash out on costly materials in order to make a masterpiece: anything that can be moulded is fair game. I personally like sculpting my neighbours into flamenco poses whenever they fall asleep on their front lawns, gradually imbuing them with an inexplicable desire for paella.
• Get rid of the junk: God knows you have a lot of it. Nothing can be quite so liberating as saying bon voyage to that tacky coaster set from three Christmases ago.
• Watch a short film: Outside of the major streaming services, many independent short films can be found online for free. This offers something a bit different without the time investment of a full-length film, and while you could spend an eternity flicking through obscure film dissertations, there are a number of classics that no enthusiast should miss. To this day I still wince in horror at the opening of Un Chien Andalou.
• Make lists: Lists, while great for productivity, are rather underrated as a recreational activity. You can truly make a list on anything; I like listing off all the things I would like to achieve, and then throwing it in the bin.
• Do nothing: Absolutely nothing. The more nothing, the better.
• Strut around town: It is a common misconception that you must go to town for a reason e for shopping, for lunch. No, no. You were born with the wonderful ability to strut – go use it. The city centre is your catwalk.
• Take in nice smells: Floral, fragrant, zesty, spicy and smoky smells have a way of transporting us from our often drab environments to foreign lands.
• Hydrate: While it may be a myth that you need to drink 6-8 glasses a day, it’s still important to always have some water on hand, and to listen to your body. Unless your body is saying some very unsavoury things.
• Scream: Scream therapy is not a modern fad but a long-established practice designed to clear your throat and mind. Indeed, there is a lot to scream about.
• Push-ups: A blood-pumping, circulating-flowing exercise you can do nearly anywhere, which, after a bit of practice, will have you feeling unstoppable.
• Study the London Underground Map: Hours will fly by.
• Appreciate some art: With some of the most recognizable museums and galleries offering their collections for free online, you won’t need to take time out to visit Tate or MoMA to become cultured and sophisticated.
• Groom yourself: Make yourself pretty, because you deserve it.
• Fly a kite: In the spirit of Mary Poppins, or, more fittingly, China where they were first flown over two thousand years ago, why not bring out a kite? Well, if it’s not windy – I guess that would be a reason.
• Write to your local-elected official: No doubt you are frustrated about something politically, or perhaps just hate your local council. If so, why not let them know in a strongly (appropriately) worded letter? You’ll be really chuffed with yourself afterwards.
• Still-life drawing: Start with some fair trade bananas and go from there. You’ll catch up to Van Gogh in no time (that’s pronounced fun Khokh . Yes, you’ve been botching it).
• Embrace total darkness: Rather than fighting against nature with a fusillade of bright lights, we should welcome natural darkness which keeps our body clocks in check and allows us to wind down nice and proper at the end of the day. If you need a dark retreat before then, however, you can always climb into a spare cupboard and close the door. If you want, you can even do some ghostly noises whenever somebody passes.
• Daydream: Crazily enough this has been found to boost productivity, but that should be the least of your reasons for doing it. Letting the mind wander is the purest, simplest pleasure we can attain and is a useful way to come up with creative ideas or solutions.
• Massage your feet: With such a high concentration of nerve endings on our feet – as much as 200,000 per sole – it’s no wonder we vividly associate them with pain and comfort. The latter does not a require professional masseur though, as massaging your own feet is not only very possible but quite nice.
• View memes: Otherwise known as the only real way to take a break.
• Put your legs against the wall: A very different way to put your feet up, but nonetheless quite relaxing and good for muscles, digestion, blood pressure and stress. [v]
• Paint your nails, face or any other part of your body: The body is a great canvas, as long as you aren’t tattooing your eyeballs.
• Say the word ‘groovy’ out loud: I guarantee you, you will feel groovy.
• Run a snail race: Before all of this fancy ‘technology’ there were snails and before F1 there was the snail race. Take delight in this primitive pleasure. Look at ‘em go!
• Watch an old cartoon: Whisk yourself back to a simpler time when escapism meant anthropomorphic animals committing unspeakable violence against each other.
• Make a smoothie: A smoothie can be made with anything, as long as you have a blender or food processor. A good smoothie is healthy, refreshing, and smooth. Smooth as hell.
• Sing, hum, whistle: Anything that jolts the lungs, an organ that can too easily become underutilised when working from home. Imagine you are the star of a slightly lacklustre musical.
• Give yourself a pat on the back: You deserve it.
• Practice your accents and impersonations: This will make you popular at parties. Or very unpopular.
• Origami: This timeless art will bring out the playful spirit within you. Just look at my penguin !
• Build a rock garden: Quirky, cute and strangely uplifting: the rock garden is a great project to tend to for a bit of zoning out.
• Revisit childhood memories: Ah yes, the blast from the past, an effective way of jettisoning your very adult worries. This can be achieved through any sort of stimuli: old recipes, the long-outdated media of yore, soft toys you’ve reluctantly kept – even smells. I personally find myself whisked back by the aroma of marzipan.
• Orchestrate your perfect outfit: Nobody is above a bit of dressing up and planning the ideal look can be just as fun as parading it around town.
• Doodle: It doesn’t have to be a work of art. The perks of the doodle are that it requires no skill, no commitment, is made for no one and achieves a wonderful level of eff all .
• Yodel: Quite separate from singing, this wonderful noisemaking act is a great release from the stresses of the day. It takes a bit of practice to not sound like a upset mountain goat, though.
• Learn a new fact: The scale of the world’s history is pretty hard to compute, but thankfully in this age of information we can have it broken down to teensy little pieces.
• Rub lotion into your hands, limbs and joints: Skin, like the people who have it, can become, tired, rough and irritated after a long day, so treat it well with moisturising and replenishing lotions.
• Laugh, for no reason: You’ve laughed at yourself, now laugh at the silliness of everything.
• Bake: It’s easy to be drawn into the baking craze that has swept Britain over the past decade. It would seem that no quiche or blueberry muffin can be produced now without the spectral presence of Paul Hollywood and his grunts of Northern apathy materialising above the tray, but the reality is nobody really cares how overdone your crust is. Do it for fun.
• Put nice things in your calendar: Calendars are horrible and stressful – but they don’t have to be. Sprinkle some good stuff in there.
• Stretch and shake your hands: Avoid cramps, aches and carpal tunnel by using your break as an opportunity to put some life back into those fingers. Jazz hands are highly effective in this regard.
• Break something: Perhaps this is being a bit too literal…
• Attempt a Rubik’s cube: Truly frustrating, but occasionally transcendental. Well, spinning the cube around is fun, at least.
• Be still: Once you’ve exhausted moving slowly, you can try not moving at all. Let things move without you: the earth spinning on its axis and tearing round the sun, the Milky Way crawling through the Universe.
• Smile: Things will be marginally better.
• Put your worries into a song: A creative way to deal with things that are bugging you, if you aren’t too self-conscious. Incorporate yodelling for an added artistic touch.

Peruse Wikipedia on a random subject: Wikipedia has over 6 million articles. You’ve likely read 5 million of those already, but there’s always an obscure subject or slightly forgotten figure to keep your insatiable curiosity fed. Wiki Roulette is a good website for flinging you onto a random page – I’ve already learnt so much about the Ugandan railway service.

• Cut your hair short: Take a break from the oppression of constant haircare and the expectations of society by rocking a low-maintenance cut. The act of shearing off your locks can be pretty liberating!
• Cycle: So much better for the environment, your body and mind [vi] than the ol’ petrol guzzler.
• Listen to the rain: Sun is nice, I guess, but nothing quite beats the soothing patter of the rain.
• Yawn: You are exhausted, give out a little yawn. Feel nice? Do it again.

[i] www.telegraph.co.uk. (n.d.). Spanish scientists prove the siesta is good for you - and issue guidelines for a perfect nap. [online] Available at: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/spain/9458799/Spanish-scientists-prove-the-siesta-is-good-for-you-and-issue-guidelines-for-a-perfect-nap.html

[ii] Mind (2018). How nature benefits mental health . [online] www.mind.org.uk. Available at: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/nature-and-mental-health/how-nature-benefits-mental-health/.

