caribbean cruise out of miami

Best Cruises from Miami

Read Best Cruises Methodology

Find Cruises

Call to plan a cruise: 1-833-468-6732

with a cruise advisor

Celebrity Beyond

Launched in April 2022, Celebrity Beyond is the third ship in the cruise line's Edge Series, capable of holding up to 3,260 passengers and 1,400 crew members. On board, guests have their pick of 32 food and beverage venues serving everything from Greek to French to Italian cuisine; there are also several cocktail bars and lounges where guests can grab a drink.

One of the highlights of Celebrity Beyond is its 4,500-piece art collection, which includes works by travel photographers and international artists. There is also no shortage of unique entertainment options; these range from acrobatic shows to juggling mixologist performances. To enjoy stunning water views, enjoy Celebrity's "Magic Carpet," a large platform that hangs off the edge of the ship and moves from deck to deck.

Staterooms offer amenities like plush bathrobes, comfortable Cashmere mattresses and flat-screen TVs; many also come with private verandas. For a one-of-a-kind experience, splurge on a room in The Retreat. This resort-within-a-resort features villas and suites with added luxuries like plunge pools, hot tubs and butlers. Plus, guests of The Retreat have exclusive access to a private sundeck, restaurant and lounge, along with an onboard credit that can be used however you see fit.

Celebrity Beyond sails to a variety of popular Mediterranean and Caribbean destinations, including the French Riviera, Italy, Mexico and more. 

U.S. News Insider Tip: On Celebrity Beyond, if you're lucky, your drink might be poured by Captain Kate McCue herself during the nightly flair bartender show at the Grand Plaza Martini Bar. Make sure to follow her behind-the-scenes adventures on Instagram. – Skye Sherman, Contributor

Seven Seas Splendor

Debuted in September 2021, the 746-passenger, 548-crew member Seven Seas Splendor is the newest ship within the Regent fleet. Seven Seas Splendor – along with most of the line's other ships – takes opulence to the next level by equipping each suite with its own private balcony. Other standard in-room amenities include interactive flat-screen TVs, luxurious bath products, bathrobes and slippers, signature queen-size beds and dining tables for two. There are 10 suite categories available, ranging from the smallest Veranda (307 square feet) and Deluxe Veranda suites (308 to 361 square feet) to the largest Regent (4,443 square feet) and Master suites (1,895 to 2,108 square feet). 

Guests have a wide array of things to do while on board. Spend your days relaxing at the spa, playing paddle tennis or bocce ball, working up a sweat on the jogging track or taking a dip in the ship's two whirlpools and two pools, one of which is an infinity-edge pool that stretches along the edge of the ship, providing swimmers with exceptional views of the ocean. At night, enjoy one of five shows at the onboard theater. 

When it comes to food, Seven Seas Splendor offers eight eateries ranging from casual to fine dining. Enjoy your breakfast alfresco at La Veranda and grub down for lunch at the Pool Grill buffet. For something more formal, opt for a French-inspired meal at Chartreuse, Pan-Asian dishes at Pacific Rim or Compass Rose, the largest restaurant on the ship.

Seven Seas Splendor visits a variety of European and Mediterranean destinations, as well as ports across Europe, the Caribbean, Africa and South America.

Resilient Lady

An adults-only, LGBTQ-friendly cruise ship, Resilient Lady has a capacity of 2,770 passengers and 1,150 crew members. Since setting sail in May 2023, Virgin Voyages' third ship has received praise among travelers for its exceptional dining scene and exciting entertainment options. With onboard experiences ranging from acrobatic performances to comedy shows to themed parties, Resilient Lady is best for travelers who are seeking an upbeat and social atmosphere.  

When you've worked up an appetite from your activity-filled day, grab a bite at one of the ship's 20-plus eateries, which serve everything from Mexican to Asian to Italian fare. Although all food is included, reservations are still required at many restaurants. There is also no shortage of bars to choose from, whether you want to sample The Loose Cannon's signature cocktails or sip some bubbly in the Champagne lounge.

Standard Insider rooms range from 105 to 177 square feet. All accommodations come equipped with comforts like flat-screen TVs, rain showers, mood lighting and convertible Seabeds. For more room, opt for one of the ship's RockStar Quarters. These upgraded suites feature extras like a terrace with a hammock, European king-size mattresses and spacious marble bathrooms.

Resilient Lady sails to a variety of destinations in Europe and the South Pacific, including top destinations such as Athens, Greece ; Sydney ; and Dubrovnik, Croatia .

U.S. News Insider Tip:  The Wake boasts the most ambiance of all eateries on Virgin Voyages vessels by far, so make sure to lock in reservations when you can. This upscale restaurant offers prime entrees with plenty of upgrade options for those who want to splurge. This establishment also features huge windows that provide incredible views of the ocean from the back of the ship. –  Holly Johnson, Contributor

Debuted in May 2023, Oceania Cruises' first new ship in more than a decade can hold up to 1,200 passengers and 800 crew members. Vista is the inaugural ship in Oceania's Allura Class, featuring top-of-the-line amenities like a culinary center, an artist loft and an extensive library, along with facilities like a pool, a casino, a spa and a fitness center. Additionally, Vista offers enrichment opportunities like destination-focused seminars led by guest speakers and dynamic musical performances.

One of the highlights of Oceania Vista is its wide array of dining venues, from specialty restaurants like Ember (American fare) and Toscana (Italian cuisine) to the poolside Waves Grill and daily afternoon tea service. In the evening, guests can grab a drink at their choice of several bars and lounges; Vista's immersive mixology program utilizes innovative techniques and trends to create an elevated cocktail experience.

Vista's well-appointed staterooms – which range from 240 to 2,400 square feet – boast balconies, queen-size beds, rainforest showers, flat-screen TVs and 24-hour room service, among other amenities. If you splurge for a suite, you'll enjoy added benefits like iPads, cashmere blankets, complimentary laundry and shoeshine services, access to the Executive Lounge and butler service.

Oceania Vista explores an array of popular destinations in the U.S., the Caribbean, Mexico, the Mediterranean and more.

U.S. News Insider Tip:  The design of the Vista creates more expansive and contemporary public areas than other ships in Oceania's fleet, so even when the ship is at full capacity, it never feels crowded. Also, since it is an all-veranda ship, all guests have the same great ocean view. – Julie L. Kessler, Contributor

Symphony of the Seas

The 6,680-passenger, 2,200-crew-member Symphony of the Seas set sail in 2018 and features 18 decks packed with activities.

For heart-pounding fun, travelers will find a surf simulator, an indoor ice skating rink, two 40-foot rock walls, a zip line and a 10-story slide. Meanwhile, relaxation seekers can unwind in the spa, sip cocktails made by robotic bartenders or stroll through the Central Park -inspired neighborhood.

Onboard snacks and meals are served at 20 quick-service and sit-down eateries. The Main Dining Room is where the ship's traditional, complimentary dinners are provided nightly, but specialty options like a steakhouse, a bistro and a Johnny Rockets outpost are also available. What's more, cruisers can dine at Jamie's Italian, a restaurant helmed by celebrity chef Jamie Oliver.

After filling up on gourmet fare, passengers can retreat to their cabins, all of which include work desks, flat-screen TVs and minibars. Guests can choose from 149-square-foot Interior Staterooms, some of which have virtual balconies with real-time views of the ocean, or opt for upgraded cabins with furnished balconies and up to 1,524 square feet of space. Select suites also feature two bedrooms, whirlpool tubs and dining rooms.

Symphony of the Seas departs from Cape Liberty, New Jersey, Miami , Fort Lauderdale, Rome and Barcelona for sailings throughout the Caribbean and Europe.

U.S. News Insider Tip: If you’re on one of the 19 Royal Caribbean ships that have a FlowRider, like Symphony of the Seas (which has two!), reserve a private lesson with a pro. For a small fee, you'll save yourself some embarrassment and get more ride time. – Skye Sherman, Contributor

Scarlet Lady

The first ship within the Virgin Voyages fleet, the adults-only Scarlet Lady welcomes more than 2,770 passengers and 1,160 crew members. Debuted in October 2021, the Scarlet Lady boasts a collection of unique amenities not often found on cruise ships, including a tattoo studio, a record shop and a blow-dry bar. And instead of a buffet or a dining hall, the Scarlet Lady offers a collection of more than 20 specialty restaurants, all covered by the cruise fare. Standouts include Extra Virgin, a traditional Italian restaurant serving handmade pasta, and Gunbae, a Korean barbecue eatery.

The Scarlet Lady also deviates from cruise industry tradition when it comes to onboard entertainment. Instead of Broadway classics, cruisers will be treated to six original shows, along with "micro plays" that are performed throughout the ship.

Cabin sizes range from 105 to 177 square feet for the Insider rooms to nearly 2,150 square feet for the RockStar Quarters suites. The latter are outfitted with marble bathrooms and serviced by RockStar Agents who are available to assist guests 24/7. All accommodations feature mood lighting, minibars, free Wi-Fi and adjustable Seabeds, which allow travelers to transform their beds into couches when they want to entertain.

The Scarlet Lady sails to destinations in the Caribbean, like the Bahamas , from Miami .

U.S. News Insider Tip:  Use the app to book dinner reservations as far out from your sailing as you can, or 45 days out for most sailors. If you wait until closer to time or until you're on board, you will likely find that the most popular restaurants and dining times are all booked up. –  Holly Johnson, Contributor

Wonder of the Seas

Wonder of the Seas, which embarked on its maiden voyage in March 2022, holds 7,084 passengers and 2,204 crew members. The ship measures 1,188 feet long and 215 feet wide, and it weighs 235,600 gross tons. It surpasses its sister ship, Symphony of the Seas , as one of the largest cruise ships in the world.  

Guests can enjoy plenty of thrill activities on board, such as the Ultimate Abyss – a 10-story dark tunnel slide – or the 40-foot-long FlowRider surf stimulator. The ship also offers a fitness center, shopping venues, rock climbing, a carousel and clubs for kids and teens. When it's time to dine, cruisers have the option of 21 dining venues ranging from Italian fare to Southern cuisine. Travelers can also indulge in a few cocktails at 14 bars and lounges.

Accommodations include Interior, Ocean View, Balcony and Suite staterooms. If you're looking for something more spacious, check out the ship's all-new Suite Neighborhood. Located on the upper decks, these suites offer guests ample private quarters to recharge during the cruise. Amenities included in the exclusive suites include priority boarding, a members-only dining facility and a dedicated check-in line. For families, the new neighborhood may be of particular interest because it features the Ultimate Family Suite. The family suite offers two floors of space with stunning ocean views, in-suite movies and video games and a kids slide between the floors.  

Wonder of the Seas sails from Orlando , Florida, to ports in the Caribbean.

Allure of the Seas

The 6,826-passenger Allure of the Seas, unveiled in 2010, is among the largest cruise ships in the world. There are a whopping 2,054 crew members on board to cater to passengers' needs. Along with signature line amenities like rock climbing walls and ice skating rinks, the ship houses seven unique neighborhoods with a variety of activities, shows and dining options. The ship underwent a $165 million refurbishment in 2020, which added approximately 50 new staterooms, the Ultimate Abyss (the tallest slide at sea), redesigned kids and teens spaces, new dining venues and more.

