journey with love charity

Where is Charity Pierce From My 600-lb Life Now?

TLC’s ‘ My 600-lb Life ’ is a reality show which features morbidly obese individuals taking a chance at a weight loss regime made explicitly for them. They generally weigh around 600 lbs and go through some challenging yet life-changing journeys to reach their goal weights, documented throughout the year. To make their process smoother, they receive help from the renowned bariatric surgeon, Dr. Younan Nowzaradan or Dr. Now, from Houston, Texas, who provides a customized diet and workout plan. This can make them eligible for the coveted weight-loss surgery performed by the doctor.

There have been many patients throughout all seasons of the show, with distinct hardships as well as success stories. While some sail through the process more seamlessly, others face a much tougher road to success. One such patient who dealt with a lot, even while on the show, was Charity Pierce of season 3 in 2015. Her journey was one that not only shocked people but also touched everyone’s heart because of the many hurdles she faced. After her time on the show, viewers must be wondering where she is now. If you’re curious to know about her whereabouts, too, here’s what we found out!

Charity Pierce’s My 600-lb Life Journey

Weighing as high as 778 pounds at the age of 39, Charity Pierce was leading a difficult life, depending on her then-fiancé and daughter for all kinds of work. She not only needed help to get up from bed and go to the bathroom but also used a portable toilet since she couldn’t fit in a regular one. It was devastating for Charity as the excess fat had spread through her body to places out of her body shape, making it difficult for her to function. She revealed that her weight gain stemmed from her childhood because of her abusive and drunk father.

The complicated childhood experiences made Charity find solace in food whenever there was a tense situation in her home, making her uncontrollable eating habit an escape from reality. Charity also needed an entire team of ambulance workers to help her get onto the vehicle and to Dr. Now’s hospital. She further said, “It’s just a hard process and I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’ve never had a life. So, I don’t know what I’m missing. I’m taking this risk because it’s the only opportunity I have. It’s my last resort, I have to try or I’m gonna die.”

When Charity finally met Dr. Now, he got worried looking at her situation and decided against sending her home. Instead, she was admitted to the hospital. He decided to monitor Charity’s weight loss plan of 1000-1200 calories a day to make sure she lost the weight needed for the surgery. After losing 50 pounds in three months, Charity was sent home to lose a little more weight on her own, without depending on doctors.

While Charity only lost 18 pounds after a month, it was still huge progress on her part. Thus, she got approved for gastric bypass surgery after losing some more weight in the hospital. Shortly after, Charity received a series of unfortunate news, the first of which was that her mother had passed away. She was heartbroken that she was still unfit to travel to see her mom for the last time, and that messed up her diet too.

Furthermore, Charity also found out that her then-fiancé, Tony, was cheating on her with her sister, Dusty. Despite all these setbacks, Charity got back on track by seeking therapy, getting her diet under control, and even exercising the way she was instructed. She eventually lost enough weight to have the excess skin removal surgery and also got rid of a 20-pound tumor.

Where is Charity Pierce Today?

By the end of her episode, Charity recorded a weight loss of nearly 300 pounds. Further, she continued her journey with the help of Dr. Now’s weight loss regime in Houston, Texas, and reappeared in the follow-up ‘Where Are They Now’ episode a few years later. Charity then revealed that she had lost about 500 pounds in total, keeping up her healthy streak going. She also got her daughter, Charly, to get into the weight loss regime as well, because of her slow weight gain looking at her mother’s distress.

While Charity lost a total of 513 pounds, ultimately weighing 265 pounds, Charly managed to lose 95 pounds, weighing 295 pounds. Charly added that she was glad things were improving for her mother, as the latter was no longer dependent on the former. She said that she learned from her mother not to allow her food addictions to take over her life and succeeded in reducing even more weight over the later years. As both the mother and daughter eventually moved to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Charly also got a job as a Certified Nursing Assistant at Home Health Care.

Other major life events in the life of Charity’s daughter are that she got engaged to her boyfriend, Michael Marple, in August 2021 and gave birth to a beautiful and adorable daughter, Maya, in May 2022. On the other hand, Charity bore some unfortunate news in March 2020, when she revealed that she was diagnosed with kidney cancer around Christmas of 2019.

Explaining the situation, Charity wrote, “After lots of testing and a million doctor appointments they figured out the cancer was only in my kidney. The next step was to get my kidney removed as soon as possible before it had a chance to spread to other organs in my body. So on March 2, my kidney was removed.” In September 2020, Charly gave an update on her mother, writing, “My mom’s away to better herself. She’s had some struggles but is doing great now. That’s as far as I’m going to comment about that.”

From what we can tell, Charity seems to be doing much better now. She seems to have gained a lot of confidence over the years. After sailing through the tough journey, Charity now prides herself in her transformation and self-belief and does not heed any negative comments about that. She is also a proud and loving grand-mom to her adorable granddaughter, Maya. Thus, Charity has moved ahead in her life with her massive weight loss and continues to follow the regime for stable physical health.

Read More: Is My 600-lb Life Scripted or Real?

November 02, 2023 • bachelor insider

Charity lawson reveals how she spends ‘intentional’ time with dotun olubeko amid ‘dwts’ journey.

Thriving love.

Bachelor Nation fans saw Charity Lawson and Dotun Olubeko fall in love and get engaged on Season 20 of “The Bachelorette.”

Since their time on the show, the two have been enjoying time together with their family and friends and living in Los Angeles during Charity’s time on “Dancing with the Stars.”

During a recent Q&A, Charity opened up about finding quality time to spend with her fiancé amid her “DWTS” journey.

A fan asked if she and Dotun get to hang out much with having so much dance practice and show prep.

She said, “Yes!!! I try to be as intentional as I am with dancing as I am with my relationship. He is the most supportive in this chapter of life for us and for that alone I’m the most grateful. With a rigorous schedule, I try to squeeze in moments for us to enjoy together.”

Charity went on, saying, “I’m tired as hell, but you make time for the things you want and care about. A couple of weeks ago, we went to the movies for the first time as a couple since living together because we were in hiding for so long.”

The former Bachelorette also revealed how she’s enjoying the “Dancing with the Stars” experience so far.

She said, “I LOVE IT. This experience is like no other. So much fun, but SO much work goes into it behind the scenes. I’m learning so much about myself and my body and pushing myself to new limits every week. It has its ups and downs, but overall, this is the best thing I could’ve done for myself to grow as a person. Show days are the most rewarding and best part.”

Another fan asked whether Artem or Dotun a better dancer, and Charity shared a hilarious video of Dotun dancing.

She wrote, “This should answer your question, I would pay money for a dance off!”

Someone also asked the former Bachelorette if she’s watching “Bachelor in Paradise” this season and she said yes.

Charity wrote, “I sure have been! Feet kicked up every Thursday watching my friends act a plum fool — great TV if you ask me! I’m stepping down on the beach this week… foolishness!”

We love seeing Charity and Dotun so happy, and we love watching her thrive on “DWTS”!

Make sure to keep tuning in and voting for our girl each week!

See Charity Lawson’s Jaw-Dropping ‘Little Mermaid’ Performance on ‘Dancing with the Stars’

See Charity Lawson’s Emotional ‘DWTS’ Dance About Finding the ‘Love of My Life’ that Earned Her a 10

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Charity Lawson Gets Engaged in 'The Bachelorette' Season 20: 'A Man That I Can Love Forever'

Charity Lawson entered the last leg of her journey with Dotun and Joey — and needed to decide whether she should welcome back Aaron

Craig Sjodin/ABC via Getty

Warning: This post contains spoilers from Monday's finale of The Bachelorette .

A grand finale in Fiji!

Monday’s Bachelorette finale opened with Charity Lawson having to decide whether to accept Aaron back after being eliminated following hometowns .

“I did not want to say goodbye to this man,” Charity, 27, admitted in an on-camera interview. “It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

Charity asked Aaron, 29, what he wanted out of returning.

“I can’t say enough how much I see in you and our future,” Aaron said to Charity. “I still see you as my wife, I still see you as the mother of my children."

Aaron also said to Charity that he had “a lot more that I’ve been wanting to show you.”

Ricky Middlesworth/ABC

Charity felt compelled to keep Aaron around. “My gut is telling me that I owe it to this man to give him time, give himself time, to not give up right now on what we actually have built,” she told the cameras.

Charity then delivered the news to Aaron. “I would absolutely love it if you would stay,” she said to the software salesman before suggesting they get dinner and hang out in her room.

At the beginning of their date, Charity proposed a toast to “a hard reset.”

They chatted and kissed, and by the end of the night, Charity found herself “reconsidering everything."

“I knew how much I regretted my decision last time,” Charity added in an on-camera interview.

ROSE CEREMONY

At the rose ceremony, Aaron convened with Joey and Dotun, to their surprise.

“What’s going on?” Joey, 27, asked the cameras. “Aaron’s here, Xavier’s not…”

Charity explained to them that inviting Aaron to stay after he surprised her in Fiji “was difficult but it was necessary.”

She proceeded to give Joey the first rose, but pulled Aaron aside.

“I know I expressed having regrets with last week and I am so grateful for this time that we had this week to just I guess get more clarity,” Charity said to Aaron. “As like, unfortunate as it is, it’s just time wasn't on our side and where we needed it to be.”

So Charity bid farewell to Aaron again.

“Charity, I’m always in your corner,” Aaron said before leaving.

Charity said in an on-camera interview that Aaron’s connection fell behind where she stood with Dotun and Joey.