[iii] Verywell Mind. (n.d.). What Houseplants Can Do for Your Mental Health During Lockdown. [online] Available at: https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-health-benefits-of-houseplants-5097479.

[iv] Care, M.S.S. & H. (n.d.). 5 Health Benefits of Elevating Your Legs . [online] www.merricksurgical.com. Available at: https://www.merricksurgical.com/blog/post/5-health-benefits-of-elevating-your-legs-

[v] Right Home Remedies. (2020). Legs up the Wall: Amazing Benefits If You Put Your Legs on the Wall». [online] Available at: https://righthomeremedies.com/legs-up-the-wall-yoga-pose-benefits/

[vi] Jones, J. (2016). Science Explains How Cycling Changes Your Brain And Makes You Mentally Stronger . [online] Lifehack. Available at: https://www.lifehack.org/374699/science-explains-how-cycling-can-make-you-mentally-stronger.

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“Health is the greatest possession. Contentment is the greatest treasure. Confidence is the greatest friend.” ~Lao Tzu

It’s common among overachiever types: We like to push ourselves.

Sometimes it’s to get from A to B. Sometimes it’s to create the illusion of change when really, you’re just spinning your wheels. Sometimes it’s simply to avoid standing still and accepting the moment as it is.

All that pushing can feel so smart and productive—until you’re exhausted, overextended, overwhelmed, or otherwise ready to snap. I’ve felt all these things before.

There are days when I try to be everything to everyone and do more than I can reasonably accomplish, but I know there’s only so much my body, mind, and spirit can take.

Since it never seems to work to shout, “Stop the world, I want to get off,” I’ve come up with a few simple ways to give myself a break when I need it.

If you feel physically, mentally, emotionally, or even digitally exhausted, these tips may help:

How to Give Yourself a Break Physically

1. Allow yourself a little extra sleep , whether it’s by going to bed a half-hour earlier or by sleeping in an extra fifteen minutes and then skipping your usual morning coffee stop.

2. Take a day off from exercising if you usually run, go to the gym, or participate in some type of aerobic class.

3. Skip the stairs and take the elevator or escalator. Sometimes it’s perfectly okay to choose the easy path!

4. Replace strenuous exercise with something less intense , like restorative yoga .

5. Relax in a sauna or steam room to relax your muscles and sweat out chemicals that build up in your body.

6. Utilize a detoxifying cleanse to clear out toxins and give your digestive organs a break.

7. Take a break from alcohol, processed food, and sugar if a cleanse feels too extreme.

8. Get a massage or trade massages with someone you love. Massages are not only relaxing, they’ve also been proven to minimize anxiety, boost the immune system, and reduce depression and anxiety.

9. Take a long, hot bath to take weight off your weary muscles and joints.

10. Be mindful of your posture at your desk at work and take breaks to walk around and stretch. This one is smart on any day; hunching over our computers can cause major back and neck pain.

How to Give Yourself a Break Mentally

11. Take some time to meditate , even if it’s just for five minutes.

12. Use a deep breathing technique to calm your nervous system and clear your thoughts.

13. Give yourself a complete day without any financial worries ; put your statements and bills in a drawer and save all eBills for tomorrow. (Trust me, they won’t go anywhere. Just don’t make this one a consistent practice!)

14. Set aside some time to play and be childlike .

15. Sing, paint, dance, or otherwise express yourself creatively. It’s awfully hard to stress and over-think when you’re engaged in something fun and expressive.

16. Go outside and immerse yourself in nature. Feel the ground or grass underneath your feet and focus on being present on enjoying your environment and the scenery.

17. Close down the multiple tabs on your computer screen and instead single-task. If you’re writing, write. If you’re editing a video, edit. Give yourself permission to get into a state of flow and let all distractions slip away.

18. Indulge in a guilty pleasure. Read a trashy magazine, go shopping, drink a latte, or do something else that always pulls you out of your head—most things are fine in moderation!

19. Take a day off from negative, draining people,  even the ones you love. You can be an ear tomorrow.

20. Simply sit. Choose to do nothing—don’t read, watch TV, surf the web, or in any way consume information. Just be.

How to Give Yourself a Break Emotionally

21. Metaphorically release emotions, for example, by writing them on a piece of paper and then burning it.

22. Practice observing your feelings instead of getting caught up in them , as I explored in the post How to Deal with Uncomfortable Feelings and Create Positive Ones .

23. Utilize progressive muscle relaxation , which involves tensing and then relaxing one muscle group at a time, starting with your face and then working down to your feet.

24. Count successes. Make a note of all the things you’ve done well, and give yourself permission to be proud instead of dissatisfied with what you haven’t done.

25. Replace regrets with dreams. Whenever you start thinking about what you should have done, shift your focus to what you plan to do now. It’s far more empowering and a lot less draining.

26. Create a worry window —twenty minutes in the morning and early evening, for example. If you start stressing at a different time, remind yourself that you can worry all you want once it’s time.

27. Make it a label-free day. Every time you catch yourself judging yourself or a situation as bad or inadequate—things that always cause anxiety—consciously choose to avoid labeling anything. It’s a lot easier to stay calm when we limit our negative self talk.

28. Cry if you need to and are able.  It can help you release chemicals and hormones and create a more relaxed, positive state of mind.

29. Write down the things you’re grateful for.  Identifying the things that have brought us joy is a powerful way to create more.

30. Eliminate should for a day. Every time you catch yourself getting caught up in how you should be or things should be, tell yourself, “It is what it is.” Once we accept what is, we’re in a much better place to create things as we’d like them to be.

How to Give Yourself a Break from Technology

31. Make a conscious decision to spend the first portion of your morning tech-free. Don’t power up your computer or turn on the TV. Instead try some suggestions from Srinivas Rao’s post How to Wake Up Every Morning on Top of the World .

32. Commute without technology. Instead of listening to voicemails or tweeting on your iPhone, read a physical book or write in your journal. Use this small window of time to connect with yourself.

33. Take a completely tech-free hour. Turn your cell phone off, shut down your computer, and put your iPad in a drawer.

34. Plan unproductive downtime,  by taking a walk, for example. Research shows this type of disconnected time is crucial to learning and forming memories.

35. Decide to check email only once today  (outside of work)   so that you spend less time checking messages and more time engaging in activities that feel fulfilling.

36. Identify what you’re really seeking from technology —whether it’s acceptance, acknowledgment, or stimulation—and then look for ways to get that without logging on.

37. Store gadgets in a place where you can’t see them when you’re not using them so they don’t in any way consume your energy or thoughts.

38. Technology fast on a weekend day . This probably isn’t an option during the week—and I’ll admit this is challenging for me even on the weekend—but it’s worth trying: a day without any gadgets.

39. Give your technology a bed time. I know from experience how pre-bed web surfing can negatively impact sleep. Decide in advance at what point you’ll put all your gadgets away, and then choose other relaxing activities before you head to sleep.

40. Decide for a day that nothing is urgent. Emails, phone calls, text messages—unless it’s an actual life-or-death situation, it isn’t a catastrophe and it can wait until tomorrow.

Have anything to add to the list?

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people honor their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here .

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Meaning of break-journey in English

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• adjournment
• asynchronously
• coffee break
• hold something in abeyance
• in abeyance
• intermission
• non-continuous
• postponement

You can also find related words, phrases, and synonyms in the topics:

Translations of break-journey

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doggie day care

a place where owners can leave their dogs when they are at work or away from home in the daytime, or the care the dogs receive when they are there

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• Relationships

7 Rules to Follow When You Take a Relationship Break

Plus, whether or not these really work.

Michelle Guerrere has a degree in journalism and nearly a decade of experience lifestyle for a variety of digital and print publications.