Other standout features include a zip line that descends 10 decks, two surf simulators and a science lab. Plus, with 19 dining options – and a Starbucks at sea – every member of the family will be satisfied.

In terms of lodging, about 65% of cabins feature balconies, and all staterooms are appointed with TVs and minifridges. Interior staterooms are the most economical option, but those who splurge on Suites are granted larger balconies and concierge service. Crowd-free areas might be difficult to find due to the outrageous capacity of the ship, but some recent cruisers praise the nonstop activity and entertainment. 

Allure of the Seas departs from Miami, Orlando, Florida, and Galveston , Texas, for sailings in the Caribbean.

Seabourn Quest

Seabourn Quest, which launched in June 2011, is one of the smallest ships in Seabourn's fleet. It can fit up to 458 passengers and about one crew member for every cruiser. It is virtually identical to the Seabourn Sojourn and Seabourn Odyssey .

Seabourn Quest differs from the line's newer ships in terms of accommodations, as it offers some Ocean View Suites with porthole windows instead of verandas. However, all cabins still come equipped with amenities like flat-screen TVs, designer toiletries, personalized stationery, Egyptian cotton linens and in-suite bars stocked with your preferred refreshments.

Outside your suite, you can enjoy a range of pursuits, such as spa and salon treatments, free fitness classes, a nine-hole putting green and two swimming pools. Additionally, Seabourn Quest offers complimentary water sports equipment rentals at its Watersports Marina in select destinations.

Once you've worked up an appetite, sit for a meal at one of the ship's four restaurants, including the main dining room and The Grill, a steakhouse helmed by Michelin-starred chef Thomas Keller. And for evening entertainment, you'll have access to a variety of bars, plus a casino, a dance club and the Grand Salon, where cabaret performances, comedy shows and more are hosted nightly.

Quest sails to and from destinations around the Caribbean, Mediterranean, Northern Europe and more.

U.S. News Insider Tip: The aft pool on Deck 5 is a hidden gem, often overlooked by most passengers who tend to gather at the main pool. – Dana Freeman, Contributor

Seven Seas Navigator

Carrying only 496 passengers, Seven Seas Navigator offers guests an intimate setting, with all-suite accommodations outfitted with marble bathrooms, private balconies and free Wi-Fi throughout the voyage.

Thanks to a major refurbishment in 2019 (the ship originally launched in 1999), the ship features updated staterooms and refreshed public spaces and restaurants. Passengers can choose from six dining venues, including a specialty steakhouse and the causal Pool Grill.

During days at sea, guests can unwind at the expansive pool deck, play card games or mingle with fellow shipmates at the Pool Bar. In the evenings, cruisers can sip cocktails at one of three onboard lounges or take in a live show.

Like other ships in the fleet, Seven Seas Navigator prides itself on providing a high-caliber service and maintains a nearly 1-to-1 passenger-to-crew ratio, with 365 crew members. Guests praise the "Regent Experience," which includes specialty dining and shore excursions in the cruise fare.

Seven Seas Navigator offers a variety of sailings throughout Miami , the Caribbean, South America, Australia, Europe and more.

Disclaimers about ship ratings: A ship’s Health Rating is based on vessel inspection scores published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). If a ship did not receive a CDC score within 22 months prior to the calculation of its Overall Rating, its Health Rating appears as N/A; in such a case, the ship’s Overall Rating is calculated using the average Health Rating of all CDC-rated ships within the cruise line. All ship Traveler Ratings are based on ratings provided under license by Cruiseline.com.

If you make a purchase from our site, we may earn a commission. This does not affect the quality or independence of our editorial content.

• Need help? 1-888-751-7804 1-888-751-7804
• Let Us Call You CALL ME
• Drink Packages
• Flights by Celebrity℠
• Hotels by Celebrity
• Manage Reservation
• Shore Excursions
• Upgrade with MoveUp

• My Tier and Points
• Join Captain's Club

Already booked? Sign in or create an account

• South Korea
• New Zealand
• Grand Cayman
• St. Maarten
• U.S Virgin Islands
• New England & Canada
• Pacific Coast
• Antarctic Ocean
• Panama Canal
• Transatlantic
• Transpacific
• Cruise Ports (+300)
• Mediterranean
• Perfect Day at CocoCay
• All Inclusive
• Bucket List Cruises
• Cruise & Land Package
• Groups & Events
• New Cruises
• Popular Cruises
• Specialty Cruises
• Destination Highlights
• Group Excursions
• Private Journeys
• Shore Excursions Overview
• Small Group Discoveries

• 360° Virtual Tours
• Celebrity Apex®
• Celebrity Ascent℠ NEW
• Celebrity Beyond℠
• Celebrity Constellation®
• Celebrity Edge®
• Celebrity Eclipse®
• Celebrity Equinox®
• Celebrity Infinity®
• Celebrity Millennium®
• Celebrity Reflection®

Celebrity Silhouette®

• Celebrity Solstice®

Celebrity Summit®

• Celebrity Xcel℠ COMING SOON
• Explore Edge Series

Galapagos Expedition Series

• Celebrity Flora®
• Celebrity Xpedition®
• Celebrity Xploration®
• The Retreat
• All Suites. All Included
• Iconic Suite
• Penthouse Suite
• Reflection Suite
• Royal Suite
• Signature Suite
• Celebrity Suite
• Aqua Sky Suite
• Horizon Suite
• Sunset Suite
• Concierge Class
• Galapagos Accommodations
• Eat & Drink
• Entertainment
• Spa & Wellness

• Cruising 101
• Cruise Fare Options
• Cruise Tips
• First Time on a Cruise
• What is Included on a Cruise
• Future Cruise Vacations
• Accessible Cruising
• Captain's Club Rewards
• Cruise Insurance
• Flights by Celebrity
• Healthy at Sea
• Manage Cruise
• The Celebrity Store
• Travel Documents
• Royal Caribbean International
• Celebrity Cruises

• 75% Off 2nd Guest + Bonus Savings
• 3rd and 4th Guests Sail Free
• Galapagos 20% Savings + Free Flights
• Resident Rates
• Exciting Deals
• View All Offers
• All Included
• Cruise & Land Packages
• Dining Packages
• Photo Packages
• Wi-Fi Packages
• View All Packages
• Captain's Club Overview
• Join the Club
• Loyalty Exclusive Offers
• Tiers & Benefits
• Celebrity Cruises Visa Signature® Card

Enjoy 75% off your second guest’s cruise fare and get bonus savings of up to $200. Plus, additional guests in your stateroom sail free on select sailings.

Cruises From Miami, Florida

Tabs view miami cruises.

• Miami Port Guide

Miami Shore Excursions

• Bahamas Cruises
• View Miami Cruises

Miami Florida Port Guide

With its beautiful beaches, pulsating nightlife, and culture-filled neighborhoods, Miami is one of the most popular destinations in the United States. Visitors from all over the world flock here to enjoy its Art Deco buildings and romantic palm tree-lined streets filled with fantastic restaurants before embarking on cruises from Miami.

Known as the cruise capital of the world, Miami’s convenient location and year-round beach weather make it the perfect jumping-off point for a tropical vacation. Whether it’s a short cruise to the Bahamas or a longer sailing around the islands of the Caribbean, Miami is an exciting departure port for an unforgettable cruise.

Itineraries

View all cruises from miami, amazing experiences coming soon.

Please, come back later to show you what we have available

Top Destinations on Cruises from Miami

Tropical bliss awaits in the Bahamas, where you’ll spend a day lounging on powdery white sand and dipping in warm turquoise waters. Sample some of the best rum in the world, feast on the freshest of seafood, or go snorkeling in the Caribbean Sea, where you’ll see colorful schools of fish and sea turtles.

In Nassau, relax under a palm tree at Cable Beach, or spend a fun-filled family day at the Atlantis Resort, where you’ll find water slides, lazy rivers, and a stunning aquarium filled with exotic underwater species.

Discover ancient ruins and pristine beaches on cruises from Miami to Costa Maya and Cozumel. See Costa Maya’s natural wonders, like the Seven Colors Lagoon and the Mesoamerican Barrier Reef. On the island of Cozumel, melt your worries away at heavenly beaches like El Cielo and Playa Palancar. Swim with dolphins, or head to the mainland to explore the fascinating ruins of Chichen Itza.

Key West, Florida

Embrace the kitsch of Key West, a quirky coastal town in Florida with a fun, laidback attitude and excellent snorkeling opportunities. Paddle around its mangroves on a kayak, dive into its coral reefs rich with marine life, and finish off your day in the sun with a refreshing slice of the city’s famous key lime pie.

Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

Walk around Puerto Plata’s bustling Malecón boardwalk, which is full of restaurants, bars, and friendly street vendors. Take pictures in front of colorful colonial buildings located in the town’s historic districts. Ride a cable car—the only one in all of the Dominican Republic—up to the top of Mount Isabel de Torres and enjoy unrivaled views of this charming port city.

Our Ships Sailing Out of Miami

Why sail from miami with celebrity cruises®.

Cruise to the Caribbean aboard Celebrity Silhouette or Celebrity Summit, luxurious ships where you’ll enjoy impeccable service and endless entertainment. Savor world-class cuisine in our onboard restaurants, enjoy exhilarating performances at our state-of-the-art theater, and rest and recharge at The Spa.  Spend your days lounging under the sun, snorkeling in crystal-clear water teeming with fish, and exploring historic architecture and forts. After a busy day in port, unwind in luxuriously appointed accommodations or visit one of the exciting bars or lounges onboard, where you can dance the night away. During a Miami cruise aboard Celebrity Silhouette or Celebrity Summit, you won’t have to lift a finger—just sit back and enjoy the trip of a lifetime.

View All Cruises from Miami, Florida

Miami port facilities and location.

The state-of-the-art terminal at the Port of Miami is designed to quickly move people through check-in and onto the ship. The port is located less than 10 miles from Miami International Airport. Taxi services, rideshares, shuttles, and limousine services are available to take you to the cruise port. If you’re driving to the Miami cruise terminal, long-term parking is available. You’ll also find taxis waiting outside each terminal as well as car rental agencies. To get between the port and the main attractions of Miami, such as South Beach, you’ll need to arrange transportation or take a local bus. To make it easy for you, you can book shore excursions the day you disembark from your cruise that take you from the port to some of Miami’s top sites, like the Everglades National Park and the Art Deco District, and then to the airport.

Train to Port on Brightline

Why stress about traffic and parking? With Brightline’s convenient train service, you’ll arrive at the cruise port relaxed and ready for your adventure. It’s the smoothest way to transition from city to sea. Brightline is far from your ordinary train ride. Enjoy comfortable seating, complimentary Wi-Fi, a variety of food and beverage options, and friendly service. All designed to make your trip as pleasurable as your cruise.

Opt for Brightline+ services, designed to take you from train to cruise ship—or vice versa—with zero hassle. Secure your transit arrangements in advance and set the stage for a relaxed, carefree voyage from the moment you step aboard our train.

And for our PREMIUM guests, relish in the added luxury of a complimentary Private Ride powered by Uber within a 5-mile radius of any South Florida Brightline station, making your entire vacation smooth sailing.

Top Sights & Attractions for Cruises From Miami

Art deco historic district.