“It just truly, honestly wasn't going to be enough to proceed or surpass where I stood with Joey and Dotun,” she said.

Charity went back in to see Joey and Dotun and informed them that she’d be moving forward with the two of them.

In the studio with Jesse Palmer , Aaron said he couldn’t not fight for Charity.

“I knew in this confided environment that you have to put your best foot forward,” Aaron said. “And yeah, I was not going to give up.”

Jesse, 44, announced that Aaron will be looking for love again on Bachelor in Paradise season 9 when it premieres next month.

JOEY MEETS CHARITY’S FAMILY

Before Joey met Charity’s parents and sister, the Bachelorette told the cameras she needed her family’s help to make the tough decision between him and Dotun.

“I can’t decide which direction I’m going to move forward in,” Charity said. “I’m going to need help.”

Joey worried about messing up with Charity’s family.

Craig Sjodin/abc

“Joey has his unique ability to just truly make me feel so seen, so validated and truly has swept me off my feet,” Charity said to her family.

Joey gushed about Charity to her sister Mia. “There’s no doubt in my mind that I’m in love with your sister and that I’ll be able to protect her and love her and make her feel special every day,” he said.

Joey asked Mia what she thought about Charity being in an interracial relationship.

“It’s not a point of race," Mia said. "For us, it’s about love.”

Mia left the conversation feeling confident about Joey. “I feel very confident in his love for Charity,” she told the cameras.

Then Joey spoke with Charity’s mom Vickie. She later told Charity, “I think Joey could be the one.”

DOTUN MEETS CHARITY’S FAMILY

Dotun opened up with Charity’s family by describing his relationship with her as “so strong.”

“I definitely never felt like this in my life with anybody,” Dotun continued.

Vickie saw Dotun as a “very genuine” and “very honest" person.

“I feel that Dotun checks the boxes,” Vickie said, adding that she thought Dotun seemed to be Charity’s typical type.

Mia asked Dotun if he would be willing to make sacrifices for Charity if they ended up together.

“I look at her as a once-in-a-lifetime kind of person, I really do,” Dotun said. “And so, you know, not getting to the end of this would be devastating to me. I put it in that regard. I don’t know if I’ll ever find a type of love like this and so that makes any sacrifice worth it.”

While Vickie told Charity she thought her sister and Dotun “have a certain chemistry,” Vickie thought Joey had his pluses too.

“Joey makes you glow,” Vickie said. “He does. Like, I could see I you have more PDA with him.”

Charity hoped to leave the day with more clarity.

“The day that my family had with Dotun did not go as planned,” she said in an on-camera interview. “The reality is, I’m not where I should be at in my decision making and I still don’t have the clarity that I personally want to have. I’m really not okay.”

After Dotun left, Charity urged her family to help her make a decision.

“Both Joey and Dotun are amazing individuals,” Mia said to Charity. “I think with Joey, I like the fact that he’s not afraid to address difficult issues. That’s very important. Dotun, he’s super intentional. He definitely has your best interests at heart and he’s willing to sacrifice. We trust that you will make the ultimate decision.”

Vickie added, “Either one would be a great, great, great choice.”

Charity pushed to find out if anyone had a preference between the two men, but Vickie didn’t want to name names. Charity and Vickie spoke outside, and her mom still wouldn’t cough up a name.

“For the first time I think in all this, I’m like truly not okay,” Charity told the cameras.

LAST DATE WITH JOEY

Joey and Charity kicked off their final date with a champagne toast and recapped how well his meeting with her family went.

Charity told Joey her family “cannot stop raving about you,” and Joey said he hoped to show, not tell, her loved ones how much he cared for her.

Then Joey gave her a gift, a framed poem, the one they had written in New Orleans.

“It’s everything,” Charity said of the gift.

Joey said he felt good, and so did Charity. “I got all that I needed,” she said to Joey.

Joey felt confident about his future with Charity.

“I’m going to propose to charity,” he said in an on-camera interview. “I have no doubts about that. And I’m going to be engaged in a couple of days to a woman that I’m in love with.”

LAST DATE WITH DOTUN

Charity also started her final date with Dotun with a champagne toast.

“Cheers to what has been one of the most rewarding journeys of my life,” Dotun said. “Cheers to the potential that we may have and that we get the fairy-tale ending that we both deserve.”

Dotun had a gift for Charity in the form of mementos from different steps of their journey, including s’mores — a reference to their Washington date — and a locket with their baby pictures, as seen on their hometown.

“You are my treasure,” Dotun said to Charity.

Charity told Dotun she had a hard decision to make because her date with Joey went well, too.

“There’s two strong connections, so I’m nervous, very nervous,” Dotun said. “But it’s obviously, the decision’s up to you. But again, I trust whatever decision you make. I really do. I just want you to be happy.”

ABC/Ricky Middlesworth

PROPOSAL DAY WITH JOEY

Charity went into proposal day still in love with two people.

But before Joey stepped out of the van, she told the cameras, “He deserves so much, but I have to let him go.”

Joey wanted to give the Neil Lane engagement ring he picked out to Charity. “I feel really good about how this is going to be,” Joey said in an on-camera interview.

When Joey and Charity came face to face, he talked about how much the New Orleans poem “made us realize how real our feelings were for one another.”

“I stand here right now very confident that it hasn’t just been your story, it’s turned into our own beautiful love story that we can look back on and be confident in,” Joey continued. “And I really just can’t wait to see what comes next.”

Charity gushed about her relationship with Joey.

“People search their whole lives looking for something like this, and when I look into your eyes, I am reminded of how you’ve always put me first and you’ve been very consistent in the love that you’ve shown and those things, I’ve never experienced before,” Charity said. “I never doubted, never questioned how deep our love is. I know it’s there and I feel it. But...”

In that moment, Joey realized Charity didn’t want to spend forever with him.

“I found love that’s deeper with someone else,” Charity said to Joey. “And it won’t make sense in this moment and it’s hard. It’s hard to get these words out because the truth is, Joey, that I am in love with you.”

Charity apologized but Joey told her not to. After they parted ways, Joey told the cameras how he pictured their lives together and how badly he wanted to find love.

“I want love bad,” he said. “I think it’s just showing me how badly I want to be with someone else and get an opportunity to share life with them because that’s all I can think of. I just want to ask the universe, when is it going to happen to me?”

Back in the studio, Jesse reunited Charity and Joey for the first time since their breakup. Charity reiterated how dumping Joey was “not an easy decision by any means."

“The love will always be there and it’s in my heart and I have that at this point for you,” Charity said to Joey.

Joey felt similarly. “You were the reason the why,” he said. “This was your story. As I said that day, I felt lucky to be a part of it.”

PROPOSAL DAY WITH DOTUN

Dotun began his final moments with Charity on the show by recounting their journey together.

“You have been able to make me feel so incredibly special,” Dotun said to Charity. “You have made me feel adored and validated and wanted. And to receive that from a woman of your caliber, Charity, I don’t think you understand what that means to me. But I’m certain that I want to spend the rest of my life showing you.”

Charity pointed to their time in Oceanside, California as when she saw their connection really start to bloom.

“We shared that incredibly special moment that changed my life truly forever,” she said. “When I looked in your eyes in that moment, I saw the man that respected me, that valued me, that adored me, but a man that I can love forever.”

Dotun saw forever, too.

“The love that we have is perfect,” he said. “And so, Ms. Charity Lawson, would you do me the honor of turning the fairytale into a reality?”

Dotun proceeded to drop to one knee and ask, “Ms. Charity Lawson, will you marry me?”

She said "yes" and they kissed. Then Charity sealed the deal by giving Dotun her final rose.

During After the Final Rose , Charity told Jesse she and Dotun "are feeling over the moon."

"Love Is just not enough of a word to describe how I feel about her," Dotun said.

Jesse surprised the couple with a trip to Greece, and then Dotun shocked Charity by informing her that her ABC journey will continue when she competes on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars this fall.

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The Bachelorette aired live on ABC.

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The Bachelorette finale recap: Our queen finds her king

Charity Lawson ended her "journey" to find "love" with the man of her dreams.

Kristen Baldwin is the TV critic for EW

Every once in a while, The Bachelorette gives us a happy ending we can believe in.

Let's recap!

After host (and daddy-to-be ) Jesse Palmer welcomes us to the Tealight Candle Thunderdome, where he informs us that tonight we'll meet the new Bachelor — and one "lucky" woman will be plucked from the audience to date him, or something. (More on that later.) With that, the action picks up where we left off on the August 7th episode: Aaron's back! And Charity is so stressed out, she's having acid reflux. "I care so much about him," says the Bachelorette. "This is insane. What are we gonna do?"

I dunno, send him home again? Aaron says he would "love to stay," and he seems genuine. But I'll be honest — at this point in Charity's "journey," you are not going to convince me that she'll keep him over Joey or Dotun. Even after she invites him to have dinner with her that night in her room. And even after this:

As for that dinner, it goes fine. Neither of them eats, of course (was there even any food?), but they have a pleasant conversation with plenty of smooches. The night ends with Charity saying she has "a lot to think about and a lot to process."

Dotun and Joey are also going to have a lot to process the next day at the rose ceremony, because they're walking in expecting to see Xavier — and instead in walks Aaron. The look on Joey's face is priceless.

Charity, you've got some explaining to do! And that's just what the Bachelorette does. "It's also been a very eventful week," she says. "Aaron showed up in hopes of just continuing to fight… I value and I cherish every single one of you all no matter what." All rightie then. Rose ceremony roll call!