Getty Images / Delmaine Donson

You and your partner may be deeply in love and want a relationship to work, but when things aren't working for one or both parties, it's important to stop and reassess the situation. In these cases, taking a relationship break might be the best way to decide if (and how) you'll move forward together. Taking a break—or taking a time-out from your relationship without actually breaking up—can give you both the space you need to decide what your future should look like. For some couples, this time apart allows them to see that their problems are fixable; for others, one person may realize that they don't see a future with their partner.

A break most certainly does not mean a breakup , though. In fact, experts agree that taking time apart often helps pairs realize that they want to be together. Many couples decide to reconcile, but it's essential to lay out guidelines for the break from the beginning, so that you can both move forward with similar expectations. But on the flip side, it's important to remember that a relationship break doesn’t guarantee a successful outcome (read: a better, stronger partnership), notes Elizabeth Overstreet, a relationship strategist. "It is highly dependent on how the people in the relationship approach the break and decide to maturely work on the underlying issues that have led to this particular moment," she says. "Taking a break away from someone you love and have been in a relationship with can elicit different responses."

In that sense, you could argue that a relationship break always works—it reveals the go-forward plan, whether you decide to get back together or part ways for good. "Time away from the relationship may reveal that this is the path to continue moving forward and that the issues in the relationship cannot be resolved," Overstreet affirms. "Or, time away, if the couple goes into the break intentionally, may reveal that the relationship can be worked on and improved."

Meet the Expert

• Elizabeth Overstreet is a relationship strategist, speaker, and the author of the forthcoming book, Love Can Be Messy But You Don’t Have to Be.
• Liz Higgins , LMFT-S, DARTT, is part of the Millennial Life Counseling group and helps her patients navigate the anxieties around modern life and relationships.
• Chris Armstrong is a certified relationship coach affiliated with The Divorce School.
• Gary Brown , PhD, LMFT, FAAETS, CPC, is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 30 years in private practice working with individuals, couples, and families.

If you're curious about taking a break in a relationship and how to go about it the right way, here are seven of the most important rules to follow, according to several relationship experts.

Make Sure You Both Understand the Purpose of the Relationship Break

Do some soul-searching to explore why you need a break in the first place. Are you feeling like your relationship is lacking excitement? Are you hitting a new stage in your life (moving for work, going to school) that has you thinking you may not work together long-term? The point here is to realize whether your problem is a deal-breaker (like your significant other doesn't want kids and you do). If that's the case, there's no need for a break—it's time for a break-up. "When taking a timeout, call it for yourself and not for your partner," says Liz Higgins, a couples therapist. "This decision all comes down to knowing yourself."

Have an In-Person Conversation About the Relationship Break

Since a break from your relationship involves both partners, the conversation about embarking on one should, too. If at all possible, this conversation should take place in person. If you're in a long-distance relationship, that might be the only exception. That way, you'll be able to read body language and signals you usually won't get over the phone. Plus, seeing someone face to face will confirm whether or not the feelings are still there.

Overstreet's best tip for having this conversation with your partner? Don't hold back. "Be open and honest about why you both feel the break is needed. This will help establish the goals and expectations during the break and allow both individuals to go into it with clarity around its purpose," she says. "It takes courage and vulnerability to say what you need to say—but on the back end, you both will respect one another for putting your cards on the table versus holding back the truth."

Set Some Ground Rules

Be as clear as possible about the purpose of the break, what you hope to gain from it, and expectations about your time apart. Bring up the reason you're having the break, how often (or if) you'll stay in touch, and whether you'll date other people during this time. Another important thing to consider is how to treat a break if you live together . "If you share things with this person (e.g. a car, a dog), you will not be able to truly 'take a break' if you are still half invested because of these things," says dating and relationship coach Chris Armstrong. "Remove the co-dependencies you have on each other to the greatest extent you can for the duration that you're on your break."

Getty Images / Phira Phonruewiangphing

Discuss Seeing Other People

Dating other people while you and your current partner are on a relationship break may or may not be off-limits—but this is one key element that you absolutely need to outline before you press pause. "It’s important to have a conversation about whether you will start seeing other people during this break or not," says Overstreet. "It can help to manage realistic expectations and avoid confusion. If both of you agree to see other people, it’s crucial to establish clear rules and boundaries to protect one another’s emotional well-being."

"If you are married and taking a break, deciding to see other people, especially if there are kids involved, can create additional complexity," says Overstreet, who advises against dating someone at this time. If your relationship break leads to a proper separation, you can discuss seeing other people then. "Closing out one relationship, if married, before entering another relationship can provide emotional, mental, physical, and financial closure and set you up to have a healthier start to your next relationship," she explains.

Define How Long the Relationship Break Will Last

Some people find it helpful to set a rough timeline for when they'll schedule a check-in or a time to discuss how each person is feeling about the time apart. You should work together to determine a timeframe for discussion that feels reasonable for each of you, as this will limit any ambiguity or anxiety around your break. "It should be realistic and allow both of you to have enough time for self-reflection and to determine whether your relationship issues can be resolved," notes Overstreet. "Determining a timeline for the break will ensure it doesn’t go indefinitely and help maintain a sense of direction."

When that time is up, have an honest conversation about how you're both feeling and if you have an idea about how you'd like to proceed. All that said, remember that it's perfectly normal if you're on different timeframes—the goal is to check in with some established regularity, not make a final decision at the same moment.

Consider scheduling regular check-ins during the relationship break to discuss your experiences, emotions, and insights, advises Overstreet. "This can help maintain open communication and ensure both partners feel heard and supported throughout the break," she says.

Make Your Time Apart Count

While on your break, take time getting to know yourself out of a relationship. You can pick up hobbies you haven't been doing as frequently, visit with family and friends, and at times allow yourself to feel lonely (often when you're part of a couple you don't get to feel this often). "You need to ask yourself if wanting to escape feeling lonely is a sufficient reason to be with anyone—especially if it's your primary reason for being in a relationship at all," says Gary Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist.  Also determine whether you feel the problems in your relationship can be fixed by the break, or if it's best to part ways and move forward alone. Put simply: If you're happier solo than you were together, it's likely time to cut ties.

Make an Appointment With a Therapist

"If you feel the break is not helping the relationship or you are unsure how to navigate the situation, consider seeking guidance from a couples therapist or relationship coach ," notes Overstreet. "Make sure you speak with someone who has experience in helping couples navigate through the intricacies you and your partner are trying to figure out. They can provide valuable insights and help you and your partner navigate the challenges that may arise during the break."

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What is a break of journey.

Did you know that with many tickets in Great Britain, it’s possible to use one ticket and break up your journey as you wish? Let’s take a look at break of journey, what it means and when you can do it.

In a railway sense, a break of journey is when you interrupt your trip part-way through. For example, if you’re travelling from London to Birmingham, then choose to get off in Coventry and visit some friends for a couple of hours, then this is a break of journey.

If you’re just changing trains or using the facilities at the station, then this isn’t a break of journey. For example, you might have 30 minutes between trains and choose to visit a shop on the station concourse.

How long can a break of journey last for?

You can break your journey for as long as your ticket is valid. For example, if you have a day return , you’d need to complete your journey by 04:30 the next morning.

If you have an Off-Peak Return , then you need to complete your outward journey on the same day. You can break your journey on the way back as many times as you like within one month, so long as you don’t ‘double back’ and keep travelling in the same direction. There’s no requirement to complete your journey on the same day.

An Anytime Return has similar rules, but you can use the outward part of your ticket for five days. An Anytime Single is valid for two days.

Finally, if you can’t reasonably complete your journey within the validity of the ticket, and need to stop overnight, you can do this. However, you need to complete your journey the following day, with no further breaks allowed, other than to change trains.

Which tickets allow a break of journey?

Most flexible tickets allow you to break your journey. This includes all tickets marked as ‘ Anytime ‘. When it comes to tickets that are either Off-Peak or Super Off-Peak , it can vary. You can always break your return journey, but some tickets don’t allow you to do this on your outward journey.