To see some of the finest Art Deco architecture in the city, head to the Art Deco District in South Beach, which was constructed in the 1930s. It features over 800 buildings of different designs with creative geometric motifs, making it the largest grouping of Art Deco architecture in the world. These historically significant buildings are the perfect backdrop for your Instagram feed.

South Beach Nightlife

To truly experience the culture of Miami, you should explore the city at night. Many of Miami’s most popular nightclubs are in South Beach, located on the tip of Miami Beach. The white-sand coastline provides a gorgeous setting for the hip clubs, restaurants, and hotels that have made Miami one of the hottest nightclub areas in the world. 

Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park

If you’re a beach lover, head to Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park. It’s located on Key Biscayne and has some of America’s most beautiful beaches, along with hiking trails that lead to views of Miami’s downtown skyline. A big draw for travelers to the park is the historic lighthouse, where you can take a tour with a guide on select days of the week.

Little Havana

Little Havana is the epicenter of Cuban culture in Miami. A walk down Calle Ocho will give you a good taste of all that Little Havana has to offer, from cuisine to bars and souvenirs. Visit El Credito Cigar Factory, where you can see how they roll cigars in Cuba. If you really want to experience the Latin culture in Little Havana, time your cruise from Miami so you can be in Miami before or after your sailing on the last Friday of the month. On this day each month, a street party is held in Little Havana called Viernes Cultural that features an array of music performers, dancers, Cuban cuisine, and theater performances.

Learn More About Miami Shore Excursions

Top things to do in miami, explore everglades national park.

Miami is located close to Everglades National Park, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. The best way to fully comprehend the rich nature and wildlife of the Everglades is to take an airboat tour with a knowledgeable guide who will tell you about the history of the Everglades and point out its most popular feature: the many alligators that call it home. When the guide starts telling you about some of the stories surrounding these prehistoric looking creatures, we won’t blame you if you scoot a little bit farther from the edge of the boat.

Walk Around Vizcaya Museum & Gardens

Due to its wet, humid climate, gardens in Miami are able to prosper into lush, beautiful landscapes. One of the highlights of the Miami garden scene is the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens, where you’ll find an Italian-style mansion surrounded by manicured gardens adorned with lovely sculptures and a view of sparkling Biscayne Bay. 

See Animals at Zoo Miami

A popular attraction in Miami for families is Zoo Miami, where you can see over 3,000 animal species. Kids have a chance to feed giraffes, rhinos, and camels, as well as play in the splash pads. Rent a Safari Cycle to navigate the expansive grounds of the zoo.

Pretend You’re Under the Sea at Miami Seaquarium

Miami Seaquarium is another fun outing in Miami that is centered around animals, only here you’ll see ocean mammals. The Seaquarium features a variety of species, including bottlenose dolphins, crocodiles, and sea lions. Children will love the fact that there’s an onsite play structure (the Salty’s Pirate Playground) and a touch pool where they can feel the silky skin of stingrays. Visitors of all ages will be wowed by the Sea Trek Reef Encounter, an underwater walking path through the aquarium. 

What should I eat in Miami?

Miami’s food scene is a fusion of international flavors, but you’ll find a particular Latin flair going through many of the dishes. While in Miami, there are some dishes that stand out from the rest, and five you should try are:

Arepas: This popular South American food item is also popular in Miami. It infuses cheese into a flattened, folded pastry, which is then cooked until the dough turns golden.

Ceviche: With the close proximity to the sea, you can find a variety of ceviche in Miami, which typically mixes cold seafood with any number of ingredients from fruit to salsa.

Chicharrones: If you’re a meat-lover, you can’t miss trying chicharrones in Miami, which are pork skins that are deep-fried and have a salty aftertaste.

Florida Stone Crab: If you’re visiting between October and March, try the local seafood delicacy of stone crab, served chilled on ice. The meat of the stone crab claw is known for its tenderness and hint of sweetness.

Cuban Sandwich: This iconic Miami dish is a sandwich made with Cuban bread. In between the slices of bread, you’ll find a pile of delicious ingredients like roasted pork, baked ham, gooey Swiss cheese, dill pickles, and yellow mustard.

When it comes to drinks, you’ll likely be able to find your favorite libation at one of the many bars and nightclubs lining the streets of Miami Beach. However, if you want to try a local specialty, look for a mojito or a Miami Vice.

What is the culture and history of Miami?

The culture of Miami has been largely influenced by the influx of immigrants to the city over the past 80 years, giving it an intriguing multicultural scene that extends to the arts, music, beach, and nightlife. You can find Latin flair throughout the city before departing on one of our cruises from Miami, along with a distinctly Caribbean vibe, especially when you’re in the Little Havana and Little Haiti areas of the city. Beach bars intermingle with nightclubs, and the laidback lifestyle mixed with the ritzy nightclubs that attract the rich and famous from all around the world create an interesting dichotomy.

Where can I go shopping near the Miami cruise port?

It’s not hard to find places to shop in Miami, but if there’s a particular type of shop you’re after, certain areas of the city are best. The Design District of Miami is known for its art galleries and high-end boutiques.

For clothing, you’ll find designer boutiques at Bal Harbor, and more clothing stores along Collins Avenue or Lincoln Road in Miami Beach. You’ll also find some shopping with an international flair in Little Havana or along historic Española Way in Miami Beach. 

For jewelry and local crafts plus more fashion and trinkets, the Miami Fair Trade Marketplace is a great place to shop both for the variety and because you can be assured that souvenirs were made in fair and safe working conditions.

For a fun shopping mall experience with a quintessential Miami vibe, head to Bayside Marketplace. This mall has open-air walkways leading to over 100 shops. At this mall, you’ll also find restaurants and bars, street performers and live music, and even a launchpad for boat tours along the Miami coastline.

Bargain shoppers who love a great deal on luxury finds will enjoy a day of shopping at Dolphin Mall, which is an outlet mall located close to Miami International Airport.

How can I get around Miami?

Public Transport

You have four main options for public transportation in Miami: the Metrobus, the Metrorail, the Metromover, and the trolley. The Metrobus is a bus system that runs all around the Greater Miami area, and the Metrorail runs from the north to the south end of Miami with stops in downtown.

The free Metromover covers downtown Miami and Brickell. It is a fully automated shuttle that runs on electricity. The Metromover also connects with the Metrorail and Metrobus at downtown stations. For traveling around Miami and Miami Beach, trolleys offer free services with many routes available.

For private transportation, taxis and rideshares are popular ways to get around Miami. Make sure you’re hailing a licensed taxi, which should have written that it’s a taxi cab on the side of the car and display the license for the driver and the taxi’s rate card inside the vehicle.

Miami International Airport (MIA)

If you’re embarking on one of our cruises from Miami and you don’t live within driving distance to the port, there’s a good chance you’re flying into Miami International Airport (MIA). Upon landing, you can get local information at the airport, where you’ll also find a bank, post office, pharmacy, baggage storage, ATM, and car rental companies.

If you’re flying in the night before your cruise (which we recommend to accommodate for possible flight delays), check with your hotel if they offer a shuttle from the airport. Otherwise, you have plenty of other options, including a 24-hour Super Shuttle van service, taxis, and buses. If you’re going straight to the cruise port from MIA, you can take a taxi to the cruise terminal or take the cruise shuttle bus that you can purchase tickets for through Celebrity Cruises.

What are the local currency and tipping customs?

The currency accepted in Miami is the U.S. dollar, and you’ll be able to find ATMs dispensing U.S. dollars all over the city. Tipping is very common and expected in Miami, especially in restaurants, bars, and taxis. A common tip for restaurants, taxis, and most other services is 15% to 20% of the total amount.

Find Cruises From Florida's Miami Port

You might also like.

Caribbean Cruise

Cruises from Florida

3 Day Cruises

Cruises from Tampa

Bahamas Cruise

Last Minute Cruises from Tampa

Cruises to Bimini

Bahamas Cruise from Miami

Caribbean Cruise Deals

Weekend Cruises

Western Caribbean Cruise

Eastern Caribbean Cruise

Bachelorette Party Cruises

Florida Cruise Ships

Cruises from Florida to Bahamas

Transatlantic Cruise

Cruises from Fort Lauderdale

Last Minute Cruises from Miami

Last Minute Cruises from Florida

10-Day Caribbean Cruises

Previewing: Promo Dashboard Campaigns

Navigate 2024‘s 17 Best Cruises from Miami: Book Your Getaway

• Updated on March 5, 2024
• Tips and Tricks
• Florida , Miami

What You Will Learn (Click to Expand)

Set sail on a dream voyage from miami, discover the magic of cruising from the vibrant magic city.

Embark on a sea adventure that begins in the heart of vibrant Miami, where every cruise offers more than a journey — it’s the start of countless stories and memories.

Whether you’re drawn to the soothing rhythms of Caribbean shores or the allure of exploring new horizons, there’s a ship waiting to carry you there, including the Best Cruises from Miami .

Top 2024 Cruise Destinations from Miami

1. carnival horizon: western caribbean escape.

Embark on a six-day journey filled with excitement aboard the Carnival Horizon as it sets sail from Miami, FL, to explore the stunning Western Caribbean.

With endless entertainment options, including live shows, water slides, and gourmet dining, this ship promises an unforgettable experience for all amidst the vibrant destinations of the Western Caribbean.

Top Features:

• Diverse entertainment choices.
• Exciting water slides.
• Gourmet dining options.
• Spacious accommodations.
• Fun-filled onboard activities.
• Endless entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Delicious dining experiences.
• Comfortable and spacious accommodations.
• Variety of onboard activities to keep guests entertained.
• Opportunity to create lasting memories with loved ones.
• Crowded conditions during peak seasons.
• Additional expenses for certain onboard activities and amenities.

Best For: Carnival Horizon is perfect for families and thrill-seekers looking for a lively and fun-filled cruise experience .

2. Norwegian Gem: 3-Night Bahamas Cruise: Great Stirrup Cay & Nassau

Embark on a delightful three-night Bahamas adventure aboard the Norwegian Gem , setting sail from and returning to Miami, Florida.

Discover the charming ports of Nassau, Bahamas, and Great Stirrup Cay, Norwegian’s private island paradise.

• Lavish accommodations.
• Broadway-style entertainment.
• Onboard spa and wellness facilities.
• Exciting onboard activities like go-kart racing and laser tag.
• Indulgent luxury throughout the ship.
• Culinary delights from around the world.
• High-quality entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Relaxation and rejuvenation at the onboard spa.
• Thrilling activities for adventurous travelers.
• Crowded facilities during peak travel times.
• Additional charges for certain specialty dining options and activities.

Best For: Norwegian Gem is ideal for travelers seeking a sophisticated and indulgent cruise experience with a wide range of onboard amenities and activities.

Bahamas Cruises

3. independence of the seas: miami cruise adventure.

Embark on an unforgettable cruise aboard the Independence of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Experience the excitement and luxury of this roundtrip journey as you explore captivating destinations and enjoy onboard amenities.

• Rock climbing wall.
• Ice skating rink.
• Broadway-caliber shows.
• Multiple pools and whirlpools.
• Specialty dining options.
• Exciting activities for adventure seekers.
• High-quality entertainment options.
• Variety of swimming and relaxation areas.
• Delicious dining choices for every palate.
• Family-friendly atmosphere.
• Additional fees for certain onboard activities and dining options.