Joey gets the first rose, and then… Wait what? Did Charity just say Aaron's name? She sure did, rose lovers. But it's followed by, "Can you come with me?" Yep, she's taking him out to the Bye-Bye Bench to dump him for a second time.

"I'm so grateful for this time that we had this week," says the Bachelorette. "Time wasn't on our side in where we needed to be." I love Charity, but this is pretty annoying. She had to know there was no way she was going to keep him around, so why waste his — and our — time with this charade? And don't say "because producers told her to," because I think we know by now that this woman does take orders from anyone.

Once again, poor Aaron is devastated, but he remains gracious and polite. "You just gave me hope for what my wife even looked like," he says, tears streaming down his face. "Charity, I'm always in your corner." Awwww, that's very sweet. Good luck out there, sir.

And so, the second rose goes to Dotun, who — bless him — looked like he never doubted that Charity would keep him around. Why would he? As his grandma said during their hometown date , these two are bonded from Heaven.

Look at this final two!

Well done, Ms. Lawson. Well done.

At this point, we cut back to the Tealight Candle Thunderdome, where Aaron — looking dapper in a purple (mauve?) suit — is waiting on the Hot Seat. Palmer asks him how hard it was to fly all the way out to Fiji only to face rejection again. "I'll tell you what, that 12-hour flight was the hardest part," says Aaron with a chuckle. "I was thinking the whole time there, 'What's going to happen?'" Aaron adds that he's "never put myself out there like that before," but he was also "not going to give up."

Neither are producers: They're sending Aaron to Bachelor in Paradise ! He seems a little too strait-laced for that beach, but whatever.

Back to Charity's "journey." It's time to meet the family, boys! Charity's mom, Vickie, her dad, David, and her sister, Mia are there to greet her in Fiji. (Alas, Nehemiah is absent.) The Bachelorette informs her family that she's in love with both Joey and Dotun, and immediately Vickie is on high alert. "When Charity said what she said about being in love with two people, it makes me feel uncomfortable," says mom, who notes that her daughter is not super "comfortable" with the concept of "decisiveness." Oh, boy. This should be interesting.

Joey's up first, and he's feeling confident. "To be honest, coming into this, I think she is thinking about choosing me as the person that she wants to be with," he says. "I just have those feelings from the conversations we have." Who can blame him? The Bachelorette is completely giddy around him, and it doesn't go unnoticed by her family. "I saw a connection in Charity and Joey when they sat down," says Vickie.

Mia sits down with Joey first, and she wants to know what he and Charity have in common. He says they both value family, which always seems like a cop-out answer to me, but whatever. I do appreciate that Joey brings up the topic of interracial relationships rather than leaving it for Mia to address first. "I love it," says Mia. "It's not a point of race. For us, it's about love, it's about heart, and about her being protected. So, if you're the right person, we have no problem with it." She adds that she's glad that Joey brought it up and seems to appreciate his assertion that the whole "I don't see color" assertion is "ignorant."

From there, Joey is off to have a one-on-one chat with Vickie. "My feelings for Charity are very real," he says. Mom wants to know what Joey likes about her daughter. "She makes me feel like I can be the best version of myself," says Joey. Mom LOVES it. "Upon your arrival today, I just see you as a very genuine person," says Vickie. "That makes me a little bit at ease as well." Okay, that's two "genuines" — one from mom and one from sis.

Unfortunately, we don't get to see much of David's conversation with Joey — just a brief glimpse of them discussing the NFL draft. But mom is feeling good about the day. "Joey fits in with our family just fine," says Vickie. "I think Joey could be the one."

Hold up, mama! There's still one more man to meet, and he's a keeper, too. But first, another detour to the Thunderdome, where Palmer "randomly" picks a woman from the audience — could she be the one who will be chosen to date the new Bachelor next season?

This is Leia, a lovely 23-year-old from O'ahu, Hawaii, who now lives in Los Angeles. She moved to California in hopes of having a wider dating pool than she had in Hawaii, but "it didn't get better," she tells Jesse. Hmmm… she's from Hawaii, and Joey is based in Hawaii… is this a hint that Joey is the Bachelor?

We'll have to put a pin in that question, rose lovers, because it's time to go back to Fiji. Charity still has no idea which guy she's going to pick, and she needs her family to offer a little guidance. Vickie, for one, is trying to keep an open mind. "I had such a strong connection with Joey, and that's my true feeling at this point," she says. "But it could be changed."

During his conversation with Vickie, Dotun says his connection with Charity has "come in stages," and that he's known he's in love with her for several weeks. "I'm a ruthlessly introspective person and I check in with myself every day," he continues. "I look for the holes in myself, and I haven't found any. And that is why I have so much trust and confidence in my relationship with Charity."

Dotun is obviously a little nervous, and though everything he's saying is clearly genuine and thoughtful, he's just not coming across as easy-going and comfortable as Joey did. That might be why mom is still leaning toward the tennis pro. She tells us that Dotun is the type of man Charity typically goes for, and "any time something is very familiar, that's easy." And she says as much to her daughter.

Specifically, Vickie tells Charity that in her opinion, she has more "pep in her step" with Joey than she does with Dotun — and the Bachelorette does NOT love it. "This is not something that necessarily sits well with me," says Charity. "My mind is really going a million places."

Maybe Mia will be able to give Charity the guidance that she needs?

"Joey makes you glow," says Mia. "I can see you have more PDA with him. But you laugh a lot with Dotun, real hard."

This really throws Charity for a loop. "I wasn't expecting that," she says. Does this mean she was leaning toward Dotun and was hoping her family would reinforce that choice? Maybe. Probably? Seeing that Charity is about to start crying, Mia rushes to add that she could see a relationship with Charity and Dotun working out. "I just have to get to know him a little bit better for myself," says Mia. "But I can see it."

Sorry, Charity, but you are just going to have to make this choice on your own. And girl, you're in a win-win situation here. As much as the Romance Industrial Complex likes to tell us that we all have just one soulmate, the reality is that there is more than one lid for every pot. Personally, I think she and Dotun are better suited for each other, but my opinion doesn't change the fact that Charity and Joey would probably have a very happy relationship, too.

Anyhow, after Dotun leaves, Charity goes back in to push her family for answers. "I'm literally a car stuck in mud. My wheels are turning," she frets. "I need someone to come give me a nice gentle push."

Unfortunately for our Bachelorette, her family is understandably not willing to free her from this emotional mud pit. "Either one would make a great, great, great choice," says Vickie. "However, you have to make the decision." Mom adds that she's not going to "do the comparison" because she doesn't want to hurt her daughter — and also, because she knows no one can choose a spouse for Charity but Charity. "We are going to support you in any decision you make," says David. But that's cold comfort for Charity, who is truly flailing. "When I leave you guys, I'm on my own," she sobs. "Mom, can you please share, like, just more thoughts?"

Short answer: No. "I don't want to say names," insists Vicki. Charity pulls her outside, thinking maybe mom will be more forthcoming without cameras in her face. She is not.

"But you've got to make that decision," Vickie continues. "Charity, you have to say it." It's tough for the Bachelorette to hear, but Vickie speaks the truth. Her daughter is an adult, and this decision is too important to let someone else influence it. You know Vickie's thinking, "Imagine if I said Joey, and then you all break up?" Time to put your big-girl panties on and choose a husband, Miss Lawson.

But first: The last-chance dates!

Once again, Joey goes first. He and Charity pop some champagne and talk about how well his visit with her family went. And then comes the ceremonial presentation of the Pick Me Gift™:

Remember when Joey and Charity had their one-on-one in New Orleans and the curly-haired man wrote them a love poem on the spot? Joey got it framed. Awwww, that's actually very thoughtful. It's certainly better than buying a picture frame in the resort gift shop. Charity LOVES it. "I love you," she whispers. "I feel so good. I got all that I needed."

Okay then! Does this mean it's over for Dotun? Nope! But before we can go to Dotun's last-chance date, we have to stop back in the Tealight Candle Thunderdome for a Bachelor in Paradise supertease. Rachel Recchia, Hannah Brown, and Katie Thurston are on the beach! Samantha from Zach's season learns she's expecting a "poop baby"! And the introduction of something called the Paradise Truth Box! Complete (and completely sleazy) chaos. Watch the preview here:

Now, back to Dotun and Charity. The next night, Dotun arrives for his last-chance date, and Charity says she's still "completely torn." They talk about Dotun's visit with Charity's family ("Mama Vickie had one eyebrow raised the entire conversation," he jokes), and then it's time for his Pick Me Gift™ — or really, gifts.

Yes, it's a keepsake trip down memory lane. The s'smores they shared at Skamania Lodge, the Fantasy Suite key, the immigration card he showed her during their first "real" conversation at the mansion, and so on. The final gift is a silver locket containing a baby photo of each of them. Oh man, that's adorable.

"The feeling he gives me is indescribable," says Charity. "But… my love for Joey is a love that is strong." In this moment, on the eve of proposals, Charity is overwhelmed and completely confused. She says as much to Dotun, adding that her final date with Joey is what's adding to her confusion. It's the first time she's ever talked about any of the other men with him, and it makes him nervous. "I'm actually kind of surprised," he says. "Yeah, kinda scary."

Welp, rose lovers, it's all over but the crying. Oh, and the Neil Lane product placement, of course. Here's Dotun's pick:

And here's Joey's:

Subtlety has never been Mr. Lane's strong suit.