You can find this out by checking which restriction code your ticket has. You’ll find this at the bottom of your ticket if it’s an eTicket:

When you follow the link , it’ll tell you what the restriction code means. If it does not mention breaking your journey, then there aren’t any restrictions.

If there is a restriction, you’ll find it in the notes section, such as here for code 3A :

Can I break my journey with an Advance ticket?

Breaking your journey isn’t possible with an Advance ticket. This is because you need to stick to the trains you’ve booked, and complete the journey in one go.

Remember, changing trains and using the facilities at the station doesn’t count as breaking your journey. If you have a long connection and want to be let through the ticket gates to pop to a shop in the station, you should be allowed to do this.

What if a member of staff writes the date on my ticket?

If you have a paper ticket, staff might mark the date on it. This usually happens if you have a return ticket where the return part is valid for a month. This doesn’t affect how long the ticket is valid for and doesn’t mean that you have to complete your entire journey on that day.

Any markings on the ticket do not change how long it’s valid for.

Is there anything else I should know?

The final thing that we’d recommend doing is booking your rail tickets with Railsmartr . We believe in keeping things simple and making rail travel easy to understand and accessible. Whether you want to know about cheap train tickets or the best First Class trains , we’ve got you covered.

We don’t charge any fees either. No booking fees, and no extra fees if you need to change your plans. Why pay more?

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I am travelling from US to India and would like to know if I can take a break of 1 week in Europe in my connection to India.

Yes it's possible but it will probably be more expensive.

You need to use a search engine like http://www.kayak.com/, and choose the multi-city option.

For money you can book any ticket you like!!

If I am booking a round trip ticket through internet how do I break journey? Do I still get the same reduction in fare that are available for round trips?

It will be at a different price.

In general a connection up to 23 hours and 59 minutes is not generating an extra cost. Above that, it is...

so whats the solution pretty much the same thing for me Toronto - Switzerland - Mumbai.

As posts #1 and #2 above - book 'multi-city'.

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The Benefits Of Stepping Back: Understanding When To Take A Break From Therapy

Therapy can be a valuable part of people’s mental health journeys. It can offer a way to work through mental health conditions, learn new coping skills, and effectively communicate emotions. However, you might want to take a break from therapy, which is entirely valid.

The reason for taking a break from therapy, whether short-term or long-term, can vary among different people. No matter the case, if you decide to take a break from treatment, you can always return to it. Continue reading to learn more about why you might take a therapy break and the potential benefits of doing so.

Identifying the right time to take a break from therapy

Mental health can be complex and nuanced; therapy can be vital in addressing and managing various conditions. However, therapy sessions can be emotionally taxing, and sometimes stepping back to apply the skills learned in therapy can be beneficial. Taking a break from treatment can be a personal choice, but there are different factors you may need to consider before making this decision.

When is it time to take a step back?

There are no specific guidelines for the proper length of time in therapy, as it may vary from person to person. One signal it might be time for a break is when treatment no longer feels necessary or progress has stalled. It may be helpful to communicate openly with your therapist about your thoughts and feelings about taking a break, and together, you can create a plan of action.

Taking a full pause or step back from therapy may also be appropriate when you reach a specific milestone. For example, you may have initially sought treatment to help manage anxiety or to work through a difficult life transition. Once you have successfully learned the coping skills, it could be time to take a break from therapy sessions. 

Remember that taking a break doesn't mean you've failed or won't need support in the future. It might simply be the time to move on to practicing what you've learned independently.

Benefits of taking a break from therapy

Taking a break from therapy can have several advantages. You may now have the space to explore the following benefits after treatment.

Self-reflection and personal growth

It may help you see what areas you still need to work on and what you've already accomplished. For example, you might realize you've become better at managing stress but must build stronger relationships.

Self-reliance and confidence

When you take breaks from therapy, you can practice handling challenging situations independently. Using the skills you learned in treatment may help you feel more confident. For example, you might find that you're better at calming yourself down during tasks that you found challenging before, like writing, preparing for an exam, or working on a stressful project.

New goals and progress

Taking a break may allow you to reevaluate your goals and see how much you've achieved, enabling you to set new therapy goals. For instance, you could set a new goal to improve your work-life balance or to develop better communication skills with your partner.

Real-life application of coping skills

A break from therapy can allow you to use the coping skills you've learned daily. It may help you see how well they work and if you need to change your approach. For instance, you may find that deep breathing exercises help you stay focused during a challenging project.

Assess the effectiveness of the therapy

Taking a step back from therapy may help you think about the strength of your relationship with your therapist and how well the therapy is working for you. It can help you decide if you should continue with your current therapist, try a different therapy, or look for other types of support. For example, you might realize that group therapy better fits your needs than individual therapy.

Explore alternative healing methods

During a break, you can try other ways to feel better, like practicing mindfulness , exercising, or joining a support group. Trying different methods can provide more ways to care for your mental health and could be an excellent supplement for your therapy. 

In the next section, we'll delve into strategies that can help to maintain mental health during a break from therapy and how you can effectively use this time for personal growth.

What happens after therapy?

Taking a break from therapy should not be an end to taking care of your mental health. Below are some options you may explore to make your break successful. 

Preparing for the last session before the break

Discuss your decision to take a break with your therapist and collaborate to prepare for it. Processing your feelings about the break can be beneficial, as it can be common to experience feelings of loss when pausing therapy.

Exploring other resources for mental health support

During the break, it can be essential to maintain a sound support system . It may include friends, family members, or support groups that can help you focus on your mental health. You may also explore other resources, such as books, podcasts, or online courses, that can help support your therapeutic goals.

Staying connected with the therapist during the break

While having a break from therapy can be perfectly fine, staying in touch with your therapist may be instrumental. With their permission, you can reach out for occasional check-ins, preparing yourself for a smoother transition when you resume your sessions.

As you navigate the break from therapy, you can implement the tools learned from your sessions to maintain your mental health and support your continued progress.

Returning to therapy after a break

Returning to therapy after a break can be a positive step in maintaining mental health and consistency in self-improvement. You may want to consider several factors when resuming treatment, though, including those below.

Evaluating the need for additional sessions

Before resuming therapy, consider evaluating whether you need more sessions. After a break, it's not uncommon to experience a relapse into old patterns or feelings, which may warrant additional guidance from a therapist. For example, you may have taken a break from therapy after learning to manage social anxiety. You might be confident and comfortable in social interactions but later encounter a significant life change, like moving to a new city or starting a new job. These unique circumstances could trigger social anxiety to resurface, as you might face unfamiliar situations and the stress of building new relationships. 

Returning to therapy could help refresh the coping strategies you learned before. You can consider how well you’ve maintained progress and whether you’re handling new life events or challenges that could benefit from therapy.

Re-establishing the therapeutic relationship

You can communicate your intentions and goals with your therapist when returning to therapy. This conversation will help both parties understand why you're returning and what areas need attention. Talk to your therapist about any challenges you may have encountered during the break and any changes in your life that may affect the therapy sessions.

Online therapy

If you feel uncomfortable returning to traditional face-to-face therapy, you may want to consider online treatment . Virtual therapy often offers more flexibility in scheduling and can be a more comfortable option for those who prefer remote sessions. It may also be more cost-effective, benefiting people who took a break from therapy because of financial constraints.

According to recent research, online therapy can be as effective as traditional therapy in addressing and managing the symptoms of many mental health conditions, including anxiety and depression. That means you can get care through the web that isn’t less valuable than what you might receive in person, making it easier to customize your treatment to fit your needs.

During a break from therapy, you may benefit from building a support system, including friends, family, or other resources like support groups. These connections can help with the continuation of emotional and mental well-being. Your therapist can advise you on when and how you should take a break and how to return to therapy after a break.