Best For: Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas is perfect for families and active travelers looking for a wide range of onboard activities and entertainment options.

4. Oasis of the Seas: Caribbean Bliss

Embark on a magical seven-night journey through the Western Caribbean aboard the Oasis of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore vibrant ports including Nassau, Bahamas; Perfect Day at Coco Cay, Bahamas; Labadee, Haiti; and Falmouth, Jamaica.

• Disney-themed entertainment.
• Character meet-and-greets.
• Broadway-style shows.
• Family-friendly pools and waterslides.
• Youth clubs for kids of all ages.
• Magical experiences for Disney fans.
• Opportunities to meet beloved characters.
• High-quality entertainment suitable for the whole family.
• Fun-filled aquatic areas for relaxation and play.
• Supervised activities for children, allowing adults to relax and enjoy the cruise.
• Higher cost compared to some other cruise lines.
• Limited itineraries compared to non-themed cruises.

Best For: Oasis of the Seas is perfect for families with children and Disney enthusiasts looking for an immersive and enchanting cruise experience.

Also, explore the list of best fishing spots in Miami.

Solo to Group Excursions: There’s a Cruise for Everyone

5. msc seaside: cruise the eastern caribbean & bahamas.

Embark on a seven-night voyage aboard the MSC Seaside as it explores the captivating Eastern Caribbean and Bahamas.

Departing and returning to Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey promises unforgettable experiences amidst the sun-soaked islands of the Caribbean and the Bahamas.

• Innovative onboard amenities.
• Immersive entertainment experiences.
• Stylish and contemporary design.
• Varied dining options.
• Spacious staterooms with modern amenities.
• Access to cutting-edge onboard facilities.
• Engaging entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Contemporary and stylish ambiance throughout the ship.
• Comfortable accommodations with modern conveniences.
• Limited availability of some onboard activities during peak times.

Best For: MSC Seaside is ideal for travelers seeking a modern and dynamic cruise experience with innovative amenities and stylish surroundings.

6. Carnival Sunrise: 4 Night Bahamas

Embark on a delightful four-night Bahamas getaway aboard the Carnival Sunrise , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the beautiful ports of Half Moon Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island, and Nassau, Bahamas, on this memorable roundtrip cruise.

• Elegant and stylish design.
• Gourmet dining experiences.
• Upscale onboard amenities.
• World-class entertainment options.
• Spacious and well-appointed accommodations.
• Sophisticated ambiance throughout the ship.
• Culinary delights from renowned chefs.
• Access to luxurious onboard facilities .
• Comfortable and spacious accommodations for a restful retreat.

Best For: Carnival Sunrise is perfect for travelers seeking a refined and luxurious cruising experience with upscale amenities and gourmet dining options.

Hair Tools Travel Bag

Special offshore experiences only from miami cruises, 7. carnival magic: 6-night eastern caribbean adventure.

Embark on a six-night adventure aboard the Carnival Magic as it cruises through the enchanting Eastern Caribbean.

Departing and returning from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey promises unforgettable experiences as you explore the sun-soaked islands and vibrant cultures of the Eastern Caribbean.

• Thrilling onboard activities.
• Lively entertainment options.
• Diverse dining choices.
• Family-friendly amenities.
• Comfortable and well-appointed accommodations.
• Endless entertainment options for guests of all ages.
• Delicious dining choices to suit every palate.
• Family-friendly atmosphere with activities for kids and adults alike.
• Relaxation and comfort in well-appointed accommodations.
• Opportunity to create unforgettable memories with loved ones.
• Crowded conditions during peak travel seasons.
• Additional charges for certain onboard activities and specialty dining options.

Best For: Carnival Magic is perfect for families and groups of friends seeking a lively and fun-filled cruise experience with a wide range of onboard entertainment options.

8. Symphony of the Seas: 4 Night Eastern Caribbean

Experience a four-night Eastern Caribbean escape aboard the Symphony of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant port of Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise adventure.

• Ultimate Abyss slide.
• Broadway-caliber entertainment.
• Onboard Aqua Park.
• Thrilling experiences with onboard attractions like the Ultimate Abyss slide .
• High-quality entertainment with Broadway-caliber shows and performances.
• Culinary delights from around the world with a variety of dining options.
• Crowded conditions during peak travel times.
• Additional fees for certain onboard activities and specialty dining options.

Best For: Symphony of the Seas is perfect for travelers seeking a diverse and action-packed cruise experience with thrilling onboard attractions , entertainment, and dining options.

9. Carnival Conquest: 4-Night Bahamas Getaway

Embark on a four-night Bahamas escape aboard the Carnival Conquest .

Departing and returning from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes stops at Princess Cays, the Cruise Line Private Island, and Nassau, Bahamas. Experience the sun, sand, and vibrant culture of these tropical destinations on this unforgettable cruise adventure.

• Poolside fun and relaxation.
• Live music performances.
• Family-friendly activities and amenities.
• Non-stop entertainment for guests of all ages.
• Relaxation and enjoyment by the poolside.
• Live music performances to keep the atmosphere lively.
• Delicious dining options to satisfy every craving.
• Family-friendly activities and amenities for a memorable vacation.

Best For: Carnival Conquest is perfect for travelers seeking a fun and energetic cruise experience with a variety of entertainment options and family-friendly amenities .

10. Freedom of the Seas: 3 Night Bahamas & Perfect Day Excursion

Embark on a thrilling three-night Bahamas & Perfect Day excursion aboard the Freedom of the Seas , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Experience the ultimate relaxation and adventure with stops at Perfect Day at CocoCay, Bahamas, and Nassau, Bahamas, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise.

Top 5 Features:

• Expansive art collection and enriching onboard activities.
• Culinary Arts Center offers cooking demonstrations and hands-on workshops.
• Greenhouse Spa & Salon provides rejuvenating treatments.
• The Retreat is an exclusive outdoor lounge area for relaxation.
• An impressive lineup of live music and entertainment venues.

Five Benefits:

• A refined cruising experience with a strong emphasis on dining excellence.
• Educational enrichment programs range from digital workshops to guest speakers.
• Attentive and personalized service catering to each guest’s preferences.
• Destination-focused activities and excursions that enhance port visits.
• Comfortable and well-appointed staterooms offer magnificent ocean views.
• Some travelers might find the atmosphere more traditional than contemporary.
• Limited options for thrill-seekers who prefer high-energy onboard experiences.

Best For: Freedom of the Seas is ideal for discerning voyagers who appreciate sophisticated travel with a touch of historical maritime flair.

11. Carnival Celebration: Western Caribbean Expedition

Embark on a thrilling seven-night Western Caribbean expedition aboard the Carnival Celebration , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant ports of Cozumel, Mexico; Mahogany Bay (Roatan), Bay Islands, Honduras; and Costa Maya (Mahahual), Mexico, on this unforgettable roundtrip cruise.

• The Waterfront is a promenade of dining and shopping with ocean views.
• A multi-slide Aqua Park includes the fastest waterslides at sea.
• Over 25 dining options that take your palate on a global adventure.
• Broadway-caliber performances such as “ Million Dollar Quartet .”
• Vibe Beach Club is an exclusive adults-only retreat.
• A myriad of activities ensures never a dull moment aboard.
• Exquisite dining choices cater to every craving and diet.
• Premium entertainment options create unforgettable evening experiences.
• The children’s program provides both fun and educational activities .
• State-of-the-art fitness center and luxurious spa services for wellness enthusiasts.
• During peak times, popular areas can become crowded .
• Some services and experiences may carry an additional charge beyond the inclusive fare.

Best For: Carnival Celebration suits adventure-seeking families, couples, and solo travelers who desire an activity-rich vacation with the freedom to customize their onboard experience.

12. Explorer of the Seas: Caribbean Bliss

Set sail on a four-night Caribbean adventure with Explorer of the Seas , departing from Miami, Florida.

Explore the exclusive paradise of Labadee, Haiti, with its pristine beaches and thrilling water activities. Don’t miss out on this unforgettable voyage!

• Custom-designed furnishings and a prestigious art collection.
• Culinary Center featuring cooking classes with master chefs.
• Canyon Ranch SpaClub promotes unmatched wellness experiences.
• Multiple gourmet dining venues, including the acclaimed Polo Grill.
• Spacious, sumptuously appointed suites and staterooms.
• Intimate is a mid-sized ship offering highly personalized service.
• Exquisite attention to detail, from cuisine to guest accommodations.
• Hands-on culinary workshops for aspiring chefs and food enthusiasts.
• Enriching onboard activities, from wine tastings to artist-led workshops.
• A relaxed atmosphere allows guests to explore destinations at leisure.
• Less suited for those seeking budget-friendly cruising options.
• Limited children’s amenities compared to other family-oriented cruise lines.

Best For: A perfect match for epicureans and anyone who prefers unhurried elegance blended seamlessly with immersive cultural experiences.

13. Norwegian Sky: Caribbean Getaway

Experience a five-night Caribbean getaway aboard the Norwegian Sky . Departing from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes visits to Key West, Florida; Cozumel, Mexico; and Great Stirrup Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island in the Bahamas.

Enjoy the added luxury of an open bar throughout your cruise.

• All-inclusive experience with a wide selection of complimentary dining options.
• Onboard activities range from Broadway shows to comedy nights .
• The Great Outdoors is a spacious deck for alfresco dining and stunning views.
• Multiple bars and lounges , including a lively poolside bar.
• Generous selection of cabin types to accommodate any preference or budget.
• An all-inclusive fare structure simplifies your vacation planning.
• Varied entertainment options cater to a diverse audience.
• Numerous dining venues eliminate the chance of monotonous mealtimes.
• Family-friendly activities ensure enjoyment for guests of all ages.
• Spacious public areas reduce the feeling of crowding, even on full sailings.
• Some areas might feel dated compared to newer fleet members.
• Premium experiences outside of the all-inclusive package might add to your budget.

Best For: Ideal for first-time cruisers and seasoned travelers alike looking for an all-encompassing cruise experience without the hassle of constant budgeting.

14. Celebrity Summit: Island Escape

Embark on a refreshing four-night voyage aboard the Celebrity Summit , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the vibrant culture of Key West, Florida, before indulging in the tropical beauty of Nassau, Bahamas.

• The Rooftop Terrace offers movies under the stars.
• Cuisine crafted by a Michelin-starred chef across multiple dining venues .
• The Retreat experience includes exclusive suites and a private lounge.
• Canyon Ranch spa offers a sumptuous array of treatments .
• The Celebrity iLounge℠ features a modern approach to staying connected at sea.
• A small ship ambiance allows for intimate and personalized service.
• Exceptional dining experiences, promising culinary delights at every meal.
• Exclusive spaces offer a sense of privacy and luxury for suite guests.
• Comprehensive wellness programs to rejuvenate the mind, body, and spirit.
• An array of enrichment programs, from art auctions to lectures on various topics.
• Less variety of high-adrenaline activities compared to larger ships.
• The sophisticated atmosphere may not appeal to guests seeking a casual cruise vibe.