It's proposal day, and our queen arrives looking, as Jesse Palmer puts it, "absolutely enchanting."

"I'm emotional right now," she tells the host. "It's been tough." Still, Charity finally knows who she needs to send home. "He deserves so much," she says. "But I have to let him go." And the unlucky fella is…

Awww, man. Poor guy. He has no idea what's about to hit him. Once at the Proposal Platform, he launches into his preamble ("I stand here now very confident that it hasn't just been your story — it's turned into our own beautiful love story"), and then comes the most painful moment: He starts to kneel, and she stops him.

Oof, what a punch in the gut. And yet, Joey keeps smiling, trying to stay composed while Charity lets him down gently. "I never doubted, never questioned how deep our love is," she says. "But…" At that "but," Joey nods his head, because he knew where this was going. "It's okay," he whispers, as Charity tearfully informs him that she found a "deeper love" with someone else. "Can I give you a hug?" he asks.

"My love for you is truly never going to go away," says the Bachelorette. "I want your happiness." Joey assures her that all he wants is for her to be happy as well, and they share another tearful hug. "Don't be sorry," he says, finally letting a tear roll down his cheek. "I'll always have love for you, Charity." With that, he climbs into the Reject Van.

Rose lovers, I know we've had our concerns in the past about Joey's authenticity, but I'm firmly back in the tennis pro's camp. Maybe I'm a sucker, maybe I'll be proven wrong, but I think Joey is a nice guy who really did think he was in love with Charity. And even though the man is clearly the next Bachelor (more on that in a bit), I choose to believe he was not auditioning this whole time.

Of course, you know what happens next.

Yep, we're back in the Thunderdome, where Joey has just watched his own dumping on a giant screen in front of a live audience. "It's raw, you know. That's the first time I've ever seen it," he says. "Truthfully, I blacked out during that time. I don't even remember a lot of that. It's something that you never think you're going to go to go through." Still, Joey is "eager" to see Charity and have another conversation with her now that emotions aren't running so high.

"I've been waiting for this opportunity to speak to you," he says, after the Bachelorette arrives on stage. "Just know how appreciative I am of everything, but I also want to see how you're doing because that's what I care most about." Charity, who just watched their break-up for the first time, too, says reliving that moment was hard. "It was not an easy decision by any means," she admits. "I was constantly going back and forth leading up to those hours… I left you with what I said in that moment, which is that I will almost have so much respect and love for you."

Man, are these two having the smoothest TV break-up ever? The audience keeps bursting into applause because they're just so relieved that Joey is no longer crying and Charity seems happy with her choice.

Okay, Dotun — you're up!

"You have been able to make me feel so incredibly special," says Dotun. "You have made me feel adored and validated and wanted. And to receive that from a woman of your caliber, Charity, I don't you will ever understand what that means to me. But I'm certain that I want to spend the rest of my life showing you."

Now it's Charity's turn to speak, and she begins by telling Dotun about how their one-on-one conversation in Oceanside changed her life. "When I looked in your eyes in that moment, I saw a man that respected me, that valued me, that adored me, but a man that I could love forever," she says. The smile that broke out on Dotun's face in this moment just melted my heart.

"You've made me believe in love again," adds the Bachelorette. "I want a forever future with you." Okay, big guy, start lowering yourself to the ground. It's your time to shine!

He gets down on one knee. "Miss Charity Lawson, will you marry me?" Rose lovers, you know she says yes. She wraps him in her arms, sobbing. "I love you so much!" Eventually, Dotun slips the ring on Charity's finger, and Charity pins the final rose on his lapel. Look at how adorable these two are.

You guys, I kind of think they might really make it work. What has this season done to my cynical, hollowed-out husk of a heart? How will I type the rest of this recap through my ridiculously happy tears?

Producers must have heard my pleas, because they immediately cut to the Thunderdome so Palmer could interview another potential Bachelor contestant. Meet Annie, a "certified life coach":

"I would love to be on The Bachelor ," says Annie, "because as anyone who knows me knows, I am a hopeless romantic." Well, being on the show would fulfill the "hopeless" part, at least.

Of course, just when I thought I was done crying, it's time to welcome our happy couple:

"We are feeling over the moon," gushes Charity. "We've wanted everyone to see our love." Dotun, meanwhile, says he was just "somewhat certain" that Charity would choose him on the final day, and he tried to go into the proposal with a "level-headed" mindset. "It was this feeling of either knowing that I was going to get the greatest thing in my life that I really wanted or being devastated and heartbroken," he explains. "That's a weird mix of feelings to feel."

Sweet boy, don't you know this show specializes in producing weird feelings? As for Charity's family, they're sitting in the audience and seem pleased with her choice. "I'm happy, I'm very happy for them," says mama Vickie. "I've seen the journey and I've gotten to know Dotun a little bit better, so yes I'm very happy." (Phew! Thank goodness we didn't have to endure another Barb-Madison situation .)

Palmer presses the couple on when they might get married ("sooner rather than later"), and then drops this bombshell: "We're sending you on a pre-honeymoon trip to Greece!" Oh, but the host isn't done with the surprises yet. He turns it over to Dotun, who offers THIS bombshell: "You're going to be on Dancing With the Stars , baby, let's go!" The best part about this announcement is watching Grocery Joe, who's sitting in the Thunderdome audience, get a flash of PTSD from his own disastrous time on DWTS .

At long, long, long last, it's time to meet our new Bachelor… Joey Graziadei ! Sure, we just saw him get his heart broken on TV, but the tennis pro says he is definitely Ready to Find Love Again™. "You have to take some time to get a little bit of closure. Watching Dotun and Charity's connection was enough for me," explains Joey. "It was nice to be able to see someone so special be with her." The experience, he adds, "opened up a part of me that wanted something so bad."

Now that he's ready to prioritize finding love, Joey says he wants someone who challenges him, someone to "do life with," someone who he can "truthfully be a partner with." His advice to the women who want to join him on his "journey" to find "love" is simple: Just "be themselves."

Well, Joey, the first woman to take that advice is sitting in the audience RIGHT NOW. It's finally time to reveal which woman will be heading to the mansion for The Bachelor season 28. And the "winner" is… Leia from Hawaii! She comes up on stage, where Palmer makes her stand next to Joey and make awkward chit-chat while he lurks on the side like "the creep eavesdropping in." Leia tells Joey that she thinks they have "a lot in common" and she's "excited" to explore a relationship. Plus, she's homesick for Hawaii — and he lives in Hawaii! It's a match made in TV heaven, right? Joey tells Leia she's "beautiful," and he graciously praises her for her poise under such unusual, live-TV pressure.

Did you think Palmer was done with the surprises? Don't be silly.

That's right, Leia! Next season on The Bachelor , they're doing Fantasy Suites in the first round! Just kidding, rose lovers. No idea what's in this envelope Palmer just handed Leia. The host says it's not a date card, but it will help Leia on her "journey" with Joey — and it will "absolutely change everything." Alas, she has to wait until stepping into the mansion on night one to open it, so here's hoping we all remember this in January when The Bachelor returns.

Welp, rose lovers, we made it. Are you happy Charity chose Dotun? Will you be watching her on Dancing With the Stars ? And are you already traumatized by hearing the phrase "poop baby" in the Paradise preview? Let me know your thoughts on Twitter @KristenGBaldwin . And as always, thanks for taking this "journey" with me!

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'brady bunch' star christopher knight shares inside stories from beloved sitcom.

Actor Christopher Knight returns to Massachusetts to raise money for charity helping people with spinal cord injuries

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Everyone knows him as "Peter Brady," but there is much more to actor Christopher Knight than meets the eye.

Knight is back in Massachusetts for a charity event to support Journey Forward , an organization that helps those with spinal cord injuries. When he met the nonprofit's founder, Dan Cummings, he knew he had to get involved.

"If you ever want to use the word 'hero,' somebody that's heroic, it's him," Knight said. "I wouldn't have that attitude if I had been through what he's been through."

Cummings founded Journey Forward after being told he'd never walk again after his own spinal cord injury. He was determined to prove the experts wrong.

"I want to learn to walk again, not to be told to sit in [a wheelchair] so I don't hurt myself," Knight remembered Cummings telling him. "I can't deny that. So, how do we help you?"

During a visit to WCVB before the charity event, Knight also shared "Brady Bunch" memories with NewsCenter 5's Maria Stephanos — including what makes him want to help charitable organizations like Journey Forward.

"I was taught very early and very well by Florence," he said, referring to his TV mom Florence Henderson. "She was a role model. Maybe because I was influenced by her as a kid, a lot of that seeped in and stays with me to this day. She was good with her fans, she was respectful, she was funny, she was human. She was a good person."

Knight also shared his favorite episode of the beloved sitcom — and it's not what many fans may think.

"Every one of us answers the same episode. It's the Hawaii episodes," he said. "The favorite episodes for us were not what you watched, but what happened behind the camera, our experience of doing it."

As for what gives the show its staying power five decades later, Knight was quick to offer a theory.

"Its simplicity," he said. "Because inside all of us, no matter how complicated we become, we wish for it to be simple. So, we can escape back into our childhood through the Bradys."

Knight will be at King's in Dedham on Thursday, May 9, for a casino night to benefit Journey Forward. Find out more here: tickets .

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How to communicate with charity: When honesty meets kindness

Sad woman having conversation with friend

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In her celebrated book The Human Condition , Hannah Arendt observed that even the most mundane interactions hold the potential to cause harm. Pain and evil are sadly part of our everyday lives. From an unintentional brush past a stranger in a crowded subway car to a careless word, we inevitably encounter one another in ways that can cause friction, and perhaps even enmity.