• Exploring Effective Approaches To Therapy Medically reviewed by Nikki Ciletti , M.Ed, LPC
• Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help With Symptoms Of IBS? Medically reviewed by Andrea Brant , LMHC
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Want to drink 50% less this month? Join the free class on 4/30 »

Ep #225: A Songwriter’s Journey with Take a Break

The podcast, take a break.

Episode #225

A Songwriter’s Journey with Take a Break

When started doing this work, she thought that taking a break from drinking was all about losing weight. Since then, her relationship with alcohol has evolved in ways she never expected. 

Pippa’s journey with drinking sets a powerful example of what can happen when you stop listening to cookie-cutter advice and do what’s right for you.

Tune in today to hear Pippa’s story of taking a break from alcohol multiple times over the past few years and what these breaks have taught her about her songwriting. If you believe you can’t be creative without a drink in your hand, Pippa’s journey will inspire you to reconsider.

What You’ll Discover

Why people believe we need alcohol to be creative.

The problem with thinking your only options are to drink or not drink.

How group coaching helps remove the shame you feel around drinking.

Featured on the show

When you’re ready to take what you’re learning on the podcast to the next level, come check out my 30-day Take a Break Challenge .

Ep #50: Choosing Discomfort

You are listening to the Take A Break podcast with Rachel Hart, episode 225.

Whether you want to drink less or stop drinking, this podcast will help you change the habit from the inside out. We’re challenging conventional wisdom about why people drink and why it can be hard to resist temptation. No labels, no judgment, just practical tools to take control of your desire and stop worrying about your drinking. Now, here’s your host Rachel Hart.

Alright, so welcome everyone. We are doing things a little differently today on the podcast is I wanted to bring someone on who just is amazing in her own right. But I wanted her to come on so that you can really get the experience of hearing her journey and her story as she has been working to change the habit of drinking and her relationship with alcohol. Because I know all of you here, you hear from me and you hear about my story, but my story is just one.

So often I think we approach drinking too much as if it’s this cookie-cutter issue when in reality it’s not. It looks very different for different people. So my friend Pippa is here. Pippa is an amazing songwriter. In fact I think that actually we were just talking before we started recording and we’re going to share one of the songs that she actually put together around the work that she has been doing inside Take A Break and her work to change the habit. And her voice will just blow you away.

But I really am excited to have her here and just share a different perspective about what this journey can look like. So, welcome, Pippa.

Pippa: Hi Rachel. It’s so good to be here.

Rachel: I am so happy, so happy to have you here. So there’s so many things that I want to talk to you about. But I think one thing that will be really interesting is to talk about how you first came to this work. So I know that you actually came to the tools that I teach and this idea of Taking A Break, you came to it because you wanted actually to lose weight. And you wanted, you know, it was more about food for you. So can you tell us a little bit about that?

Pippa: Yeah, absolutely. I mean I put on quite a lot of weight. I’m 34 now but from 23 to 29 I just kept kind of getting bigger. And I got to the point where I was like, you are super unhealthy now. I was in the dangerous zone. And I realized that alcohol was not helping. But I was very much like you are really unhealthy. The doctors are telling you. Your BMI is really bad. You’ve got to sort this out. Clearly, you’re going to need to stop drinking to help. And I had struggled with that. So I came at it from a very simple kind of, well, you’re unhealthy so get rid of the booze. This shouldn’t be too difficult.

I didn’t realize at that point that it would impact the other areas of my life, anxiety, depression, all my fears about stuff, my ambitions, my goals, my drive, all of the stuff you talk about. I kind of just wanted to lose weight. And then I struggled to lose weight and gradually, gradually, gradually through your work I got there. But it was four and a half years ago I think when I first found your work and it’s been a long old journey. But I have lost a lot of weight now and I’m doing things very, very differently.

I mean I used to say, “I’ll get to a point where suddenly everything will be perfect.” And now I know that it’s always going to be a bit of a journey. It’s always going to be something to work on, so yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. I think, I mean there’s so many things that I want to talk to you about there. I think one is this idea that it was just like, yeah, it should just be simple to not drink. This should be a piece of cake.

Pippa: Yeah. I definitely didn’t think at the time, you have a huge – I knew I drank a bit too much, but a lot of my friends did. It was more, well, the fact that when you drink you tend to always eat more and then you might eat more the next day. So it’s more like this is just not helping rather than let’s look at your relationship with alcohol. I didn’t do any of that. I was just like, “This is getting in the way, let’s fix it”, kind of thing.

Rachel: I don’t want to look at my relationship. Let’s just fix the problem.

Pippa: Let’s just fix it, yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. So I think that at least for me I would say my experience is that I had a lot of anxiety about well, what if it is hard for me to take a break? What does that mean about me? Does that mean that something’s wrong with me, that I have a really big problem? And so I think that that can bring up kind of like a lot of anxiety for people at first. And they’re like, “Yeah, this should just be like a piece of cake. No problem here.”

Pippa: Completely. And my gosh, I mean, and you worked this out very quickly when I did a couple of live coaching calls with you. You were like, “You really beat yourself up.” And I was like, “Yeah, but no more than anyone else. This is just standard.” And then it did take a while for me to realize, my goodness, I really do have huge expectations of you should be perfect. And you should be doing this. And you shouldn’t feel this. And this shouldn’t be a problem. And I did have to kind of pack that first before because it definitely held me back.

For the first year or so I think I just, every time I would do something wrong it would set me back a month or two because I’d just do the whole, oh well, you screwed up so you’re a failure. So you might as well be bad for another month before you address this again. It’s a really big thing for me that – it’s kind of the first thing I probably had to deal with before I then relaxed into it and actually did the work properly.

Rachel: Yeah. And I think when we’re telling ourselves this should be really easy and then we find it’s not as easy as I thought. And then what does that mean? And then it just kind of, it really kind of fuels that beating yourself up cycle because it’s like okay, well, you’ve really got to figure this out.

Pippa: Yeah. I was so afraid of discomfort. Every time something was hard, I would do the whole this shouldn’t be hard. Why have you got, you know, whether it’s playing the piano, or cooking something, or not cleaning the bath properly. I’d be like, “You really should be better at this.” All of this stuff. And you did a great episode on, what was it, accepting discomfort or living – the discomfort one. That really made me go, “So discomfort is a good thing and let’s embrace it, and let’s look at it head on.” And that was a real game changer for me.

And now when something is hard, I always go, “Hard is good. Hard takes you out of your comfort zone. You can only achieve good things in the world of hard.” It’s not even hard. It’s just a bit challenging. So that was another big kind of eye-opener, I guess.

Rachel: Yeah. I think one other thing too it’s just what your journey has looked like. So a lot of times I often get this question of, “Okay, so I’m supposed to stop drinking, right? I mean that’s what we’re doing here is ultimately we have to stop drinking?” And what I’m always telling people is, “You have to determine what’s right for you and what feels good for you.”

And again, I don’t think it should all be this kind of cookie-cutter approach then the only solution is abstinence for the rest of your life. Or the solution is if you are struggling you have to stop drinking right now and make that your decision. And so I’m just curious if you can talk a little bit about what that journey has looked like for you.

Pippa: So yeah, I mean I definitely decided I wanted to just kind of have a bit less. And then where I am now is I am still kind of working on my on/off relationship. So I’ll give it up for sort of three months. I’ve done your 30-day program a few times. And then I’ve kind of tried to bring it back in gradually. And sometimes it’s worked in the sense whereby I’ll always ask myself, “Did you like the results that you got?” And sometimes I do, I’ve had one or two, enjoyed the night, not had a negative. So I’ve been banking those and going, “Okay, so you can sometimes moderate.”

And then other times obviously it’s not gone to plan, and I’ve tried to go, “Gosh, is this really working?” And then I might give it up again for another couple of months. Right now I’m off it for a few more months. And it stressed me out a bit at the beginning because I was like, “You have to make a decision.” And my friends and family are so confused, they’re so confused. They’re like, “Are you drinking this month? Are you not drinking?” And I feel they really want me to just make a decision because it would be easier to just always make a decision.