Best For: The Celebrity Summit is most suited to adult couples or groups wishing for a serene cruise with a touch of luxury and attentive service.

15. Norwegian Joy: Caribbean Voyage

Set sail on a thrilling seven-night Caribbean voyage aboard the Norwegian Joy , departing and returning from Miami, Florida.

Explore the captivating ports of Roatan, Honduras; Harvest Caye, Belize; Costa Maya, and Cozumel, Mexico.

• The Sanctuary is an adults-only retreat for relaxation and tranquility .
• Princess Theater, showcasing original Broadway-style productions.
• Scholarship@Sea enriching educational programs.
• Specialty dining options , including Sabatini’s Italian Trattoria.
• Personalized service with the MedallionClass™ experience.
• The cozy atmosphere aboard a mid-sized ship allows for easier navigation and less crowding.
• Signature activities and entertainment offer something for every taste and interest.
• Innovative technology for expedited boarding and personalized service.
• Culinary delights range from casual bites to fine dining experiences.
• A robust itinerary covering unique and exotic ports of call.
• It may lack the array of amenities found on mega-ships.
• Fewer adrenaline-packed activities , possibly limiting for adventure seekers.

Best For: Norwegian Joy is an exceptional choice for travelers who prefer a more traditional, relaxed cruising ambiance with a touch of personalized luxury.

Looking for some family fun? Check out our recommended list of amusement parks in Miami.

16. Norwegian Pearl: Caribbean Getaway

Experience a five-night Caribbean getaway aboard the Norwegian Pearl . Departing from Miami, Florida, this roundtrip journey includes visits to Key West, Florida; Cozumel, Mexico; and Great Stirrup Cay, the Cruise Line Private Island in the Bahamas.

• Multiple unique dining venues, including Asian fusion and French gourmet.
• Bowling alley in the ship’s spirited sports bar.
• Crystal-clear climbing wall and outdoor sports court for active fun.
• Poolside screens for movies under the stars.
• A variety of live music and entertainment options, including magic shows and comedy .
• Family-friendly with a range of activities and accommodations to suit any group size.
• A plethora of dining options ensures a new culinary adventure with every meal.
• A full roster of live shows and interactive entertainment to enliven your nights.
• Recreational amenities cater to both relaxation and active pursuits .
• Comprehensive children’s programs to engage young travelers.
• Some premium experiences and dining options require additional fees .
• The ship’s size and multitude of offerings might be overwhelming for some.

Best For: The Norwegian Pearl is fantastic for families, groups, and solo travelers who crave diversity and the freedom to tailor their cruise experience.

17. Scarlet Lady: 4 Nights of Fire and Sunset Soirees

Embark on a delightful four-night journey aboard the Scarlet Lady , sailing roundtrip from Miami, Florida.

Experience the vibrant culture of Key West, Florida, before indulging in the exclusive paradise of The Beach Club in Bimini, Bahamas.

• Diverse Dining: Enjoy upscale Mexican at Pink Agave, beach-inspired fare at The Dock House, and more.
• Unique Entertainment: Live performances at The Red Room and themed dinner parties like Another Rose.
• Wellness Facilities: Luxurious spa treatments at Redemption Spa and fitness classes at B-Complex Gym.
• Stylish Accommodations: Choose from Mega Rockstar Suites to Solo cabins, designed for comfort.
• Exclusive Amenities: Access exclusive lounges like Richard’s Rooftop and personalized Sailor Services.
• Longer stays at ports and more overnight calls for an in-depth local experience.
• Intimate ship size provides access to unique, less-visited harbors.
• Complimentary AzAmazing Evenings event on most voyages for a taste of local culture .
• Gourmet dining experiences are included in your fare, emphasizing quality and variety.
• Attentive, friendly service that anticipates your needs and desires.
• Additional Fees for Spa and Tattoo Services
• Scarlet Lady is an adults-only ship, which may be a drawback for families looking to cruise together.

Best For: Scarlet Lady is best for adults seeking a vibrant and inclusive cruise experience with a focus on relaxation, diverse dining options, innovative entertainment, and stylish accommodations.

Whether you’re a solo traveler, couple, or group of friends, Scarlet Lady promises an unparalleled vacation experience.

Your Premier Guide to Cruising from Miami

Essential pre-voyage information.

Before you embark on your epic voyage from Miami, it’s crucial to have all the necessary information to ensure a seamless and enjoyable experience .

Here’s what you need to know:

• Passport and Documentation: Ensure your passport is valid for at least six months past your travel dates. Keep your travel documents handy, including visas if required for your destinations.
• Packing Smart: Check the climate of your destinations and pack accordingly. Remember to include formal and casual wear for onboard activities.
• Travel Insurance: Consider purchasing comprehensive travel insurance that covers trip cancellations, medical emergencies, and unforeseen events.
• Vaccinations and Health: Stay updated with any required or recommended vaccinations. Bring any personal medications and a copy of your prescriptions.
• Online Check-in: Complete online check-in and print out your boarding pass and luggage tags to expedite your boarding process.
• Arrival Time: Plan to arrive at the cruise terminal early and consider staying in Miami the night before departure to minimize stress and potential delays.
• Port Transportation: Research transportation options from the airport or your hotel to the cruise terminal, be it taxi, shuttle, or public transportation.
• Cruise Apps and Technology: Many cruise lines offer apps that help with onboard communication, activity scheduling, and account management. Download and set these up before boarding.
• Cabin Essentials: Some travelers recommend bringing a power strip for additional outlets and a hanging organizer to maximize cabin space.

Adhering to these guidelines will place you on the deck, cocktail in hand, with nothing but the breeze and boundless adventure ahead.

Connect with Cruise Insiders for Expert Advice

For personalized guidance tailored to your cruising tastes and needs, connecting with a cruise insider is a smart move.

These seasoned professionals can offer the following:

• Insider Tips: Receive advice on selecting the best cabin, best dining experiences, and must-see entertainment on board.
• Exclusive Deals: Get access to insider-only promotions, cabin upgrades, and reduced fares that aren’t widely advertised.
• Port Insights: Learn about each destination’s highlights and hidden gems from someone who knows them well.
• Streamlined Planning: Let an expert handle the intricacies of cruise planning, from shore excursions to special requests.

Cruise insiders’ wealth of knowledge ensures that from the moment you step aboard, your cruise is nothing short of extraordinary.

FAQ: Navigate Your 2024 Miami Cruise Questions

The top cruise destinations from Miami in 2024 include the breathtaking beauty of the Bahamas, the vibrant culture of the  Caribbean Islands , and the picturesque coastlines of Mexico.

Adventurous travelers can also set sail to exotic locations such as Belize, Jamaica, and the Panama Canal for a taste of tropical paradise and rich cultural experiences.

To pick the best Miami-based cruise line that fits your preferences, consider these aspects: the type of experiences you enjoy ( relaxation, adventure, cultural immersion ), budget range, the size and amenities of the ship, dining preferences, and the type of traveler you are (solo, couple, family, group).

Read reviews, compare itineraries, and perhaps consult with a cruise agent to make an informed choice.

Reputation can be subjective, but consistently, cruise lines like  Royal Caribbean ,  Celebrity Cruises , and  Disney Cruise Line  are praised for their exceptional service, diverse offerings, and high standards of accommodation and cleanliness.

Choose based on what aligns best with your preferences in terms of luxury,  family-friendliness , and adventure opportunities.

The #1 cruise line often varies based on traveler reviews and industry accolades. However,  Disney Cruise Line  frequently earns top marks for its family-friendly atmosphere, exceptional service, and entertainment.

For more adult-centric luxury, Viking Ocean Cruises often ranks highly for its inclusive offerings and destination-focused itineraries.

The best time to cruise out of Miami is typically  between November and April  when the weather is warm and dry. This period avoids the Caribbean hurricane season and offers comfortable temperatures for enjoying the beaches and outdoor activities at your destinations.

Miami boasts a rich mosaic of cultures influenced by its  historical roots  as a Native American settlement, its Spanish and British colonial past, and its growth as a melting pot for Caribbean and Latin American immigrants.

This diversity is reflected in its vibrant arts scene, diverse neighborhoods like Little Havana, and a culinary landscape filled with fusion flavors. Miami’s history as a tourist destination and hub of entertainment adds to its unique cultural tapestry.

Approximately 22 cruise lines sail out  of Miami, offering a vast array of itineraries, ships, and experiences for travelers of all types.

This includes industry giants such as Royal Caribbean, Norwegian, MSC Cruises, and Carnival, as well as luxury lines and niche operators catering to specific interests and demographics.

The best cruises from Miami vary widely to cater to different tastes, but some of the top-rated options include the luxurious Celebrity Cruises for their modern sophistication,  Royal Caribbean  for fun-filled family adventures, and  Norwegian Cruise Line’s  freestyle cruising offering flexibility and a wide range of activities.

Consider your preferences for dining, entertainment, itinerary, and ship amenities to find your perfect match.

Near the Miami cruise port,  Bayside Marketplace  is a popular waterfront shopping area with a variety of stores and eateries.

Also, explore the trendy boutiques in the nearby artsy neighborhood of Coconut Grove, or venture a little further to Lincoln Road Mall and Miracle Mile for an extensive shopping experience. Don’t miss out on the  shopping malls in Miami —check out this curated list!

Calle Ocho in Little Havana  offers unique finds like hand-stitched guayabera shirts and hand-rolled Cuban cigars.

The best cruise line for you depends on your vacation priorities. For families,  Disney Cruise Line  offers a magical experience. Those seeking luxury might prefer lines like Celebrity or Viking. For value and variety, consider  Royal Caribbean  or  Norwegian .

Check reviews and consider destinations, onboard activities, dining options, and personal travel style to decide.

For cruising within Florida from Miami, options may be more limited since Miami is the primary Floridian departure point. However, short trips to the  Bahamas  often include stops at private islands owned by cruise lines, which are part of the Florida archipelago.

Look for weekend getaways or day cruises to the Keys, or staycations at sea with no ports of call.

To find all-inclusive cruises departing from Miami, check out offerings from major cruise lines like Norwegian’s all-inclusive packages or luxury lines such as  Regent Seven Seas Cruise s and  Silversea Cruises , which typically include amenities like beverages, dining, and excursions in their fare.

Research and comparing the packages provided by each line will help you find the perfect all-inclusive experience.

For the best cruises from Miami to the Bahamas, look to popular lines like  Royal Caribbean ,  Carnival , and  Norwegian  for short getaways or week-long vacations. These cruises often feature stops at the cruise line’s private islands along with other Bahamian destinations.

Reviews and travel websites like Cruise Critic can be great resources for current offerings and deals.

Several cruise lines offer 7-day cruises from Miami, including  Royal Caribbean International ,  Norwegian Cruise Line ,  Carnival Cruise Line , and  MSC Cruises . These cruises typically explore the Caribbean, giving you a week full of sun, sea, and exploration.

Each line offers a unique variety of onboard experiences, amenities, and shore excursions, tailoring to different tastes and preferences.

Made by travelers, for travelers, check out the Barefoot Caribou Products below!