Yet as Christians, we are called to navigate these situations with charity — a love that goes beyond mere affection. But how do we balance this call with the need for honesty? Can we be honest without offending? The answer is yes, of course. Here are some communication tips, rooted in Christian values, that promote understanding and peace.

Active listening: The foundation of love

Media has somehow gotten us used to one-sided communication. And still, communication is supposed to be a two-way street. Active listening, a cornerstone of loving communication, involves truly focusing on the other person . This means putting our own thoughts and judgments on hold, making eye contact, and offering verbal cues (including the occasional “uh-huh” or “I see”) to show that we are indeed engaged. By actively listening, we make the other person feel heard and understood.

Empathy: Walk in another’s shoes

Hard as it sometimes is, we need to imagine the situation from the other person’s perspective. What are their experiences, feelings, and concerns? Cultivating empathy allows us to see beyond our own point of view and connect on a deeper, more human level. However, it is important to note that empathy does not mean condoning someone else’s actions, but rather acknowledging their feelings .

“I” statements: Owning our feelings

Speaking of feelings, instead of accusatory language (“You always do this!”), “I” statements allow us to express our thoughts and needs in a non-threatening way . For example, “I feel hurt when…” is much more constructive than “Man, you’re so insensitive!”

Assertiveness: Standing up for ourselves with respect

Assertiveness doesn’t mean aggression . It’s about communicating our needs and boundaries clearly and respectfully . Imagine a situation where a friend keeps canceling plans. We can assert ourselves by using an “I” statement such as, “I value our time together and it disappoints me when plans change at the last minute.”

Love does not always mean silence

Sometimes honesty is necessary. But love is the guiding light . We don’t have to be “brutally honest.” There is always a way to communicate truth with kindness. Consider the parables of Jesus. He masterfully used stories (like the Prodigal Son or the Good Samaritan) to convey complex and oftentimes harsh truths without being violent or distasteful. We can emulate this by framing our message constructively and offering solutions.

Remember that communication is an art form. There will be times when a direct approach is best, while other situations call for more gentle persuasion. The key is to prioritize love , always seeking to build bridges of understanding rather than walls of resentment

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How Faith Relates to Hope and Charity

There is a legendary account of a mother and her three beautiful daughters who suffered martyrdom during the reign of Emperor Hadrian. It was claimed that the mother, the Roman matron Sophia (Wisdom), and her three daughters, Pistis, Elpis, and Agape (Faith, Hope, and Charity), underwent martyrdom for the sake of their Christian faith and were interred on the Aurelian Way. Although we don’t know much beyond scanty pieces of information alleged to be about them, I am inspired by their names to think about how the grace of martyrdom flows from faith, hope, and charity. In this chapter we will consider the connection between faith, hope, and charity in our Christian journey.

St. Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, describes the gradations of these virtues and concludes by emphasizing that love is the greatest of them all: “So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). The blessed apostle gave several examples clarifying that faith without charity is nonsalvific, but he did not explicitly talk about the connection among the three virtues. That will be our project here, in order to help us to appreciate that Christian faith and spirituality is based on the mystery of the Incarnation and connects us with one another.

Christian faith is incarnate faith. There is no faith in the abstract; rather, every person is called to participate in the mystery of the Incarnation and to live it out daily. It takes two to have faith: God and a human being. It takes two to have Christian faith: Jesus Christ and the Christian. Jesus is our hope, our salvation.

An incarnate faith is grounded in the mystery of the Incarnation — that in the fullness of time God became man in order to save us (Gal. 4:4). Jesus revealed to us the divinity of God, making it possible for us to enter into a profound relationship with Him. Jesus’ incarnate nature builds us up not only as individuals but also as a community — the Mystici Corporis , “the Mystical Body of Christ” — making it authentically and distinctly Christian.

Christian faith does not work in isolation. Christian faith means identification with and incorporation into Jesus Christ. In addition to the choice of accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become Christians when we are incorporated into Christ and His Body, the Church, through baptism, which is rightly called the first sacrament of initiation. In this sacrament we are brought into Trinitarian belonging as Christ commanded His apostles to baptize “in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 28:19). Through this incorporation, what is personal becomes ecclesial.

Christian faith is personal because it is the individual who makes a personal commitment to be a disciple of Jesus. As Pope Benedict XVI put it, “The act of faith is an eminently personal act that takes place in the most intimate depths of our being and signals a change in direction, a personal conversion. It is my life that is marked by a turning point and receives a new orientation.” Continuing, the pope states, “My belief is not the result of my own personal reflection, nor the product of my own thoughts. Rather, it is the fruit of a relationship, of a dialogue that involves listening, receiving and a response.” The personal aspect of the Christian faith relates to its subjective dimension.

This article is from “Our Journey to God.” Click image to order in paperback or as an ebook.

But the Faith is also ecclesial. To paraphrase Pope Benedict again: Every Sunday, we individually recite the Creed as the summary of “ our Faith,” not just my Faith. It is therefore the Faith of the community of believers. All through the early Church, as recorded in the Acts of the Apostles , those who accepted Jesus in their lives also became members of the way through baptism. They were faithful to the teaching of the apostles and fellow-shipped together, united in the breaking of bread and also in the life of prayer (Acts 2:41–42).

Consider the progression of the lives of the early Christians as illustrated above: There is the personal acceptance of the Word, the Trinitarian baptism, then apostolicity, communion (Eucharist), and prayer. In other words, the believers lived a sacramental life, which by its very nature is ecclesial. Thus, Christian faith is not my exclusive project or altogether built on a private conversation with Jesus. The claim to be able to “accept Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior” without belonging to the Church under the belief that “no one needs the Church to be saved as a Christian” is theological nonsense and unbiblical. To the contrary, “faith is given to me by God through the community of believers, which is the Church. It numbers me among the multitude of believers in a communion which is not merely sociological but, rather, which is rooted in the eternal love of God, who in himself is the communion of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit — who is Trinitarian Love. Our faith is truly personal only if it is also communal. It can be my faith only if it lives and moves in the ‘we’ of the Church, only if it is our faith, the common faith of the one Church.”

The ecclesial nature of faith is beautifully described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church : “ ‘Believing’ is an ecclesial act. The Church’s faith precedes, engenders, supports and nourishes our faith. The Church is the mother of all believers. ‘No one can have God as Father who does not have the Church as Mother’ (St. Cyprian, De unit . 6: PL 4, 519)” (no. 181).

Christian faith is therefore essentially communal. It neither ignores nor excludes the ecclesiae — the Church — whose head is Christ. Individualistic faith isolates itself and thus loses the core ingredient of its Christian identity. This is why true faith is essentially communal. Christian faith connects us with God and with each other. It is Christ centered and at the same time charity oriented. It inspires us to love and to relate with others as children of God. Christian faith in action is charity.

Similarly, Christian faith is teleological; it will not find its consummation until it reaches its object, God’s Truth, and its ultimate goal, eternal life. This teleological aspect of the Christian faith — that is, the idea that faith is ordered to some end or goal — makes it intricately connected with hope. Just as the work of faith is charity, its expectation is in hope.

About the teleological aspect of faith, St. Paul explains that he strives to reach the goal of the Beatific Vision:

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 3:12–14)

Faith possesses in a limited form that which is hoped for; it looks up to the final consummation in the life to come. It is like the kingdom of God, which is both now and not yet. The ultimate goal of faith — the Beatific Vision, eternal life — is not to be reached unless faith is sustained to the end. Faith alone, although it originates from God, is not sufficient in itself to reach this goal. But its foundational value is not to be ignored, for without faith, no one can please God (Heb. 11:6), and the righteous is “justified by faith” (Rom. 3:28). How then is it that faith, in itself, is not sufficient to reach the goal of the Beatific Vision?

The answer is found in Scripture, which exposes the communal and teleological dimensions of the Christian faith.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. . . . When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 Cor. 13:1–3, 11–13)

Trying to separate faith from the other two theological virtues is like choosing between the lyrics and the music of the Christian journey. James went right to the point: “Faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead” (James 2:17). And St. Thomas Aquinas’s teaching that “faith may be without charity, but not as a perfect virtue” expresses the same idea.

When Mother Teresa of Calcutta culminated her faith journey in India, her exceptional acts of love and works of faith on behalf of the people became proofs of her faith. When Charles Lwanga and his companions in Uganda graciously accepted death for their faith by extending a hand of welcome and prayer of forgiveness for their executioners, they were not only confessing their faith, but showing its connection with hope and love.

Think of the Christian missionaries from Poland, Portugal, Ireland, England, Spain, and America, who traveled to different parts of Africa during the most volatile and vulnerable days of evangelization. They were not deterred by mosquito-borne diseases and other dangers. They could not have been motivated by faith alone in exclusion of hope and love. They believed in God; they hoped in the future glory; and therefore they loved unto death.

What is hope? Our Catholic definition from the Catechism is comprehensive:

Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit. (no. 1817)

Pope Benedict XVI’s exegesis of Hebrews 11:1 — the classical biblical definition of faith — is relevant here. Hebrews tells us: “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” It shows, in unmistakable terms, the nexus between faith and hope. The key insight, as the pope reveals, is in the Greek word hypostasis , which is rendered in Latin as substantia and here as “assurance.” But this isn’t the best translation; “substance” is a better English word. The Holy Father stressed this when he wrote:

The concept of “substance” is therefore modified in the sense that through faith, in a tentative way, or as we might say “in embryo” — and thus according to the “substance” — there are already present in us the things that are hoped for: the whole, true life. And precisely because the thing itself is already present, this presence of what is to come also creates certainty: this “thing” which must come is not yet visible in the external world (it does not “appear”), but because of the fact that, as an initial and dynamic reality, we carry it within us, a certain perception of it has even now come into existence.