But I’m kind of I don’t mind that it’s taking a long time. And maybe I will eventually just to decide not to drink. But I’m kind of much more chill about it because I’m just going through the process of seeing what works and what doesn’t. And sometimes it does work. Sometimes it doesn’t, but I’m kind of in control of it, if that makes sense. But it’s been basically, it’s been four years that I’ve been thinking about my relationship with alcohol and food. And I’m still not a 100% sure where I will be.

And actually I met up with a lovely friend who I met through a sort of a sober group on Facebook in real life yesterday for the first time which was another lovely thing about the community that you have. It made me think let’s find people where I am in the UK. And we had exactly the same conversation. She was like, “I don’t know yet. This might take some time. But you’re right, I think there’s a lot of pressure to decide that it has to be this and then if you don’t do it this way then you are broken”, and etc., etc. So yeah, still on the journey but loving the journey.

Rachel: Yeah. And I think that that, you know, so often I think people they think that there’s just only two buckets to be in. Either you drink or you don’t drink. And I think that there’s a lot more, I hear so much more now especially from people that are in health and wellness that they’re like, “Yeah, I just want to take time off because I know it just doesn’t feel good to drink all the time. It’s not good for my body. I want to do that kind of reset.” But so often we get stuck in that, okay, but are you drinking or are you not drinking?

I get this too a lot when people will want to know, “Okay, so do you drink, or do you not drink?” And I was just in the 30-day challenge teaching an exercise that I teach about drinking with zero distractions. And it’s like, I did that exercise, I had alcohol. But people are like, “Okay, but do you drink or do not drink?” It’s like we don’t have to have this kind of black and white approach to it. And I think that can be kind of very freeing for people when they realize that that’s possible.

Pippa: I 100% relate to that. And just to go off at a slight tangent. I’ve been dating a bit in the last year and there have been, especially that first date thing. Whether I’ve been drinking or not, I’ve always tried to do the first couple of dates sober all the time because I just think it’s so much better. But there have been some guys that really are like, “So you’re not drinking now, but you are going to drink again, right? How long is it for? Well why?” It just has been a real mix of reactions.

But some very, very personal questions really that actually I was like, “We don’t have to go into this, it’s the first date, why are you asking me about my in-depth relationship with alcohol? I’m just not drinking today, and can you not pry?” But it clearly is something that people they really want to box up in their head, she’s either a big drinker or she’s not. And I find that very frustrating because you wouldn’t do that if someone was like, “I’m not smoking today.” You wouldn’t be like, “Why?” What a bad choice.

Rachel: But I mean it’s so revealing because of course all the questions that we are posed with and like, “How long? But you’re going to start again. And why and how come?” It’s always so revealing because then it gives a window into someone else’s relationship with alcohol and their thoughts about it. But I am not dating any more, but I very much had that same experience of this is very revealing. And you know what? I just find that first dates where I wasn’t drinking, I just tended to make better decisions.

Pippa: Yeah. It’s just so much more efficient. It’s so much more efficient. I remember once drinking, meeting a guy thinking it went really well. And then meeting him three weeks later once I had again gone into one of my non-drinking phases and it was not so good. I was like, “Okay, you were a little bit drunk maybe and maybe he’s not actually as amazing as you remember.”

Rachel: No, we don’t click as much without the alcohol.

Pippa: Yeah, quite funny that isn’t it? It’s like raining on a Tuesday morning with no stimulants. And you’re not as interesting. So yeah, I definitely – it’s just, yeah, you’re not distracted by any kind of haze or any of that. But like you say, people – it was actually my brother who had the strongest reaction to the whole thing. He’s a heavy drinker and he wants me to find someone. And we’re quite close. And I said, “Yeah, I’m just giving it up for four months”, or whatever.

And he was like, “Oh gosh, but the kind of guys that you’re going to end up with are going to be so boring if you only go for, you know, and no one’s going to…” And again he went off on one and I was like, “This is about you. Let’s deal with me. Yeah, we’ll talk about that another day.” We’ll book in a session anyway.

Rachel: So one thing I wanted to touch on a little bit is the fact that you’re a songwriter, you’re incredibly creative. We are going to share one of Pippa’s songs at the end of this which is amazing. But we talked about kind of this idea that alcohol and creativity go hand-in-hand. And I just want to hear a little bit from you about what your experience has been like with that.

Pippa: Yeah. So liberating, I 100% fell into the camp of I can’t write a good song unless I’ve had a drink or two. I work full-time nearly being a songwriter. So sometimes I have to write songs at 11:00am on a Thursday. I did that today. And of course I’m able to do it. But it’s like your Rolodex of excuses. As soon as it hit kind of five and I was still working, I’d be like, “Well, you’re flagging a bit. Your best work is yet to come. Have a drink.”

And of course in my 20s when I was meeting all the kind of creatives that I work with now and just in theater in general which is where I work, there’s a very big drinking culture and kind of getting together and writing together. And it’s the same as going to a party but it’s kind of work. So it’s very dangerous in that respect because the lines are very blurred. It’s not a social thing but it is a social thing. And so yeah, I definitely would drink to try and get inspiration. And in the last few years obviously I’ve not and just proved that I really don’t need it to write a good song.

I guess, and it’s the same with me with my creativity, when I’ve done something I don’t like I’m very quick to be like, “You’re so bad. You’ve lost it. Your talent has gone.” And when I was drinking, I could quiet that down, so I felt better about myself. So there’s definitely been more kind of sharp, this really isn’t good. But now I’m just like, “Okay, so why don’t we like it? How do we make it better?” So it’s an ongoing thing. But I would say 95% of the people I work with would say that they need a drink in certain situations to do their job which is very depressing really.

Rachel: Yeah. I mean I think it’s really interesting because it’s like is alcohol actually giving me access to inspiration? Or is it just the way that we know how to kind of quiet that inner critic that’s like, “That’s no good. This is crap. This is garbage. You’re not going to figure it out.” I mean I think we often kind of don’t realize, the same way I talk about on the podcast, I talk about that inner critic not showing up, being creative, which it would of course. But showing up like when I was socializing. But it’s like that same mechanism is happening there.

Pippa: It’s the same thing. And this is obviously a really specific example. But because when I’m scatting, when I’m writing in a room with some writers, I’m at the piano. If I want to try an idea, it’s audible. I’m at the piano, I’m singing, I’m probably scatting random words that don’t make sense in front of people. And there are writers I still don’t feel comfortable enough doing that with, but you have to be vulnerable. So you have to basically be putting out into the room at least absolutely awful things.

And whereas maybe a novelist or a playwright they can kind of type away for half a day until they get to the point where they want to share that stuff with their collaborators. Whereas for me I’m always literally putting out the first things unfiltered to the people who I’m working with. And therefore yeah, you’re very worried about being vulnerable and that they’re going to think it’s awful, they’re going to think it’s bad. And so when you’re drinking, you’re much less inhibited and everyone’s just kind of throwing ideas into the room and everyone’s a lot more free.

So I think that’s why in creative fields people do go to it because you are putting yourself in a really vulnerable position when it comes to music because it has to be in the room basically. And I think that’s quite a specific example. But it’s great as well because now I’m, you know, I’m the kind of person that I will sing on the train. I have no embarrassment factor at all. Yeah, there’s upsides, upsides.

Rachel: But I think it is one of those things, so how do I learn how to be vulnerable and show my really raw ideas and show my really raw self, my unvarnished self and just say, “Okay, hi, this is me. This is who I am and is that okay and are you going to accept me? And am I going to fit in here? And are people going to like this?” It’s like how do we learn how to show up? And I love that, you know, I love how you talked about yeah, part of it is just learning that discomfort is okay. And it’s not something that I need to run from.