Conclusion: Best Cruises from Miami

Your perfect cruise vacation awaits in the sparkling waters departing from Miami. Whether seeking adventure, relaxation, or cultural immersion, the selection of cruises is as diverse as the destinations they visit. From the grandeur of the Celebrity Beyond to the family-friendly Disney Dream , the sun-soaked Bahamas, or the rich tapestries of the Caribbean, choices abound.

Remember, the best cruise is the one that aligns with your dreams and desires. Factor in the onboard experience, the variety of ports, and the overall value to find your ideal seafaring journey.

Miami’s cruise port is your gateway to paradise , and with the wealth of options available in 2024, the hardest part will be choosing just one.

Ready to set sail? Pack your bags, book your voyage, and get ready to make waves, creating memories that will last a lifetime. Share your thoughts and experiences by commenting below !

Other Posts You Will Like

13 Best Boat Tours in Tampa: Top Party Cruises & Rides in 2024!

The 17 Best Beaches in Thailand (2024) for Relaxing, Sun, and Fun

Top 13 Hotels in Miami Near Cruise Port for Sea Voyagers

The 8 Best Things to Do in Valladolid, Mexico: What to Do & See in 2024

Best Locations for Ziplining in St. Petersburg FL in 2024

17 Best Things to Do in Phang Nga Bay in 2024

Leave a comment cancel reply.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Get Exclusive Travel Tips

Receive the same tips we use to make traveling easy and fun and special coupons and promotions..

*We respect your privacy and Do Not Spam.

Please share this article

Get the Packing eBook for Free

The Universal Packing List 2.0 is our most comprehensive cheklist, so you never forget a thing when you travel.

Your eBook will be delivered to your email address. Please also check the Spam folder.

7 - Day Eastern Caribbean from Miami, FL

Cruise itinerary.

Day 1: Miami

Day 2: Fun Day at Sea

Day 3: amber cove, day 4: san juan, day 5: st. thomas.

Day 6 & 7: Fun Day at Sea

Day 8: miami.

Get to Know Carnival Celebration

Onboard activities.

Onboard Dining

change your itinerary

The best cruises from Miami for every type of traveler

What are the best cruises from Miami? It's a tough question to answer, in part because there are so many choices.

Miami has long been the cruise capital of the world, and even though it recently has been challenged by nearby Port Canaveral for the title of world's busiest cruise port, it still offers one of the most diverse mixes of options when it comes to ships and itineraries.

Many of the world's biggest cruise lines operate sailings from Miami, in some cases with multiple ships. On any given day, there can be as many as seven different cruise vessels sailing from the port.

For more cruise guides, news and tips, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

The large number of options means that there's a little something for everyone when it comes to Miami cruises. That's great because the best Miami cruise for you may not be the same as the best cruise out of Miami for someone else, depending on your travel style.

Here we list our top picks for the best cruises from Miami for five different types of travelers.

Best cruises for families: Icon of the Seas

Quite a few family-friendly ships call Miami home, including vessels operated by such family cruise leaders as Royal Caribbean , Norwegian Cruise Line, Carnival Cruise Line and Disney Cruise Line. However, when it comes to the best cruises from Miami for families, there's never been anything quite like the voyages in the works for Royal Caribbean's soon-to-arrive-in-Miami Icon of the Seas .

Scheduled to debut in Miami in January 2024 and already available to book, the 5,610-passenger Icon of the Seas will be the biggest cruise ship in the world — more than 6% bigger than the biggest cruise vessel currently at sea.

That means it has more space than any other ship at sea for children's clubs, waterslides, watery play areas and other family fun zones.

But it's not just Icon of the Seas' larger size that will make its sailings the best cruises out of Miami for families. The cruise line has designed the vessel — the first of a new class of ships — specifically to cater to families in a bigger way .

Icon of the Seas will offer more cabins with extra bunks to accommodate families with multiple children, including new room designs. Some family suites will even feature separate rooms for the little ones.

Related: The 5 best cruise lines for families

Many of these family-friendly accommodations will be near a new-for-the-line outdoor "neighborhood" called Surfside, which is dedicated to families with young children. As announced late last year, Surfside will feature splash areas for babies and kids, pools and lounge spaces for parents, family-friendly eateries and shops, and a bar with "mommy and me" matching mocktails for kids and cocktails for grownups.

The water park that Royal Caribbean plans for Icon of the Seas will be the largest ever built on a cruise ship. It will feature a record six top-deck waterslides and an unusual-for-Royal Caribbean ropes course. Teens and tweens have never had it so good.

Come January, Icon of the Seas will take the place of Royal Caribbean's family-friendly Harmony of the Seas in Miami. If you're looking for the best cruise out of Miami for families between now and January 2024, Harmony of the Seas is our pick. It's almost as big as Icon of the Seas and similarly loaded with family-friendly attractions.

That said, if you're a diehard Disney fan, be advised that the best family cruise from Miami for you is probably not a voyage on Icon of the Seas or Harmony of the Seas but one of the seasonal sailings that Disney Cruise Line offers out of Miami on the 1,754-passenger Disney Magic.

Unlike the Royal Caribbean ships, it's not a new vessel with all the latest bells and whistles. In fact, it's the oldest ship in the Disney fleet, dating to the 1990s. But it's, well ... a Disney ship. And if you're a Disney lover, that's probably all you need to know.

Best cruises for adults: Scarlet Lady

As of October 2021, the uncontested best cruises from Miami for adults are the four- and five-night sailings to the Bahamas and Caribbean offered on Virgin Voyages' Scarlet Lady. That's the month the new cruise line launched, promising to shake things up in the cruise world with a lively, adult-focused onboard experience unlike anything else in cruising.

Specifically designed for adults only — no children under the age of 18 are allowed on board — the 2,770-passenger Scarlet Lady is all about grownup fun. We're talking everything from rollicking dance parties to a drag show.

Related: I've been on more than 150 cruise ships; here's why I loved Scarlet Lady

Notably, Scarlet Lady offers many stylish, adult-oriented nightspots and bars, creating a hopping scene late into the night. Passengers are able to shake their phones to have Champagne delivered to wherever they happen to be standing, get inked at an onboard tattoo parlor and belt out tunes in a colorful karaoke lounge .

Unlike some other cruise lines, Virgin Voyages also eschews buffets, dress codes and big Broadway-style theater shows. In place of the latter, the line offers such entertainment as dance parties, DJ sets and unconventional performances in a multi-purpose room.

While initially dubbed the "cruise line for millennials" in media coverage, Virgin Voyages was designed to appeal to not just young adults but older adults who are "young at heart," executives have said. In its first two year of operations, it's been drawing passengers in a wide range of ages .

Best cruises for budget travelers: MSC Seascape

For years, the low-cost ships of Carnival Cruise Line were the go-to vessels for the best cruises out of Miami for budget travelers. But Carnival's Miami-based ships have had new competition for the title in recent years from the even-lower-cost vessels of MSC Cruises — a fast-growing line that has been taking the Miami market by storm.

Our take is that the MSC Cruises ships sailing from Miami — particularly the just-out-of-the-shipyard-new MSC Seascape — are now the vessels to book if you're looking for the best value in cruises from Miami.

Based in Miami year-round, the 4,550-passenger MSC Seascape operates alternating seven-night voyages to the Eastern Caribbean and Western Caribbean that sometimes sell for as little as $399 per person — or just $57 per day.

That's a pretty amazing fare when you consider that it covers not just your room but meals on the ship, too.

Related: TPG's guide to cruising from Miami

The ship's Eastern Caribbean sailings typically are priced a tad lower than its Western Caribbean sailings (when we were pricing them for this guide, they started about $30 per person lower). The Eastern Caribbean trips call at Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic; San Juan, Puerto Rico; Nassau, Bahamas; and Ocean Cay , MSC Cruises' private island in the Bahamas. The Western Caribbean voyages stop at Ocho Rios, Jamaica; George Town, Cayman Islands; Cozumel, Mexico; and Ocean Cay.

What's striking about these low-priced sailings on MSC Seascape is that the ship is one of the newest and snazziest operating out of the Port of Miami, having just been unveiled in November 2022. Often, the lowest-cost cruises in any cruise port are on the oldest ships sailing from the port — vessels that don't have the latest and greatest when it comes to onboard attractions and amenities.

Eighteen decks high and more than 1,100 feet long, MSC Seascape is loaded with family-friendly attractions, including multiple waterslides, a giant kiddie splash zone with a pirate ship theme and a robotic thrill ride. The latter, called Robotron , will flip you upside down and around as you dangle over the side of the ship.

Related: Our first impressions of MSC Seascape

MSC Seascape also offers 11 dining venues, 20 bars and lounges, a bustling casino, a sprawling spa and a showroom for big production shows.

Plus, there's a giant "ship-within-a-ship" luxury zone loaded with suites and a private lounge and restaurant — one only accessible to well-heeled passengers who pay up for access. With fares for its rooms nearly 10 times higher than the starting rates for the ship's basic cabins, The Yacht Club, as it's called, is not a budget option. However, if you've got money to burn, you can check in here and feel like you're living the high life.

In short, MSC Seascape is a big, bustling megaresort at sea of the sort operated by Royal Caribbean, Norwegian Cruise Line and Carnival. If it's big ships with lots of activities you love, it's a good choice if your budget is tight.

MSC Cruises has two other vessels based seasonally in Miami: MSC Magnifica and MSC Divina. MSC Magnifica mostly operates short three- and four-night sailings to the Bahamas. MSC Divina operates a wide mix of three- to 18-night sailings to the Bahamas and the Caribbean.

Best cruises for solo travelers: Norwegian Encore

The best cruises from Miami for solo travelers are those offered on Norwegian Cruise Line 's 3,998-passenger Norwegian Encore , as well as its sister vessels, Norwegian Bliss and Norwegian Escape.

This is largely because Norwegian Encore and its sister ships boast unusually large private zones for solo travelers — something you won't find on the Miami-based vessels operated by Norwegian's main competitors.

The so-called "studio" zones on Norwegian Encore, Norwegian Bliss and Norwegian Escape — vessels that all are part of the line's recently unveiled Breakaway-Plus class of ships — have 82 special solo cabins apiece and a private Studio Lounge where solos can gather for happy hours and other events.

One other Norwegian ship that sometimes sails out of Miami, Norwegian Breakaway, has a similar solo zone with 59 cabins.

Only the studio zone on Norwegian's 2010-built Norwegian Epic is bigger, but that ship doesn't sail out of Miami.

A special zone for solo travelers is a concept that is rare in the cruise world, where almost all rooms for vacationers are designed for two people and sold with per-person fares that are based on two people occupying the room.

Solos staying in the solo cabins on the above vessels get exclusive access to the Studio Lounge (using their keycards), meaning a maximum of 59 to 82 people will share the space.

Related: The best cruise lines for solo travelers

The solo cabins in the zones are small (measuring 100 square feet) but are superbly designed to maximize storage space (something I learned firsthand staying in one on Norwegian Epic).

Solos on Norwegian Encore and its sister ships also will find a bustling bar scene, with plenty of counter-style seating in bars that are a great place to meet other solo travelers and friendly guests.

All of the ships mentioned above are great for solos, but we put Norwegian Encore first among them because it's the newest. Of all Norwegian's ships, it has the widest array of onboard attractions including one of the longest go-kart tracks at sea , an epic, open-air laser tag course and a virtual reality play zone.