Correspondingly, Christian faith, like Christian hope, is not faith in progress , whose goal is the triumph of reason over religion. Faith in progress is a purely mechanical and materialistic notion of faith that evolved in response to the rise of Marxism and communism. In our age it is intertwined with economic liberalism and the prosperity gospel.

Christian faith is interwoven with hope and love. Hope sustains it, and charity makes it incarnate. Charity is “the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God” (CCC 1822).

St. Thomas Aquinas showed how the three theological virtues are related in the order of precedence and the order of perfection. In the order of precedence, faith comes first, followed by hope and then charity. In Thomas’s view, a man loves a thing because he apprehends it as his good. When we believe a person to be good, we develop hope in that person and then proceed to love him or her. But in the order of perfection, charity precedes faith and hope, for it is through charity that they reach their fullness as virtues. Hence, charity is the “mother and the root of all the virtues.”

Aquinas’s view is grounded in Scripture. St. Paul taught that of all the theological virtues the greatest is love (1 Cor. 13:13). Love, here called charity and understood in this context as Christian love, never fails, because the goal of our faith and what we hope for is the presence of God — and God is Love (1 John 4:8). Thus, although faith and hope can exist without charity, they are not perfect and Christian without charity.

On the other hand, charity is impossible without faith and hope because you have to have faith in God and hope in Him in order to commit your total self in love to Him. As St. Thomas stated:

Wherefore just as friendship with a person would be impossible, if one disbelieved in, or despaired of, the possibility of their fellowship or familiar colloquy; so too, friendship with God, which is charity, is impossible without faith, so as to believe in this fellowship and colloquy with God, and to hope to attain to this fellowship.

Faith dovetails with hope and matures in charity. The life of faith is truly redemptive if there is hope for a future glory and a true friendship with God, which is charity. The work of Christian faith is charity, and the eternal expectation connected with it is hope. The journey of faith means growing in all three of these essential virtues.

Editor’s note: This article is from a chapter in Our Journey to God: An African Priest Explores the Power of Faith from Abraham to You , which is available from Sophia Institute Press . image: Faith, Hope and Charity by Fr. Lawrence Lew, O.P. via Flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

Tagged as: Best of Week , charity , faith , hope , Pope Benedict XVI , Sophia Excerpts , Theological Virtues

By Fr. Maurice Emelu

Fr. Maurice Emelu is a priest from the Diocese of Orlu, Nigeria and is the founder of Gratia Vobis Ministries, a Catholic media apostolate dedicated to evangelization and charity for the poor. Fr. Maurice also hosts the television show Word for a Wounded World on EWTN.

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“Charity” or “Love” in 1 Corinthians 8:1 et al.?

“Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.” (1 Corinthians 8:1, KJV)

Some critics claim that the word “charity” is either wrong or outdated. Newer translations use the word “love” instead. The Greek word at issue is “αγαπη (agapē)”. Thayer defines this word as “brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence” ( Thayer’s Greek Definitions ). The definition of “charity” is “benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity” ( Merriam-Webster ). The English word “charity” comes from the Latin “caritas”, which means “Christian love” as opposed to sexual love ( Online Etymological Dictionary ). Throughout history, Latin theologians such as Augustine have used “caritas” as a term of art to refer specifically to Christian love ( On Christian Doctrine , 3.10.16). Whenever “charity” appears in the KJV, it is in reference to Christian love toward fellow Christians (the following are all 24 verses that have “charity”):

“Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.” (1 Corinthians 8:1)

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,… Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away…. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-4, 8, 13)

“Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts, but rather that ye may prophesy.” (1 Corinthians 14:1)

“Let all your things be done with charity.” (1 Corinthians 16:14)

“And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.” (Colossians 3:14)

“But now when Timotheus came from you unto us, and brought us good tidings of your faith and charity, and that ye have good remembrance of us always, desiring greatly to see us, as we also to see you:” (1 Thessalonians 3:6)

“We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;” (2 Thessalonians 1:3)

“Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned:” (1 Timothy 1:5)

“Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.” (1 Timohy 2:15)

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” (1 Timothy 4:12)

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

“But thou hast fully known my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, charity, patience,” (2 Timothy 3:10)

“That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.” (Titus 2:2)

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8)

“Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity. Peace be with you all that are in Christ Jesus. Amen.” (1 Peter 5:14)

“And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.” (2 Peter 1:7)

“Which have borne witness of thy charity before the church: whom if thou bring forward on their journey after a godly sort, thou shalt do well:” (3 John 1:6)

“These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear: clouds they are without water, carried about of winds; trees whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked up by the roots;” (Jude 1:12)

“I know thy works, and charity, and service, and faith, and thy patience, and thy works; and the last to be more than the first.” (Revelation 2:19)

“Charity” is therefore an accurate translation of “αγαπη”. Some might say that in our day “charity” only refers to the giving of donations. Even if that were true, it does not follow that “charity” in the KJV is an error or outdated. Rather, it shows that our culture has strayed far from the Bible’s scope of what is meant by “charity”.

"Love" or "Agape love" in John 21:15 et al.?

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Former NFL owner just donated his $35 million mansion to charity: Here's what the charity plans to do with it

This is a donation that you don't see every day.

It turns out that selling a football team is a lot easier than selling a mansion, at least if you're Dan Snyder.

The former Washington Commanders owner had no problem selling the team back in July 2023 when NFL owners unanimously approved a $6 billion sale to Josh Harris. At the same time that Snyder was trying to sell the Commanders, he was also trying to sell his Maryland-area mansion, and things definitely didn't go as smoothly.

According to the Wall Street Journal , Snyder put his mansion up for sale in February 2023 with an asking price of $49 million. If you're wondering how much house you get for $49 million, you can scroll through the photos below.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Luxury Listings (@luxury_listings)

After the house went unsold for nearly six months, Snyder reduced the asking price by more than $14 million, knocking the cost of the house down to $34.9 million.

Even with the reduced asking price, Snyder still didn't have any takers, so he decided to take the house off the market and GIVE IT AWAY. Instead of selling the mansion, Snyder simply donated it to the American Cancer Society, according to The Washington Post .

The charity won't be using the mansion as a new headquarters, though. As a matter of fact, they won't be using it at all. A charity spokesperson told The Washington Post that the ACS plans to sell the mansion and then use the money "to advance our mission of improving the lives of cancer patients and their families."

"ACS is grateful for support and commitment -- in the form of time, service, and financial contributions -- from individuals and families like the Snyders, which will allow us to accelerate progress against cancer and to improve the lives of cancer patients and their families," ACS said in a statement .

Snyder didn't have a great reputation as an owner, but helping the ACS almost certainly means a lot to him. His wife, Tanya, was once diagnosed with breast cancer. Also, she was a major supporter of the NFL's "THINK-PINK®" campaign , which she helped get off the ground when it started in 2013.

Although it's a fantastic donation, Snyder will get to reap at least one benefit here: The former NFL owner will be able to use the appraised value of the house as a tax deduction. If the appraised value is $40 million, then he'll get a $40 million deduction, so donating the house will help his bottom line.

Snyder owned the Commanders for just over 24 years before he was forced to sell the team following a series of controversies that ended with him getting fined $60 million , a fine that was announced on the same day as the sale of the team back on July 21, 2023.

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For National Foster Care Day, single dad shares his story: 'I gain more than I have given'

More than 600,000 children move through the U.S. foster care system in a single year, according to the most recent numbers from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Children's Bureau.

The need is great, 50-year-old single foster dad Peter Mutabazi told USA TODAY, and right in our backyard.

Mutabazi, who lives in North Carolina with his three adopted children, has an incredible story and message for those considering opening their home to a child in need.

"Most Americans say, 'well, I won't foster because I'll be so attached and then I'll have to give them up.' Well, it's not about you," Mutabazi shared on Friday , days before National Foster Care Day , which is marked annually on the first Tuesday of May. "The kids, to them it's life and death."

Mutabazi knows exactly how it feels to have a family, but live as an orphan. At 10-years-old, he ran away from home to live on the streets of Kampala, Uganda because it was safer there than with his parents. Mutabazi lived by a bus stop garbage dump near a market where he would steal food to survive until one of the men he was going to rob asked him a question that changed his life.

'What is your name?'

"In all my years living on the streets, no one had ever asked me my name," Mutabazi writes in his book " Now I Am Known ," released in 2022.

"Anonymity helped me forget myself and remain calloused, detached," he shared in the book. "On the other hand, something about the way this short man asked my name stirred up an unfamiliar hope inside me."

The man who asked Mutabazi his name would keep coming back to the market to find him, little by little offering more connection, like an invitation to a family dinner and the opportunity to go to school that eventually brought Mutabazi to the States.

"I see the best in kids in the worst time possible for them because that is how this man saw me," Mutabazi said. "I was trying to steal from him, but he didn't see a thief. He saw a kid with potential."

Mutabazi sees himself in his kids

Mutabazi shared how his story helps him connect to the children coming through his home.