Pippa: Yeah. But we think that we do. We really want things to be easy. And that’s another thing I really took from your podcast is noticing in my life, I really want this to be easy. And then going, “Well, why would it be easy? You haven’t done this thing for nine years. And you expect to just do it again and find it easy. You haven’t spoken Italian since you lived in Italy 15 years ago. Funnily enough it’s not going to come to you.” So I think yeah, the discomfort thing is a real eye-opener and it’s definitely something that I try to embrace more now but I’m still working on it.

Rachel: Yeah. I mean you and me both. And I think that’s the other thing when you talk about, you were kind of, initially like, “Okay, let’s get the fix here.” And it’s become more of a journey for you. I still feel like I’m on the exact same journey. Everything that I teach about when it comes to how do I allow that urge? Alright, I might not have urges around alcohol but I sure as hell have urges around a lot of other things. And so it’s like, how do I apply these skills? And how do I keep moving towards discomfort when I want to hide? And how do I keep being vulnerable and showing up?

And also just having a lot of fun and having a lot of pleasure because ultimately that’s what I want. And that’s what I want for everyone. It’s so funny, I think that’s why I’ve often not connected with the word ‘sober’ because for me it’s like…

Pippa: It doesn’t sound fun, does it?

Rachel: It doesn’t sound fun, and I want to have a lot of fun. I want to feel like I am not embarrassed ever or that I can just dance like a crazy person. And I don’t need to have a buzz in order to do it. And I think that’s the thing ultimately. The more that I want to create more pleasure in my life the more I often have to meet my vulnerable self.

Pippa: Yeah, 100%. And I’ve been having so many great chats with friends and family over the four years and obviously everybody is different. And you said something really pertinent about, “Don’t try and convert people, or don’t try and preach.” But still the thing about people believing that you have to have it to have fun or that you can’t loosen up. And now I call that out. I’m like, “That is just not true. Whatever your relationship with alcohol you just need to know that that’s not true.”

And learning to have fun without it, it’s been one of the best things because it is so liberating. It’s so, so liberating. And it’s so simple as well. But I remember the first, you know, in the four years, holiday, I went on a ski holiday and didn’t drink, which I was petrified about doing. And it was challenging. And I was so happy at the end of it. And I remember looking back and going, “This was one of the best ski holidays. This was so much better.” And I’m sure not drinking had to do with it.

Then I went to a wedding, all these things, like you say, dating, you do all these things for the first time and you’re convinced that they’re going to be awful. And they are difficult for the first time. But they’re actually better and that really blew my mind a little bit.

Rachel: Yeah. And I think that you come away – I know so many times in my life, I have come away and I just, I feel so proud of myself. I feel so exhilarated because what’s happening is you’re proving your brain wrong. Your brain really wants you to believe you’re not going to be able to do this. It’s not going to be as fun. It’s going to be too awkward. It’s going to be too uncomfortable. And it doesn’t matter if it’s in the realm of alcohol, or the realm of food, or the realm of anything. Whenever you prove your brain wrong it’s so amazing.

And you’ll be like, “I guess I don’t need to listen to you all the time.” You might not be the gospel here.

Pippa: I just always believed my thoughts. And I mean the other one that was the huge one for me was I would drink to get through my to do list. I work from home and there’s always stuff to do. And because my life is less structured, sometimes I won’t have much going on, on a Tuesday but I’ll work through the weekend. There’s very little routine. So putting on those kind of borders for, okay, we’re stopping work now and the evening is starting very rarely happens.

So I just would keep working into the evening and get stressed out because I was probably behind or whatever. And I just felt like I had to have a drink and I would keep working through it. And of course my work wasn’t that brilliant by the time it got late into the night and I’d had a few drinks. But I absolutely believed that was the only way I was going to get through this huge list of things. And there’s no way I could have done it without because it was such a stressful list and this perpetuating cycle really kept me stuck for a very, very long time. Yeah, that was illuminating, definitely.

Rachel: Yeah. I think the number of people that I talk to that just say, “It’s not always about unwinding at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s about keeping pushing.”

Pippa: Yeah, for me that’s 100% what it is, yeah, definitely.

Rachel: Yeah, and it’s like I actually am really tired, I’m really exhausted but this to do list is taking over me. And if I open up the bottle of wine it’s going to be easier for me to push through. And again this is why it’s not cookie-cutter because someone will listen and say, “No, I use it to relax and that’s when I can put my feet up.” And someone else will say, “No, I’ve got this to do list going on and I’m go, go, go.” So you have to understand how it really works in your unique situation.

Pippa: Yeah, it’s really personal, isn’t it? Yeah.

Rachel: I want to talk about the songwriting piece for a second because one of the things that I talk about a lot is the think, feel, act cycle and writing it down, and getting words on paper, and how important it is to see your thoughts. And that doesn’t really work for you. And so I wanted to talk about that for a second and talk about how we can use this work and find ways that just resonate with us and feel good for us. So tell us a little bit about that.

Pippa: Yeah. So I’m actually visually impaired. So I can see but not as well as the average person. So it’s just that tiny little bit more challenging for me to write things down, it takes a little bit longer. I have a huge, big screen at home but when I’m out and about I have to look at my phone quite closely. And I remember even we talked a couple of years ago just telling you how much I was really struggling with doing the models. And that’s probably just because I was struggling anyway. I’m not blaming it on my bad eyesight. But it was just another kind of like, got to get the phone out, it’s quite small.

And where did I put the attachment in the email with the thing? And because yeah, my sight is hindered, and my work colleagues have said that I have a really good musical ear in terms of I can hear something, and I can play it. And I developed that at a very early age partly because I couldn’t read music very well. So they often say when one sense is dampened a bit, something else comes up a bit. And I think that definitely happened with my musical ear. So I use my ear to pick up messages and embed kind of hooks and things like that.

So for your messages and your kind of podcasts I would sometimes just in my head make a little hook. And I think there’s another one, I’ve actually got think, feel, act. And sometimes it does literally – I’ll do that one for you another time. And it sometimes literally pops into my head. And that’s why I wrote this song about depravation because that’s the one that both you and Reece have identified as why are you so afraid of depravation.

That’s the one I’m working on is my relationship with depravation because it just really stresses me out when I feel it. Because I feel I ought to be in a place after four years where I really shouldn’t be feeling this by now. So I wrote a little song about it just to welcome in depravation. But yeah, I suppose it’s saying that people are different. For me I need to hear things to kind of remember things and log things. I struggle a bit more to write things down and journal and things like that because looking at the page is that bit harder. So yeah, it’s a bit different.

Rachel: Yeah. No, I mean I will tell you. I remember very early on when I was still working with people one-on-one. I was working with a woman and she drew a picture of the urge. And that was for her like drawing what she thought the urge looked like. That was a really powerful thing, but I mean just I think goes to show you that you just find the way that it works for you, if it’s art, if it’s song, if it’s journaling, if it’s something else, if it’s movement. But just there’s so many ways into this work.

You don’t need to be limited because I think a lot of people will say, “I don’t like writing things down or I’ve never been big at journaling.” And so it’s just find the way for you to connect with, okay, so how do I want to handle an urge? Do I want to think of it? I remember she drew it almost as this kind of – I don’t know if you know what an ugly doll is. But they are these kind of funny looking stuffed animals. But she drew it a little bit like; it was like this little furry funny looking stuffed animal. It was like that’s not that big of a deal when I think of the urge that way.

So if it’s visual, if it’s through your hearing, if it’s through the written word, there’s just so many ways that you can connect with this work.

Pippa: Yeah. And I’ve listened to your – your meditations are for me the number one thing if I’m needing to allow an urge and I am in a place where I can put my earphones in quickly. Because again I can close my eyes and just listen to your voice, your lovely voice. And it’s so much more effective than me trying to find a paragraph of kind of talk that I might have written down earlier. So yeah, I think you’ve got to find your own whatever works for you basically.