Norwegian Encore, Norwegian Bliss, Norwegian Escape and Norwegian Breakaway are scheduled to rotate in and out of Miami for Bahamas and Caribbean sailings over the next two years. None of them operate out of Miami year-round, and typically they're not in town at the same time. If you're planning a solo cruise from Miami in the next couple years, you'll want to search for which vessel is scheduled to sail from Miami when you want to travel.

Best cruises for unrivaled fun: Carnival Celebration

Looking for a cruise out of Miami that is all about fun? Look no further than the sailings on Carnival Cruise Line 's new Carnival Celebration .

Carnival famously markets itself as the Fun Ship line, and this massive, 19-deck-high ship takes the tagline to heart with loads of fun-focused activities. It's got everything from a water park and ropes course to one of the first roller coasters at sea .

In the ship's interior areas, you'll find many bars, eateries and showrooms where fun is the focus, including restaurants where the waiters dance for you in between courses (something of a Carnival signature). The always-busy casino can be a fun zone for some, depending on the vagaries of Lady Luck.

Carnival draws a lively, outgoing crowd looking to be part of the action, and that's what you'll find on Carnival Celebration. The typical Carnival customer shoots up a hand when an entertainer asks for a volunteer to come on stage or jumps up to dance with the waiters during the dinner show. If this sounds like you, you've found your ship for a cruise from Miami.

Related: The ultimate guide to Carnival ships and itineraries

Just don't expect anything too highbrow. Carnival is about fun in a laid-back, unpretentious, nothing-too-fancy way.

At 183,521 gross tons, Carnival Celebration is one of the biggest ships sailing regularly from Miami. With room for up to 6,630 passengers, it's one of the most packed, too. Expect fun in the form of a bustling party at sea.

As for that roller coaster, just be warned that it's not the biggest you've ever seen. Dubbed Bolt: Ultimate Sea Coaster, it has an 800-foot-long track and vehicles that can hit speeds of 40 miles per hour. When it comes to top-deck cruise ship fun, it's hard to think of anything that compares.

Bottom line

Few ports in the world are home to as many cruise ships as Miami, which means cruisers have plenty of choices when it comes to sailings from the port. Almost all of the world's biggest cruise lines — including Royal Caribbean, Carnival, Norwegian and MSC Cruises — operate departures regularly from the port, typically with multiple ships and on multiple itineraries.

What is the best cruise from Miami for you? That'll depend on your personal interests and travel style. There are cruises from Miami that appeal to everyone, including family travelers, budget travelers and solo travelers.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

• The 5 best cabin locations on any cruise ship
• The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
• A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
• 21 tips and tricks that will make your cruise go smoothly
• 15 ways cruisers waste money
• 15 best cruises for people who never want to grow up
• What to pack for your first cruise

• August 2024
• September 2024
• October 2024
• November 2024
• December 2024
• January 2025
• February 2025
• Eastern Caribbean
• Panama Canal
• Southern Caribbean
• Transatlantic
• Western Caribbean
• Azamara Club Cruises
• Carnival Cruise Line
• Crystal Cruises
• MSC Cruises
• Norwegian Cruise Line
• Oceania Cruises
• Regent Seven Seas Cruises
• Royal Caribbean
• Virgin Voyages
• Ports Of Call

4-day Royal Caribbean Cruise from Miami

Looking for a 4-day cruise from Miami with Royal Caribbean? It's impossible to find a better way to spend your vacation than on a 4-day cruise with Royal Caribbean, whether you're hoping to get your adrenaline pumping or just relax and unwind. You can choose a cruise that takes you to the Bahamas, the western, southern, or eastern Caribbean, and while you're there, you can take in all the region's subtle pleasures. Enjoy beautiful scenery and spectacular mountains on your 4-day Royal Caribbean cruise vacation. Discover the best 4-day cruise vacations with Royal Caribbean from Miami .

Find and plan your next 4-day Royal Caribbean cruise out of Miami

4-day Bahamas from Miami, Fl

Freedom of the seas, royal caribbean.

Date: April 22, 2024

Ports of Call: Miami, CocoCay, Nassau, Miami; View Itinerary

Date: April 29, 2024

Date: May 6, 2024

Ports of Call: Miami, Nassau, CocoCay, Miami; View Itinerary

4-day Eastern Caribbean from Miami, Fl

Independence of the seas, royal caribbean.

Date: May 9, 2024

Ports of Call: Miami, Labadee, Miami; View Itinerary

Date: May 13, 2024

Date: May 20, 2024

Date: May 23, 2024

Date: May 27, 2024

Date: June 3, 2024

Date: June 6, 2024

Date: June 10, 2024

Date: June 17, 2024

Date: June 20, 2024

Date: June 24, 2024

Date: July 1, 2024

Date: July 4, 2024

Date: July 8, 2024

Date: July 18, 2024

Allure of the Seas, Royal Caribbean

Date: July 22, 2024

Date: July 29, 2024

Date: August 1, 2024

Date: August 5, 2024

Date: August 12, 2024

Date: August 15, 2024

Date: August 19, 2024

Date: August 26, 2024

Date: August 29, 2024

Date: September 2, 2024

Date: September 9, 2024

Date: September 12, 2024

• Privacy Policy
• Terms of Use

• Favorites & Watchlist Find a Cruise Cruise Deals Cruise Ships Destinations Manage My Cruise​ FAQ Perfect Day at CocoCay Weekend Cruises Crown & Anchor Society Cruising Guides Gift Cards Contact Us Royal Caribbean Group
• Back to Main Menu
• Search Cruises " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-2-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruises" target="_self"> Search Cruises
• Cruise Deals
• Weekend Cruises
• Last Minute Cruises
• Family Cruises​
• 2024-2025 Cruises
• All Cruise Ships " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-4-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruise-ships" target="_self"> All Cruise Ships
• Cruise Dining
• Onboard Activities
• Cruise Rooms
• The Cruise Experience
• All Cruise Destinations " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-5-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruise-destinations" target="_self"> All Cruise Destinations
• Cruise Ports
• Shore Excursions
• Perfect Day at CocoCay
• Caribbean Cruises
• Bahamas Cruises​
• Alaska Cruises
• European Cruises​
• Mediterranean Cruises​
• Cruise Planner
• Book a Flight
• Book a Hotel
• Check-In for My Cruise
• Required Travel Documents
• Make a Payment
• Redeem Cruise Credit
• Update Guest Information
• Beverage Packages​
• Dining Packages​
• Shore Excursions​
• Transportation
• Royal Gifts
• All FAQs " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-7-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/faq" target="_self"> All FAQs
• Boarding Requirements
• Future Cruise Credit​
• Travel Documents​
• Check-in​ & Boarding Pass
• Transportation​
• Perfect Day at CocoCay​
• Post-Cruise Inquiries
• Royal Caribbean
• Celebrity Cruises

6 Best Cruises Out Of Port Canaveral

By Zachary Laks | Published on April 9, 2024

It's time to start planning your next big vacation. Whether you're looking for a weekend getaway, a family-friendly vacation or an extended voyage, you'll find cruises out of Port Canaveral, Florida that tick all your boxes.

When considering one of the cruises out of Port Canaveral, plan extra time before and after your sailing to soak up all the fun that the area has to offer. There's so much to do in Orlando that you could stay for several days and never get bored — music to your ears if you're traveling with children. One of the best things about Orlando cruises is that you have your choice of theme parks to round out your vacation. They're expansive and immersive escapes into playful worlds, not unlike a great cruise. I love tacking on an extra day or two at an Orlando theme park, usually before my cruise departs. I always appreciate the days of racking up thousands of steps traversing a theme park before boarding a cruise, where I know I'll be able to lounge on a deck or relax in a hot tub.

Not far from Port Canaveral, the Kennedy Space Center Visitor Complex is a great place to spend a day admiring the vast scope of NASA. The center offers one-of-a-kind immersion into space exploration, including the chance to strap into a rocket launch simulator for an adrenaline-pumping thrill.

For those seeking a more peaceful retreat before boarding their cruises out of Orlando, Port Canaveral is near the white sands of Cocoa Beach. Spend the day enjoying calm, low waves — great for year-round swimming, learning to surf and kayaking alongside manatees and dolphins. Or take a seat on an airboat ride through the wetlands for encounters with alligators and, depending on the season, bald eagles, herons and osprey.

Ready to book a cruise to Port Canaveral? Here are the six best cruises from Port Canaveral.

1. Best For A Long Weekend

Set to launch in the summer of 2024, Utopia of the Seas ℠ will be the sixth Oasis Class ship, Royal Caribbean's class of ships packed with adventure and entertainment. The new ship will focus on three- and four-night cruises from its year-round home port in Port Canaveral, with onboard upgrades that include reimagined pool decks, a Giovanni's℠ Italian Kitchen that spans two decks (try the osso buco!) and the new Pesky Parrot tiki bar, serving fruity cocktails on the Royal Promenade. This itinerary  to the Bahamas on Utopia of the Seas ℠ is the best for a long weekend exploring the highlights of The Bahamas, with a day in Nassau followed by a day at Perfect Day at CocoCay , Royal Caribbean's private island destination.

2. Best For Beach Lovers

This exquisite itinerary to the Southern Caribbean on Adventure of the Seas ® routes you to the farthest corner of the Caribbean for some of its best beaches. Sailing on the Adventure of the Seas ® for eight nights from Port Canaveral, you'll stop in ports such as Oranjestad, Aruba; Willemstad, Curaçao; and Kralendijk, Bonaire. Each port will welcome you with easily accessible, powdery sand beaches primed for world-class swimming, snorkeling and diving. You'll have your pick of 86 dive sites at Bonaire National Marine Park with more than 350 recorded fish species known to frequent the waters.

3. Best For A European Adventure

Transatlantic sailings make for such a special vacation, and this 13-night Transatlantic Azores itinerary on Adventure of the Seas ® packs four remarkable ports into the crossing. You'll cruise the Atlantic for the first nine days, living it up on a ship that is packed with ways to play and relax. You'll arrive in idyllic Tenerife in the Canary Islands on the tenth day. Immerse yourself in the local Spanish culture by spending part of your day exploring the Museum of Nature and Archaeology or the Basilica de Candelaria shrine. The cruise continues to Lanzarote, Canary Islands, where picture-perfect colonial mansions line cobblestone streets, then on to the adventurous mountain island of Madeira, Portugal before completing your journey in the charming streets of Lisbon, Portugal.

4. Best For Private Island Getaways

This unique Port Canaveral cruise itinerary  to Bermuda and Perfect Day at CocoCay on Adventure of the Seas ® visits both of Royal Caribbean's private destinations, where paradise is just steps away from the ship. On an eight-night journey, this ship will first cruise to Labadee, the cruise line's private peninsula adventure park and beach. Soak up this private spot by relaxing on the beach, enjoy the destination's signature cocktail specialty, the Labadoozie (a fruity rum cocktail) or opt for a zip line ride that will send you soaring over the ocean. The next private island destination is Perfect Day at CocoCay, Royal Caribbean's oasis in The Bahamas. Here you'll port within short distance of pristine beaches, a thrilling water park and countless ways to unwind beneath the palm trees. There's also a stop in Bermuda, home to pink-sand beaches and rum swizzles.