"Having lived unwanted, unloved, seen as the worst of all in society, and overcoming that really helps me to see my kids the same way," Mutabazi shared. "I was seen as a thief, dirty little boy who didn't matter in life. I feel sometimes in foster care that is how the kids feel. My mom doesn't want me. I've been in seven homes, and no one wants me. It really helps me understand where they're coming from. I understand the trauma they have."

And Mutabazi has a sweet method to help children through those traumatic experiences, which he wrote about in his book.

When an adoptive or foster child is struggling and has shut him out, Mutabazi makes sure the family dog is there with them for comfort, but also to remind them they are wanted. Around the dog's neck is a bandana with these words:

You matter. You belong. You are loved. You are seen. You are chosen. You are a gift. You are not alone. You are enough. You are heard. You are brave. You are special. You are known.

'I love you that way'

In Mutabazi's many years of fostering, he also learned to let go of expectations and offer grace to children who are acting out or being destructive.

"They didn't choose to come to my home so for me to somehow expect they should respect my things, they should be thankful ... they didn't choose to come there," Mutabazi shared. "I have to be there for my kids by removing myself. I can't make it about me because I will lose why I am doing what I'm doing."

When a child puts a hole in the wall, Mutabazi takes that child to go pick out art that they like to cover it. When there is any other form of destruction because a child is trying to cope or self-protect, Mutabazi works on creative ways to ensure that child feels safe.

"I don't want my kids to feel ashamed for the things that they do that are weird. For me, I'm like, I love you that way. It takes the pressure off them to perform," Mutabazi shared.

"I don't want my children to be what I want them to be. I gotta let them be who they are. That is the greatest need."

Biological parents matter, too

Three in five kids are reunited with their parents after spending time in foster care, according to HHS , but even when it's clear a child will not be going home, Mutabazi works to ensure the relationship with that child's parents can be as whole as possible.

"I understand their bio parents so well because I feel my mother was the same way. She was mistreated and abused in every way shape and form there was. No way she could protect me. She didn't have the power to do so," Mutabazi shared.

"I have empathy towards their parents. The desire to know (the kids') parents and see them as human beings rather than the villains has really helped me," he said, adding that he'd like to see those relationships repaired.

"We find ways to include them in what we do every day," said Mutabazi.

The toughest part of single fatherhood

Mutabazi, who has fostered 41 children, said the toughest part about fostering is the single parenting.

"As a male, I always thought I'd be judged as a dad. And most of my kids don't look like me," Mutabazi shared. He has had the police called on him and has been asked to show proof that he is his kids' father.

"That was the most scary ... others saying, 'Are you worthy to be a parent? You are not good enough.'" he shared. "The hardest part was the judgment outside and the loneliness that comes with it."

"Sometimes we single parents are undervalued, but our kids don't care" Mutabazi said. "Both parents, one parent, we have an opportunity to change someone's life. As you're getting older, as you wait, you can actually be a parent to someone."

Mutabazi's work in foster care

Alongside fostering, Peter runs his foundation: Now I Am Known . One of the most rewarding projects it takes on is room makeovers for teens coming into a new home, he said.

"They never feel they belong or feel it's their home," Mutabazi shared. The room makeovers seek to restore dignity to these kids by allowing them to choose what they want, down to the paint colors, Mutabazi said. The project currently only extends to families in North Carolina.

Mutabazi has a children's book in the works and a parenting book slated to drop in July 2025. You can follow his parenting journey on Instagram at @ fosterdadflipper and keep up with his coming and goings from his website.

Mutabazi said his children gave him a purpose that he didn't know was possible.

"I realize that sometimes I gain more than I have given," Mutabazi said.

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Hannah Brown on Her Debut Romance Novel: It’s a ‘Great Continuation’ of ‘My Journey’ After ‘The Bachelorette’

Mistakes We Never Made

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Mistakes We Never Made .]

The Bachelorette alum Hannah Brown knows a thing or two about love stories. Fans have followed her journey to find true love onscreen and off, but now she’s ready for the next chapter. Brown’s debut romance novel, Mistakes We Never Made , is available for purchase now.

The story follows longtime rivals Emma and Finn as they embark on a last-minute road trip when her best friend, Sybil, goes missing just days before her wedding. Emma and Finn have a long history together, filled with so many almosts . As they try to track down Sybil, Emma and Finn’s long-held feelings for each other resurface and they finally settle years of confusion.

Below, Brown opens up about her plans for more romance novels, the actors she envisions as Emma and Finn, the Sybil situation, and more.

When did you realize you wanted to dabble in romance writing?

Hannah Brown: My first book [ God Bless this Mess ] I could have never imagined people would care that much about my life, much less make it like a New York Times bestseller. It was just wild to me. But something that I’ve always wanted to do was write a novel. I remember when I first became the Bachelorette and had gotten to this Hollywood world, an agent asked me, “What do you enjoy? What do you want to do? What are big dreams you have?” The first dream that I said that I wanted to do and had before everything was writing novels. I’ve always loved writing and reading myself. It was something that I knew would be a hard goal, but something I just always hoped I could do one day. Finally, it was the right time, and I had the space to be able to do it. As far as being in this romance genre, I love reading romance myself, but also, I think it’s a great continuation for people who have followed my journey and my own love story to be able to continue to give love stories for people to root for in a different way in this next chapter of my life.

Do you plan to write more?

I do. I’ve really enjoyed this process. I actually am working on book two right now.

Is it in the same universe? Can you tease who you’re going to focus on in the second book?

I think when people read the first book, there will be a character that they want to know a little bit more about. Why does she do the things that she does in the book? We will definitely lean into that, but there’s a core four groups of girls in this book. That was one of the big inspirations for even starting this. I really wanted a good, solid female friendship to be the root of these love stories. I think that’s one of the most beautiful love stories you can have in your life is with your female friendships. The idea is, in this first book, you’ll really be invested in Emma and Finn’s relationship, but also want to know more about Sybil, Nikki, and Willow. As we continue, people will want to get to know more about them and I’ll be able to share more and create more.

In a perfect world, would you want to do four books focusing on each of the girls?

In my mind’s eye right now, that would be amazing.

How much of yourself did you put into these characters?

Emma and the other girls are all parts of me. Emma is a part of me… It’s like, if I was more of this part of me, who would I be? And that would be Emma, that feeling the need to have everything under control, to be the one that is fixing things, saving face. If I really leaned into that, I would be Emma. I would say in high school and college, I identified with that part of myself a lot. I also now know through therapy and everything where that stems from. Obviously, this is a fun love story that’s really quick, fast read, but I also wanted there to be depth of like, why would somebody do what Emma does? Or react the way that she does and have that journey? I wanted that thread going through the whole thing for people to relate to in some way. I love escapism. I need it, especially right now that my life is so crazy. I’m like, just give me some book that’s in some fantasy world. I totally get that, but for anything that I do, whether it’s my podcasts, whether it’s how I show up onscreen, or these books, I want it to be an additive experience. That you didn’t just waste time or just fully escaped, but you learn something about yourself through this character and her own journey. That was really important to me. I think that a lot of myself and what I’ve learned about myself and those parts of me are throughout the book and how Emma’s kind of grappling with her fears, how she shows up with Finn, and how she just shows up in life in general.

Who are some romance authors who have inspired you?

I really love Emily Henry . I feel like she’s just done a wonderful job of creating a story that people just get sucked into. They’re just perfect for wanting that quick escape, wanting to feel good at the end. I love the way that she’s been able to create that for so many of us who love her writing. I also really love women’s lit just in general, so like a Taylor Jenkins Reid . Any of their books, I’m always first to want to read those. I’m inspired by a lot of different people, but those are the ones that just are top of mind.

Emma and Finn’s relationship had years and years of history. Did you ever consider ending the book in a different way? Maybe a not-so-clean-cut happily ever after?

In the romance genre, that’s the thing you always have to play with. People are signing up for the happily ever after, whereas with a women’s lit or something like that, that might not always be the case. I struggled [with it]. Sometimes, I just want them to blow up their life. It’s really interesting because you have to tell this story about this journey, and then, at the end, there has to be some type of resolution. It’s just part of the genre. So I knew I wanted it to end with a happy couple at the end of this, but I wanted to make it where Emma had to do a lot of work on herself through these few days of really just having that forced proximity, which is a trope in romance to have to deal with different beliefs that she had about herself and how she was supposed to be and how this was supposed to go and who Finn is and everything. There had to be that tension and those moments, but I always knew that they would end up together.

Did you always want to have an epilogue?

At first, that wasn’t going to be in there. But I love epilogues. I want to know what their life ended up looking like. Are they on a front porch swinging in rocking chairs? It depends on how far we go into the future. But I just thought it was great for people to see that Emma had a lot of dreams, and Finn was able to help her on that journey. I thought it was great to just have that nice, beautiful bow at the end. We were getting a nice wrapped present, but I wanted to put the pretty bow on the end for people to just really love this beautiful story that Emma and Finn go on because I think for most of the book, it’s a lot of miscommunication. You kind of have to wait until the end to see that they’re really together, they really decided to go all in, so at least give a little bit more and see them as a couple. Because in their past, they weren’t actually ever a couple either. So when doing those flashbacks, I wanted to give the reader that satisfaction of what are these two like when they’re really truly committed to each other?

There are so many books getting film adaptations. Do you have dream actors you envision as Emma and Finn?