Rachel: Yeah. So the last thing that I wanted to talk about, I know you’re inside Take A Break right now, so you participate in the live calls. And so you see other people that are talking about this. And I’m just curious to hear from you what is that like to watch other people get coached and just to take part? I think that’s a very big intimidation factor for a lot of people. And it’s like well, I just need to deal with this on my own. I don’t want to talk about it or share it. What has that been like for you?

Pippa: It’s so important, so, so important. I mean I definitely for the first few or two, didn’t discuss this with anybody ever. And you’ve created a community basically with those live coaching calls. And as soon as you hear other people saying something that you might have thought the same day. All of that judgment comes away and you’re like, “No, there are other people that struggle with this.” And I really resonated with when you would say on some of your shows, “It’s just me.”

And I certainly have that with weight as well, why am I having to spend so much time and effort thinking about my food planning and my exercise when everyone else around is me just naturally skinny, and healthy, and seems to do it easily? Now, I’m sure that’s not the case but my brain is, “God.” So it’s really brilliant. And often people do mention something that is exactly what you’re going through. And often it’s as you say completely the opposite. And that’s really liberating too because it’s like no, everyone has their own thing.

I don’t struggle with chocolate or sugar at all, and I had a big weight problem. For me it was bread, and pizza, and spaghetti. And other people were saying, “No, it’s all about the sugar. You’ve got to do this.” So it just goes to show that everyone is really different. And actually now I’ve just made a really great friend in the UK who’s in a pretty similar place with her drinking to me, and I’ve just introduced her to you by the way, she loves it. And I was like, “This is so important because we can talk about all of this stuff judgment free.”

And I do talk about it with my family and friends, but I don’t necessarily want to tell them everything. Whereas with your life coaching calls, there’s that slight sense of anonymity whereby you can just be completely free with it and you know that no one’s going to judge you for it because we’re all here for the same reason. That’s really important, yeah.

Rachel: Yeah. The thing that always makes me laugh is I can’t even tell you the number of times that I will coach someone and then the next person will come on and she’ll be like, “That just answered my question.” But it will be a totally different scenario. But it’s just recognizing, I think there is something that really does dissolve away the shame. I told myself for so long, “You’re the only person that’s going through this. You’re the only person that can’t figure this out. Something is wrong with you.” And so I just had built up all this shame.

And it was so powerful for me to hear other people literally saying words that I thought only I think this or only I struggle with this. And that in and of itself helped wash away shame for me in a way that I don’t know any amount of thought work really could do it the same way.

Pippa: Yeah, and so for me it was the same thing because the shame thing was such a big one for me. That really needed to go, that really, really needed to come down. And now I’m part of lots of Facebook groups and I talk about it so much more openly.

And I have new relationships with some friends who are also wanting to cut back or quit. It just opens this whole new thing whereas definitely for such a long time I was in this place of you are such a failure and you might have a problem. But we won’t think about it too much because if we think about it too much then we’re going to have to address it and oh dear, that’s just going to be such a nightmare, so we won’t address it. And that kept me stuck for such a long time, so yeah.

Rachel: Yeah, I mean that’s why I really do, it’s why I think it’s so important to take the labels away from this and also to stop treating alcohol as if it is this kind of unique situation, that nothing else can apply. I think it’s actually very powerful to see wait a minute, why is my drinking and my eating, why does it look similar in ways? And that’s what so many people discover when they do the 30-day challenge. And they’re like, “I thought this was only alcohol and now I see that it can connect to overworking, it can connect to not letting go of your to do list.”

Things that you’d be like, “That has nothing to do with alcohol.” And to me that’s so freeing because then it’s like it’s all just one habit. And the habit is just not wanting to feel how we feel and looking for a way not to feel it, whether it is pour a glass of rosé or check everything off on my to do list and then believe that I’ll feel better.

Pippa: And like you say when you are in the program and you know you’re not drinking but you still have that frustration, or anxiety, or whatever. And then you do reach for something else and it’s interesting to go, “Am I wanting food at this moment or is it I’m watching a lot of romantic comedies all of sudden, or I’m lying in a lot.” And it’s making me aware of okay, so we’re still looking for something here. We’re needing relief in some way, what are we going towards? And it’s not always the same thing, often it is of course food but it’s not always the same.

And that makes me question the different scenarios and what to do in each separate situation. And you can’t get that until it has been a good few weeks off, I think, because it takes a while to kind of acclimatize.

Rachel: Yeah. That’s a good way to put it, acclimatize. Alright, Pippa, thank you so much, we’re going to play your song at the end. It’s amazing. I will tell you, my team…

Pippa: Happy to do a Take A Break album, Rachel, whenever you want.

Rachel: We were so excited when you sent it in because Pippa sent it in after getting coached on a live call.

Pippa: I was so excited by what you said I had to write it down.

Rachel: I know, but I think you sent it in minutes after the call or something, it was so quickly. I was like how did she put together a song this quickly? But we loved it and so I’m so happy that you’re letting us share it with everyone.

Pippa: No. I hope you get something from it. Thank you so much, Rachel.

Rachel: Thanks Pippa.

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August 7, 2023

You Must Take Breaks From Your Grief

Introduction

Grieving is a natural and necessary process when we experience loss, but it’s essential to remember that taking breaks from grief is equally crucial. 💔 In this blog post, we’ll explore why giving yourself permission to take breaks from grief is a healthy and necessary part of the healing journey.

Why Breaks Are Important

Grief can be all-consuming, affecting every aspect of our lives. Taking breaks doesn’t mean forgetting about our loss or dismissing our feelings; it means allowing ourselves moments of respite from the intensity of grief. 🌟

Breaks offer an opportunity to recharge emotionally, physically, and mentally. They give us the space to gain perspective, process our emotions, and return to grief with renewed strength. 💪

Permission to Feel Joy

During grief, it’s common to feel guilty for experiencing moments of happiness or joy. However, allowing ourselves to take breaks and enjoy life doesn’t diminish our love for the person we lost or the significance of our loss. It’s a natural part of the healing process. 😊💕

Taking breaks and allowing ourselves to laugh or find pleasure in small moments doesn’t mean we’re betraying our grief. It means honoring our loved ones by continuing to live our lives with moments of happiness amidst the sorrow. 🌈

The Importance of Self-Care

Grief can take a toll on our physical and emotional well-being. Taking breaks from grief allows us to focus on self-care, which is crucial for healing. Whether it’s going for a walk, engaging in a hobby, or spending time with loved ones, self-care helps us build resilience and cope with grief in healthier ways. 🌺💖

Breaking the Isolation

Grief can make us feel isolated and alone in our pain. Taking breaks allows us to connect with others and seek support. Sharing our feelings with someone who understands can be therapeutic and reassuring. 🤝🤗

During breaks, reaching out to friends, family, or support groups can remind us that we don’t have to navigate grief alone. Finding comfort in the company of others can help us feel understood and less isolated. 💛

Balancing Grief and Breaks

Balancing grief and taking breaks is an individual journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Listen to your emotional needs and give yourself the permission to take breaks when you need them. 🌼

Remember, grief doesn’t have a timeline, and healing takes time. Taking breaks from grief is an act of self-compassion and acknowledgment that healing is a process. It’s okay to have moments of respite from the pain. 🌞

Taking breaks from grief is an essential part of the healing process. It allows us to recharge, find moments of joy, practice self-care, and connect with others. Give yourself permission to take breaks and find a balance that works for you. Remember, healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take one step at a time. 💗🌟

https://linktr.ee/TheGriefSchool

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APA Reference Wozny, C. (2022, November 10). It's Okay to Take a Break from Therapy, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, April 27 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2022/11/its-okay-to-take-a-break-from-therapy

Author: Cheryl Wozny

Cheryl Wozny is a freelance writer and published author of several books, including mental health resources for children titled,  Why Is My Mommy So Sad?  and  Why is My Daddy So Sick?  Writing has become her way of healing and helping others. Find Cheryl on  Twitter ,  Instagram ,  Facebook , and  her blog . 

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