5. Best For Foodies

Foodies will delight in fresh, authentic Caribbean dishes on this itinerary to the Western Caribbean and Perfect Day at CocoCay on Wonder of the Seas ® . In Cozumel, Mexico you'll find lunch specialties featuring locally caught seafood, often grouper and red snapper fried on a plate with rice and a vibrant salad. In Roatán, Honduras, ceviche is the local favorite, along with fried plantains and baleadas — tacos made with soft flour tortillas. The ship's final port is Puerto Costa Maya, Mexico, a charming fishing village where the salbutes  (fried corn tortillas topped with shredded chicken) make a great appetizer to the catch of the day, served hot off the grill.

6. Best For Variety

This seven-night Eastern Caribbean itinerary  on Wonder of the Seas ® is a top choice if you want to change things up and go on a unique adventure in each port. Your first destination is Philipsburg, St. Maarten, where you can tour the island on an ATV, sample rum from a local distillery or end the day with a sunset horseback ride on the beach. When the ship arrives in the U.S. Virgin Islands at Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, head straight to Magens Bay, often short-listed as one of the world's most beautiful beaches. Or dive into a snorkeling tour to get face time with some sea turtles and coral reefs. On your final stop, Royal Caribbean's Perfect Day at CocoCay, everyone in your group can enjoy a seemingly endless array of activities. If the beach is calling, grab a spot on one of the many cushy beach loungers close to a bar serving up island cocktails that go great with the ocean view. For the adventurous ones, Daredevil's Peak® waterslide is North America's tallest and promises an adrenaline rush.

Encompassing ports of paradise and incredible culture, Orlando cruises are the ideal vacation getaway. Start planning your island escape from Port Canaveral now .

Cruise From Orlando

STARTING FROM 

PERFECT DAY AT COCOCAY

FAMILY GETAWAY

WESTERN CARIBBEAN

Related Articles

[Infographic] What to Drink at Perfect Day at CocoCay

What’s Free Onboard Icon of the Seas | Royal Caribbean Cruises

What’s Free Onboard Radiance of the Seas | Royal Caribbean Cruises

What To Wear on a Cruise: 5 Day-to-Night Outfit Ideas

EXPLORE MORE

Previewing: Promo Dashboard Campaigns

My Personas

Code: ∅.

3 of the world's biggest cruise ships soon will battle for supremacy out of Miami

Get ready for the Battle of the Cruise Ship Giants out of Miami.

Fast-growing MSC Cruises on Thursday officially announced its North America schedule for the summer of 2025, including a Miami deployment that will set the stage for an epic matchup between three of the world's biggest cruise vessels.

As part of the announcement, MSC Cruises confirmed that its soon-to-debut MSC World America would sail from Miami from April 2025 through at least October 2025. This will place it in a head-to-head matchup with Royal Caribbean 's just-unveiled Icon of the Seas and Carnival Cruise Line 's one-year-old Carnival Celebration .

For more cruise news, guides and tips, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

All three of the vessels will be the biggest in their respective fleets.

Scheduled to begin sailing in April 2025, MSC World America will be the world's seventh-biggest cruise ship when it debuts and the biggest MSC Cruises ship ever deployed to North America. Unveiled in January, Icon of the Seas is the world's biggest cruise ship .

Dating to November 2022, Carnival Celebration is the world's 14th biggest cruise ship.

For the summer of 2025, both MSC World America and Icon of the Seas will sail from Miami on Saturdays on seven-night trips to the Caribbean. Carnival Celebration will sail out of Miami on Sundays on six- to eight-night trips to the Caribbean .

As confirmed on Thursday, MSC World America will operate alternating itineraries to the Eastern Caribbean and Western Caribbean.

• Eastern Caribbean voyages will bring stops at Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic; San Juan, Puerto Rico; and Ocean Cay, MSC Cruises' private island in the Bahamas.
• Western Caribbean sailings will stop at Costa Maya and Cozumel in Mexico; Roatan, Honduras; and Ocean Cay.

Icon of the Seas will rotate among four different itineraries across the Eastern and Western Caribbean that bring visits to such destinations as St. Thomas; St. Maarten (the Dutch side of the island of St. Martin); Roatan; and Costa Maya and Cozumel, Mexico.

Related: Yikes, does Icon of the Seas really cost that much?

Carnival Celebration will mostly sail to Eastern Caribbean destinations such as St. Thomas, San Juan and Amber Cove in the Dominican Republic. It'll also operate some Southern Caribbean cruises.

The matchup between MSC World America and Icon of the Seas is particularly notable as it marks the first time vessels measuring more than 200,000 tons from two different cruise brands have competed on sailings out of a North American port.

Giants of the seas

MSC Cruises and Royal Caribbean are currently the only cruise brands in the world with ships measuring more than 200,000 tons. MSC World America is expected to measure around 216,000 tons. Icon of the Seas measures 248,663 tons. Carnival Celebration measures 183,521 tons.

All three vessels are among the most venue-filled in their respective fleets, with dozens of restaurants, bars, showrooms and over-the-top attractions on the decks.

Related: Our first impressions of the giant Icon of the Seas

MSC World America and Icon of the Seas, in particular, have several similarities, including public area venues segmented into "districts," as MSC Cruises calls them. Royal Caribbean calls them "neighborhoods."

Both ships have been designed around a central interior promenade with entertainment, shops and bars.

Among the standout features planned for MSC World America will be an Aquapark with multiple waterslides that integrate virtual reality technology. MSC Cruises also announced last week that the ship would have what's billed as the only overwater swing ride at sea; the attraction is called Cliffhanger, and it's suspended 160 feet above the water.

MSC World America will also have six pools and 14 hot tubs, making it one of the most pool-covered ships at sea.

Related: The 6 types of MSC Cruises ships, explained

As part of its Thursday announcement, MSC Cruises confirmed summer 2025 plans for three other vessels sailing out of North American ports:

• The 4,540-passenger MSC Seascape will operate three-, four- and seven-night itineraries from Miami departing on Thursdays and Sundays. Stops will include Nassau, Bahamas; San Juan; Puerto Plata; Jamaica; Grand Cayman; and Ocean Cay.
• The 4,488-passenger MSC Meraviglia will operate seven-night itineraries from New York City to Florida and the Bahamas and Bermuda, departing on Sundays. Stops on the Bahamas cruises will be Port Canaveral, Florida; Nassau; and Ocean Cay. The Bermuda cruises will bring an extended call at Bermuda's Royal Naval Dockyard.
• The 4,540-passenger MSC Seashore will operate three-, four- and seven-night itineraries from Port Canaveral with a range of port options departing Thursdays and Sundays.

All three of the vessels are among the 25 biggest cruise ships in the world.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

• The 5 most desirable cabin locations on any cruise ship
• A beginners guide to picking a cruise line
• The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
• The ultimate guide to what to pack for a cruise
• A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
• 21 tips and tricks that will make your cruise go smoothly
• Top ways cruisers waste money
• The ultimate guide to choosing a cruise ship cabin

Editorial disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are the author’s alone, not those of any bank, credit card issuer, airline or hotel chain, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities.

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

Listen to this article

Listen to more stories on curio

Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here .

MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

Explore the May 2024 Issue

Check out more from this issue and find your next story to read.

“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

Royal Caribbean's newest ship is also its priciest. Here's what it's like spending as little as possible, with no lobster or other upgrades.

• Royal Caribbean's Icon of the Seas could be an expensive vacation compared to other cruise ships.
• Sailing on the mega-ship without paying for any of its upcharged amenities is possible.
• But it would mean spending at least $265 a day, staying sober, and repeating meals.

A budget vacation on Royal Caribbean's new wildly popular Icon of the Seas is possible. Just be prepared to stay sober, repeat meals, and pay at least $265 a day.

Right now, there's likely no better example of the mass-market cruise industry's shift toward the budget airline strategy — charge a cheap base fare and offer irresistible up-charged amenities — than Royal Caribbean's new world's largest cruise liner.

After all, what other ship comes with a $100,000-a-week cabin and a $200-per-person restaurant?

But it is possible to vacation on the mega-ship without giving into any of its upcharged restaurants and activities. If you're strong enough to do so, here's what your seven nights on Icon of the Seas could look like.

Be warned: It won't include lobsters or private lounges .

Less than half of Icon’s 28 eateries are complimentary, so you’ll likely repeat meals.

Picky eaters are sure to find at least one satisfactory option at the ship's three buffets, one of which is Mexican-themed.

If not, the complimentary pizza shop or sandwiches from the two on-board cafés might suffice.

In search of variety, grab a Mediterranean-style wrap or crepe at the five-stall food hall instead.

For a more formal dinner, budget cruisers can grub on a three-course meal at the complimentary dining room.

The three-floor restaurant has a rotating menu with classics like crab cakes, New York strip steak, and cheesecake.

Just don't expect lobster or filet mignon. Both cost extra.

For better or worse, guests snubbing upcharged options would also be snubbing booze.

Like most mass-market cruise ships, Icon of the Seas' 18 bars aren't free. If you want alcohol and sodas, be prepared to pay for a beverage package.

Thankfully, the ship’s complimentary amenities could distract you from your sobriety.

Icon's surf simulator and impressive six-slide waterpark won't run you a tab.

The same goes for its seven pools and nine hot tubs — save for one of each exclusive to guests who've booked a suite.

For drier activities, families could spend their afternoons scaling the rock climbing wall or testing their putt at the nine-hole mini-golf course.

Or they could work off their lunch buffet by sweating it out at the sports court — basketball and ping pong included — for no extra charges.

Fortunately, Icon of the Seas' nighttime entertainment is also a great equalizer. Its ice skating performance, rendition of the Broadway hit "Wizard of Oz," and multi-disciplinary dance, swim, and dive show are complimentary to all guests.

But if you want to test your fear of heights at the part-walking, part-agility, part-ziplining Crown's Edge , you'll have to cough up $49.

The arcade games aren't free, either.

Guests staying in suites have access to a shared outdoor lounge.

There's also the option to pay up to $700 for one day with a private cabana-like "casita."

But if you're on a budget, you'll have to fight "pool chair hogs" for the best poolside seating instead. (Consider bringing a sheet mask with you — a 25-minute facial at the ship's spa is almost $150.)

And hold off on your Instagram photo dumps until after your vacation.

Otherwise, you'll have to cough up $31 per day and device for streaming-enabled WiFi, totaling $217 for the duration of the cruise. (Icon of the Seas is exclusively operating seven-night sailings.)

But let’s face it: The base fare alone isn’t ultra-affordable compared to other cruise ships.

Patrick Scholes, a lodging and leisure research analyst at Truist Securities, told Business Insider in late 2023, three months before Icon's launch , that the vessel was priced at a premium of "at least 50%, if not more."

Steep, compared to the typical 20% to 50% new-ship premiums.

The cheapest interior stateroom for 2024 currently costs $265 per person per day.

But even the windowless cabin comes with its own list of upgrades.

Travelers who want to pick their own stateroom must pay an additional $128 per person. If they opt for one of the larger (by at least one square foot) interior cabins, it'll be an extra $100.

Which is to say, good luck avoiding any of the upcharged amenities on your Icon of the Seas vacation .

• Main content