The people I have in my head are probably a lot older than the actual characters are, which is weird. I think of an Emma Stone or a Sadie Sink , if we’re going more with maybe where they’re at in their life. And then Finn, I wanted him to look like Jesse Williams from when he was on Grey’s Anatomy . I say that in the book, so I’m like, do we have another Jesse Williams somewhere? I don’t know. But that would be the kind of look.

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When it comes to Sybil, there’s some mystery about what happened to her on prom night years ago. Why did you decide not to give readers all the answers?

I hope it brings people in for more and want more. Hopefully, in the next book, some questions could be answered. But I think it was important for this story that there are so many question marks. Why did Emma even go on this wild goose chase when she doesn’t have all the answers, but she feels like it’s her place to step in? I think it had to be that way to be able to tell Emma and Finn’s story, for there to still be some unanswered questions because they don’t have these answers fully for themselves. And then, that is really maybe not fully Emma’s story, but that’s more Sybil for her to start to be honest with herself and with other people around her. Why is she running? That’s kind of Sybil’s question. I think it’d be really cool to explore that.

I love that there’s no love triangle between Sybil, Finn, and Emma. Sybil and Finn have a history, but it’s nothing romantic. They’re all intertwined, but Sybil and Emma are not competing against each other.

I think it would make sense for Emma being Emma to question things. But it really is about developing Finn as a character, because like I said, they haven’t ever been together. There’s not always been that trust fully within, so you have to build that trust of who Finn is through other relationships to be able to do that. But it was tricky because, like you said, you don’t want it to seem like it’s a love triangle. Sybil, we can already tell is a little bit of a hot mess. It was really important to ground Finn and his loyalty and trustworthiness in this space. It was difficult to make that work, but I feel like I accomplished it.

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Ricki Lake opens up after losing 35 pounds: 'This is what happy looks like'

"I feel the best I can remember feeling in my life," Lake told "GMA."

Media mogul Ricki Lake is speaking out for the first time about her recent weight loss journey, saying she was able to shed 35 pounds without using medication.

Lake told "Good Morning America" she made a decision to take a bet on herself, and in the process, discovered a newfound happiness.

"I feel the best I can remember feeling in my life," Lake told ABC News' Kayna Whitworth. I have this new marriage and I'm so blissfully happy with this amazing man, my perfect man. And if I pinpoint one thing that was not working in our lives, is that we were carrying this extra weight."

Throughout her longtime career, Lake has been an open book about her weight challenges and health struggles. But in the last seven months, she said she and her husband teamed up to lose weight and began to share their joint journey on Instagram.

"It's been a commitment. You know, it's been a financial commitment. It's been a like, a time commitment," Lake said. "But it's awesome. Like, I'm just, I'm so happy and proud of us."

PHOTO: Ricki Lake attends The Queerties 2024 on Mar. 12, 2024, in Hollywood, Calif.

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Lake said at 55 years old, she is in perimenopause and said a doctor suggested she go on medication to help her lose weight, an idea she wasn't on board with.

"He was saying you weren't going to be successful without it, is what he said to me," Lake recalled. "And I like a challenge. And I like proving people wrong. And so, it pissed me off."

Lake said she was "reluctant" about relying on medications and instead wanted to take on a lifestyle change.

"I just was reluctant. And I wanted to give it a go on my own. And so I said to my husband, 'You want to go on this ride with me?' And he's like, 'Sure,'" Lake said.

Lake and her husband of two years, Ross Burningham , began intermittent fasting , started following the keto diet and began exercising, including doing Pilates and sleep tracking.

Lake said their major changes paid off and she has dropped 35 pounds since October. She said Burningham has dropped nearly 40 pounds.

"This is a lifestyle change. I’ve made this my job. And it's become my joy," Lake said. "Like, I just, I love it. I think it's safe to say I'm in the best shape of my life."

"I say, 'This is what happy looks like.' This is really, I could cry. I'm so happy. I'm so happy," Lake added.

In March, Lake showed off her weight loss by donning her famous red swimsuit, which she wore for the cover of Us Weekly in May 2007. She recently re-wore another dress she walked the red carpet in at the 2007 Tribeca Film Festival.

PHOTO: Ricki Lake attends the premiere of "The Business of Being Born" at the Tribeca Film Festival, April 29, 2007, in New York.

"Oh, this old thing?? Just had it hanging around 🥰 Originally wore this dress to the Business of Being Born world premiere in 2007 and now here I am wearing it again in 2024!" Lake captioned her Instagram post .

MORE: Ricki Lake shares then-and-now swimsuit photo 17 years apart on health journey

Burningham compared his wife's "dedication" to her weight loss journey as one of a dog chasing a bone.

"She's tenacious," he said. "When she decides that she's gonna do something, she's all in and just goes after it. And it's inspiring."

For anyone looking to make a change themselves, Lake said she recommends starting from a place of positivity and gratitude and then putting in the hard work to make it happen.

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With her newfound energy, Lake is pouring herself into helping others through her work with Community Access, an organization that provides job training and housing assistance to people struggling with mental illness. It's a cause she embraces in honor of her late husband Christian Evans, who died by suicide after experiencing mental health issues.

"I think he's magic up there and he's watching over me," Lake said. "I believe he handpicked Ross for me. Yeah, I have a deep, deep knowing that he's left his mark with me."

Lake said now, she's looking forward to the future, and her best days are just on the horizon.

"I've been famous since [I was] 18 years old, from 'Hairspray.' And yet, these are the sweetest of days," Lake said.

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Charles Kelley of Lady A opens up about his journey to sobriety: "I can't really say I'm sorry enough"

By Gayle King , Analisa Novak

May 10, 2023 / 8:13 AM EDT / CBS News

Lady A, the chart-topping country music trio, has been making music together for 17 years. However, in August of last year, the group postponed their tour to allow bandmate Charles Kelley to seek treatment for alcohol abuse.

Kelley, who has won seven Grammys with Lady A, revealed exclusively to "CBS Mornings" that behind the scenes, his relationship with alcohol was taking a turn for the worse.

"I remember joking, you know, with buddies," Kelley said. "I was like, 'Yeah, I'm definitely a functioning alcoholic.' And I said, 'I know I'm gonna have to stop at some point, but that's not today.'"

"And that was always kind of my little joke. It was, like, that tells you I kinda knew," Kelley said.

Kelley said his bandmates, Hillary Scott and Dave Haywood, were also aware of the problem, and first addressed it five years ago.

"It was the first time that they had really, you know," Kelley said. "We would have shows where they're like, 'Hey man, you might have had a little too much to drink that night.' I was like, 'Okay, well, has it affected how hard I work? Has it affected the shows?'"

He recalls being dismissive to their concerns and quick with his words, leading to emotional and verbal outbursts. Although he did not engage in physical altercations, he recognized that his behavior was influenced by alcohol.

Kelley also revealed how his drinking affected their seven-year-old son, Ward.

"Cassie [Charles' wife] would tell me some stories about how little things that Ward would say that I didn't even know he was noticing. You know, 'Daddy's talking a little funny,' or, 'You and Daddy argue a lot,'" he said.

Kelley said that hearing that his son noticed his drinking "crushed" him, because his son is the most important thing in his life.

He told "CBS Mornings" he had tried to quit before, but had never tried going to rehab because he was scared, and associated rehab to those who have a serious problem with alcohol — not realizing that there are different ways that alcohol can impact people's lives.

"What I've learned is, there's degrees of alcoholics," Kelley said. "You know, I think that's one of the things too that I want to even share is, like, just because you're not living on the street, or you're not waking up in a bush, like some stories you may hear, it can get there."

However, this time Kelley decided to give rehab a chance for a month, and it worked for him. He credits a number of different tools in his success including attending "a lot of group meetings with other alcoholics," and having a case manager, as well as a device he blows into every morning and every night.

He said this work is not just for his own wellbeing, but also for his wife, his band, and everyone else to know that he is checking alcohol.

"Slowly, but surely, that has built the trust back that eventually I think that won't be a necessity," Kelley said.

Kelley's wife Cassie said that the experience was difficult but ultimately worth, because the journey, as she learned, is just as much hers as it is his.

She was surprised to learn about the amount of work she had to do when Kelley was in rehab. Initially, Cassie was upset and thought, "'You [Charles] did this. And now I have to do all of this work, too.'"

However, she said she later realized that alcoholism is a family disease that affects everyone in the family system. She explained that she could have chosen not to do the work, but would have had to live with the unhealed trauma.

Their marriage, and Kelley's drinking, came to a head during a trip to Greece. Kelley said he got into an argument with Cassie and turned off his phone, disappearing for the night and drinking with strangers. When he returned the next morning, Cassie told him he needed help and was planning to meet with a divorce attorney. The incident was a turning point for Kelley, who realized he needed to deal with his alcoholism. He flew directly to treatment, crediting his wife for pushing him to seek help.

"It just makes me feel so grateful at how close I came to losin' it all," Kelley said. "And I think the thing that's hard is to know how much it affected Cassie the most, and my band, and the people around me. And how much it emotionally kinda wrecked them for a while. And that, I can't really say I'm sorry enough. And it's just gonna take time to rebuild that."

Kelley's road to recovery includes therapy sessions with his group. Lady A launched their latest tour at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville last month, featuring Kelley's original song "As Far As You Could," which he refers to as his goodbye letter to alcohol.

Kelley said he is now sober and healthy, grateful for the support he's received from his bandmates, family and fans.

"I feel a lot of love," Kelley said.

If you or a loved one is experiencing a problem with alcohol, help is available via the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.

Gayle King is co-host of "CBS Mornings."

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